 It's taken our midst growth to teach his English at Madison High School quite a few years to learn how to get along with their principal, our good conchlin. But lately, even in his more difficult mood, he's found ways of getting around it. Yes, and one of the best ways is up the fire escape on the other side of the building. This is the route I took to class most of last week, when our beloved principal was on one of his infamous economy drives. This newest campaign was particularly ill-timed, since Mr. Boyden badly needed new equipment for his laboratory, and since I badly needed a new desk in my classroom, I was pretty depressed. For three days, my landlady saw the bloom gathering, and Thursday morning at breakfast, he tried to dispel it. Colonel, don't you want to let me hear about your problem? I'd love to, Mrs. Davis, but it's really nothing you can help me with. Well, all right, dear, if you don't choose to discuss it, I certainly won't surprise. Thanks, Mrs. Davis. I think I'd better keep this to myself, let's just say. But I know that, to me, I'd want to tell someone about Mr. Conchlin's economy drive, and how it's going to affect Mr. Boyden's getting a new laboratory equipment, and you're getting a new desk in your classroom. As I say, I think I'd better keep this to yourself. Mrs. Davis, how did you find out about it? Well, dear, when I went into a wake in me this morning, you were talking about it in your sleep. How did I sound? The ear is a bell. Good, I'm glad I didn't confuse you by mumbling. Mr. Conchlin's newest economy drive is designed to convince the state examiner that he can flash our school budget when he visits Madison today. Well, there's no point in worrying about it this minute, is there? Dear, dear, why not read the comics? It'll take your mind off things for a while. No, thanks, Mrs. Davis. I have enough pride to be in my own life. Well, you don't mind if I grant you things on the front page, dear? No, indeed. That'll give me a perfect chance to look at the lawn pads on the back page. Well, all in all, fame, war, crime, and crime is between. But this picture right here on the front page... Conchlin, he's out. He's out. We ain't ducks and he's out. I had no idea he was in. Who's William Conchlin? Oh, that's right. You wouldn't know. It happened before you came here. Well, William Conchlin was a crook, a housebreaker, and Mr. Conchlin was involved in the case. Mr. Conchlin? Yes. You see, Mr. Conchlin was convicted of armed robbery and be sentenced to prison for 10 years. I see. And they made Mr. Conchlin principal of Madison High. Mr. Conchlin was foreman of the jury that convicted Donaldson. The jury was split 11-to-1 for releasing him. But gradually, Mr. Conchlin convinced them all of this point of view. It sounds like the jury was made up of his faculty. But why get so excited, Mrs. Davis? There are bad people in these innocent. And when we heard what had happened, he said, Well, as soon as he got out, he'd find Mr. Conchlin in prison. And he got out yesterday. Yes. This jury says he was thrown yesterday. Well, he'll have to hurry if he wants to do us any good. Mr. Conchlin, this is no laughing matter. Look at this picture of Mr. Dodson. Look at that thick black hair on those eyebrows. That menacing scowl. That black scar down the side of his face. Does this look like the face of a man who wouldn't use a gun? This looks like the face of a man who wouldn't have to use a gun. There is victim to this. Mrs. Davis, all this happened many years ago. Dodson's certainly forgotten about his threat by now, anyway. Well, that probably wasn't a drug to school. Come on in, Walter. I'd better go out and get the boys some breakfast. Do you think this book turned out to be one of the blackest days in Madison's annals? What's the matter, Walter? Our football team has had to suspend practice. Why, Walter? No coast? No football. I couldn't think of a better reason if I tried all winter. Certainly, Mr. Conchlin's autonomy drive hasn't been carried that far. Oh, Father, period tells me the only reason Mr. Conchlin's doing it is for the state examiner to see that Madison can operate on a reduced budget while he's here today. What would happen if the budget if Mr. Conchlin never saw the examiner? I suppose it would remain the same. Oh, something's got to be done. But I think it's gotten so bad even the school cut 40 in quick yesterday. The school cut 30? Yeah, Mr. Conchlin cut his salary from $50 a week to $35 across all the coal he could carry home. Now, Walter, are you going to get any man to work for $35 unless the fellow's desperate? Or did not it work for years? Or just out of prison? I think I've got a little idea that will enter our purpose just as well as an accident. It merely involves frightening our principal a bit. You mean he'll carry a lot of his wits at first? No, Walter, just out of school for a day or two. Daddy, how far can you carry your time? I can't carry my time. I can't carry my time. I can't carry my time. Daddy, how far can you carry your timey program? Watch me. I can still live for the benefit of my school. But this year's budget provides... Harriet, this year's budget is subject to revision as soon as Mr. Monaghan arrives this afternoon. All right, right now I have the more pressing problem of replacing our school custodian. Is that part of what I'm saying, Daddy? Or the idea of offering a man $35 and all the coal he can carry home? Where are you going to get a man for that? You may have a point there, Darrell, but my offer is a bit low. Well, of course it is. Well, if I get a really good man, I'll make it all the coal both he and his wife can carry on. But, Daddy, I'm not through yet. Oh, if I were a betting man... Harriet, just leave us. Come in. Good morning, Mr. Johnson. Morning, Harriet. Oh, hi, Miss Brooke. Harriet was just on her way out, Miss Brooke. Oh, but, Daddy, I... Miss Brooke, would you kindly say Harriet's just left? Harriet's just left? Thank you. And now, Harriet, you wouldn't want to make a liar out of Miss Brooke, would you? Oh, all right. Bye, Miss Brooke. Bye, Harriet. I don't know. I can't remember anything like that. I just thought that I didn't have anything to do with you. I don't know. They are stupid. I'm so stupid. They're asking me not to hire you. I hope I haven't lost you. I don't know. Are you Mr. Johnson? Yes, I do. Oh, that's splendid. Splendid. At least you're worth $35. And you said you were in the coal. And you're free to carry on. Yes, he said that he'd be around when he left his life, and I'd say before yesterday. Yeah, okay. You live here. You live in the last living room. Oh, that's all. He's been living in the same place I've ever once lived. That's fine, huh? That's a great name, Miss Brooke. William Dodson. William Dodson. That's a good name, Miss Armingone. That has a real connection to the world. What does that mean? William! Miss Brooke! We were talking! He is in Dan Hara, or is an Ottoman being Devil's Island. Oh, Mr. Johnson. No, Mr. Armingone. I was told that the jury would send him to jail for years, seven years ago. Wait a minute. He can't be out of jail. He can't. He can't. William Dodson, the ex-convict, he was released, would be in the box. Probably right on the front page. Listen, now you can see it. I haven't read this morning's OBS, but I have it right here on my desk. Oh, that's too nice. I don't know if it would be useful for all of us. Miss Brooke is him! Miss Brooke is him! I recognize that place anywhere. It's right here. Where is he? Maybe it's John L. Lewis. William Dodson is out. He's been for long. I have to kill him. Please help me. Think of something. There's one thing you can do, Miss Dodson. Get out of town. Or better still, get out of the room. Good idea, Miss Brooke. I'll get out of the station. I'll kill you in another day. It would be a violation of this law. I'll grab the first train. Where there's no time to lose. I'll leave it to you. Miss Brooke, I'll see you when it's blowed over. Well, that worked even better than I thought it would. Mr. Conklin, how is your trip? What was I thinking of? I can't believe it. Now what about my new budget? I'll take it with you by all means. There's something to read on the train. No, no, no. You don't understand. Mr. Lonegan will be here at three o'clock. It's his only day in town. I can't just find him. You can't just find me either. What about Dodson? I'll keep putting most of today, Miss Brooke. When you see Dodson, tell him the job is filled. Tell him one horse moves and he'll be back up the river. Yes, sir, but I hope he gets here before three. Why? Because after that I'll be up to three. Well, Mr. Conklin decided he would remain in school but in hiding until the state examiner arrived that afternoon. He kept himself so well hidden in fact that none of us had the slightest idea where he was. That is, until I had occasion to go into the female faculty room to relax for a few moments. I think that the softest, most comfortable armchair I could find and flopped into it. You must get off me, Vison. Well, by noon when I went down to pick up Mr. Boynton for lunch, I was a bit more wary. When I entered his laboratory, however, I was due for one more shock. Mr. Boynton's face looked as if he was made up for N-Man on the minstrel show. Of course, he had a ready explanation. I ran into Mr. Conklin, Mr. Where? Inside the furnace? He gave me the task of turning the furnace when I ran into him in the infirmary. The infirmary? Yes, these signals will leave him under the bed. When are you enjoying under there? All those trains would need accounting for weeks. It's just another hiding place, at his, Mr. Inverlockeber. Oh, Mr. Boynton. Really? I thought Walter was exaggerating when he told me how you frightened him this morning. Imagine, Mr. Conklin, worrying about one insignificant for old prisoner. Particularly when he's got so many un-for-old ones on his own property. But I'm fortunate that he wasn't frightened enough to leave school. Well, it seemed almost worth it, Mr. But I can't understand when a man seems so frightened of anyone else. I can frankly say I fear no man. I know. You concentrate on women. Here, you'd better use my mirror and wipe the suit off your face, Mr. Boynton. Oh, yes. Thanks, Mr. Conklin. Hey, will you look at me? I really do look like an in-man in a minstrel show. All I need is some lipstick around my mouth and the disguise would be complete. It's as an offer, I accept. It would, wouldn't it? Now, if you're through, Mr. Boynton, we'd better be on our way to London. Well, if you don't mind this, Mr. I'd like to clean out my rabbit cage before I go. Better look inside first. Mr. Conklin may be hiding in there. Guys, in his frame of mind, there must be some way of frightening him out of school before three. I don't see how, Mr. Mr. Boynton actually did appear, and that sort of thing simply doesn't happen. Except for Gary Cooper. Forget about the rabbit cage and let's go to London. All right. After you, Mr. Hey, hey, excuse me. Yes? I'm looking for a guy named Oscar Conklin. I tried in his office, but they didn't know where he was. Would either of you know him? Well, yes. If you take a right at the first ash can, then a left at the next infirmary bed, then go straight ahead. You may find him in one of the drain pipes. We don't know where he is either. No, we haven't decided that. I said, pardon me, but you look awfully familiar. Haven't I seen your face somewhere before? It's possible. If you looked over this morning's paper. Oh, I looked over it, but you're definitely not Mrs. Davis. However, I'm sure I... The morning paper. Of course. You're William Dodson. That's right. William Dodson. Oh, don't shoot. Please don't shoot. Or do anything you say, only please don't shoot. Read your publicity. Shoot Mr. Conklin. Conklin? Oh, no. You got me all wrong. Why, I haven't even got a gun. No gun? What are you going to do? Pardon them? Sadden with an eye? Don't make it anything too messy. He cut the cleaning woman's salary, too. What method do you intend to use? Strangling? Poisoning? What method? Ladies, the only reason I'm here is to thank Mr. Conklin. Now that's the method I would never have thought of. Thank him. You're here to thank him. But he's the man who convinced the whole jury that you were guilty. I know. And I'll be grateful too as long as I live. It wasn't so fascinating, I think. How would you possibly be grateful to him for sending you to jail? A lady, you don't know what's life. For the first time I was living a good, clean life. Good food, plenty of exercise. I had absolutely no worries. My hours were regular, my time my own. I got loads of rest. Mr. Boyden, you know any good banks we could stick up? But in spite of all that, you were in prison. Yes, and it was Mr. Conklin who put you there. And you did threaten to shoot him when you got out. Lady, that was when I was still a crook with no education. Well, you know, I went to a high school while I was in prison. I knew it, that ruined most people. You certainly got a lot more out of it than most people. Well, if you're so determined to thank him, Mr. Dodson, could you please put it off until tomorrow? That's it, threaten him today and thank him tomorrow. I don't even know what you two are talking about, but I've been waiting seven long years to thank Mr. Conklin, and today's the day I'm going to do it. Just as soon as I can find him. Then find him your will, Mr. Dodson, and I know Mr. Boyden will be delighted to help you. Yes, I just recalled Mr. Conklin going down to the boiler room to see the new school custodian. You know, Mr. Boyden, the room with the big heavy door with the big lock. Oh, yes, the boiler room. Come on, Mr. Dodson, I'll take you down there. Thanks, but I won't be putting you out while I... Oh, I don't mind putting myself out a little. No, indeed. Particularly when it's more important to put someone else in. With the state examiner do any minute and Dodson locks in the locker room, it's the only chance we've got, Walter. Yeah, but if this doesn't get Mr. Conklin out of school, what are we going to do, Mr. Brook? I may consider blasting. No, but we've got to do the trick. Particularly if Mrs. Davis and Mr. Boyden come through as hoped for. Oh, I'm sure they will. Well, here we are. Now, are you certain the invisible man, Mr. Conklin, is in his office? Well, I can't be positive, Mr. Brook, but five minutes ago, I did see someone sneak in in Miss M. Wright's coat in hand. That's Mr. Conklin. Oh, that's funny. But I put a warning with him there. Oh, he's in there. It's just difficult to hear anything from under the desk. Oh, OK. Good luck, Mr. Mr. Conklin. Mr. Conklin. Oh, oh, would you, Mr. Goodness, I almost wrenched my back under the desk. The moment I thought it was you know who. Well, that's what I came in to see you about, sir. You know who Godson is coming. I'm going. When did you speak to him, Mr. I finally spoke to him on the phone two minutes ago. I told him he was fired, but he didn't take it at all well. What do you mean? He said he'd be right over to kill you. You don't need it once, sir. He'll be here in a minute. He breaks the ceiling. Mr. Conklin. Forgive me for breaking in like this, sir, but get out as quick as you can. Please, for your life, he's in the building. He's in the building? Who's in the building? Me, that's who. It's Godson, Mr. Conklin. Yes, sir. Get out while you still can. It was all I could do to get him ahead of him to warn you. But Mr. Conklin spoke to him on the phone two minutes ago, boy. Yes, yes, yes, one. You didn't tell him the truth about where I was, did you, boy? No, I had to, sir. He forced me to. The point of a gun, Mr. Conklin. The point of a gun. Send it through. He's got a gun. If he said it this way, I can't get out in time. Quick, lock the door. Never mind him. I'll do it, I'll do it. Yes. That ought to hold him from the door. All right, Conklin, you rascal. I waited seven long years for this. And they've all got joined, old mollum. We've got to go. Don't worry, sir. We three are bound to miss. It's the law of every day. Please, Mr. Donklin, please, I dispute you. You still are principal. There's only one life to use. What hundreds of us kids depend on him? The law is begging for your life, sir. What do you expect? That idiot Dent is always begging for something. Hey, hey, hey, hey! This is where Conklin gets it. Where's Conklin? If you won't open up, I'll get a fire-ass and break the door down. And you, you're going to get an accident. Break the door down. This I got to see. Now it's your turn, sir. My turn. Why leave the way? You can escape through your inner office. Oh, yes, yes, I never thought of that. You are in the office. I'll leave it one minute. Yes. Hello, Mr. Conklin. Remember me, William Dotson? Oh, no. I'm sorry, I haven't time now to renew old acquaintances. Oh, no! There's a maniac on the loose outside and he's a... Wait a minute! Don't shoot! Please, don't shoot! I beg of you, please, don't shoot, please! Oh, Lord, Mr. Conklin, I don't know what this is all about, but I'm not here to kill you. Yes. Not here to kill me? You're threatening me a minute ago outside the door? I don't understand. Oh, I do, sir. This man is obviously an imposter. You can still escape if you go. Mr. Conklin, hiding you is the hardest thing for my mind. Wait, while I was in jail, I became a completely honest man. But seven years ago, you swore you'd kill me when you got out. Yes, and if you're so honest, the only thing you can do is to keep your word. Sir, the reason I came by today was to thank you. You came by to thank me? Sir, you're not going to believe that after what you just heard outside the door? Mr. Conklin, I'll always be grateful to you for giving me the seven best years of my life. But when I told these people I wanted to thank you, they locked me in the boiler room. What? Oh, we had to. How did we know what to do after he thanked you? After all, you heard him press you. How do you know what he'll do next? Look, there's still time to escape, sir. All right, Conklin. I'll give you three to open up, and then I'll break the nerd out of you. There's still time for Mr. Boynton and me to escape. Come on, Mr. Boynton. Yes, sir. Come on, Mr. Boynton. Yes, sir. Now, who would that be? Maybe Dodson has a twin brother, sir. I suppose we open the door and find out who it is, shall we? I just assume we remain in the dark if it's all the same to you. Well, hello, Margaret. Don't play with me, you punk. It's no use, Mrs. Davis. I'm sure you recognize it yourself. I have a feeling this hand that people by my face wouldn't do much good. Not only do I recognize you, Margaret, but I finally recognize Miss Machiavelli's little scheme. He thought he'd frighten me off the premises before Mr. Lomigun arrived, didn't he, Mr. Oste? My wife will remember that my fasciners think I'll be met. This is your son. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. This is your faculty? Boy, am I glad I took my high school courses by correspondence. You haven't a thing on me. I wish I'd talked that way. Mr. Compton, I know all this looks bad, but we had to do something. What did we have done after you presented your revised budget to Mr. Lomigun? You would have done extremely well, Gordon, since I had revised it approximately upward. Upward? Upward? Upward. So you can close your collective mouse now. My emergency program was designed to convince Mr. Lomigun that no school could exist on our current expenditures. The revised budget is right over here on the chair. Anybody who's here to see it before I make one more revision? One more revision? Yes, Mr. Compton. Now, if you'll excuse me, sir, I too have one revision to make around here. Well, why did you take that windowpane? Since the window was locked, it was the only way I could jump out. I'm sorry, Mr. Compton. I'm sorry, the division was interrupted by Larry Bane. Mr. Compton was played by Gear Gordon. Others in tonight's class were Jane Morgan, Rick Senna, Bob Rockwell, Gloria McMillan, and Mary Jane Cross. This is Wendell Niles inviting you to be with us again next Sunday at the same time for another comedy episode of Our Miss Brooks. This is the CBS Radio National.