 Greetings, everyone. This is James P. Madonna of Megalife 21 and Progressive Discussions. And before I go on to do my next video talk show, I am stopping by from my immediate area off Route 17 South in Hasbrook Heights, New Jersey, the one and only, the famous Bendiksteiner, as seen on the Jerry Seinfeld Netflix series, Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee. That's right. It is in my close area and I love it here. Outstanding food, outstanding coffee, and I will go in soon before I go on to do my next show. James P. Madonna of Megalife 21 and Progressive Discussions here. And aside from the famous Bendiksteiner in Hasbrook Heights, New Jersey, Route 17 South, right behind the famous Teterboro Airport where everyone with private jets lands who wish to visit New York City. We are right next door, directly next door to the famous Bananas Comedy Club in the Holiday Inn on Route 17 South in Hasbrook Heights, New Jersey, and there it is. The famous Bananas Comedy Club with a very highly rated Gabriel's Restaurant. I'm saying, you know what I'm saying? Then you repeat it again. Then you repeat it again. Like the Chattery Teeth at the Magic Shop. No, I tell you, that's my line. I'm always going to. I get sick of the people that talk too much. And you know what I'm saying? And you know what else they say? Let me tell you something. Like they'll say that over. I didn't understand a thing of what you said. Literally. Anyway, fuck it. I don't... You know, I've had somebody... I've had somebody actually get angry with me because I did not understand their accent. Let me get out. Let me get out. I said, I'm sorry, sir. I can't understand you. You sound like a bloodhurtin' idiot. I'm sorry. And then when I tell them your accent is real heavy, they give me a dirty look like it's me. No, it's not me. Don't go fuck themselves. It's not me. Okay, fuck off. I don't care. I said, I'm sorry, sir. I can't understand what you're saying. One guy says, you don't talk a lot. I said, no, I don't. Well, you get to the point. I said, I get to the point and that's it. I said, why do you guys insist on going on and on? I said, you have no clue how annoying that is. Oh, boy. I got that. I'm like, ooh. That just got my whole day so to roll. So when is this hurricane supposed to touch ground? Thursday of the Friday and sit there for a while. In this bath, recording at the hurricane of a lifetime. And you know how many people want to want to ride it out? Not many. No, no, no, the idiots do. Well, this is the biggest evacuation in US history. So they're all getting out for the most part. And then when they interviewed them, the ones that want to ride it out, they sound like a bunch of stupid rednecks, like inbred people. They don't know what they're doing. Mother nature will win every time. It's no father nature. Get steps in. Let's cut your shit, bitch. Andrew. No, no, the human being doesn't. The human being never learns. Remember Andrew? A human being is ignorant. And put the coast guard and everyone else in life is dangerous when you realize you stopped. Remember? He knows. I tell him all the time what my father always said to me. You can't get through to people. Yeah, but remember what Andrew did in South Florida? And you know what they said? Or our homes are tied down with steel cable. That don't mean nothing. Prefabs. But you know, the insurance companies got tired of paying out. They said, you got to build concrete, block and steel homes on pilings. Elevated. How many people before that? With the steel shutters that close. Again, you can't get through to people. You know, it's like in Southern California. You know, people are still building up on the hills. So the mudslide, will the mudslide and their homes come tumbling down? Mudslides? There was a phenomenal article in the USA today in this week. What did you say? We are not prepared for any of nature's catastrophes. Climate change. And you listen to everything. You can't be prepared for any of nature's catastrophes. You can be. You can be. They listened to what you did. They asked for these people. Nobody had any of them. You know, after Mount Etna. And then in the morning. And then in the morning. After Mount Etna and Sicily erupted, they still planted grapevines alongside of Mount Etna. They said, oh, the soil is great. Oh, yeah? Well, guess what? You lost your farm. I'll say, Helens, what about the super volcano of Yellowstone? If that thing blows, forget it. I asked this. They don't realize it's old faithful. That little guy there. There's a huge volcano down below it. That's the super volcano? It's going to moor everything. I asked a guy from Oklahoma. You have a basement? He goes, no. I says, why do people in Tornado Alley do not have a basement? Or a shelter? Well, it could be the land. I know in Texas, you don't have a basement. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because the ground is too much sand. Yeah, they can't go down. Because everything's got to be on a slab. Yeah, yeah. You have a shelter built. In the yard somewhere. You have to build a shelter somewhere. Okay. You can't build a basement. At five. No, you're safe. You're safe. No. And F5 could center track the trail of flying through the air. There wasn't a box. Yeah. No, that's real. Twister. Twister. What's going to stop you now? Stay on the ground. The doors probably won't be still safe. Was that Meg Ryan? That movie she was... Twister. Twister. I saw Helen Hunt. What a bad girl. Her father's hanging off a dear life. Yeah. Yeah, right. I saw another movie. Not about the test. Home Alone. I walked five minutes and I said, this is God. It took them that long to see that. Notice that their son wasn't in the car. What a boring movie. Oh God, I was in that movie. Yeah, I heard Michael Jackson had a think for him. Macaulay Cogan. The movies I've seen, they are boring as can be. Yeah. Yeah, who is that story? Evil Eyes. Evil Eyes. I'm sure he was... Well, Jack... That's why we got the Jackie Cogan law, that the parents were ripping off the child's stars for many decades. That's after the Cogan law, though. Sometimes the lack of money is a root of all evil, too. Sometimes the lack of money. It's crazy. I couldn't believe my ears yesterday when Donald Trump was bragging about his success when he handled Puerto Rico. His success at handling... The only thing he did for Puerto Rico was post rolls of paper towels. It was not a good idea. And insult them. That's like insulting the people. Remember when he closed Island Beach State Park so him and his family could have the whole beach to themselves? I don't understand what these guys are thinking. You don't need a beach. Can you tell me what they're thinking? Politicians. You see the shit. I had a friend of mine. Overdive. He's an asshole. Yeah, he was... I tell people the truth in the way it is. He was kind of negative. I said, okay. Negative? You telling me... I said, negative. I'm telling you the truth. You tell me what's good. Name one thing. I said, I'm waiting. What's good? You lost your son. Your other son won't even talk to you. Your wife left you. What's good? Me and Billy yesterday, we were saying it's not negativity. It's constructive pessimism. It's reality. It's reality. I tell people, stop bearing your head in the sand like a damn monster, pretending nothing's going on around you. And better face reality. Reality sucks. We're calling the park. I am not reading the bad. I'm just telling you what's going on. I said, you've got a problem. I said, are you going to start seeing everything? And don't give me your book. I said, don't give me your crap. There's a word. There's a word. It's not going to get better. There's a word in the dictionary. It's called Pollyanna. Look at Syria. Pollyanna. This man killed over 500,000 of his own people. I don't know. Al-Assad. Look at this moron from the Philippines. Meritase. He brags about murder. There's another guy, Erdogan of Turkey. People are dying left and right. Nobody, you know, really, they don't get it. Yes, everything is... People say that to me all the time. You're being negative, James. You're being negative. You think it's bad here. Can you tell me what's good? We're just taking a day by day. Oh, we're doing it. Right. The middle class. You only hope right now, basically, is if you hit the lottery if you play. Yeah, the powerball. The new president is going to give you this victory. Who is going to give you this? The governor is going to give you... You're not going to get nothing. It's still going to work. Yeah, Murphy. Murphy. What is Murphy doing? He's just going to raise your taxes. What is he going to do? Did he lower property taxes on the middle class? I don't send this guy doing anything. You know, the middle class... You know what they should do? Bring back Floreo. Can't get any worse. Bring that moron back. They're at the middle. He wants to get free college. Bring him back. Bring him back. Let it go. Let's screw it all up. We have one big slut. McGreevy. Remember McGreevy? Bring him back. Bring him both back. I saw him on TV recently. He's a pastor now. He's a minister. He had to bring his parents on TV to announce that he'd be gay. We should become... Really? He had a beautiful wife. I know. Beautiful wife. All the parents have to sit there while he announced it. Why try to get it to him? You want to announce it? Do it on your own. Don't bring your mother and father on TV too. Well... I mean... Why? Why did he have to do that? Oh my God. Hold on. Don't say nothing yet. Have you ever seen a walking dead? She's from that. This... This... This woman... Watch out. She's a sex worker. This woman... Listen. This woman a week and a half ago told... Looked in my eye and says, I come here every day at 3.15 p.m. We haven't seen her for a week and a half. That's what the... She doesn't have a damn clue. I like... No, she doesn't. I like one. She's an actress. She cannot even begin... He says to her, well, you're going to get the money to pay for these things you want to do. I think this should be a landslide. And this... And this... She's an asshole. And this... And this Jeff Bezos of Amazon. That... Oh man. He doesn't even hire people outright. He has people from agencies coming in. And he pays them shit. I want that. No benefits. Come on, Nixon. She wouldn't even let him talk. No, she was awful. I mean, that's not right. I am... But give the guy a chance to talk. What's her name? You're not in a debate. Why'd you turn? Give me my... Kellyanne Conway kept interrupting Chris Cuomo. Listen, it was bad, though. Chris Cuomo? She was a really nasty Nixon with that debate. I'd heard her even more. Oh, she's... She has no chance to win. I get a better chance of winning than her. She's an ultra-feminist, quote-unquote, if you get my drift. She doesn't know how to manage money. She doesn't even know the budget in New York City because you don't have a clue as to anything about this. I came here, but it was too warm, so I left. She's... Well, yeah. Now we're hearing the BS now. No, she's... You know what I mean by feminist? Oh, I'm on work. Oh, hey, hey, uh... I went to Bill's court to tell him it was too warm, but he didn't even see me because he was talking on the phone. But you told him you're here every day. I know, but I got busy, and I didn't talk. Busy doing what? Oh, I need to... Oh, you did not. I cleaned up a little bit, but not much. No, you didn't. You said you were here every day. Every day. At least by 3 p.m. Seriously. Why did you lie? We were supposed to be here today. I waited in for... The age. Why did you lie to him? You said every day. But I got busy, yeah. You did not get busy. I was doing things. No, you weren't. I had things to do. Oh, God. When you did not... That's my bottle of whiskey. I made it today. You didn't have things to do. Well, you told me every day. You did things to do. Your key phrase is every day. I went out to breakfast with my brother. What does that have to do with... What does that have to do with every day? Yeah, but I couldn't make it if I was going out to breakfast. Not breakfast. Breakfast? What does that have to do with 3.15? What does that have to do with 3.15? What? What does that have to do with 3.15? 3.15 p.m. What is the afternoon? You said every day, though. I made it here. I can't make it all the time. You told him every day. I don't say every day at 3.15. That's what pissed him off. You said every day. I don't think she's getting this. She's not getting it. You said every day. Listen, I don't care if it's bacon and egg. I don't say every day. You're supposed to have an egg. You get an egg. Those are for somebody else. What? Egg. You get an egg. If she cancels, you get somebody else. You're dealing with it. She's going to make up the hours. That's not the point. You need an agent. Somebody should have been there. Let me ask you. What's going on here? Let me ask you a magic word. You should have said I'm here occasionally around 3.15. Once in a while. Don't say every day. Why are you lying? Come on, man. Really. I meant occasionally. How are we supposed to know that? You told him every day. I don't use the word. Oh, here you go. You said every day. Then Jimmy's a liar. He's right in the eye and says every day. Oh, I have a magic question. Did you get the same Benedict's medallion blessed with holy water? I did. With holy water? Yeah. Did you take it out of the wrapper? Yeah. Because he has to touch it with the holy water? Yeah. You did? Yeah. Good. I'm proud of you. And you put it on your headboard with the tape like you said you were going to do? Why? Why? Do you sleep on the couch? Because of the air conditioner. So I can have the air conditioner. Oh, you mean the AC is in the living room? Yeah. You don't have one in the bedroom? I couldn't. But what do you do when you want to raise it? When you and Ray are well, you know. What do you do? You know how you solve the problem? You know what I do? Get one of those big fans and put it in a hallway facing the bedrooms. I'll be back after the bath. Yes. It'll take all the coal there. You know, put the living room air conditioner on. I'm afraid of walking into it. That's how I got this big scar. Get a night light. Oh, you did not. Put a night light in there. Get a night light. Put the AC on cold in the living room. Put the fan on high in the hallway. Face in the rooms. Get a night light like I have. I got LED night lights all over the house. Otherwise, you're going to start running into walls and everything. And the coal there will come right in your bedroom. It works. The air conditioner you said? Yeah. Pretend this table is your living room. Pretend this is the hallway. Go into your bedroom and I guess the bathroom, right? Put the fan right where the living room meets the hallway and face it towards the bedrooms this way. That's your bedroom. That table is your bedroom. This is the living room. This is the hallway. Put it like the fan right here. So it takes all that coal there and it shoots it down the hallway. It'll go into your bedroom. This is my bedroom and this is the hallway. Okay. Now the hallway facing your bedroom. The hallway doesn't face my bedroom. Does the hallway go by the living room? It goes by the living room. So that's where you're going to put the big fan facing, not the kitchen, but facing your bedroom. And that'll blow all the coal there from the living room and you'll feel it and it'll go right into your bedroom. But you have to have it on high. You can't have it on low. That should be easy enough. Yeah, but you should have seen how hot it was. Now it's, I'm not complaining. It's working now. It's too hot in my lap. Well, at least... You can't breathe 15 like a short bill in my lap. At least if it's chilly, you can always wear clothing and your jacket or sweater. If it's hot, you could be buck naked. It doesn't matter. You're still going to be hot and uncomfortable. You could be naked and you could be dying of the heat and humidity. But if you're cold, you can always wear layers. No, no, I'm comfortable. You must have socks on. I got heavy work socks. No, no, they're cotton, but I get them at the dollar store. But no, no, layers, you can't go wrong. When October rolls around, I think you better start wearing socks. I wear, I wear layers. I wear... If I put my insulated, what's the word? Quilted vest. I have a vest that's quilted. If I wear that and a windbreaker from the gap over that, I'm more warm than if I put a winter coat on. Why? Because when you wear layers, pockets of air get trapped. I'm telling her about how effective layers are in a winter time. Why? No, she might remember what I'm telling her. She's not going to remember? Oh, God, help me. She's speaking with a load of bullshit, aren't you, right there? Not a bullshit. Bullshit. Hell, you're not. She got the medallion blessed with holy water by a priest. I don't know. Well, she looked me in the eye and told me. Uh-huh. What's up? She looked you in the eye since you see her every day at 3.15. What's I got to do with it? Oh, by the way, there's a difference between occasionally and every day. I just want you to know that. Hey, let me see if your purse... What's it called? What medallion is that? St. Benedict. Did she get a what? Blessed. By the priest. Yes, with holy water. Yeah. Our friend here at McDonald's, I mean, did she get the medallion of St. Benedict blessed with holy water by the priest of the church? No. She says, no, you're lying. Oh, yeah. No, a lie. Is Eileen feeding Jeremy a total load of bullshit? That's right, a little bit, yeah. Yeah. A profuse lion or compulsive lion is a very bad trait to have as a human. God, Eileen. Jesus. Eileen. Why do you do that? Why can't you? You know how hard it is? I can't believe you. Come on. You know how hard it is to find that particular St. Benedict medallion? You said it was hard. They're very, very hard to find. Eileen says we can't believe you. Is that true? Now my irony is starting to bother me because I'm getting all set. Eileen wants to stop itself. Is Eileen feeding her another load of bullshit? Right in the bucket? Look at that by itself. Right in the rear. Does kissing the Blarney stone mean you're full of shit? Where in Ireland? In Ireland. In Ireland. There's a legend about kissing the Blarney stone. Does that mean you're full of shit? Why did you ask about a Blarney stone? Because that's like an old saying, like if you have gifted gab and you're Irish, they say you kiss the Blarney stone. I don't get it. Why'd you bring that up though? Because I'm trying to invalidate her. What's that got to do with her? Because she talks about her Irish pride. She's full of shit. Liar. She didn't get that thing. You know she didn't go up there. She used to say blesses. But when somebody can look you in the eye, that's pretty bad. There's a chronic liar that believes what they say, you know it's a lie. She's a lie. Well, our president does it, so I guess... Where'd she go? She'd leave her to the bathroom. She didn't say a word. She didn't say a word. Was right here again or something? That's like sociopathic. Is that the right word? When somebody feels no remorse for what they do? Sociopathic. You know, I get up, I say I'm going to the bathroom. Well, that's psychotic. You don't just get up and walk away. You used to remember that. You had a pretoy told you. Because I had to go. Because I had to go real bad. Why don't you tell people where you're going, remember? I should have said... I got all on you about that. I should have said excuse. You used to get right up against what? I'm like, where the fuck is he going? I get up and I say, I'll be right back. I'm going to the bathroom. I should have said excuse me. I'm going to the men's room. Yes. Well, I'm agreeing with you. We call it, but for a long time... Manners. You did, yes. Communication skills. Lack of... Going to the bathroom. It was a lack of manners that I did not... I'm going to the bathroom. Can I bring you anything? Well, not from the bathroom. Oh, by the way, speaking of men's room, this guy ran into the stall to urinate. He would not stand next to me in urinate. Well, first of all, you got to... You got to let us know where. Here. Oh, here, okay. In the restroom here. In the men's room. We go next to here. He came in. He looked like he was headed for the urinal. He booked it into the stall with the door open, urinated, and that was it. I know. I've had that happen. It's almost like these guys... They will not stand next to you. They're so afraid. They're so afraid... People will stand next to me. What's the word? Homophobic? Yeah. They're afraid that a guy is going to be checking their junk out. He's homophiliac. Oh, nothing. I lean, Jesus. The amulet said you're a pathological liar. You lie constantly. You do. You do. You do. You do. Why, though? You know, really. It's really. You know, we're your friends. You shouldn't, you know. You don't have to lie. Tell the truth. No lie to your friends. Yeah, tell the truth. We never lie to you. The amulet told us about your hoarding, and then he said I threw some things out. It was too, too expired coupons. Uh, excuse me. How come you're not resting your purse on the table? Did you clean the purse out? Why? Just a little bit. You keep laughing. Why? I like to save things, Phil. Why? Why? It makes me feel good. How good? Like, I got things. They're ex- Useless things. But it's junk. You think, you think Red Fox and Sanford and Sun, everything in his front yard had value? Most of it was junk. It was called the junkyard, right? Eileen's junkyard. Well, that's her purse. Well, maybe it's her apartment. God, Eileen. What's wrong? You know clutter is bad luck according to the ancient Chinese? Oh, yeah. Clutter is really bad because it blocks positive energy, cheap energy from coming into your home. I bet you're not eating well, are you? What? You're not eating well. Eating well? Eating well. I guess I'm eating well. You never know. You always tell me you're not. Now you guess you are. Sometimes. It was today, Wednesday? Yeah. So that makes it maniacal Wednesday madness today. Okay. Got you. That'd be a good reality. I had two hot dogs. Yeah, but you have to bite them. Don't suck them. Did you? I bit them. When you bit the hot dogs, did you say, oh, Ray, you never taste the sweet? Ray, hope you're here. Hope you're here soon. I miss you. Ah, hardy-hard-hard-hard. Thank you much. Ooh, or that friend of yours, Gallupi. Guy Gallupi, what the hell's his name? The boyfriend? Yeah. I forgot his name. Joy Boyd. Joy Boyd. Got Eileen. Oh my, the guy that you haven't physically been with any year. Are we ever going to straighten you out somehow? You know what? No wonder my herni- my sec- my herni is hurt and burning now. I'm really disappointed that you lied to us about stuff. Are you going to rain tomorrow? She's changing the subject. Only over your apartment building. He said, what? Then you repeated it perfectly. Why did you do that? Just to make sure I'm here with this music blast in here. It's not blasting. It's actually low. Yes, Eileen. Oh my God. Blasting? Funny when I'm stressed it burns. I called you up on Eileen Complex. No, it's the fact that she profusely lies. And she has- She loves you. And she has a- She loves you. And she thinks- Praise you about Jimmy. Aren't you? And she thinks that junk has value. Remember, one receipt- My God, what the hell is this? Looks like Gomez Adams. Remember, the Adams family- Ticket tail. Holy shit. Look how long that is. You can't make this stuff up, Billy. Remember- They're not reality show. Eileen's world. Remember when Gomez used to check the stock market, he used to pull the tape out of- The ticker tape. Yeah. Oh my God. That was as far as the fuckable big books. Now, if she kept on pulling it out- There are the expiration dates on there. Oh, okay. Yeah, but what else is in there? Do you have any animals in there? Yeah, like decomposing animals? Yeah. Do you have any roadkill? Eye guy. Eye guy is in there. I forgot the hot dog she had will probably roadkill. Oh my God, she's really studying, Anna. What are you- What are you- What is she looking at? There's no- What's a ban deodorant? That's any deodorant, right? No, ban is a- A brand name. Ban, B-A-N. Any brand name deodorant? No, ban is a brand name. Spell it. Spell it. B-A-N. That's a company. That's a brand- That's a name of deodorant. That's a company. It's a brand name. Yeah, yes. Say ban on it. It's not debris, right? That's a different brand. That's a point. It says ban. It says ban? That's the name of the deodorant, right? Yes, Eileen. If it wasn't for Eileen, liquor stores would lose a lot of money. Eileen, you wonder why people drink. You know what? I gotta stop and get a bottle of vodka or something before I go home. I got wine, but I think I need something a little more potent. I've got that fucking guy this morning. What is going on? How could ban and she thinks deodorant is universal? It's a brand name. It's like buying old spice. It only applies to old spice. Ban is ban. Degree is degree. By the way, their commercials are funny. They're cute. You know what commercials I hate the most? It's progressive insurance company. And all insurance company commercials are like nationwide with that stupid song. Nationwide is on your side. What are you looking at? You think nationwide? It's fun. Want me to tear them up for you? Yeah. No, you won't. Let me do it. You know, all that stuff in your purse can contribute to swamp ass? Forget it. I just had diarrhea before I came here. That's a good thing Billy's not eating. Well, you have diarrhea in the mouth sometimes. You know why you had diarrhea? Because you're not eating properly. You're probably not getting enough fiber. You're too busy with Ray. You're peeling yourself off his swamp ass a little bit maybe. Has Ray been like evacuating your colon lately? Yeah. He's given her an old fashioned colonoscopy. I bet Ray has his own key. Oh wait a minute. She's gonna be reading this for an hour. Wait a minute. Ray doesn't have a spare key to your apartment, does he? You're getting in there. You putting that whole thing back in there? Oh, fuck. Oh, Iris Whiskey, where are you now? Or Scotch? Everything is so beautiful. We're losing our minds. We've got to get your head straight from that. We're losing our minds. Now for Mule, if you stood behind a horse and he kicked you in the head, would you become a genius in a split second? I'll be back, I want to see you. You know what? I think I need a little oxygen myself. They talk to Irene, maybe you'll talk some sense into her. I don't know what else to say to her. She won't lose it. The ambulance says everything she told us is not true. So I might as well come on and get some air. Oh, did you get your car fixed? Should I believe it? I'll be right back. Should I believe it? Answers. I don't do it. I don't read for it. So I want a true answer. Now let me ask you a good question. It's a bit whimsical, which is a funny word. This hurricane that's going to hit. It's going to hit Friday, right? Now let me finish. Thursday into Friday. Go ahead, Jerry. The hurricane is going to hit. You think they would break a record selling the hurricane for senior citizens? Do you ever see that infomercial? The hurricane? No. It's a cane. See, that's got nothing to do with it. I think they should sell. They should do that infomercial nonstop as the hurricane hits. It's called the hurricane. It's a cane. Thursday night into Friday. Everything goes over her head. That was better than it did. Thursday night into Friday and shit there. But you know the infomercial. At 6.30? No, that night. I don't know what time. How long is it going to last for? A number of days. It's going to sit this way. It's not coming here, are we? It's not coming. The North Carolina area. I didn't know that. The Carolinas. So what's called leave is coming here? Rain. Who told you that? We're going to get heavy rain, torrential. Is that the right word? Torrential rain. No, I don't think we're getting torrential rain. We're going to get a tropical storm, probably. I didn't hear that. Well, I said it's going to affect the east coast. Yeah, the east coast down south. Oh, it did turn slightly south. No, it's just where they said it was going at all times. Myrtle Beach is going to get... This hurricane Florence. Is it going to hit us up here in New Jersey at all? Jimmy here said we're supposed to get torrential rain. Is this from the hurricane? Is that true? Yeah, we'll see. They don't say it. I don't know where you got that from, because they don't say anything about Jersey getting hit at all. The fact of the week, I'm supposed to be beautiful up here. Sunny in the 80s. Oh, so the rain we've been having is going to end? It has nothing to do with the hurricane. This rain has nothing to do with the hurricane that we're getting. They said there is no tying in whatsoever. I heard a chime, Myrtle. Is that your phone? That's if you find your phone. How did you get it? Oh, look, she knows where her phone is. Why did you start bringing your phone? Oh, she has a smart phone. No, I don't know. How do we know where it was ringing? No, I don't know. Did they leave a voice message? Oh, for God's sakes. Did you ever see tribute of Budweiser commercials? Yeah, you showed me. You showed me. It was a great commercial. Listen, you ever use a manual? A booklet. A manual. Did you ever come with a manual? Yes, I did. They all come with a manual. Not a manual. I work with Archie Bunker. A manual. Use a manual. No, you didn't throw it away, I'm sure. Why would you throw away to use a manual for that phone? And you keep all that junk? And you throw... She throws away important things that she keeps the junk. Help me, Johnny Walker, where are you? The manual is important because... Okay, let's find out. It's a manual for your smartphone. Our friend here at McDonald's, I lead him. Here's a smartphone. The manual that came with it. Is that in her apartment somewhere? Yes. Yeah. So that's me scoffing at the amulet when she laughs like that. It's a scoff. I was afraid of it, so... You were scared. You might be a little scared at the amulet. Scared at the amulet? Not the manual. No, no. The amulet. Scared of the leprechaun. Remember from the horror movie. You know, the one that said, where's me gold? Where's me lucky chimes? Alright, you better take that. Hello? What's up? Well, where are you? Alright, call me when you get here. I'm at McDonald's, okay? Let's see. Yeah, so pull in there. So call me when you get here, okay? Alright, we'll see you here. Tom. Okay, thanks. Bye-bye. I know him, see? Who is it? Listen, I'm gonna show you something. Watch. Pay attention to me. Please. Listen, you're making me nervous. This is tech. You need to make a nice call. This is text messages, okay? Jerry, text message you. That's Jerry Galupa. Okay. Portugal. Portugal. Hey, hey, hey. One a banana, two a banana. Remember when he did the banana thing? One a banana, two a banana, three a banana. And he put it together. Trying to tell Lucas Tello he's selling him three bananas. This is a telephone receiver. Even Bill could see that. Okay. Alright, forget it, forget it. Press this. Now you press recent. Here, you see this? That says voicemail. Press that. Tom sent you a voicemail. Like, Froy, whoever the hell Froy is. This phone number, Tom again. This is Tom sent you a lot of voicemails. And see, and you go like this. Okay. And then you go recent. This is voicemail. So if you want to hear of time, you push it. Here, then you press speaker. But who was the person that just called me last? I just showed you. Recent, no, listen to me. Recent, you got to read, man. It says recent. That's not my reading glasses. This person, Hudson, New York, 518. And Brewster, then it's crap. Don't worry about it, but you got voicemails. So now you know how to check your voicemails and your calls. Text message, your calls. Okay, thank you. It's what they say, it's what they say, self-explanatory. Eileen? It's a solicitation. Eileen, you blind me. You're trying to learn or something? It's all lie. Everything you just said, it won't work. See, it's doing it again. My phone, right? Yeah. Some guy named Tom since there are an awful lot of voice messages. Grace, Grace, you were there. I remember it's a live phone and it doesn't even picture it. That's not my reading. We're telling them that's how to stop. Does Ray have an alias named Tom? Is that really Ray that's sending your voice messages? Who's Tom? Ray. Then your brother's a nag because he's sending you a thousand and one voice messages. You just win. Listen, you better study your user manual. Knucklehead. She is a bona fide knucklehead. I've met Knucklehead's numb skulls in my day, but she takes the cake. What? Oh, what am I doing? Now I can't get another coffee. I want you to crush it. See what that... Here, you can. Take that. Hold on. No, I fixed it. I just can't believe her insanity. Then I ended up crushing it. That's when you have a crush on somebody. You're funny. Oh. These two are my couples. Yeah, right. Are you going to get stuff? You know what? Let me get a little more coffee. Joe, has Joe been cooperating with you? He's a pain in the ass. He throws things up to your face, right? No, because I throw them back in his face. He doesn't know which one. He doesn't have a clue what's going on. What's the word from Jackie? Anything good? She's told everything about you. You're a rizzy. Does she have a clue about anything going on? No, he's another dysfunctional person there. I'm sure he's your chronic liar. Oh, Jesus. What is going on with our society? I've been telling you all for years. It's getting worse and worse, Billy. I've been telling you all that for years, too. Speaking of devil, speaking of worse and worse. Oh, God. You know what? I think I'm going to see if my favorite bottle of bourbon came in before I go home. Who likes water? It's called Heaven Hill. It's only like 10 or 12 dollars a bottle. Thanks for showing me. Showing you my favorite bourbon? Heaven? Oh. I'm telling you he's lying. Are you going to... It's not going to work. Are you going to retain what I showed you? I will. No, you won't. Excuse me while I get coffee. I'm just that, too. This is why you two deserve each other. You know how you can help your stress? First of all, tell the truth all the time. Second of all, throw out the junk. That's your free therapy. You don't have to go to a social worker. This guy can help you. Put your phone in. Your phone went off. Your brother is trying to get a hold of you. I think you better call. Get the coffee. It'll be time to leave. Keep calling. Keep calling. It's not going to work. I'm not going to leave. Here at this closed center, with everything else going on. I never heard the phone. I never hear it. She remembered what I showed her. Good for you. I wonder what you can touch in Colorado. If you don't recognize it, don't worry about it. Is it the Hudson's Colorado? You recognize that number? It's the Hudson's... Yes. Do you recognize that number? Do you recognize that it's a scammer or whatever? How do I get back to the screen? Press the button. Press it. Check your text. Scroll. Move your... Hit the text button. Hit the text thing. Hit it. Hit it. Now go out. Now read it. And go like this with your fingers. So you make it go up. Make it go down. And then you can want to go back to the main screen. Hit the big button again. So I'm learning you. You never leave me alone. I sit in my suitcases. Why is your brother nagging so much? Is he sensitive? No. Tom Tom is your brother. Tom Tom. Tom Tom? Yeah, like the March of the Wooden Soldiers. Tom Tom. He's trying to get a hold of you. You better call him. I got a long way to get a refill of coffee. Nobody in the front. Oh boy. Who lied to you about the phone? Nah, because she remembered what I told her. She's doing it. She's making it happen. I can give you up this stupid code. Its going to backfire. You watch. No, it's I'm giving you, I'm giving you the right information. No, he is going to尽 ... No, he's gonna explode. backfire. You did his program. The phone is going to shut down electronically in a matter of hours. No, it's going to explode like Mission Impossible. Remember the self destruct tape? Now you got that theme song on my head. No we didn't. You did. You saw it. You wrote it. Talk to Eileen. Eileen, talk to Jimmy. Talk to Jimmy. Nobody's here, George. All right, let me go. Let me go get it now. Well now, well you can. Guess what? The line moved over here. I already thought we just couldn't stop. I thought we just couldn't stop. We just couldn't stop. You couldn't see the line because I'm behind the wall. That was actually funny. There's nobody there. There is nobody there. There is a cashier. Over there. Nobody knows. Over there. There is a cashier. What are you doing? No, because I know that was actually funny. Basically there's nobody there because the cash register is open over there. Can't make this stuff up. Except what you told her about the phone. It's a lie, Eileen. Wait a minute. Is that an iPhone like mine? That's why I recognize everything on it. Why you're screwed. Why you're screwed. You know who liked my post on Twitter? Oh. Leonardo DiCaprio. Eileen, I got a humongous following on Twitter. Humongous. But all my political words of wisdom and everything I say. I do. I'm telling the truth. What do you think on her? Yes. You do not. Listen, when did I ever tell fibs to you? Jimmy. Come on. No, no, no. I got a following. No, you don't. I do. No, you don't. Well, I'm on Twitter every day. I know, but nobody cares. No. I got a following. This one's following me. That one's following me. I got a following, man. A huge following. What do you want to call it? A huge following? Huge. Listen, my words of wisdom blow the universe apart. My friends, you mean to not have a huge following on Twitter? That's because the spirit that moves that likes Billy. And doesn't like nobody else. That's why it's saying no. I really do have a following. Because Jimmy really have a following. Yeah, that's why if I take a print screen and bring it in, it'll approve it. A burp. What was that? A burp. That was a burp. It sounded like a truck. I heard hot dogs say they give a lot of indigestion. Oh, Jesus. Don't tell me. That means you got a stinky burp. Listen, don't mention your diary until you're alone with Jimmy, okay? No, along with Ray maybe, not me. Well, maybe you have three, some U.N. Ray. You'd like that, huh? Then the asteroid should hit the planet Earth if that was the case. Because that kind of desperation is... You know, he's coming for parameters. How long does that take? Right, he called 15 minutes ago. Come on, man. There's all these bolts. I hope he doesn't have you... I don't have... I hope he doesn't have you sitting here. I don't care. I'll go back over there. I'll just say I left over here at the hotel. I lean in all reality. My following is growing by leaps and bounds every day. Don't pay attention to this guy in the amulet. No, it really is. For real. For real. He just wants to have the big following over... I don't want any following. All the people that bother me. You're like my brother-in-law. He wants to live a low-profile life. Well, then you said, I want to be now. I want a low-profile life. All right, now I... I said, that's your problem. No, you just justified the reason why... You went from one to the other. Because you told me that you don't want to be bothered. I don't. And you said he really wants to have a big following. I said, no, I don't want to be bothered. Then you changed it and he doesn't want to be bothered. Well, I was thinking of Andrew Anderson when you said that. You know, Andrew Anderson, you know... That's the only reason. Tom Saltano and his family didn't see you back then. Because there was nobody watching. I wonder what he's up to. I wonder where he is. Pat got your tongue? You can't talk without us carrying the conversation? I'm just quiet today. You are, huh? Why? Look, think out loud. What are you thinking about? Just upset about something, but I rather not talk about it. Why? It's too depressing. Were you standing naked in front of the mirror at home and that upset you? No, just something I'd rather not talk about. Oh. Well, you want to rather I wasn't here so you can tell Jimmy, I guess. No. Well, who would be able to solve this dilemma of yours, this problem? Nobody. Nobody. Oh, come on. Everything has to come on. You got to tell somebody about it. I discussed it with my brother already. But you just said nobody. Now it's your brother. Your brother's getting on your back about things? No. I discussed the problem with him and he told me how they stay. You know what gets me is you say your brother and you listen to that and it's not and up to many months ago you accused him of going into your apartment stealing your money. Did she hear what she just said? She discussed something that was important to her with him and he... But you didn't trust him. He was stealing your money, supposedly. He blew her off. Yeah, but he listened to my problem. But he just said he blew you off. Jimmy just said your brother blew you off. Oh, wait a minute. He... How could he listen to your problems if you just said... He says have a nice day, Eileen. He listened to my problems and then he said have a nice day. Of course he listened to it. He was sitting there, right? But he didn't... On the phone he listened to it. But he don't care. What can he say? He's got nothing to say. He can't... He can't help me about it, you know? But there's insurance this guy months ago and you said... All right. And you said he was stealing your money just a few months ago. But please don't get me upset. We're not. But you know... So he doesn't have an opinion is what you're saying. He doesn't want to give his... He stays without giving... So this is a guy you can trust to tell things to then if he doesn't give you a... You might as well have breakfast with a ventriloquist dummy. Or a mannequin. If he's not going to offer you some advice what is it? Jay, that's some brother. That's not true. Not all adults can do things on their own. Which means he don't give a shit. Which means he don't give a shit. You don't care about it. Obviously he doesn't... His brother gives her any good advice. What are you gonna say? He probably doesn't give you any. Is Arlene's brother more or less just brush her off? Yeah. That's how it goes. Is Arlene's brother a good brother to her? That's right. Here we go. There's Rosie. To be honest with you it sounds like he's a selfish individual. He is, everybody says. So what's the point in having a... This proves that friends can be closer, much closer than relatives. That's what even my friend said. Just because you're blood related that doesn't guarantee anything. That doesn't mean anything if you're blood related. Sometimes it means... Shit sometimes. Don't say I said it but... No, no, no. You know that stupid saying about blood being thicketed in water and all that crap. No, it's not. What is going on over there? Doesn't this franchise owner... He's got 49 franchises besides this one I heard. He doesn't even hire enough people? Save money? No, it's called greed. Look how long I'm waiting. Now that's proof that there's nobody back there. Several people. There's only one person. There's only the only person working the front end. Just a badge. Right there. Put it here. Don't believe this character. I really do have a big following on the internet. On Facebook, Twitter and YouTube. He's full of shit. And the amulet is also full of shit. Believe me. When I tell you. It's all right about me and Ray. There's nothing going on with me, Ray. Yeah, I know, I know. Oh, boy. Yeah, I know. Well, for you, yeah. You need those copper... Yeah, I'm gonna go for those tomorrow. Breast farve. Listen, when you get back in the apartment, can you give me back my sweater, alright? I'm gonna need it. I'm gonna need it. Okay, let me see if I can get coffee now. Now you will find out, Arlene. The amulet does not lie. It only exists in the honest answer. It's not about me and Ray. There's nothing going on with me and Ray. Of course, when I swear to die. Yeah, you're too well. If you haven't gone to heaven, you'll find out, though. Oh, Jesus. Oh, hi. Everybody finds out everything to you. Who said that? Let me see if it's about you and I, Ray. Is there... Down here are two friends of McDonald's. Ray and Arlene. Is there anything going on between Arlene and Ray? Yes. Have Jimmy do it and see what it says. Well, Jimmy has different energy. His energy's not good, it says. No, no, it's just your spirit likes you and doesn't like anybody else. Jimmy says, you like my spirit but don't like anybody else. Is that true? What's it gonna say? Will you tell me? Oh, God. Does Jimmy make a lot of false statements? Until I take a polygraph. What? Polygraph test. Lie detector. Has nothing to do with Paris, by the way. Poly, polygraph. It doesn't lie, Arlene. Hey, I bet you could... At Gabriel's at the bar, I bet you could hook up with a lot of chicks in there and bang them in your room. I've got a clear conscience so you don't bother me that thing could swing for a million years and I wouldn't care. It could swing until everybody died and I wouldn't care. You do care because you're afraid of it. I'm not afraid that it's... I know it's lying about me so I don't care. It's not lying about you. I know it is. No, it's not. I'll give a million dollars this time. Well, we're gonna get a million dollars. What? Where are you going to get a million dollars? If someone had a million dollars, I would give it. Go give away their money. Give it to me, I would give it away. A million is not enough nowadays. You need at least a hundred million. I'm here at McDonald's with our friend Arlene. Is she afraid of you? It's saying that you're afraid of the amulet. Yes, you are too, stop it. Come on, Arlene. You are and you know it. I'm only afraid of the devil. No, but then he'll attack you more. You better keep that. That's if you really got a blast. She didn't get a blast. When you were asleep, you know what I mean, Jellybean? She didn't get a blast. Now if you're in a sofa, is it a cloth sofa or a leather? It's leather. Then don't use the safety pin. Use a piece of packing tape or duct tape. That's if you got a blast. She didn't get a blast. Is the holy water, you have real holy water? Yeah, it comes from church, somebody gave it to me. Somebody gave it to you? Yeah. How do you know that they're... That's what I'm saying, you've had it analyzed? She's a lady, she's a lady that runs the religious church. She runs it? Yeah. Don't trust anybody. Get it yourself. Yeah, and the Catholic priests never molest anybody. Oh, whiskey, where are you? Yeah, so Catholic priests, all they practice is homosexuality, Arlene, okay? Why are the religions doing this to you? Listen, listen. Only the Catholic religion. The church in my town has a fountain made of marble, and it's full of holy water. Go in, bring a bottle, and fill it yourself. Don't believe others. Don't either. Well, why should she believe your church? You don't know that's holy water. Well, supposedly it's blessed. So that says who? Well, when the priest throws it on a possessed person, it burns them. It sizzles like acid. They have it on video. Oh, please, they're acting. You mean like a TV evangelist? Where is it what church is this? No, when the Catholic church sends a priest to do an exorcism, they have taken videos of it. But I wonder if an exorcism has anything to do with religion. Well, they claim it's demonic possession. Yeah, but does that have anything to do with religion? It may not. It may not. It may be it's extraterrestrial. Bathroom again? Where are you going? How come she only gets water when she comes here? You ever know what I'm saying? Do exorcisms have anything to do with religion? Hmm, interesting. See my point, what I was making? Yeah, that was a very good question. People say, well, that's not necessary religion. No, it could be another entity. That's right. Interdimensional travel. Like I said, it doesn't mean it's religion. No. That's why it's a clever debate. It could be interdimensional travel. I analyze things and just see them debate and get to the point and get out of it. It's a tough question. Extra. Does that have anything to do with religion? No, I don't know. Extraterrestrial. Maybe that. Maybe not. I would have assumed you'd be on a dock and be the oldest alien race there is. Well, they did substantiate that there is an energy force that leaves our body when we die. Mm-hmm. Doesn't mean it's religious, does it? No. It could be the essence of what makes us who we are. Well, there is no such thing as an affliction. I told you. I was reading a bunch of articles from Science Magazine, Science Channel, Science Magazine. We are accelerating, advancing at a rapid rate. Mm-hmm. And what do you think? I think we're getting help. I told you that for how many years. I told you what you're using. You're an alien technology, bro. There's a term they use, reverse engineering. No, that's just a term. But the bottom line is the bottom line is we're getting help from the Anunnaki. A born of Ambron? Nikola Tesla? I told you what Ambron said. He pointed in the corner. All the time. All our technology has no advantages. It doesn't matter. Awesome. You can always get help from the Anunnaki primarily. How quickly it gets answered, see? That was a big swing. That's right. Very quick swing, too, right into it. Okay. There she is. Where am I going to have the devil? Well, five minutes till she goes to the bathroom today. What, are you up all night long, then? You must go to the bathroom all night. Yeah, I can't move my bladder. They said to take medicine for a bit. You can't hold your bladder. You mean you take your bladder out of your body and you physically hold it? Be more specific, Eileen. I mean, your urine. You have trouble holding, retaining your urine when your bladder is full. You know what? Not now. I don't need it because I have plenty of everything at home. The only thing I don't have is hot liquor, which I think I'm going to probably need. Right. Oh, shit. It's getting, it's getting chilly. Well, this, this manager is good. She turns it up. Isn't it funny when Daisy's here? I'd rather be cold. Well, of course, because then you, you can always add. It's going to be hot this weekend, too. People are going to get sick. In the edges, right? What temperature is it now, do we? I'm sorry? What temperature is it now? What time do- What temperature is it now? What am I, uh... I'll look on my cell phone. Look on your phone. Don't you have a weather, a weather app? Look on my cell phone, I say. Yeah, I should have a weather app. Someone called on Monday, 845-93152. Hit that. Now, hit where the fine scroll. Here we go. There we go. Press that. 74 degrees. Right. Now, see the rest of the week? Can I hit go like this? It says you're really here. That's the easiest. Or maybe go sideways. If it wasn't for me showing her this shirt, she wouldn't even know... See, you got an education today for your phone. You better find that manual, by the way. You have a bookshelf at home? Forget it. I was going to say put the manual in your bookshelf, but if you don't have a bookshelf... You have an important dresser drawer. Then put it in there. Nice. That's a good idea. More water. Man, you drink more water than a camel at an oasis. You sure you weren't a camel in your last lifetime? I'm trying to remember what I need to pick up. I need to pick up something before I go home, and I honestly can't remember. Food for your mother or what? For my mother, no. They have one person at the register, huh? This is real smart. Real smart. God, look at this. It doesn't even move. Oh, you know what I'm going to try with my ramen noodles? I get straight ramen, organic ramen noodles. I got a candidate at Y River Crab Soup, like the one you have in your apartment. I got two cans of oysters, shucked oysters from Maryland. I'm going to combine them all, and I'm going to try it with the noodles and see how it is. Shucked oysters in the can? Are they good? In the can. Yes, yes, they are. Do you like oysters? Do you like oysters? Yeah, they're good. If I ever had them, I'm not sure if I had them. Did you ever have mountain oysters? Goats balls? What? Goats balls. Rocky mountain oysters. Mountain oysters are goat's balls. They're goat's balls? Goats balls. Goats balls? Goats. I was watching a western, and they mentioned Rocky mountain oysters on Netflix. I've been watching a lot of great westerns. I've played that Henry rifle. You watch a lot of TV, do you think? No, only late at night. Only late at night. It helps with insomnia. Well, it's actually sex is much better than a movie but How would you know? You're an amusing little brat. And hands don't count, okay? You're an amusing rascal. He's a very... He's a very whimsical guy. He's a very whimsical guy. He's thanks to monkey. He's choked a chicken. He's very whimsical this William Morrow. Whimsical. not a funny name that is a word rather funny word cohoose is a funny word too hey you use your college education you know what that meant flog the dolphin flog like whip what about the dolphin spank the monkey waxing the bishop yeah waxing waxing these are all the things these are all the things you do to ray with ray you know waxing waxing waxing the bishop oh ray you hunt the hunk of burning love waxing the bishop well the bishop on a chess set does look the bishop doesn't bother looking you know sir yeah because you're like an interest you want you want them all for yourself i'm not going over to her oh okay well you're not could go bother looking you don't say i know you i know i know you ain't going to go over her because you you're smooth i've had her eating out of my hand and you're smooth that's part of smoothness told you about the two sisters i met the one of the professional photographer fetishes no she's does she want to photograph your junk in your hotel room no they're very nice very friendly very pretty both of them they were dutch oh yeah they're don't they never stick their hands in their pocket if you go on a day with them if they're dutch they're very tight with them they're very tight with the dollar she didn't recognize you oh that was a cute dolphin who are you yeah who are you i mean well that's if it is today's wednesday right that's if it is uh maniacal wednesday madness between this and what we were talking about donald trump what he said yesterday it's perfect together perfect together this has been a mega live 21 production