 Like the old saying goes, the value of a loving father has no price. Welcome to The Advocate, your weekly reminder of important conversations among the necessary tools for a senior society. Today, I am focusing on the impact of being a present or absent father in the life of a child. Sisi, who joins us for the first time from South Africa, wants to highlight the impotence of education and inclusion with regards to the African children. In the same vein, today is telling us to rethink the education system in Nigeria. Finally, any thought points out the skills of and for the future of Nigeria. Sit back, your panelists are here to dissect it all. My dad is a superhero, the absent father syndrome. Fathers are suddenly celebrated, yet the impacts they have in the lives of children are significant. The older I get, the more I realize that when fathers are deliberate parents, the children benefit the most. The kids grow up to be more stable, independent and responsible. Unfortunately, though, more fathers are dominant parents. Quiscent parents are parents that are aloof and uninvolved. The implication is that the children become not only a liability to the parents, but also to the society at large. At an academia, I must confess that the empirical research that backs my intuition is very interesting. Studies have shown that when fathers are deliberate about parenting their children, the children have better IQ, higher cognitive and communication skills. The girl child has a lower chance of teenage pregnancy and boys have a higher chance of life success. Statistics on the negative impact of the absent father syndrome is staggering. Please internalize these figures. Fatherless individuals make up to 60% of rapists, 63% of youth suicide, 72% of murderers, 90% of all felons, 90% of homeless children, 71% of high school dropouts, 75% of drug abusers, 85% of people with behaviour disorders. Girls from fatherless households have 711% more likelihood to become teenage mothers. 53% more likely to be in an abusive relationship and 192% chance of being divorced themselves. It is a rollercoaster of disaster. So the cons of having a fatherless household must be seriously guarded against. Likewise, children with present fathers are more likely to be A grade students, less likely to be dropouts and less likely to repeat a class. Even in adulthood, children with present fathers tend to make better decisions and build generational wealth. As I pondered on this topic, I reminisced on how often I call my father before I make any important decision, and how he is always quick to draw up the advantages and disadvantages of such a decision. I was not shocked when my siblings confessed that they do not take any major decision without first passing it through daddy. This daddy did not go to a university, yet he is an extremely successful entrepreneur. He lost his father at a young age, but grew his wealth the straight and narrow path. His mere presence and accomplishment is a source of motivation to me. I think if Sekiru can do it, certainly Olaiemi with a PhD can do it. The impact of my father in my overall well-being is one I am grateful for. But I must thank my mother for persevering and making a marriage work. After all, it wasn't a work in the park. We, the product of that union, have benefited from having a two-parent household. So, as much as possible, parents must decide to protect their children and ensure that they do not fall among the undesirable statistics that I just wrote out. This baby mama syndrome that is crippling into our culture must be discouraged. Girls must pick their partners deliberately, a man that you can live with, that you can tolerate in the long run, a man that is ready to pour himself into his children and see that they are balanced and well brought up. Single mothers on the other hand must find male mentors for their children, someone to show them how family structure operates. And finally, fathers, train your children. Wow! That was a mouthful. And I agree with you, 1,000%. 1,000%?! Yes, I'll tell you a few reasons. Tell me. I know a few families that are without fathers and some with. So, the statistics are not very, why they are very unfriendly and very staggering. I mean, the cases are very clear. I believe that when the structure was designed, depending on what evolutionary story you agree with, that father and mother, I believe there was a reason why that balance was put in place. True. And the moment you take out that equation, what you find is dysfunction, more often than not. However, we must be careful and not forget that I also know families where the fathers are more of a problem than a balance. So, it's important to also, you know, on the other hand, like you said, train your children so they don't turn out to be... That irresponsible father. That irresponsible father. So, it starts from, you know, training boys to be good men. So, I agree with you 100% on that. I think that for me, my... Well, listening to your advocacy, I had quite a lot of mixed reactions. But I like the fact that at the end of the whole conversation, you were able to point out that single mothers should ensure that they have good male mentors. And what I think is very important to push out as women and as society is that we need to not just advocate for double parenting, like old mother and father households. We need to begin to talk about the quality of parents. It's not enough to have a man and a woman in a house as parents. Sometimes you find that some children are even more harmed by the interaction and the engagement they see amongst their parents. I think it's important, especially for women, to push for the quality of men that they talk about. From the beginning of any conversation where we say it should be two parents in a house, let's begin to make it clear and apparent that we're talking about what are the qualities of a good father. Two good parents. Two good parents. Two good parents. What kind of mother should you be? What kind of father should you be? How do I balance it? Because in this day and age, we're talking about women making strides, equity, equality. We need to be careful that we're not by ourselves inadvertently pulling back the hands of time with the comments and the situations that we bring up. So I advocate all well. If you have two good parents in a house or by all means, please make sure that you preserve the sanity of that home. But for whatever reasons, whatever situation you find yourself in, make sure that at the end of the day that you do well by your children. If a single father or a single mother widowed, divorced, whatever circumstances you're in, let's just push for the quality of the values that we're pushing to the next generation. And that's really where I would want to rest, Mike. But Sizi, when we talk about parenting and not necessarily having a balanced household, that means whether you have a single mother household or single father household, I still believe that fathers can do a whole lot even if they're not with their partners. As I said, fathers, train your children. You know, I'm so excited about what you guys are talking about. And I must say I agree with you the first presenter when she said that it is very important that parents are involved, so that their children, you know, they can do well in school. So according to research, they say that if parents are actively involved in their children's education, they are likely to do well. And I might just, I agree with the last speaker when she said, I'm sorry I didn't get the name, when she said that, you know, it doesn't actually matter if you have both women and men, the parents in the house, it's all about the quality of parenting, you know. And you might find that you do have parents that are present, but they're not actually there. So if they are like fully involved and active in their children's lives, children are more likely to do well. And yeah, I must say that I really agree with you guys what you're saying when you can say, you know, father, father, fathers are really, really, you know, they are really, really important. They play a fundamental role in the development of children, whether they are boys or girls, because, you know, as Africans, you know, the role that a father plays in our lives, it's very critical, you know, it's very important. And, you know, a father figure, you know, when you talk about a father, you're talking about somebody who brings, you know, who brings stability in the house, somebody who brings protection, you know, somebody that we can look up to, we know that, you know, that presence, it really means a lot. And, you know, it actually permits the entire, the life, the whole life of the child. Because like I was saying that, it has been all that I've become now, the more I realized that, okay, my father is a stronger parent in terms of making life decisions, in terms of, you know, looking up and hitting the ball on the head and navigating those areas of challenges. While mom see is always the emotional, oh my yes, my darling, I love you, let us pray, God will help us through. But my father is like, no, this is it, this is it, what do we do, how do we go about it? And I was not shocked, I was a little surprised, I wasn't really shocked when all my siblings actually, and we're all adults, we're all married, we have children, we have our families, and everybody I see, I can't buy a house without passing it through that view. I can't, you know, go to that country and do that business, that passing it through daddy. And not only myself, I've spoken to a few of my friends and they've all agreed that, oh yes, daddies are always like the stronger ones, the older you grow, when you need that strong backing, I think we all want to, you know, go back to daddy. Okay, if you trust him. You don't have that same experience. No, no, no, obviously, I mean, experience is different for different reasons. Absolutely. There are things that you affect your father too, and there are things that you affect your mother too. My parents, I mean, before my mom passed, there were things my mom knew about me that my father did not know, and vice versa. There are things that I passed through my father and my mom would not know. So it's the balance that we talked about earlier. You know, you have two figs to look up to, and they have different strengths, and they have different weaknesses. There are things I would never tell my mother, just because I know that her reaction, you know, might not exactly at that moment help, you know, the decision making, do you see? But I mean, on the other hand, my father would, you know, react in a different way, because I know his strengths, and I know his, you know, mannerisms, and then outrun that, you know, particular decision making by him. So certainly, we'll continue to advocate for fighters to be more present in the lives of their children. Now, the value of the African child's education is on Caesar's mind after the break.