 Kraft presents the great guilders sleeve. This company will also bring you Bing Crosby every Thursday night. Present each week at this time Harold Perry as the great guilders sleeve, written by John Whedon. We will hear from the great guilders sleeve in just a moment. You know these days, it's pretty difficult to get the variety of foods you used to get. That's why you should make the plentiful foods you can get as appetizing as possible. Now one easy economical way to make foods taste better is to use delicious parquet margarine at the table and for cooking too. First of all, of course, parquet margarine is a perfectly delicious spread for bread or toast or rolls. And next, parquet margarine is a tasty seasoning for potatoes and all hot vegetables. Parquet margarine makes cookies and pastries taste better too because it's a real flavor shortening, not bland and tasteless as some shortings are. Lastly, you'll find parquet adds tempting extra flavor to pan-fried foods. Yes, you can make everyday foods taste better when you use parquet. Remember too, it's a nourishing energy food that contains vitamin A. So ask your dealer tomorrow for wholesome, economical parquet, P-A-R-K-A-Y. Parquet margarine made by Kraft. Now let's get on to the great Gilder Sleeve who's been putting in a busy Saturday morning down at the water department trying to clear his desk of all the odds and ends that have piled up there. As we join him now, we find him almost down to the blotter and feeling pretty good about it. Action, yes, action. That's the keynote today, Ms. Fitch. And you have accomplished a great deal this morning, Ms. Gilder Sleeve. Yes, sir. Never put off the Lamarra what you can do today. I try not to. Procrastination is the thief of time. There's a letter here. Time and tide, wait for no man. This woman wrote in two weeks ago. For one of a nail, the shoe was lost, Ms. Fitch. And that's the thing, action. Mr. Gilder Sleeve, are you going to answer this woman's letter? What does she want? Action. Be sure. Well, let's see the letter. She says she wrote in two weeks ago and never got an answer. Oh, yes, I remember this. Take an answer. Very well. Dear Madam, in reply to your recent letter regarding a nail in your bathtub, we wish to thank you for calling this to our attention. Under a thorough investigation of the matter, we wish to report that it would have been impossible for the said eel to have gained access to your tub through the faucet. Because all our water is carefully filtered, and furthermore, standard plumbing fixtures are too small to accommodate an eel of the dimensions you described. We can only suggest that the creature either crawled up the drain, in which event your attorney should get in touch with the Department of Public Works, not us. Or possibly it was placed in your tub by an enemy. While that's out of our department, we'd suggest that a stopper kept in the tub at all times should prove an effective precaution against eels in the future, failing which we'd advise a closer check on your friends. Very truly yours, Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve, water commissioner. You got that? Yes, Mr. Gildersleeve. That ought a holder. What's next? Well, I don't know whether you want to do anything about this. Let's have it. Action, Miss Fitch. Let's clear the decks here. Very well. This is no time for bottlenecks. No. There's a notice that in every photograph of Donald Nelson, there's not a single paper on Donald Nelson's desk. That's the only way to be an executive. Do it now. Strike while the iron is hot. Come, come, come. What have you got there? A six-month reminder from your dentist. You. Well, suppose you put that in the deferred file. That's where it came from. You're a hard woman, Miss Fitch. All right, call up the dentist and make an appointment for money. Good. Come on. Let's get on here. Time's a-wasting. Have you got the application for my B gas ration? Yes, it's right here. Oh, I must remember to get that in this afternoon. It's all filled out. All you have to do is sign it. I better check it over. Let's see here. It says occupational use of the vehicle. If vehicle is used for driving between home and fixed place of work in the principal occupation as stated in items four and six above, answer all questions in part A below. If vehicle is used in the performance of the principal occupation stated in items four and six above, oh, brother, I'll take your word for it, Miss Fitch. Oh, you also have to get the signatures of any person sharing the ride with you. Oh, well, Judge Hooker is my share of the rider, but he isn't speaking to me. He can darn well sign, though. I understand very few people are going to get the B rations. Oh, I'll get one. All right. After all, I'm a city official. I have to do a lot of official driving. I'm entitled to one if anybody is. Yes, but have you heard who's head of the ration board now? It doesn't make any difference. Who? Judge Hooker. Oh, my goodness. Hooker will find some technicality. He'll block it if he has to stage a filibuster. Maybe I better invite the old goat to Thanksgiving dinner after all. That might soften him up a little. Yes, certainly. He couldn't accept a man's hospitality and then trick him out of his B card, could he? I don't recall that the application form covers that. No, I didn't think that. Quiet. Here comes the old sour ball now. There, Judge. And does the bus leave, Gilles? The bus leaves whenever you're ready, Judge. I'm ready now. Be right with you. Can't keep a customer waiting. Can we, Miss Fitch? I'll get my hat and coat. Mr. Gilles, leave. You're not forgetting. Oh, yes. Thank you. Now you're waiting, Judge. Miss Fitch has an application blank there that requires your signature. A mere formality, you know. What's this? Just to show that I'm sharing my car with you. Oh, so you're applying for a B ration book, huh? Aren't we all? Give the judge a pen, Miss Fitch. Here. Oh, use mine. It's a self-filler. I think you'll like it. There, that's it. There you are. Thank you, Judge. Well, see you Monday, Miss Fitch. Oh, by the way, Horace, I meant to ask you before, I hope you'll give us the pleasure of dining with us as usual on Thursday. Hmm. I thought you'd forgotten all about Thanksgiving. Not at all. Thanksgiving wouldn't be Thanksgiving without you, Horace. You know that. Holy Roy, now, why I fit this? I feel like a sissy in this full outfit. This is the kind of clothes the pilgrims wore. And they were no sissies. Yeah, but they didn't have to wear them in front of a whole auditorium full of people. Stand still, will you, before I jab you with this pen. Core chip or mild standage. I don't just think fear stops, John. I told you you'd get stuck. I think you're going to look real cute when I get this down. That's just what I'm afraid of. That's what the whole school is going to think. Lee Roy, will you stand? Any waist. I'm lucky the teacher doesn't make me play for a sin. I don't see why you feel that way. John Alden is a hero. Remember, it's John Alden who gets the girl. Yeah, that's a hammer-slogging and havin'. Well, look at our little pilgrim. No, wait till I get it pinned. You know your lines yet, young man? Some of them. Well, it's about time you've been rehearsing that part for a month. I've been trying to get out of this for a month. That's no attitude to take. The Core Chip of Mild Standage is great literature. I studied it in school myself. I remember it to this very day. This is the forest, primeval, the murmuring pines in the heavens. That's Evangeline, Uncle Mort. Well, that's good, too. Let's hear you recite that speech you were having trouble with last night, Lee Roy. No, I don't want it. Let's see if you've learned it. Some other time, Uncle. No, right now. I'd like to hear it. We both would. Wouldn't we, Marjorie? We'd love to. No, we'll do it. Not if she's gonna listen. Young man, you'll recite that speech or you'll go right upstairs to your room. Okay. We're waiting. Let's see. Pretty, Mr. Sparcella. Turned out of that theater to suit a one-who-go-last-and-yet... Yet loves thee with a noble and undying passion. Go back and try it again. Oh, I have to. Yes. You don't keep at it. You'll never learn the part. I don't learn the part. Maybe we won't have to do it. You'll do it or I'll know the reason why. Come on now, once more. Pretty, Mr. Sparcella. You're not trying. Pretty, Mr. Sparcella. You've got me doing it. Oh, Bertie, I want to talk to you. Lee Roy, you go up to your room and practice. Go on a little while. Standish anyway. Quiet, you. Bertie, I've invited Judge Hooker to Thanksgiving dinner. So that'll mean one more. That'll mean five more. What? Yes, I hope you don't mind, Uncle Mord. I invited four of the boys from Camp Fuller. Oh, well, fine. The more, the merrier. Thanksgiving isn't Thanksgiving unless there are plenty around to enjoy the turkey. Speaking of turkey, Mr. Gilles, please. Yes, Bertie? You wouldn't want to buy a chance on one, would you? I don't suppose so. What do you mean, Bertie? Well, the ladies at my church is holding the turkey wrap. Again? All right, I'll buy a chance. How much are they? 25 cents. That's for one. One chance. There you are. There's a quarter. Everybody around here has bought one from me. All the neighbors. Well, you're doing fine. Of course. You used to buy two chances and stand to reason you'd have twice as good a chance as they have. Yeah. No getting around that, Bertie. All right, I'll take two. Mr. Gilles, leave. You're making no mistake. Turkey's awful expensive this year. Yes, I know, Bertie. 48 cents a pound at day one grocery. Oh, brother. Yeah. So if even you used to buy three chances, you'd still be ahead. Sold, Bertie. Make it three. Yes, sir. Let's see now. How many is it going to be for dinner? Well, there's Marjorie and Lee Roy and Judge Booker and Mrs. Ransom and the four soldiers. And you, Bertie, that makes nine. And you, that makes 12. Oh, yes, me. Let's go to take a big turkey. Well, maybe we should order one right away and ask them to hold it for us. Well, let's wait and see how this raffle comes out first, Marjorie. We don't want to be stuck with two turkeys, you know? Of course, they've sold quite a lot of chances on it, and you've only got three. Bertie, if you can guarantee I'll get the turkey, I'll take five chances. Well, I can't promise nothing, but my cousin's doing the drawing. I'll take five. Well, that'll be a dollar and a quarter. That's right. Well, here's another dollar. That's quite a lot of money. Yes, it is. A dollar and a quarter will buy a lot of things. Don't I know it? You wouldn't like to take a couple more chances just to protect your investment. You get out of here, Bertie, before you ruin me. I got to get down to the ration board. Brother, look at that crowd. Pardon me. Could somebody tell me whether this is where you get B ration books? No, this is where you don't get them. Yeah, wise guy. Madam, would you mind? You can't shove in here. I'm not trying to shove in. I'm into the line. End of the line. I've been waiting here since two o'clock and you come trying to shove in. Yeah. Madam, I was merely trying to ask a civil question. I'm into the line, Bert. Just a minute. Who do you think you're pushing? Well, who do you think you're pushing? Well, who do you think you're pushing? Bye, George. If you weren't wearing glasses. Well, I'll take them off. There. You look worse. Put them back on. Shove in ahead of me. I did not. He did too when he squeezed me. Here, my good one. Well, you'll have to ask for order here, my friend. Why don't you just take your place in the line? I'm trying to find out whether this is the right line. I've come for my B ration book. Oh, you've come for it, eh? Yes. I have my application right here. Eh, you and a hundred million others. What? Young man, evidently, you don't know who I am. I happen to be Throckmorton P. Gillesleve, and I have to do a lot of driving. Where to? Well, out to the reservoir. To the reservoir. What for? See if there's anything in it. Yeah. Listen, brother, if we gave a ration book, everybody wants to drive out to the reservoir for a little necking in the moonlight. I don't do any necking in the moonlight. Oh, you like it in the dark. Yeah. I didn't come here to be insulted by underlings. End of the line. I want you to tell this young whippersnapper here where he gets off. Well, not guilty. He has the nerve to tell me I'm not entitled to a B ration book. Well, he may be right, guilty. You're only sharing the ride with one person. You can't throw those technicalities at me, Hooker. You're the share of my rider. You sign this application yourself. I know that, guilty. As a share of the rider, I'd be delighted to see you get your ration book. But as a ration official, I couldn't possibly pass this application. My conscience wouldn't allow it. All right, judge. As a ration official, you needn't bother to come to Thanksgiving dinner. And as a share of the rider, from now on, you can walk. You're all mine. We'll be with us again in just a few seconds. If you're troubled with a food budget that's hard to keep in line these days, just remember this. There are any number of wholesome, good-tasting, nutritious foods that can help you keep your food budget down. Now, one such food, surely, is Parquet Margarine, Kraft's Delicious Spread for Bread, because it's good-tasting, economical, and nutritious. Parquet Margarine's flavor is something pretty special. Thousands know it as the margarine that tastes so deliciously good. And just as important, Parquet Margarine is an economical source of food elements that your family needs. Yes, wholesome, nourishing Parquet Margarine is one of the best energy foods you can serve. And the year-round, every pound of Parquet contains 9,000 units of important vitamin A. Yes, it's wise to economize with Parquet Margarine. It's delicious, nutritious, and thrifty. So buy Parquet Margarine tomorrow. Just ask your food dealer for Parquet, P-A-R-K-A-Y. Parquet, the margarine that's made by Kraft. Come back to Somerville to the Great Gilder Sleeve. Apparently, he'll get no more gas than the rest of us, but what about Turkey? It's Tuesday afternoon now, only two days before Thanksgiving, and we find our hero checking last-minute details with margarine. What about those four soldiers, my dear? Are you sure they're coming? Oh, yes, I had a note this morning from their commanding officer. They'll arrive at 12 o'clock sharp in a jeep. A jeep? Oh, brother, what an appetite they'll have. I'll have to run around the house a couple of times to get myself up to concert pitch. Can't let the boys show me up at my own table. I don't think you need to worry about that, Uncle Mort. Well, I guess we're all set. Soldiers accepted, hooker canceled. Mrs. Ransom? Mrs. Ransom's coming, isn't she? You invited her, didn't you? No, I thought you'd take care of that. You're the lady of the house. But I thought you'd want to. Oh, dear, and I went over there this morning to borrow a roasting pan for the turkey and never said a word about it. What must she think? Oh, this is terrible. This is awful. I'll run over there right now. The fine thing, borrow a woman's roaster and not invite her to dinner. Oh, my goodness. Oh, Mr. Gilder Sleeve. Uh, Leela, I've come to explain. I don't know what there is to explain, I'm sure. May I come in? Well, I'm rather busy. Just for a moment. Well... Leela, of course you're coming to Thanksgiving dinner Thursday. Well, I'm hardly in the habit of going to places to which I've not been invited, Mr. Gilder Sleeve. But you are invited. You've been invited all along. There was a mix-up, that's all. I thought Marjorie had asked you and Marjorie thought I had. How do I know? How do I know you're not just inviting me for my roasting pan? The thing was further from my mind than a roasting pan. Oh, you say those things, but you don't mean them. It's the truth. You were the first one on my list, Leela. Was I Throckmorton? Sure not. Yeah, sure not. Oh, but I'm afraid I couldn't accept it this late day. You see, I've had all these other invitations. Oh. If I turned them down now, I know they'd be heartbroken, much as I'd like to have dinner with you. We're having a 20-pound turkey. I love turkey, but I'm afraid I can't. I'll save you the white meat. No, don't tip me now. I'll save you the wishbone. We can make a wish on it. What would you wish, Throckmorton? I'm not supposed to tell you. That I could trust you with a wishbone. These other people. But you've got to come, Leela. Marjorie and Leeroy will be terribly disappointed if you don't. And so will I. So will Birdie. And so will the army. The army? Yes. We're having four young lieutenants to dinner, too. You'll come? We'll are. That's too good to me, Leela. She's coming with bells on. I wouldn't put it past her. No, Leeroy. Certainly not. Why? I'm supposed to bring a gun to school tomorrow. What kind of a school are they running? A reform school? Not a bus. Oh, don't mess it up. Oh, put it on, Leeroy, and show Uncle Morton how nice it looks. Not finished. Oh, no. Go ahead. You look real nice in it. I look like a sissy in it. You look better than you do in that Mickey Mouse sweatshirt you wear all the time. And cleaner, too. Put on the pilgrim suit, Leeroy. Oh, wow. Your sister worked hard on it. Won't do you any harm to put it on once. Go ahead. Okay. Well, Bertie, you think we're going to have enough turkey for all these people Thursday? I don't know, Mr. Gillslee. Let's see now. We've got four soldiers and the four of us here, and Mrs. Ransom. What about Judge Hooker? Judge Hooker is an ungrateful old goat. Ever mentioned his name in this house? Excuse me. I didn't know it was like that again. There'll be eight of us at dinner. And you know the way soldiers eat. You think we ought to figure on two turkeys? I don't know, Mr. Gillslee. I don't know what we ought to do. What's the matter, Bertie? You seem to be sort of dragging today. I don't know. I don't guess I feel so good. Out a little late last night? No, a certain old lady than usual. I just got a feeling that's all. What kind of a feeling? Like things weren't going to work out somehow. Oh, well, don't let it get you down. By the way, when are they going to raffle off that turkey I bought all those chances on? Yes. We can't wait much longer to find out about that. Thanksgiving's only two days off. I was thinking, Mr. Gillslee, how would it be if we had a nice ham instead of a turkey? Hiding something from us. Except they had that raffle last night. Oh. You came mighty close. The winning number was 61, and you had 62. But it still leaves us without a turkey. Well, solder. Oh, well, if you gamble, you have to expect those things. We better order a turkey right away, though. Yes, we can't invite all those soldiers to come 20 miles for Thanksgiving dinner and have no Thanksgiving dinner. I'll go call up the market and reserve one. That's just a trial vote. What do you mean? I called up the market, and all the turkeys is reserved. You mean they won't sell us one? Butchers says there ain't a turkey left in Somerfield. I don't know what's the matter. Last week, no pop rolls. This week, no turkey. We've got to have a turkey. We've invited all these soldiers. We've invited Mrs. Ransom. We've got to find one. Where? Don't ask me. All right, Aunt. How do you like it? Like what? The pilgrim suit. We just lost our turkey. No turkey? No turkey. How do you like that? The drugstore. Some Thanksgiving dinner. The drugstore. Maybe PB's got a turkey. Hold everything, kids. I'll be right back. I'm going to the drugstore. PB, you've got to help me out. Well, I'm always glad to do a customer service. Good. Have you got a turkey? What was that again? Have you got a turkey? A turkey? Well, now I've had people come in here and ask for some strange things. This is the first time I've ever had a request for a turkey. It is, but never mind that. Have you got one? No, Mr. Gilbert, please. Turkeys are one thing that I don't carry. I'm sorry. Have you tried to meat market? Of course I've tried to meat market. Why do you think I came in here? I wonder. Now, just a minute, PB. You serve turkey sandwiches at your soda fountain, don't you? Yes, we do serve a turkey sandwich. You can't make a turkey sandwich without a turkey, can you? No, I wouldn't say that. In other words, PB, your turkey sandwich is not a turkey sandwich. Well, turkey sandwich has become a sort of a trade expression. Although we serve it with genuine cranberry jelly on the side. But suppose you don't care for cranberry jelly. Then you just ask for the regular chicken sandwich. PB, I'm surprised at you. I don't know how you can sleep nights. I did used to have a little trouble, but I just take a cup of hot cocoa before going to bed. Now, now I find that sets me right. So does Mrs. PB. Well, this isn't finding a turkey. I got to get going. Goodbye. Goodbye, Mr. Görasleeve. Have a nice Thanksgiving. It's same to you. Don't drink too much cocoa. And don't let Mrs. PB. I've been everywhere. It's no use. The army's picked the place clean. There's not a single turkey left. Maybe I should warn those boys at camp. They'll do better if they stay there. Yes. Wait, there's just one chance left. What's that? If we can find out who won the turkey in Birdie's raffle, we might be able to buy it from them. Yes, Birdie. Yes, Mr. Görasleeve. Would you mind coming in here? Yes, sir. Birdie, do you know who won that turkey in your raffle? No, sir. Do you think you could find out? Well, sir, I might be able to. Then again, I might not. What do you mean by that? Well, if I still find out who won, you might not like it. Come clean, Birdie. What bush are you beating about now? You won the turkey? Yes. Well, why didn't you say so? Who is it? Well, you said never to mention Judge Hooker's name. Oh! That's our only chance. Uncle Moore, don't you think Judge Hooker would be willing to let you have it? After what I told him down at the ration board? No, my dear. I really gave him a piece of my mind there. I thought if you took it all back and invited him to dinner again. When he's got the turkey, he'd just laugh at me. He'd, he'd... Wait a minute. Birdie. Does Judge Hooker know yet that he's won the turkey? No, sir. I'm supposed to deliver it to him this evening. Excuse me, folks. I got to see a judge about a bird. Horace, I've come to ask your forgiveness. You've come to the wrong place, Gildersleeve. That's a cruel attitude, Judge. But I don't blame you for taking it. You behave like a boor, Gildersleeve. You're right. A big boor. In front of a whole lot of people, too. Yeah. I could kick myself when I think of it. Yeah. We all fly off the handle sometimes. There was no excuse for it. Doing a thing like that to my old friend. Well, Gildersleeve. Horace, you may think me a sentimental old fool. But we've been pals for a good many years now, haven't we? Uh, off and on. Yes, Gildersleeve, we have. Off and on. And we've always had Thanksgiving dinner together, haven't we? Yeah, I guess that's right. Well, I want you to have it with us again this year. You really mean that? Well, Horace, I've said it before, and I mean it now more than ever. If you don't come to Thanksgiving dinner, it just won't be Thanksgiving dinner. Certainly be delighted to come. Good. Don't forget now. I won't. We'll be counting on you. I'll be there. What time would you like to have me come? Oh, come early, Judge. Come about nine o'clock in the morning. Nine o'clock? Yeah. And when you come, would you mind bringing that turkey you want in the raffle, Judge? But it's been a mighty pleasant day. Oh, stick around, Judge. The evening's young yet? No, I've got to get an early start in the morning. But I don't know when I've had a finer Thanksgiving. Well, it was your turkey, Judge. I share my turkey, you share your car. That's the spirit today. And good spirit, too. It brings people together, Judge. Yes, it does, Gildy. I'm sorry we had that misunderstanding down the ration board. As a matter of fact, you're probably entitled to a B ration. You use your car for official business. Well, I don't want a B book. What? No, I've been thinking about it, Horace. The spirit of rationing is to get along with as little as you can. Instead of grabbing all you can get. You're absolutely right, Gildy. And I'm glad to hear you say it. You're a credit to the community. Well, thank you, Horace. And you may rest assured that even though I've only a humble A ration, my car will still be at your service at all times. You mean that, Gildy? I do indeed. That's fine. I've got to meet a train at Moore's Junction at six o'clock tomorrow morning. Good night, Gildy. Good night, everybody. Closed and conducted by Billy Mills. This is Ken Coffinger speaking for the Kraft Cheese Company and inviting you to tune in again next week for the further adventures of The Great Gilder Sleeves. Ladies, when you want to make good macaroni and cheese, get a package of Kraft Dinner. This wonderful product is really an answer to a housewife's prayer for an easy and quick-to-make main dish. It takes only seven minutes cooking time to fix delicious macaroni and cheese with Kraft Dinner. Put the macaroni that's in the package into boiling water and cook rapidly for seven minutes. In just that short time, you have fluffy, tender macaroni all ready for the cheese goodness. So you take the package of Kraft Grated, which comes with Kraft Dinner, and sprinkle it on the macaroni, stirring the delicious cheese flavor through and through. That's all there is to it. Your macaroni and cheese is ready to be served. And once you've prepared it this way, you'll never want to go back to the old-fashioned way of baking it. Not when Kraft Dinner gives you such tempting macaroni and cheese in just seven minutes. Why not try it tomorrow? Just ask your dealer for a package of Kraft Dinner. It's so convenient, so economical, and so good. This program reached you from Hollywood. This is the National Broadcasting Company.