 CHAPTER XIX Friday, January 19, lunch 8.1. Temperature, negative 22.6 degrees. Early in the March, we picked up Norwegian cairn and our outward tracks. We followed these to the ominous black flag, which had first surprised us of our predecessor's success. We've picked this flag up using the staff for our sail and are now camped about one-and-a-half miles further back on our tracks. So that is the last of the Norwegians for the present. The surface undulates considerably about this latitude. It was more evident today than when we were outward bound. Night camp, R2. Footnote. A number preceded by R marks the camps on the return journey. End of footnote. Height, 9,700 feet. Temperature, negative 18.5 degrees. Minimum, negative 25.6 degrees. Came along well this afternoon for three hours, then a rather dreary finish for the last one-and-a-half. Weather very curious. Snow clouds looking very dense and spoiling the light. Pass overhead from the south, dropping very minute crystals. Between the showers the sun shows and the wind goes to the southwest. The fine crystals absolutely spoil the surface. We had heavy dragging during the last hour in spite of the light load and a full sail. Our old tracks are drifted up, deep in places, and toothed sastry ghee have formed over them. It looks as though this sandy snow was drifted about like sand from place to place. How account for the present state of our three-day old tracks and the month-old ones of the Norwegians? It is warmer and pleasanter marching with the wind, but I'm not sure we don't feel the cold more when we stop and camp than we did on the outward march. We pick up our cairns easily and ought to do so right through, I think, but of course one will be a bit anxious till a three-degree depot is reached. Footnote. Still over 150 miles away, they had marched seven miles on the homeward track the first afternoon, 18-and-a-half the second day. End of footnote. I'm afraid the return journey is going to be dreadfully tiring and monotonous. Saturday, January 20th, lunch camp, 9,810. We have come along very well this morning, although the surface was terrible bad. 9.3 miles in five hours, 20 minutes. This has brought us to our southern depot and we pick up four days food. We carry on seven days from tonight with 55 miles to go to the half-degree depot made on January 10th. The same sort of weather and a little more wind, sail drawing well. Night camp, R3, 9,860. Temperature, negative 18 degrees. It was blowing quite hard and drifting when we started our afternoon march. At first, with full sail, we went along at a great rate. Then we got on to an extraordinary surface, the drifting snow lying in heaps. It clung to the ski which could only be pushed forward with an effort. The pulling was really awful, but we went steadily on and camped a short way beyond our cairn of the 14th. I'm afraid we're in for a bad pull again tomorrow. Luckily, the wind holds. I shall be very glad when Bowers gets his ski. I'm afraid he must find these long marches very trying with short legs, but he is an undefeated little sportsman. I think oats is feeling the cold and fatigue more than the rest of us. It is blowing pretty hard tonight, but with a good march, we've earned one good hoosh and we're very comfortable in the tent. It is everything now to keep up a good marching pace. I trust we shall be able to do so and catch the ship. Total march, 18 and a half miles. Sunday, January 21st, R4, 10,010 feet. Temperature, blizzard, negative 18 degrees and negative 11 degrees to negative 14 degrees now. Awoke to a stiff blizzard, air very thick with snow and sun very dim. Decided not to march owing to the likelihood of losing track. Expected at least a day of layup, but whilst at lunch there was a sudden clearance and the wind dropped to a light breeze. We got ready to march, but the gear was so iced up we did not get away until 3.45. Marched until 7.40, a terribly weary four-hour drag. Even with helping wind, we only did five and a half miles, six and a quarter statute. The surf is bad, horribly bad, on new Sastra-Gee and decidedly rising again in elevation. We're going to have a pretty hard time this next hundred miles, I expect. If it was difficult to drag downhill over this belt, it will probably be a good deal more difficult to drag up. Luckily the cracks are fairly distinct, though we only see our cairns when less than a mile away. 45 miles to the next depot and six days food in hand. Then pick up seven days food, temperature negative 22 degrees, and 90 miles to go to the three-degree depot. Once there we ought to be safe, but we ought to have a day or two in hand on arrival and may have difficulty with following the tracks. However, if we can get a rating site for our watches tomorrow, we shall be independent of the tracks at a pinch. Monday, January 22nd, 10,000 feet, temperature negative 21 degrees. I think about the most tiring march we've had, solid pulling the whole way, in spite of the light sledge and some little helping wind at first. Then, in the last part of the afternoon, the sun came out and almost immediately we had the whole surface covered with soft snow. We got away sharp at eight and marched to solid nine hours, and thus we have covered 14.5 miles geographic. But by Jove it has been a grind. We are just about on the 89th parallel. Tonight Bauer's got a rating site. I'm afraid we've passed out of the wind area. We're within two and a half miles of the sixty-fourth camp cairn, thirty miles from our depot, and with five days food in hand. Ski boots are beginning to show signs of wear. I trust we shall have no giving out of ski or boots since there are yet so many miles to go. I thought we were climbing today, but the barometer gives no change. Tuesday, January 23rd, lowest minimum last night, negative 30 degrees. Temperature at start, negative 28 degrees. Lunch height, 10,100 feet. Temperature with wind six to seven, negative 19 degrees. Little wind and heavy marching at start. Then wind increased and we did 8.7 miles by lunch when it was practically blowing a blizzard. The old track shows so remarkably well that we can follow them without much difficulty. A great piece of luck. In the afternoon we had to reorganize. Could carry a whole sail. Bauer's hung on to the sledge. Evans and Oates had to lengthen out. We came along at a great rate and should have got with an easy march if our depot had not Wilson suddenly discovered that Evans's nose was frostbitten. It was white and hard. We thought it best to camp at 6.45. Got the tent up with some difficulty and now pretty cozy after a good hoosh. There is no doubt Evans is a good deal run down. His fingers are badly blistered and his nose is rather seriously congested with frequent frostbites. He is very much annoyed with himself, which is not a good sign. I think Wilson, Bauer's and I are as fit as possible under the circumstances. Oates gets cold feet. One way and another I shall be glad to get off the summit. We're only about 13 miles from our degree and a half depot and we should be there tomorrow. The weather seems to be breaking up. Pray God we have something of a track to follow to the three degree depot. Once we pick that up we ought to be right. Wednesday, January 24th, lunch temperature negative eight degrees. Things beginning to look a little serious. A strong wind at the start has developed into a full blizzard at lunch and we've had to get into our sleeping bags. It was a bad march but we covered seven miles. At first Evans and then Wilson went ahead to scout for tracks. Bauer's guided the Sledge alone for the first hour. Then both Oates and he remained alongside it. They had a fearful time trying to make the pace between the soft patches. At twelve thirty the sun coming ahead made it impossible to see the tracks further and we had to stop. By this time the gale was at its height and we had the dickens of a time getting up the tent, cold fingers all around. We were only seven miles from our depot but I made sure we should be there tonight. This is the second full gale since we left the pole. I don't like the look of it. Is the weather breaking up? If so God help us. With a tremendous summit journey and scant food. Wilson and Bauer's are my stand by. I don't like the easy way in which Owens and Evans get frostbitten. Thursday January 25th. Temperature lunch negative 11 degrees. Temperature night negative 16 degrees. Thank God we found our half degree depot. After lying in our bags yesterday afternoon and all night we debated breakfast. Decided to have it later and go without lunch. At the same time the gale seemed as bad as ever but during breakfast the sun showed and there was light enough to see the old track. It was a long and terribly cold job digging out our sledge and breaking camp but we got through and on the march without sail all pulling. This was about eleven and at about two thirty to our joy we saw the red depot flag. We had lunch and left with nine and a half days provisions still following the track marched until eight and covered over five miles over twelve in the day. Only eighty nine miles geographic to the next depot but it's time we cleared off this plateau. We are not without ailments. Owens suffers from a very cold foot. Evans's fingers and nose are in a bad state and tonight Wilson is suffering tortures from his eyes. Bauer's and I are the only members of the party without troubles just at present. The weather still looks unsettled and I fear a succession of blizzards at this time of year. The wind is strong from the south and this afternoon has been very helpful with a full sail. Needless to say I shall sleep much better with our provision bag full again. The only real anxiety now is the finding of the three-degree depot. The tracks seem as good as ever so far sometimes for thirty or forty yards we lose them under drifts but then they reappear quite clearly raised above the surface. If the light is good there is not the least difficulty in following. Blizzards are our bugbear not only stopping our marches but the cold damp air takes it out of us. Bauer's got another rating site tonight. It was wonderful how he managed to observe in such a horribly cold wind. He has been on ski today whilst Wilson walked by the sledge or pulled out of it. Friday January 26th temperature negative 17 degrees height 9700 must be a high barometer. Started late 850 for no reason as I called the hands rather early we must have fewer delays. There was a good stiff breeze and plenty of drift but the tracks held. To our old blizzard camp of the 7th we got on well seven miles but beyond the camp we found the tracks completely wiped out. We searched for some time and then marched on a short way and lunched the weather gradually clearing though the wind holding. Knowing there were two cairns at four mile intervals we had little anxiety until we picked up the first far on our right then steering right by a stroke of fortune and Bauer's sharp eyes caught the glimpse of the second far on the left. Evidently we had made a bad course outward at this point. There is not a sign of our tracks between these cairns but the last marking our night camp of the 6th number 59 is in the belt of hard sastry ghee and I was comforted to see signs of the track reappearing as we camped. I hope to goodness we can follow it tomorrow. We marched 16 miles geographic today but made good only 15.4 Saturday January 27th R10 temperature negative 16 degrees lunch negative 14.3 degrees evening minimum negative 19 degrees height 9,900 feet barometer low cold hands a half hour late but we got away in good time. The four noon march was over the belt of storm tossed sastry ghee it looked like a rough sea. Wilson and I pulled in front on ski the remainder on foot it was very tricky work following the track which pretty constantly disappeared and in fact only showed itself by faint signs anywhere a foot or two of raised sledge track a dozen yards of the trail of the sledge meter wheel or a spatter of hard snowflakes where feet had trodden sometimes none of these were distinct but one got an impression of the lines which guided the trouble was that on the outward track one had to shape course constantly to avoid the heaviest mounds and consequently there were many zigzags we lost a good deal over a mile by these halts in which we unharnessed and went on the search for signs however by hook or crook we managed to stick on the old track came on the cairn quite suddenly march passed it and camped for lunch at seven miles in the afternoon the sastry ghee gradually diminished in size and now we are on fairly level ground today the obstruction practically at an end and to our joy the track showing up much planer again for the last two hours we had no difficulty at all in following them there has been a nice helpful severely breeze all day a clear sky and comparatively warm temperature the air is dry again so the tents and equipment are gradually losing their icy condition imposed by the blizzard conditions of the past week our sleeping bags are slowly but surely getting wetter and i'm afraid that it will take a lot of this weather to put them right however we all sleep well enough in them the hour is allowed being now on the short side we are slowly getting more hungry and it would be an advantage to have a little more food especially for lunch if we get to the next depot in a few marches it is now less than 60 miles and we have a full week's food we ought to be able to open out a little but we can't look for a real feed until we get to the pony food depot a long way to go and by jove this is tremendous labor sunday january 28th lunch negative 20 degrees height night 10 130 feet r11 supper temperature negative 18 degrees little wind and heavy going in the forenoon we just ran out eight miles in five hours and added another eight and three hours 40 minutes in the afternoon with a good wind and better surface it is very difficult to say if we're going up or downhill the barometer is quite different from outward readings we're 43 miles from the depot with six days food in hand we are camped opposite our lunch cairn of the fourth only half a day's march from the point at which the last supporting party left us three articles were dropped on our outward march oats's pipe bower's is fer mitts and evans' night boots we picked up the boots and mitts on the track and tonight we found the pipe lying placidly in sight on the snow the sludge tracks were very easy to follow today they're becoming more and more raised giving a good line shadow often visible half a mile ahead if this goes on and the weather holds we shall get our depot without trouble i shall indeed be glad to get it on the sledge we're getting more hungry there is no doubt the lunch meal is beginning to seem inadequate we're pretty thin especially evans but none of us are feeling worked out i doubt if we could drag heavy loads but we can keep going well with our light one we talk of food a good deal more and shall be glad to open out on it monday january 29th r-12 lunch temp negative 23 degrees supper temp negative 25 degrees height 10 000 feet excellent march of 19 and a half miles 10.5 before lunch wind helping greatly considerable drift tracks for the most part very plain sometime before lunch we picked up the return track of the supporting party so that there are now three distinct sludge impressions we are only 24 miles from our depot an easy day and a half given a fine day tomorrow we ought to get it without difficulty the wind and sastra g are south southeast and southeast if the weather holds we ought to do the rest of the inland ice journey in a little over a week the surface is very much altered since we passed out the loose snow has swept into heaps hard and wind tossed the rest has a glazed appearance the loose drifting snow no doubt acting on it polishing it like a sandblast the sledge with our good wind behind runs splendidly on it it is all soft and sandy beneath the glaze we are certainly getting hungrier every day the day after tomorrow we should be able to increase allowances it is monotonous work but thank god the miles are coming fast at last we ought not to be delayed much now with the downgrade in front of us tuesday january 30th r-13 9860 feet lunch temp negative 25 degrees supper temp negative 24.5 degrees thank the lord another fine march 19 miles we have passed the last cairn before the depot the track is clear ahead the weather fair the wind helpful the gradient down with any luck we should pick up our depot in the middle of the morning march this is the bright side the reverse of the medal is serious wilson has strained attendant in his leg it has given pain all day and has swollen tonight of course he is full of pluck over it but i don't like the idea of such an accident here to add to the trouble evans has dislodged two fingernails tonight his hands are really bad and to my surprise he shows signs of losing heart over it he hasn't been cheerful since the accident the wind shifted from southeast to south and back again all day but luckily it keeps strong we can get along with bad fingers but it will be a mighty serious thing if wilson's leg doesn't improve wednesday january 31st 9800 feet lunch temp negative 20 degrees supper temp negative 20 degrees the day open fine with a fair breeze we marched on to the depot footnote three degree depot end of footnote picked it up and lunched an hour later in the afternoon the surface became fearfully bad the wind dropped to a light southerly air ill luck that this should happen just when we have only four men to pull wilson rested his leg as much as possible by walking quietly beside the sledge the result has been good and tonight there is much less inflammation i hope you will be all right again soon but it is trying to have an injured limb in the party i see we had a very heavy surface here on our outward march there is no doubt we are traveling over undulations but the inequality of level does not make a great difference to our pace it is the sandy crystals that hold us up there has been very great alteration of the surface since we were here last the sledge tracks stand high this afternoon we picked up bower's ski footnote left on december 31st end of footnote the last thing we have to find on the summit thank heaven now we have only to go north and so shall welcome strong winds thursday february 1st r15 9778 feet lunch temperature negative 20 degrees separate temperature negative 19.8 degrees heavy color work most of the day wind light did eight miles four and three quarters hours started well in the afternoon and came down a steep slope in quick time then the surface turned real bad sandy drifts very heavy pulling working on past eight p.m we just fetched a lunch cairn of december 29 when we were only a week out from the depot footnote the upper glacier depot under mount darwin where the first supporting party turned back end of footnote it ought to be easy to get in with a margin having eight days food in hand full feeding we have opened out on the one seventh increase and it makes a lot of difference wilson's leg much better evan's fingers now very bad two nails coming off blisters burst friday february 2nd 9,340 feet r16 temperature lunch negative 19 degrees supper negative 17 degrees we started well on a strong southerly wind soon got to a steep grade when the sledge overran and upset us one after another we got off our ski and pulling on foot reeled off nine miles by lunch at 130 started in the afternoon on foot going very strong we noticed a curious circumstance toward the end of the four noon the tracks were drifted over but the drifts formed sort of a causeway along which we pulled in the afternoon we soon came to a steep slope the same on which we exchanged sledges on december 28 all went well till in trying to keep the track at the same time as my feet on a very slippery surface i came an awful perler on my shoulder it is horribly sore tonight and another sick person added to our tent three out of five injured and the most troublesome surfaces to come we shall be lucky if we get through without serious injury wilson's leg is better but might easily get bad again and evans's fingers at the bottom of the slope this afternoon we came on a confused sea of sastra g we lost the track later on soft snow we picked up e evans return track which we're now following we have managed to get off 17 miles the extra food is certainly helping us but we're getting pretty hungry the weather is already a trifle warmer the altitude lower and only 80 miles or so to mount darwin it is time we were off the summit pray god another four days will see us pretty well clear of it our bags are getting very wet and we ought to have more sleep end of the first part of chapter 19 recording by bob stretch jula vista california section 41 of scott's last expedition volume one this is a libra vox recording all libra vox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit libra vox.org recording by bob stretch scott's last expedition volume one the journals of robert falcon scott arranged by lennard huxley second part of chapter 19 the return from the pole saturday february third r-17 temp lunch negative 20 degrees supper negative 20 degrees height 9,040 feet started pretty well on foot came to a steep slope with crevasses few i went on ski to avoid another fall and we took the slope gently with our sail constantly losing track but picked up a much weathered cairn on our right vexatious delays searching for tracks etc reduced morning march to 8.1 miles afternoon came along a little better but again lost tracks on hard slope tonight we are near camp of december 26th but cannot see cairn have decided it is a waste of time looking for tracks and cairn shall push on due north as fast as we can surface has greatly changed since we passed outward in most places polished smooth but with heaps of new toothed stratugi which are disagreeable obstacles evans's fingers are going on as well as can be expected but it will be long before you'll be able to help properly with the work wilson's leg is much better in my shoulder also though it gives bad twinges the extra food is doing us all good but we ought to have more sleep very few more days on the plateau i hope hope sunday february 4th r18 8620 feet temperature lunch negative 22 degrees supper negative 23 degrees pulled on foot this morning over good hard surface and covered 9.7 miles just before lunch unexpectedly fell into crevasses evans and i together a second fall for evans and i camped after lunch saw disturbance ahead and what i took for disturbance land to the right we went on ski over hard shiny descending surface did very well especially toward end of march covering in all 18.1 we have come down some hundreds of feet halfway in the march the land showed up splendidly and i decided to make straight for mount darwin which we are rounding every sign points to getting away off this plateau the temperature is 20 degrees lower than when we were here before the party is not improving in condition especially evans who is becoming rather dull and incapable footnote result of concussion in the morning's fall end of footnote thank the lord we have good food at each meal but we're getting hungrier in spite of it hours is splendid full of energy and bustle all the time i hope we're not going to have trouble with ice falls monday february 5th r19 lunch 8 320 feet temperature negative 17 degrees supper 8120 feet temperature negative 17.2 degrees a good forenoon few crevasses we covered 10.2 miles in the afternoon we soon got into difficulties we saw the land very clearly but the difficulty is to get at it an hour after starting we came on huge pressures and great street crevasses partially open we had to steer more and more to the west so that our course was very erratic late in the march we turned more to the north and again encountered open crevasses across our track it is very difficult maneuvering amongst these and i should not like to do it without ski we are camped in a very disturbed region but the wind has fallen very light here and our camp is comfortable for the first time in many weeks we may be anything from 25 to 30 miles from our depot but i wish to goodness we could see a way through the disturbances ahead our faces are much cut up by all the winds we've had mine least of all the others telling me they feel their noses more going with rather than against the wind evans's nose is almost as bad as his fingers he is a good deal crocked up tuesday february 6th lunch 7900 feet supper 7 210 feet temperature negative 15 degrees we've had a horrid day and not covered good mileage on turning out found sky overcasts a beastly position amidst crevasses luckily it clear just before we started we went straight for mount darwin but in half an hour found ourselves amongst huge open chasms unbridged but not very deep i think we turned to the north between two but to our chagrin they converged into chaotic disturbance we had to retrace our steps for a mile or so then stuck to the west and got on a confused sea of strotoge pulling very hard we put up the sail evans nose suffered wilson very cold everything horrid camp for lunch in the strotoge the only comfort things looked clearer to the west and we were obviously going downhill in the afternoon we struggled on got out of strotoge and turned over a glazed surface crossing many crevasses very easy work on ski towards the end of the march we realized the certainty of maintaining a more or less straight course to the depot an estimate distance 10 to 15 miles food is low and weather uncertain so that many hours of the day were anxious but this evening though we're not as far advanced as i expected the outlook is much more promising evans is the chief anxiety now his cuts and wounds separate his nose looks very bad and altogether he shows considerable signs of being played out things may mend for him on the glacier and his wounds get some respite under warmer conditions i am indeed glad to think that we shall so soon have done with plateau conditions it took us 27 days to reach the pole and 21 days back in all 48 days nearly seven weeks in low temperature with almost incessant wind end of the summit journey wednesday february 7th mount darwin or upper glacier depot r21 height 7100 lunch temperature negative nine degrees summer temperature a blank here a wretched day with a satisfactory ending first panic certainty that biscuit box was short great doubt as to how this came about as we certainly haven't overissued allowances bowers is dreadfully disturbed about it the shortage is a full day's allowance we started our march at 830 and traveled down slopes and over terraces covered with hard sestrogi very tiresome work and the land didn't seem to come any nearer at lunch the wind increased and what with hot tea and good food we started the afternoon in a better frame of mind and it soon became obvious we were nearing our mark soon after 630 we saw our depot easily and camp next to it at 730 found note from evans to say the second return party passed through safely at 230 on january 14th half a day longer between depots than we have been the temperature is higher but there is a cold wind tonight well we have come through our seven weeks ice camp journey and most of us are fit but i think another week might have had a very bad effect on evans who is going steadily downhill it is satisfactory to recall that these facts give absolute proof of both expeditions having reached the pole and place the question of priority beyond discussion thursday february 8th r 22 height 6 260 start temp negative 11 degrees lunch temp negative five degrees supper zero nine point two miles started from the depot rather late owing to weighing biscuit etc and rearranging matters had a beastly morning wind very strong and cold steered in from out darwin to visit rock sent bowers on on ski as wilson can't wear his at present he obtained several specimens all of much the same type a close grained granite rock which weathers red hence the pink limestone after he rejoined we skidded downhill pretty fast leaders on ski oats and wilson on foot alongside sledge evans detached we lunched the two well down towards mount buckley the wind half a gale and everybody very cold and cheerless however better things were to follow we decided to steer for the marine under mount buckley end pulling with crampons we cross some very irregular steep slopes with big crevasses and slid down towards the rocks the marine was obviously so interesting that when we advanced some miles and got out of the wind i decided to camp and spend the rest of the day geologizing it has been extremely interesting we found ourselves under perpendicular cliffs of beacon sandstone weathering rapidly and carrying veritable cold seams from the last wilson with his sharp eyes has picked several plant impressions the last a piece of cold beautifully traced leaves in layers also some excellently preserved impressions of thick stems showing cellular structure in one place we saw the cast of small waves on the sand tonight bill has got a specimen of limestone with archiosaethis the trouble is one cannot imagine where the stone comes from it is evidently rare as few specimens occur in the marine there is a good deal of pure white quartz altogether we have had a most interesting afternoon and the relief of being out of the wind and in a warmer temperature is inexpressible i hope and trust that we shall all buck up again now that the conditions are more favorable we have been in shadow all the afternoon but the sun has just reached us a little obscured by night haze a lot could be written on the delight of setting foot on rock after 14 weeks of snow and ice and nearly seven out of sight of hotels it is like going ashore after a sea voyage we deserve a little good bright weather after all our trials and hope to get a chance to dry our sleeping bags and generally make our gear more comfortable friday february ninth r-23 height five thousand two hundred and ten feet lunch temperature 10 degrees separate temperature 12.5 degrees about 13 miles kept along the edge of the marine to the end of mount buckley stopped and geologized wilson got great find a vegetable impression in a piece of limestone too tired to write geographical notes we all felt very slack this morning partially rise of temperature partially reaction no doubt ought to have kept close in to glacier north of mount buckley but in bad light the descent looked steep so he kept out evidently we got amongst bad ice pressure and had to come down over an icefall the crevasses were much firmer than expected and we got down with some difficulty found our night camp of december 20th and lunched an hour after did pretty well in the afternoon marching three and three-quarter hours the sledge meter is unshipped so cannot tell distance traversed very warm on march and we are all pretty tired tonight is wonderfully calm and warm though it has been overcast all the afternoon it is remarkable to be able to stand outside the tent and sun oneself our food satisfies now but we must march to keep in the full ration and we want rest yet we shall pull through all right dio valente we are by no means worn out saturday february 10th r 24 lunch temp 12 degrees supper temp 10 degrees got off a good morning march in spite of keeping too far east and getting in rough cracked ice had a splendid night's sleep showing great change in all faces so didn't get away until 10 a.m lunched just before three after lunch the land began to be obscured we held a course for two and a half hours with difficulty then the sun disappeared and snow drove in our faces with northerly wind very warm and impossible to steer so camped after supper still very thick all around but sun showing and less snow falling the fallen snow crystals are quite feathery like this will down we have two full days food left and though our position is uncertain we are certainly within two outward marches from the middle glacier depot however if the weather doesn't clear by tomorrow we must either march blindly on or reduce food it is very trying another night to make up arrears of sleep the ice crystals that first fell this afternoon were very large now the sky is clearer overhead the temperature has fallen slightly and the crystals are minute sunday february 11th r 25 lunch temp negative 6.5 degrees supper negative 3.5 degrees the worst day we have had during the trip and greatly owing to our own fault we started on a wretched surface with light southwest wind sail set and pulling on ski horrible light which made everything look fantastic as we went on the light got worse and suddenly we found ourselves in pressure then came the fatal decision to steer east we went on for six hours hoping to do a good distance which in fact i suppose we did but for the last hour or two we pressed on into a regular trap getting on to a good surface we did not reduce our lunch meal and thought all was going well but half an hour after lunch we got into the worst ice mess i've ever been in for three hours we plunged on on ski first thinking that we were too much to the right then too much to the left meanwhile the disturbance got worse and my spirits received a very rude shock there were times when it seemed almost impossible to find a way out of the awful turmoil in which we found ourselves at length arguing there must be a way on our left we plunged in that direction it got worse harder more icy and crevast we could not manage our ski and pulled on foot falling into crevasses every minute most luckily no bad accident at length we saw a smoother slope towards the land pushed for it but knew it was a woefully long way from us the turmoil changed in character a regular crevast surface giving way to huge chasms closely packed and most difficult to cross it was very hard work but we had grown desperate we won through at 10 p.m. and i write after 12 hours on the march i think we are on or about the right track now but we're still a good number of miles from the depot so we reduced rations tonight we had three pemmican meals left and decided to make them into four tomorrow's lunch must serve for two if we do not make big progress it was a test of our endurance on the march and our fitness with a small supper we have come through well a good wind has come down the glacier which is clearing the sky and surface pray god the wind holds tomorrow short sleep tonight an off first thing i hope Monday February 12th r26 in a very critical situation all went well in the forenoon and we did a good long march over a fair surface two hours before lunch we were cheered by the site of our night camp of the 18th December the day after we left our depot this showed we were on the right track in the afternoon refreshed by tea we went forward confident of covering the remaining distance but by a fatal chance we kept too far to the left and then we struck uphill and tired and despondent arrived in a horrid maze of crevasses and fissures divided councils caused our course to be erratic after this and finally at 9 p.m. we landed in the worst place of all after discussion we decided to camp and here we are after a very short supper and one meal only remaining in the food bag the depot doubtful and locality we must get there tomorrow meanwhile we are cheerful with an effort it's a tight place but luckily we've been well fed up to the present pray god we have fine weather tomorrow at this point the bearings of the mid-glacier depot are given but need not be quoted Tuesday February 13th camp r-27 beside cloud maker temperature negative 10 degrees last night we all slept well in spite of our grave anxieties for my part these were increased by my visits outside the tent when i saw the sky gradually closing over and snow beginning to fall by our ordinary time for getting up it was dense all around us we could see nothing and we could only remain in our sleeping bags at 8 30 i dimly made out the land of the cloud maker at 9 we got up deciding to have tea and with one biscuit no pemicin so as to leave our scanty remaining meal for eventualities we started marching and at first had to wind our way through an awful turmoil of broken ice but in about an hour hit our old moraine track brown with dirt here the surface was much smoother and improved rapidly the fog still hung over all and we went on for an hour checking our bearings then the whole place got smoother and we turned outward a little evans raised our hopes of the shout of a depot ahead but it proved to be a shadow on the ice then suddenly wilson saw the actual depot flag it was an immense relief and we were soon in possession of our three and a half days food the relief to all is inexpressible needless to say we camped and had a meal marching in the afternoon i kept more to the left and closed the mountain until we fell on the stone moraines here wilson detached himself and made a collection whilst we pulled the sledge on we camped late abreast the lower end of the mountain and had nearly our usual satisfying supper yesterday was the worst experience of the trip and gave a horrid feeling of insecurity now we're right up we must march in future food must be worked so that we do not run so short if the weather fails us we mustn't get into a hole like this again greatly relieved to find that both other parties got through safely evans seems to have got mixed up with pressures like ourselves it promises to be a very fine day tomorrow the valley is gradually clearing bowers has had a very bad attack of snow blindness and wilson another almost as bad evans has no power to assist with camping work Wednesday February 14th lunch temp zero degrees supper temp negative one degrees a fine day with wind on and off down the glacier and we have done a fairly good march we started a little late and pulled on down the moraine at first i thought of going right but soon luckily changed my mind and decided to follow the curving lines of the marines this course has brought us well out on the glacier started on crampons one hour after hoisted sale the combined efforts produced only slow speed partially due to the sandy snowdrifts similar to those on the summit partially to our torn sledge runners had lunch these were scraped in sandpapered after lunch we got on snow with ice only occasionally showing through a poor start but the gradient and wind improving we did six and a half miles before night camp there is no getting away from the fact that we are not going strong probably none of us wilson's leg still troubles him and he doesn't like to trust himself on ski but the worst case is evans who is giving us serious anxiety this morning he disclosed a huge blister on his foot it delayed us on the march when he had to have his crampon readjusted sometimes i fear he is going from bad to worse but i trust he will pick up again when we come to steady work on ski like this afternoon he is hungry and so is wilson we can't risk opening out our food again and as cook at present i am serving something under full allowance we are inclined to get slack and slow with our camping arrangements and small delays increase i have talked the matter tonight and i hope for improvement we cannot do the distance without the ponies the next depot footnote the lower glacier depot end of footnote some 30 miles away and nearly three days food in hand thursday february 15th r 29 lunch temp negative 10 degrees supper temp negative four degrees 13.5 miles again we are running short of provision we don't know our distance from the depot but imagine about 20 miles heavy march did 13 and three quarters miles geographic we are pulling for food and not very strong evidently in the afternoon it was over a cast land blotted out for a considerable interval we've reduced food also sleep feeling rather done trust one and a half days or two at most will see us at depot friday february 16th 12.5 miles lunch temp negative 6.1 degrees supper temp negative seven degrees a rather trying position evans has nearly broken down in brain we think he has absolutely changed from his normal self-reliant self this morning in this afternoon he stopped the march on some trivial excuse we are on short rations with not very short food spin out till tomorrow night we cannot be more than 10 or 12 miles from the depot but the weather is all against us after lunch we were enveloped in the snow sheet land just looming memory should hold the events of a very troublesome march with more troubles ahead perhaps all will be well if we can get to our depot tomorrow fairly early but it is anxious work with the sick man but it's no use meeting troubles halfway and our sleep is all too short to write more saturday february 17th a very terrible day evans looked a little better after a good sleep and declared as he always did that he was quite well he started in his place on the traces but a half hour later worked his ski shoes adrift and had to leave the sledge the surface was awful the soft recently fallen snow clogging the ski and runners at every step the sludge droning the sky overcast and the land hazy we stopped after about an hour and evans came up again but very slowly half an hour later he dropped out again on the same plea he asked bowers to lend him a piece of string i cautioned him to come on as quickly as he could and he answered cheerfully as i thought we had to push on and the remainder of us were forced to pull very hard sweating heavily abreast the monument rock we stopped and seeing evans a long way astern i camped for lunch there was no alarm at first and we prepared tea in our own meal consuming the latter after lunch evans still not appearing we looked out to see him still a far off by this time we were alarmed and all four started back on ski i was the first to reach the poor man and shocked at his appearance he was on his knees with clothing disarranged hands uncovered and frostbitten and a wild look in his eyes asked what was the matter he replied with a slow speech that he didn't know but thought he must have fainted we got him on his feet but after two or three steps he sank down again he showed every sign of complete collapse wilson bowers and i went back for the sledge whilst oats remained with him when we returned he was practically unconscious and when we got him into the tent quite comatose he died quietly at 12 30 am on discussing the symptoms we think he began to get weaker just before we reached the pole and that his downward path was accelerated first by the shock of his frostbitten fingers and later by falls during rough traveling on the glacier further by his loss of all confidence in himself wilson thinks it's certain that he must have injured his brain by a fall it is a terrible thing to lose a companion in this way but calm reflection shows that there could not have been a better ending to the terrible anxieties of the past week discussion of the situation at lunch yesterday shows us what a desperate pass we were in with a sick man in our hands at such a distance from home at 1 a.m we packed up and came down over the pressure ridges finding our depot easily end of chapter 19 recording by bob stretch julevista california section 42 of scott's last expedition volume one this is a liber box recording all liber box recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit liber box dot org scott's last expedition volume one the journals of robert falken scott arranged by lennard huxley chapter 20 the last march footnote at this point begins the last of scott's notebooks the record of the southern journey is written in pencil in three slim manuscript books some eight inches long by five wide these little volumes are meant for artists notebooks and are made of tough soft pliable paper which takes the pencil well the pages 96 in number are perforated so as to be detachable at need in the hut large quarto manuscript books are used for the journals and some of the rough notes of the earlier expeditions were recast and written out again in them the little books were carried on the sledge journeys and contain the day's notes entered very regularly at the lunch halls and in the night camps but in the last weeks of the southern journey when fuel and light ran short and all grew very weary it will be seen that scott made his entries at lunchtime alone they tell not of the morning's run only but of yesterday the notes were written on the right hand pages and when the end of the book was reached it was turned and the blank backs of the leaves now became clean right hand pages the first two manuscript books are thus entirely filled the third has only part of its pages used and the message to the public is written at the reverse end inside the front cover of number one is a ready table to convert the day's run of geographical miles as recorded on the sledge meter into statute miles a list of the depots and their latitude and a note of the sledge meter reading at corner camp these are followed in the first pages by a list of the outward camps and distances run as noted in the book with special remarks as to cairns latitude and so forth at the end of the book is a full list of the cairns that marked the track out inside the front cover of number two are similar entries together with the ages of the polar party and a note of the error of scott's watch inside the front cover of number three are the following words diary can be read by finder to ensure reporting of records etc the diary should be sent to my widow and on the first page send this diary to my widow our scott the word wife has been struck out in widow written in and a footnote sunday february 18 record 32 temperature minus 5.5 degrees at shambles camp we gave ourselves five hours sleep at the lower glacier depot after the horrible night and came on at about three today to this camp coming fairly easily over the divide here with plenty of horse meat we have had a fine supper to be followed by others such and so continue a more plentiful era if we can keep good marches up new life seems to come with greater food almost immediately but i am anxious about the barrier surfaces monday february 19 lunch temperature minus 16 degrees it was late past noon before we got away today as i gave nearly eight hours sleep and much camp work was done shifting sledges and fitting up new ones with mast etc packing horse meat and personal effects footnote sledges were left at the chief depots to replace damaged ones and the footnote the surface was every bit as bad as i expected the sun shining brightly on it and its covering of soft loose sandy snow we have come out about two feet on the old tracks perhaps lucky to have a fine day for this and our camp work but we shall want wind or change of sliding conditions to do anything on such a surface as we have got i fear there will not be much change for the next three or four days record 33 temperature minus 17 degrees we have struggled out 4.6 miles in a short day over a really terrible surface it has been like pulling over desert sand not the least glide in the world if this goes on we shall have a bad time but i sincerely trust it is only the result of this windless area close to the coast and that as we are making steadily outwards we shall shortly escape it it is perhaps premature to be anxious about covering distance in all other respects things are improving we have our sleeping bags spread on the sledge and they are drying but above all we have our full measure of food again tonight we had a sort of stew fry of pemekin and horse flesh and voted it the best hoosh we had ever had on a sledge journey the absence of poor evans is a help to the commissariat but if he had been here in a fit state we might have got along faster i wonder what is in store for us with some little alarm at the lateness of the season monday february 20 record 34 lunch temperature minus 13 degrees supper temperature minus 15 degrees same terrible surface four hours hard plotting in morning brought us to our desolation camp where we had the four-day blizzard we looked for more pony meat but found none after lunch we took to ski with some improvement of comfort total mileage for day seven the ski tracks pretty plain and easily followed this afternoon we have left another cairn behind terribly slow progress but we hope for better things as we clear the land there is a tendency to cloud over in the southeast tonight which may turn to our advantage at present our sledge and ski leave deeply plowed tracks which can be seen winding for miles behind it is distressing but as usual trials are forgotten when we camp and good food is our lot pray god we get better traveling as we are not fit as we were and the season is advancing a pace tuesday february 21 record 35 lunch temperature minus nine and a half degrees supper temperature minus 11 degrees gloomy and overcast when we started a good deal warmer the marching almost as bad as yesterday heavy toiling all day inspiring gloomiest thoughts at times rays of comfort when we picked up tracks and parents at lunch we seemed to have missed the way but an hour or two after we passed the last pony walls and since we struck a tent ring ending the march actually on our old pony tracks there is a critical spot here with a long stretch between cairns if we can tie that over we get on the regular cairn route and with luck should stick to it but everything depends on the weather we never won a march of eight and a half miles with greater difficulty but we can't go on like this we are drawing away from the land and perhaps may get better things in a day or two i devoutly hope so wednesday february 22 record 36 supper temperature minus two degrees there is little doubt we are in for a rotten critical time going home and the lateness of the season may make it really serious shortly after starting today the wind grew very fresh from the southeast with strong surface drift we lost the faint track immediately though covering ground fairly rapidly lunch came without sight of the cairn we had hoped to pass in the afternoon bowers being sure we were too far to the west steered out result we have passed another pony camp without seeing it looking at the map tonight there is no doubt we are too far to the east with clear weather we ought to be able to correct the mistake but will the weather get clear it's a gloomy position more especially as one sees the same difficulty returning even when we have corrected the error the wind is dying down tonight and the sky clearing in the south which is hopeful meanwhile it is satisfactory to note that such untoward events fail to damp the spirit of the party tonight we had a pony who's so excellent and filling that one feels really strong and vigorous again Thursday February 23 record 37 lunch temperature minus 9.8 degrees supper temperature minus 12 degrees started in sunshine wind almost dropped luckily bowers took a round of angles and with help of the chart we fogged out that we must be inside rather than outside tracks the data were so meager that it seemed a great responsibility to march out and we were none of us happy about it but just as we decided to lunch bowers's wonderful sharp eyes detected an old double lunch cairn the theodolite telescope confirmed it and our spirits rose accordingly this afternoon we marched on and picked up another cairn then on and camped only two and a half miles from the depot we cannot see it but given fine weather we cannot miss it we are therefore extraordinarily relieved covered 8.2 miles in seven hours showing we can do 10 to 12 on this surface things are again looking up as we are on the regular line of cairns with no gaps right home i hope friday february 24 lunch beautiful day too beautiful an hour after starting loose ice crystals spoiling surface saw depot and reached it middle four noon found store in order except shortage oil shall have to be very saving with fuel otherwise have 10 full days provision from tonight and shall have less than 70 miles to go footnote at this the barrier stage of the return journey the southern party were in want of more oil than they found at the depots owing partly to the severe conditions but still more to the delays imposed by their sick comrades they reached the full limit of time allowed for between depots the cold was unexpected and at the same time the actual amount of oil found at the depots was less than they had counted on under summer conditions such as were contemplated when there was less cold for the men to endure and less firing needed to melt the snow for cooking the fullest allowance of oil was one gallon to last a unit of four men 10 days or 140th of a gallon a day for each man the amount allotted to each unit for the return journey from the south was apparently rather less being two thirds gallon for eight days or 148th gallon a day for each man but the eight days were to cover the march from depot to depot averaging on the barrier some 70 to 80 miles which in normal conditions should not take more than six days thus there was a substantial margin for delay by bad weather while if all went well the supplies afforded the fullest marching allowance the same proportion for a unit of five men works out at five six of a gallon for an eight day stage accordingly for the return of the two supporting parties and the southern party two tins of a gallon each were left at each depot each unit of four men being entitled to two thirds of a gallon and the units of three and five men in proportion the return journey on the summit had been made at good speed taking 21 days as against 27 going out the last part of it from three degree to upper glacier depot taking nearly eight marches as against 10 showing the first slight slackening as po evans and oaths began to feel the cold from upper glacier to lower glacier depot 10 marches as against 11 a stage broken by the mid glacier depot of three and a half days provisions at the sixth march here there was little gain partly owing to the conditions but more to evans gradual collapse the worst time came on the barrier from lower glacier to southern barrier depot 51 miles six and a half marches as against five two of which were short marches so that the five might count as an easy four in point of distance from southern barrier to mid barrier depot 82 miles six and a half marches as against five and a half from mid barrier to mount hooper 70 miles eight as against four and three quarters while the last remaining eight marches represent but four on the outward journey see table on next page as to the cause of the shortage the tins of oil at the depot had been exposed to extreme conditions of heat and cold the oil was specially volatile and in the warmth of the sun for the tins were regularly set in an accessible place on the top of the cairns tended to become vapor and escape through the stoppers even without damage to the tins this process was much accelerated by reason that the leather washers about the stoppers had perished in the great cold dr. Atkinson gives two striking examples of this one eight one gallon tins in a wooden case intended for a depot at Cape Crozier had been put out in september 1911 they were snowed up and when examined in december 1912 showed three tins full three empty one a third full and one two thirds full two when the search party reached one ton camp in november 1912 they found that some of the food stacked in a canvas tank at the foot of the cairn was quite oily from the spontaneous leakage of the tins seven feet above it on the top of the cairn the tins at the depots awaiting the southern party had of course been opened and the due amount to be taken measured out by the supporting parties on their way back however carefully restoppered they were still liable to the unexpected evaporation and leakage already described hence without any manner of doubt the shortage which struck the southern party so hard end of footnote note from Mears who passed through december 15 saying surface bad from Atkinson after fine marching two and a quarter days from pony depot reporting Cahohane better after sickness short note from Evans not very cheerful saying surface bad temperature high think he must have been a little anxious footnote it will be remembered that he was already stricken with scurvy end of footnote it is an immense relief to have picked up this depot and for the time anxieties are thrust aside there is no doubt we have been rising steadily since leaving the shambles camp the coastal barrier descends except where glaciers press out undulation still but flattening out surface soft on top curiously hard below great difference now between night and day temperatures quite warm as i write intent we are on tracks with half march cairn ahead have covered four and a half miles poor wilson has a fearful attack snow blindness consequent on yesterday's efforts wish we had more fuel night camp record 38 temperature minus 17 degrees a little despondent again we had a really terrible surface this afternoon and only covered four miles we are on the track just beyond a lunch caron it really will be a bad business if we are to have this pulling all through i don't know what to think but the rapid closing of the season is ominous it is great luck having the horse meat to add to our ration tonight we have had a real fine hoosh it is a race between the season and hard conditions and our fitness and good food saturday february 25 lunch temperature minus 12 degrees managed just six miles this morning started somewhat despondent not relieved when pulling seemed to show no improvement bit by bit surface grew better less astrogy more glide slight following wind for a time then we began to travel a little faster but the pulling is still very hard undulations disappearing but inequalities remain 26 camp walls about two miles ahead all tracks in sight evan's track very conspicuous this is something in favor but the pulling is tiring us though we are getting into better ski drawing again powers hasn't quite the trick and is a little hurt at my criticisms but i never doubted his heart very much easier right diary at lunch excellent meal now one panikin very strong tea four biscuits and butter hope for better things this afternoon but no improvement apparent oh for a little wind east evan's evidently had plenty record 39 temperature minus 20 degrees better march in afternoon day healed 11.4 miles the first double figure of steady dragging for a long time but it meant and will mean hard work if we can't get a wind to help us evan's evidently had a strong wind here southeast i should think the temperature goes very low at night now when the sky is clear as at present as a matter of fact this is wonderfully fair weather the only drawback the spoiling of the surface in absence of wind we see all tracks very plain but the pony walls have evidently been badly drifted up some kind people had substituted a cairn at last camp 27 the old cairns do not seem to have suffered much sunday february 26 lunch temperature minus 17 degrees sky overcast at start but able see tracks and cairn distinct at long distance did a little better six and a half miles to date hours and wilson now in front find great relief pulling behind with no necessity to keep attention on track very cold nights now and cold feet starting march as day foot gear doesn't dry at all we are doing well on our food but we ought to have yet more i hope the next depot now only 50 miles will find us with enough surplus to open out the fuel shortage still in anxiety record 40 temperature minus 21 degrees nine hours solid marching has given us 11 and a half miles only 43 miles from the next depot wonderfully fine weather but cold very cold nothing dries and we get our feet cold too often we want more food yet and especially more fat fuel is woefully short we can scarcely hope to get a better surface at this season but i wish we could have some help from the wind though it might shake us badly if the temperature didn't rise monday february 27 desperately cold last night minus 33 degrees when we got up with minus 37 minimum some suffering from cold feet but all got good rest we must open out on food soon but we have done seven miles this morning and hope for some five this afternoon overcast sky and good surface till now when sun shows again it is good to be marching the cairns up but there is still much to be anxious about we talk of little but food except after meals land disappearing in satisfactory manner pray god we have no further setbacks we are naturally always discussing possibility of meeting dogs where and when etc it is a critical position we may find ourselves in safety at next depot but there is a horrid element of doubt camp record 41 temperature minus 32 degrees still fine clear weather but very cold absolutely calm tonight we have got off an excellent march for these days 12.2 and are much earlier than usual in our bags 31 miles to depot three days fuel at a pinch and six days food things begin to look a little better we can open out a little on food from tomorrow night i think very curious surface soft recent sestruvi which sink underfoot and between a sort of flaky crust with large crystals beneath me tuesday february 28 lunch thermometer went below minus 40 degrees last night it was desperately cold for us but we had a fair night i decided to slightly increase food the effect is undoubtedly good started marching in minus 32 degrees with a slight northwesterly breeze lighting many cold feet this morning long time over foot gear but we are earlier shall camp earlier and get the chance of a good night if not the reality things must be critical till we reach the depot and the more i think of matters the more i anticipate they're remaining so after that event only 24 and a half miles from the depot the sun shines brightly but there is little warmth in it there is no doubt the middle of the barrier is a pretty awful locality camp 42 splendid pony who sent us to bed and sleep happily after a horrid day wind continuing did 11 and a half miles temperature not quite so low but expect we are in for a cold night temperature minus 27 degrees wednesday february 29 lunch cold night minimum temp minus 37.5 degrees minus 30 degrees with northwest wind force four when we got up frightfully cold starting luckily bowers and oats in their last new finesco keeping my old ones for present expected awful march and for first hour got it then things improved and we camped after five and a half hours marching close to lunch camp 22 and a half next camp is our depot and it is exactly 13 miles it ought not to take more than one and a half days we pray for another fine one the oil will just about spin out in that event and we arrive three clear days food in hand the increase of ration has had an enormously beneficial result mountains now looking small wind still very light from west cannot understand this wind thursday march first lunch very cold last night minimum minus 41.5 degrees cold start to march to as usual now got away at eight and have marched within site of depot flag something under three miles away we did 11 and a half yesterday and marched six this morning heavy dragging yesterday and very heavy this morning apart from sledging considerations the weather is wonderful cloudless days and nights and the wind trifling worse luck the light airs come from the north and keep us horribly cold for this lunch hour the exception has come there is a bright and comparatively warm sun all our gear is out drying friday march second lunch misfortunes rarely come singly we marched to the middle barrier depot fairly easily yesterday afternoon and since that have suffered three distinct blows which have placed us in a bad position first we found a shortage of oil with most rigid economy it can scarce carry us to the next depot on this surface 71 miles away second tightest oats disclosed his feet the toes showing very bad indeed evidently bitten by the late temperatures the third blow came in the night when the wind which we had hailed with some joy brought dark overcast weather it fell below minus 40 degrees in the night and this morning it took one and a half hours to get our foot gear on but we got away before eight we lost cairn and tracks together and made as steady as we could north by west but have seen nothing worse was to come the surface is simply awful in spite of strong wind and full sail we have only done five and a half miles we are in a very queer street since there is no doubt we cannot do the extra marches and feel the cold horribly end of first part of chapter 20 section 43 of scott's last expedition volume one this is a liverbox recording all liverbox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit liverbox.org scott's last expedition volume one the journals of robert falken scott arranged by lenard huxley second part of chapter 20 the last march saturday march third lunch we picked up the track again yesterday finding ourselves to the eastward did close on 10 miles and things looked a trifle better but this morning the outlook is blacker than ever started well and with good breeze for an hour made good headway then the surface grew awful beyond words the wind drew forward every circumstance was against us after four and a quarter hours things so bad that we camped having covered four and a half miles record 46 one cannot consider this a fault of our own certainly we were pulling hard this morning it was more than three parts surface which held us back the wind at strongest powerless to move the sledge when the light is good it is easy to see the reason the surface lately a very good hard one is coated with a thin layer of woolly crystals formed by radiation no doubt these are too firmly fixed to be removed by the wind and cause impossible friction on the runners god help us we can't keep up this pulling that is certain amongst ourselves we are unendingly cheerful but what each man feels in his heart i can only guess pulling on foot gear in the morning is getting slower and slower therefore every day more dangerous sunday march four lunch things looking very black indeed as usual we forgot our trouble last night got into our bags slept splendidly on good hoosh woke and had another and started marching sun shining brightly tracks clear but surface covered with sandy frost rime all the morning we had to pull with all our strength and in four and a half hours we covered three and a half miles last night it was overcast and thick surface bad this morning sun shining and surfaces bad as ever one has little to hope for except perhaps strong dry wind and unlikely contingency at this time of year under the immediate surface crystals is a hard so streaky surface which must have been excellent for pulling a week or two ago we are about 42 miles from the next depot and have a week's food but only about three to four days fuel we are as economical of the latter as one can possibly be and we cannot afford to save food and pull as we are pulling we are in a very tight place indeed but none of us is despondent yet or at least we preserve a resemblance of good cheer but one's heart sinks as the sledge stops dead at some sustrugy behind which the surface sand lies thickly heat for the moment the temperature is on the minus 20 degrees an improvement which makes us much more comfortable but a colder snap is bound to come again soon i fear that oats at least will weather such an event very poorly providence to our aid we can expect little from man now accept the possibility of extra food at the next depot it will be real bad if we get there and find the same shortage of oil shall we get there such a short distance it would have appeared to us on the summit i don't know what i should do if wilson and bowers weren't so determinately cheerful over things Monday March 5 lunch regret to say going from bad to worse we got a slant of wind yesterday afternoon and going on five hours we converted our wretched morning run of three and a half miles into something over nine we went to bed on a cup of cocoa and pemmican solid with the chill off record 47 the result is telling on all but mainly on oats whose feet are in a wretched condition once welled up tremendously last night and he is very lame this morning we started march on tea and pemmican as last night we pretend to prefer the pemmican this way marched for five hours this morning over a slightly better surface covered with high mounties astrogy sledge capsized twice we pulled on foot covering about five and a half miles we are two pony marches and four miles about from our depot our fuel dreadfully low and the poor soldier nearly done it is pathetic enough because we can do nothing for him more hot food might do a little but only a little i fear we none of us expected these terribly low temperatures and of the rest of us wilson is feeling them most mainly i fear from his self sacrificing devotion in doctoring oats his feet we cannot help each other each has enough to do to take care of himself we get cold on the march when the trudging is heavy and the wind pierces our warm garments the others all of them are unendingly cheerful when in the tent we mean to see the game through with a proper spirit but it's tough work to be pulling harder than we ever pulled in our lives for long hours and to feel that the progress is so slow one can only say god help us and plot on our weary way cold and very miserable though outwardly cheerful we talk of all sorts of subjects in the tent not much of food now since we decided to take the risk of running a full ration we simply couldn't go hungry at this time tuesday march 6 lunch we did a little better with help of wind yesterday afternoon finishing nine and a half miles for the day and 27 miles from depot record 48 but this morning things have been awful it was warm in the night and for the first time during the journey i overslept myself by more than an hour then we were slow with foot gear then pulling with all our might for our lives we could scarcely advance at rate of a mile an hour then it grew thick and three times we had to get out of harness to search for tracks the result is something less than three and a half miles for the four noon the sun is shining now in the wind gone poor oats is unable to pull sits on the sledge when we are track searching he is wonderfully plucky as his feet must be giving him great pain he makes no complaint but his spirits only come up in spurts now and he grows more silent in the tent we are making a spirit lamp to try and replace the primus when our oil is exhausted it will be a very poor substitute and we've not got much spirit if we could have kept up our nine mile days we might have got within reasonable distance of the depot before running out but nothing but a strong wind and good surface can help us now and though we had quite a good breeze this morning the sledge came as heavy as lead if we were all fit i should have hopes of getting through but the poor soldier has become a terrible hindrance though he does his utmost and suffers much i fear wednesday march 7 a little worse i fear one of oats's feet very bad this morning he is wonderfully brave we still talk of what we will do together at home we only made six and a half miles yesterday record 49 this morning in four and a half hours we did just over four miles we are 16 from our depot if we only find the correct proportion of food there and the surface continues we may get to the next depot mount hooper 72 miles farther but not to one ton camp we hope against hope that the dogs have been to mount hooper then we might pull through if there is a shortage of oil again we can have little hope one feels that for poor oats the crisis is near but none of us are improving though we are wonderfully fit considering the really excessive work we are doing we are only kept going by good food no wind this morning till a chill northerly air came ahead sun bright and cairns showing up well i should like to keep the track to the end thursday march 8 lunch worse and worse in morning poor oats's left foot can never last out and time over foot gear something awful have to wait in night foot gear for nearly an hour before i start changing and then i'm generally first to be ready wilson's feet giving trouble now but this mainly because he gives so much help to others we did four and a half miles this morning and are now eight and a half miles from the depot a ridiculously small distance to feel in difficulties yet on this surface we know we cannot equal half our old marches and that for that effort we expend nearly double the energy the great question is what shall we find at the depot if the dogs have visited it we make it along a good distance but if there is another short allowance of fuel god help us indeed we are in a very bad way i fear in any case saturday march 10 things steadily downhill oats's foot he has rare pluck and must know that he can never get through he asked wilson if he had a chance this morning and of course bill had to say he didn't know in point of fact he has none apart from him if he went under now i doubt whether we could get through with great care we might have a dog's chance but no more the weather conditions are awful and our gear gets steadily more icy and difficult to manage at the same time of course poor titus is the greatest handicap he keeps us waiting in the morning until we have partly lost the warming effect of our good breakfast when the only wise policy is to be up and away at once again at lunch poor chap it is too pathetic to watch him one cannot but try to cheer him up yesterday we marched up the depot mount hooper cold comfort shortage on our allowance all round i don't know that anyone is to blame the dogs which would have been our salvation have evidently failed footnote for the last six days the dogs had been waiting at one ton camp under cherry gerard and dimitri the supporting party had come out as arranged on the chance of hurrying the pole travelers back over the last stages of their journey in time to catch the ship scott had dated his probable return to hut point anywhere between mid-march and early april calculating from the speed of the other return parties dr. atkinson looked for him to reach one ton camp between march three and ten here cherry gerard met four days of blizzard then there remained little more than enough dog food to bring the teams home he could either push south one more march and back at imminent risk of missing scott on the way or stay two days at the camp where scott was bound to come if he came at all his wise decision his hardships and endurance are recounted by dr. atkinson in volume two the last year at cape evans end of footnote mirrors had a bad trip home i suppose this morning it was calm when we breakfasted but the wind came from west northwest as we broke camp it rapidly grew in strength after traveling for half an hour i saw that none of us could go on facing such conditions we were forced to camp and are spending the rest of the day in a comfortless blizzard camp wind quite foul record 52 sunday march 11 titus oats is very near the end one feels what we or he will do god only knows we discussed the matter after breakfast he is a brave fine fellow and understands the situation but he practically asked for advice nothing could be said but to urge him to march as long as he could one satisfactory result to the discussion i practically ordered wilson to hand over the means of ending our troubles to us so that any one of us may know how to do so wilson had no choice between doing so and our ransacking the medicine case we have 30 opium tabloids apiece and he is left with a tube of morphine so far the tragical side of our story record 53 the sky completely overcast when we started this morning we could see nothing lost the tracks and doubtless have been swaying a good deal since 3.1 miles for the forenoon terribly heavy dragging expected it know that six miles is about the limit of our endurance now if we get no help from wind or surfaces we have seven days food and should be about 55 miles from one ton camp tonight six times seven equals 42 leaving us 13 miles short of our distance even if things get no worse meanwhile the season rapidly advances Monday March 12 we did 6.9 miles yesterday under our necessary average things are left much the same oats not pulling much and now with hands as well as feet pretty well useless we did four miles this morning in four hours 20 minutes we may hope for three this afternoon seven times six equals 42 we shall be 47 miles from the depot i doubt if we can possibly do it the surface remains awful the cold intense and our physical condition running down god help us not a breath of favorable wind for more than a week and apparently liable to headwinds at any moment Wednesday March 14 no doubt about the going downhill but everything going wrong for us yesterday we woke to a strong northerly wind with temperature minus 37 degrees couldn't face it so remained in camp record 54 till two then did five and a quarter miles wanted to march later but party feeling the cold badly as the breeze north never took off entirely and as the sun sank the temperature fell long time getting supper in dark record 55 this morning started with southerly breeze set sail and passed another cairn at good speed halfway however the wind shifted to west by south or west southwest flew through our wind close and into our midst poor wilson horribly cold could not get off ski for some time hours and i practically made camp and when we got into the tent at last we were all deadly cold then temperature now midday down minus 43 degrees and the wind strong we must go on but how the making of every camp must be more difficult and dangerous it must be near the end but a pretty merciful end poor oats got it again in the foot i shudder to think what it will be like tomorrow it is only with greatest pains rest of us keep off frost bites no idea there could be temperatures like this at this time of year with such winds truly awful outside the tent must fight it out to the last biscuit but can't reduce rations friday march 16 or saturday 17 lost track of dates but think the last correct tragedy all along the line at lunch the day before yesterday poor titus oats said he couldn't go on he proposed we should leave him in his sleeping bag that we could not do and induced him to come on the afternoon march in spite of its awful nature for him he struggled on and we made a few miles at night he was worse and we knew the end had come should this be found i want these facts recorded oats's last thoughts were of his mother but immediately before he took pride in thinking that his regiment would be pleased with the bold way in which he met his death we can testify to his bravery he has borne intense suffering for weeks without complaint and to the very last was able and willing to discuss outside subjects he did not would not give up hope to the very end he was a brave soul this was the end he slept through the night before last hoping not to wake but he woke in the morning yesterday it was blowing a blizzard he said i am just going outside and maybe some time he went out into the blizzard and we have not seen him since i take this opportunity of saying that we have stuck to our sick companions to the last in case of edgar evans when absolutely out of food and he lay insensible the safety of the remainder seemed to demand his abandonment but providence mercifully removed him at this critical moment he died a natural death and we did not leave him till two hours after his death we knew that poor oats was walking to his death but though we tried to dissuade him we knew it was the act of a brave man and an english gentleman we all hope to meet the end with a similar spirit and assuredly the end is not far i can only write at lunch and then only occasionally the cold is intense minus 40 degrees at midday my companions are unendingly cheerful but we are all on the verge of serious frostbites and though we constantly talk of fetching through i don't think any one of us believes it in his heart we are cold on the march now and at all times except meals yesterday we had to lay up for a blizzard and today we moved dreadfully slowly we are at number 14 pony camp only two pony marches from one ton depot we leave here our thea dole light a camera and oats's sleeping bags diaries etc and geological specimens carried at wilson's special request will be found with us or on our sledge sunday march 18 today lunch we are 21 miles from the depot ill fortune presses but better may come we have had more wind and drift from ahead yesterday had to stop marching wind northwest force for temperature minus 35 degrees no human being could face it and we are worn out nearly my right foot has gone nearly all the toes two days ago i was proud possessor of best feet these are the steps of my downfall like an ass i mixed a small spoonful of curry powder with my melted pomekin it gave me violent indigestion i lay awake and in pain all night woke and felt done on the march foot went and i didn't know it a very small measure of neglect and have a foot which is not pleasant to contemplate hours takes first place in condition but there is not much to choose after all the others are still confident of getting through or pretend to be i don't know we have the last half fill of oil in our primus and a very small quantity of spirit this alone between us and thirst the wind is fair for the moment and that is perhaps a fact to help the mileage would have seemed ridiculously small on our outward journey monday march 19 lunch we camped with difficulty last night and were dreadfully cold till our supper of cold pomekin and biscuit and a half a panicking of cocoa cooked over the spirit then contrary to expectation we got warm and all slept well today we started in the usual dragging manner sludge dreadfully heavy we are 15 and a half miles from the depot and not to get there in three days what progress we have two days food but barely a day's fuel all our feet are getting bad wilson's best my right foot worst left all right there is no chance to nurse one's feet till we can get hot food into us amputation is the least i can hope for now but will the trouble spread that is the serious question the weather doesn't give us a chance the wind from north to northwest and minus 40 degrees temperature today wednesday march 21 got within 11 miles of depot monday night footnote the 60th camp from the pole and a footnote had to lay up all yesterday in severe blizzard footnote the fatal blizzard mr frank wild who led one wing of dr. mosson's expedition on the northern coast of the Antarctic continent queen mary's land many miles to the west of the raw sea writes that from march 21 for a period of nine days we were kept in camp by the same blizzard which proved fatal to scott and his gallant companions times june 2 1913 blizzards however are so local that even when as in this case two are nearly contemporaneous it is not safe to conclude that they are part of the same current of air and footnote today for loren hope wilson and bowers going to depot for fuel Thursday march 22 and 23 blizzard bad as ever wilson and bowers unable to start tomorrow last chance no fuel and only one or two of food left must be near the end have decided it shall be natural we shall march for the depot with or without our effects and die in our tracks Thursday march 29 since the 21st we have had a continuous gale from west southwest and southwest we had fuel to make two cups of tea apiece and bear food for two days on the 20th every day we have been ready to start for our depot 11 miles away but outside the door of the tent it remains a scene of whirling drift i do not think we can hope for any better things now we shall stick it out to the end but we are getting weaker of course and the end cannot be far it seems a pity but i do not think i can write more our scott for god's sake look after our people wilson and bowers were found in the attitude of sleep their sleeping bags closed over their heads as they would naturally close them scott died later he had thrown back the flaps of his sleeping bag and opened his coat the little wallet containing the three notebooks was under his shoulders and his arm flung across wilson so they were found eight months later end of second part of chapter 20 section 44 of scott's last expedition volume one this is a libravox recording all libravox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit libravox.org scott's last expedition volume one the journals of robert falken scott arranged by lennard huxley third part of chapter 20 the last march with the diaries in the tent were found the following letters to mrs ea wilson my dear mrs wilson if this letter reaches you bill and i will have gone out together we are very near it now and i should like you to know how splendid he was at the end everlastingly cheerful and ready to sacrifice himself for others never a word of blame to me for leading him into this mess he is not suffering luckily at least only minor discomforts his eyes have a comfortable blue look of hope and his mind is peaceful with the satisfaction of his faith in regarding himself as part of the great scheme of the almighty i can do no more to comfort you than to tell you that he died as he lived a brave true man the best of comrades and staunchest of friends my whole heart goes out to you in pity yours are scott to mrs bowers my dear mrs bowers i am afraid this will reach you after one of the heaviest blows of your life i write when we are very near the end of our journey and i am finishing it in company with two gallant noble gentlemen one of these is your son he had come to be one of my closest and soundest friends and i appreciate his wonderful upright nature his ability and energy as the troubles have thickened his dauntless spirit ever shown brighter and he has remained cheerful hopeful and indomitable to the end the ways of providence are inscrutable but there must be some reason why such a young vigorous and promising life is taken my whole heart goes out in pity for you yours are scott to the end he has talked of you and his sisters one sees what a happy home he must have had and perhaps it is well to look back on nothing but happiness he remains unselfish self-reliant and splendidly hopeful to the end believing in god's mercy to you to sir j. m. berry my dear berry we are pegging out in a very comfortless spot hoping this letter may be found and sent to you i write a word of farewell more practically i want you to help my widow and my boy your god son we are showing that englishmen can still die with a bold spirit fighting it out to the end it will be known that we have accomplished our object in reaching the pole and that we have done everything possible even to sacrificing ourselves in order to save sick companions i think this makes an example for englishmen in the future and that the country ought to help those who are left behind to mourn us i leave my poor girl and your god son wilson leaves a widow and edgar evans also a widow in humble circumstances do what you can to get their claims recognized goodbye i am not at all afraid of the end but sad to miss many a humble pleasure which i had planned for the future on our long marches i may not have proved a great explorer but i have done the greatest march ever made and come very near to great success goodbye my dear friend yours ever r scott we are in a desperate state feet frozen etc no fuel and a long way from food but it would do your heart good to be in our tent to hear our songs and the cheery conversation as to what we will do when we get to hut point later we are very near the end but have not and will not lose our good cheer we have four days of storm in our tent and nowhere's food or fuel we did intend to finish ourselves when things proved like this but we have decided to die naturally in the track as a dying man my dear friend be good to my wife and child give the boy a chance in life if the state won't do it he ought to have good stuff in him i never met a man in my life whom i admired and loved more than you but i never could show you how much your friendship meant to me for you had much to give and i nothing to the right honorable sir edgar spare baronette dated march 16 1912 latitude 79.5 degrees my dear sir edgar i hope this may reach you i fear we must go and that it leaves the expedition in a bad muddle but we have been to the pole and we shall die like gentlemen i regret only for the women we leave behind i thank you a thousand times for your help and support and your generous kindness if this diary is found it will show how we stuck by dying companions and fought the thing out well to the end i think this will show that the spirit of pluck and power to endure has not passed out of our race wilson the best fellow that ever stepped has sacrificed himself again and again to the sick men of the party i write to many friends hoping the letters will reach them some time after we are found next year we very nearly came through and it's a pity to have missed it but lately i have felt that we have overshot our mark no one is to blame and i hope no attempt will be made to suggest that we have lacked support goodbye to you and your dear kind wife yours ever sincerely are scott to vice admiral sir francis charles bridgeman kcb o kcb my dear sir francis i fear we have shipped up a close shave i am writing a few letters which i hope will be delivered someday i want to thank you for the friendship you gave me of late years and to tell you how extraordinarily pleasant i found it to serve under you i want to tell you that i was not too old for this job it was the younger men that went under first after all we were setting a good example to our countrymen if not by getting into a tight place by facing it like men when we were there we could have come through had we neglected the sick goodbye and goodbye to dear lady bridgeman yours ever are scott excuse writing it is minus 40 degrees and has been for nine a month to vice admiral sir george look clerk edgerton kcb my dear sir george i fear we have shot our bolt but we have been to pole and done the longest journey on record i hope these letters may find their destination someday subsidiary reasons for our failure to return are due to the sickness of different members of the party but the real thing that has stopped us is the awful weather and unexpected cold towards the end of the journey this traverse of the barrier has been quite three times as severe as any experience we had on the summit there is no accounting for it but the result has thrown out my calculations and here we are a little more than a hundred miles from the base in petering out goodbye please see my widow is looked after as far as admiralty is concerned our scott my kindest regards to lady edgerton i can never forget all your kindness to mr j j kinsey christ church march 24 1912 my dear kinsey i'm afraid we are pretty well done four days of blizzard just as we were getting to the last depot my thoughts have been with you often you have been a brick you will pull the expedition through i'm sure my thoughts are for my wife and boy will you do what you can for them if the country won't i want the boy to have a good chance in the world but you know the circumstances well enough if i knew the wife and boy were in safekeeping i should have little regret in leaving the world for i feel that the country need not be ashamed of us our journey has been the biggest on record and nothing but the most exceptional hard luck at the end would have caused us to fail to return i have been to the south pole as we set out god bless you and dear mrs kinsey it is good to remember you and your kindness your friend our scott letters to his mother his wife his brother-in-law sir william ellison mccartney admiral sir louis bowmont and mr and mrs reginald smith were also found from which came the following extracts the great god has called me and i feel it will add a fearful blow to the heavy ones that have fallen on you in life but take comfort in that i die at peace with the world and myself not afraid indeed it has been most singularly unfortunate for the risks i have taken never seemed excessive i want to tell you that we have missed getting through by a narrow margin which was justifiably within the risk of such a journey after all we have given our lives for our country we have actually made the longest journey on record and we have been the first englishmen at the south pole you must understand that it is too cold to write much it's a pity the luck didn't come our way because every detail of equipment is right i shall not have suffered any pain but leave the world fresh from harness and full of good health and vigor since writing the above we got to within 11 miles of our depot with one hot meal and two days cold food we should have got through but have been held for four days by a frightful storm i think the best chance has gone we have decided not to kill ourselves but to fight to the last for that depot but in the fighting there is a painless end make the boy interested in natural history if you can it is better than games they encourage it at some schools i know you will keep him in the open air above all he must guard and you must guard him against indolence make him a strenuous man i had to force myself into being strenuous as you know had always an inclination to be idle there is a piece of the union jack i put up at the south pole in my private kitbag together with omensons black flag and other trifles send a small piece of the union jack to the king and a small piece to queen alexandra what lots and lots i could tell you of this journey how much better it has been than lounging in too great comfort at home what tales you would have for the boys but what a price to pay tell sir clements i thought much of him and never regretted him putting me in command of the discovery message to the public the causes of the disaster were not due to faulty organization but to misfortune in all risks which had to be undertaken one the loss of pony transport in march 1911 obliged me to start later than i had intended and obliged the limits of stuff transported to be narrowed two the weather threw out the outward journey and especially the long gale in 83 degrees south stopped us three the soft snow in lower reaches of glacier again reduced pace we fought these untoward events with a will and conquered but it cut into our provision reserve every detail of our food supplies clothing and depots made on the interior ice sheet and over that long stretch of 700 miles to the pole and back worked out to perfection the advance party would have returned to the glacier in fine form and with surplus of food but for the astonishing failure of the man whom we had least expected to fail edgar evans was thought the strongest man of the party the beard more glacier is not difficult in fine weather but on our return we did not get a single completely fine day this with a sick companion enormously increased our anxieties as i have said elsewhere we got into frightfully rough ice and edgar evans received a concussion of the brain he died a natural death but left us a shaken party with the season unduly advanced but all the facts above enumerated whereas nothing to the surprise which awaited us on the barrier i maintain that our arrangements for returning were quite adequate and that no one in the world would have expected the temperatures and surfaces which we encountered at this time of year on the summit in latitude 85 degrees 86 degrees we had minus 20 degrees minus 30 degrees on the barrier in latitude 82 degrees 10 000 feet lower we had minus 30 degrees in the day minus 47 degrees at night pretty regularly with continuous headwind during our day marches it is clear that these circumstances came on very suddenly and our wreck is certainly due to the sudden advent of severe weather which does not seem to have any satisfactory cause i do not think human beings ever came through such a month as we have come through and should have got through in spite of the weather but for the sickening of a second companion captain oaths and a shortage of fuel in our depots for which i cannot account and finally but for the storm which has fallen on us within 11 miles of the depot at which we hoped to secure our final supplies surely misfortune could scarcely have exceeded this last blow we arrived within 11 miles of our old one ton camp with fuel for one last meal and food for two days for four days we have been unable to leave the tent the gale howling about us we are weak writing is difficult but for my own sake i do not regret this journey which has shown that englishmen can endure hardships help one another and meet death with as great a fortitude as ever in the past we took risks we knew we took them things have come out against us and therefore we have no cause for complaint but bow to the will of providence determined still to do our best to the last but if we have been willing to give our lives to this enterprise which is for the honor of our country i appeal to our countrymen to see that those who depend on us are properly cared for had we lived i should have had a tale to tell of the hardy hood endurance and courage of my companions which would have stirred the heart of every englishmen these rough notes and our dead bodies must tell the tale but surely surely a great rich country like ours will see that those who are dependent on us are properly provided for our scott end of scott's last expedition volume one the journals of robert falken scott arranged by lennard huxley