 We're Commander 788, here's... You're a so great cop here. Love, G.I. Joe. Swatterize it! Wait a minute. Ready? Ready? Silence, kill me. Love you, Teradrome. Nice to see how Sunbow would have animated these guys. They should have been used in the comic book more, too. Night will fall soon. For this review, I have a special guest who insists on being here, whether I think it's a good idea or not. So, please welcome Sergeant. Really mean. Thank you, Commander. Please forgive me if I do not let them. I will be your drill instructor for the I sincerely hope that the experience is pure. Every single one of you doesn't shape up right now. You will end up exactly like me. I am 47 years old. I'm a little older than you. I'm a little older than you. I'm a little older than you. I am 47 years old. I am thrice divorced. I suffer from irritable bowel syndrome. And I live in a cheap... Fast and almost complete collection up to the release of the animated movie. And I had one favorite toy of the line. A 1985 bridge layer. And it's driver, Tolboot. Hey, wait a minute. He has background music. I don't have background music. Let's get some background music. Let's get some background music. Let's get some background music going in here. Let's get some background music going in here. That's it. That's better. I'm served to go to action figure hell. I lived well. Let the Jovers sing you to your rest. How do you about G.I.G. I feel like talking. I need to will provide a preview of the upcoming Jo-Con exclusive Battle Force 2000 figures. Hey guys, stay tuned after HCC reviews the vintage blocker because I'll be looking at the modern version we'll be seeing at Jo-Con this year. Thank you, Jo-fan82. Don't forget to check out his YouTube channel if you haven't already. Jo-fan82 has been so helpful with these previews. I wonder if he could educate us about other things. Jo-fan, what would you say are the geopolitical implications of Britain's interest in the Rock of Gibraltar? Hey guys, stay tuned after HCC reviews the vintage blocker because I'll be looking at the modern version we'll be seeing at Jo-Con this year. Fascinating. Another question for you. Do you really think the existence of the Higgs boson was confirmed by the Large Hadron Collider in 2013? Hey guys, stay tuned after HCC reviews the vintage blocker because I'll be looking at the modern version we'll be seeing at Jo-Con this year. We'll wonders never cease. From a Transformer fans point of view it has some merits. For that point of view I have asked my Transformers expert on call, CyberTiger to prepare an in-depth thorough Transformers analysis of the future fortress. CyberTiger, from a Transformers perspective, is the future fortress good? No. Thank you CyberTiger that analysis was transformative. Wait a minute. I'm the second son of a second son maybe I would have a little bit of the power? This is a comic book shop. The comic book was invented in 1976 by a stand-up comic named Edward Book. You can purchase them at your local comic book shop where they are sorted by size and flavor. I'll take these G.I. Joe comics please. That'll be $12. Look into my eyes. Look into my eyes. Don't look around the eyes. Don't look around the eyes. Look into my eyes. Three, two, one. You're under. Now, you don't want to charge me $12 for these G.I. Joe comic books. There's a sale today. All G.I. Joe comic books are free. Oh, and your boss called. He said I can have anything in the store because I'm his favorite customer. And three, two, one. You're back in the room. Still be $12. Still not working. This is Captain Hooded Cobra Commander of the Starship Second Prize. I have been transported to this wilderness planet by a mysterious alien life form. But I am not alone. I am being hunted by the Gorn. No weapons. Only this recording device. There doesn't appear to be any signs of civilization anywhere. This is a time for another vintage. This bigger on the inside. Cool. What could possibly go wrong? There's a stirring down below. My dimensionally transcendental time trousers are trying to tell me something. He's arrived. He's arrived. This place. Hey, Hoodster. How's my all-time favorite classic G.I. Joe reviewer? Cyber Tiger. Nice to see you, buddy. I'm glad to see that you have arrived safely. I trust that your journey was comfortable. You brought me here? Of course. Welcome to my country. Wait a minute. Welcome to the United Kingdom, mate. Would you like a cup of tea? No, thank you. I would offer you a scone, but unfortunately a raiding party of Silurians have eaten me out of house and home. I already ate. Aha! Would you like some marmite? Would you like some of my personalized marmite? No! Sorry for bringing you here without warning, Hoodster. And the TARDIS will take you home. Hurry along. I have an appointment with Her Majesty, you know. We're going rollerblading. Oh! Goodbye, Hoodster. Safe journey, my friend. Thanks, Cyber Tiger. Goodbye. Goodbye, England. I hope to return soon. Safe journey, my friend. According to my TARDIS tracking app, Hoodster's TARDIS is spinning out of control in the diamond vortex during white fronts. Hoodster's immortal danger. Her old friend, hang on in there. That TARDIS was in perfect work order. This could only have happened if someone has deliberately interfered with the TARDIS. It's sabotage. All right, mate. You've got to be kidding. How can I help you? Hey, it's me. Hooded Cobra Commander. Not funny. Looks pretty funny to me. Change me back. Why do I need to fix this? I already brought you back to life. You can still do reviews like this. If I do reviews like this, who's going to recognize me? Who will ask for my autograph at Joe-Con? Okay. I'll change you back but only under one condition. Next year you have to review the G.I. Joe animated movie. Deal. You can't keep asking for my help. You can't keep doing this. Yes. I'm youngish again. And all I have to do is review the 1987 G.I. Joe animated movie next year. Which means I have to wash the G.I. Joe animated movie again. Change me back. This begins our trip to Joe-Con. We've all been up since 5 a.m. And we want to get out of the house by 6 a.m. and get the kids all ready. Nobody's very happy about being up this early. Everybody went to bed late because we had a lot to do. So everybody's tired but we're almost ready. And we're going in this blue car and that's Susan's car. So we're about ready to go. Why are you still in your eco-warriors uniform? And why are you still eco-warrioring 26 years after your figure was released? What do you mean? Why wouldn't I still be eco-warrioring? You do know that the eco-warriors were disbanded after the 1992 series, right? What? The eco-warriors disbanded? And nobody told me? Didn't you think it was odd that there are no other eco-warriors around and you're the only one still doing that job? Flint, Ozone, Deep Six? They haven't appeared as eco-warriors for more than 20 years. I just thought those guys were all just really late for work. They're not 25 years late for work, Clean Sweep. They all got different jobs. All this time, I've been working for a team that doesn't exist. I've wasted more than two decades of my life. Hello, everybody. Hoonicoer Commander 788 here. It's time for another visit. I'm fortunate that I found you both here at the same time. I am the Toy Master. The Toy Master? That's right. The Toy Master. And I've taken your cohort hooded Cobra Commander 788 and I've added him to my collection. And he'll remain there forever. G.I. Jopler reporting in. Joplin 82 reporting in. Sanitarian Productions checking in. China reporting in. Knuckle up. Half the battle reporting in. Stand by for orders. I sent Robo Joe. I sent Dr. Thibes. I sabotaged the TARDIS. Yet somehow you survived. I realized the only place you couldn't escape was in my collection. Hold up there, fucker-o. I suggest you let all those guys go. Or what? Or I'll have to do something about it. Oh, that's rich. I'm hardly worried about threats from a guy who has the same shirt in every video. That's the question between episodes. Say goodbye to the kids. Toy Master, there's something I want you to see. What's that? This. Let's pop the cap off the canister and there it is. This is 24-year-old Play-Doh. It is hard. It's completely solid except some parts have been crystallized. It's tumbled a bit, but it certainly doesn't look anything like Play-Doh. It's more of a rock. It tastes surprisingly kind of minty. They call you fast draw. You probably think you can draw pretty fast. I reckon. You want to put your fast draw to the test? You think you can take me? We'll go ahead on. If you hate me now, what did you think of the review? The IGEL word was better. It's... Incend U.S. septic tank complete with the box. Come on, you have to take it. I can't keep it here. Every time I put it on a shelf, it leaves a stain. Then why would I want it? Brighten up your room? What can I do to make this even? Hmm, the U.S.S. flag is still out of the question? Yes, and you won't take the septic tank as a substitute. No! Then what? I can't think on an empty stomach. What do you have to eat around there? Let's see, we got soda, OJ, purple stuff. Sunny D? This message is for the fridge. If you should ever see this. At different times of the year, there are conventions where GI Joe fans get together. One such convention is Joe Conn. Sadly, next year will be the last Joe Conn. I'm not affiliated with any of those conventions. I'm just a fan. I know your health makes it difficult to make personal appearances. I wouldn't want you to do anything that would jeopardize your well-being. However, if you could make it to one of those conventions, I promise you Joe fans would be thrilled to see you. We would love to get your autograph right next to the printed autograph on your file card. We'd like to shake your hand and see you wearing that big 72 again. I'll treat you not as a sports star, but as a GI Joe. I have to ask Duke about this. Duke, are you still there? I am here, citizen. In a few minutes since we last spoke, I learned to speak Cantonese. I am so much smarter than you. I have to know. Why do you have a crotch rocket? Are you compensating for something? I don't know what you mean. You know, it seems like you have a big crotch cannon for the fact that you are physically unimpressive? That is a negative. I have no need to compensate. I am perfect in every way. Well, if you don't have a crotch rocket to distract from anatomical inadequacies, then why? Very simple. Sitting on the rocket launcher lets me aim better. What? How can having a launcher at crotch level possibly help you aim? I have an eye down there. Are you serious? You have an eye down there? I mean, you have one eye at crotch level. Oh my God. I hate you so much. It's big. Shut up! I put a poll up on Patreon for this week's review and the viewers chose Target. I want to go the extra mile by demonstrating how Target drops into action. Okay, you can do this. Just keep your knees bent. Take slow, deep breaths and jump when I say go. It's going to be great. I am so psyched up for this. I've never been this high up before. How far up are we? I can't do it. I can't do it. That's the worst idea I ever had. Mommy! When I look down, my body locks up. I may have to change my pants. Stop it, chicken. You have to do it for the viewers. This was your idea. But do I have to jump? Can't I just get down some other way and climb down a long rope? Well, check. This is my wife. We're talking about here. I'll check. I forgot to bend my knees and breathe. That guy. No harm done then. That was my review of Target. I hope you enjoyed it. That was my review of Mega Marine's Gung Ho. I hope you enjoyed it. That's it. That's the review. Hey, where'd you go? Are you finished shooting the video? If you liked this video on YouTube, subscribe to the YouTube channel, like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, and share this video. That's what helps this channel grow. I'll see you next week with another vintage G.I. Joe review. I'm not going to say that catchphrase because it's stupid. And remember, until then, only G.I. Joe. Only G.I. Joe. Only G.I. Joe. Only G.I. Joe. Is G.I. Joe. That's going to catch on.