 It's so stupid it's positively brilliant Cholamine to God Andrew Sheldon we are the brilliant idiots and uh, we don't have any pre-rolls this week Got a couple mid rolls though. Damn Chris that fucking huh Chris now Yes, New Orleans. All right, I'll be there this Saturday. Can't wait. I love New Orleans, man Joy theater grab your tickets the age of shows calm after that I'll be in Atlanta all the show sold out. So thank you so much. And as Sunday The following Sunday, I think it's the 25th I'll be in Alabama for the first time. I'm really excited to perform the star dome out there the age of shows calm for tickets We got Tempe after that Hawaii after that go the Andrew shows calm get it. All right. Let's start the show. Where do we begin? Bro, I don't know. We had a spicy little debate before but probably best to keep that in a group talk about it We're talking about the the Democratic debate from last night. Yeah, that was it I It seems to me like we're about to have a conversation about the Democratic debate I I just want to let you guys know in brilliant idiot fashion. Yes. I Neither of us have seen the Democratic Literally was bored. Okay. I watched some of it. I watched like I watched Twitter. I saw the first 25 minutes I think I actually went to sleep after the Elizabeth Warren Bernie Sanders Exchange right when they asked Bernie Allegedly, which we can talk about so corn was the actual question. They asked Bernie They say Bernie told Elizabeth that he asked Bernie. They go. Did you tell Elizabeth Warren that a woman can't be present? He goes Okay, and then They go Elizabeth Warren How did you feel when Bernie Sanders told you that a woman can't be president? You fucking morally bankrupt Piece of shit seeing that Taylor gang will insert that but I want to go back to the original point If a man in America says he doesn't think America's ready to vote for a woman president or he doesn't think a woman can't be president That's not an indictment of that man. That's an indictment of America It's the same thing when people used to say they don't think they don't think America will vote for a black president Right, I don't think America will vote for a gay president Because the large portion of America has always been racist our large portion of America has always been homophobic Right, our large portion of America has always been sexist So even if Bernie Sanders did say that I don't think he was saying that because he was being sexist or misogynistic or chauvinistic I think it was an indictment on America an indictment on America. How do we know that Elizabeth Warren is a woman? How do we know I mean for so long she's claimed to be other things and then realize that she wasn't so Maybe for all this time she's been claiming to be a woman because it benefited her but right when Yeah, what if her name is really Warren Elizabeth? That's probably who she is 100% white English man Warren Elizabeth Okay, say again. Oh, she got kids. We haven't seen one. She got a dog. She got a golden retriever I'm gonna be a white man's favorite dog. Yeah. Okay. She's from Massachusetts. I'm pretty sure there's only men from there She's definitely a woman. I've never met a woman from Massachusetts. I think it's only men I didn't like her other point. She has kids. How many kids a daughter and a son a daughter and a son So she got a woman pregnant and they had those kids Let's be honest here. I think what okay, so tell me why you don't like Elizabeth Warren cuz I think I know when you Don't like somebody tell me why you're shooting. I don't like men Okay No, to be honest, I don't like Elizabeth Warren for the same reason I love Bernie Sanders I don't even agree with Bernie Sanders pot like and I like his politics his economic policy No, I think that he'd be horrible geopolitically like I don't want Bernie Sanders to handle the Iran situation at all But I truly believe that he wants to help and you think he's honest and authentic I think he's honest and authentic So I would rather a good person an honest person an authentic person over someone who is a lying Sack of shit, which is Elizabeth Warren. I think she is a truly dishonest Lying person a lot of people from Massachusetts feel that way I clicked on the hashtag never warned this morning and that's what a lot of people were saying They were saying that they just feel like she constantly lies and will do anything to get ahead politically And she throws people under the bus like because they were talking about she didn't shake Bernie Sanders hand last night I'm gonna shake another man's hand like that. I mean you got a Bernie is a thing Bernie can't be pussy in this situation either and what I mean by that is I understand we're friends But we're all competing for this Democratic nomination. Yes, like there's no friends right now There's no permanent friends are enemies in this situation things are gonna be said Things are going to be done because people are trying to get ahead. You're right I would like I would like Bernie to have a little bit more smoke in general. I'd like him to be a little bit more I know he's comes across as angry and he's always like upset, but I would like her much in a yes. Yes, and But I would like him to be I guess a little bit more aggressive because sometimes you need to be aggressive sometimes you need to be assertive, you know and That's an ain't gonna work when Trump is gonna try to bully you and I mean listen and Trump's never been bullied That's the thing like like I was talking my boys about this like with Trump, right? It's like Trump was part of the group We would bully that guy so much like he couldn't take it And I say this is someone who and I say this is I often defend you say this is a bully But you're a bully with jokes. It's different. I don't call it bullying bullying has such a You bully the people you that you are your friends that you love right fuck with him We fuck with him hypothetically speaking Trump is in our crew. You don't think that we're poking his belly every guy Up his hair every do you think we're wiping his fucking makeup of his face every guy So what this shows you how fucking pussy these politicians are how fucking pussy that you can't even come at this guy I'm texting him the Trump sandwich meme. That's it You know what I mean like what are the Trump sandwiches white bread full of bologna with a little pickle? Russian dressing That's all I'm saying like these guys you can go it's so easy to go this guy And I say this someone who's complete practical and pragmatic I think that he handled the Iran situation beautifully. I really think it and if you look at where we are right now with it Iran is quiet. They did some phony ass bomb of a base. They're so fucking petrified They shot another plane out of the sky rest in peace the people who died there, but that's what happened I mean, listen if I had this if I had to grade the Iran situation based off everything that's out there You would have to kind of give him a a only because there was no casualties on the American side No casualties on the American side We took out a really bad guy on the other side and they're completely fucking freaked out, right? The so I say this is someone who's very practical You need to be a little bit more tough if you're gonna do this. Yes, you need to be a little bit more tough like Yo Bernie you're running for president, bro The language of politics has changed so much because of Trump Yes, and if you notice one thing that America likes it's toughness that don't matter now Yo, that's why a lot of people like Senator Kamala Harris because whether you agree with her disagree with her You knew she was tough if you put burning and this might not ever work But if you put Bernie with Kamala Harris like at least we know there's someone who's tough Who's not gonna give a shit who's gonna come through and there's gonna be something assertive about it And I think that it might comfort people just like when Barack Obama ran and they had Biden like all these white folks You're like, ooh a guy who kind of looks like my uncle I'll go with that and I mean listen even with a Send in a warrant. Yeah, it's a party you kind of got to like the cutthroatness. What cutthroatness I'm not gonna shake your hand But no if your people if your people leaked that story Which Bernie is saying is completely false Right, but you leak it and it just puts a enough of a little I mean, it's not a bad tactic I'll say that I'll give you this she is willing in the same vein as like Hillary Clinton She is willing to do anything lie steal kill to get power. So I Was tough too. They wish Hillary was Oh, Hillary would have bombed around Parking a lot right now if it was Hillary Clinton, that's it Don't play around. So maybe she's cut from the same cloth in that regard 100% But I can see right through her like I can see how phony that person I know a phony when I see a politician like that. I'm more. I'm more That's why you got to look for the Ryan secrets Ryan secrets does the most phony things authentically and you're like, holy shit You are good. You really care about you pretend to care about this. You are fucking exceptional I rise authentic If he is or if he isn't he's so great at what he does he's he's good at being him He is who he is like I think you're when you're with Ryan Off-air. Yeah, it's not like he's some Cursing fuck you. You know what I'm saying like Maybe he is with his close-close circle, but with you you buy and I've caught Ryan some very intimate moments Just coming from the gym like yeah, and it's cool. Oh, you know, I mean, yeah, he's he's not he's not Criticism I meant in terms of like he strikes me as authentic in and he does some of the most inauthentic things like hosting is such a hard thing It's inauthentic to host and when he does it. I don't care. What the fuck he's hosting. You're like, man, this is professional It's a job. Yeah, that's the difference hosting of the job when you got that microphone in your hand and you're reading that prompt That's your job. Yeah, you know what I'm saying most people aren't good at it Can we know? Yeah, you're right. So I need somebody who can do it in a way that's believable You know, I don't know and why was nobody talking about this Yang guy Yang was first of all, let's be clear. Yeah, the DNC is already Yang is done. They don't care. The DNC is making sure Yang is done You will not see I doubt you'll see Yang in any more debates only really because the DNC changes the qualifications for every single debate So They change it for every debate. So every debate you have to have I think it's a new set of donors and something else But that's why that's why Yang wasn't in this debate. That's right Bloomberg You can only enter the debate if you accept donations and Bloomberg isn't in the debate because he's funding himself My concern is like with Bloomberg. What's your think? What's your thoughts on Bloomberg? I don't I don't have a theory on Bloomberg to me. Bloomberg is just another billionaire like you know what I'm saying? I don't know if billionaires have the the the mindset to run America bro, like I just really don't like How can we relate to billionaires? How can billionaires relate to us? You know what I'm saying? Like I think a billionaire has to really really really really really come down to the level Yeah, to the ground like really really to the ground to understand how bad things could possibly be in America Like you you've been too high on the hog for too long. I just don't think that a A billionaire can relate did you think he did a good job in New York when he was mayor? um depends you know what I'm saying because Stopping first policy was terrible for people that look like me, right? Was that I thought that was uh, uh, Bloomberg was stopping first Really? Yeah, we're stopping first. I mean, but you know, that's like asking was juliana good for new york Clearly. Yeah, right Yeah, and like crying as far as cleaning up new york city, but if you're in the mafia, you're like, no Like I just I just don't know if Like even with tom stye any of those guys, I just don't know how much billionaires can relate To what's going on in motherfucking America, bro Like you literally got I think what 40 40 something percent of people are one paycheck away from being in poverty. Like yeah, boy How does a billionaire relate? Yeah, I mean, maybe there's a chance that you know, they were at one point that way and they still have empathy I mean, I think there's something that is admirable about someone who's built up Like the job of president. I imagine would be a lot about hiring Um talented people to make a country be successful and you can't be a billionaire As someone who's trying to scale up a business myself. I realize you cannot scale up without talent around you You gotta have a team you have to have a team of exceptional people around you. So these billionaires They know how important hiring is and they know how important HR is and maybe they'll hire the right people for the jobs You make a good point because even when I look at the democratic candidates now, there's nobody that I I'm absolutely in love with Yeah, that's what you there's probably nobody. I even like I like man Pete. You know what I mean? But there's no I don't think there's nobody I even really like Bernie Bernie, I like Bernie, you know, but I'm really looking at who is their running mate gonna be You know, who's who's the team around them? Like that's that's what I'm looking at for all of them right now That's what's gonna make me actually Be energized to go vote in the primaries and vote in the general election. Who do these people have around? Right now Bernie to me has the best people around him Yeah, because he has Senator Nina Turner, you know, I'm saying because he has you know killer Mike Like he has those people that I that I trust he has other people that you believe you want to help Yeah, Omar like these are people that I know at least Know what's going on. I'm skeptical of AOC on the ground level. Why do you say that? I just don't think she understands math What do you mean? I just don't I think she truly doesn't understand how math works. Break it down So she didn't want amazon to come to new york, right? Because why are you giving this people? Why are you giving these people a tax breaks? What are you gonna do, etc? Right? The money is gonna get taxed regardless, right? I think the idea with big business is and I could be wrong somebody listening. Please correct me if it's right Let's say a business comes in and it hires 10,000 people Let's say you charge that business zero dollars in tax, right? So then they can hire 20,000 people, right? They're gonna pay all those employees that are working for the business Who are then gonna get taxed? And then the state Will make the money based on the taxation of the employees, which is now double Because the business not going to get taxed. So the state still gets its money And twice as many people get to work or a third more people get to work because You're not taxing the business at that level. How many people would get provided like, you know, just Federal aid if amazon was actually getting taxed for real for real But what do people want at the end of the day? I think people don't want to be given money I think they want to earn their money. I think they want opportunity I think that I think that I think at the end of the day people have a lot of pride and like Given that they have the opportunity to like work hard and and and earn their money They want to do it But given they're in a situation where they work hard and they can't even afford to feed their family They're like, well, fuck it. I'll just take the free money. Tell me if I'm wrong But doesn't that tax money go to like, you know, disabilities and social security and shit like that like what the pensions and It's the tax money. I'm saying it's the tax money the same tax money you get taxed by Ihar That's what I'm saying. Doesn't that tax money go to like we pay federal tax pay state tax Yeah, and doesn't that go to like federal funded government shit like I think it goes to everything and pensions. I think it's everything I think it's well spent. I think it's roads and it's police. It's firemen I think it goes across all of it, right all I'm saying is the money is going to get to the government regardless I think amazon should be taxed, but I'm only saying that till I build my billion-dollar business and I'm gonna And then you don't want to be Yeah Let me throw this idea out at you. You tell me if this under if you don't want to pay as little taxes as possible Anybody that tells you otherwise is a fucking lie. Did you pay this year yet? I just saw it. I'm paying this year Yeah, I paid Let me let me ask you okay. Tell me if I'm making sense here When Bezos Divorced his wife and maybe that's a bad example, but when you see these like rich people divorce their wife, right? And the wife gets half Right Most people the reaction is whoa half is too much I mean eddie murphy had that great joke about how is she gonna get half of the money? Like how the hell could you give her half the money, right? Most people will side with the guy. Why does she deserve half the money, right or the husband, right? But when a rich person goes Well, I don't want to give half my money to the government every year in taxes people go you greedy motherfuckers How dare you you greedy piece of shit? We don't even got to say rich Nobody wants to give half their money to the government when I used to work at demo in the mall I was looking at my checks saying who the fuck is fiker Like why the fuck do I got to give fuck at my money? Nobody wants to give half of their money to the government for whatever reason We shit all over rich people when they have to give half But we support husbands when they don't get half to the wife and my feeling about that is Doesn't the wife deserve it more than the government the wife gave you children Looked out for your children breastfed your children raised your children Fucked when you went when you were broke. It's like that's hard to do. Shit girl. Hard to fuck a broke man Ain't it tail hit that fucking freeway Right, why you think tail of blood vessels in our eye pops right after the fucking holiday break Smell motherfuckers buy me shit. I'm still with this man. I love him that fucking pressure made her fucking blood vessels in her eyes pop Really you did was it some contacts? Gift you get what I'm saying right broke it would have been gifts No, I listen nobody wants to pay having taxes. It's just When I see amazon and they're not paying any taxes you jealous I'm upset, but I'm only upset because I know Don't tax me didn't know that they're making plenty money. They're not gonna miss this shit You know, I'm saying the dude working that motherfucking Subway ain't gonna miss it. He's gonna miss that have let him keep his money and tax the big dogs like that That's it. That's that's so yeah, I understand. I don't know the why doesn't he understand math though Because that was the math I just explained like the money's gonna get to the government anyway But here she is you know blocking 20 000 potential jobs who would all pay taxes and that money goes to the government I would have to see how I would have to see how that weighs out like okay. Yes, I want my amazon packages today Yeah, but 20 000 potential jobs no doubt But I would like to see because I read something before it is showed If amazon was to pay a certain amount of tax How much money that would put into the economy to people who need it Right, but when it's put into the economy the economy, right? And I'm not I'm not one of these fucking like libertarians or even like super conservatives Is like knocking the government but we all know that the government doesn't spend money very efficiently And that's that's what they need to show us right right they need to show us Where the fuck this tax money is going so here so my issue with someone like her is she's like Give the government all the money the government will spend it. It's like well the government sucks at spending money Right like the mta is broke It has no competition in new york or shitty. It has no competition. There's one There's fucking one train. You have to take it. You have to take it. You still losing money. How is that possible? Yeah, you're not efficient with spending money So it's like I would rather give that money to the employees I'd rather you employ more people give that money to the employees let more people work for your company Right have let them have jobs where they're earning fucking money And then they'll pay taxes on the earnings that they make and then that money goes to the government If it's less good figure that shit out. Yeah, but at least the people can spend their money when they want Yeah Wouldn't you rather people work them for their money than being given it? What if we could come to an agreement of Which we all want just being tax less Because your five percent of amazon is still a big-ass bankroll Five percent of amazon is still a big-ass motherfucking bankroll apple holding all their money overseas They're not bringing that money over here. We don't say shit because we want the new phone Yeah, maybe yeah, maybe it's just maybe it's just a thing of percentages like instead of like Hitting me for half hit me for some You know, I mean, let me let me let me give a little five percent. Maybe maybe that should be the cost Of being a billionaire. Okay. Go talk about it. This is interesting. Go the richer all of us get right lawyer get 10% Managers get 10% your agent gets a percentage and you don't really miss it because you got so much coming in But then you see it When then you see how many you know and you know exactly where it's going So maybe that's what some of these big companies need like yo, maybe it should be a tax that goes specifically To certain things like I don't just want to give my money to the government I want to know where the government is spending my money If you're showing me these families that are on Government assistance and my tax dollars are going to helping them eat off My tax dollars are actually going to put people through school. I'm cool with that That's it. But just when you just like fiker here, let me get that Stop with the fiker here. You know your state. Let me get that but the roads are shitty Garbage all over the motherfucking street. You know, I mean what's going on something's going on something's got to go Cops ain't cops ain't the richest teachers aren't the richest All the government employees not making any money, but we giving all money to the government That's what I'm saying. I just want to know what the bread going I think it's a completely reasonable thing and if it is going to oh, we got to build submarines and shit Well, I want to name the submarine USS dick talk We coming to fuck you I What if we did a cartoon where the brilliant idiots are in the military? We're in the fucking navy and we have our own submarine called USS dick talk the USS And we let the missiles fly Dicks little pumps that they smoke in dicks. We hitting countries with dick. Let's go Shit, I ran the shit You ran but you can't swim We're in the submarine that's in the water. Yeah, but um Yeah, I don't give a fuck no more I mean, I was with you. I don't I don't even care. I watched I realized that last night with the democratic debates I don't give a fuck i'ma watch i'ma look at who the people's running mates are who their team is And that's what i'm fucking winning 2020 I just don't I just I think trump wins this year by a landslide I think you don't listen to me. I'm a dallas cowboy fan. I've been saying we're going to sue bull for the past 20 years I think you're right And I think honestly the way that you beat trump is you have someone with the same assertiveness the same confidence The same political strategies more or less only one democrat can beat trump bro. Who's that bull worth Bull worth could do it. Bull worth could absolutely fuck trump Some of the young people listen right now. You might not know about the uh Warren baity movie google bull. Or if matter of fact not even the young people some of you presidential candidates on the Dem side need to go to war and y'all need to take shit out of his playbook son If you had someone that did everything that trump is doing outside of like the the this The the civil rights rhetoric that we all don't agree with right, but if you had them that are you know Leading with strengths of service service But instead of divisiveness They led with and this might sound corny, but I do believe it. They led with love Set of divisiveness. They led with love same strength Same assertiveness same political strategies, but literally with love. Hey, we're all coming here together This we're all part of this. I think barack was kind of like that rock wise people think barack was so left-leaning Barak was a moderate like a motherfucker barack in the middle east how left-leaning barak was Okay, a lot of dust out there now. Yeah, so even that the the hbc you build at um Trump just reinstated it was one year barack Didn't he didn't he didn't push it through Yeah, right so I just think that there is room for that type of leader and I don't know if any of these guys will do it but If you lead with that if you lead with love you're gonna bring people together We just want to be safe and we want to be secure and I think a lot of people run to the easiest form of safety and security Right, they run to the mob boss who's like, okay Well, at least no one will hurt me because this guy's real tough But when someone comes around who's safe and secure but also want to look out for you. Yeah, it's like, okay We're fucking with 2020 though Bernie, I mean if if bernie gets there you voted for bernie in the primary last time. Yeah, I He's good. He's truly good. He's truly fucking good Um I can't sit here and act like ageism doesn't play a role But ain't trump just as old or something. Hey, but bernie. He don't he don't act like it. But bernie looks old Yeah, you look all that old living in vermont. He looks like he Don't he live in vermont or something like that? He looks like he was sleeping at the point He looks like he's sleeping until he's asked the question son He really does like you ever miss or you don't you're not married. Well, I laugh You know, you ever be talking to your your kids and your kids be talking to you You're like, yeah This is how daddy issues start daddy, huh? Yeah You know me like you like you're really asleep at the wheel until it's time to not be asleep at the wheel Yeah, you know go to go to your daughter's cheerleading competition. Yeah Tell me that you not sleep. Yeah, but boy when she asked you did you see her? It was great when you was your favorite part When you want to like that But it's the truth. You know what I mean? So you you're up when you're up So when it's time to get out the question you go you there, but when you not you're not asleep That's it. Simple as that. Maybe he's relatable I'm not that old maybe you just said you can't get it through a little girl cheerleading result. Yeah, but that's cheerleading That's only what do they do if there's no sports? How do they what are they so excited for who during a cheerleading competition cheerleading is definitely a sport No, no meaning like I get the cheerleading when there's a sport you're cheering for but like What are they cheering for when there's no sport? It's competition. Yeah, but like what are you excited about? What do they yell let's go nobody? They're doing their routines. It's a routine. It's like a dance routine. Yeah, but the whole point of it Right I'm making sense here the whole point of it the whole point of it is to support the sport So if you remove the sport, why are you so excited? No, no, no, that's that's just one aspect of cheering Right the other aspect of cheering is competition. So they actually do Routines it's like it's actually really dope. So it's dancing. You seem bring it on. It's not dancing It's like flipping and it is it's like dancing flipping. It's like gymnastics. It's a little bit everything like maybe they get busy They do stunts where they're stacking on top of each other like it's yeah, it's actually very interesting I just confused about that. It's it's just it seems odd to just get a ladder I Just don't get it. I I've watched it. I'm not I'm not trying to be critical of it. I just don't get it like I You still bring it on say again. You saw bring it on Maybe pieces watch bring it on. Yeah, maybe pieces of it. I just I get that we can be competitive about dumb shit Don't get me wrong, right? But like I don't understand I don't understand the urge. I feel like it's good marketing I feel like we told girls ever since they're young like the hot girls are the cheerleaders Like that's how it was in sitcoms and movies and tv shows So girls are like well if I want to be hot I should cheer And then they're doing this thing where they're climbing on top of each other for no reason Oh, no, you got if you watch it if you actually watch a cheerleading competition You would have respect for it. It's it's like you just told me you fall asleep through the whole thing And you're personally invested your It don't get any more than you she's at the top of a tower. She could fall down I will say this it's exciting when my daughter does it Everybody else. I don't give a fuck about you. God bless you. I respect it though Are you waiting for the falls is like NASCAR where you're like, it's not like a bombing on a comedy show It's not the same because those little girls really be hurting themselves. So it's painful, you know, I mean When you watch somebody bomb in a comedy show, it's just like it's just your emotions their spirit is bruised Like they be like like it's more injuries and cheerleading than it is in football now. We're talking No, that it's like that's a fact. It's more injuries and cheerleading like my my daughter has already had like a Broken foot and a a fracture in her knee Really? Yeah, absolutely. And you let her keep doing this thing. She loves it But at least with football you could be a millionaire. Yeah, but is that worth cte? Yeah, that worth being a antonio brown Dude antonio brown 20 something years old everybody laughing at antonio brown Bro antonio brown ain't all that he's not on it's clear He is not all and it's like, yo, you don't know if it's cte You don't know if it's he had other mental health issues that he never got a handle on like it's really Not funny. Yeah, you know, I mean, it's funny. What was funny? I'm gonna say what's funny It's both. It's both. I'm listening to the story this week. I'm listening to I'm listening to you know People talk about the story. Angela. He was doing in our room report and yeah, like you do a Like do a bag of dick set. It's not a rumor. There's a video. It's a video. Yeah I Do a bag of dicks to the woman and uh, you know, just cursing around and I'm everybody. Yeah. Yeah, I can't believe he was cursing I'm like Nobody wondered where he just got a bag of dicks. Thank you Thank this guy ordered multiple dicks on amazon. Thanks aoc That that that he threw at a girl like fuck the curse I understand the cursing and in front of the kids and all that. Yeah, that's bad But just who walks around with a bag of candy dicks. Oh, they were candy dicks Yes, what you thought they were I thought they're like he bought a 12 pack of dildos human organs Real dicks Jesus it was candy dick. I actually looked up the website. It's uh dick spot mail. Okay It's dick spot. No, seriously dick spot males.com. Okay, and you can order a bag of candy dicks I'm getting I'm getting everybody in this office. That's a man who want me to me a bag of candy dicks Um Don't bother already got him. You already got him I'm getting in for some I'm getting Elvis. I'm just letting y'all know now valentine's day You will be receiving a bag of candy dicks. Can I choose the candy from the nard? I think they're like gummy bears Google it google it. Oh, that's weird because you got to like chew and suck on google candy dicks Put bag of candy dicks. I was like a chocolate dick Oh, yeah Yeah, that'd be fun like an easter bunny, but it's a dick It'll be dope to see you in an interracial relationship I Yes, see look and it comes with a little note that says eat a bag of dicks Look see dick dick male. That's great. That's amazing. That's come on man. Hey, they're literally small gummy bears I imagine them as much larger. I imagine it's full-sized dicks are even larger than full size The news report did to antonio brown what cnn did uh, uh, bernie sanders to bernie sanders Like he threw it like threw a bag of dicks and then nothing nothing no context No, no like did you catch it? Did you catch it with your mouth? How do you catch a bag of dicks? Yeah? Well, that's what I was thinking nobody would think candy dicks. You're like a threw a bag of dicks What'd you thought you thought it was dildos? I thought it was dildos. I thought she called one with each hand one with her mouth And she was like you thought you had good hands I'm the best wife in this family So what i'm not a titan that's your fault Hahaha See I didn't even get that most of y'all didn't even get that he opened up that end that's what he's saying That's a joke right there, all right That's the group chat. You just got group chat live That's that's group chat live gcl group chat lives. It's so stupid man. Let's pay some bills. 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Listen, this can get a free pair on your next order. All you have to do is go to stans.com slash idiots for free socks with your purchase. Now I will tell you something I will be doing this summer. I think I'm going to try the short pants with the socks pulled all the way up to the knee just so people can see me in the fresh ass Stans socks. It's a great look. It's a great look. I mean, I don't know if it's great, but I'm gonna try it. Just because I don't know what else to do with the socks. It's a great look. You talking about shorts? Or are you talking about a pant? No, shorts. Ah. I'm gonna wear shorts. Yeah, yeah. And I'm gonna pull the socks all the way up just because the socks got dope-ass designs on all the people to see. Yeah, let's take a West Coast Vatoloco thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like that for you. I like that for you. You think it'll look work? Yeah, I think maybe a khaki. You go with a nice khaki short. We're gonna go with a jeans short. You dress like 50 cent? Nah, I'm gonna do like basketball shorts. Like basketball shorts. Oh, you're talking about like a relaxed, like at home attire. Yeah, awesome sweatshorts. Sweatshorts. Yeah, like the sweatpants with the sweatshorts. Oh, dude. We gotta get Serge Bakke on one of those. Huh? I did think of something just now. Oh, we know. I might have lost it. He gives a fuck. Go. I think it might be a little too big for shorts. His dick would be hanging out the ends. You're saying, yeah. Yeah. I'm just saying. They'd be hanging out the ends. They'd be hanging out the ends. You think when you first see me, they'd be like, bro, are you taking a shit? I know, bro, it would be a little gay. It'd be a little weird, bro. Like your dick head just at the bottom of your shorts and you try to strange. It would be weird. That would make a lot of people uncomfortable. Yeah. That's all I'm saying. Do you think it's circumcised or not? I have no idea. Do you think his uncircumcised dick is just hanging out like a big old blunt who was smuggling? Oh, my God. Question. If you are uncircumcised, right, and you have a big penis, but when it's on soft, it's mostly skin. Yeah. It looks like a stance sock. Like if you was to whip it out. Yeah. If you was to whip it out. Taylor, would you be impressed? Would you be like, oh, shit. Or you'd be like, that's the soft skin. That's all skin. Would you try to cuddle up inside it like a sleeping bag? You know, move the smack mouth away and just, you know, warm up a little bit. It's fun to play with though. What, foreskin? Yeah. Holy shit. This is crazy. This is new. I've never heard this. Hold on. Really? Hold on. Tell me more. Hold on. We've talked about foreskin a lot over the years. Luke Tazuri Hall. When she was dating her boyfriend over foreskin, I can't remember his name right there. She's dating the same guy over and over again. The same white guy just a little bit different over and over again. Hopefully homie that she's dating now is circumcised. Does she date black guys? Huh? Does she date black guys? That's none of your business, yo. That's none of your fucking business, yo. Why are you asking all these questions? That's why your eyes red, because she'd probably punch you in the face. What does it matter if Tazuri dates black guys or not? I just want to know. Back now, back to you having fun with this foreskin, you goddammit. What do you do with it exactly? I did. Yo, this is going to be crazy. I need like... Use your hoodie. Don't use my fucking water, yo. Use your hoodie. Oh, I know. Okay, so look. Nah, that's circumcised. Yo hoodie! Oh, I got a good one. Give me the top of the mic. Take it off. Okay, now it's an uncircumcised dick. Yes. No, no, this is uncircumcised. That's the ridge. Yeah. The top part. I can smell it. I just like... Jerk it up and down. Jerk it up and down and then just like trying to cover the top part. I don't know, it's weird. That shit would make me feel so insecure. I swear if a girl was pledged to sit there playing on my poor skin. That shit would drive me crazy. My insecurity would make me go nuts with this shit. Why, why, why is that? I would just feel like she's playing with me. Like, why playing with me? He didn't like it. I was dating a Haitian. He did not like that. He didn't? I thought it was funny though. I would try to cover it, the top part and then like pick a pool. Pick a pool! Pick a pool! Pick a pool! What the fuck? Really? Yeah, but I'm never doing that shit again. Why? Because it comes with too much like... That is disgusting. Is it smegmo? Yeah, but it's not, he cleaned himself but it still was like... It's too many issues that come with it. See what I'm saying? You know how prejudiced this is? Exactly. I had a whole thing with it. It is though. No, it's just prejudiced. You just was giving it so much props. You can't, I wasn't... That's how dicks are supposed to look. I didn't go and say you're going wrong with him. Why not? Because by the way... You're never really going wrong with somebody who has foreskin by the way. Why they always got covered? It's natural con. Interesting point. But you don't think a foreskin dick and like your regular pussy, they're the same. Nobody makes you cut off something off of your pussy? It's not the same. It literally is how God made dicks and pussies. That's exactly the same. No, but the dick is going in the pussies. I wouldn't say the pussies the same as the fucking... What's it called? What is dicks called? Uncircumcised dicks. AKA dicks. Andrew does have a point. I mean... It's natural. It comes with foreskin. Like it is a natural thing that is like the... That's the organic dick. It is. You know what I'm saying? Once you get a circumcised it's like, yo, it's low GMO-ish. It's GMO. Just a little bit. You shop at Whole Foods or Gristiti's? Real talk. Real talk. And guys that have foreskin say that the sex feels better. I've heard that. Yeah. Because our dicks are desensitized. Yeah, come on. Imagine how sensitive it would be if you had the foreskin. Because the foreskin covers your dick head, which is the sensitive part of your whole life. Your dick head is just exposed to the environment. Yeah, that's why dogs are not so fast though. Because they got that pink shit come out. They got that goddamn foreskin. Dogs are uncircumcised. So dogs can just hump the air. And the air turns them on so much. They start nothing all over the place. I wonder if that happens to motherfuckers that are uncircumcised. They come faster. They come faster. 100%. Why you think girls like us? Because we give them that wronged it. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's not fun to suck though. Taylor, can you calm down? Taylor, this is a PG-13 podcast. What are you talking about? What's up with you, man? You guys are talking about it. Disabled service? It's a horrible decision. I know. What's going on? You said they're fun to suck? No, they're not. They're not fun to suck. Why? What does it feel like? Skin. Oh, is that why your eyes turn red? Yeah. But hold up though. Oh, my gosh. Your eyes did look like a pink dick last week. So listen, when it gets hard though, doesn't the skin go back? A little bit. But like, as soon as it gets soft, that shit comes right back. Like, it's no... Circumcise your kids, y'all. That's the more little motherfucking story. Circumcise your kids. Look, man, I met Will Smith this week. Oh, I wanted to ask you about that. I first asked you about Martin. I'm actually more curious about Martin. Talk to me. Did you... I met Martin before. I met Martin a couple of years ago at the Wrinkle in Time from there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And what was your take on Martin? He's more isolated to me. You don't get as much Martin as you do Will in terms of like true personality and who they are as a human being. Well, let's talk about that, right? Martin is clearly more of an introvert. Yeah. Right? Clearly, that's who Martin has always been. Yeah. We don't know Martin. Yeah. We know Martin from television. Yeah. We know Martin from movies. Yeah. We know Martin when he's on. Yeah. Like, Arsenio Hall, so things like that. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We don't know him in real life. He probably... He said it. He's like, I'm shy. Like, he was like, I don't like to... He's like, I didn't even do press for Bad Boy 2. Yeah. He said, I didn't even do... I didn't even think about that. Blockbuster movie. He said, I did not even do press for Bad Boy 2. And why? Why? He said because they wouldn't get him a private jet and shit like that. But I mean, I think a guy like Martin, man, I don't think Martin loves the limelight as much as people think he does. You know what I mean? And plus, he getting older now. And he was like, yo, man, people running up on you in the street. I was like, ah, isn't that like... He's not into that. Yeah. You know? But then you look at Will. You said that Will's personality is big all the time. But Will will tell... Or available. Yeah. But Will will tell you, he's been playing a role his whole life. Yes. You know what I'm saying? Like, Will will tell you that Will Smith was a character. Right. That he created that protected him. Like, I remember listening to him on rap radio podcast. And he talked about he didn't even curse. He didn't even want to curse publicly because he wanted people to feed into the Will Smith Mr. Nice Guy character. He said when he turned 50 this last year in his life, it's been the best year in his life because he's finally... Being Will. Truly being himself. Uh-huh. So it's just like when you look at Will and you're like, when did Will become the Dalai Lama? Like, but anybody that actually knows Will, when you talk to these guys like Charlie McDonough, he's always been the smartest guy in the room. Right. He reads everything. He studies everything. You know what I'm saying? So it's just like, would you have thought that 20 years ago? No. 30 years ago? I mean, I always assume intellect with successful people. But the fact that he's like so grounded, that is a thing. Yeah. And didn't he get into MIT or something like that? Wasn't there? I always knew Will was a... I heard that. I heard that after the fact. I actually heard that for the first time this week. I never thought about it. And then he chose not to go to rap, right? Yeah. So yeah, I don't know... You asked him a great question. I thought it was classic Charlamagne. When you asked him about the Tupac thing, I thought it was brilliant. To be honest with you, I'm like, I always thought that. Yeah, but I think that's one of the reasons why we gravitate to you because you will ask the questions that we think, but most people are afraid to ask in the moment. Like, you get an opportunity to hang out with Will Smith and most people are going to be like, oh my God, and I love this movie and how is this? And you jumped off this canyon and all these questions that are fine because you want someone that you admire to like you. And I think that people are often blinded by that, right? Like, they want to be liked so much that they won't ask the questions they're curious about. I'm a fan. I'm a fan, first and foremost. Yeah. I'm a fan of the culture. I'm a fan of Will Smith. Yeah. And I'm not afraid to admit that. So those are just life things, right? Yeah. Because I got homies, you know what I'm saying? Like, I got homies who have been in high profile relationships with people and, you know, an ex-boyfriend dies. And then that woman is crying and, you know, talking about how much she loves her and how her soul may. And I've seen how that affected my homie, right? Yeah. So in a situation like that, it makes you think about the Will and Jada and Tupac dynamic. Like, yes, Jada had a lot of love for Pac. And she cries over Pac. And, you know, she talks about Pac with such reverence. I'm like, how did that make you feel? You had to be jealous of that in some way, right? Like, I mean, and I'm only leaning into what I would assume is some of my insecurities as well. Of course. You know what I mean? As a man, I know how that would make me feel. You're lying. You're lying if you don't think that would make you feel the way. You're not even, you're not remotely telling the truth. You see the woman that you love gush over another human. You be like, don't do it. I don't even like when my girl laughs at other people's jokes. What's so funny about that? You got Mac-A-Medians though. I'm sure you got Mac-A-Median friends. Yeah, but why, that's not, I'm funny. I think that's comic ego. Of course. Yeah, yeah. Because that thing I value, it's like imagine your girl was like, man, I was listening to your butt and pull up and that shit. You be like, for why? Well, yeah. For why? Why were you doing that? What was the point? What was the point? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm with you. I'm with you 100%. The illest part of that was when Will, before I asked him that question, Will was like, no, I watch you. I know- I saw that part too. I know your little ignorant patterns and he was right. I wasn't about to ask him a question but I didn't think that was like a whammy. This is like the evolution of you. Because I think the earlier version of you would do this, would ask this question. Yo, did Jade ever fuck Pop? That's the early Charlemagne. I bet your early Charlemagne does that. And now you asked the same question but what you really are worried about. You're not concerned if Jade ever fucked him because that's how we like manifest it on like a lower level. You asked, did she love him and how did that make you feel? Now you're tapping into some deeper emotional shit. Not even if she loved him because we know she loved him. How did loving him make you feel? It was a fucking way more layer and deeper question because it goes outside of the sexual component. The answer to the first question when Will goes, nah, then you're like, okay, now I can't follow up. But this one is, well, he's gone but does it still? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you feel sick? Listen, I had to follow up. The follow up was, you know, how did you get over it? It's not just me driving the car. Wait, what do you mean? Oh, they didn't want to go to pop. Somebody else went, yeah, and he wanted him to ask another question and went somewhere else with the interview. But it's cool. I just, you know, Will is one of those people that I would love to sit down and have a... That one-on-one would be great. Yeah, just about life. You know what I'm saying? Like just about, you know, because I hear him talk about hailing childhood traumas and you know, it was another part of the interview where he even talked about at one point he was jealous of Dwayne Johnson. Why? He said, you know- He was getting all the movies that Will used to do? Well, I talked to him, I asked him about the fact that a lot of his movies been flopping. How'd you phrase that? I don't remember exactly how I phrased it. I just said, you know, do either one of y'all, do both of y'all, do y'all feel like y'all have something to prove? You know, and I was like, you know, Martin Anthony and I was like, you know, especially with you, Will, because, you know, they've been saying how you used to be, used to be guaranteed box office. But now, you know, they say you've had a lot of flops, you know, so how did that make you feel? I talked about that, but then he even talked about, you know, feeling like he had to compete with Dwayne Johnson. Like he's like, oh, what the fuck? That guy's, you know, getting all the looks now. So it's just like, it's just good to know that even at that level- There's still- People still- You still have insecurities. Yeah. You still have a slight envy. Yeah. You still are competitive. You know what I'm saying? Like, but what he said is real. He's just comfortable being him now. Why do you think that him and Martin had such good chemistry? The ears. The ears. The ears. I thought about that after the fact and it really bothered me that I never put two into together. I didn't put two into together. They both had, just think about it, back then, two black men with their own sitcoms, network television, in big ears. The ears, bro. I'm telling you, y'all think it's a joke. Yeah, we never considered that. They both had their own sitcoms and it was like bringing the Avengers together in that way. And Martin had bad boys first. They did bad boys. Martin picked Will. Yeah. By the way, the new bad boys, good. I didn't see it, good. I had a screening for it last Friday, man. I really, really enjoyed it for reasons that I will talk about next week because I don't want to, you know, ruin anything for anybody, but I really, really enjoyed it. Yeah. It was a really good movie. Yeah. And they probably could get another one off. Really? Taylor, what are you talking about? Think about how it ended. No. They had a Marvel-like ending. Yes. Taylor, did you not like it? I thought it was what I expected. I didn't think it was like amazing, but... I didn't say amazing. I didn't say good. Yeah, it was okay. It was cool. I actually thought it was kind of fine, to be honest with you. I didn't... I ain't gonna lie to you. It kind of slapped me. I like, I really enjoyed it. You have to hear his reasoning, though. So, next time. Why? The nostalgia or the old man's shit? What was it? Boom. Yes. That's it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They leaned into it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They didn't run from it. They didn't do the Tom Cruise bullshit, where I got you all on the fucking performance enhancers and HGH or whatever that shit is. Yeah. And he's got a girlfriend that's 20. Right. And he's 90. Right. I hate Tom Cruise for that. Yeah, yeah. They leaned back. So, I really do. I hate Tom Cruise for that. Like, Tom Cruise got to knock the fuck off. Like, you know, Tom Cruise still moves like a fucking 80s Hollywood star, 80s pop star. You know, you don't control the narrative no more, Tom. Right. We know you're fucking old as dirt. Like, stop it. Your face isn't fucking moving, because you're getting all the work done in the world. Like, knock it off. We know you're old. Yeah, yeah. Like, one day, Tom is going to die of like a heart attack or some wild shit. Everybody's going to be like, Huh? He's 95. Fucking years old. I hate that shit. Martin and Will. See how angry black people get when a white man ages well? Yo, what if that's what the movies are all about? White man aging well. Mission impossible. No, that was a good one, guys. Come on. This is a thinking man's podcast. A thinking woman's podcast. You're going to think about that and realize how good that was. That's flat just now. That's good. That's good. That's flat. But they leaned into the old shit, bruh. And I'm talking about it in a real way. In a way to where there would be dialogue, you would hear one of them do. And it would be so... You'd be sitting there thinking, man, that was corny. But then they would say it. Right there in that moment. They'd say that that was a corny line. They'd call out their own corny line. What the fuck are you... You're not 20. Yo, it was good, man. I thoroughly enjoyed it for that reason. I mean, it was a good movie. Overall, the premise was good. The storyline was good. It had a nice twist to it that I didn't see coming, which actually set up sequels. But the fact that they really leaned into it was brilliant, man. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Okay. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I want to see it. I want to see that. And then there's this movie called 1917. Have you heard of this? Something like World War I movie. Yeah. Good. Everybody's saying it's like cinematic. They made it look like the whole movie's one shot, apparently. I've seen that before. Blair Witch project. Why would that impress me? Yo. I've seen it before. I've seen it before. Why would that impress me? Yo. What an amazing hustle that was. Blair Witch project leaned. They're like, yo, it's kind of a real movie. That's why the footage is shitty. And then we're like, all right, we'll just accept that the footage is shitty. And then they just made a whole movie with shitty footage. What kind of real? I thought that shit was real. Because they set it up with a documentary. I think it was on any of one of these fucking channels. And it was a documentary about this shit called the Blair Witch. And I watched that shit one night and scared myself half to death. And then about a month or two later, they was like, oh, they have a movie. They've recovered all the fucking footage. And we went to see that shit and was terrified. Then you start seeing these motherfuckers popping up on late night shows. Which, by the way, should have been in their contract that they shouldn't have done. Not to do. Yeah, that'd be really smart. They ruined the shit. They should not have done. They should have been in the future 20, 30 years from now. We should have been just realizing that Blair Witch was fake. Yeah. They fucked the whole premise up. But that movie was one shot. It was. Yeah, that shit was just like a handheld camera. Yeah. That shit was like the first World Star video before World Star. No, it was. It was like a handheld camera. There was like, wasn't really no angles and shit other than them looking at the camera. You see the dude in the corner? It's probably in there. Look at my man Chris Miles. Look at that meme he just made. Let me see. What's this? The face you make, the face you make when you're tired of all the jokes. So you start plotting or preventing. Whoa. That's foul, yo. You do look like that. Yo. Look at this face, man. You look like that. You might be bro. You giving them that uncircumcised dick. Tell the evil bro. Tell the reason most guys from Philly don't marry women from Philly. I don't date. I haven't dated a guy from Philly in a long time. Neither have you guys. But like, I mostly dated Jersey guys. Why? Just because they came over to Philly to party and stuff like that. Ah. That's what's up. Let's pay some bills. Okay. So guys, it's time to grab a new year by the hair follicles. Here's to a year of personal growth thanks to Hems. Get your hair right. Simple as that. Okay. You want to keep your hair. You think it's going a little thin. You think it's falling out. You get on Hems, active ingredients, finasteride. I've been on it for years. Got a beautiful head of hair wearing a hat right now. But I'll take it out. Look at that. Ooh. Okay. Real Trumpish. My hair. Let me tell you something. Trump is not on Hems. Trump needs the Hems. He got that comb over because he's not on it. For Hems.com, one stop shop for hair loss. Okay. You go there. You make sure you get your Hems. Keep your hair. No snake oil, pill or gas station kind of supplements. You ask a few quick questions online and a doctor will review them and then determine if it's right for you. Then they can describe you medication to be shipped directly to your door. You know how nice that is. Dive into 2020 hair first. Right now, our listeners can get started with their first month for free. Go to 4Hems.com. That's 4Hems.com. Now remember, the prescription requires an online consultation with the physician who will determine if a prescription is appropriate. Offer valid only if prescribed. So three month minimum subscription. Additional restrictions apply to the website for details and important safety information. Remember, that's 4Hems.com. For your first month. For Ray. Let me tell you something, man. Speaking of hair and Hems, all of y'all going to hell for fucking with trick daddy, man. Yo, what are you doing? First of all, y'all don't understand, as a black man, there's two things that I fear. Number one, when I was young, I used to always fear having to go to jail when I got a shit. So that's why I always like, if I got a shit before I leave somewhere, I'm going to make sure I shit. Whether it's here at work, whether it's, you know, at the house, I don't chance it. You know what I'm saying? Because you never know. You might get pulled over. You might have a ticket you ain't paid for. Might have a little warrant. Now you sitting in that goddamn hole until having the shit. So always make sure I got a shit. Number two is I've got an older and my hairline started to recede. I never wanted to be the person that got caught out there with a mugshot and I don't have a haircut. Yeah. And that goddamn robo cop without his mask look is going on. But what I don't understand is his, his hair. I mean, it looks like it was lined up with tetris. Why does it go in a block and then come back down? First of all, the whole hair is fake. The whole time the whole hair is fake. The whole top. Before you get your jokes off. Yeah. There's no trick that he has lupus. Lupus. Yes. And lupus is responsible. That usually affects your elbow. Huh? You see lupus in your elbow. Your elbow gets all fat. My friend's mom had lupus. I think it affects just more than that. I don't think it does that to your hairline. He said it did. I mean, of course he did. Well, so, it's like, it's like, it's like when you're in school you be teasing, teasing, teasing somebody. Yo, your mommy and mama. I got lupus. My mama did. Oh, yeah. Oh, shit. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's all I'm saying. Everybody jumped on him and he got on Facebook and said, y'all want to make jokes, but I got lupus. He said, every day I got to wake up and worry about whether I'm going to still be briefing. Now you feel bad, don't you? No. No. You should. Why? Cause. Cause he has lupus. I didn't give it to him. Shut up, man. Because that's the reason it looks like that. I don't believe that that's why his hair looks like that. Really? Yeah. You think it's a bad barber? There's no way that that person's a barber that did that. Somebody Google lupus. Someone Google. The effects lupus has on hair. Yeah. Do that. Alex, how do you know? Alex used to be a nurse. Alex used to be a nurse. He used to be a nurse. He went to nursing school. Pretty Dominican nurse. He's Puerto Rican. Puerto Rican. But what is a lupus effect? Does it make it look like your hair was cut with Lego? Yeah. Damn. So maybe a rash. It can be a rash. No, it can't. What are you making up? So maybe. So maybe. Maybe Trick don't realize why he was climbing them. I think that they're making fun of. He thinks they're making fun of his face being a little swollen, which is definitely lupus. Yeah. I don't think he realized they're making fun of the hairline. It's just a little chip that's taken out of the top. Ew. That would make perfect sense. I mean, when you saw the hairline, what did you think? I was like, I said, police are so fucking cruel. You think they buzzed it and then made him go? No. I just let him wear his fucking hat. Oh, yeah. They did shit to Plyes one time at the airport, man. Yeah. And Plyes looked at the police. I said, please, Mr. Officer, don't let me take my hat off. He said that to the police. I said, please, Mr. Officer, don't let me take my hat off. Did they take his hat off? Took his fucking hat right off and barred the shit out of him. That's wild. Police are heartless, bro. Cruel as fuck. That's why if I'm ever in that situation, I'm going to say, yo, take my fucking hat off now. You want to own it? Take my fucking hat off. Own it. And he's going to be like, no, you keep your fucking hat on. Ooh. Reverse psychology. That's really smart. Reverse psychology to the police. I'm going to say, take my fucking hat off. It's too tight. Why don't you do that next time you get pulled over? What do you mean? Give me a ticket for speeding. No. Hell no. Why don't you try more? Hell no. This is a good idea. Then I go from- Shoot me for no reason. Exactly, no. I understand. Now what happened? Now I'm the irate, angry black person. His mother got his gun. Like fuck, he's just got yelling and screaming. Your Honor, he asked me to do it. He'd be the first cop to say that. Whoa. That'd be stupid. I'm not, no. I'm not doing that. What else? Oh, Lori Harvey. I don't know anything about Lori Harvey. I just hear in all these rap songs, apparently she's Steve Harvey's daughter. Stepdaughter. That's his daughter. Stepdaughter. That's his stepdaughter. It looks just like him. That is not his real daughter. First of all, that is not a compliment. That's his second wife's- I don't think you ever want to say that. That's his second wife's daughter. I'm telling you. I feel like they had a love child. Oh my God. Taylor, stop it. She's 23 years old, Taylor. What does that mean? They've only been married for like five, six years. Doesn't mean they haven't known each other. Oh, God, Taylor. Taylor, please. This is what's wrong with the internet. You sound like Alex Jones. They look no- They just look to me alike. Taylor, Lori Harvey and Steve Harvey look alike to you? Yes. Have you seen Lori's mother? Yeah, they have a nice- What happened? I don't care what no- Taylor, I don't want you to ever say- That the woman that got all these men going crazy looks like Steve Harvey. Please. Also, I don't want you to ever say that white people think all black people look alike because you happen to think that this very attractive young lady looks like Steve Harvey. looks like Steve fucking Harvey. She has what? What? Tell me. I need to know the features that you think Steve Harvey and Lori Harvey have together. Come the fuck on. Come on. Taylor, I need you to look at this shit and say what the fuck is wrong with you. I mean- Their eyes, in a way. I don't know. Their lips. Stop, stop, stop. You stay right here. I want you to look at that picture and then I want you to tell me the things that they have that they're similar. What is it? Their lips. They both have full lips. It's a bone structure. I don't know. They look similar to me. No. Like a knight. No, I'm not saying just exactly like Steve Harvey. She looks nothing like Steve Harvey. Her mom is Steve Harvey. So she's 23 years old, right? 23. Sorry, 23? She just turned 23. 23 years old. They've been married for how long? Like five years, if that. How long have- What? What? How long has he been with her mom? Hold on, let me look it up. Hold on. How long has Steve- Let me look it up. Hold on. They haven't been long at all. Hold on. So she just took his last name when she spent the majority of her life? Exactly. That's disrespectful to her dad. Say what? Exactly. We got to hit both sides. All right, what's the other side? We don't know her dad. We don't know who her dad is. I looked it up to dads like in a drug business. Like pharmaceuticals? Where did you get all this shit from? I looked it up earlier. Pharmaceuticals or actual drugs? Yeah, Mike. What? 10 years. You've been married to her for 10 years. Oh, okay. So maybe that's not that bad. You're there in her formative years. Yeah, 13. She probably met her even before that. So you've known her for a while. Take on the dad's name. Maybe the dad wasn't that good. That's not like Quincy's last name is Combs. Or is it? No, it's not. It's not? Who's Quincy? That's Diddy's step- You show Quincy's last name not Combs? I don't think so. Or the Porter? What is it? Either way, I know Lori Harvey don't look like Steve Harvey. I mean, this is a beautiful woman. I don't know anything about Lori Harvey. I just know that she makes these guys go crazy. Rappers rap about her. She, like, I don't know anything about her. Future got it now, right? Yeah. She's dating Future now. Oh, she got Future now. He's a coxman, that Future, huh? What do you mean coxman? I mean, he takes them down. Takes them downtown. Oh, yeah. Talk to me. What are they saying in the white world about Future? That's just rough. That's rough you got? They say that he takes them all down. Really? Yeah, Future. Future. Who's on the list? Who's on the list? Who's on the list? Lori Harvey. Okay. Ciara. Ciara? Ciara's a car that hasn't come out yet. Ciara's the new Toyota. Ciara's in the fall of 2020. The Toyota Ciara. Toyota Ciara. Yeah. Bawa's baby mama. Bawa's baby mama. I'm not impressed by the list so far. I kind of, I don't have any more. I mean, that's a coxman. Is that not a coxman? I've heard, I mean, listen. Who's the greatest coxman in the black community? We know who it is in the white community. Who's it? Come on, Leo, man. Slanging that dang-a-lang-a-lang. Shit, Leo might be in the black community too. As many black women as he be fucking. Let me tell you. Who he fucks is black? Maybe he gets it in. Name one. Leo DiCaprio? Yeah. Name one. No, I'm not naming one. Riri. Um. He really be slanging. Who's the greatest coxman in the black community? Slanging that fucking dang-a-lang-a-lang. Ever since Titanic. Yo, Jeter. But Jeter's white. Jeter's in the white community. Nick Cannon. Nick Cannon is one of them. Nick Cannon is your best dick. Common, bro. Hold on. Trason. We need to back this up. Nick Cannon, your best dick. That's the dick you put up there with Leo. I mean, Nick put, Nick said, Nick was naming some names on Big Boy. What he said? He got some joints. Who you got? He got some joints. He got some joints. He got some joints. I don't like this conversation because it's so juvenile and I don't know why any man would be talking about the woman they slept with. Why not? Publicly, that's why. But if it's already been mentioned publicly. You don't got to confirm. Say again? You don't got to confirm. I mean, yeah, you do. I mean, maybe you don't. I don't care. I want to know who your best dick is. If you have to send a guy out there in the world to save the world to take down the hottest girl, who's it going to be? I don't know because it changes, right? Because... Save the world. One dick. It changes based off generation. This generation. Because you hear about Drake. Drake be out here getting it in. That's your black dick? You're sending out the Jewish one? Yes. That's my first line. That's probably my first line. That's your first line of defense. You're sending out the Jewish dick. And then right now in 2020, January, whatever, 2020. 2020. I think Drake. But if I had to like... So your best black dick is half white in Jewish. Young men for council, young men for war. So I would use Drake for war, and I would have Drake council common. Trace humans. I don't know about Drake. I don't know about Drake. I don't know about any of these people. I'm just talking about the stories that I hear and the things that are out there publicly, the people that we've seen and with. It has to be taken down. I'm going Drake for war. It has to be. And common for the council. Save the world. Drake for war. Save the black population. Drake for war. Yes. Common for council. Common for council. Drake for war. So you're sending out your waffle colored ones. When the going gets tough, you get waffle. I'm just saying, based off what I've seen. I'm just saying. Based off what I've seen. What makes the soundtrack? And the beauty of these guys, it seems like they like all varieties of black women. They like all shades of black women. You know what I'm saying? So it can go from Rihanna to Serena. You know what I mean? Okay. So I respect the fact that they like all shades of sisters. Okay. You know what I mean? So I would go Drake for war. Okay. Common for the council. And you think that you save the world, you get the job done. I think so. I think so. And Drake's not picky. Drake will take them all down. It doesn't matter. From porn star to pop star. Drake could take them all down. That's a good point. Because you don't know who you have to fuck to save the world. I read a story about a fucking turtle. They took this turtle. It was only like... I want to read this exact stat. That was a good stat, bro. Drake is fucking turtles. Drake didn't fucking turtle. But it's a story. Oh, yes. There's this turtle that literally revived his entire species. Yes. 100-year-old turtle named Oscar or something like that. When he started, there were just two males and 12 females of his species alive on the island. Now the population is over 2,000. And now to his missing accomplice, they're putting Diego back into the wild. He would have a Mexican name. It would be a Diego. Diego, go repopulate the world. Put Diego. All right, now send him back over to the world. I got him. My job here is done. But yes, Diego did his motherfucking job. And I think Drake could get the job done, too. You talk about end of the world, we're doing a hypothetical, bringing it into the scenario. End of the world. You have to fuck one girl, though. One girl, it's the hardest girl to have sex with. You have to charm her panties off. That wouldn't work, then. How evil would this woman be if the world is ending? There's nothing left. And it's just them two left to populate the world. No, not populate. If you don't have sex with her, a plague comes across the whole world and everybody's dead. And you have to charm her. Who are you sending? I need her to sit down with my therapist for a few weeks. I need to know what her mind state is because she may want to die. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Charlotte, you saying you could take this down? No, I'm saying I would want her to... Charlotte, if we send you out there... No, Black Men Don't Cheat. What? Black Men Don't Cheat. I wouldn't do it. Okay, how about this? You don't have to fuck her. You just have to get her to the point where she wants to fuck. Could you save the world? What do you mean? Like, fuck me? Yeah. I don't have no game no more. I would be the worst person to send out there. What would it sound like when you were trying to save the world? I can't even hypothetically have that conversation because I'm so far removed from that behavior and that lifestyle that I wouldn't even have that... I don't even know where to begin. You wouldn't know where to begin. Black Men Don't Cheat. I'm glad you know. I really don't know. Listen, by the way, I was naive before, meaning like things would go over my head. Like a woman would literally have to be like, hey, I want to have sex with you. Come have sex with me right now. I would be like, oh, that's why I'm over here. That's why you're like, uh... You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't have game. I don't know what to do. I would not know where to begin. So we would die. Yes. By the way, why would you have to convince a woman to have sex with you if the world is about to end? If she really cares about... We're just being hypothetical. We're just being hypothetical. Okay. We're just having fun as guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? As Patrice would say, that's what men do for fun. We get hypothetical about dumb shit. This is some dumb shit. But yeah, like I said, Drake, my first line of defense. I'll be honest. Drake for war and comic for counsel. I don't know if Leo's the guy I send out. I think Leo is only fucking the girls that he has like a huge advantage of because they're like starstruck. Straight charm? Charisma? Straight charm? Might be Karl Lentz. Pastor Karl Lentz? I think Pastor Karl Lentz might got it, dude. Just go in there. You want to go in next game? You know what I'm saying? I'm just saying. I'm just saying. That prayer shit worked, though. Prayer works, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Pastor Karl, bro. You take a girl to church and you know you pray over her and all this and that. That might... Autumn songs? I'll got one. I'll go. Ooh. Ooh. Obama. Obama. Charismatic. Every girl only wanted Obama because he was married, though. I think Obama's one of those guys that once a girl gets to it and realizes that he's willing to cheat, she's like, I knew you weren't as perfect as people thought you were. And look at your jeans, they're all baggy. Yeah, I don't think that they would actually get away with Barack. I think that it was the... It was the mystique of, you know, he's married, he don't got no scandal, he don't got no dirt. Like, I think that a woman would only do that to say he's... To ruin the world. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You fucking bite the apple, bitch. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think... Yeah, I don't think they would go with it. That is some biblical ass shit, right? Just don't fucking touch the apple, bitch. Kayla, who's the man that women can't... Can't... Can't stop... What is it called? Can't resist. Can't resist. They just need it so bad. Soaking up. I would say what you said. Probably Drake. Not necessarily for me. For you, who is it? It's just some, like, turnpike employee in the New Jersey. No, not me. That's him. I knew Shaw was going to say Serge. No, he got it. That's beautiful. It wouldn't be Serge. Who is it? You're doubling down now. I thought you all love him. Son, he has a big dick, but that's not my light number one. You have a big dick. I'm just saying. Yo, you know that pillow at the hotel beds, this, like, long and cylindrical? You know the one I'm talking about that you're supposed to put between your legs when you sleep? That's what it's for. What is that for? I thought it was just for decoration. I don't know. You just gave us the Andrew Showtree. That's what Andrew uses it for. Who's the guy, Taylor? For me? I like the old heads, though. Like, give me, like, Omar Epps and stuff. I want that. Oh, Maris Chestnut. Yeah, he's cool. I'm not going to say where Chestnut is because I know you're going to say... Who, who, who, what, what, what. That's not my fault I get mistaken for Maris Chestnut, Taylor. Why are you mad at me because people mistake me for Maris Chestnut? What did I do? Other than it looked like Maris Chestnut. By the way, Maris says he gets mistaken for me, too. What do they call you, though? Maris Walnut. I'm just being honest. I'm going to show you a picture right now. That's a photo shoot I just did. Maris Walnut is mad funny, bro. Because a Walnut is a way shittier nut. Let's be honest, dude. Nobody's seen these pictures yet. Come on, now. Okay, that's one. You're looking clean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're looking clean. Okay. That's Maris Chestnut, for sure. Okay, now go. You're so happy. The next one, go on. No, that's me. It ain't you, bro. Come on, dawg. Come on, man. Hold on, hold on. Y'all tripping. Oh, there's another guy, too. He's a lovely guy, though. Maris Chestnut, bro. You think Charlie Minnelly's like Maris Chestnut? I can see a little bit of his eyebrows. There, you look handsome there. You look handsome. You do. That's what everybody, everybody that's old enough to order off the goddamn IHOP senior menu loves to call me handsome. When their vision goes a little. My friend has a huge crush on Charlie Minnelly. Talk to me. Come on. But is it physical? Nothing wrong with a little positive information. Or is it combined with charisma and intelligence? All that. She loves him. Yeah. Talk to me. Tell me more. Don't ever think that I don't need it. No, this is good to hear. No, you met her, actually. Let's talk about what's his name. Yeah. I'm gonna have a guy for you, too. Really? He's a nice dark chocolate, too. How much cacao? What is cacao? 90% cacao? He's hefty, though. He's a little hefty. You like him thick, bro? Who? Huh? Who? You like that pecan? What are you all talking about? Speaking of cons, Acon. Yo. That's kind of crazy, bro. So he has his own city. That's kind of, I don't know what the fuck that even means. Yeah. But I heard that shit and that shit made me think I wasn't doing enough of my life. Yeah. We always had these conversations about community building. Acon's figured it out. He's built an old city in Senegal, bro. Like, if that's the goal, I'm with that. Yeah. How did that work, though? I don't know. So did he just go there and he purchased land that nobody was living on? I don't know, man. What are the people that already live in that city feel? How do they feel about their city being renamed? I think he's building it from the ground up. Cause he's got his own currency and everything. They say they're using. Acon currency. It's cryptocurrency, yeah. Yeah. Acon's. Acon. I'm in. I made that up just now. But they do have the cryptocurrency, though. It is cryptocurrency. I don't know what's called Acon, though. I mean, it's God bless him, man. He said he was going to do it. And I thought he was getting a big investment from China. But it seems like he's doing it himself. I saw people giving him flak for that. Who gives a fuck? Where you get the money from? That's American like imperialistic narrative. Like we can't let anybody else control the world. We got to control the world. We owe China now. I mean, it's bullshit. Oh, we owe them a lot of money. It's either, oh, a tomato tomato. Like you're going to get the bread from somewhere to start something like fuck it. What's the problem? Yeah. I don't know. What's the problem? I don't know. I got to be eating. Do you want to talk about Oscars? Oscars is what? I don't give a fuck about the, I cannot tell you how much I don't care about the Oscars. We should have a nice little conversation about the Oscars and why every, every year for the majority of the year, regardless of the year the conversation is, we just got to care about our own. We got to stop caring about everybody. We got to support our own. And we got to do that for our own. And then a bunch of fucking old white people decide which movies are good. And people are like, how? Exactly. Why is Oscars so racist? By the way, the movies that the Oscars pick, I don't even be liking none of these shit. Son, I don't, like I hated that shit when a guy had the dirty bathtub. What's that one? The shit with the dirty bathtub and motherfucker was talking to him in the dirty bathtub. Precious? No, man. What's the shit, man? I don't know. You know the shit I'm talking about, man. Is a dirty bathtub? Remember the motherfucker had a dirty bathtub and the shit came alive in the dirty bathtub? Cause based off of short film? Yeah, I know. You guys are going to come to Yacht. Actually, I think they won the Oscar if I'm not mistaken. It didn't happen yet. Something of water, the shape of water. There was a mutant in there. How you describe that movie by the bathtub? It wasn't a fuck you. I can tell me that thing wasn't in the bathtub. It was in the aquarium. It was in the aquarium? Yes. I thought it was a dirty bathtub. See? I didn't watch the shit. Oh my gosh. Cause that's what we do. It's the fucking brand name of the island. I was going to ask how can I not like something I didn't watch. So we just discussed the debate and neither of us saw it. What were you talking about? For the first 30 minutes of the podcast. The brand name of the podcast, guys. Okay, so, Oscars, one thing that really bothered me is everybody was getting so upset that Dolomite didn't get nominated. Dolomite didn't get nominated, yo. Based on how great it was, Dolomite should have been nominated, but if you saw Dolomite, you must have missed the whole point of Dolomite, which was make content for your people and who gives a fuck what anybody else has to say about it. That's a fact. Dolomite would not care if Dolomite was not nominated for an Oscar. That is a fact. So it's like stop with this petty bullshit. Stop, what does somebody say? Kaz said it on a podcast about like people take on the values of their oppressors when they don't have values in themselves. It's like when you lose your values and what you value, you take on the value of your oppressors. Stop putting their values ahead of yours. Have your own values. Care what you care about. We can't keep saying that we don't give a fuck what these people think. And they complain about it. Every time something happens, we give a fuck. Who cares? I do think I can finish it. I've been nominated. I thought that was weird. She won the Golden Globe. I thought that when you win the Golden Globe, you automatically get an Oscar now. I think sometimes they have egos, so they're like we're not going to let them win the Golden Globe and Oscar. At least give her a nom. Give her a nom, yeah. If you're good enough to win the Golden Globe, she should at least got a nomination for the farewell. I actually do think Lupita Nyong'o should have got a nomination too. I thought she killed it in us, bro. Yeah, she was good. Us was great. I love her. I still like us to this day. I thought she did a hell of a job in us. But I mean, other than that, I didn't see any of those other movies. So I can't tell you if them shit deserved to be Oscar nominated or not. You know what I mean? I just know that when you have usually a bunch of old white men choosing what's cool, they're going to choose what they can relate to. Like you saw Stephen King put out this. Stephen King was like, he doesn't think about diversity when it comes to art. He just thinks about the art, which is a stupid statement from him because he made Carrie. Carrie was about a... I remember him writing in his book one time. Stephen King wrote about how Carrie was an analogy for feminism. How he wrote that book to show something about how women channel their powers and how men are scared of women with powers. So clearly you wrote that movie. So that's what that movie was about? That's what he wrote in one of his books. I thought that she was about having a period. Oh, I don't fucking know. I don't know. But Stephen King said that himself. So if you say that about one of your films, clearly you wrote that art with diversity in mind. So for you to make a statement that you don't think about diversity when it comes to your art, that's just fucking stupid, Stephen. But he's 72 years old. I mean, has he made a lot of movies that are diverse though, outside of the female show? I mean, listen, he's a fucking science fiction horror guy. So it's gonna be a lot of white shit. Who gives a fuck about diversity when you're writing about clowns that kill kids? Like, who cares? It's a horror movie. He's writing what he knows. Why would he write some black or Puerto Rican or Muslim storyline? He doesn't know about that. He probably lives in Vermont. So imagine if it wasn't a white man. What the fuck is it, by the way? A clown. But what's his race? We don't know. White. He's a white guy, right? Yeah, yeah. So imagine if it was a Latino. A Latino clown. Or a black person. A biassal. It'd be outraged, probably. Why? Go on. Because he's a murderous clown. Because he's wearing whiteface. Shut up, man. What? I'm just saying. Because he's a murderous clown. They probably would find a reason to be upset. Like, why he gotta be black? Why he gotta be Latino? You know what I'm saying? That's just the era we live in. So I don't... I really don't give a... I can't... I cannot explain you how much I don't give a fuck about the Oscars. I don't care. I agree, man. Who's hosting? I don't even know who's hosting. I think there's no host. No host? Hosees. Mad pussy. Yo, Oscar's so pussy. That's what you should hashtag. Stop calling it a fucking Oscar. Why can't it be non-binary? Real talk. Seriously. Nah, for real. I gotta be Oscar. Oscar's male. Oscar's a male. Don't have no genitalia anyway. It looked like genitalia. Why you gotta be Oscar? Stop that. Yeah, cut that out. Get rid of that shit, yo. What should it be called? They. The Vays. From now on, we're gonna call it The Vays. Yo, that's a great point. That's what the new award show should be. Fuck the Oscars. It should be called The Vays. Yeah, The Vays. That's it. That's it. And no gender categories. At all. So just one thing. That's it. So now when you say, did they win? We all won. We all won. No winner. I like that. How are people still winning in 2020? That's disgusting. All these kids getting participation trophies, but you're actually letting people win? Shit. Winning is, is, is. No, no, you know what? Oscars is problematic. Patriarchy, man. Oscars is problematic as fuck. Very problematic, man. No, for real, they're problematic. Why else you think? They need to get with the fucking times, bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're still calling the statue a man's pronoun. Right? Right? The red carpet. How do Native Americans feel about that? Whoa. Whoa, bro. Like, come on, yo. Whoa, whoa, whoa. That's foul. That's foul. And they still got like best actor and best actress. Why? Why? Why can't it just be everyone together? Agree. You know what I mean? Like who's the best person that starred in a movie? Yeah. Why does it got to be separated by Jenna Telly? Yo, y'all problematic, bro. Very problematic. We got a lot to change. What else could we change about it? Definitely got to start with the name. Definitely. It should be the days. Yeah. Um, I think they should get rid of the supporting. Like it shouldn't be actor or actress. It should just be all one category. All one category. Um, you said what? No, they didn't. Some were surely did. No, they didn't. It was the Soul Train Awards. Soul Train Awards, um, they don't do that anymore. What about the red carpet? I don't know anything about the red and the Native American thing. Break it down for me, Andrew. Well, I mean red skins is a term, you know, as they say, their skin looks closest to red. Got you. Got you. You know, I got to pee. Um, guys, this has been a very informative episode. Very. It's always. This is business brilliant. It is at its finest. We learned a lot today. We learned a lot. Um, I hope you learned a lot. I did. Um, and we thank you. We are grateful. Very grateful for your listenership. Um, as always, if you listen to this podcast, you think we're smart. You think we're intelligent. You think we're brilliant. Absolutely right. If you listen to this podcast, you think we're just a couple of idiots who don't know shit. You're right too. It's the brilliant podcast. Thank you for listening.