 the Grashier, Sigrasha, with an S-H-A, Sigrasha, but my county people who use C instead of S-H, but that, it's Grashier, yes. Gosh, I'm very good, thank you so very many. Yes, you can interact with us at WhitePiphoneFacebook, WhitePiphoneChannel on X, WhitePiphoneUnderscoreChannel on the gram myself. My name is Valentine, or at ColonyVal, and yes, the season is coming, but Mr. Quinn bear your song. Yeah, I will not sing for you, I will not give you pressure. If you want a Valentine, if you don't want a Valentine, you can say it's either way, it's Ashwin's Day. Eh? When you go to Chakribunakannis on a post, yes, and you continue with your life. Meanwhile, we'll just enter the tail end of the conversation or the show, and we have a question we are asking on socials, that's why I'm imploring you to interact with us, but before we get to your comments, I would really appreciate these beautiful ladies on set with me introducing themselves. Hi, good morning. Good morning, my name is Ongiasana. I'll tell you a secret, guys. I would like to show you that I'm at home, and that I'm at home. Like, for a good two hours, it's up to me what it's meant to be. Not every day, but most of the time. What's your good day? My name is Caroline Gawar. I am an ascent lawyer, and I'm happy to be here. I hope you're going to have an interactive session together and you're going to have something educative today. So tune in and join us. You're very articulate, I like it. And you are? Okay, my name is Ruth Mihaki. I'm a journalism student, to be specific, media as a whole. I'm a media student at KC University, currently in my third year. I'm a sister, I'm a daughter, I'm a cousin. I can be a mother, most of all. Because I have a young sibling, I have young cousins, I can be a mother. Also, I am just happy to be here, most of all, I'm a woman, I love women, not in that way, yes. Yeah, so I just love being here, yeah. What's your social media handle? My social media handle is at Instagram, it's at Mihaki underscore Ruth underscore. Yeah, Instagram is enough. You go TikTok, you go to Sambuwa, you go to Wango, but it will take a lot of time, it's fine. And you are on social media? On social media, I go to TikTok at D006 Facebook, Kerala in Saraga and on Instagram, Kaledi006. Okay, now the first order of business, my people, is we're going to ask this particular question. And I'm really, really glad you brought that up. My first question is, what is the problem when you are in a relationship, you need someone to take care of you, you need someone to help you, you need someone to be beautiful, you need someone to take care of you, why, what's the problem? What's going on? When did it become a crime to just, you know, compliment your fellow lady? Like, come on, it's a crime, it's a crime. If I don't tell you, if I tell you, it won't change anything. So what's the problem? So what's the problem? Our community, our current community feels like we are embodying westernization to an extent that we are not giving thought to our morals, our African morals. So what's the problem? How does that affect my morals and who I choose to? The anti-gay people feel like we are supporting LGBTQs. Just because we are supporting LGBTQs. Sometimes we fight for other people who overthink. So today, even when a man, a man of God is introducing himself in church, he's saying, I am married. He has to say, I am married to a female lady. One wife. One wife, one female wife. And we're like, oh, okay, so you have to say female, why? So your wife is a female? Yes. For the LGBTQ that is currently trending? You don't just say it and leave it at that? No, no, no. Let's not cut corners. Let's just maintain a direction to make war. Because I think it's very confusing for me. The society, first of all, was trying to happen to me. Basically, that's how we've been raised, knowing, like women are their own worst enemies. And I put that in very heavy quotes because I do not believe it's true. I think it's just the narrative that's being forced fed into us. All right, who are you? Honestly. Come turn a couple and a couple. Hey! And I'm like, okay. There are people who are judgmental always. They'll always be there. They've always been there. So it's a issue. Me personally, if you look good, I'll just say you look good. I don't care if you'll judge me. I don't care if you'll say LGBTQ. I mean, it's 2024 and everyone wants you to identify as something. So it's a free world, honestly. So up on the trends at an identity crisis, we don't really... We're fighting something in society. We're trying to find our place, who we are, how we identify. By let me tell you when... Let me say it with Instagram because that's where I've seen it the most. I don't know if it's the first last man to say, she, her. See, I'm like two pictures. See, Instagram is a picture. See, I'm like two pictures. I'm like a caption. But I'm not like that. Why do I have to add things over there? Do you feel like the society is racing for labels? Before we go to the label, there's a comment you've seen that about women being enemies of themselves. Something. Allegedly. Thank you for using the word allegedly. However, I think what's trending currently tells us that we really are women. We are enemies of ourselves. Why do you say that? Because there is a case in court that a certain lady caused driver's hum on a failed lady because of the... Coping hairstyle. Yes. Now that got me wondering, why would we be doing that? Shouldn't you be complimenting your lady? Oh, I did notice you have the same hairstyle. You look beautiful. I think I look beautiful too. And it's good that we both look beautiful with the same hairstyle. You're doing what she did. But it also calls us ladies to actually come together in unison that you have to be your own sister's keeper. Let's not now talk to the brother's keeper. The Bible puts it, but we have to be our own sister's keeper. That is why when community brings labels on us, we have to stand together that if you disagree with this and this other person agrees with it, how about we weigh the options? Let us look at the pros and the cons and come to understand which side is best for us. Yes. How are you feeling about that particular story? I will just brief the audience. If you've not heard the story, apparently when I came to the planning, she had what? Wakaumta, yes? Setting is a metta. Ah, yeah. So baby girl had a particular hairstyle. I think she had dyed a particular color. Yeah, she had dyed a particular color. So this altercation happened outside because now the scenes that occurred after is Alienda, Akachukwa Street, we were late, we were late, I was with my auntie and I was with my wife, she was with me before dislocating Joe. So that was me, I was sitting in the middle of the street and I want to ask you maybe if I can twist the question a little bit. Do you feel like mental health, there is no such thing as mental health. Like why are you so angry as a person? That's why it's a couple of times. Like why are you so angry? Okay, up with the mental health, I don't think it exists, I think it's just jealousy. Because at some point, back to the story, it started with our celebrities, Shakil, I don't know if it's Shakil and Virasi Dika, they had like the same hairstyle, red wig. So they were blushing, okay, they were just, we called it to Karnana. Online. Online, so at least they didn't fight. Yeah, they were just abusing each other, trying tantrums, like you copied my hairstyle and all. Now when it comes to the local people, I don't know if it's mental honestly, because Nuiwu, she really copied me. So the anger comes up. Can it really be a mental issue? Yeah, I think it's just jealousy. What I'm thinking about is that we have the same hair color. Like you are the same person. We have the same skin tone, I'm annoyed. Like, I don't know if she died because you could have died any other color. Probably she says it's personal. It's personal, it's something. So maybe it's a mental issue. I don't know if it's because of the anger. Probably, I can say that for sure. That we're just speculating, but even if it's not about the man who was in the situation, it could also be that this lady, maybe she had just had a bad day and she was looking for a place to take care of her. There's having a bad day and then there's Kuchomamt and aftermoto. So mental health is true. But I'm sure they culturally determine whether she's okay with what she said. Of her right mind. She has to be. Mental health is not all about sanity and identity. It also comes with emotions. What are you dealing with? Do you have some struggles in you that we don't know about? There are some internal struggles that you're fighting in your own battles, in your room, and it's only your people that can count the tears you shed every night. Think every Kenyan at this point. Okay. I was watching a video and this is from a trained trauma therapist. Now, should you come on to your challenge? I am, okay, we did one. I'm a TV personality, of course. Oh, so do you need me. So now it's either different professions or whatever country you're from. I'm Kenyan, of course. I don't have Kenyan, I don't know. But then I don't know. Don't be fooled. I don't know. Anyway, so this trauma therapist said, I am from, Hey, Tawajie. Emotionally, I don't want to say unstable. I can't remember the exact words she used, but emotionally absent parents. They didn't tell you, oh, I love you. Oh, good job. Oh, it's going to be okay. Oh, don't be afraid. Oh, it's going to be okay. I still want to move, isn't it? I'm sorry, I'm from the African, the definition of an African house, so they didn't have time for all that. So one of the side effects is they don't really know how to, people, products of these particular homes don't really know how to regulate their emotions. So now that's true. I'm very happy. I'm very annoyed. And I really don't know how to either let the anger pass through me and then find a way to ground myself. Do you want to jump? I want to be able to do it. So do you feel like those are one of the avenues, truth? I know. Okay, being an African, like you said, we've all been raised in that setting. Me, Sijum, too, I'm a resident of an African home and they're like, Wako, by the way. Wango. Wako. I have met a couple who are just looking at me. They're loved when they make a mistake. They're like, don't do that again. Yeah. They're like, what's wrong with you? I'm not like that. I hear of certain schools where I have friends who are teachers in some big schools and sometimes they're like, you cannot just punish a child in school. Even raising your voice. Yes. Because the moment you raise your voice, the child is just like, what are you doing? You're losing your job. Tomorrow you'll not be having a baseline. And the next thing you know, a parent is coming to the school and you don't have a job. So it happens. There are households where you don't just raise your voice at a child. That's in the current generation. Yeah, current, current. Current generation. But back in the day, the same do-man, when she was raised in this African setting, even like, no love, no being told, come home and call son in and in me. I love you. Okay, yeah. Because school fees. Love, because school fees, love is like when you eat, when you eat, when you go to school. I drink for you, Makosa. Makosa is like when you sleep, when you're on the belt, and when you sleep. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I'm saying this because I'm coming from this such family or something, I'm saying this for you. Yeah, so that's an excuse, honestly, that you're not shown this kind of love. So in a pair, you're excused, that's why I'm like this. So that's just a lame excuse, honestly. Okay. You're about to tell me something, Carol. Ah, let's continue. I will tell it at a later time. You will tell me at a later time, okay. All right, fine. I think at least one day in a year, I don't know why it's one day in a whole year, but when you're organized, they have a meeting, when they come home, come home, and they're smart. And that's catharsis for them, and catharsis is where you feel relief after something else we can do, not really at any given time, but we do it easily, or rather easier than men. So I'll somehow begin to do it once a year. I'll laugh after that. We'll leave, Zuri, come and we'll leave, come and we'll roll, ground, we'll just remove all those pent-up emotions. Do you think we should have such an exercise? And by that, I mean, are we ready to vent in some way or another? And the people that I have interviewed, I've had the pleasure or the honor of interviewing. Wasani, they're some who are poets, they write out their emotions, they're people who are artists as in recording and performing, and that's why they let out their, for lack of a better word, emotions. I pay emotions, I don't like emotions, I'm so emotional. I don't like that mess, but it's neither here nor there. Do you imagine that some of us just don't have that platform? I do believe that. Let's track back to the Shusho concert. Ah, that is what we expected. And that is why people were a bit disappointed. And that is why most people decided to travel home rather than show up for that concert. Because we were expecting just some large field like Kuhuro Park. We just shout, scream and roll and cry and pray for our country. But that is not what happened. It didn't turn out to be that way. Because if you have attended therapy, I have, I was dealing with my grandmother's death. That's a brave enough to say. But then I realized that when you go to therapy, people handle emotions differently. There are people who, my therapist will tell me you're in denial that she's dead. Why don't you just go sit down with a diary, try to write a letter to her. I found that a little bit hard. I wanted to shout and scream and ask, why did you go without beating me goodbye? I wanted, and during the burial, everyone is like, just keep quiet, don't cry. Don't cause a scene. I want you to tell me, cry it all out. Just get it all out. Because you're going to have the post trauma if you don't deal with this right now. So I feel that is the same thing that we need to tell our people. We need to make a safe space for everyone. That you're allowed to actually just scream and shout. Even if you're in your house, just take a pillow, cover your face and scream as loud as you can. There are different ways of handling stress. And sometimes you don't just sit and listen to someone tell you about how your life should be, why are you depressed. Sometimes we just want to scream and shout and cry. Yeah, I'm gonna pick it up more just smart. Yeah, you can as well do that. Sometimes we just want to. There are people who just, they feel like alcohol can do it better for them because they can't get to be themselves. They can't get into that scenario of screaming when they are sober. You feel you're going to be embarrassed in front of your friends or people who feel like you're not manly enough while you're crying and you're a man. But then why do you have to actually get drunk for you to get out, get it all out, the stress that you're dealing with? That sounds very dangerously close to addiction where you cannot tap into something specific in your own nature and... Hey, but that explains why people cry in clubs, eh? That's why class matures. All right, okay. How are you feeling about the same? Yeah, I feel like you just have to find your comfort zone when you want to scream. Okay, some people handle it differently, some people break stuff. Okay, that is really different but you just have to find your comfort zone but if it's screaming, if it's talking to someone, if you want to just let it out by, you know, just drinking alcohol, it's your choice. But if you decide to let it all in, like it kills you from the inside, that's what eventually leads to depression, that's what eventually leads to a very long, painful life. So you just have to find your comfort zone. Like you can, most of the people, most of the people usually wait for 31st. So like people will think you're screaming for the... Happy New Year! Combe! When you're screaming, she does that cause that's why she's screaming. Maybe next year, it'll be better. So either way, you have to do it how to feel free. If you're not supposed to keep them all in cause that's even more dangerous. Yeah. All right, so I would like to believe this advice we're giving you is both for men and for many other boys and girls, ladies and gentlemen. Now, personally, I would advise you to go through emotions so far. And I'm speaking to an adult that is over 18. I'm talking to you. I really think that something should be faced so far. Feel that pain. You see, don't fight it. When you start fighting, the more you fight pain, the more aggressive, hey, to fight you. Yes. But just remember what you're doing. Again, over 18 only. Missed up advice, what you're doing is so. I'm telling you, you must do it so far. Please love yourself enough to just face it so far. Yes. All right. So I'm going to post it on Facebook. Guys, don't be so mad to V2 or what to answer. By the way, we're just laying a foundation for the conversation. The actual question is fighting femicide. Something that has been trending for lack of a better term but it's been on our news for some time. And you remember on Friday, Saturday we had a march in different counties on Friday for Nyeri only. So I'm going to talk to the youth and talk about the crime that has been committed. All right. Oh, can I define femicide first? On Monday we defined femicide during our youth fairs segment. And so, femicide, I had it in my cram. Femicide is when a girl or a woman is killed, particularly by a man because of her gender. That is what femicide is. So a lot of times, because I attended the march as a journalist, I was covering it. One of the things that I heard a couple of feminists say is we are putting femicide under the umbrella of gender-based violence, which is, yes, it's gender-based violence against women, but it's very specific to, you know, the end result is death. It's not sexual violence. Appa is a victim of normalization, not a survivor because femicide equals to death, you know? All right. By the way, when you hear feminist, what's the first thing that comes into your mind before I read your comments? Women. Ladies. Mothers, sisters, siblings, who are ladies, yes. And what do you, first thing? Feminists. Feminists. Well, these strong, beautiful women who just want to empower other women, yeah. I like your frame of mind. So I went on the ground and I met a couple of feminists, very vocal and very passionate. And I asked them, one of them is scared, and I'm not really putting an umbrella on all of you because it's not just men, but I hear it mostly from men, but I'm quite sure there are some women who think the same way. When you hear the word feminist, I'm scared too. I don't know if it's true, but it's true. And I don't know if it's true. Like, she's just angry at the world. She thinks women should be, yeah, she just, why is there on the flip side because one side of the coin, you've said something beautiful, both of you, but why is the flip side so extreme? Like, so far, I've seen a lot of feminists, I've seen a lot of them, like, I've seen a lot of them. And you say this in Kiswaili? Yeah. You two are Kijamba in public. We say in Yamba, but it's Jamba. Yeah. You two are Kijamba in public, and you point them out doing that. They don't like it. They don't like it. So that is like the feminists pointing out this is wrong, but you don't like being told this is wrong. All right, what do you feel about it? Okay, I'm going to be real. What goes on in the public, what my friends think, what most of the people think, when they hear feminists, they'll tell me when I, okay, when I, for instance, I tell my friends I want to be a feminist, they're like, okay, exactly as you put it, that these are women who are gayness men, they don't want to be submissive, they don't want to be told what to do, they don't want anything to do with men. Like you'll find some have children, but they're divorced. So they're taking this feminist thing as a cloud to reverse from their, from the normal life to make them feel better, even though most of the people feel honestly, and it's not right. To have Mokotano after this, guys. Mokotano in Guinness mat, yes. All right, so we have a couple of comments here. So do you need to answer the newest, please do interact with us on our Facebook page that is at 254-alpha-shires, so it's the morning to Murangawa represented. Again, the question is, una fanini kama the youth, and I'd like to believe that is you and me. Naga maukou youth, am shoujat, and am baali. So you are youth at heart. So a haka ma youth in Dojma Lizahik, thai mi akua mat dem. By the way, disclaimer, I feel like this is a very good time to put out this disclaimer that when we are saying categorically that, you know, don't kill women, that doesn't mean we say kill men kindly. So please, any type of violence, by the way, it's not okay. It's not okay. It's not okay. It's just that today is very specific because it is Woman Crush Wednesday. You may disclaim Bezure. Yeah, yeah. Tia. Charlie Charles says, hello, I'm Tiu, I'm 19. Count to 19. I have a question for the ladies. Sasa. So, ma'am, this is a very good question, actually. I thought it a kuja kua makasiriko, but he's asking, if we cannot be our own sister's keeper, why should we expect Manome, maybe I assume he's of the frame of mind that Manome had to do it, would want to protect us, versus Western Atuna Joanna now. Again, bringing back, full circle to the point that, oh, something that, again, society, I feel is shoving down our throats, is wastanoa pendani, and we're not our own sister's keeper. I'm only just one of the Charlie Charles. In that circumstance, I'd say that we are taking everything from a very bad angle of ladies not loving each other. We have friends. And the one thing that I believe we ladies ought to do is that we have to make our guardians our first friends. Today, in social media, when you just start scrolling on social media, there are people recording videos of the troubles they go through, instead of sharing it out with someone close to them. So, it's about us creating that safe space. You are a father in a home. How do you see your daughter relating to the mother? How do you see your wife monitoring the children, especially the ladies? How are they relating in the home state? You have to know that today, it's very difficult for me to get heartbroken and the first person I tell is my mom. It should be. Ruth is my friend. Let me just go. Ruth, I'm a heartbreak character development. I'm a more heart-quincy, so yeah. How am I going to start telling my mother that this is what has happened? Did she know that I'm in a relationship in the first place? Are we open enough to tell our mothers that I was in a relationship or our dads? So, it all begins at home. If you're able to provide a safe space as a parent, that's not just for mothers. That also goes for the man. You're a man. Do you provide a safe space for your daughter? That is how they get to trust other people out of the home state, because Ruth is not my sibling. We're not related by blood. But can I trust her? How do I get to trust somebody out of my circle? So, as we talk of women being enemies of themselves, it's not such a true thing. Just a few that we can pinpoint, but that doesn't mean that we do not love ourselves. When a woman gets the seat that everyone has been vying for, we get happy when we are getting to the ballot. We have women representatives. We still love them. So, we are not enemies of ourselves, and it's not like we do not love each other, but the love starts at home. As a parent, as a sibling, what are you doing to provide that safe space so that when we go out there, we still get that safe space? Yes. Ruth, do you, same kind of question, but I want to coin it differently. Do you feel that it is easier to talk to your family, like your relatives, relatives, am I just someone who's not as close to you? Like, I'm with my children, so I talk to them, oh, I didn't talk to them, why are you doing this? Yeah, like, is it easier just to talk to, not really strangers, but family that you've chosen? Because friends are family that you've chosen, yes? And you should be very careful who you choose as friends. True. Please. Just because you're a classmate, that makes you classmates, not friends. You can be acquaintances. Just because you're working with friends, that makes you colleagues, not friends. Friends are the family you choose. So do you feel like it's easier to talk to your friends versus your family? Do you feel like it's easier to sleep over when you're sitting on the chair? So who are you? Who is it? Yeah, because are these things not happening? Oh my God. My mom is watching this. I'm so sorry. No, it's a hypothetical situation. Oh yes, yes. I feel like it's not easy talking to family members, especially your mom. She's like, she's so judgmental. She'd be like, you mean, you went out. You know, you can't tell her everything. You can't tell her specific things. But when it's a trusted friend, you can just open up like, you know, I did this and that, this happened. So it's easier, but you can also like, just feel comfortable with another family member. If it's even your cousin for, and I really feel comfortable with my cousins, I can tell them anything that is so different from my mom. You know, you just have to edit some parts when you're telling her a story. It was a cross-line. Yeah, it was a cross-line. It was my, like, definitely. It was my, too, within your part. So like, your statement here, women, we are our own enemies. I feel like the public should just stop categorizing us or like, it's not all women. Because sure, like, you have a best friend. You have just, okay, even your colleague, like you said, okay, your colleague, but she can still be your friend. So like, you have so many friends at workplace, at home. So like, we are not necessarily our own enemy. It's just the stereotype that the society puts after, they see a particular scene. When they see this scene, women against women. So like, they just put the stereotype. It's not supposed to be like that. It's not supposed to be like that. I like that. To make it take some time on that question, thank you for being so insightful. All right. Eh, eh. Okay, Prince Max, and I'm choosing to read this intentionally, Prince Max Sophisticate says, psychos are in both genders. This awareness should be directed to government to provide facilities to hold mentally disoriented people. Why this has caught my eye. I don't know if it's because of the apple, but it's because of the money. So I'm just a little bit pointing fingers and naming names, and I do not want to do that in this particular segment. I told you a very, very sensitive topic, but I will expound on this. I am attracted to this comment because he used the word psychos. Now, we use that word and that includes me for some time in my life that I'm not sure. I want to behave and make sense. I'm psychos. I'm asking how are the genders, the genders, the neighbors, and I'm assuming these are couples. Oh, it's during the, hey, do you know psychosis is an actual disorder, guys? Do you know psychosis is an actual disorder, guys? It is an actual disorder. It's all movies and you have a straight jacket. That's psychosis. It's an actual thing. So be lenient with how you're using the word psychos. But now we've come full circle back to mental disorder. How are you feeling about this? I go first. What he states about we have psychos in both genders. The one thing that we as citizens need to know and netizens need to know is that when we're talking about gender, we're not just talking about female. When we're talking about race, we're not just talking about black Americans in the US. When we're talking about LGBTQ, we're not just talking about lesbians. The whole word is for both men and ladies. Then you have all everything in between? Yeah, and everything in between, thank you. So when he says that we have psychos in both genders, he's very correct. That the fact that during this period where we have seen many ladies killed, grisly killed, murdered, and men still question about the dress code and do some blanket shaming of the victims, that alone is a problem. And if you're a man and you're doing that, that alone is you being psychotic. It starts there. Because I do understand that if it was your sister, when I posted this sometime on my status, when people were like, my demo watcher was a liar, my demo watcher was a liar, and I'm like, oh, so if your sister was killed and you'll come, oh, so if your sister was a liar, a liar, a liar. Who can be a BNB? Who's a Roscoco? I don't think that will be the first thing you see. You'll be like, why did she go there? How come she's just dead and we just talked yesterday? And then you start blaming the person who killed her and you start posting everywhere RIP. You'll be showing that empathy. But then because this is not, you don't know where the shoe has and you're not related to these people, you just come and say that women watch your Malaya. What about the men who go visit prostitutes? I'm very sure not all lady prostitutes are visited by their fellow ladies, they're visited by men. So you can't come and tell us this that women watch your Malaya. We are actually trying to protect our community, our morals. It's not about just the ladies. It's the ladies that form the major part because we are targeted. But you cannot come and tell us women watch your Malaya. When the monstrous, the worst enemy here is that the morals we had in our community. We are harboring murderers and letting them walk scot-free and we're just comfortable with that. That shouldn't be the case. So it all begins. Who are you blaming? And are you seeing the worst enemy as murder or as a short skirt? Okay, all right. Now, let me just put a bit of flesh into what you just said there. And now, I do not know if you have anything to add. First add or subtract? Do you have anything to add or subtract from that? Yeah, just a little bit. I feel like most men are just, okay, forgive me. They're just shallow-minded, honestly. Like in the case of the Jacob student, I think it's Rita. When she went to the Ibn Bishu, she's 20, right? Yeah. So like, they're shallow-minded in their parts. They don't know how long she knew the guy. Maybe they were seeing each other for some time later, back in the day. They don't know the details. So they're not sure. I'm sure that girl was not a whole, like, the public... Puts it. Yeah, like the public puts it. I'm sure she was not like that. And because surely, we all know I'll take time for him to convince the girl. Maybe they were even seeing each other in the past. So like, they're not just supposed to judge or to ignore her. So, Adi, the Ibn B part-a-part, the Ibn B part-a-side, what about those husbands killing their wives? Are they even psychos? See, they're sane, like... So it's not even the psychobit alone. They're just sane and they're just the misogynistic way or the culture, just the stereotypes. So they just decide to discipline their wives and then it builds to that. So like, it's not even the psychobit alone. Wow, you used to be interesting. We're disciplined. We discipline children. Now, also using GPV. Wow. Okay, all right. Okay, what I'm hearing is, what I'm hearing is we need some type of awareness. And in this particular situation, what we have decided to zero on today is Femicide under the umbrella of gender-based violence. And we said we're focusing on it, A, because it is Wednesday and it's a day we crush on our queens and because we've been making quite a few rounds on both social media, the digital escape, and of course, mainstream, okay. That said, and I'm laying a foundation so that you please don't be mad. I said, categorically, this does not mean it's okay for men to be harmed in any way, from a manner because gender-based violence, did you know, is also in the constitution and it states you should be respected and you should be protected no matter what gender you are, right? Hashtag is why in the morning. Now, a couple of the placards that I saw when we were covering the event on Saturday, I'd like to keep saying Friday, Saturday, it was full circle, so while you're gonna timber around town, around Parliament Road, and then it came all the way to Givenchy where there are people who were speaking, et cetera, et cetera. But now what caught my eye was some of the placards and we had, or I saw, I got to witness people or ladies coming out and saying, yes, I am a sex worker. I've heard someone cringe a little bit because I'm a sex worker in Kiswahili. Apparently it's not palatable, but I don't feel like we should hold it as taboo because this is one of the things, we're not talking about it enough. That's why I, it's an avenue. You know, you put something in the dark long enough, eh? It's going to sprout out one way or another. I told you once you fight something anyway. So there are these sex workers that came out and one of the placards I read was sex work pays my bills. I am not condoning. I am not encouraging. I am just reporting what I saw. Okay? Don't kill the messenger. Eh! This is just due diligence I'm giving you because if I was not going to give you the whole story, what am I doing as a moderator, right? Yes, so another placard I saw and this now even now trickle down to also t-shirts is protect our daughters, but it was crossed out. And then the second message was educate your sons. Yeah, all right. How are you feeling just about those two placards I've told you about? Can I read something? Sure, yeah. This was, sometimes I get emotional and right. So this was something I wrote the time that Rita Waini was butchered. And this was it. The old age misery of the married woman are tale as timeless as gossip and as predictable as the tides, especially when, oh, there, a man is involved. Surely, in this grand opera of femininity, when the first incident occurred, every street was painted with the time was eternal, ha ha. Could it not be my instilled colleagues in armchair criminology that a woman might seek a company of a man for reasons beyond that vulgar exchange of coin for flesh? Perhaps she had laughter, intellectual discourse or the intoxicating thrill of simply existing in another's orbit. Such complexities are beyond the grasp of those who see women as marionettes, forever dancing to the strings of avarice. Oh, bless their little scandalous hearts, those maidens who dare sip forbidden cocktails and sway to music less gentle than a lullaby. How their painted smiles and carefree laughter pierce the very fabric of propriety. But fret not, dear guardians of etiquette, for while their conduct may ruffle your starched feathers I implore you, spare as lever of outrage for the truly monsters. Last one, for in this grand of stage of life where rogue replaces rosaries and laughter drowns out summons, a far darker drama unfolds, limbs are lopped off like wilted lilies and lives snuffed out faster than a dropped monocle. And yet our collective gasp seems reserved for the scandalous twirl of an ankle, not the chilling crunch of bone on bone. How curious is it not that we expand more energy, lamenting the misplaced coma in a lady's department than the gapping chasm of morality in our medist? So that mostly talks of the second placard that you state, protect our daughters crossed and educate your sons. Why are we not looking at them truly monstrous here? Because you cannot compare murderous and what? The victim, this is someone who has gone through something. And when you talk about sexual workers, that sex of working is actually paying my bills. There are people who are educated, their parents are doing that in front of them. There was a motivator back then. His name was Janet, back in, that was in Dugolo Gara's high school. And he was saying that he knew of someone who they live in a small single room and it is in that very room, the children huddle in a corner while a guest comes in so that they can have that conjugal activity so that the mother actually gets something for them on the table. So you cannot just start pointing fingers without getting to know what is the root cause of actually us getting to meet strangers. But even having a conversation on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, it's for networking. How are we not going to network then? We are having a platform for us to get to know people. We have LinkedIn, why don't we complain of that? Because we are trying to get to know this person has the same interest as I do. We want to just have a little laughter and intellectual discourse. How about that? That not every time we get to socialize on Facebook or other media platforms, media handles, it's just about we want to have sex in exchange for money. That's not it. Yes. All right, that was very deep and, wait, okay. Now unfortunately, I can see our time is trickling away. I want to end this conversation with a very simple question and I urge you to answer it as succinct as you possibly can, as short as you possibly can. And the question is this. Because to Kitokapa, we're going to talk to ladies, maybe, because there was a particular lady during, again, the march that we covered on Saturday in Shivaji Gardens. She was booed. And I'm not talking about the Honorable as the Fasari Slash is not who I'm talking about. There was another lady and I do not condone what's the reaction of the crowd. But Kiddogo Kenyali Sema was not really adding up. It's basically translated to victim shaming. So it happens when we leave this set. See now, we seem to have a very firm understanding that it's not okay to be violent to anyone. Not just women, I said, women and men. No one deserves any kind or form of violence. Like, we cannot convince each other atijuali semai dionili, no. No one, violence should not be condoned in any way, formal manner. But Kiddogo Kenyali Sema, I'm sure, if you are a woman, you can say, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch. See, she's not a woman. She's a woman. She's a woman. So how do you have a conversation in love and in respect because we said educate your sons. But what if we find someone's son and we're the ones in position to educate them? How best do we have a conversation without getting upset? How best do we have it? Please make your answer very short. One thing is for sure, honestly. If this son comes to me and they're saying, oh, this, we're just misguided, how's trying to get money in Airbnbs, once you blame the victim, you're definitely affirming the mother. So it's either you're on the victim's side or you're on the mother's side. So it's not just about the ones being killed in Airbnbs. Those being killed with their husbands, those who are found just on the road down. So it's not okay to blame the victim whatever the reason, whatever scenario, because everyone deserves to live, no one deserves to die. So you do not have a right to blame this person because they died in an honorable way. So they did not choose to die like that, honestly. So let's just work together to create this safe environment for everyone, especially for women right now because we are just scared to go out here. You have to share your live location and everything. So let's just work together to create this safe environment. By the way, squeeze it, and then you can move to another live location. Even in a fire. Even in a fire. Oh yes. Oh yes. Yes, become bad. As I allow you this particular platform, let me just echo a couple of things that I've heard you would say, and one of them is safety, where we just want to feel safe when we leave the house. I keep on the mat, I don't want to get hurt, I don't want to get hurt, I don't want to get hurt, I don't want to get hurt, I just expect to be safe in my own skin and my own surroundings. I don't want to keep looking over my shoulder. Now imagine you're in a corner, guys, you're in your own country and you're feeling unsafe now. Right. You don't know how many in the WAP. Where do you want me to go? And also, I really like that you've opened up the conversation to not just now, what is making headlines right now is these particular establishments. I'm not sure if it's because of these particular establishments and they're being condemned because their existence was very heavy, leaning on the fact that specific people wanted privacy. So I think that's the problem here. That's where you hear the CTVs, you should be put where inside, Sijuihau and whatnot and all these things, but you've opened up the conversation to married couples. You're finding women being killed there. You're finding, in Kiambo, oh, Sijuih and his ex-husband went and killed the ex-wife into the current husband. Oh, your boyfriend. It's a very, very big conversation. We're just, let me, we're in a twadji, bottlenecking it. Like it's this small to you, but it's so much bigger than what's happening right now. And if you look at the fruits and not at the roots, we're really not getting anywhere. We're really not. Last but not least, Carol, I would like to tell you this. We will not be scared. We will not be threatened. We will not bow down to in-windows, conjecture and any other form of poorly submitted opinions that meant you can talk to ladies in an appropriate manner. The gentlemen who just sent their opinions, they did it in an appropriate manner, respectful manner. In as much as there are things that you want to educate us on, kindly do that in a respectful manner. We do respect opinions that are poorly, that are well submitted, but you cannot come to us with poorly submitted opinions trying to shame us for just being ladies. So in as much as you also try to show us that you're not intellectual enough, we are also coming to educate you. But you cannot look down on us that we are ladies, we cannot do anything to you men. We are telling you that we have way more knowledge that you ought to know about. And that is something that even the government ought to do, educating the ladies and the gentlemen all together on gender-based violence and specifically, femicide, yes. All right, thank you so very much, Carol and Ruth. It's been a pleasure having you on the panel. I remember the article 21 of the Constitution of Kenya 2010, it says in part one, it is a fundamental duty of the state and every state organ to observe, respect, protect, promote, and fulfill their rights and fundamental freedoms in the Bill of Rights. Again, we categorically, from my self, categorically say that any kind of violence against any gender is not condoned and it's not right, cannot be excused kindly. Please, yes. Can we please just live in love? Bekukuna scupua by the way, my name is Valentine or at Kalamiva, thank you so very much for allowing us to host you. And by we is myself and of course, Gracia Mayenge, we have enjoyed your company. We insist not to just suggest that you stay here at Channel White by Focus. We have so much more content for you and I will see you when I see you. Have a wonderful day, bye-bye.