 All right, I'm coming back to you guys, iPad 2, whatever your name is, unmute yourself. Hello. Hi. Hi. Okay, so very nice to meet you. I am new to your channel. So just kind of following along. So I'm just... First off, let's start with this. What's your name? My name's Susan. Hi, Susan. How old are you? I'm 30. All right. What you got for me? So I'm 30 and I have two kids. So I'm single. I have two kids from a previous relationship. So I was kind of trying to rape myself, but I am still very young, active. I have a lot to offer. I make great money. I have good, well-behaved children, and I am in LA dating, and I just find dating in LA so hard. So I actually don't have a problem meeting what you call high-profile men or husband. You just got a problem getting a husband. Yeah, but... Yeah, because you got two kids. So it's just the two kids thing? It's not just. It's not just. It's not just. It's big. I mean, you're 30 years old and all this career stuff. How many different fathers? One. Okay. How come you and he didn't get married? I was so young when I was in that relationship. So I met him when I was 10. How old is your oldest child? 10. How old is your youngest? Seven. So you were 23. That's when I had my daughter. Yeah. So my kid's father, she was older than me. But listen to what I'm about to say. You were younger. You were old enough to make babies. Yeah. First one at 20. Even though I'm not okay with it, you can lie to the side. But the second one, man, that's a choice. Why didn't you... Yeah. No, we were in the... I was with him for like six or seven years. But you were his wife. And that's the difference. Yeah. So if you let me explain it to you, I'll try. You're a woman that was with a man for six or seven years. And you gave him the highest honor a woman can give any man on the planet. You gave him children. You gave him not only one, you gave him two. And yet you did not require him to even bestow the title of a wife upon you. So you go back out into the market older with two children. And you expect someone in that market to accept you older and bestow the title of wife upon you. That's what... That's how men look at it, right? Wrong or indifferent. And then being in LA, one of the most competitive markets for women in the world. Competition is stiff out there. I'll be there in a couple of weeks. Beautiful women in every corner. I wouldn't say... So I do meet great men. I don't think it's hard finding a man to be permitted to. Oh, no, no, no. See, this is how we judge over here. We don't judge by dealing with dating. We judge in weddings. That's the only thing that counts. If you're not married, you're losing. Right. See, that makes it real clear because you've had everything up to that point anyway, right? I've been engaged. Right. I don't count those either. Because women, especially a lot of black women have been engaged for a long time, three, four, five engagements. See, when you make it real clear, there's a high value man or whatever you do, whatever term you're using, has any one of them married you? And the answer is no. And that's what I say. The dating market is difficult because you're not an unattractive woman. Sure, a guy will take you out for a nice date. You really want to know what we think? How tall are you? I'm five, six. I weigh 115 pounds. Yes. Oh, yeah. I'll take you out. Oh, hell, yeah, I would take you out. I don't have a problem finding men. Of course, but the thing is, but what are you finding them for though? Yeah, I would take you out, take you out, get you a nice steak and some lobster. We'd have a good old time and I would blow your back out, but I wouldn't marry you. See, what I think I really have an issue is finding men that don't want like the superficial like most, I feel like the type of guys like they just want a woman that like looks good on their arm. Yes. So like when you say, oh no, listen, let me stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop right there. Yes, that's what we want because that's who we are. And you want a man. That's the problem I have with dating. But listen, listen, listen, listen, listen. You want men not to be men. You want men to think like women. That's not what we value, ma'am. We want a beautiful woman on our arm. Yeah, that's the problem. Well, no, you're the problem. I'm the problem. Yes, you're the problem because I'm telling you what men want. You've experienced what men want and you've got a problem with it. That's your problem. We're not going to change. You're either going to get on board with it or you will die alone. So what should I be looking for then? Well, honestly, first you need to get down and understand that you have no leverage in this matter. It's the men. We control access to relationships. You control access to sex. You need to understand what a man that you would want, what he would want in a girlfriend, wife or significant other. Like a good, like a good mother. No, no, no, no, no. That changes from every man. That changes from man to man. Where's your father? Oh, I don't have, I didn't grow up with a mother or a father. All right. So due respect, you don't seem to get that men judge the way we judge. And yes, like I said, you have no problem getting men to pay you attention. You've got no problem attracting men, but getting a man to take you seriously. And would you like to be married? I would. Okay. And that's a problem because you're asking a man to become a stepfather. You're asking, let's say you're asking me to come in and take care of one man's child. A man's two children. I didn't create those. It's all downside. I've been a stepfather. It's a horrible deal. What about the men that have children of their own? They want a stepmother? Well, again, you're still acting like most men at this age. Okay. Listen, I'll answer. See, you're still speaking as if you have leverage in this thing. And I'm trying to level set you. Even if I have children, I got more options than you. I can go find a woman with no kids because I can afford both of you. If I can afford to take care of you and your kids, I can afford to take care of her and no kids. Why would I pick you and your kids? When I know your kids are not going to, I'm not their father. They'll never look at me as their father. I got all the responsibility in none of the upside of being a biological father. Can I discipline those children like they were my own? They don't need discipline. I see that's your problem. There you go, right there. She said they don't need discipline. Okay, this is why this is why if you're in frickin sane, if you don't think children, your kids are not special. They need discipline just like anyone else. Maybe you don't. Okay. Then this is the problem. I don't need they don't need discipline. So the answer is, could I could I discipline the child? Yeah. Okay. Without without without you questioning me. Yeah. If I'm like, if I choose you as my partner, like I'm have complete trust in you. Okay. So I could so I could so I could spank the children. And they don't need spanked. No, no, no, no, I could spank the C. See right there. I said I could discipline the children. You said yes. Pay attention woman. I am. You said I could discipline the children without you questioning me. Yes. So if I decide to spank them, I gotta listen to your mouth because they don't need it. That's why you need to stay single until your kids are gone. That's the choice you made when you reproduced them. And I need you ladies to understand something. You're going out here having babies without marriage and then breaking up with men. You incur consequences. We don't want those kids around us because we cannot take care of them. Cannot discipline them. We don't want to put up with all this other stuff. You're a fun woman. Guys look at you and be like, she's got two kids and she's five foot six hundred fifteen. She's a lot of fun. She's obviously sexually active. I'll have a good time with you, but no way got not no, not no way, but very unlikely the man's going to take you seriously, especially when you start talking because I believe what you're telling me is honestly and I'm like, who wants this deal? Who doesn't want this deal? A beautiful woman that is a great mother. Right. Has a great career. Don't care about don't care about your career. Strong, like I'm submissive. But listen, did you hear what I just said? Okay, did you hear what I just said? Don't care about your career. Yeah, the thing is, ma'am, it's the two kids. That's the two kids. Everything you're saying does not overcome the deficit that two children bring. If you if I mean, like you have money, that doesn't matter to you. If you have what I said, you have money. That doesn't matter to you. I have more. You have what I have more, more, more money. I have more money than you. I have more money than I have more money and I can go over there and get her. She's 25. She has no kids and I don't have to deal with any of the stuff we just talked about. She's 25, agreeable, cooperative fit and ready to get on my program, have butt-naked freaky circus sex and she's happy to be there and experience all these new things. I'm dealing with a 30-year-old woman who's got her mind. Listen, okay. See, when this conversation is over, I go back to my wonderful life. You go back to your life still trying to figure these things out and I'm just trying to help you, lady. I'm not saying you're not everything you're saying you are. Don't try to settle down for the next like eight years. But you're not, okay. And who is actively pursuing you to be their wife? I mean, I got, I got options. Who is actively pursuing you to be their wife? I've got options. I just, I don't really like. Ma'am, you didn't know. No, that would be a fiance. See, this is where the truth comes in. You can either, ma'am, you don't have these kind of options. And I'm trying to explain, okay, then you wouldn't be here. If you actually had options of the kind of, the kind and caliber of men that you want, then they were really considering you to be their wife. You wouldn't be here right now. I know. I'm just kind of like learning about, I mean, I'm new here. So I've, this is like my first time like really watching the video. Well, but the thing is ma'am, you're still a, you're a baby mama of two. And are you telling me you're dating someone seriously? Oh, I, yeah. I always have options. I'm going to ask you one more time. And if you are vague, I'm going to bid you a good night. Just asking you, are you dating someone seriously? Yeah. How long have you guys been seeing one another? It's been like two years. Two years. Has he expressed any desire to make you his wife? Yes. Has he taken you ring shopping in the last two years? We've been ring shopping. Yeah. When? About three months ago. Three months ago. But to see the guy that like really just like sparks like my, I don't know, it just doesn't feel like someone I want to be with forever. So that's, that's why I go back to the first thing I asked you, are you telling me you are seeing someone and they're the man who's actually considering you as the man you want to be with? And you said I've got options. And you just went through this convoluted way of getting right down to, I got somebody. This is hard to explain my love life. Well, well, no, man, what it is, is it's hard for you to deal with the truth. What it is is, one, you don't have a man that you want considering you to be his wife. You got a man that you don't want who sounds like he would take you, but you don't want to marry him. That's why it's been two years. This is why you're on here trying to figure it out and I'm only trying to help you, but it seems like you'd rather argue or be right than listen. No, I'm not trying to argue. Okay. Well, then I need you to understand that your children are a massive impediment. How about this? Would you like to have additional children? I would. How many? Oh, maybe two. One to two. So let's say you and I were to get married. What you automatically set up is you get pregnant on our wedding night and you give birth to Kevin Jr. Then a year after that, you give birth to Kim. Kevin and Kim are my biological children with you, right? Okay. Then I still have to take care of your two other children, right? So we have four. Four kids in the house. Kevin and Kim are mine. If I decide to spank Kevin, you can't say shit to me because he's mine biologically. You can't tell me to listen. Okay. You're going to sit there and zip your mouth and let me get through the example before you say something. Can you do that? Give me a minute. Kevin and Kim are mine. They're my financial responsibility and you cannot pull the mommy card on me because biologically you can't, you can't one up me. You can't play the high joker. You can't say these are, those aren't, but when it comes to your children, they're your children. I've got to discipline them in line with what you think is right. So I got two kids, two sets of kids in the house under two sets of rules. That's madness. I've seen it. No one, men don't want that, man. Can you understand that? That's the problem with having children already because you would have two kids by me, two kids over here, but yet if they wanted to go to college, I'm still supposed to pay for it. If your children want to go to college, I still, I got to put a roof over their head, food in their bellies and provide for them just like I was providing for Kevin and Kim. Except Kevin and Kim, let's say you and I divorced. Kevin and Kim are mine. I still got visitation. Do I necessarily have anything with those kids? If you decided not to let me see my step kids, you could cut that bond. You ladies never think of it from a man's side. It's all what you want. And like you said, you want a man to not be into all this superficial stuff and that, and that, which means you really don't give a damn what we think. We're just supposed to come in and do what you need. That's fine, but you better be offering a hell of a deal. And I'd have to hear that. Only because of the kids? Well, the kids are big, ma'am. They are big. I mean, and here's the thing, you do have the option because you say only cause of the kids, but that's a big deal. Would you date a, so you dating a woman with children is like off the table for you? I married a woman with a child, ma'am. I understand what I'm talking about. Am I just doing? No, I would not date a woman with a child. No, I would not. Gotcha. I've been there. And the thing is, where's the children's father? Oh, I left him. Where is he alive? Yeah. Is he involved in the children's life at all? Yeah. Then if you really are serious, give custody to the father. Go off with your new husband and make a new family. Oh, I couldn't do that. Well, then guess what? Buy a dog and wait till they're out of the house, ma'am, because I've talked about women like you all the time. You're not willing to give anything up. I asked you about discipline. They don't need this. They don't need that. Give up custody. I don't can't do that, ma'am. You're not fit. I mean, no disrespect, ma'am, but you're not really fit to be with somebody. You want someone to fit into your particular jagged life, and why would a man who has options choose that just because you're attractive? I mean, you're attractive, but in LA, that's a dime a dozen. I mean, you'd have to understand that, though. No, I do know that, but I think I'm more valuable than just the way I look. What? I'd say I'm definitely more valuable than just my looks. Granted, granted. I'm never saying that you're not. Like, I'm from the Midwest. I'm a good Midwestern girl. I'm not an LA girl, so I'm not that good. I'm from Oklahoma, ma'am. I'm from the Midwest, too. But what I'm saying is, okay, let's try it this way. I don't know. I hear you love this. What would the kind of man that you want? What would he want from a woman? From a wife. From a wife? He would, I think, what I value just at the end of the day is just pure connection. Like, do I love? It's just love. There's nothing else. Do I want this person? Do I look up to this person? Do I feel like this person is a good person? You know, do we share the same values, the same morals? Like, is there laughter, joy, excitement? What does he want from a wife, ma'am? And you gave me... Oh, what does he want from, like, just a wife? Like, maybe just a good housewife, a woman that cooks for him. Okay, ma'am, so let me ask you a question. Will your mother and father marry? No. All right. Then you were not raised to be a housewife. No, I don't think I will. I definitely will not raise to be a housewife. That's for sure. But I can't give up on that hope and that dream that I find the right person. Look, I'm going to slap the smack out of you. I'll let you go, ma'am, but you cannot overtalk me. I've tried to be nice, ma'am, but you're not going to do that. Look, you weren't raised to be a housewife. And you just said the kind of man that you would want, what he would want as a good housewife, then he wouldn't want you because you're not one. By your own admission, you're not one. I wasn't raised to be one. Which means you're not one. But I had great influences. If you had such great influences, why don't you just witness was pretty privilege. She's used to getting by on her above average looks, but she's got below average outcomes. And no matter how I tried to talk to her, she's going to sit there and stamp her feet. Because she was going to get her way. I'm not trying.