 Your Coca-Cola bottler presents Claudia based on the famous play and novels by Rose Franken Brought to you transcribed Monday through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola Relax and while you're listening refresh yourself. Have a coke and now Claudia are you thirsty David? What's that? I said are you thirsty? No? Why should I be thirsty? Well, I don't know. You look thirsty. I don't feel thirsty What are you doing? I'm trying to read my newspaper. Oh Is reading such an effort for you only since I've been married. That is something else about men What is something else about men? Everything is since they've been married. They can't read since they've been married. They can't eat since they've been married They can't go out with rubber since they've been married Awful isn't it since they've been married. Who said anything about it being awful? I beat you to the draw David. I bet you eat better since you're married much last and improvement Just for that to come over and kiss you now stay away from me Don't you like to be kissed since you've been my Claudia Claudia you who little my pipe will burn your hair now I love the smell of burning hair There now you've had your kiss good doodle go on get away scat Oh, well, I get pushed around since I've been married to pity about you Why don't you go get something to drink? Well, I don't think I'm that thirsty then don't get something to drink just for that I will get something to drink Mary Mary quite contrary Anything is better than having to sit still isn't it? I don't think you realize that my getting something to drink is pure Sacrifices you want me to be able to read in peace. Well, thank you. Thank you very much. I appreciate heavens. No I am trying to keep up with our milk supply No first could quench that David. Do you realize how much milk we have? I certainly do and have you been in the icebox late. No, I have no desire to be in the icebox lately I go get yourself a glass of milk or whatever it is you want and leave me to my newspaper. I Really think the only solution is to have another baby David do you hear what I said the only solution is to have another baby. I'm ignoring you after all It's a crime to waste perfectly good milk and babies is the best thing for using it up We'll save money in the long run your ideas as to how to save money should be passed on to the treasury department. Oh Have a look at this refrigerator. I Wish you'd come in and look at this refrigerator. I prefer to know how to save money Well, that's perfectly simple one saves money when one doesn't waste things Even we have a baby in order not to waste milk. We're saving milk Therefore the baby is that much cheaper though. We save money. You follow me David Well, I wish you'd also manage to come in here and look at something you heard me All right, don't budge I'll be right back in the living room He you know certainly a good thing. We bought a refrigerator this size. That's all I can say Would have been a ruinous thing if we hadn't bought a refrigerator big enough for a call Honest we bought that refrigerator. I had no idea a car be such a much. Did you did I what? Did you think a car be so much of a much? No, I must say I never thought of it any in exactly those terms Claudia is that for me? I told you I wasn't thirsty. I don't care what you're thirsty. You're not it's milk. You have to drink it you drink it The other glasses for me. Well drink drink both of them. I will not I am floating in milk already Well then float a little more now listen David Magistrate half your car has nothing to do with the least you can do is to drink half her Claudia did will you take that glass of milk from under my nose or else? I'm going to what? No frighten me take that glass of milk off one of my nose, and I'm stuffed with dinner Wow, milk will wash it down. Oh, Claudia take it away. Oh, all right Yeah, I'll put it on the table next to you and you get thirsty and drink it I will never get thirsty again either will I but I'm drinking You see, I'm just that kind of a good sport Well, congratulations. Thanks and We would waste less milk if two of us were good sports. I look darling. I I Drank milk at dinner remember. Hmm. I drank milk at breakfast, right? I will drink a glass of milk before going to bed But and I repeat but I will not drink a glass of milk now But I'll still just leave it here on the table. Give me your newspaper What for I want to put it under the glass so I won't say in the table Can't you use a coaster for that? Coasters are on the other side of the room the papers in your lap the newspaper is not made to go under a glass of milk Whenever I say anything you don't like you call me stuffy, but it's all right. It's all right. I don't mind. It's all right No, I Never really liked milk till mama stopped telling me it was good for me. I Think that's the psychology to use You don't really like things that are good for you ever Here I am drinking a glass of milk without a thought of how good it is for my bones Don't really mind it what oh? David go on have a sip not for your bones just for me if I did have a sip It would be for my bones, you know, I had no idea majesty's milk production would be so high Did you David Matthew Warren said she was his finest milker when we bought her from him. I didn't believe him At least I just didn't believe that one cowl could give so much milk about 20 quarts a day 20 quarts. Oh No wonder it feels like so much David there is no question about it. It's either a feast or a famine with a cow right now. It's a feast Well, I'm not complaining not drinking either Yep Three weeks ago was a famine. It was not a famine The cow was dry. Well, it was a draught same thing and majesty had a cast and all of a sudden Milk milk and warm milk coming out of her ears. I mean my ears So my good man, you're gonna have to get yourself in the frame of mind to drink Look Claudia. I'm doing my fair share I I take cereal for breakfast just so I can use some milk in it. I I take my coffee with cream I used to you used to drink it black Bertha's making nothing but Souffleys and puddings and cream chicken and cream this and cream that and junk it and I Haven't seen a steak or a piece of fruit in this house for weeks And you are accusing me of not doing my fair share my my blood is turning to milk in my veins But in spite of your noble efforts, we are not keeping up with the magic throw the rest of it away throw away milk David you're insane. Nobody throws away milk these days. I didn't mean to throw it away exactly But don't expect me to take more of it. I must say I certainly never expected things to turn out like this She's a fine cow to find a cow You know, she's really not a one-family cow. Who wants a one-family cow when you have a cow you have the best Listening to you is like listening to a record that got stuck in one groove Do you realize David the kitchen starting to smell like a dairy smell the smell of a dairy is a good smell in a dairy Not all over the house David the refrigerator looks as if we're in business Bottles of milk bottles of cream bars of butter skim milk butter Do you think the calf would like a little more skim milk? Maybe no After all majesty is the calf's own mother. You think the calf to be a little more possessive about the skim milk The calf is too old to live on milk alone. She's being weaned Shouldn't have started weaning her so soon. That was our first mistake Anyway, David, I do want to take a look at the refrigerator. You must know I saw it when I came home I was thirsty. Did you have a glass of milk? No, I had a glass of Coca-Cola. David There is actually no room for anything else And all this day turning and separating and pasteurizing Majesty is a very superior cause she's too superior. Do you want to give her back? No, I don't her and the calf the spitting image of majesty. I Just don't he wish she'd dry up a little Or we could have another baby or she'd have another calf David no, no what is she gonna have another calf when now who said anything about her having another cat Claudia now, please I did not David if that calf turns out to be a call and she starts giving milk And the calf we have now gives milk and and majesty keeps on giving milk at the rate. She's giving milk David we will be a dairy farm. We're a dairy farm now. So we are Life is pretty rugged on a farm all this milk. Hmm. What about the baby? Is he drinking his share? Don't you go blaming your offspring for this superabundance? You know, I've been thinking we ought to raise some milk fed chickens and save his money Oh, sure. It's save a lot. We have to get all sorts of chicken equipped incubators wire netting chicken feed Then when we're all set The cow would go dry. That is life. It's not as if we had enough milk for us to go into business Do you mean do you mean sell it? Well, what's the matter? Yes? I mean sell it. You mean our milk sell it to somebody else You wouldn't part with an ounce of it, I suppose. Well, I just want to be sure that somebody appreciates it Why it's the best milk for miles around and you should see how much cream there is in it David I've seen that says he's never seen anything like it and you'll have to admit that it is delicious Yes, it was the first 30 quarts. I drank were fine. Maybe I ought to learn to make cheese. Oh No, we have no room the icebox for cheese Listen, maybe we ought to get a deep freeze and start storing butter. Mm-hmm, and when will we use it on a rainy day? Darling, no matter how many schemes you cook up. We'll never catch up with majesty. She's that kind of a cow She certainly makes me feel inadequate You'd never know to look at it that so much was going on behind her eyes One week she has a calf beautiful calf so full brown eyes and the next week the damn breaks and milk milk All out of the same little cow For all that she never looks that she's making any effort at all. She isn't hmm. What a business You know, I wonder if man will ever be able to invent anything as practical as a cow. I doubt it Too bad for us too good for us. Mm-hmm now that we have milk the subject dry Will you let me go back to my newspaper? All right on one condition darling. All right I'll promise anything. Thank you glass of milk. I knew it. I knew it. All right anything Claudia hmm, Claudia this This isn't milk. Well, of course it is you certainly don't think I give you anything else at this crisis Do you this is not pure milk David? Now don't shout it is pure milk. It's more than pure milk Well, what is it? It's half milk and half cream. No No Have you been up and at it since early this morning with beds dishes cleaning and countless household chores to do? Then why not pause to refresh with ice-cold Coca-Cola? Folks in offices and factories know the value of working refreshed Coke can bring you the same refreshment if you keep your home refrigerator well stocked Remember to carry home a carton of coke next time you're at the market or drugstore. Hey, Joe I brought you a little present. Well presents are always welcome. Mm-hmm. Well here have this one have a glass of milk Oh, well, uh Will you see David? Oh, no, no, no, no go right on take it. No will be shy It's not shyness. It's loyalty and preference that makes me refuse. I'm strictly a Coca-Cola man Well, I can't say I blame you for that Say Joe, can you tell me how long is this milk flood going to last cheer up David today the flood tomorrow the drought? Well, that's encouraging. I'll drink this last glass of milk with the less accusing eye. Good night, Joe night Every day Monday through Friday, Claudia comes to you transcribed with the best wishes of your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola So listen again tomorrow at the same time And now this is Joe King saying or of war and remember Whoever you are whatever you do Wherever you may be when you think of refreshment think of Coca-Cola For Coca-Cola makes any pause the pause that refreshes and ice-cold Coca-Cola is everywhere This broadcast of Claudia was supervised and directed by William Brown Maloney and now here's a word from your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola