 Father, today I only hear your deepest sigh I come to interese if your word I have no prayer but they come to ask you for the true voice but God's be be stay Father, I only I come to you to ask you for the true and truth is but your will which I will share with you and in stillness hallowed by He God tells us of only He Ah, that's the way. Start the morning out. Beautiful. Thank you so much, Netta. And welcome. Welcome, everyone. Yeah, what a great opportunity we have to come together. And as the song said, I only want to hear your voice. You know, getting in touch with that inner voice is so important. And in working with the book, A Course in Miracles, that is something that is advocated. There are many, many wonderful pathways to God and we all are aware of them and we are aware of the importance of silence. We are aware of the importance of practice or ritual, even though ritual is not meant to be permanent, it's just designed to fall away but we can't overlook the healthfulness of ritual. And also this idea of prayer which is part of many traditions, prayer, we're not talking just the prayer of words but we're talking about the prayer of the heart, the prayer of your desire because Jesus tells us that truth will be returned to you, to your awareness by your desire as it was lost by your desire for something else. So we can acknowledge the importance of silence, the importance of practice and the importance of prayer but we're talking deep prayer, not just ritualistic repetition of words but the prayer of the heart, what it is that you truly desire, that you truly want in your heart of hearts, that is also very, very important. And when we open up to truth, it's interesting what Jesus has to tell us in A Course in Miracles about truth because the first time I read this line in the course, I just had kind of a big smile on my face with wide eyes and I read the line, the truth is true and only the truth is true. It just seemed like so funny to me because I'm like, okay, he's like, this is important. The truth is true and only the truth is true. Echoing what many of the mystics and sages have said throughout the ages, that truth has no opposite. What does that mean to a mind that believes in opposites? It's like saying the truth is abstract, okay? Can you give me an example of abstraction? I get that question a lot where people write to me. What is abstract? Can you give me an example of abstraction? And I write back, no, I can't. There aren't any examples in a world of images, in a world of duality, in a world of multiplicity. You're asking for an example of absolute oneness. You're asking for an example of that which has no opposite, in a world of opposites. Well, can you give me some words? What's a good synonym? Well, I can tell you that Jesus tells us words are but symbols of symbols twice removed from reality. So no, I cannot give you a word, either. There is no word. We can practice with words and the name of God is my inheritance comes to mind as a workbook lesson where basically we can take one word like God and let that one word safely replace all the others, the trillions and trillions of others with a prayer, with a desire that we know the actual presence of love, of oneness of God, not as a word, but as an actual experience of identity. Of identity, Christ is an idea in the mind of God. The prayer of our heart is to know that. So if we're really honest and we take a look, we see that A Course in Miracles is a book that has a lot of words. In fact, the scribe of the course was said to have exclaimed one time at last a pathway back to God for intellectuals. That gives us a little bit of an idea why there's so many chapters, 31 chapters, 365 lessons, a manual for teachers and a clarification of terms. But let us not forget that words are but symbols of symbols twice removed from reality. Our words essential to truth know there, there actually are no words in the truth. The truth is beyond the words. Rudy's checking, I think somebody's building something. We have many opportunities for forgiveness. Sights, sounds, smells, it goes on and on and on. So if words have nothing to do with truth, because truth is absolute oneness, Jesus says in the workbook, we say God is and then we cease to speak pointing to that absolute stillness of truth. What is the role of words then in healing? Because healing is more practical for us. Truth is the ultimate state of what is. What is the role of words in healing? Jesus tells us strictly speaking, words play no role in healing. Okay, now we're starting to get things in perspective. Words are not the truth and words play strictly speaking no role in healing. Well, who invented the words? They don't seem really that important. The ego made up words. We should have a clue about that in this world because if you travel around the world, you go to countries, there's many countries and what, many languages. Right here in Europe, there are many languages. Differences? Oh yeah, different languages, you know, the Nordic languages and the Latin and the Greek and we have ancient languages, we have newer languages. Just like in Alaska, they have many different words for snow, in Europe, there are many different languages and you need an interpreter. But an interpreter, a good interpreter will try to convey the meaning beneath the differences of the words and the languages to keep the meaning stable and consistent and that's what the Holy Spirit is doing with this projected world of ego differences and words and images is the Holy Spirit is the interpreter and why do we need the Holy Spirit? Because we need to have one meaning for everything. Only a single purpose can stabilize perception. Only a single purpose can endow events and circumstances with stable meaning. We will not find lasting stillness without a purpose and Jesus is telling us that the purpose of the world, the purpose for which the world was made, the purpose for which time and space was made, the purpose for which the cosmos was made was, he calls it hate, that's underneath the projected world. Hate made the world. Some of you might remember from the course, fear binds the world, forgiveness sets it free. Hate made the world. Forgiveness sets a sleeping mind free to be itself. So though the world was made by the ego, God doesn't know of past, present and future. God doesn't know of time. God doesn't understand linear time. God doesn't understand separation. God doesn't understand fragmentation. Strictly speaking of course, God doesn't understand words. Remember we've been told God knows the prayer of your heart before a word is uttered. The language of God and understanding is one of stillness. Be still and know that I am God and the approach to God is through healing and healing is unified perception. Now you may notice that the language in A Course in Miracles is a little bit different than Advaita Vedanta, a little bit different than popular teachers like Muji or Eckert or Adishanti use. Teachers use different languages but we can talk across all these different languages about unified awareness. You can call it unified awareness, you can call it forgiveness. If you're a scientist, you can call it the quantum field. It goes by different names but it's a state of unified awareness. And the only way of approaching truth is this sense of unified awareness. In A Course in Miracles, Jesus says that ideas leave not their source. So just like Christ is an idea in the mind of God and Christ has never left the source, Christ has never left the Creator. Christ is in heaven, God is in heaven and heaven is a state of mind, a perfect oneness, it's not a place. There's no where, where is it? There is no question about where. It's all that there is. It's a state of mind without opposite. The kingdom of heaven has no opposite but in approaching that, we have to come to the state of presence. We have to come to the state of unified awareness. We have to come to a state of mind that is so unified that it knows not of judgment. That's what unified awareness is. That's what the forgiven world is. It knows not of judgment. Oftentimes, I hear people saying, I've got this really bad habit, it's called judgment, and I know I could be happy if I could just stop judging. Isn't that pretty common? Stop judging. The Course is telling me to stop judging. Actually, the Course isn't telling you to stop judging. If you read in the Manual for Teachers, it's saying that actually judgment is impossible. You see the difference between trying to stop something that's really there and coming to an awareness that it never was possible in the first place? And doesn't that make intuitive sense that God, why would God create a being, an extension of God that could judge? That's ridiculous. Why would oneness decide, oh, I think I'm gonna get a little judgment going here? A little spice. There's no need for spice in oneness. Love doesn't need to spice things up. It's glorious enough without the spicing things up with judgment. Now, judgment is not something that you need to stop. It's something that you need to experience as utterly and completely and absolutely impossible. And I'm not talking about a future event. I'm saying it simply has no existence. And yet if you believe in it, the Holy Spirit has a way to reach the mind that even believes the judgment is possible. And isn't that wonderful? I mean, if you were looking for an escape hatch from the world of time and space, you would want to go into that escape hatch of that portal that would take you into the place of, wow, everything just is so wonderful that all things be exactly as they are. All things work together for good. There are no exceptions. What a spectacular, spectacular state of mind. So here's how that is accomplished in the sense of Jesus tells us this is a journey without distance to a goal that has never changed. Okay, prepare you now for the undoing of what never was. Don't you love the way that he's talking? I mean, he's talking in there like, lighten up a little bit. This isn't as serious as you're making it out to be because you're just simply gonna be undoing what never was in the first place, which is judgment. It never was the undoing of what never was. And yet he starts his sentence off with prepare you now. Okay, we have to take this at face value that if I believe I'm asleep and dreaming and I'm caught in a mind filled with judgments that maybe in that mind there will be some preparation necessary. Maybe I need preparation, seeming preparation to go into that state of unified awareness and then beyond that to experience the truth. Krishna Murthy, wow, what a being. Krishna Murthy said, truth is a pathless land. He was saying the same thing that Jesus was saying. Truth is true and only truth is true. So don't get into comparing and judging and criticizing pathways. Even Helen Shuckman, the scribe of A Course in Miracles after she had scribed the course, she started to get in kind of these motherly feelings. Like in this world, mothers in different species want to protect their young. She started feeling a little protective of this book that she spent seven years with great difficulty channeling. She was a bit protective about the course. And as time went on after the course came, she was a bit concerned about people are misusing the course, people are taking words out of, passages out of context. And Jesus simply said to her, take not another's pathway as your own. Neither should you judge it. Like I have given you this course as an answer to a prayer. And actually the first words that were coming from Jesus to Helen Shuckman, which he repeated over and over at the very beginning, was this is a course in miracles, please take notes. And then it come back a little bit later. This is a course in miracles, please take notes. He kept repeating that one line because what? She wasn't taking notes. She wasn't following the instructions. It was the Lord of life speaking to her and she was like, I beg your pardon. I've got lots of things to do today. And Jesus patiently, this is a course in miracles, please take notes. You see how loving, just repeat the instruction. And then finally she runs to Bill, her boss at Columbia Presbyterian Medical Center and she's like, it's just, there's a voice and it won't go away and it keeps repeating itself, it's insistent. And he said, well, maybe you should write down. Bill, there's your collaborator, we need collaboration. Maybe you should just write it down. Write it down, we'll look at it in the morning. If it's complete gibberish, if it's crazy, we'll just crumple the paper up, we'll throw it in the waste game. Bill, the comforter, just allow it, just allow it to say whatever it has to say. These are research psychologists, so they, psychologists, psychiatrists tend to lock people up that hear inner voices so that you can see there's some apprehension going on here and they don't know what's going on, they just pray, they ask for another way and the other way was being given to them and then Bill was just saying, just let it, we did ask for another way to live so let's just give it a chance and we'll throw it away if it doesn't make any sense. And then came, this is A Course in Miracles, it is a required course, the very famous introduction came through and they both took a, like in, that is a voice liberation, ah, it took a ah, a sigh, a sigh, the original ah of A Course in Miracles was let it come, just let it enter, let it enter. And I would say that that's really why we're all here because underneath all of us gathering together is there's a prayer, we have a prayer for peace, peace of mind, we have a prayer for healing, we have a prayer for happiness, for joy, for laughter, we have a very deep prayer to know the fruits of the kingdom and ultimately to know ourself as we were created by God. The only anxiety, the only worry, the only concern that ever enters our mind is when we forget one simple thing, I am as God created me. Just from the belief that I can create myself, all difficulty seems to arise, from the belief that I can be my own source, that I can be the creator of myself, that I can invent myself and I can reinvent myself and I can make myself, as the ego might say, any damn way I want to be, that belief that I can make myself, I will assure you is behind any worry, concern, fear, guilt, pain, suffering, it's just one thing. So I want you, as you come to this experience this week, I want you to come back and relax into I did not create myself. You can let your shoulders, I didn't create myself. I really don't have anything to worry about. I really don't have anything to be really concerned about because thank heavens, I did not create myself. That's why I'm here, I'm here because of that and because I felt it's so strong in my heart that I have always felt for these 33 years with the Course and Jesus guiding me that like he told the apostles, go where you are welcomed and I feel here in this barn with all of you here in the Netherlands, I feel the welcome, I feel I have been called here to speak these words that the Holy Spirit wants to put on my heart and share. That's why I'm here, I've been called, I've been invited, I gladly accept, I accept with joy this great welcome. Also, I think why we're coming here is we're coming here to teach the kingdom to the kingdom. You know, always they say, go on, go on, you're just preaching to the choir. Well, Jesus says, teach the kingdom to the kingdom. We're here to share the love and joy and happiness and laughter in our heart with each other which is really with ourself. We're here to strengthen our awareness, come closer in awareness to the kingdom of heaven. That's no small thing, that's huge. I used to think when I was in university and I went to all these in services and I would go to conferences and so forth, I would think I was going to get something. I would go, I would take notes, I would listen to the speaker, I would think I am here to receive something from the speaker but I didn't realize that I was there to give as we're always, wherever we seem to be, to give, to extend. And giving and receiving are the same so we are blessed in that giving. When we're kind, when we're open-hearted, when we're smiling and laughing, we're extending but also we're extending to ourself. Teaching is not in words alone. Teaching is our attitude. In fact, if the attitude doesn't match the words, you know how children can spot that right away. Mommy says she's happy but she doesn't look happy. They can spot a contradiction easily between the attitude and the words and we also have to be that quick. We can't be like that game the emperor has no clothes on where you go around pleasing and pretending and don't say that, you shouldn't do this, you shouldn't do that. Instead of telling people you shouldn't judge, why not just realize for ourself in our mind that judgment is impossible? Doesn't that seem more practical than going around saying to people and pointing the finger, you shouldn't judge? What does that even mean? How is that helpful? It's like we just want to come to that state of mind where we have that loving acceptance and it extends and radiates towards everyone that we see. So I happily accepted the invitation to come here. I have to say, as I said last night too with Kos and Doris and the great tradition of teaching a course of miracles here with those teachers and the devotion of those teachers that devotion is important in the sense that devotion is a witness. And it's important for us as we're taking our baby steps to have witnesses of devotion. It happened in the parable of David. I came across a course of miracles at a humanistic psychology conference that Carl Rogers was the speaker at in La Jolla, California, Southern California. And right away when the book was in my hands I was also given a book called Forgiveness in Jesus by Ken Wobnick and a book called Nothing Real Can Be Threatened by Tara Singh. So I got three books at once, a course and Forgiveness in Jesus and Nothing Real Can Be Threatened. Very shortly after I received the book I was guided to go to Los Angeles by two students of Tara Singh and then I went there to the house where they lived and they were all living there in purpose and devotion, very devoted lives. As I also, Tara Singh, was living a very devoted life. He was an Indian teacher, a Sikh who was teaching and practicing the course of miracles back in 1986. That was important for me to go there. That was important for me to walk through the door and go into the house and feel this expansive feeling in my heart and then to look around and sayings from the course on the wall. A picture of Gandhi, a picture of Mother Teresa. There's saints and mystics. It was a very important kind of, almost like a premonition of this will be your life just by walking into this house on South Burnside Avenue in Los Angeles. It was like a powerful witness, like here's a premonition, this is going to be your life too, a life of devotion to spirit. And then a few years later I went and I went to a gathering by Tara Singh in Monroe, Michigan and I remember he got to the chair in front of all the audience but he got there, I think he got there maybe an hour and a half before the audience showed up and he was in stillness and meditation sitting by himself on the stage. And Jesus guided me to go in there and sit in one of the chairs and go into a deep meditation with Tara Singh. And it was so funny when the people started to file in I was in such a deep meditation that they were like energy patterns in my mind. It was like the matrix. All these energy patterns whooshing behind me, whooshing around me and that was important for me to go and meet Tara Singh. It was important for me the next year to go up and spend a lot of time with Ken and Gloria Wapnick and their foundation for the Awakening Mind up there in the Catskill Mountains. And it was important for me the first trip I took then five years after the course came to my life Jesus took me on a trip, a five and a half week trip around the United States and meeting Robert Perry, meeting Beverly Hutchinson, going up to Community Miracles Center. Back then it was called California Miracles Center and going around meeting my friend Dorothy who was in a very high state of mind, very happy, joyful woman going around and that was important too because it was like Jesus saying enjoy the ride. This is gonna be the tour where you're gonna meet people on this trip who have dedicated their whole lives to practicing and living A Course in Miracles. That was helpful. And I think with Coase and Doris and the work that they've done with Mick, Miracles and Contact and the organization here in Holland you have a tradition, you have a devotion to the Course in Miracles as a pathway and living this, really taking it on to live it. And I applaud you for that. I offer my gratitude for that. In the whole context of Europe where we've had world wars, we've had the Spanish Inquisition, we've had the Crusades, Muslims killed in the name of Jesus, you're here in Holland and you're embracing A Course in Miracles and it's not even popular to embrace something by Jesus in Europe and you're doing it anyway. I think that's fantastic. I know Netta, we've talked a lot when she first started to receive the songs and everything it was like whoa, this is going against my upbringing a little bit. You were speaking for all of Europe, yes, yes. The ego has misused the Christian symbols, has misused the word God, has misused the word Jesus Christ, has misused the words Holy Spirit. It's been so misused that it's not surprising that Europeans with some of these words have a bad taste in their mouth. They're sour to these words. History has not been kind, the ego's use of these words has not been kind, has not really been pointing to love. It's been pointing to control and war and manipulation and secrecy and privacy. These are not qualities of God. God has nothing to do with any of those things. So when I come here to Europe and I go and teach in gatherings, I won't even, in some cases, I didn't even use those words. I would talk more in Advaita terms. I would talk more in psychological terms. I would use movies. I even had a movie that Jason and I were gonna show in Ireland and Northern Ireland and the Holy Spirit had us edit the movie for an Irish version and a Northern Irish version of the movie because the symbols have been so misused in Ireland that the Spirit was like, here, you'll need this one in Ireland, you'll need this one in Northern Ireland. The Spirit loves us so much that we'll tailor the message to reach our hearts in whatever it takes because there's no specialness to any words. Truth is way beyond the words and as I said before, strictly speaking, words are not necessary for healing. Healing is more associated with prayer and prayer is the medium of miracles and prayer transcends all cultures, all concepts. Prayer is like your altar in your mind and you want to cultivate that altar, you want to keep that altar clean and pure and clear to maintain your connection with God. So I have had fun, I have had so much fun coming to Europe and here in Holland three years ago that was amazing and then it seems like though, every time I come to Europe, there's something big happening. Like, there's a lot of drama. Like, I mean, I come here and everyone's all excited and everyone's glued to the TV set and I said, what's going on? It's the Euro Cup. I said, ooh, okay, tell me, Euro Cup. He said, we'll get back to that in a bit. We're all watching the Euro Cup, I said, okay. All the countries, Euro Cup, every country, Euro Cup, Euro Cup, Euro Cup, Euro Cup. Sounds important. Okay, then I come back another time. They're like, it's important. They're electing a new pope. We're waiting for the smoke to come out of the steeple. And then finally when they do, oh, we've elected an Argentinian. It's Francis, Pope Francis, you know. Just when I come, Pope Francis gets elected. Okay, then I came, it was coming over one time. They said, scientists in Bern, Switzerland where the particle accelerated is have discovered the God particle. Right when I'm coming, right before I get here, in Europe, they're all excited. We've discovered the God particle and the reason they named it the God particle is interesting whenever scientists use that word and particle together. You know, it's fascinating because scientists don't believe in God but now they're calling this the God particle. Okay, but it's the particle that's found everywhere in the universe. So I thought, oh, that's kind of cool. That's a good name, God particle. And now it's Brexit. Now I hear that October 31st, here I'm coming in October, and October 31st is Brexit deadline. I know there's been other deadlines but still, you know. The Europeans say, just stick around, David. The deadline might get pushed and pushed and pushed. It's kicking the can down the road, down the road. But what I'm talking about is forgiveness, which is like going into a state of mind that simply sees the false as false. It doesn't have to figure out the false. It doesn't have to make a commentary on the false. It doesn't even have to solve the false. It just, forgiveness simply sees the false as false. And that's why I think the razor sharp metaphysics of A Course in Miracles are important because why? Because Jesus said, God did not create the world. God did not create time. God did not create the body. These are important teachings metaphysically if you're going to see the false as false. It's helpful to have someone who's transcended the false to point out what the false are because there's no person that can discern the false as false. But the Holy Spirit who is a creation of God but has this ability to overlook the error, not only does he have a function but it's a very important function for the sleeping mind because that's why we pray and we follow the instructions of the Holy Spirit. We ask to see with Christ's vision. We ask to merge with the Holy Spirit because the Holy Spirit is that unified awareness, that purpose I'm talking about, that stillness, that unified mind that does not judge because it cannot judge. And the Holy Spirit has the function of using what the ego made. So before I was saying the ego made the words, you know, there's symbols of symbols twice removed from reality. The ego made up the words but the Holy Spirit can use what the ego made. So that means the Holy Spirit can use the words to unwind the mind from believing in the words and believing in the fragmentation. That's what guidance is. What's the difference between a Course in Miracles and Advaita Vedanta? Advaita Vedanta is a beautiful, beautiful, non-dualistic spiritual pathway to God. Ramana Maharshi, Nizhigadatta, Muji, Gangaji. It's a beautiful, beautiful pathway and it involves discipline, it involves opening to this state of mind and I would say oftentimes to silence, if you go to Sahaja, I met Muji, we spent some time together last November up in the mountains in southern Portugal but then there was very reverent and very still and very devotional and there was much joy and much laughter and many smiles and I would say that Advaita basically is a pathway that is a very good pathway back to God but Advaita doesn't really emphasize guidance. You're not hearing a lot of the Advaitans talking about guidance. Now you've been given a Course in Miracles and the Course does emphasize guidance. In fact, Jesus is saying that there are other things that have served others well for years, meditation, contemplation, fighting against sin. He rattles them off in the I need to do nothing section and he says your way will be different. A holy relationship is given you as a means of saving time and he even calls some of the traditional methods tedious and time consuming. So we're students, we're followers of Jesus, we're following his pathway and he's saying this will save you time, this will save thousands of years for you and for everyone and he's giving us the means of holy relationship and also he's giving us the means of guidance. The difference between spending eight, 10, 12, 14, 16 hours a day in meditation and following a pathway of guidance is that his workbook is designed basically to be used in almost any conceivable environment and situation that you can think of and it's a means of converting the way that you look at the world allowing the Holy Spirit to use the images to take you to that unified awareness. You see, there's a methodology to Course in Miracles that does involve guidance. What is guidance but the Holy Spirit's use of what the ego made? What did the ego make? The ego made the words and the ego made the judgments. You know that thing that we're really impossible incapable of doing? The ego invented judgment. Now you may say, why did the ego invent judgment in the first place? Well, Jesus describes that when the mind seemed to fall from grace to believe the impossible, to believe in separation, that the mind went from a natural state of unified joy and love and harmony into a very chaotic state of mind. To go from perfect oneness into something else that is just fiction, is just illusion, that's a drop off from bliss to chaos and the ego to protect itself invented judgment as a way of bringing order into chaos. Just like if you had preschoolers that were having a food fight and you got in there into the preschool room and you said, okay, stop. All you little girls over there, all you little boys over there, they've got cream and stuff hanging all over. Now we're gonna clean up, help each other clean up and no, stop, no more throwing food. You see, the preschool teacher comes in and starts arranging and organizing, dividing the group up, rules, no more throwing food and everything to try to what? Bring order, to restore order to the preschool room and that's what the ego tried to do with this chaotic state of mind. And so judgment is a way of minimizing the chaos without letting it go. Because why the ego needs you to keep believing in the chaos? The ego doesn't want you to give it up for once and for all because why? You've given up the ego then, you're back in heaven, which you never left. You're just back into the remembrance, the awareness of truth if you give up what you never could do in the first place. But all defense mechanisms are for minimizing fear and keeping fear. That's the two things that they do, minimize fear and keep it. And that's why we have to lay down all of our defenses. In the end, you'll find with a course of miracles that you really do need to be devoted. You know, Jesus says in the course, you will believe this course entirely, this course will be believed entirely or not at all. You know, you don't get brownie points, angel points for 70%, you know, like, oh yeah, I got involved in miracles, I was really flowing there, but you know, I had financial problems and health issues, a few other things weighed me down. I had to be practical. Had to work to get that health insurance and you know, Jesus is not interested in 70% or 80% or 90% or 99%. This course will be believed entirely or not at all. So that's why I have such a warm spot in my heart for devotion. When I meet teachers like Kos and Doris and have worked with students for year after year after year, that just warms my heart. That just warms my heart. I feel a love pouring through because I can recognize devotion and I absolutely see how central this is. Ken Wapnick said many things during his many decades of teaching, but toward the end of his life, even Ken started to say, I really see now more than ever that this has to be your top priority. Like this cannot be somewhere on your priority list. You know, feed the family, maintain the body, keep a roof over the children's head, dah, dah, dah, dah, down. And then number seven, course and miracles, you know. Oh no, you gotta flip it, flip it. Don't be a flippity jibbit, flip it, flip it. Put God first. Put healing first. Put awakening first and allow everything else to fall away. And it will fade and disappear. I'll guarantee you, as you go for God, everything else will fade away. Why? It's because God is real. And who you are, your true essence of Christ is real and all the illusions will just fall off your mind just dripping and evaporating away if you put God first. And Ken really realized that at the end. You know, beyond anything that seemed to be important, devotion to healing, devotion to forgiveness has to be number one. And that's important. I like that I was shown people as witnesses that had devoted their entire life to course and miracles. That was one of the early trips. Some of the early trips were basically saying, here you go, David, look at this one. They've devoted their whole life to the course. Well, that's helpful. I like the vibe of that. It gives me hope. Maybe I could do that too. It helps. That's why people go and visit monasteries sometime or they go to spend time in convents because they just wanna be around, hang out with those that have dedicated their whole life. You have to admit in this modern day world that a lot of monasteries and convents are closing and closing rapidly. Here are people that gave over their entire lives to their calling, to poverty, to chastity, to obedience. And then they grew older and older and then I've been in Spain quite a bit and I look at all these monasteries just on the island where I've been staying down there in Mallorca. And they aren't really active monasteries. They're like, they've turned into restaurants, hotels, museums. Even this place, you get to feel in some of these corridors, there was probably some deep prayer that was going on here at some point. But the egos need for commercialization, profit, making money and everything. It's like that's the way of the world. It's a replacement for heaven. What do you expect? There's lots of reciprocity, lots of exchange, lots of money making going on in the ego system. And yet what I notice is I go around and they tell me, this used to be, here's a chapel. It's not actively used anymore. You can go in there and take pictures and you can pray in there if you want. But then there's a gift shop and we do have a restaurant and a little ice cream bar over here. And then you go there and then, oh, we've got a hotel too. You like the vibe up here? Stay in our hotel room, you know. You have to realize that this is the tendency of the ego. The ego is gonna try to make everything into exchange, into reciprocity, into survival of the body. It's a different direction from deep prayer and devotion. It's not the same direction. And, but I love how the Course is saying, like you are the light of the world and you bring the light with you. So I don't ever avoid any place, you know. I used to, I would love to go to shopping malls and a friend of mine would go with me and we would just go there to just pray and bless everyone and hug people and pour out all of our love from our heart as the light of the world. Meanwhile, my friend's girlfriend, she said, that is the haven of the ego. You must avoid malls at all costs. And I'm like, I'm not interested really in avoiding. I want to love. I'm not interested in being loved, but it's important for me to love, to use every situation, every opportunity as an opportunity to share the Beatitudes, to share the love, to bring the joy, to bring the light, to bring the lightness with me wherever I go on a train ride. I'm coming down here and I'm in this Volkswagen van coming down here from the airport, from Chippewa Airport and I'm in the front row. I've got a whole couch to myself with the driver so I'm like stretched out on the couch and he's like, you don't have to wear your seatbelt like that but that's okay because I've stretched it all the way across to give me lots of room there and I have a great talk with the guy and in a while he's talking, talking, talking with me and then he starts, he just brings up Buddhism, he starts talking about Buddhism, he starts talking about different things and then he says, oh and I'm Catholic. I'm like, really? And then we just had the best interaction. It was a holy encounter that lasted two hours coming down here and he's telling me his whole life story, we're just having a ball in there but I'm here to connect. I don't care whether the topic is science, I like science, I like to take it up into quantum physics and talk about the quantum field. Religion, I have nothing against religion. I think religion is peace of mind and I love having religious discussions and meeting missionaries and people all over the place, ministers on planes and whatever. Atheist, I adore atheists. We have so much fun. I think if they ever have a convention, worldwide convention, Atheist Unite, they should invite me to come because I'm just gonna love them up and I just love them. In fact, when I'm talking with them, they're talking about God could never do this. I'm like, right. And God could never do that. I'm like, absolutely, I'm totally with you. And God would never have to do with separating people and this is for God and this is against God. I say, I am absolutely with you. I have a wonderful talk with atheists everywhere I go. It's just like an affinity because what does Jesus say through his course of miracles, his psychotherapy pamphlet, his song of prayer is one point where Jesus says, belief in God is unnecessary for God can be but known. Score one for the atheist. And then there are others that have strange ideas about God, they're very anthropomorphic. God sounds very much like a human God and that's the God that the atheists can't buy. Zapping tribes and getting angry and they say, that's ridiculous. A God that gets angry, I'm totally with you. I totally, I'm totally aligned with you on that. And the point of our journey of forgiveness is to feel the connection and feel the love, to not try to separate, to not get into tit for tat over beliefs or theology. If there's only one belief, Jesus tells us, that takes us back to heaven and that's forgiveness, I'm interested in joining in the experience of that belief. And to me, the way that I do that is I pray before my encounters and Jesus just gives me the words to use and he puts words in my mouth and they get all excited and light up but it's all involuntary. I'm just have the prayer of my heart to connect with everyone. I have no enemies, I'm here to connect with everyone, everyone that I meet, everyone that I think about in my mind, I'm there to connect with. That's the only purpose of thinking about people is to connect with them in a sense of true deep equality and love. So we're here together to come into an experience together and for me that is the most important thing. We're not here to debate theology, we're not here to compare and contrast the course with the Bible or with the Gita or with the Quran. We're not here to compare and contrast different versions of the course. We're not here to compare and contrast pathways that are said to be parallel to the course. We're here to practice what has been given to us and by putting it into practice, by really giving our hearts over to it in a very devoted way to go into an experience of that direct connection with God. God can be reached directly but it also requires that we be devoted to that purpose. We be devoted to truly practicing forgiveness with everything that appears. Just in terms of suggestions, I would not suggest trying to mix and match pathways. Pathways themselves are not real but when you try to mix and match different terminology, different pathways, different pathways only seem to be different because they have different terminologies, different techniques, different practices but clearly if you've come and you really feel the course is your pathway I would wholeheartedly recommend that you give yourself over to Jesus and to the Holy Spirit wholeheartedly to use the course because when you try to make like a synthetic practice or a synthetic religion, it's almost like taking a Ferrari or a BMW or a Mercedes or a very fine, fine motor car and then as time goes on, you just think I'm just going to use replacement parts or replacement air filter, how they have the manufacturer's suggestion because the whole thing has been designed to function together very smoothly, coherently, harmoniously and when you start putting on a lot of replacement parts into that engine under that hood and everything, you seem to get problems because it wasn't designed really for replacements. We weren't really designed for this world as I said we were created in grace and Jesus says you will never be able to adapt or adjust to this world, you will never be able to adapt and adjust to time and space, why? God didn't create it, why you're a perfect holy innocent child of God and you're only happy in your natural environment and that is spirit, that is eternity. You want to find eternal happiness, you really want to find happiness at last, you have to go to the environment where the happiness is. The kingdom of heaven is within, but Christ is our identity in the kingdom of heaven. Christ has not left the kingdom of heaven. Of course the miracles is a pathway of bringing illusions to the truth. It doesn't want you to, there's nothing in the Course that says manifest, there's nothing in the Course that says that you should try to find the truth in the illusion, there's nothing in the Course that says bring God into this world and go around preaching God and talking about God and bringing God into your daily life. No, Jesus is saying what you perceive as your daily life is an illusion that is made up of beliefs and thoughts in your mind and you need to bring those beliefs and thoughts to the light within and they will disappear. But don't try to bring the light into the projection. This is a world of projection and the attempt, Jesus tells us that projection is the attempt to get rid of something that you do not want. Well, the only way that you can actually get rid of something that you do not want, if you finally get to the point where you say I do not want the ego, don't project the ego because that's not how you're gonna let it go, you have to forgive it. You have to reel in the projections. Yes, of course you'll be tempted to get upset with people. You'll be tempted to get upset with temperatures, with noises, with sounds, with animals, with pets. You'll be tempted many, many times to get upset with something on the screen of the world. Tempted to be upset with the images. Something's not right with this picture. The ego's always saying something's not right with the picture but it's always pointing to the picture and Jesus is saying no, I'm giving you a workbook that if you practice my workbook, it will train your mind to withdraw the projection. And when you start to realize I'm never upset for the reason I think and then when you start to realize I can be hurt by nothing but my thoughts, you will start to bring your attention back to your mind and that's exactly where the attention needs to be. Not on the people, not on the situations, not on the things, not on the political dramas, Brexit and saving the environment and going green and doing all these things that are very either popular or unpopular depending on your beliefs. But Jesus is saying no, you need to withdraw the projections and bring it back. Why do I have to do that? Because he's saying to forgive you first you have to realize that these are all thoughts and beliefs in your mind. You're not gonna be able to let it go as long as you're seeing it as outside of you. As long as you're seeing yourself as a person and all these things going wrong in this body and outside of this body, you're at the mercy of the ego. You have bought the ego's belief system, hook, line and sinker and you're sinking. You're a captive to the ego if you believe in the projection. But to the extent that you can withdraw the projection and just pay attention to your thoughts and just pay attention to your feelings and just pay attention to your beliefs, you are withdrawing the projection and you're bringing it back to your mind. Why is it so helpful? Why is that so absolutely helpful? Well, the ego made up this time-space cosmos to keep you mindless. It doesn't want to know that you even have a mind. You know, even in many scientists, they won't talk about the mind, they talk about the brain. But the brain's part of the body. The brain is a projection. You know those little neurotransmitters? That's not thinking, that's the projection of thought, those little neurotransmitters. That gray matter in there, that doesn't do any thinking. That gray matter is just gray matter. It's a projection of the mind. So remember when you look at this world that this world was made by the ego to keep you mindless. To keep you mindless. As any of you, when you were growing up, you know, you go to these classes, you go to science classes, you go to biology class, you learn all these things. A bunch of hogwash, I'll tell you. I can tell you, after 10 years of university, I now see that it was brainwashing, it was mindwashing. I was off on ego pursuits trying to learn the much to do about nothing until I finally saw it was much to do about nothing. But people will say, well, a mother's instincts or an animal's instincts, the body doesn't have instincts. The body's a projection, everything. Instincts are ego concepts projected onto the body. The reflex instinct. No, your body doesn't even have a reflex instinct. That's just another concept. The whole ego belief system is concepts projected onto a screen for one reason, to make you mindless, to forget about your mind. Why is it so important that the ego is telling you to forget about your mind? Because it wants you to forget about your thoughts. And why would you want to forget about your thoughts, except that somewhere deep down inside, you believe that you've separated from God and you've tried to rip your thoughts apart away from the creator and that you've had the power to miscreate and you've had the power to make a whole new kingdom other than the real kingdom. You see, the ego's got a big story going on in there. Like, you need to make sure you stand clear of God because it's saying God will kill you, will strike you blind. God will destroy you if you ever come back. That's the whole ego teaching. He goes saying, don't think you can just go back and get off scot-free. And the Holy Spirit is teaching, you never did what you thought you did. You could believe it, but you couldn't make it so. God isn't angry, God loves you. Jesus told the parable of the prodigal son over and over when he was on earth that even the son that seemed to squander his inheritance and was out feeding the pigs was welcome back, back home, come home, I love you so. That's the truth of it. We're being called home and welcomed home and the ego's got this big fearful puff of nothingness that's trying to convince us that we're guilty, that we've sinned, that God will kill us if we return. So these are the two thought systems that you're dealing with. One that's all pure love and the other one which is fear, guilt, sin, pain, suffering and basically telling you don't ever go close to God again because you're going to suffer. So why is all the attention on the world and outcomes of the world because if you keep focusing on outcomes of the world even basic things like I got the job or I got the partner, I got the child, I got the family, I got the house that I always wanted, I got a big screen TV in the house that I always wanted. These are just outcomes and the reason that the ego focuses on the outcomes because it doesn't want you to come in and discover that it's all happening in the mind. There, in lesson 132, Jesus says there is no world apart from what you think. That ideas leave not their source and everything that you're experiencing is an experience in mind, without exception. The quantum physicists who have been studying for decades, seven going in eight decades of quantum physics have been saying the same thing. There is no external world. There is no world apart from consciousness. Now Jesus of course says consciousness is the domain of the ego which is different than a lot of spiritualities but still he's focusing on the correction. He's still focusing on the forgiveness, on the unified field, on the unified awareness. Jesus even says you're not responsible for the error. You are responsible for accepting the correction of the error. How loving can you be? How loving can you be? Even when you get it back to your mind, he's gonna keep saying you're not responsible for the error. You're not responsible for the error at all. Here's the atonement. Our purpose is to accept the atonement. Your purpose is to do exactly what Jesus did and accept the atonement, accept the correction and it's in your thoughts. So what a great way to spend your life. I feel so joined and connected with you because I am joined with you in this journey to accepting the correction. I am joined with you in not buying debate of the opinions and the judgments and the conclusions of the world and say let's not take our holy mind and put our attention on the distracted device that was made to keep us mindless. Let's return to our beautiful holy mind. Let's return to our glory. Let's return to our innocence. Let's return to our true happiness because it's that important. We were created by love to be loving and we won't be content until we experience that love. We will always be looking for love in all the wrong places, looking for love in too many faces like the country song. So we're always gonna be looking in the wrong place unless we apply these teachings and apply these metaphysics. So that's my spiel for this morning. We do have seats for questions. We can take these beautiful teachings and metaphysics and apply them. In fact, Jesus wants us to take our seeming situations and issues of the world and to bring them to him and bring them to the light. And that's why we're here. We're here to join in that very holy purpose because we deserve that peace. We deserve that happiness. We don't need to be carrying burdens that we really have no business carrying anymore. So we have, do we have a microphone? There's the microphone, okay? Turn it on. We'll make sure it's on. There we go. And these are the seats here. So if you have a question or your heart is just about to burst open, please come and there's plenty of seats so you can just come as you're ready and have your opportunity to take the mic and ask your question or share. And then you can head back to your seat to leave another open one. Okay, we have, did you have a question? Or something? Hi, I'm Nina. Yesterday evening, you and Francis told us so when you have something and you feel maybe, well, frightened to share or you feel this in your body, I thought, oh no, this is not going to happen. I will be seated in here in between everyone and then this morning after the session with Neda, there happened something to me and well, afterwards I felt this feeling, this strong feeling. No, I'm not going to share this. I'm afraid, okay, then you have to go. I thought, okay, I'm going to be seated on the front row, so here I am. It happened afterwards after the session and well, I felt a lot of emotion during the session with the voice, with using the voice to give expression to what you feel deep inside. And afterwards, there came something about me that I really wanted to see and to love everyone over here, really to see everyone and it was such a strong feeling and I wanted to stand still here in this place and let this feeling come over me, but I also got so frightened, there was something, oh, I will be crushed if I let this happen. Well, I think it's this feeling that was, so I didn't allow it to feel all this love in, well, I didn't allow it to myself to feel it and I want to allow it, so that's why I'm sharing it now. Thank you, that's beautiful. It puts the momentum toward that when you share it, because you've made your declaration, you've made a public declaration, even when two people become married, the reason that they have like a marriage ceremony is because they want to declare their love and their devotion in front of their friends and family and we are your friends and family and we love you so dearly and we appreciate that you're really making that declaration because in some way, it's like a symbol of, this is important to me and I don't want to just hold it in or push it down, I want this to be known, I want this to come into my life, into my, into fruition, so thank you, thank you for that. We all join you in that prayer, thank you. Okay, yeah, that's working. I have a question about listening to your inner voice, following the Holy Spirit. As you know, it's fast one year ago that Monique and Rainier invited you for this retreat and you said yes and then the preparation starts and we have a lot of communication with the Living Miracle team and we noticed that there was a lot of difference in looking to things, to all kinds of things, important things like we thought they were important, like prizes, like the grace funds, like refundable and not refundable, all that kind of maybe important things but also small things like how do you devise a participant list in three pieces for a good registration and I'm convinced that we, both Living Miracle teams and Monique and I were following the Holy Spirit's lead and but we also feel quite uncomfortable often that we get, it looks like different answers so we had this sort of advanced opportunity to go beyond, again and again go beyond and look for unity and look for happiness and not to be right but when I'm honest I was quite relieved that two days ago we could handle the whole thing over to the Living Miracle team when you arrived here and my question is, it looks like there is a Dutch Holy Spirit and an American one or an international one maybe but that's of course absolute nonsense, we know so one of us or both of us did probably listen not quite well or maybe there's another opportunity that the Holy Spirit wants to give us an advanced chance for forgiveness, maybe I like to hear your opinion Beautiful, thank you Yeah, when you were describing it, I was thinking of a tennis metaphor of Roger Federer they formed recently the Lever Cup and the two sides on the Lever Cup was Europe and the rest of the world that's the teams but basically everything is for the opportunity of forgiveness and not only what you do comes from what you think but also how you feel, there is a point in the course where Jesus does say that the one right use of judgment is how do you feel when I saw that in there I thought that's important but one right use of judgment is how you feel what I saw from that was Jesus was saying your feelings are like your barometer your feelings tap us into what lies beneath and he does even go so far as to tell us that our feelings come from what we want what we believe and what we think that feelings are literally a byproduct of those things what we want, we believe and what we think and yet most of what the human being believes and thinks and oftentimes even feels and certainly desires is unconscious so to me when I look at collaborations whether it's a relationship, whether it's a marriage whether it's a collaboration to do an event it's a huge opportunity to get in touch with what is unconscious I was always interested having studied psychology I was quite fascinated with Carl Jung calling it the shadow fascinated with this unconscious and there was one point in my work with the course where I was saying I don't know how I feel like I've got so much buried and so much in my unconscious I have no idea how to even tap into that and Jesus said yeah that's my job I do, I know how and he would guide me to music stores to get certain kind of music to watch certain kind of films films that I can't even imagine watching like I remember one point Jesus guided me to watch this movie 7 with Brad Pitt and it was about the 7 deadly sins and it was so graphic and so gross and everything and I'm sitting there like oh my god and he's like yep this is, I'm doing my job here getting the roto router out here to get those clogged thoughts and beliefs and feelings up and of course that with Netta doing voice liberation that's another very helpful technique to get in touch with the unconscious feelings and what lies beneath some people use like breath work circular breathing is another technique some people use psychedelics you know ayahuasca and say that that's been effective and for those of us that have kind of been around we know that there are different ways of bringing it more to the surface that we may release it for me I always see these events as really just huge forgiveness opportunities I don't see them as like situations in and of themselves I see them more from a quantum perspective like wow everyone who participates that's the reason that they're here before I came over today to do this session I was part of another meeting and there was talk about food and movements of people for food and I just prayed I was just part of the meeting listening to the Holy Spirit because I want it to be the most efficient beautiful wonderful flowing experience that can be and so we had a discussion of praying about food and movements of people and so forth about oh we have a forecast of rain I don't want people coming in here dripping wet I want them to be here feeling comfortable and well settled and very receptive while they're listening last night we had a discussion brief discussion afterwards too about the sound and the best the equipment to use that would be the best and extraneous kind of sounds and things to make sure that it's the most high quality receptive experience so there is a lot of prayer that goes into these things and I do feel like this journey to really this inner listening is a very high calling but we do have the feelings as the barometer and when we join together whether it's in a relationship a marriage a collaboration there will be emotions that will come up and that's a good thing I think I feel like we have repressed emotions let them come to the surface and let's get at what's underneath them so we can forgive so for me I just feel such gratitude because as I mentioned whether it was that dinner with Kos and Doris and Monique whether it's the collaborations with you and Monique and the crew that have been doing all these logistical things that require a lot of care and attention I always feel underneath it's all for reaching a state of healing and forgiveness and I feel like that's what I've done is train my mind to see that purpose in everything so I'm not looking outward toward the the conclusion of thing or the outcomes but I'm feeling that joy and that happiness from forgiveness and then that just radiates out that's my job I really am hoping everybody starts to see that's our job you know we're here to be happy and to forgive but we have to be able to openly lay things on the table part of what I was talking about in the morning meeting today was speaking up you know so often we've been raised to kind of stuff feelings and to not talk about things openly to not put things on the table but to kind of just stuff them stymie them, push them down and then be the quiet strong type you know just hold it together meanwhile underneath there's all this stuff going on and it doesn't feel good and so that was part of my talk with the group this morning was like I want to encourage open expression with the purpose of forgiveness because that's the purpose it's not just saying some reason for any reason or for just because of saying it but it's because we can come down in a much faster way I think to the forgiveness so yeah that's something I've faced for like 33 years because when my early travels as I was going around to groups and whatever I would show up and they would start to use they would put a very interesting word in front of the Holy Spirit I always put the in front of the Holy Spirit and they were using the word my my Holy Spirit and I said this is the strangest thing I've ever heard what are you calling the Holy Spirit my Holy Spirit and then I heard your Holy Spirit and I was like hmm that sounds sounds kind of dualistic my Holy Spirit but yet this is the temptation of the ego even to divide the Holy Spirit up I've heard people do that with just about everything in this world even with Jesus I really it's kind of interesting to see multiple Jesuses some people say no it's Jesus of Palestine they say oh no that's not Jesus it's Jesus of Nazareth and then people say well do you know there's a Jesus of the Course and then there's a Jesus of the Bible and I'm like oh this is getting way too confusing for me I mean two Jesuses it's like well yeah they're different and I'm like oh no and Jesus is different too now it's like the the presence is asking us to see everything the same it's calling us into forgiveness and unified perception is not going to be focused on differences even with the Course in Miracles we have the first edition, the second edition the third edition, the fourth edition the fifth edition and people will ask me that why does Jesus have five editions I have people like I was in California a while back and they were telling me they said yeah they were telling me about the good old days back in the 70s and the Course groups and they said yeah we just had one book everybody could go to the same page you know turn to the text page 342 and everybody could turn nowadays I was talking to my friend he's a psychotherapist he facilitates a Course group in northern California and it takes so long because people all come with their own editions okay now turn to page so and so in the first edition page so and so in the second edition page so and so in the third and they can hardly get to the question of what's the question because they've got to get it takes ten minutes to get everybody on the same page and they were reminiscing like with nostalgia back oh I wish we could go back to those old days of the Course where we could actually get to the piece of Scripture and ask our question because we could actually find it without digging, digging the one thing that I'm noticing too is that this entire world is coming, springing from all of time and space brings from the belief that I can create myself and what's a follow-up belief from I can create myself I can do it better that's another version of I can create myself as I can do it better we have the first edition of the Course is that good enough to read, to practice to put into practical application to zoom into self-realization and enlightenment and then the third edition I can do it better and then the fourth edition I can do it better and then the fifth edition I can do it better and you notice that happens with human beings with relationships they have a marriage a relationship and then I think I can do better I think I can do better better better I think the practical application requires facing all types of uncomfortable feelings you mentioned there were uncomfortable feelings that's the parable of David it's like ok here we go another way where did you come from all the unconscious that's right I asked there's one place where Jesus actually gave another word for the unconscious mind and he called it very fascinating to me he called it unconscious mind and I thought wow that is cool unconscious, unwatched unaware and if this character in the surface the stream figure seems to be at the mercy of these unconscious beliefs and thoughts if everything this body thinks and says and does is all part of a prearranged plan that's all acting out unconscious beliefs then I better get in touch with that unconscious because I need to be aware how can I be happy if I'm not even aware of what's going on I like it in the course too where Jesus says you don't know how you got here even if we say we don't know how we seem to get here we put the seem to word we don't know how we seem to get here it still comes down to that thing because Jesus is really telling us because if you knew you wouldn't have the question and you wouldn't perceive yourself as you perceive yourself now if you knew but this whole idea of separation has been pushed out of awareness the whole idea of how the mind works has been pushed out of awareness and Jesus says your great need is instruction in perception I like that he's like the master psychologist who's telling us you really have a strong need of learning about how the mind works in perception only that you can come then to a decision to see that you never separated to see that the separation never happened that's just the inroads to take you to that and so I always appreciated I did get little bits and pieces where people would say this is what they feel and they strongly feel this and strongly believe and so I could hear the sprinkling of different things and still I trust so much in the Holy Spirit that I think well I'm going to show up at the ball I'm going to have joy and have fun and I'm going to trust Holy Spirit is going to arrange things also I think it helps that when I traveled around the world for these 44 countries that's really how it started for me was I would meet somebody and somebody would offer me like air tickets or they would say to me to go to South America you need to go to Argentina have you ever been there I'd say no do you speak the language no and yet it would be like a little plant and then all of a sudden somebody I see in a park says he had entered a South America airline contest and he won the grand prize of frequent flyer miles I say really and he said yeah I want a million frequent flyer miles well that's got my attention and then he's saying you should go to Argentina and then he's saying he's got a million frequent flyer miles and then he's saying I want to fly you and you pick three other people I'll fly all four of you Executive First Class I'm game you know you see this is how the guidance works it just makes it possible Jesus is not going to give you a goal of atonement without giving you the means to reach the goal and when I say means it comes down to barns like this to flying first class I was not a first class flyer I didn't even fly that much much less ever fly that in Argentina and they're serving me wine and I'm thinking I better really get out of the driver's seat here this is pretty spectacular it just went it went on and on and on for decade after decade of Jesus arranging time and space as he said he would if you will be a miracle worker for me I will arrange time and space for you airline tickets barns angels staying with people it's so unhuman we're not raised to think that we have some kind of spirit or guardian angel that's going to arrange our travel I mean it's one thing to trust the Holy Spirit please give me guidance but actually to arrange the aspects of time and space so that I can propose for a greater purpose to me that's been the most convincing is that things work out so I did trust that this would work out and and I did trust that if it was meant to be for forgiveness you would ask the question in the session and there you come right out of the box the first question so thank you thank you for doing that for everyone for doing that yes okay thank you David things we met in 2016 I think as a group you could thank you and Kristen and Francis for sharing your guidance for all those years I have one practical question reading your new website I came across mentioning church ministries and reading further down I read the word church and you even listened as senior pastor kirsten executive pastor very very interesting and even Seema Ganesha as delegated reverend is it going to be a kind of church or whatever could you please expand you know the discussion about churches about medical churches Monro could you please expand so that we do not misunderstand this yes that whole church symbol actually came in many many years ago when kirsten had come over from New Zealand to the United States and initially we had no church there's no church symbol we were not using that word at all I would probably as I'm traveling around as a mystic teaching around the world talk about the church within you know that state of devotion reverence but not a church in terms of an organization not the church in terms of of roles and positions and so forth initially when I was teaching back in the 1990s one of my students came to me around I think 1998 maybe in the beginning of 1999 and I was just happily going my way shining my light and going wherever I would go and his name was Thomas he came to me and he said you're going to be traveling all over the world and you're going to be speaking to many people and reaching many people it was almost like a prophecy of the things that come I said well really I because I don't think about those things and he said in terms of people wanting to support your mission and so forth people may want to donate money and this is a world where money is watched unlike the unconscious mind which the unwashed mind the movement of money in terms of money laundering in terms of taxation in terms of practicality he was basically saying he had very strong guidance to set up a non-profit organization and so I said well you feel I said but who will be the director and he said I will be the director not me but him he would be the director he would do it for to assist in the purpose of sharing this message around the world I said okay and that's fine so then as soon as you set up a non-profit organization you have interactions with the government because these are legal entities you know anybody knows a non-profit organization it's a legal entity you have to have bylaws you have to have articles of incorporation you have to have trustees and or board members secretaries, directors, presidents all that stuff and so he set the whole thing up and he said the government of the United States is called IRS internal revenue service they have some questions that need to be answered and one thing that they wanted way back then from the 90s was what are some of the things that you produce or what do you do what do you produce and so I said well just send them in a copy of the first edition of movie watchers guide to enlightenment this is where it gets interesting you send the government the movie watchers guide to enlightenment what comes back from the government was a whole list of questions the questions was what does one person's opinions about movies have to do with spiritual awakening this is from the government so I had to pray and write if you're going to go through this because after about a year or so he said I'm stepping down as a director he said to me you're the director now I'm like oh boy here we go you know I've been in other countries like in China I was over in China one time and I'm going through the airport in Beijing and I keep seeing this man's poster all over the place as I'm walking around I'm like who is this guy and they said oh he's one of the most powerful men in China he has very powerful nonprofit organization over here in China does many work to help many many people I said really fascinating I end up getting invited by this guy to meet his daughter and his wife and everything and he was having dinner and he looks over and he says would you be on my nonprofit board when I'm in China in Beijing and I'm saying oh please I've got enough of those symbols so anyway fast forward this this original foundation foundation for the awakening mind no mention of church talk about forgiveness a course of miracles awakening all that stuff in the bylaws we're using that as a symbol because Kirsten has come across and in order for her to stay in the United States during the very very beginnings back in the mid-2000s she had to have a legal way to stay not like St. Francis where they're all Italians you know they all come let's move out of Assisi let's move down to this broken down church and let's devote our lives to restoring this church and repairing it and living devotional lives for God they're all Italians and then here comes Claire now she's a woman they got men they're all still Italians and they didn't have visa questions or immigration questions it just wasn't you know back in that story it wasn't part of that parable but there was a point where Kirsten received a notice that that in order to have her it's called an R1 religious visa it was with the foundation it had nothing to do with churches if we had that renewed we would have to come into the immigration office so Kirsten had to go in there for an interview and then I had to go in there because remember I got put in as the director so now I'm in this immigration office and I'm sitting down to do this immigration interview because Kirsten's wanting to get her religious visa renewed and the woman just smiles at me this is the government and she looks at me and she slides across to me of Marianne Williamson and she says to me a question this is the first question from the government not about the movie watchers guide and this is years later is this your guru and I said no she's not my guru but she has shared a lot about a course of miracles on Oprah Winfrey and she's popularized a course of miracles and the government official said I know and therefore all the questions came in the end Kirsten was denied her religious visa for whatever you know course of miracles can seem a little out of the box as far as for government officials and so forth and so Kirsten was told you need to leave the country immediately immediately and she came over to Ireland and her mother was there and they had a gathering and it was part of it just flowing with the symbols then there was a point we had a discussion where we all prayed we had prayed right before she left about that and Kirsten heard in her mind that Jesus said you need to have the church you need to use the church symbol again it's just a neutral symbol like all the other ones but it was given as a guidance and at that time she turned over to Jason and Jason was like I'm not hearing that church I'm not hearing that at all so we had to keep praying with it and I would have to say that that symbol was brought in and it has been used to kind of open doors even though they're all just symbols it's just been used so this is not something that was done again with an intention to establish anything I am full aware like you are of the history of churches and certainly in Europe it goes way way way back and church and state issues and all those kind of things I'm very well aware of those things but it was just a symbol almost like you're aware to wear a jacket or a sweater it's just a symbol wear it lightly and Jesus saying let me use it it will be beneficial to your mind's awakening if it's used by me if you start to take it as a real thing and you start to make it real in any way that's making the error real because you can't bring spirit into form you can't organize spirit can't be organized and he even says that in the workbook in lesson 135 you can't activate the past organize the present or plan the future in order to stay in this beautiful state of awareness of connectivity so you saw that as a website that website probably has been around for a while it's not a symbol that comes into use a lot certainly on our world travels and our journeys around the symbol has come into play occasionally it could get you into visit a prisoner in terms of into a prison sometimes they don't want any old ordinary citizen walking into a maximum security prison or whatever it's kind of like a little key that can open some doors occasionally in a helpful way like the airline tickets and everything else but it's definitely not something that we hold as an identity and if people ask me about that I always come back to it's what's in your mind and what's in your heart spirituality cannot be organized it can be experienced but it can't be organized in fact you lose the experience if you buy into the organization thank you very much last question I've been in China after you and I had a book the first translation and I don't speak Chinese because I'm a Chinese Prorab in Indonesia so at last I Chigong Master which was very very informed and very very low ego minded could you please let us know when you're visiting China again I would love to join if you could thank you I will it's been a beautiful going there and actually there were almost like two different versions that were spoken about of a different kind of different kind of languaging with the course even there and there was like an official translation and there was another one with it was a different type so even with that we're very curious we just go there we meet people we join we listen and it's all about extending and the joy so make sure I have your contact details we do have invitations over there Francis has been getting some invitations from China is that visit with the house church organization at the underground or is it just the official one because I was invited for the forbidden house churches last minute you know I because I knew I was followed so you know it's for their safety sometimes you know to be very very low profile in contacting them are you contacting them or is it another group or own group well this was a group that we met the very first visit and the organizers name is Binbin and she actually has quite a following of students that have been with her for many many years so it goes all the way back to her original contact but I have had so much fun there because a lot of the groups that I went to were kind of hidden groups they weren't public at all and then one time I did a whole tour through Hainan and Shanghai and Beijing and then when I got to Beijing I was to do a big talk at a hotel and the night before the talk probably around 10 30 11 o'clock at night the organizer came to me and said we think we should cancel the talk and this was a big talk with a big hotel with many people and the organizer said actually there has been some things moving around a bit where they have been starting to to associate a course in miracles Ho, O'Pono, O'Pono and Osho's work together in particular Osho's work the government and the society the sexual things that were part of the teachings of Osho were directly against traditional Chinese values so the course in miracles Osho and Ho, O'Pono, O'Pono were being lumped together as a threat as a threat so they said we feel like if you do this talk I think it was on a Saturday at this hotel that you may be detained by the government and they may detain you they have arrested the teacher Osho who was teaching Osho's and they were very concerned to me doing a talk at a hotel or meditating is really the same to me because I just see everything is the same so I did say to the organizer well, if you really feel you've organized in the whole event imagine canceling an event like this the organizer was then saying I think we need to move you from this hotel immediately I said now do it now yes, we want you and your whole group we'll move you to another hotel and we're going to cancel the whole event and then they said that leaves an open day for you tomorrow what would you like to do? I said I'd like to meditate with everybody can we get a group to meditate together that would be cool they said we have the largest indoor hot tub and spa in the world here in Beijing there's trees inside there spa with trees there's a restaurant that's perfect, get a big group so they got like 15, 18 people and we went and meditated in the hot pools instead of doing a big talk at a hotel absolutely delightful I have no preference in terms of the way the script is written or in terms of the way that it plays out but I do feel I love the sharing of the love and the connectedness and we had so much fun meditating eating wonderful food and curling up sitting under the trees all indoors so it just turned into a wonderful experience but that's what I mean by being so flexible that even a cancelling of an entire event and moving hotels was fine with me I'm just happy to float along like a twig in the river and yeah, worked out thank you, thank you for bringing that up that is beautiful okay do we have any more questions we've got a whole row over here yes hi I wanted to lift up something that has been coming again and again in my mind about what the ego would love to call the unforgivable like every crime or sin or whatever you want to call it like people committing murder or rape or any like the really violent and yeah, you talked about the movie 7 that was kind of yeah, interesting that with those things that the ego keeps coming with like that card but this could not be something that you forgive I mean you can go on with your cross and miracle stuff all day but when it comes down to these things you cannot be sure that these things are also forgivable so and I'm really feeling that this is kind of holding me back because I don't I can't walk past that I hit this spot where the ego throws this in and I'm like yeah, I really feel those things are dreadful and I can't like break through those I can't see them really in a different light and yeah so I'm just asking you to speak about that and maybe see if I can yeah, get a new way to look at those things so that won't be like a wall anymore. Oh, beautiful, thank you Leni. It's actually Neda sent to me a movie before I came here and she had met I think the director of it also the director of the secret they put together this movie called the power of was it the heart power of the heart and then she mentioned she I said I'm starting I'll get watch it a little bit here and then she said no go to like the 36 minute point because that's the point that really is the most impactful out of the movie. And so I got Francis and Kirsten and I said that is told us I'm willing to watch the whole thing they said you want to watch the beginning is yeah I'll watch the beginning again I like so we went there and then we watched that part and the part that Neda had pointed out was a beautiful little segment in there about the genocide in Rwanda where over a million people were killed not just killed but with machetes were sliced up with blood everywhere and the politics and the tribe but it was beautiful because the woman in there had gone with a group of women and a couple children and a pester had come and brought them into this tiny little shower where they all huddled and they thought they'd be in there maybe for hours but it went on for a long long time weeks they were actually in there and they couldn't even turn the shower on without they had to wait till a toilet flushed at another bathroom in the house and it was a very extreme facing the anger facing the perception of having her literally her whole family her brother her parents the whole family was basically slaughtered while she was in this little shower and facing all the emotions in a very tight tiny space but that segment was so powerful because what it did was it brought her into her emotions in a very direct way and it also brought her to face her thoughts her own rage thoughts her thoughts of murder of revenge she had to face it like so right in front of her it brought everything up and so there was another point when another group of men with machetes had come around and she was talking to the pester and basically she heard very clearly in her mind there was a big mess outside of where the door was that the pester closed the door to the shower moved the cabinet in front of that door so that these men would not find these group of women and children and then when the men came with their machetes she could even hear them calling her name and looking for her and everything but because she followed that guidance they did make it through and at one point then she did even get to go into the prison because the man was arrested and it was so powerful because she got to face the man who had killed her family and he couldn't really maintain much of an eye contact with her and yet she had known the man it was a teacher of hers when she was younger but the whole segment is a very very much of really what you're asking for you're asking for the ego is running a number on me because of the extreme things like all you know you can't do this to listen to this woman witness all that she went through the transformations and to go in to meet the man and to offer forgiveness which even brought up anger and rage and the man that had brought her in to even allow her to do this you know he thought she would he gave her a club to beat the man and she forgave the man instead and that brought up rage and the man who brought the club it was a beautiful beautiful segment thank you so much Netta for showing that but I feel that whether we do it as a group or whether we are able to watch that segment that would be a very healing way because it shows the value of forgiveness that she so much didn't want to carry this anger with her for her peace of mind for her connection with God and it brought that part in which the ego never goes there it never tells you the benefits of forgiving it just tries to ridicule the mind that way and also I also watched another show I believe it was on Netflix called kindness diaries where the man was going down from Alaska all the way down to South America Argentina with his Volkswagen Beetle little Volkswagen Beetle and having all these encounters and he did meet a woman who had been to Rwanda and who had been a lawyer who was astounded because she came there sometime after the massacres and to see some of the people were so bright eyed and so happy she could not fathom how a million people could be murdered and how these people could have such joy she just was struck by the joy on the faces of these people and she asked them what is it how can you be happy in the face of the genocide it just occurred and they said the same thing I had to forgive in order to establish my connection with God with love that they could see it was their own unforgiveness it was blocking them from feeling the happiness and joy and so they did the most sensible thing for them was to forgive but just for this lawyer who came from another country who was visiting she was astounded that they were capable even of that and I think with you studying the course you know you're just getting the how it's just coming in in a very very clear way but I think what you just need is a few more of these kind of examples that show you the forgiveness kind of acted out and witnessed to and I think that will be the thing that will help it pop in your mind beautiful Hi David I constantly hear a voice telling me it is so unimportant what you want to share so you better stop it but I won't because I want to heal I worked with your latest book and it moved me very much especially the chapter on healing and I ask the Holy Spirit what is it in my mind that my body gives me so much experiences of pain and then last week things steadily came up with memories from the past and I saw that my whole life I always had to do the best I could even with a course which I started 12 years ago and even with your book so there is so much tension in my mind and also in my in my body and I don't want it anymore so this morning I was sitting next to a human angel and we had a short talk and she said to me Jesus loves you and it moved me so much so I know what I have to just I don't want the same me as I was before but I don't know yet what is the new me so I feel helpless and I never allowed myself to be helpless I always was strong I knew the best I was the leader and I'm exhausted by that that attitude so I'm constantly asking for help and there are so many helpful people here around me so many angels so I'm so happy to be here thank you thank you that's so beautiful that you see the opportunity to just allow the love allow yourself to be loved to wash away this kind of belief that I have to be the strong one and I have to hold it together and it can be such a deeply ingrained belief that that anything like breaking down or crying or showing emotions can be associated with weakness when actually that's very much a part of the process almost like cracking open to be loved to be allowing ourselves to be loved to be helped and I feel like that's one of the great advantages of this kind of gathering when I first started going to gatherings too many many years ago even before the course I felt this strong call one time to go to a it was association of humanistic psychology the same organization where I I came across the course out in California but and I just there were so many experiential exercises there was so many people just coming up and with so much love in their hearts and in their eyes and just could feel almost like a shield going up in my mind like oh my god this is too much this is overwhelming but that's we have to allow that and we have to allow ourselves to be loved and nurtured and so you're not here by accident you're here to express like you did and really the prayer of your heart is to just welcome it and to give yourself a whole week too is a very beautiful spacious opportunity so I'm so grateful that you shared that thank you I'm not quite sure how to put the words on it but I'll try all the talk about experience I realized that the couple of weeks before coming here I really stressed myself kind of in order to get everything ready so I could come here and and relax and kind of some kind of expectations too that how it should be so with your talk yesterday and today too I really looked at it and can oh what what really is going on like all the time in the background is something like I can really I feel that I can see the patterns I can see what I'm doing to myself and I can really feel that it's not nice and it doesn't feel good and it's kind of I think the difficult part is for me to just to let it all go and accept things as they are and to to ask for help but the expectations is really kind of big it's so beautiful that you can share that because we can see that the investment in the make-believe and the ambitious self has been a big investment it's been so much effort put into the building and the maintaining of the mask it's a heavy mask and it takes a lot of maintenance and it takes a lot of work to prop it up to keep it thick to keep it strong and in maintaining the mask there's like a heartbreak of wow does it really have to be this way is there nothing else I can do or is there no other way to be except this accustomed repetitive heavily armored mask and I think once you start to gain a little hint a little clue that there is another way and you start to let me use the word responsibility you start to realize that there's so much responsibility projected on to this body and this world that it's very heavy in fact Jesus at one point says the world is very tired it's like this tired, weary repetition of projected responsibility and I put plural, projected responsibilities that that was part of the stress that you felt for the last couple weeks of even giving yourself permission to come that you had to almost feed this dragon feed this responsibilities monster and show that you were dutiful and obedient and make sure that it was responsibilities monster was well fed before you went off to frolic and dance and play and be happy in your spiritual week for me that was a major teaching of the course was was Jesus saying in two different places once the soul responsibility of the miracle worker is to accept the atonement for himself in other place the soul responsible of the teacher of God is to accept this correction accept the atonement for himself and that is a total reversal of the thinking the programming of everything that we've had from a baby on it's in the mind but it just plays out in the whole human development take responsibility take responsibility we have to take responsibility for the body when you become a fully functioning adult you take responsibility for that if you have children you have to take responsibility for children if you have a house you have to take responsibility for maintaining and cleaning the house and if you have a garden you have to maintain the garden if you have a lawn even around that house. You have to mow the grass. It's like a world of false responsibilities that just the mind gets heavier and heavier and heavier. It's more like a zombie, like the walking dead, where you have no energy left because you've got to keep handling all these spinning plates. If you don't spin all the plates, you don't run around spinning the plates, the plates will fall off the pole and will crash and your whole world will come crashing down. So coming here is a great stride of starting to realize that your state of mind is important, that your peace of mind is extremely important and so much of the 33 years with the course and my travels around the world has been going and being invited into homes where we sat at the kitchen table, we sat at the living room, we sat and talked and people unburdened themselves saying, my life is so heavy and so stressed. Can you please join with me and me joining with them in encouragement for their inward journey, how they're doing it for the whole universe, how they're not really letting people down by devoting their life to forgiveness, they're actually, if the inner selves of these people could talk, they would be cheering you on, go for it, please set all the captives free, please, all the heroes' journeys of do the inner work to free the whole universe of this burdensome egoic belief system. So it's just so beautiful that you can come forward and just speak it up because like the first woman who spoke right there in the same chair, it was like a declaration of, I am worthless, I am worthy of forgiveness. And as Jesus says, it is the privilege of the forgiven to forgive. Once we take Jesus' course, we start to come in contact with, oh my gosh, the forgiveness is joyful, it's light, it's laughter, there's happiness with it. And when we give ourselves over to that state of mind, it is our honor, it is our privilege to radiate that love and light and extend that to set all the captives free. And that's what you're doing, this is part of your miracle worker training to really allow yourself to come here and immerse in this. And then I know for myself, I've had people that have written me emails and letters, just hundreds and thousands of referring back to, oh I met you back in such and such a year, my life has never been the same. Thank you so much for this book or this YouTube video or the light bulb went off in my mind when I saw this thing, but I get a lot of witnesses to that of just me being steadfast and having the faith to go for this as like a devotion in life's calling. The witnesses just come flooding in, they just come on and on like waves of witnesses, you made the right choice, you went the right direction. Even people who had, the last time I saw them, they had kind of stormed off, they'll write me a year later saying, I don't know what I was thinking, thank you so much. Even the witnesses just turn, turn, turn toward the light and you're doing it, you're doing it for the whole universe. So thank you. I offer the gratitude, the blessings. Jesus is so, so grateful for your willingness, so grateful, beautiful. Well we still have time here, we're rolling along. Hi David. Hi there. I've just spent the last month with Sarah and the beginning of September, she came up to the west coast of Canada and I invited her into my home and we, we both thought I was hosting her for gatherings and watching a few movies, having fun. And what seemed to happen was that we, or I stumbled across a trip wire for myself and we recognized that Spirit had brought her in as the answer to a very deep prayer that I had communicated with Jesus with Holy Spirit a month or so before of asking, is there a faster way to do this? The healing, I felt very devoted but it seemed quite arduous and so I asked for clarity and prayed for a faster way. So Sarah appeared on the scene and something happened that caused the exposure of all my desires to remain entangled in my mind, the desire to maintain my old way of being, my little life, my comfort, the desire to do healing my own way, uncovered the belief in hurt and spite and where I had been complicit throughout my life and I got to see, get a glimpse of all the dynamics that I had been creating in my life and it really seemed to turn me upside down and I'm so grateful for all of the support that swept in in the form of Sarah and Chris who's traveling with her and she basically walked me, you know, took me by the hand and over the last four weeks to get me here. So I trust I'm in the right place because of the glimpse of what I've seen in my mind and seemed to experience where I can be co-opted. I have a fear so it's like I'm feeling right now like I don't know whether I'm coming or going and I don't know how to relate anymore to people and I'm afraid to go back, I'm afraid of sliding back into my old way of being. I've also got a lot of fear about what and I know that's that's ego because it's past and fear of the past and future but I'm just expressing that I have a fear of now what things are going to look like and the and I know this this is on the surface. My the biggest fear that keeps coming up to distract me so I'm just expressing that here is that the fear of sacrifice, of loss, abandonment, of my special relationships especially with my daughters and Sarah and I talked about handing over the desires and asking the holy spirit to repurpose everything the desires their relationships and so I guess I'm expressing that here but also moment to moment I guess my question is moment to moment as the the fears keep coming up what do I do with those is it just moment to moment noticing the thoughts and recognizing that those desires are still in operation and choosing the peace of God in that moment do I just kind of ignore them say no to them and then carry on yeah I guess I'm still sort of allowing some distraction. Beautiful well thank you for exposing that and sharing that I remember these kind of questions and this feeling like I was kind of not coming or going like I was kind of some kind of a big in between in the healing and the transformation very disorienting very confusing and when I've met people along the journey that have come to me and shared what you shared what consistently comes out is this is that expansion of that faith I was talking about last night where we really say to the spirit you know I'm I'm really giving this to you to lead and guide me I'm not going to try to to even figure this out these these shifting emotions and I'm not going to try to play the psychologist and and personally try to think that I know the way or I can find the way but this is where you put it really put it on the holy spirit in Jesus and say I give up I mean I am not going to be in the driver's seat I am going to slide over to the passenger seat I'm going to invite you in to get behind the wheel I guess a song Jesus take the wheel a country song in the United States I'm really going to to to move over from from that position of trying to manage and control is that self personal responsibility thing that's so deeply deeply ingrained and like for example with your daughters and the special relationships those are some of my biggest concerns at the beginning when I just began traveling and I would have thoughts of my family my grandmother all these different ones that would come to mind and Jesus would say that's why I'm showing you I'm going to show you the miracles I'm going to bring in all types of holy encounters we're going to fill up the painting we're not it's not taking away the ego always portrays the losing of special relationships as a major loss and huge grief and Jesus would say I'm not going to take your grandmother away and take your family away I'm going to fill in the picture with so many beloveds I'm just going to light the light your picture up so much I want you to fall in love with everyone including them the ones that you're afraid to lose I want this to be an expansive thing so it's not a takeaway it's a it's like let me open my heart to experience the the love and I had that happen even with with people that would travel with me they would have those fears of loss and abandonment and then as we would go around and share the miracles and share the joy at talks and gatherings the very ones that they were afraid to lose would come in different forms sometimes as children as dogs as cats as parrots you know they they were very aware that they were being loved but the form had shifted a little bit just allowing them to start to feel to let the love in because the belief is that love is limited and somehow that we can lose the ones that we love it's got to be the most heartbreaking ego belief the belief that you could lose the ones that you love whereas when we start to open up to this calling this function this expansion and perception and in awareness it's more like we can be shown that we had it all wired too small that we we really didn't understand what love was you know it's get very humbling when it starts to just come more and more to us into awareness and we think oh my gosh what was I thinking how could I possibly have believed this but we need experiences and when you were talking at the beginning it reminds me of that part in the course where Jesus is saying that prisoners who've long been held in chains and long been held in darkness do not simply rise up once the light appears it's just too big of a contrast it's almost like being in a movie theater for two hours and watching a movie and going out the emergency exit on a brilliantly sunny day and going oh it hurts my eyes because the eyes have been so accustomed to the darkness that the the blazing light is just too overwhelming it's just too much and so most are given a gradual opening a gradual curriculum and coming to the light and coming to forgiveness so that it it it can be accepted something that's too much too overwhelming you know must must hold off until until the readiness is there until the welcome is there so those weeks with Sarah just for you to allow yourself that was almost like you giving yourself permission to face some things that were very hidden that were very pushed out of awareness and then coming here and giving yourself a whole week among all these beloveds and just staying with the prayer of orchestrate my week who whoever I'm to meet that can that I can offer a blessing to that can bless me orchestrate that wherever I'm to sit for breakfast or lunch or dinner you lead the way you throw it on Jesus and the Holy Spirit you say I cannot handle this but you are here and it's yours if you want to do something with that responsibility throw it at Jesus throw it at the Holy Spirit and say sorry to be a bother but I'm going to unburden myself and give you a direct upload of all my worries and concerns because that's actually what Jesus and the Holy Spirit want bring me your burdens bring me your worries bring me your concerns bring me your fears you've just discovered some major fears that you were bring them to me lay them at my feet unburden yourself you know you can think of this as like a playful week to come and you're going to be splish splashing around among your beloveds and opening your heart just to receive all the nurturing that you really are calling for and that you are so worthy of you know this it's been heavy to carry this and now it's the journey gets lighter as you open up and do what you're doing right now you've just come up and you've just kind of shared it which is declaration of I am in an in-between state here I feel fragile I feel like I don't even know how to relate to people so that's your prayer you're offering up be kind with me please be sweet with me I'm very fragile and everybody is feeling that too we know how that feels and we love to offer the place of loving accepting presence when somebody is is in a fragile turn making a fragile turn so thank you yeah thank you yeah I'm I'm going for it and so I'm opening up to the playfulness the fun the the joy to have that flood in and you mentioned the splish splash when I got on the plane the first plane to get here I opened up the in-flight magazine and there was a picture of a joyful little girl having come down a water slide with her arms up and smiling and I thought yes that's that's me that's what I want so yeah yeah yeah thank you well you're in for it I can just I'm not going to say the movie but tonight we're all going for a major heart-opening movie we're going to go in it together and boom so yeah great stuff is coming thank you hello David thank you very much I am I feel my question has been answered already and the reason for me to be sitting here is also done but I would take the opportunity I also when I was on my flight from the window rainbows are very important to me and I saw for two minutes round shape light with the colors of the rainbow right in front in the cloud in front of me and I know I knew it was something special and many other things in this just couple of days have passed as well but I had this morning I could feel my mind so at peace and so focused and I was wondering in my meditation how am I going to go back on Monday next Monday to work because it feels so much more active and the life and I was sitting at breakfast also I guess with another angel and she gave me the answer she said just handed it to handed it to Christ why do you have to do it I said of course again I forgot but my question is about what you mentioned that we have to put for number one the course of miracles really how far do you I mean what in practical terms do you mean with that because I think I've seen on YouTube you mentioned it that it's just not possible to have like this spiritual life and because I would love to have like a partner and I have a job at the moment so so and I know I've been a nun in past lives and I'm very connected to Jesus very much so that's in a way easy to me but so this but what do you mean that it's not possible to have both sides I mean do you do we have to go I guess the answer is different for everybody but do you mean how much do I have to renounce I mean that's the question yeah but I think once you start to realize that that how powerful the mind is and how the world and all of its grievances and judgments and attachments has come from the ego and you start to realize wow I I want that raised up into awareness so I can let go of that of feeding that of investing in that but you have a dream there and the dream symbols will be used by the spirit to unwind you from the sense of of heaviness of obligation of duty of guilt you know the the spirit will use the dream symbols and it's not going to come and rip the dream away it's going to come and and say here this is for you this is the next step you know it's not saying like in in terms of renunciation Jesus does mention that the word renounce he mentions that in the workbook where he says many have tried to renounce the world while still believing in it so we could say with many convents and monasteries people you know go in to be the bride of christ and maybe at 12 or 14 or 16 sometimes very young they lose their whole adolescence as they go in to follow these rules these rituals to take these vows to marry jesus and so on and so forth but in the mind as long as the belief system is still there as long as there still are things that are still wanted and desired but are just suppressed and pushed out of awareness they're still there you know the guilt remains and so what you're really doing is you're you're handing over the world which was made by the ego as a distractive device and as a way to get lost and you're saying it's time to be repurposed you know I I am going to have some fun with this repurposing I am going to allow jesus and holy spirit to use what I still believe in as part of the unwinding so for me and like instead of learning yoga learning tai chi learning different kinds of of movement exercises or so forth I I enjoyed sports so yeah instead of tai chi it was golf instead of of other things it was a basketball a baseball I mean the spirit used the things that were still part of the ego belief system the things that I still was drawn to in this world and instead of trying to send me off to renounce renounce all of this and now I want you to do that it was more like here I'll show you to to perceive the golf in a new way as a mind training device just like yoga it can be used as a body identification and an idol or it can be used as a way of training the mind to come back you know into alignment so that undercuts this whole ego belief in relinquishment even lessons workbook lessons 128 and 129 128 is the world I see holds nothing that I want sounds very much like a relinquishment lesson but it's followed up with 129 beyond this world is a world I want so there's the negation followed by and this is something that's even better than the world that you perceive to reach that the spirit and Jesus are so wise that they can use aspects of the ego belief system that you're drawn to like the rainbows and the colors of the rainbow and like Pocahontas learn teach you to paint with all the colors of the wind you know it will it will take what you are drawn to and it will use it in a way where you just in the end end up with a big smile on your face instead of a woe is me kind of a relinquishment pathway it's you are used in more and more ways that open your heart until you just end up with a big smile on your face and you go what a ride like wow I didn't even anticipate that so that's the blessing that that is for you yeah thank you very much well I think the only purpose for me was to sit here because the previous ones asked the most questions I had a question I really want to follow the guidance of the Holy Spirit that's what the course miracles means to me and that's also the core of my religious belief I had before so it combines but I thought it will not be like you or Francis or Kirsten that I have to leave my home and my husband and my children and my grandchildren so but what you said just a moment you expand your love so that's my answer now I take that was me but I have another question I am I really feel I just have to live the joy that that's my purpose in life nothing more just joy and every time I am choosing that I stopped my job a few months ago something happened one of the eldest daughter is getting divorced so she is coming in my home with our granddaughter which I love but then I think this is strange every time I think now I am going to enjoy walking painting doing what I like something happens and at the core I think I'm afraid to be very egoistic when I'm just having when I'm just joyful and yes I want to share that yeah I think I think that's a very high and actually it's helpful and it's a noble pursuit it reminds me of Joseph Campbell's follow your bliss very much follow your joy and there is a part in the course where Jesus says that your mind is so deluded and so confused and so upside down that you cannot tell the difference between pain and joy he says and to me that's striking you know it's it isn't a front to the to the mask like well maybe you say that but you know I'm not that bad off I can tell the difference between pain and joy because that would certainly be important if if you're going to dedicate your life to following joy and you can't tell the difference between pain and joy then that would be something to explore that would fit right in with your path like well yeah that's important I need I do need to be discerning to know the difference if I'm going to pursue one and I'm going to be guided by the joy and drawn by it the good part of it is is is that in the course of miracles Jesus says the Holy Spirit needs happy learners and that is in perfect alignment with your your pathway of joy the Holy Spirit needs happy learners in other words if I've learned the ego belief system and not only learned it but I've over learned a tragic belief system that I've actually we'll say not for just a few years maybe for millennium I've over learned a very dark belief system there's no wonder the Holy Spirit needs happy learners because it must be if heaven is perfect happiness if God's will for me is perfect happiness that even as I approach heaven it's going to be pretty joyful and happy maybe it's not perfect happiness but it's going to get happier and happier and happier and you don't reach heaven through death and you don't reach heaven through pain and you don't reach heaven through being uncomfortable you you reach heaven by going through the happy dream and and then we have to look at that okay that sounds good too intuitively that sounds right that I wouldn't go from nightmares to absolute bliss that there must be a stage that I go through from nightmares to pure joy and that joy is the happy dream and the happy dream is simply a dream of non-judgment which I was talking about earlier not that you've stopped judging but you just followed your experiences to the point that you opened your heart up so much that you finally found yourself in a state of mind that couldn't judge not that it even had stopped because that's not even there it's just it's it's seen as attack is impossible judgment is impossible that's the state and that does take the guidance of the Holy Spirit to take us into that where we have to pray with every seeming situation even the situation with your your daughter a granddaughter in the house and there's things that you enjoy and everything but it just means that the you're really praying for that prayer of the heart let me let me be led into the joy let me experience the full gratitude and the appreciation and you also know that if if your daughter your granddaughter what's happening inside your house seems to rub you the wrong way that something is getting exposed and you know that and that helps too to know that that there's a purpose for this it's not just wow I'm unlucky because this one happened you know there's a purpose to it so that's what I like about that prayer at the beginning of a course of miracles I am here only to be truly helpful the truly part is really where the fine tuning comes in because most of us have some feeling of when we're being helpful you know we know how it feels to be helpful but the truly helpful seems to raise it up into okay here's my prayer Holy Spirit Holy Spirit decide for God for me I give you my decision making capacity to use for the benefit of me and the whole universe because you know the way you are the one that is the mediator between the world of dreams and between heaven so obviously you're the one that that knows the entry point into the happy dream and from your belief system you know that I hear that you you hear that and you you relate to that and you acknowledge that so enjoy the adventure okay very good well we have almost stretched and used our entire time frame here so we will conclude this session right now I believe there will be a song coming here and there it comes and have a wonderful afternoon a wonderful lunch and then tonight yeah we're gonna take a nice dive down the rabbit hole together but it's a rabbit hole of inspiration of heart-opening joy so I think we're gonna love that adventure so I'll see you a little bit later thank you yes so we've been sitting for a long time so I would like to invite you first before I sing to just stand up for a moment yeah and just let's just shake it out like you're on our cold shower good so Kirsten and me both felt for me to sing the light has come and some of you might know this so always feel free to sing along and I just really want to remind you that during these voice liberation things are singing along you know some people they're really into it and you see their hearts open and maybe others you look at yourself we like I can't do this or I can't sing this or these words they bring up so much resistance and then you see somebody else all in tears and seeming surrender you're like am I doing something wrong so really again don't judge the process and use anything that comes up so if you feel resistance towards the words or this morning when we're singing you know I'm an innocent child of God if I can't sing that you know I'm not an innocent child of God that is exactly what needs to come up so you know sing that and sing your sing your fear sing your resistance yeah be be truthful and be honest to yourself and know that it's everything is helpful yeah well this day to the serenity keep it's in your awareness of yours it has come I have forgiven forgive now for everybody to get their