 listen it's the message right here black boy tell me how you really feel because i just want to build with you black girl tell me how you really feel i want to keep it real with you i want to live better eat better i want to love better sleep better yeah i want to feel so aligned why is it so hard for you to tap into your emotions are you afraid i was i was afraid i'm not as afraid anymore one of the reasons why it's hard to tap into the emotions the two parts one is not even knowing how you're feeling and if you know how to feel who's listening growing up when it we're not allowed to cry if you cry then you're manhood and we got to understand we're boys growing up and already our manhood was called into action you're not a man because you cry and we're boys so if a boy cannot be a man at a very young age when he becomes a man he does not care to communicate anymore because even when we had the opportunity to just we're never given that the one of the reasons why i'm no longer i'm not as afraid anymore to um be emotional is because i'm powerful i'm a powerful being what i create is extraordinary so i have to manifest that out it just cannot stay in there and that's why i'm not afraid to be vulnerable and i'm also very confident that if i'm being vulnerable to you and you cannot hold my vulnerability then you are not the person i need to be vulnerable to and i think i'm okay in that truth so i'm not as afraid but it's necessary to find somebody who you can be vulnerable to in an alternative universe what kind of woman would you be do i have the option of not being a woman i have to be a woman in this alternative universe i will be a woman of heart a good listener a supporter a strong supporter um it's my short answer for now what changes are black men looking for in black women the change already happened i think that's where the problem is um the change already happened it's not happening or it's not gonna happen it's happened the change of family um responsibilities the change of personal responsibilities the change of understanding where you fit into society financial changes that has already happened um so the question was what what change would i what what changes are black men looking for in black so i am not looking with the change i have right now i am not looking to go back to where it was before i don't think i like the way it was before where was it before it was um of all time literary of history of all time women have been in i'm going to use the word quote unquote for example and i'll tell you why do it the women have been freer than ever before right in terms of finances in terms of dictating even what your role is in a family or in society in general that freedom and that liberation in today's age um women have with a lot of good work achieved that but what has happened though is men are here still taking on traditional values that hasn't changed women aren't taking on traditional values this is not a conversation if it's good versus bad this is the conversation of changes that needs to be exposed and that needs to be understood that's that's where i think we're because the world moved too fast for us and we're now situations where we're fighting different battles and when it comes to understanding who we are to each other a lot of things have distracted from that um so what am i looking for i'm looking for us to understand that we have changed and what does that look like from a man's perspective and is a woman willing to listen to why those changes have taken place and how is it affecting us and for a man are we willing to open up but what are we willing to do the fundamental fundamental question is what are we willing to do in response to the changes of our counterparts aka black women okay so can you clarify a little bit about specifically like what black men are looking for in black women like what what would you like to see other than the understanding of the changes on the other hand of this tape i do want to ask a black woman what she understands of a black man what a black man is the misunderstanding comes with not obviously and i just want to be careful when i say this is not all black women is not to be generalized but if i might be in a conversation with you in front of me i would say are you listening to our plight are you listening to our essence are we are you listening to our why's why we do what we do irrespective of what you agree with it or not are you listening to it is it a situation where you cannot listen to it because a woman's point of view is more important than how a man behaves what's important why the reason why i'm not directly answering that is because for one specifically that's a conversation i'll have with that's a conversation i'm looking to have with the woman i want to get married to one day it's not like it's a exclusive or a secret thing it's just we're building something very unique to each other so when we're asking those it's how is that going to work for me and how is how am i going to work for you but i'm just taking it not so as specific as this is just taking it just a little bit higher not high level but just a little bit higher i i do want i do want black women i want black women to listen a lot to black men even as much as possible eradicating your opinion about it just listening to what he's saying and why he's saying it how do we successfully reconcile our roles in our family what a lot of people are trying to eat upon like for example our parents our parents model for example was a one bread winner and then the woman takes takes care of the job takes care of everything else at the home now we have two people who can work equally and for a lot of for a lot of conversations the women is still taking on this household or home manager responsibilities while still working i as a black man am i understanding that very clearly am i understanding the impact it has on her but at the same time from a black men's perspective what do we do if a very simple i know the answer to this but a very simple conversation is if you're going to be making money what are you going to do with your money keep it in your bank account under your bank name and then i'm taking care of the home what do we do with that information we didn't get a chance to say yo this shit is going to happen black women literally will take over this shit when it comes to education when it comes to the numbers is there but when it happens and that changes is impacting us impacting our model of family structures impacting our influence in a lot of situations now is whether we're losing it or whether it's changing it has happened and are you willing to listen to us when we say yo i love you and you're working 40 hours a week but that 40 hours is not positively impacting the family the way i wanted to what are you going to say about that because that's what a black man wants to know you've taken 40 hours of your of your week to go work somewhere else but we have a family and i have a model for how our family needs to run and it's not happening it's not a bad reason why it's not happening but it's just not happening and when did we take the opportunity to answer that question