 Ladies and gentlemen, the railroad hours. And here comes our star-studded show train. Tonight, the Association of American Railroads presents the charming Gilbert and Sullivan Comic Opera, the Pirates of Penvance, starring Gordon MacGray and his two guest stars, Clark Dennis and Lucille Norman. Our choir is under the direction of Norman Luboff, and the music is prepared and conducted by Carmen Dragon. Yes, tonight another great musical success is brought to you by the American Railroad. The same railroads that bring you most of the food you eat, the clothes you wear, the fuel you burn, and all the other things you use in your daily life. And now here is our star, Gordon MacGray. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Well, sir, we're off to that delightful world of nonsense and charming improbability that was fashioned by Gilbert and Sullivan. I'll be the very model of a modern major general. Clark Dennis will be Frederick, and lovely Lucille Norman will be Mabel, as we bring you the Pirates of Penvance. Have you ever wanted to be a pirate? Well, I have. Quite confidentially, just between you and me, I often lock myself in my study, pull out a wooden cutlass, and sing a rousing pirate song. Oh, better far to live and die play flag, flag, I fly then play a sanctimonious part with a pirate head and a pirate heart way to the teething world go you where pirates all our world to do but I'll be true to the song I sing pirate king I'm a major general, a paragon of respectability and the father of eight daughters, all girls. Meanwhile, off on the rocky coast of Cornwall, some real pirates are having a high old time. One rocky coast of Cornwall, please. Thank you. And now let's hear from a real pirate king. Oh, oh, King of Pirates, Harry Bill, oh, King of Pirates, well, the plenus rises from indenture, bleed from his arm and pirate down with thee. He won and a full-fledged ensign. Pirate king, I thank you, but today I leave you forever. But why, a keener hand never scuttled a canard or a ship-to-hand spike? Whatever that means. I was apprenticed to you, and it was my duty to stay because I am a slave of duty, but it was all an error. An error? What error? I cannot tell you, it would reflect on my nuts. Nay, dear master, better have it out at once. When Frederick was a little lad, he was so brave and daring his father thought he'd friendship him to some career deep-faring. I was a lad, his nursery mate, and so it fell to my lot to take and bind a promising voice of friendship to a pilot. A lad, not bad for a holly lad, so sure did not, to make your boy a pilot. And I did not catch the word, so right through being instructions which within my brain did gyrate. I took and bound this promising voice of friendship to a pilot. A lad, not bad for a holly lad, so sure did not, to make your boy a pilot. They still are, but at midnight my obligation ceases. I must say we haven't much to offer, Fred. We don't seem to make piracy pay. I'm sure I don't know why. It's because you're too tender-hearted. For instance, you make a point of never attacking a weaker party than yourselves, and when you attack a stronger party... We always get thrashed. Then again, you make a point of never molesting an orphan. Of course! We are orphans ourselves. Yes, but it's gotten around. Now everyone we capture says he's an orphan. The last three ships we took were manned entirely by orphans, so we had to let him go. And all I don't think much of our profession either, but contrasted with respectability, it's, um, um, comparatively honest. Meanwhile, my eminence, the very model of a modern major general, accompanied by all eight of my daughters, were off for a picnic. Where? The rocky coast of Cornwall. A beautiful mix of the sky, the glass is striking very high. Can't you find a hope that they are near the bank? But yesterday, tomorrow, it'll be hard. Oh, Father, I just know something exciting is going to happen. Well, it always does about this point in a comic opera. Why don't you girls run down to the seashore and go waiting? We will, Father. It's such a beautiful day. A beautiful mix of the sky, the glass is striking very high. Can't you find a hope that they are near the bank? Shoes off, girls. Drop, ladies. Stop. Don't remove another shoe. Alas, I am a pirate. Ladies, ladies, don't be afraid of me. Tonight, I am renouncing my profession. Oh, how wonderful it is to see you. Up until now, the only woman I have known is my nursemaid. And so I thought all women looked 47. Oh, handsome he is. And how pitiful his story is. Oh, it's one maid. A major general? Yes, gentlemen. Permit me to introduce my son and major general. I've information, vegetable, animal, and mineral. I know the kings of England and I quote the pysistatical for marathon to water, lure, nor a categorical. I'm very well acquainted to with matters mathematical. I understand equation for the simple and for radical. Above, I know milty, and I'm peeming with a lot of views. Now, let's see. What rhymes with news? Maybe needs a new pair of shoes. And, uh, oh, I have it. Very cheerful facts about the spread of the hot news. Very cheerful facts about the differential calculus. I know the scientific names of the very model of a modern major general. I'm ethicist, the reeking of the sense of paradox. I answer hard across the cyber-pity taste for paradox. I quote an illy geeks, all the crimes of peely gavelas. God, I second floor peculiarities for fabulous. I can tell and doubt a rabies, and garros, thousands of themies. I know the poking porous from the frogs of Baristophanes. Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's dinner. Four. We have now. Four. Dinosaur. And whistle all the air, some light and fertile nonsense. Pinnacle rider, washing bill and Babylonic uniform. And tell you every detail of Caracacus's uniform. And short and mad is vegetable, animal and mineral. I am the very model of a modern major general. I have some idea of what's going on. You mustn't do that. This is a picturesque uniform, but I'm not entirely familiar with it. What are you? We are all single gentlemen. Yes, I gathered that. Papa, they are pirates. Now, wait a minute. I object to pirates as sons-in-law. And we object to major generals as the fathers-in-law. Ah, an idea. Gentlemen, have you ever known what it is to be an orphan? No, Dashelaw. Here we go again. Gentlemen, I am an orphan boy. Then our rules protect you. You may be an honorary member of our band. What do you suppose they'll do when they find out? I'm the only orphan in the British Empire who still has a mother and a father. At this time of national crisis, Americans remember that this is not the first Christmas season during which our country has faced a grim and crying future. 173 years ago, General Washington's army encamped at Valley Forge, lacked food and fuel and arms and clothing, lacked almost everything, but tremendous spiritual courage and a strong faith in the righteousness of their cause. And that strong faith in the new ideals of liberty and freedom of opportunity inspired our young nation to win through to final victory. Today, with Christmas only two short weeks away, our country faces another sobering crisis. And as we make our Christmas preparations, we cannot help thinking of the many thousands of heroic men in our armed forces who will not spend Christmas Day with their families. Men who'll spend this important season on the frozen snow-covered battlefields of Korea fighting to preserve the same ideals of freedom and liberty that fired the souls of Washington's army in that winter at Valley Forge. And today, thinking of these men of our armed forces, we know all America is determined that they shall not want for anything we can give them that will strengthen them in their valiant fight against overwhelming odds. The railroads of America are deeply dedicated to the achievement of this goal. They are making full use of all the improvements to their plant and equipment installed since the end of World War II. Since the start of the Korean War, the railroads have greatly expanded and speeded up their program to meet the ever-mounting transportation demands of the country. And for the future, they are determined to provide every rail transportation need of our armed forces, first, fully, and without delay. Starring Gordon Macrae as the Major General, you see a Norman as Mabel. Rick, help me. My poor father is so sad, so unhappy. Major General Stanley, tell me, why do you sigh? My boy, I have escaped from the pirates by lying to them. And when they find out, what will they do? It is midnight and I am no longer a 21st birthday has arrived. I am free to join you as we march against the pirates of Penzance. Are not your national police here to help protect you? Oh, they are indeed. I should call them. You know in America they have an expression for this. All right, Louis, drop the gun. When the foreman bears his steel Tarantara, tarantara We uncomfortable feel Tarantara And we find the wisest thing Tarantara, tarantara To slap a chest and sing Tarantara, we're the mutants. My nursemaid. We have a piece of news for you, my lad. Tell him, Ruth. But you were born on the 29th of February in at least a year. But I have just reached my 21st year. Yes, but you were a predestined was until your 21st birthday, which will occur early in 1980. My goodness. That means I'm about five years old. I don't feel five years old, especially when I look at you, Mabel. Don't go back to the pirates, Frederick. Will you wait for me, Mabel, until 1980? Features of their liberty and all that. Great is any honest To be done, to be done The policeman's lot is not a happy one. Happy one. When the enterprising burglar's not a burgling. Not a burgling. When the cut throat isn't occupied in crime. And listen to the maddie. When the cost has been his jumping on his mother. Asking in the sun. In the sun. Or take one consideration with a happy one. They're sneaking up on us like burglars in the night. Listen. Where will the father be? Take the notice. Frederick has told us of your deceit. You are no orphan. No, but if you kill me, all my daughters will be. I'm sorry. If you kill me, all my daughters will be. Silence. Prepare to die. Now just a minute, King. Just a minute. To gain a brief advantage, you can thrive. But your proud triumph will not be long-lived. Don't say you're orphaned. To Virginia, East, it was Ruth and to our entire company. Gilbert and Sullivan's Pirates of Penn's Anse was dramatized for the railroad hour by Lawrence and Glee. You know, back in the days of World War II, I remember what a thrill it was to go home for a visit. And I know thousands of veterans will remember what it meant to save up the dollars for that trip. That's why it's good to hear that this year the railroads are again offering special reduced rates for military personnel traveling on leave during the Christmas holidays. From December 15th until January 15th, our men in uniform can make a round trip in railroad coaches for about two cents a mile. And now here again are our guests, Norman and Clark Dennis. Well, it was a real pleasure doing Gilbert and Sullivan with Norman and Dennis. Hi, it was fun, Gordon. Tell me something, Gordon. Is there really a place called Penn's Anse? Well, there certainly is, Clark. It's a famous British seaside resort. It's, well, it's like saying the Pirates of Palm Springs or the Pirates of Pismo Beach. Where are you heading next week, Major? Well, Bonnie Lass will head into Scotland for the magic of the lovely musical hit Brigadoom. And Mary and Bell and say, looky here, Clark Dennis will be our guest. Well, we'll be listening. Well, what am I saying? I'll be here. Good night, Gordon. Good night, folks. All aboard. Well, sir, it looks as though we're ready to pull out. And so until next week, goodbye. The Penn's Anse was presented by special arrangement with the Tams Whitmark Music Library. Gordon McRae can be seen starring in the Warner Bros. production, The West Point Story. Our choir is under the direction of Norman Luboff, and our music is prepared and conducted by Carmen Dragon. This is Marvin Miller saying goodbye until next week for the American Railroad. And I'll keep you into your Monday night...