 From the studios of WBBM in the great city of Chicago, the makers of Wrigley Spearman Chewing Gum invite you to enjoy Life with Luigi, a comedy show created by Cy Howard, directed by Mac Benhoff, and starring that celebrated actor, Mr. J. Carol Mash, with Alan Reed as Musk Bully. Friends, the makers of Wrigley Spearman Chewing Gum are glad to bring you Life with Luigi because they feel it's a friendly, good-natured show that offers you relaxation and enjoyment. And you know, Wrigley Spearman Chewing Gum offers you relaxation and enjoyment too. It's pleasant to chew on a smooth piece of Wrigley Spearman, whether you're working, shopping, listening to your radio, or doing just about anything. Wrigley Spearman Gum tastes good. It's refreshing, and the good, easy chewing gives you comfort and satisfaction. So chew Wrigley Spearman Gum often, every day. Millions enjoy it, and you will too. And now Wrigley Spearman Chewing Gum brings you Luigi as he writes another letter describing his adventures in America to his mama basco in Italy. Tonight, in my night school, the classes are gonna be all excited because Miss Spaulding is gonna announce the winner of our essay contest. I'm gonna hope to win the mama mayor because when I'm talking the English language, it's not so bad. When I'm gonna try to push it on the paper, I feel like it's trying to push you back. But a mama mayor, how I would love to win such a prize. The Alfred Luster got in the cup. That's a given once every year to the night school of pupil who's write the best composition and title. This is Chicago. I'm gonna try to my best to win. I went to the big library on East Washington Street to see if they got some book on Chicago. But isn't that the one book? Here's a thousand. I think I took home enough for books to start the basco branch over the public library. And all of this is giving me some good ideas which I'm wrote in my essay. And tonight in the school, Miss Spaulding is gonna tell us who's the winner. America, I love you. Do you like a papa to me? From the ocean to the ocean. Fellas, Miss Spaulding said yesterday she would announce the winner as soon as she comes in today. And you think you're gonna win a Halloween? I've got to be truthful and say yes. When it comes to writing English, you're looking at Hemingway Horowitz. Horowitz, don't be too cock sure. I wrote 23 pages about our great city in which I told about every street, every drive, every boulevard. Though what, I got a city map that does all that in one page. Quiet, fellas, here comes Miss Spaulding. Good evening, Clare. Good evening, Miss Spaulding. Miss Spaulding, please. Who ran the Chicago Contest? Here, who won at the place? It tell us y'all. My, you all look so nervous. Maybe everybody else is, but not me. No, then get your fingers out of the inkwell. No wonder I thought I was turning blue. Come on, Miss Spaulding, don't keep us in suspense. Stand right up, announce the lucky winner and let everybody start shaking my hand. That's right. Come on, please. Before I announce the winner, I would like to say I think you all did a wonderful job on those essays and I'm only sorry that I could not select more than one winner. But that winner's essay was so distinctively different, so uniquely outstanding. So really... Miss Spaulding, we are dying and you are filibustering. All right, all right. Class, the winner is Luigi Basko. Oh, wow! Me, Luigi. Congratulations. Oh, thank you, friends, thank you. Well, now, Miss Spaulding, I can relax. The contest is all over. Well, not yet, Mr. Basko. Your essay might be selected to represent our entire school. Oh, no. You can't tell. From there, it might go on to the district and then the city finals. Miss Spaulding, what are you saying is impossible. Well, we'll know soon enough, Mr. Basko. Miss Spaulding. Yes, Mr. Harley. I don't want to jinx Luigi by looking ahead. But what happens if he should win the finals? Well, then he would get the Alfred Lustgarten gold cup. Sure, and that's real gold, isn't it, Miss Spaulding? Yes. Such beautiful pawn shop bait. Miss Spaulding, I understand that the final winner will read his composition at a special ceremonial assembly in the Civic Auditorium. Is that true? Yes, that's right, Mr. Olsen. Miss Spaulding, you mean I'm going to have to read it in front of people? Uh-huh. So, wow, smile, Luigi. You know, Abraham Lincoln read his Get His Berg address in front of people? Not only didn't he get a cup, they didn't even give him a saucer. Well, I think it's all over anyway. If our principal had selected yours, Mr. Basko, he would have been here by now. Oh, yes. Luigi's Mr. Orth, the principal. Miss Spaulding, may I address the class? Why, of course, Mr. Orth. It's about the Chicago Essay contest. He didn't! Luigi didn't! For he's a Charlie Goodfell! Oh, for he's a Charlie Goodfell! Oh, for he's a Charlie Goodfell! Luigi did read Mr. Orth, huh? He did. No, no, no. For he's a Charlie Goodfell! Nobody can deny! Well, remember, for a minute, I thought I was going to have to switch to hearts on flour. So, Mr. Basko, you look confused. Aren't you happy about winning the school elimination? I'm very happy, Miss Spaulding. It's a very interesting piece of work, Mr. Basko, and I'm hoping it will at least get up to the district competition. I'm a hopper, sir, too, Miss Orton. I'm going to thank you very much. I wish you the best of luck. Good night, all. Good night, Miss Orth. Good night. I'm very proud of you, Mr. Basko. Thank you, Miss Spaulding. Very well written. Thank you. Excellently conceived. Thank you. But don't keep us in suspense! Read it already! Well, I'm sorry, class. Now, Mr. Basko, let's not keep the class waiting any longer. Here's your paper. Read your essay. All right. This is a Chicago by Luigi Basko. Remember me? All this has happened a week ago. Then, one morning, I was trying to sell a customer some antique. Is this really a genuine antique Boston rocking chair? Yes, it's a real Boston rocker. I'm on the telephone. I'm on the telephone. Hello? Mr. Basko? Yes, yes, it's a I. I mean, it's a Luigi Basko. Congratulations, Mr. Basko. You've just won the district competition. Mr. Basko, are you all right? No, Miss Spaulding. I think my tongue is a cut off. But, Mr. Basko, aren't you excited? Excited? Miss Spaulding, if I had to my way, all of the dimes would have dropped out of the phone book where you are, and you would have got them all. Mr. Basko, I'm so proud of you. Thank you. I'm starting to feel proud of myself, too. Well, now they're just the big city finals to worry about, Mr. Basko. We should know in a day or two. No, no, no, Miss Spaulding. That's all. I'm worn enough now. I'm satisfied. Well, anyway, I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you. Goodbye. Goodbye, and thank you. Mr. Basko, how much are you asking for that rock? Tell you what, anything you want. What? I'm so happy now. You're never the price I'm going to bargain you down. She my friend, Luigi, hello, hello. Miss Spaulding, it was wonderful that you should make me this little celebration party. Oh, is it nothing a little banana nose? Who else is it going to make you the foyer? After all, I brought you here from Italy, and if you get the President of the United States of some day, they've got to meet a blade. Mr. Basko, don't be surprised that Luigi wins the big prize, that gold lovin' cup. Oh, that would just stop that. No, there's too many spots of people in the Chicago schools. It is impossible I should have won the finals. Oh, don't say that, Luigi. You're going to win the Baker Lovin' Cup. And even if you don't... Even if I don't... Then I'm going to give you the cup when my roses are going to give you the lovin'. Oh, my God. Mr. Basko, where is Rosa? Well, you're tankin' the kitchen. I'm in the spaghetti. Cookin' it? You're crazy eatin' it. When I call her in, and then we all go to drink a toast to Luigi. Rosa! Rosa! Rosa! Yes, my little Cupid doll. Rosa, say, I hope you love a bug, Luigi. Luigi, you've got no idea how proud Rosa is about you. Even if you don't win the Baker Cup with your heart, you're still going to be the smartest, most legible of actually in America. Is that right, Rosa? Rosa! Thank you, thank you, Rosa. You're very sweet. You too, Luigi. All right, everybody. Let's drink a toast now to Luigi. Raise up the wine glasses, everybody. Your hair's to the final. Good luck. I, too, Luigi, may you find everything in America that you came to look for. But if it's a blonde, we're gonna help you a lot. Hello! Very powerful, my excellent customer. It's a fella from the Western Union. The Western Union? I got a telegram for Luigi Plasco. I didn't find him next door. Hey, that's it for me. And I here's a diamond for you. For thanks. Quick, open it, Mr. Basko. Luigi, why is that so pale? You mean that the method starts with the word, you're eating? And I said, from the Board of Education, that he says, I hear I'm a spoggin' unit. Dear Mr. Basko, your essay, This is Chicago, has been selected by our judges as the citywide prize winner. Hooray! Congratulations! Kindly be prepared to read your essay at special ceremonies to be held as a civic auditorium on November the 18th at 8.30 p.m. at which time Mr. Alfred Lustgarden will make the formal presentation of the annual Lustgarden Cup. Congratulations and best wishes A.C. Alworth, Chairman, Board of Education, Chicago, Illinois. I'm a wonder cup. I understand the mayor of Chicago will be at your reading. What? Yes, certainly. There'll be over 5,000 people in the hall. Have it as it appears. Don't stand there, everybody. Bring a pair of cold water. Luigi's a painter. Before we return to life with Luigi, here's a suggestion that means daily enjoyment for you. Wherever you go, whatever you do, be sure to have a package of delicious Wrigley's Spearmint chewing gum with you. It's always a treat to chew Wrigley's Spearmint because it tastes so good and because the chewing itself is so enjoyable. What's more, that good, lively chewing helps keep your spirits up, but monotony makes time pass more pleasantly. On the job or off the job, Wrigley's Spearmint gum gives you real chewing fun and satisfaction. So enjoy chewing Wrigley's Spearmint often, every day. Keep a package in your purse or pocket so that you can chew a stick whenever you want it. That's Wrigley's Spearmint chewing gum. Helpful, refreshing, delicious. Now let's turn to page 2 of Luigi Vasco's letter to his mother in Italy. Mamma mia! How proud you would be of your Luigi today. Imagine Mamma mia! Five thousand people, they're gonna listen to me! Luigi Vasco! A fellow who can't even speak English, right? Mamma mia! Luigi, my fellow boob! Hello, Schuss. Well, son, hello. Sounds more like a dachshund saying, I'll wiedersehen. Ah, why does that work, Luigi? Schuss, yeah? I'm speaking with a bad accent, huh? Also, that is what's murdering you. Is it a bad accent? No, Luigi, you are wrong. You got it a foreign accent. I got it a foreign accent. I mean, for the short time you are in America, Luigi. Why, you speak a beautiful English. Schuss, please, don't fool me. No, Luigi, believe me, if I didn't know you come from Italy, I would swear you was born in Boston. No, Schuss, please, please, it doesn't mix me up. I know I'm a speaker with an accent. Oh, so what, Luigi? You get to cheer up and stop whirring over every little thing. No, Schmeil! In America, nobody cares how you speak. It's what you say that comes. Yeah, but Schuss, I'm gonna talk in front of five thousand Americans. I'm gonna tell them all about that with my beautiful Italian accent. So what, everybody knows America is a big melting pot. Some of us have already melted and fellas like you, they just started to cook. That's all. You have Schuss, but Schuss, tell me what I should do. I feel so terrible. Schmeil, Luigi, you got nothing to worry about. Believe me, now promise me you're gonna forget all your crazy worries and relax until tomorrow night. All right, Schuss. Now, show the teeth. Come on, Schmeil for Schuss. Oh, wonderful, Luigi. Well, I got to go now, but Schmeil, Luigi, be like me, huh? Always happy, always lovey. Oh! My rheumatism is killing me. Come on with me, I'm not gonna worry. I mean, I am not going to take my mummy on. Hello, Mr. Chicago. Isn't that the shorts I just saw leaving? Yeah, Pascal, he's trying to cheer me up because, well, I'm feeling a little nervous. Oh, that's a nice thing, Luigi. Just to suffer from a little case of stage fright. That's all. Stage fright? What to do, Pascal? That's the way you feel when they call you name. You walk up with the microphone, but your stomach, it don't walk with you. Come on, mummy. Well, that's not gonna happen to you. I don't think it's in your mind. Look, Luigi, just tell yourself, I ain't afraid that these are 10,000 of people. I ain't... 10,000? I thought it was a 5,000. Luigi, with the man, all those big shots there, they could have 100,000. 100,000? Pascal, I'm not gonna... I mean, I am not going to... What's the matter, Luigi? You're starting to stutter? Pascal, I'm not studying. I mean, I am not studying. I'm just trying to talk English. I'm just trying to talk. Well, I'm gonna freeze up, drop my peppers and shake my hands and make them my spiritual Italian. Luigi, where do you get all these crazy ideas? There's no crazy ideas. I'm trying the best... I mean, I am trying... the... Easy Pascal, when I try to say... the... it comes out of the... the... It's a what? That's the same thing with the man. Pascal, I said, no, it's gonna be funny. I just can't talk. The... The... That is an improvement. Let me say it. No, no, your tongue was the same size it always was. That's what I thought. But, hey, Pascal, maybe they got some special teachers in Chicago who could take away my accent by tomorrow night. Take away your accent by tomorrow night, eh? No, sure, that's a simple thing. Maybe we even slip from a few extra bucks and he's gonna take out your appendix, too. Look, Luigi... No, Pascal, maybe we look up in the telephone book and find some... some speech teacher, huh? At least they could do... is it helped me a little? Luigi, take my advice. No, Pascal, please. No, all right. Look, could only one bigger favor. What, Pascal? Next time you enter a contest, try to lose, eh? You say you saw my advertisement in the classified telephone directly. Yes, it's a say. H. L. went toward speech correction. Yeah, yeah. And you want me to remove your accent by tomorrow night? Yes, please. Well, I might be able to give you a few pointers, Mr. Basko, but don't expect miracles. All right, maybe. Hats are gonna be better than a nothing. Ah, ah, ah, ah. Not... not that, sir, Mr. Basko. Just say thatch. Just thatch? Not that, sir? No, no, no. Remember, that's a step in the right direction. How you just said it? Said what? That's a... I said that's a step. How you said it again? Mr. Basko, in that case, I'm allowed to say it. Why, because you was a boy in America? No, not at all. Because in my sentence, A is an indefinite article and belongs, but not in your sentence. A is merely thrown in. It serves no function in the sentence and does not belong. Is that clear? No. Can I say, if I'm a user that's that, it's not good, but if a user that's that, it's a good the way. Mr. Basko, don't say... please, don't say I'm. Just I'm. You? No, I say I use, not I'ma use. I use. Of course, correct. For instance, you don't say he or you use, do you? I shouldn't have to. I'ma say he's a user. Mr. Basko, if you would only think before you speak, I think we might be able to rid you of your worst speech defect. And just remember not to throw an A into a sentence where it does not belong. All right. Now, please repeat this sentence after me. He went to a party. No, no, no, you're not going to make that. Mr. Basko, in that sentence, the word he belongs. Huh? He went to a party. Now, she went to a party. They went to a party. Now, if you went to the party, what would you say? I'm going to say thank you for inviting me. No. And you don't say I'ma. That's a no good. That's a no good. Good heavens, now he's got me talking with an accent. We have just heard the Eggmount Overture by Beethoven played by our own Chicago Civic Orchestra. And now, ladies and gentlemen, with great pride and privilege, the mayor. Mr. Basko, what's the matter? I'm, I'm, I'm, I can't speak it. What? What are you saying? You, you, you're going to speak it for me. Mr. Basko, snap out of it. You hear me? I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm going to speak it. It is, it's impossible. Come in a minute. You've got to speak, Mr. Basko. I, I, I can't. Goodness. Ladies and gentlemen, and honored guests. It's a pleasure for me to come here each year and hear the prize winner of our Citywide Night School Essay Contest. So now, without further ado, I present the man responsible for this annual award, one of Chicago's most distinguished philanthropists, and a great humanitarian, Alfred Lussberg. How do you feel now? How do you feel now? Can't, can't, can't speak it. Dear friends, members of the Board of Education, students of the Chicago Night School, and your honor, the mayor. Mama Mayor, he talks with an accent. Only 28 short years ago, I came to this wonderful country and received my education in the night schools of Chicago. He's a talk with an accent too, Mr. Basko. What? He's like me, just like me. And since then, the city of Chicago has been very close to my heart. It gives me great pleasure now to introduce the principal speaker of the evening, the man who will read us his prize-winning essay An Immigrant Like Myself from Ms. Boarding's Night School Class North Heartstead Street Branch, Mr. Luigi Basko. He's really waiting. He talks with an accent. Friends, Mr. Mayor, Joanna, and the man who's giving me great confidence, Mr. Lustigate. I'm going to now read my essay, which I like to dedicate to my teacher, Ms. Boarding, and which I'm right in the form of a poem because the poetry is beautiful and serves my town. This is Chicago. I have read many books in America because I come from far and ashore. I've wished to learn, and it's only time to give back what I get and more. And on many pages of these books, the great city of Chicago is shown. The history, buildings, the streets and the parks, but not the Chicago I've known. Sure, Chicago is the home of the Middle West's greatest meeting, packing center ever seen. Railroad terminal is in heart of the world, and it sits by the lake like a queen. The greatest convention city in 40 states, the wriggly building known all over the world. But all of these things when you read from the page is like seeing a flag at Sunford. For these things it's true, they're great. They represent only things made by men. And though I love and respect and honor them all I would like to make you feel Chicago if I can. Chicago is a sound, the whistle brave and free. And men are working and sweating and you can see they are proud. Very proud as they hammer in a pound under animals, run the trains and store the wheat. Chicago is a heart and it beats for a democracy. It is a song that sings that come to me. I open my arms back into you all no matter from where you come nor who you are nor how you think I will take all of you and blend you and make you think through however hopeful for I am the city that is old and wise and the young and the sweet and I will cherish your experiments and your ideas full with the freedom speaking for America clear and new and brave. This is Chicago to me. I open my arms back into you all no matter from where you come nor who you are nor how you think I will take all of you and blend you and make you think through however hopeful for I am the city that is old and wise and the city that is old and wise and the city that is old and brave and brave and the city that is old and wise and the city that is old and wise and the city that is old and wise and the city that is old and wise and the city that is old and wise and the city that is old and wise and the city that is old and wise and the city that is old and wise and the city that is old and wise and the city that is old and wise and the city that is old and wise and the city that is old and wise and the city that is old and wise and the city that is old and wise the veterans of foreign war it's indeed a great pleasure to accept this award for myself and all those connected with life with Luigi and I assure you we shall always try to continue to live up to this award of merit which you have so graciously bestowed upon us and thanks so much again. The makers of Brigley's Spearman chewing gum invite you to be sure to listen again next week at the same time when Luigi Basco writes another letter to his mama Basco in Italy. Life with Luigi is a Psy Howard production Pat Burton is associate producer, script written by Mack Benoff and Lou Derman and directed by Mr. Benoff. Jay Carol Nash is starred as Luigi Basco with Alan Regis Pascuali, Hans Conrader Schultz, Jody Gilbert is Rosa, marriage ship is Miss Falling, Joe Forte is Horowitz, Ken Peters is Olson. Music under the direction of C.C. Piccolo, Jim Conrad speaking this is the CDS radio network.