 Hi and welcome to Let's Talk Tachles. I'm so happy to be here again. Today we have a very beautiful and interesting conversation with Dr. Schloemer Bennett. And I really advise you to be patient and listen to it. You'll learn a lot. Wait till the end. There's a lot of surprises in the content towards the end. And as always, hope you enjoy it. We would love to hear more from you at Let's Talk Tachles Now.com. I'd also like to thank our sponsors, the Format Press. We invite you to join them, our sponsor as well. You can see information on our website, Let'sTalkTachlesNow.com, of how to reach us. Thank you very much. Hello and welcome to Let's Talk Tachles. Tonight, without further ado, I'd like to introduce to you my dear friend, Dr. Schloemer Bennett. Dr. Bennett, come on. Schloemer Bennett. You're not a doctor, are you? I have a PhD in psychology. That's very admirable. Can we tease you a little bit and ask you, come on, you're a beautiful family, wife and children. Don't tell me you're a doctor. First of all, I have a wife and children. I have a beautiful family. I was in Kuala Lumpur. I was in Yeshiva. Yeah, I went to the field of mental health. First, I went to school. I became a therapist, a mental health counselor. A master's degree. Then I went to my doctorate, which is a long process, which is not a discussion for this podcast. But it's doable. And today, you see a lot of people, chassidische heimische, going to the field. Not necessarily a psychology level, but a lot of social workers, a lot of mental health counselors. Yeah. So I basically have a million questions based on your statement. Okay. Number one, what drives chassidische heimische? Like we said, coil family to go out of the box. Let's call it out of the box. When you started, it was definitely out of the box. Correct. To go and become a doctor. Strive and hope and study and do the process. So I always say that people expect... I get this question a lot, different versions of the question. People always expect some dramatic answer, some higher story, difficult childhood, whatever. But the truth is, I have the childhood like many other people, quote, unquote, normal. I don't think there's any normal childhood. I was always in the box. I'm still in the box very much. Also whatever that means. But I had a... When I was a teenager, I had a big interest in... I believe it was a natural interest on the standing people, helping people. I had an interest in particular in psychology. I didn't know back then even the word psychology, but I put my hand on a lot of different... Whatever was kosher for chassidische bocha to read on different reading material, different things that could gather at that time. So after Marasena, I was looking for different ways of what's going to be my future. Back in the day, a big thing was then real estate. It was before the 08... Still is. Still is. Yeah, but then... But I had this drive. I wanted to do something more impactful. I don't know where it came from, why I had it, but this was the fact. And I felt just I'm a job and start out like many people do. I want to do something more. It wasn't enough for me. That comes with more. It comes with more. So back then, somebody actually introduced me that there's a program in Barapark that you can get like a bachelor's degree and afterward a master's degree. And I just... It was a few months after my chassan, I just walked in. It was Turo in Barapark and I walked in and I started asking them what type of programs you have. And they offered... They had a few programs, one of them was mental health and I was like, okay. Wow. And... The rest is history. Yeah, at the time I didn't even think of where it's going to end, but it's like once you start and I just love the process of learning. Still to this day, I always look back at the years I was learning and studying. It's just being immersed in so much knowledge and learning new things and around people that are in similar interest. So the day that I graduated with my master's, I was already in the field because before you graduate you have to do the internships and all that. And I was doing some work and I didn't feel like I accomplished what I needed. Later I found out a lot of people have that feeling and it just comes with time. But somehow, some way, I just made a decision. I remember the day, the moment I made a decision, it wasn't even thought through. I want to go for my doctorate. And I just made that phone call and to a few schools. Within a few weeks I just enrolled in a program. I just continued. How long did it take from after the master to the doctorate? The doctorate was a long process. It took about four or five years. But I already worked in the field because I had my master's and I was able to get licensed as a mental health counselor. So I worked already. So it was easier in a sense because I wasn't just going to school. But people always ask me what's the drive of a person to do what I do. And I think there's no one answered it. Every person has different drives. But I always tell, if a person wants to succeed at least going to school, going into a profession which requires a lot of learning. A lot of professions you go into, you learn in the field and some professions you have to learn a lot of schooling and things that's out of your comfort zone. It's things that you're not used to reading books and listening to lectures and writing papers. A lot of new concepts, new ideas especially someone coming from the Hasidic world or even the Shi'i world it's not something we grow up with. We grow up with learning gamut and all that but it's a different lingo, different everything. So I think there's two main ingredients. You need to find something that really motivates you. And it's almost like a blind motivation like a childish motivation, like excitement. This is what I want to do. And you don't look back, you just do it. Can I stop your minute? It's hard to understand why this subject can sound like a childish motivation. It's really, in a way, it's a very boring and deep and even dark field to be in. It's interesting to hear that someone has at a younger age that drives the excitement and the thrill to master it and to be in it. When I mean a childish motivation I mean to say, maybe it's not the right phrase. No, I'm not. I just want to understand the deeper level of motivation. What drove you to come to that? I'm actually the opposite of what people consider sometimes internal, real motivation like understanding, knowing yourself, like going deeper. I'm the opposite of that. Just thinking of the dream. You have to think of the dream. I remember, I'm a little embarrassing to say this, but I can say this even here in front of the people here, that I used to have these visions that one day I'll stand in front of a crowd of people and talk about psychology. And back in the day I was just in Gimana in my early 20s and this was such a fine concept for me, but that was sometimes these hard days I used to have, I used to envision like standing in a stage in front of people or sitting in a room with someone and just helping them and the person's like opening up to me. Just these simple excitements of that vision that I want to see myself one day. In reality it's not like that, as we all know. I mean some days are like that, but in reality things are harder than it looks like, but I think in order for a person to go through such a difficult process, I mean tedious process. So difficult, tedious. Yeah, you want to find just a simple motivation that keeps you going. That worked for me because the other people have different ways of motivating themselves. Another important thing is something you have to be very resourceful. What I mean by resourceful is that there's not one way to do things. There's many different ways, especially today with technology. When I graduated, I had a few friends who took me, you know, made some Placidius Lachaeum sort of, and they asked me to say a few words and usually if somebody gets up like a graduation party, they say I want to thank my father, my mother, so I'm not even helping, I stood up and said I want to thank Google for helping me out. Without Google, we were what I'd be. In other words, you need to find these resources. People, you know, I reached out to many people that were not highly from the community because back then there was... This was going to be one of my following questions about feeling so alone in the community taking a part in such a big project. But I let you finish the thought that you were looking for people at the time you started saying that. Yeah, I reached out to people who went through the process or in the field already. And what I found is for the most part people who are in the field already are more than eager to help. Believe it or not, in any field, I know for myself over the last ten plus years I've helped numerous, I don't want to say exaggerations, but tens, maybe close to a hundred people who've reached out to me with even little help. Details, questions. Details, questions or sometimes they get stuck on certain assignments or certain classes they take in psychology or their mental health, whatever. And I'll be more than happy to help. And I always joke with my colleagues that I'd rather help someone in such a capacity, not rather, but sometimes it's much more exciting for me to help someone who is a student that want to help themselves. Then deal with the cases. But it's a joke, by the way. I love working with my clients. Of course. But so again, I think you need to really motivate yourself and find all these reasons. I think even if we would conclude the conversation right now, it was worth listening to it because it's a tremendous motivation for people that really anyone and everyone, once they jump into something with a real commitment, and they set themselves up to... And I want to be clear. I'm very flattered sometimes. People think of me as a very smart person. I always joke because Shem made my hair to fall out, so it makes me sound very smart. I don't consider myself a smarter person than an average person. I'm that serious now. I'm just a simple guy. If you ask my friends when you see the years, I'm just an average student, normal, run-of-the-mill person. It's doable. Everybody, if you put yourself into something and you really immerse yourself, you can really get to it. Wow. I would say you're out of the box kind of a guy. I remember you're in the Good Days. I have to share with the audience that Mr. Bennett is one of the founders of Traveling Conceding. No, no, no. I'm a member. I say one of them. You were very active. We met a couple of times. We met on the road. It takes a lot of love and dedication and selflessness to leave the house for weekends and to shaboose them and to make other people feel good about themselves, about Yiddish guide. And I know that you are also a big contributor to Karafutuni. Even before you were a lecturer there, before you were a hired. Take it, take it. I don't want to take away credit for missing people. No, no, no, no, no. Everyone gets their credit. You too. Thank you. But definitely to go back to the subject of your field. In those days, I think today there's a little bit of a little improvement in the openness and the readiness and the eagerness of our community and society to deal with these issues. But back then I would ask you why wouldn't you become a heart surgeon or brain surgeon or a foot doctor? Like if you want to have guaranteed clients when they book 10, 15, 20 appointments a day, do what's in, do what's popular. And to become at that time to become a doctor and a master in this field, I think takes a lot of bravery and I commend you for that. No, really, I'm married to Flare. But today I want to go to this subject because I know lately there's much more awareness in our community that people really have conditions and issues and they have to be and it's smart to deal with it rather than let it go and let it be ignored and for them to have a dark and sad life and unmanaged life full of trouble to rather deal with it. I want to tell you a quote I heard from my pharmacist two years ago, this is not today. He told me that more than 50% of its prescriptions more than 50% are mentally related. I thought he's truly at that time I thought that it came into our community a little too fast and too with a revenge a little bit and people are starting to just throw around titles and codes and HDD and ABC all kind of notes and names and titles and it took it to the next level of going to the pharmacy and going to specialists because to think that more than 50% of our society are people that are affected mentally and need help and I'm not the norm I'm not common to me it was a little bit a shocker. I know 50% of the population takes medication but it's a big number at the pharmacy in terms of giving out medication yeah what you're bringing up right now is something that's very personal to me because this is actually the subject I studied when I went to my doctorate in order to get to your doctorate you have to do a thing called it's called a thesis or dissertation so you have to actually do a study and present it for a group of professors all things and it's actually published my study that I did on the topic of stigma because what motivated me to to work on the subject of stigma which stigma means basically a certain negative or what's it referred to as a mark actually the word stigma comes that's very interesting years ago back in the Greeks so they used to take people of mental illness they used to burn on their face or something that people should know because back then they had all these beliefs so over the years through generations became this thing that people of mental illness are outcast or whatever so when I went into the field as I said before I was young I was actually very naive and I somehow didn't pick up so much on this whole thing that is so stigmatized you know I thought that yeah of course there's a stigma about this but the people will be very welcoming the fact somebody's here to help I was also a little bit in the bubble because I was most of my days then with other you know people learning the subjects discussing it and then I went out to people I told them what I'm doing and people like almost like what are you doing you're almost part of the stigma exactly and I never I told this recently in my speech and I remember the moment a very hush veroof told me like what are you doing he told me this like a basem that kid that Schmitz you gotta say in English that even a new broom when you use it it gets dirty so in other words you'll get dirty from these people and everything so by the way this roof fast forward is one of the biggest referrals today for mental health but what happened was also when I did my study so I looked at the subject of mental health and on stigma and I wanted to see what are the things what are the factors that causes people to have stigma because I want to see what can we do to change it so I looked at different things and of course the whole thing but the main important thing is push it people are just not knowledge about missing the knowledge about it so the basic education so an interesting thing what I saw in my data that I looked at people living in the area let's say in Monsi Brooklyn different places what I saw that for some reason there was slightly or even more than slightly less stigma let's say for people living in Monsi compared to people living in Brooklyn and that was an interesting thing for me why so I went back and I looked at a very simple factor how many mental health professionals are in Monsi per capita how many people are in Brooklyn and I found out for some reason there were more mental health professionals in Monsi don't ask me why there are some more clinics there and everything so that also told me because there are more people in the field more people talk about it so people are less stigmatized but what happened the last few years is how much everything changed explosion because different I think it happened that a lot of people went into the field there's many different funding from the government for these different programs and a lot of people a lot of organizations started because of it and also the fact that today you can read a Yiddish magazine and there are articles about this in the open and the interesting thing is that I hear people discussing these concepts and they're talking about it and people read books about these things and they're like wow and I'm sometimes in shock how people have so much knowledge about subjects that I think this changed a lot you touched on a very important thing it's over glorified sometimes and I'm not one of these people that think that therapy is the answer to everything absolutely not and like everything go for therapy, go for medication no, no, bachalnisht what I believe if you have an issue you have to figure out a way to deal with it there are many different ways of dealing with it and therapy is one of the ways one of the traditional ways it's not for every problem it's not for some people don't have severe problems but I always say just start by looking yourself in the mirror that's the whole point of going for help but the problem is that a person that has a mental problem when he looks in the mirror he's not the right judge to judge his condition and his deficiency now I don't want to say deficiency because I don't think that people that have mental issues are deficient people but I mean to say this process of deciding I have to gather myself and I have to deal with the fact and I have to deal with reality even this is likely affected these people are usually less ready to tackle difficult tasks in life obviously so I'm going back to the same question how what was the bridge that connected so many people to yes make the move and not stay like they used to stay in the dark area of themself and be closed and set about the situation condition and with certain bridge that brought them to be seen they don't have enough courage to do it on their own something really revolutionary happened here I'll tell you a story that happened a few weeks ago I want to illustrate a point I think that's going to answer some of the question so I was sitting in a group I lead a group of you know therapists, professionals once a week like a supervision group and we discuss things and we're sitting around talking and you know in the middle the group somebody comes in, somebody comes to the group every week and he walks into the conference room and he doesn't look right he's one of the members yeah one of the members in our group walks in he looks everybody looked at him like what's going on with this person looks like he's coming for one a whole night being up whatever anyways he's sitting in the group and we're asking him what's going on so he's telling me he had a difficult night like yesterday and I'm not going to say the details because you know to protect the privacy he had to help a family they went through a tremendous crisis and he was there for hours and he was very affected by it and we're sitting around the table all processing it and he was like very open and vulnerable and all of a sudden there's a member in the group who lost his father during Covid and he's processing his information there all of a sudden his trauma has come out this is the one part of the story the next day I sit in my office and I have a client that comes in and the client comes in for a different reason whatever reason is and he had a certain trauma in his own life that he once told me about but he never wanted to talk about it and whenever I try different ways to talk about it so so we talk about it so he brings up a certain news that happened that week that somebody passed away and it tells me so he tells me that we talk about this news and it's so sad and he tells me this is life and he goes further and I was like no let's take a second I want to tell you something that happened yesterday but a person I tell him the whole story, the whole experience I don't know why I told him basically I wanted to show him that everybody stays with their pain if you don't talk about it whatever it's normal to open and discuss it's healthy should this guy listen to me in the sits here and he thinks and all of a sudden he's talking about his own trauma and he started processing opening up and we had a couple of sessions afterwards this guy started opening up now it's not a dramatic story my point is that openness and vulnerability causes others to be open and vulnerable and everybody can see in their own interaction with other people if you're open if you're vulnerable the other person is comfortably vulnerable I think people in their essence know are desperate to talk about their issues and their feelings and whatever it's just the society around us has all these social norms what's normal to talk about what's not normal guardrails and if you see other people talk about it if you hear oh this is normal and it attracts people to be more open and more safe to talk about it a big part of the safety aspect if a person talks about their feelings and about their traumas in shul they're being stigmatized they're not going to talk about it people can feel that vibe if it becomes a normal thing in context it's not normal to talk about your traumas everywhere the opposite it's not only silly it's damaging because sometimes people almost have I don't say the wrong word but almost like an obsession about this they have to talk about they start opening up but I think the whole environment causes people to be more vulnerable and open it's really amazing that it became positive breathing new era new time in our life people become more comfortable to talk about these things there's a lot of help available out there 100% it's whatever causes it to happen the question always comes up people who are healthier once upon a time people try to say oh 20, 30 years ago nobody wants to help the answer is I don't know it doesn't matter the fact is this is the reality and people are desperate people are desperate for help to unload and the proof is in the pudding I challenge people call up any mental health professional unfortunately there's no one available they are waiting lists and people try and I encourage people to go into the field we need talented people to help people and the field is wide open to anyone with a heart and who could go through the process of wanting to learn and just really learn and grow welcome I'm not only welcome the field is desperate you talk to any of these referral agencies it's the known to send to I want to ask you about the progress we established the importance of people developing the comfort level to actually make the move today I need help, I want to be helped I'm ready to be helped I want to encourage our viewers and our listeners that maybe you can share a story of course without names and fingerprints to some people don't yet believe that the outcome can be so meaningful and so amazing so beneficial right I want to hear from you our audience wants to hear from you like we call it, let's talk Tachlis bottom line I was involved in a certain case and the person told me I need an expiration date I need to know how long this how long this case will become to success give me a time 2 months, 3 months, 10 sessions 8 sessions, I don't want to have open check I said it's not about the money so people still have doubts if there's a way to measure from point A to point Z or to somewhere in between maybe you can share a certain story and experience you had with a certain client to actually encourage people that yes there is a the sun the sun is out there we're almost reaching sunrise is almost upon us so what it's not an important question it's not a question it's a whole topic it's whole books written on the subject how even to know if it works but first of all I want to tell you go online you do any google search any company you're always going to find reviews most of the time who leaves reviews negative reviews a company does a lot of good marketing to get all the positive reviews as well but most of the time you find the negative reviews so people always say horror stories that person spent so much money and then they sat in therapy for 10 years you'll hear the horror stories and this is what people talk about and like every field there are professionals that are not doing a good job lawyers and whatever even doctors but the vast majority of people that go for help get help yet now it's complicated why I used to work for a clinic still there a secretary a very sweet lady somebody once called her in the phone and the mum they had like tannas they were arguing with her why is the therapy taking so long it's like a parent the child's therapy is taking so long and I overheard this lady saying mrs. so and so so how old is your son whatever it's 10 years it took you 10 years to create a problem it was a few months to solve the problem so no magic it's like anything in life it has to do with personal growth especially if we're talking about years of trauma or years of suffering from anxiety or whatever it is nothing will work fast and in fact if it works fast likely it's not going to work too good to be true it doesn't work when it comes to personal growth sometimes you see with medication things work fast but when we're talking about real therapy health a person who really wants to work with themself it's a process that's why people sometimes get very stuck on this why is it taking so long but the truth is it takes a lot of practice a lot of consistency to get to where you need to now the question you asked about people always want to know a time frame it's a very important question but the problem that is it's virtually impossible to give a time frame of this why? because there are so many factors components it has to do with not only the client even if the client will tell me exactly the problem of the first session it's never the case you see different layers different things and the causes and the environment right now and you know I just tell you I had recently come on give us something juicy no no I was just telling you an example I gave a lot of juicy stories I was about to finish up the therapy with the client and we're about to do what's called a closure session and the client basically quacks in saying you know my job from the last 10 years I was just fired today so and the whole story and this guy was like almost derailing he went through the process already so he was in a good place but you know that's a factor for example you know the thing is like something like this can you throw in the garbage no no no if they're very traumatized they're just barely finished a very delicate long process and suddenly they get such a bang on the head it's not like of course it's an individual it's an individual basis each story is difficult it's a lifelong process working on yourself is a lifelong process nobody gets healed you barely gonna hear healthy people have to constantly work on themselves and we all mental health not mental illness okay people sometimes we just use in general we all have our mental health we need to take care of ourselves and sometimes we have our days absolutely and by the way I always have a joke with people I could look into your mind you had in the last month you felt very down how do you know I don't know have a crystal ball the day that you fell down you had a little bit of depression you're not depressed it's not a diagnosis don't tell anybody I was anxious today about something for that few hours I had a little bit of anxiety that's not mental illness something like that happens consistently there's a mental system and it's operating operating it needs maintenance it needs food it needs gas and you know if you go a week in a row with very little sleep you will not be the same mentally I'm not saying you have mental illness but you'll be in anger everything everything will take you off just like we take care of our physical health we take care of mental health that's why it's very hard to quantify exactly a person comes in with an issue sometimes people come into therapy to have a certain anxiety that's easy to quantify let's make a goal and we work through that after a while how likely if you still have that anxiety that's very easy to see but we're talking about many instances a lot of events I see more and more now a lot of things are due to childhood trauma or previous traumas something that comes to trauma it shapes you what is really the measure of progress usually what we do is we go from to get you in a place where you're functional sometimes people are very functional physically from the outside but internally they're not functional even internally you're functional you can deal with it but that doesn't mean I still don't have flare ups things will trigger you eventually so so therapy is basically a process you go from dysfunctional to functional some people choose therapy longer than that some people sometimes it takes a few therapists to get to the point you need you go layer after layer sometimes you work with I sometimes work with people for a few weeks trying to figure out a problem once you get clear with the problem we can sort of come up with a plan what I think is the right thing and sometimes I feel there are other people that can do a better job certain traumas whatever it is or sometimes I'll give you an example some people often come to me about marriage so I don't do marriage couples therapy because it's in the field but it's not something I specialize I never put myself into it as fully but I work a lot of time with individuals in the context of marriage issues that affect your marriage so issues like connecting to other people sharing previous traumas not letting them to trust but sometimes it gets to a point where I feel like this is crossing over into working on your marriage our work is now finished let's go to couples therapist things yeah so you want to have a story about practice I can tell you because the reason I'm asking because I was very impressed you said before you had a closure session with someone we are about to have a closure session and let's talk to Achlas also soon and I still have to drive home but I'm very impressed to hear that a person can come to an achievement to a moment and say my dear friend we've been together three months or nine months or a year you and I both feel and believe that I've reached what I had to reach and to give a kiddish and to say wow I'm healed my foot was broken I had a cast for three months I made some physical therapy I can now walk like I did before and the relief must be into the high heavens so you want to hear something I can tell you so many stories but I'll tell you today today out of the oven still in the oven I don't know if it's a juicy story or not but you want to I finished with a client today so I'll tell you two things that happened today so number one there was a boy I'm going to change some details that went through some horrific trauma not to not to go into details and he started developing all these symptoms of going to sleep at night and he didn't want to go to Ishiva acting out at home etc so probably eight months ago he came to me parents came to me and we started working the good news is this child was very open he wanted to work and he wanted to share he cooperated extremely well and it's a beautiful work wasn't always so beautiful meaning there were some weeks I felt he's not working along I had to use a lot of creativity in different methods but in the last few weeks he's doing well he's doing well everything is working and I sat with parents so that doesn't mean this particular child maybe one day he's going to things will come up and we can work it's a process, that's life just give me one example another example I was getting married in a few weeks who came to me five, six years ago and I forgot about him almost like people make an impression someone it was a long time ago and he just wanted to thank me and I asked him what motivated to call me so I don't get this what was the thing so he told me that he heard a speech that I gave and he reminded himself come on what was it so he told me the story was when he came to me he was behaving he was in a very terrible matter and when he left when I finished with him it wasn't so successful at the time because I felt like I was burnt out with him already I got to a certain point with him and I suggested that to the parents you know let's try for a while to see how things will be without any help you know I considered that I went to 50% with him and he told me that after he finished with me that he started missing the days that he used to talk to me and he started realizing they had someone who cared for him and he was able to talk and I can't explain it but somehow this somehow gave me the energy to want to work further myself and he just didn't go for any help afterwards but the fact that this whole time we spent together a year plus I don't know how long it was gave him the strength to want to work himself further so he felt now that it's time to thank you and acknowledge that he arrived at this point he's getting married and he's doing very well so in other words at the time someone asked me was this successful this particular client I was like I don't know could have been better but I just want to bring out the point it's a process and it's not always predictable but it's very encouraging to hear that people can actually find themselves in a much closer and better place in life and I think that if we accomplish this goal tonight for people to evaluate does it usually should it be self driven or do parents or siblings have the right and the authority to guide the relative or the child towards therapy I'm not talking a young child at 12 year old or a young girl I'm talking if someone is 18 19, 24 year old and someone around them believes and thinks and is convinced they need help is it fair for these people to obviously in a nice and responsible and caring loving way is it the right thing to do to somehow slide them towards help or is it something that they can take personal and feel very very hurt from 100% may outdo the benefit of the treatment so this question we sometimes have to sit with families sometimes hours just to answer that question because it's so complicated because of course there's no one size fits all because in one hand you see someone suffering you know I said before success stories but sometimes people suffer and people really have a hard time going for help and sometimes it's not easy especially sometimes with this more severe issues they don't want to go and sometimes it burnt out for help also sometimes people there's image about them and they are perfect image happy and jolly deep inside there's the sufferer and the system is rotten so it's a delicate line because sometimes you when you approach a family member that you know we want you to go for help you know it can really really strain you know put a stain on the relationship and sometimes it's we have to repair exactly I know a whole family they got torn apart because the children sort of wanted as the father sort of forced the father to go for help and of course it didn't work and some kids went for the father it's not simple so my suggestion is always I want to finish it this interesting and deep session with a positive message to the world I know there is not one cookie cutter style to answer all the situations but I want to hear from you a concluding statement to bring out the benefits and hope and the belief that will outweigh some of the of the negative images and pre so I'll tell you this two weeks ago I gave a speech somewhere and I thought I'm giving a speech to a couple hundred people it was like a conference about mental health awareness and but I didn't know at the time that 20,000 people listened and it was put on a lot of different platforms on YouTube whatever and by today I heard close to 40-50,000 people already listened to that speech now where I'm saying that because during that speech I said something and I at the time I didn't know I was saying it to so many people I told all these people that I myself I'm going for years for therapy now people will say oh you go for therapy you're a therapist you have to go for supervision or whatever no I do that also for personal help for myself I go why because I've seen people always say oh you have to go because you hear so many problems no because I've seen one thing that my success in my life in every aspect of my life and I can go back to the day or the time period that it happened is a time when I started working on myself on my personal own inner work I was all of a sudden became not afraid to be vulnerable open let the guards down and that was a time everything switched for me even professionally in my work I was already working in the field for a long time quite a few years and I was doing sort of whatever looking back I was just working maybe helped some people maybe I hope so but I was working and that was a switch because when I started really as I said before look myself in the mirror I'm not saying this because I want to just advertise this and it's not something that it's usually heard by people but I'm saying this to say to people you know there's no magic to anything of this it's very simple we all went through life things and stuff some have more some have less if you went through life certain things or you are going through life right now certain things why suffer in silence why? there are people out there who can listen to you who can talk to you who can help you figure things out it's actually a strength to tell yourself because it's going to help you in your own life your own relationships again I'm not here selling therapy come to me no you're not giving out your number I don't know actually it's hard because I always get a lot of phone calls after I give things like this and it's hard to tell people I don't know what to tell you I don't remember what I can take talk to you we got a good blog now so I was saying that it's just figure out a way to get to someone do some research and it's going to help your life in many ways and the main thing is you got to stop suffering in silence these days that everybody that our family doesn't have problems I'm good I never had anything to do with these issues we all have it over you know we all have issues when I say issues on a mean we're messed up no we're normal healthy people who have issues and it's worthwhile to take care of it beautiful thank you so much for the encouraging ending and for the entire session that's an amazing opportunity for this podcast my pleasure I'm here to to make the world maybe a drop a better place and you definitely helped me do that thank you so much