 You are so beautiful to me Joe Cocker. What? Can't you see? You're next, you idiots. I'm Corbin for this episode on Patreon, exclusive content on there, blocked content Everything on there is up there before it's on YouTube. So if you see a comment from two days ago, it's because they're from Patreon Yep, but today We're doing the Brown Girls Guide to Beauty and the Brown Girls Guide to Gender in the last one Which you didn't see. I did not. So you don't have any idea what's going on. So we're not gonna say anything because it took us by surprise. Yes, we'll say that much. It's poetry Yeah, we knew that. We knew it was poetry, but what we didn't know is And there were some comments by some very ignorant people in the last one I will block you and delete your comments. Just so you know. Yeah, let's go. Yeah, yeah, but we'll talk about that after Oh, wait. Oh, what happened? Oh, no. What did you do? Oh, it's coming. Here we go. It's fine. Oh, we're fine Since the age of nine, I've been slapping my face with fairness creams and the face wash was a slap in the face Because I was a skin tone which was ugly. My chest was too small for a girl who was sick be birdy And my skinny waist and unhealthy thigh gap was the only thing I woke confidently around I had a voice and opinion, but we muted my sound probably because I was told Boys only like girls who are fat and lovely My cousin brought the style for himself because skinny abs were easier to obtain on a healthy diet He had about acne during juice diets and decided he wanted to try it All because there wasn't a single GQ or man's war. They didn't have abs and boss We forget that beauty for men also comes with the cost I have asked for a penny for your thoughts, but I heard being healthy is wealthy and it's both we've lost I'm the color of the strong pregnancy Auntie Sips are non-santi remarking Bipasha would be prettier if she was fair The color of her skin dictates our beauty and that's not the only thing that's unfair when we brown girls devote Against our own deflections every single time an Indian magazine puts a light-skinned girl in a cover calling her brown I asked my mother to get me healthy yellow paste over yellow paste because anything is better than brown Anything is better than dark only light skin with european features are considered odd My friend spaces cover with cream more than his girlfriend's kisses He flinches every time she says she accepts him for his two colors How do I teach him to embrace the color of his skin which he keeps gifting him fairness creams His daily baptism with sunscreen to protect him from sun tans Men lathering themselves to the same behind closed doors because apparently being insecure makes you less of a man When I was asked to be an ideal body type, I was taught they want the curvy cheekbone or the cellulite They want the big butt but they want the thick thighs They want the top small but the waist smaller They want the heart big but the chest bigger And often women of gender reiterate these thoughts, but you see it's internalized. It's what we've been taught So I asked my mom instead of looking for grooms who are fair let's look for grooms who take people fairly Because the color of someone's skin is what we should consider when we look to marry Wurju's belief for penal decisions scale large when he stands on a fairness scale forgets no white say hello to chocolate brown and write my own fairy tale There isn't a single person who is pulled apart by these expectations Brown girls talking getting the right foundation Boys considering weight calculations with all more than our coloration and body types because you and I were all alike With the hope of being able to someday love another let's begin by being our own first lovers Because people aren't made to fit or custom made. It's time. We realize love comes in our shapes and shades It's time. We loved all shapes and shades Longest poem you've ever heard explaining every little thing Right, it's still like I know that this is a thing in India and in other places where it's wanting to be lighter skinned and it's so funny Because in america a lot of like fair skinned girls want to be tan like that's all they want to do And so they get fake tans. They do all they want to have that Golden look they go they go to tanning booths Yeah, they do everything that they can to be tan and since expectation that you're prettier when you're tanner So it's so it's so different It's true. It's it's it's the complete opposite, but it's the exact same And it's so crazy Yeah, and like those other issues they talked about with the the weight and the waist and the boobs and the That was spot on everything she said about that. It's kind of universal Yeah for the body type You want the thing about the no-cellulite you want skinny thighs. It's like For all women around the world. Yeah, then obviously men as well in there that she she threw in there. Yeah She was saying for the abs. Yeah, what she was saying. Yeah, um, but it's nowhere nearly as ingrained in In men as it is for it's just ingrained different. Yeah, it's ingrained between masculine and like for me for I remember when I was growing up because and I think this has been this way for guys mostly, you know for a long time, but like I so looked up to Sylvester Stallone He was the he was the reason I started with weights I wanted and because he and I were were the exact same height And we were very similar physique So there was almost this familial connection with sly. Um, but the great thing about sly was that he never Because I followed him so closely. He's never talked about that as The exterior wasn't what was important. Yeah, it's it's it's it's living like it's being healthy It's it's being holistic and healthy and he asked him He actually wasn't very healthy when he was doing some of the things he did like during rocky three But that's beside the point the the The self-esteem Yeah, I I reached a place where I realized and it was really hard I realized my self-esteem Was too linked to lifting weights. Yeah, and I actually for a time Stopped I still exercised for health But I stopped and I I remember sharing this with some guys that I was friends with and said I have made Muscle building and still owns physique too central to my identity And I remember crying and saying I was scared because I felt like if I didn't have muscles I would be looked at differently. I wouldn't be seen as strong of a man I wouldn't feel like I was a strong of a man and it's still it's still there and like when I'm at the gym I've said this before and it gets me emotional But when I see people that are there that are incredibly out of shape If they only knew how much the people in shape Respect them admire them And you don't want to go over and say that to them because you feel like that's just such a wrong thing to do But you know how hard it is for especially somebody who can't help their body Yeah, maybe they've got something going on with their their hormones or they've got something going on with There some people just genetically are big Yeah, it's I think all shapes and sizes comes across and all and you can't ever be perfect No one's perfect too muscular and this is for girls too Like you're either way too skinny and you need to eat if you have weight on you That's not muscled in your fat and then if you're super muscular, you're like a boy So it's just like you can't ever you're not thin enough You're not big enough. Yeah strong enough your teeth would it and it's so sad because There some people will have their ideas of perfect But for someone else that perfection is oh, no, you're too skinny. Oh, no, you're too fat Oh, no, it's too that so it's just this expectation pun on everybody that no one's ever okay With other people or themselves The the thing that needs to change it Is not just each person. I mean it has to start there. Yeah, but the biggest problems with this are media entertainment Yep in propagating the lies that This is what this is what this is what beauty is subconsciously unconsciously like even the specific people Luckily it's changing Actors and models They won't do photo shoots if it's ever Gonna be photoshopped. They're doing less to make them Yeah, but you gotta be able to see You can't that's a very slim margin. Yeah, because those are the only the people with the power to say Hey, vogue, I'll do your cover, but we're doing a mile Most people will say yeah, no Yeah, and they don't have an option Technically like we could go out for a modeling job and we wouldn't have that power No tell them anything they do whatever they want. We sign a contract and they kind of do what they want, right? And they make us look completely different than we actually are Exactly, so it's only the people at the top who it's it's important for them to take a stand Uh and do the right thing, but it's sad how long it's taking. I had someone message me on instagram about their skin color because of the video we had done about that and And how like she was saying but in the video the kinds of things that has to be dealt with and Family members saying you're too brown. You know, having your mom say to you Yeah, having people say that You're too bright. You'll never marry that kind of guy. You're too brown family members and stuff And I actually do that here too. Oh, they do but I had here's the thing I had to say to them something that was said long time ago Somebody once said Don't judge people by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character And that was Martin Luther King jr. Doing the civil rights moment of the 1960s who He had the balls to say that and he was shot and killed And now we're still having to say that to people, you know, it's still a problem We're stuck. We've come a long way. Yeah, but we got a long way to go And a lot of issues Small steps In the right direction this this girl. She's a fantastic fantastic. I don't know if she does anything else if she's like an actress Or or what she is, but you know, you know what I like best about her I don't know. She's just a poet what I like best about her poetry Aside from the poetic nature where she links from things together powerfully with English language. Yeah She's able to present the problem without going on some kind of a tangent That seems like she's trying to convince you or even more She's trying to convince you but what I don't get from her is that she's got this real axe to grind And she's gonna go she's gonna go get revenge on the people that treated her badly Some people do that with their art. That's very true. And she she doesn't do that. She's just expressing it She is just talking passionately. Yes. It needs to change like Martin Luther King would he had no bone to pick with anybody But he was gonna stand with the line your bad your bad your bad You can beat me Yeah, but still people that they think that anybody talking about a problem that they don't see as a problem They think they're just playing the victim. I know which is comments. We got in the last one I'm sure we'll get comments on this one and you'll be blocked. Don't worry. Yeah, I'll do that for you. Yeah But uh, but yeah the So everybody wherever you are around the world, there's people like that They don't they don't want to deal with the issue. So they think you're just complaining Right, and that's part of the problem. Yeah, right those people. They don't want to acknowledge that there's these issues You have to acknowledge it. It's just ignoring it. It's not right ignoring. It's way easier. Right anytime There'll be people there will be people in every country in the world who just because a woman Stands up for herself whatever the case may be not about being a woman. It could be for any reason for anything They will say a more feminist crap. Yep It could be for something that's specifically for men and they will still say that's a feminist thing. Yeah, it doesn't matter Okay, that's the problem. And I don't know how to fix that. Yeah, I don't need it Definitely any sense. I think the gene pool needs some chlorine We need another plague Corbin would say that