 One night Ammar actually had a dream that we were doing like a helicopter stunt with Will Smith that we challenged him And he agreed to it And so he woke up the next morning and he called one of our friends who's a helicopter pilot And he's like what is the craziest thing you can do in a helicopter and the guy said not many people have done it But bungee jumping out of a helicopter is possible We kind of started off by slowing down a little bit It was kind of like You know as soon as everything kind of started to shut down Felt like all our creator friends around us were just rushing to launching some kind of a new show or late-night shows the next day We're publishing from home and we were like What should we do like we need to hurry up and come up with something and then Matt was actually the one who said Maybe we should slow down a little bit and take our time like this is gonna be a marathon and not a sprint and so we just kind of decided to We just we launched something called living rooms got talent where we challenged people from their homes to to kind of It was like a you know living rooms talent show basically Which allowed us to it wasn't necessarily us doing too much So it allowed us to take a step back and just kind of try and get reorganized And now we're slowly getting back into a rhythm of coming up with ideas that we can do from home Because seeking discomfort is not necessarily something you can just I mean you can definitely do it from home But you know the kind of ideas that we've been pursuing over the past year have been very travel centric And so when that entire category is wiped and you can't interact with strangers, which is also another big category for us It's definitely made for for a new challenge of us trying to redefine what a what what kind of yes theory episode look like Well, what is so amazing is your audience is so engaged. You were able to turn the show on to them. Exactly. Yeah Which was pretty it's pretty amazing any time we get to have those kinds of challenges with our audience It's always very rewarding because we just realize how hungry people are to also go out and seek discomfort on their own Which is always an amazing realization to just feel part of a much bigger community than than just ourselves Well, I think for a lot of us our comfort zone is our house So in order to seek discomfort we have to get outside of our house to do so But you've also developed a hundred-day sweat challenge. Yep, exactly. Yeah, so that challenge actually started was two years ago to we launched it for the first time two years ago because Amar the third member was Feeling a little bit off. He was struggling with his weight and just his his his energy and Just on a whim he kind of decided, you know what I don't need to exercise an hour a day I can just sweat once a day even if it takes five minutes And he sweats very easily so that was like a very simple thing for him to to kind of comprehend and go through with and so he announced it on his Instagram two years ago and With no expectation from us It just kind of blew up within our community and then outside of our community over the next two years and now We this is our third time launching it to the audience and it's it gets bigger every single time because people recognize The name and want to be a part of it So it's it's wild to see people in their homes, you know, just sweating it out day by day. It's really exciting and now you guys have been on a pretty wild adventure from the start and Johnny and I always call this the question when people ask us how we teamed up How did the three of you guys come together and kick off? Yes, theory so it's actually a An interesting story because we met we met five years ago in Montreal, Canada and Matt had just he graduated a year early from or a year before me from a Gill University and I would just graduated and Amar was just visiting Montreal he was going to school on the other complete other side of the country and on the west side and He was there kind of raising money for his startup He had like been been playing around with this idea in college and he had one year left But he wanted to explore the opportunity so he came to Montreal and we ended up meeting by a Mars snuck into my best friend's graduation party And we just ended up talking and just realizing that we have a lot of things in common And he eventually just told end up telling me he needed a place to crash for a few days So let him crash on my couch and that's when Matt and I had been toying with the idea of doing something called project 30 Which was to do 30 things we've never done before in 30 days and make a video about it every single day And that was just kind of like our kickstart to this it wasn't there was no grand plan at the beginning of Doing anything with it. It was just let's do this for a month Let's like make the most out of our summer and let's do something really memorable and as we pursued that Just within a few days. We were kind of realizing. Oh, wow, there's a lot more power to this The adventure is amazing with the friendship that we're building right now is like unprecedented and so it was like a combination of like the It became quite challenging to coming up with an idea every day and then editing and had the fast turnaround and then also doing it on like a very strapped budget So we were building like chemistry in the way we had to problem solve every single day But it was also the genuine discomfort that we experienced every day Kind of challenged our previous perception of who we were and what was possible Like I never I was never ever in a million years going to get a piercing and Matt And I both got a piercing on day two or three and like, you know It just like it was so absurd and it was it completely went against who you know the the path we were thought we were you know going to go on and It just ended up forming such a bond that from there It was just kind of obvious that we had to continue doing this So I want to ask you about that because AJ and myself we have been working together for 15 years and we had met on a chance meeting 15 years ago in DC and Started the art of charm now for you guys and the amount of content that you've put out that did challenging Certainly there's going to be a lot of bonding there However, what keeps you guys and the friendship solid as you continue to move forward and there was a lot of fame being thrown at you guys a Lot of success with the with the show and of course social media developing the way it has I'm sure you guys know there when you're a friends and also building a business together And there's also on top of that an audience with their opinions There's an absurd amount of pressure The bigger it gets for us as we've grown we've made it a priority to To to implement discomfort within our like a relationship and by that I mean honesty honesty through communication so Whenever anything comes up just not bottling it like not bottling it in Because it has a tendency to to fester and to grow and then it just lashes out into this big fight So from the very beginning we we kind of made an agreement between ourselves to always just be very straight up no matter how much it hurts And we From the very beginning we did did these things called interventions so there was a fourth member dare and a good friend of ours who who left after two years because of visa situations and He wanted to do something else and the four of us would do interventions where If three people agreed that one person was being annoying in whatever way We would sit that person down and tell them that they had to fix it If they didn't fix it Then there was going to be a serious problem and some of these conversations lasted five six hours sometimes days Until that person finally agreed To to change their ways but also years right because it's sometimes there's always an ongoing conversation It's not like you know, you just have a conversation Then it's like, you know what? I'm going to stop being stubborn now. You know, it's like It's like a reoccurring thing that like you have to constantly come back to and and The the place that this conversation always starts from is from a place of love and compassion and also realizing that Like every single person is flawed and it takes a while to unpack your your previous constructs in your mind And the way you behave and so it's always it's At the end of every single one there's like a very genuine hug and sense of Like okay, like whatever happens like, you know, we're going to support each other in overcoming this Um, and so it also leaves you feeling very supported not isolated Um, whereas in the beginning of the conversation, you know, it's a scary thing to hear But then as you slowly start to realize like okay, and like, you know, here are some actionable things that I can do Um, and it's going to make all of us happier than eventually you just kind of um Uh get excited for the prospect of self-improvement. Yeah It's very hard. It's very hard. I think especially with When when you start having like employees as well There there is less time for these conversations, you know, they're You can't just stop for like a few days and be like, all right, let's chat about all this Because you have to go like it's a constant go go go like a hamster wheel. So actually this time period With the whole corona virus has been the first time and quite some time that we've actually been able to spend time together and And just dissect all these things that we've been dealing with Well, much like you guys and and the art of charm For all the people who have been in and out of AJ and i's lives and who have been through the art of charm For us there was always a clear defined mission and what we wanted to accomplish and what the art of charm was about and so No matter What issues that we were having we were able to work them out because there was a there was a main goal And I would imagine with you guys with such a clear cut defined idea of what the show is and what it's about and what your mission is It has been able easy for you guys to rally around that at the end of the day 100 the y is is number one The y keeps you going That initial 30 day challenge. What was the most intimidating challenge for each of you? I think we we did this thing where we Tried to take a day to meet the mayor and create a secret handshake with him And there was a part of us that like thought it was funny and we were like, yeah, we can do it And then when we were sitting in the waiting room outside his office We were so scared because we had no plan. It was kind of like a dog chasing cars, you know, it's like It's like, you know, they have no they have no plan if they catch it So we were sitting there and we're like, wait, what are we doing with him again? I remember we had a bag of ghost peppers Yeah, we wanted to see if he'd eat them with us. He's like, no, no no pranks right now And like it was just like We had no plan We're just like we had this idea of like wouldn't it be cool to meet our mayor and then we got there And we had they gave us this 30 minute conversation with him and we were like what We're wasting his time And we ended up coming up with a secret handshake with him, which actually ended up going viral on reddit Which kind of created a total like Almost like street cred for him like people were like damn this mayor is cool Um That to me sitting in that waiting room. I was like what I have what are we doing right now? This is so scary to be talking to the mayor without having really thought through what we want to talk about on top of that is just such a wild experience that With that like within a day, you know, we were able to meet the guy like People think it takes years sometimes to meet certain kinds of people But if you actually put in the time and the effort To go after these things and that's kind of what we realized after the 30 days is like we made it a mission every day to achieve this one objective and 90% of the time we did so what would happen if We kept doing this day after day week after week in month after month and year after year and That was kind of the big realization is like, oh my god If you're willing to put yourself out there if you're willing to seek discomfort And you you know what objective you're going after there's almost very little that can stop you with the right energy and Uh that lesson just keeps proving itself over and over year by year I think people as the years go on as technology changes the excuses that they've come up for themselves of why That's not going to happen. Oh, this is a different time and age You know back then things were much simpler But you guys have definitely blown the lid off of any of those excuses and I tip my hat to you guys on that one Thank you man. Yeah, when we first started on youtube people were telling us is Too saturated that we wouldn't be able to stand out I'm sure did you guys experience that with with art of charm? Yeah, I think everyone when they're starting out sees other people's success and how far along they are and compares themselves And it's very intimidating or daunting especially on some of these platforms that there are more established people who are there at the start But I think that's also what's so exciting is if you have a solid Mission and core values that other people can get behind It doesn't matter when you start because that's what you're tapping into and your audience energy now Is an unstoppable force that motivates you guys In this time everyone is feeling fear and uncertainty and obviously that's a big part of your mission is Overcoming those fears and overcoming that uncertainty What is your mindset when you're going into some of these challenges where you are Completely terrified to jump out of flames and do some of the crazier things that you guys have done May have been piercing your ears The the one line we always go back to is do it scared Which means it's not supposed to feel good It's not supposed to feel fun a lot of the times you're you're so anxious and terrified And that's when you have to keep going And that's and that's kind of what we remind people of like the discomfort discomfort sucks It sucks so much which is why so many people avoid it And even to this day like every episode that we film a lot of times we're like god, this is this can be kind of brutal But every time you you just kind of grow more comfortable with the idea that it's not supposed to be good And the outcome of it is actually what feels so rewarding So reminding yourself of that Time after time is the key How hard is it at this point to find things that you're like? Well, I don't know about that one It's like, oh well, we just found the new thing that you're going to do that Yeah, exactly. I mean that's kind of what it is and it's strange because sometimes the the line is blurry between like Do we is this like not an idea we want to do or are we just scared right now? Like are we trying to find excuses because we're scared or are we You know, and so it's uh, it's always an interesting balance with with new concepts But it does always feel When we when we have it we kind of feel it um and and Yeah, it's always an exciting thing to land on on a new potential area that we can explore Now one of the mantras that I love is one yes can change your life Is there one yes that really stands out for you for a participant? That changed their life and and you look back on and reminisce about to this day We filmed that episode last year spitting the globe around the world and going wherever it lands And we landed Thomas and I landed on brisbane Australia or we land on the Great Barrier Reef, but we had to fly to brisbane and we were so hyped It was our first time in australia And the idea was that when we landed in brisbane We would leave the airport and we would go find a stranger a local australian That's never been to the Great Barrier Reef and we would take them with us And so we went out into brisbane. It was 10 a.m. When we landed and we went out of the streets It was like a pretty quiet like weekday morning And we started asking people and a few people say no and then We're crossing this one of the streets and I looked to my left and I See this traffic controller and he's smiling at me and he just goes like this I was like we're gonna ask that guy So we walk up to this dude, um who's around our age. He's around 27 and he He just starts talking and he's like, yeah, I'm from here and Instantly he was just there. You know, you feel that energy with people sometimes just such good vibes And that's what we look for every time And I asked him I was like listen, man, we're we're planning to go into the Great Barrier Reef You look like you have work, but would you be down to come with us? Uh for a few days And he's like, oh, are you serious? They're like, yeah, yeah completely serious. Like this is what we do for a living Uh and so with that hesitation no hesitation. He he was down And so we his name was luke And luke wanted to bring his friend travis so we were like 100 bring your friend travis And they were both the two freaking funniest australian lads. You'll ever meet in your entire life and uh the next day Uh, we hop on a plane. Oh, no, is that night that night we hop on a plane to bris uh to the Great Barrier Reef Uh and as we're Starting to get to know them luke starts to tell us a story About how a few years back he had been He was a skateboarder and he was this really great cross country runner and he had his whole life ahead of him and he um He was skateboarding with his friends one night And he got into an accident and he hit his head And he ended up in a a six-week coma and They were he was given a three percent chance to live And they said if he were to wake up out of the coma that he would be a vegetable that he wouldn't be able to really do anything um and so He after the six weeks he actually ended up getting out of the coma and A lot of parts of his body were pretty paralyzed but He ended up working through that as well and ended up with a hand that's there was just a little um just a little bent and We ended up filming him explaining that story to our audience and The video went up. We went to the Great Barrier Reef. It was this great experience But what really resonated with people was luke's story and So much so the video went pretty viral, especially in australia that luke started to get tons of press uh And his dream had always been to be a public speaker And all of a sudden luke was going around australia giving Uh a public speaking tour essentially like he would send us photos With like 1,500 people in the audience Of just him talking and he didn't have any public experience the whole thing but Uh, he just went for it and people loved him and to this day. He's still giving speeches Uh, we're actually we're doing this thing called yes live where it's our first live experiences that we're doing with yes theory And he'll likely come out as uh as one of the speakers and yeah, so it's just stories like that Where we when you're able to take somebody who whose story would otherwise not be heard by Many people and you're able to give it to an audience of millions of people and Like let them run with it like let them share it let them let them spread it and and that That is always the most rewarding thing is the strangers we meet when we connect them with our audience And see that kind of power and and where that can go Now for many in our audience the thought of approaching strangers and asking the things that you guys are asking is incredibly Intimidating we're afraid of approaching strangers. It's certainly afraid of rejection What have been the biggest lessons that you guys have learned over the years approaching people and and giving them these challenges To me like I used to have the most trouble going up to the strangers I'm all my mindset. I'm always like I don't want to bother somebody and I'm a little more like Quiet I guess then then then these guys when it comes to just new people like I don't always Like a mars is like a social butterfly He'll go out and come back with a new friend that he met on the street like literally it happens every other week You're like what the what you just what what happened like? What um And so for me that the times where we had to go up to strangers It was like almost like a running joke in the videos where it's like, okay Thomas is not gonna ask because he's just gonna blow it And what I what I kind of learned by through trial and error is The energy that you have approaching them is what they're gonna oftentimes project back to you So if you go up and you're like Obviously so nervous and you can't even like get your words out people are gonna be really confused Like you have to really put yourself in their shoes to realize to them you're like you could be a threat so you have to come off as least threatening as possible and just smile and Like beam with positive energy and a part of that means like really connecting with the intention. So There's a moment that truly was quite profound for me when I was looking for a stranger and the whole thing was two strangers swapping lives one person in sweden stock home one person in texas And matt and amar were in texas and I was in sweden with matt's younger brother And the whole thing about like people in sweden is that the there's a running joke around like nobody talks to strangers like at the bus stop people are like Just really far apart nobody talks and so I was like, you know in the beginning of the video I'm like man. This is gonna take all day. It's like 11 a.m I'm gonna probably be here until 6 p.m. Trying to find somebody and But before going out I really took a moment to just realize like this opportunity can change somebody's life If they're gonna swap life, they whoever says yes to this They're gonna have one of the best experiences of their life And I and I know it and I just like I can just feel it And uh, and I walked out with that intention and that energy First guy I ask And I almost let him walk past me because he had like he was holding his laptop. He looked like he was walking to a meeting I'm like, okay. This is like the last guy I should probably ask but All right, I just got to go for it and I start talking to him. He has first He's a little like apprehensive a little confused and then in the end He pulls out his business card And I think it says Yeah professional dreamer and he's a public speaker and everything he does is about spreading positivity about You know telling people to be open to strangers and saying yes and like it was so aligned that yet He had never heard of us. Um, and it was the most fascinating encounter where He ended up saying yes to this and then Matt and Amar in texas where we thought, you know, people in texas are open They're gonna like love going to europe and all this stuff. They spent all day looking for someone And they like could not find someone to say yes. Um, and so it's it's interesting how I mean luck and bad luck also comes into it, but Uh, for me, it was just like a realization that it's so important to project the the the right intention and the right energy Uh, because that's going to completely translate in the way you communicate what you're trying to do Because you can be like it can be sound really weird to tell someone that they're going to swap lives with a stranger across the world Like it's it's the most confusing proposal of all time And so if you're not very clear and also, you know, realizing putting yourself in their shoes to acknowledge like this is a very strange ask um You know, this is like you have to try and read like answer the questions that they have in their minds like almost before they're they have too much time to overthink it um and uh Yeah, I mean just realizing that has made such a huge difference because I used to go out feeling bad You know, I was like, I don't want to ask someone to swap lives like I feel bad I don't want to bother them But now I go out with okay This can change someone's life whoever says yes to this They're gonna like be a best friend for life And i'm so excited to do this and it's completely changed my my relationship with the whole like going out and Being really awkward in public. I guess I love that and something else that your show has done Is it exposes universal truths? So for instance All the time when people come to our classes one of the questions I get I don't know if this will work in my town or I don't know if people where I live are going to be so open to this Just as you had heard with this example from sweden but the universal truth is People are people and we are social animals no matter where you're from and we want to connect And if you do it in that positive Manor with great body language and great energy you are going to receive the benefits from that And once You're able to see that this is a universal truth It changes how you start looking at your city how you start looking at yourself How you start going after things are there any other universal truths that have been exposed to you or That you would like our audience to to to think about as they move forward there's one quote that that Matt introduced me to that actually one of his mentors introduced him to which is mood follows action Which took me a little bit of time to wrap my head around but instead of waiting to be motivated to do something Just start and motivation will follow Because sometimes especially in the beginning and i'm someone who's a deep over thinker Like i'll get stuck on a you know on the planning phase and i'll want to plan it perfect And matt has taught me that the best thing you can do is just Even if the first iteration is not perfect to just launch And then you you learn so much faster. It's better to fail You know fails quickly and so you can learn because like Waiting so long to show somebody something it's just like delaying the inevitable Learning lesson that you're going to need to have at some point along the way So you want to learn that as quickly as possible? And that's something that i've tried to adjust in the way i work on scripts and the way i have ideas I don't sit at home perfecting it for weeks. I'm just like hey, this is what i'm thinking And like it might get destroyed on him in the moment But at least now i know okay here are the flaws and then i can now decide like is this something Still worth pursuing or or should i like pivot a little bit? and uh, i've truly found that that There's not many situation where it doesn't make sense to just start and then kind of learn and Figure it out along the way Well, I think the other thing you guys have really recognized is that fear is fleeting In the moment at the initial start there's some fear But once that action is taken that fear disappears and then you're just hyped up and excited that you overcame that discomfort It's such an illusion And the the comforting part is everybody has it, you know, we all every single person when I mean look at everybody when they walk into a party or to a club And they don't necessarily know everybody the the same the same face is on every single person You know, they're just like kind of looking around nervously not knowing who to talk to Like what do people think of me the whole thing? But everybody's thinking that exact same thing about themselves. So in fact, no one's thinking about you It's all this illusion this thing that you've made up in your mind And if you're able to overcome that bit by bit like if you're able to see that illusion for what it is That is when you become invincible in so many facets like not just in these smaller interactions But in everything like the illusion of what's possible, you know Absolutely and it's a big core principle that we teach at the art of charm of getting outside of your comfort zone Repeatedly even in small doses has a huge impact on your confidence level when you show up to work the next day When you show up in your relationships and people notice that they pick up on that And what I love about you guys is sure it's easy now You know 5 million plus subscribers to do the crazy things, but you guys are able to pull off some amazing things Even when you had a small following What do you think was the tipping point? And was there a moment when you realized like hey, we have some momentum here This is a pretty awesome journey that we're on Well, there's there's a few times that There's a few specific moments that Because this project was never supposed to like initially was the intention wasn't like let's start this do this for like forever Basically, that's our plan now Initially it was it was like let's do this for 30 days. And I think it was day 17 of project 30 We had our first video Break outside of like our friends and family basically And it was a signing chelsea players The soccer team chelsea, which is one of the main ones in in the uk Into our fake soccer teams. We had ripped the the back of a book and written contract Signed here. We had our own little inter mule soccer team that was terrible And we thought why don't we sneak into the hotel and sign these guys? to our fake soccer team and It was just like literally the idea came up because we were walking to go do something completely different We were supposed to walk to a museum to pretend to be tour guides and on the way there We saw there's a huge line outside of this hotel and we're asking like what's happening And they're like, oh, there's chelsea players here And we're like, whoa, what do we do something with them? Like and then we just realized like let's sign them to our team And then we ended up sneaking in putting on suits and everything pretending to be customers in the hotel Whatever we signed two of them and we put that up and it ended up going viral in like the whole soccer community in the uk And I mean the morning do you want to describe what the morning felt like is yeah I mean when we at the time we had posted the 16 videos before and we were getting Around three to five hundred views from friends and sometimes friends of friends And every morning I I like views more than these guys like just stats in general really excite me So I every morning I would just check the video see how I was doing to compare it to the ones before And this one When I woke up it was 7 a.m. And we were all crashing in our friend's one bedroom apartment So I was on this like pullout bed with my friend with amar and I Opened the laptop and I clicked the video and it said it's at a thousand views. I was like It said a thousand views in less than 24 hours. Oh my god Oh my god, and then I clicked refresh and it went to 3 000 views and I lost I could we I lost my mind I started jumping up and down and I started screaming. It's going viral I'm like in my boxers amar wakes up. He's like what and within five minutes All of us are literally sprinting around the apartment in excitement Just like what are you and we kept just refreshing and refreshing and Within a few hours it was at a hundred thousand views and that was the first moment for us where it was like Thousand views feels impossible like to reach You know to reach anything beyond our little niche feels ridiculous But to to see it To see how exponential it was like once a great idea clicks with a few people and then a few people after that Like you there's no controlling it at that point and that was like that was the first time I think we realized how big it could become how How far and wide our ideas could spread That we were we weren't necessarily the only people feeling this way that wanted to adventure and wanted to get out of our comfort zones That there was a whole world of young and old and middle-aged people out there that really wanted to To step out and just like try something new like Like do something that you're not used to doing And uh, and that was kind of the a big moment for us. Yeah It's so exciting. I could feel the excitement from the story. I mean, I know those minutes Moments we had when the show started tell us what you had that little I want to know stick growth and you're like, I'm on to something and it just fires you right up What was the moment like that for you guys? We were actually featured on the home page of itunes. Wow, and we didn't know that's so same thing I was just sort of refreshing every day looking at our downloads and we are tinkering around a few thousand and Uh one day woke up Check the downloads and I was like, holy crap tens of thousands of downloads. What's going on I hit refresh and it doubled again and I was just like, oh my god. What's going on? And we had no idea. We didn't even think to check itunes So we're all scratching our head wondering like how did this episode? What was it about this episode? Why are people listening to this one out of all the other interviews? We couldn't figure it out and then Uh fast forward a couple months later A friend of ours told us that he had seen us on the home page of itunes and he was congratulating us And we're like, what are you talking about? He's like you guys were featured on the home page of the itunes store And we are finally able to realize. Oh, that was the moment So an apple employee picked up the show enjoyed it and featured it That sort of took off our growth and how long at the time had you guys been doing it? Uh, it had been going for about a year a little over a year And you know just slowly but surely getting that incremental growth and same thing started as a hobby for both of us Not something that we figured turned into a life's mission So for you hearing that really resonated did it start as a podcast first and then workshops? Yeah, so the coaching started after we never thought it would even be a business We found out that we were sending a lot of clients to our guests So our guests would come on the show talk about their coaching and sign people up We didn't know anything about affiliate marketing We didn't know that we could actually make a small commission off of that Wow So we were complete noobs when it came to online business We just enjoyed podcasting and talking about social skills And it just grew and grew until our audience started asking us for coaching and then we're like light bulb went off Oh, there's actually a business here. And is it all online or do you guys do in person courses too? Well, for the most part over the last 15 years, it's been in person Obviously during this we've been transitioning to online and uh, we have some questions here from our audience that I think are Really relevant to what you guys have experienced and gone through so I'd love to tackle those That's the first one is a huge fan of the show. He says hey jane johnny Thank you for all you do Love the episode on charisma this month and I've decided to make this my personal project for 2020 to develop some serious charisma But here's my question and my problem I could see myself working on each of those areas you guys talked about but only as an intellectual exercise The thought of actually approaching someone at an event or heaven forbid out on the street terrifies me I guess I could do it if I were a more charismatic person that I want to become But how do I become that person if I can't talk to people any advice is much appreciated ps I know this is a weird question during lockdown, but I want to be ready when we're able to go out again Wow, I would say there's this almost common This very popular idea that you have to You have to be something that you're not That you have to be this charismatic, you know super outgoing person Uh, and you have to put on this face of what you think people want But what actually people really want is you they just want pure brutal honesty and who you are And I think where people kind of get stuck and we've been in this place many times too is like Uh It's a little bit like the Like the kind of the whole I don't know like the whole thinking grow rich mentality like You know, I'm gonna I'm gonna put all these things on a board and I'm gonna You know envision myself being them and I'm gonna be it When in reality Real success is not like putting all this stuff on a board. It's actually going internally and being like, okay Why why am I stressed out here? Why am I anxious? Why do I have low self-esteem? like Where does all this come from once you start to actually dig through that And start to see where all these problems that you're experiencing in your head are coming from Once you start to heal And make an effort to heal Then naturally your energy is just going to go up naturally. You're just going to feel better You're going to be more confident. You're going to have better self-esteem and people will be just more Attracted to you. Uh, so in my opinion healing is actually the most attractive thing like everybody's got Trauma every everybody's got their issues. But once you're able to overcome them once you're able to heal Uh, is when life kind of just flows better because you have a better idea of who you are You have a better idea of what works for you. You're not pretending to be anybody else Uh, and that's that's actually the most unique thing because a lot of people are just out there You know pretending and wanting what other people want But once you know what you want and you know who you are It's like it's just easy man. It just whoop It's like fish and water I want to add to that as well with Just because we're in quarantine doesn't mean you cannot reach out to people We have all this technology that is supposed to be helping us be connected So use it to connect when we're using it just the scroll to kill time Here we're using it in the wrong manner But if we're using it to reach out to create to connect Well, now it's be now it's the tool that it was created to be And so there is plenty of opportunity Well, all of us are talking right now. We're creators as part of what we do And what fuels us then having people reach out and say I loved your video. You changed my life I loved your podcast. I love the song you guys wrote. I loved this video you made The reaching out fuels us to want to continue and we're going to reach out to thank you But there are plenty of other smaller creators who are debating do I even continue plugging away And you reaching out could be the one thing that pushes them along that extra day that might even get them over the hump To where they start to in it's not frustrating anymore. There is now starting to enjoy the process And you would be that that moment that turning point that tipping point So, you know, certainly To to wait until this is over if you want to get to prepare yourself start reaching out now For sure and actually one quick thing back to that charisma question Just add to the point of reaching out to people and interacting with people Our good friend has this great line Which is if you want to be interesting be interested A lot of people think they have to talk talk talk talk and like put on this Charismatic persona, but actually everybody just wants to be listened to So if you're interested in people and you're really curious about them Naturally people will just gravitate to you. So that was mine To me to answer that the question about how you can prepare To to be more open to strangers something that worked for me is Just practicing small talk in scenarios where I'm already in a situation where it's it's not like It's almost encouraged to talk to the person. So like if I'm at if I'm paying for the groceries It's a very simple conversation to start having with, you know, the the cashier or if I'm in an uber Okay, I'm going to practice small talk. So you're in these situations where like naturally there There's a conversation with the total strangers that can happen that has an expiry date So you know that you're not going to have to awkwardly kind of walk away And I find that practicing in those moments have just made me more comfortable Just realizing like everyone kind of wants to to talk and everyone wants to to connect And so I think getting over that first hump of just being afraid to talk to a new person Was like a good introductory step to then start, you know Building courage to going out and talking to to strangers at parties or people on the street or or whatever When you have a growth mindset So this being filmed when it is there was an opportunity of being on lockdown that was happening And I'm sure you guys much like Aja and I our first thoughts were How do we take advantage of this? Right? How do we make this something interesting or and And how do we turn this into something that we're going to look back and be proud of of how we behaved or acted Or what we produced out of this moment Now that's when you have a growth mindset for a lot of people coming into this It's how do I just get through this? How do I just buy time until this blows over and What I noticed for those people who were who were growth minded before this happened. Why were they all Why did anyone expect them to just flip a switch and for them to go into this kind of sort of state when this happened and What do you think would could be the start for For somebody who is sitting there who wanted to make that happen It was now in a few weeks of doing this or is looking at coming out of this or on the other side of Of this quarantine of how do I get started? What would be the the first steps? Whether we're we're they're listening to this now in quarantine or this is now past and they're ready to to Start new to me. I would say I think you have to like Realign your goals to some extent. I think for me I wasn't grieving a little bit over the months of planning and ideas and Objectives and like in my mind. I was like seeing very clearly how I'm gonna effectively execute the next few months I like I felt aligned and centered and then all of a sudden Like this completely unpredictable event happens and everything that I've been preparing for um Just just was thrown out the window and all of a sudden I'm like we're like scrambling to like What do we what do we do? Like what do we even want to do now? because like all of these things that we've been Really working hard on, you know coming up with creative new concepts that we can pursue and Documentaries that we wanted to shoot and it was all these different things lining up Um, and now we're just gonna have to completely start over Um, and it took me a couple of weeks of just kind of allowing myself to not rush into the creating um And I and because because I'm very much a person who just like wants to like do do do And it was very uncomfortable to actually not do do do right away And just allow myself to slow down like not wake up every day at the same time and just like You know rush to the office to get a whole bunch of things done because for a while It was kind of like we needed to take a little bit of time to just to sit with this and and and readjust and then now Just for the past few days. I feel like I'm getting back in the rhythm Of like knowing what the new objectives are and knowing the new direction And so I think just recalibrating like what the new Objectives are and and how to pursue those with the new circumstances Is is important because if you don't if you don't know where you want to go because inevitably for everybody the goals have changed to some extent Or the methods have changed and that takes a little bit of time to think about before you can like rush Into it So it's like pause cast your breath and then go Um is what I would say so not feeling guilty in in that moment You know of an of adjustment period to then go out and and execute Yeah, and I think for alex especially You guys hit the nail on the head being more curious and and doing things where the stakes are lower You know what he's talking about approaching people at an event and approaching people on the street Well in your mind the stakes are really high because you feel like that rejection is going to be awful But the stakes are a lot lower while you're at the grocery store While you're at starbucks waiting for your item to come out to ask a question And and listen intently to what the other person has to share And through those baby steps of stepping outside your comfort zone where the stakes are low You're going to start to get some positive feedback that's going to reinforce I can do this this is possible and all of a sudden you're going to find yourself at that event Finding the words and finding the confidence to do it But a lot of people want to jump into the deep end to learn how to swim And then they get frustrated when they sink to the bottom and say okay. Well, I'm done with this Most of us when we learn how to swim well We start in the shallow end where we can put our feet down and and if we panic a little bit We realize we're not going to sink to the bottom and build that confidence in a little bit of a slower pace And all of a sudden you're going to find that what used to be hard What used to be scary what used to be outside of your comfort zone is your new comfort zone That is the new place to start from Absolutely Here's a dating related question from Anton. Hey guys after a three-year relationship that broke apart And I took some time to recover. I feel like I'm ready to get back on the dating market But wow, I had totally forgotten how tough this is I feel like I'm being hit by one rejection after the next and after a few weeks This is really bringing me down. I don't waste your time by writing a 10 page email with all the details So I'll summarize it with this question How do you stay motivated in the dating world when it seems to go nowhere and you're getting rejected? Thank you so much for your amazing work Anton So you guys know a lot about rejection Whether it's in the dating realm or whether it's approaching people on the street or trying to get them To do some of these fun challenges What is your mindset around rejection and how have you become more comfortable with getting rejected because it is a part of the process we We kind of reframed the idea of rejection into It being more of a filter So when people tell us no and we've literally been told though Probably 10,000 times or more total, you know, like this is what we do week after week and we're asking sometimes 50 to 100 people and like sometimes like even that day in Austin We probably asked like 100 people and every single person said no and to us We see that as a as the filter for finding The yes people like the people that you're supposed to match with so every no is actually just a step closer to getting to that person um and realizing that if You somehow convinced this person that wanted to say no and like they're kind of iffy about you know That that is not just that's not going to end up well You don't want them to actually say yes because that's not the person that's supposed to be with you So especially in dating I find like I mean, and I've been guilty of this too. It's like you you're attracted to someone and You know, they they're not necessarily into it that much But then you're like no, I swear this is worth it and you get like all Like crazy in your head and you like become super needy and you're like and then the person just kind of like Stops texting you and you're like what the hell like and then you think the problem is you think the problem is Is is you but the reality is it's just like If the it's not supposed to be difficult like if if it's the right person it's supposed to feel natural It's supposed to feel easy. It's supposed to feel like You know, you're the conversation is flowing um So until you get to someone like that until you you find somebody like that I feel like Just keep filtering through, you know, and and the more you filter through the the likelihood The chance of finding the right person Thomas is in a very happy relationship right now and I'm single So I'm speaking from a place of being single. Maybe thomas you want to come from a place of being a relationship? um I think it's also um I found that when I was putting a lot of weight on like wanting and needing to be in a relationship um, it was putting a lot of strain on on every date on every new person like that I was you know, kind of Um trying to pursue I guess whereas when I became much more light about it and I was like, you know what like I'm not gonna be like so Hung up on the idea of wanting a relationship and instead I'm just going to go out and have fun I'm going to go out and and try and just kind of express myself and and so I started to initially just do More of what makes me really happy So I started waking up at 5 30 in the morning to go surfing because that was a big priority for me I started to just like do things that made me feel good about who I was um And it almost made me Care a little less about the outcome of a date, you know, I would go into it and I wouldn't be like, oh my god I need this but I'd be there and I you know in my mind I'd just think like this would be great if it happened, but if it doesn't that's fine I I'll just go back to doing the things that I love and and I'm and I'm okay with that and so uh Yeah, about a year and a half ago. Um, just kind of tried to to approach it more lightly in that way And uh It just I don't know. It just took it less seriously And what's funny is literally within a couple of months of doing that I ended up meeting Lexi who became my girlfriend, but it was um It was genuinely not my intention at first Um, I was just you know out trying to to have fun and trying to meet people. Um, I wasn't pursuing Relationships. I wasn't even pursuing like hooking up with anyone like like very like eagerly. I guess I was just kind of Curious more than anything. Um And trying to make sure that I aligned my daily actions with with with things that I felt good about And that made a huge difference somehow because I guess my self-esteem rose and Was more confident in the conversations And was able to just be more light and fun and I think everybody like Gravitates naturally towards that Yeah, I think that's a difficulty and it's a little counterintuitive But the more pressure we put on the result the less likely we are to get that result And it sounds like Anton's in a bit of that right now where he's putting a lot of pressure on himself Having come out of a three-year relationship Well, that's three years of not putting attention and effort into meeting the new person in your life So of course, you're going to be rusty the expectation to come in and bat a thousand is is really just unlikely even the best at the dating realm that we've interviewed over the years and ourselves included It's a numbers game and realize that some of this is actually weeding out people that you don't want to waste your time on Versus welcoming everyone in The last thing about it is all they're rejecting is your approach your opening message online It might be or the way that you approach them on the street or in the grocery store They didn't read your energy, right? They didn't get a good sense of who you were But they don't know you so you don't have to take the rejection personally That is something that we want to avoid when we're putting ourselves back out there And certainly being a little more fun a little more playful and not taking it too seriously Is going to lead to more results in your dating life Have you guys the last question here is from sonia and this is a really fun one And i'm excited to hear what you guys have to say it's a little bit of a story time So aj and johnny i've been listening to your show for over a year now And i've always wondered if i would ever have the guts to send in a question of my own and yesterday I saw this quote do one thing every day that scares you So today is the day here's the question if you could relive one day of your life again Which day would that be and why? You guys have lived some incredible moments over the last five plus years What in your mind would be a day in your life that you would want to relive again and why? In 2018 and actually almost two years ago. We posted a challenge on our youtube channel We had around 700,000 subscribers at the time and Will smith launched a channel on youtube and he had around he had a little less than we did So it was we kind of realized it was the only time will smith would be a little less famous than us in any platform for like a second so We were brainstorming back and forth about how we could get his attention and we had all these different ideas and Nothing really was that like nothing really clicked and then One night amar actually had a dream that we were doing like a helicopter stunt with will smith that we challenged him and he agreed to it And so he woke up the next morning and he called one of our friends who's a helicopter pilot And he's like what is the craziest thing you can do in a helicopter? Uh, and the guy said not many people have done it But bungee jumping out of a helicopter is possible And so we were like that is amazing And so amar came into the room told thomas then thomas told me we put out a challenge to will Three minute video explaining why we wanted to challenge him because of what he represents Especially in love over fear this whole message and also Like welcoming welcoming him to youtube so we put out the challenge and We asked our audience to go comment on his channel on his most recent video and so Within a day 25,000 people had commented check out. Yes, there's video video on will smith's most recent video so Challenge goes up no response first day no response second day third day for the fifth day and we're like, okay, this is This was stupid. This was stupid. We went too far and then on day eight we we arrive at Thomas and I had just gone surfing in the morning and We're getting back into our house And I got a text from my friend and it just says yo check will smith's youtube channel In the second I saw it. I knew it had to be something so I clicked open youtube and I And I typed in will smith and went to the channel and the title of the video was they challenged me And immediately I knew I was like, oh my god boys Come here. So we gathered everyone Played the video and the whole video is will smith Accepting our challenge and upping the ante and wanting to do it on his 50th birthday In the grand canyon for charity So when that hit when we watched that video and it went halfway through it said yes theory challenge accepted It was a moment of such like pure Bliss like if you watch the video and our reaction, we're so There's there's no There's no like I don't know how to describe it not like winning the lottery because it we were like almost laughing at how ridiculous our ask was You know, and it's like what it was like Yes, if we had sat around and thought of like what's the most ridiculous challenge We could issue to anyone in the world like that probably would have been Like top of the list and the fact that somehow lined up Was so bizarre. We were like We didn't we hadn't even looked into safety of heli bungee. We were like We you know, we didn't we genuinely had not even looked it looked that much into it It was just some one helicopter pilot told us it's possible. So we were like, cool. Let's do it Yeah, and so it was just it was just such a wild moment of just gut feeling and just going with With what felt right and exciting in the moment and then it getting paid off. What was also it was like a Like to have will smiths almost like, you know A confirmation that what we were doing was good Was like it just validated everything that we'd worked towards for the last few years before that, you know Where it was like the sacrifice and the struggle and being broke and Your parents not want like being so mad at you for doing something like this and like Like all the ups and downs and then on a day like that when Everything that you work towards you realize what like what it was for like for these kinds of moments where like nothing feels impossible and Like that one of the biggest movie stars and people in the world is validating your concept and who you are it's like the It was just like proof. It was like, oh my god. We were right I would say I would relive we lived the day where we did it more than the day where we found out I think the realization the day that we did it, but I was thinking that too You can describe the day we did that my on the day of the jump It was obviously will smith's birthday and amar jumped before him and my parents were there and it was like such a such a full circle wild experience and Reliving it. I think I'd also be able to relive it without the anxiety of both Amar and will being safe because I was genuinely so scared Will's best friend came up to us and he said You know, if if he doesn't get off safe on that helicopter, you guys are going down the canyon with him, right? And I was he's like the six foot four huge guy and I was like, oh my god What if what if something goes wrong and jayna's next to you and his kids and you're like jesus guys Please work. Please work. Please work. Please don't kill will smith like this This is the end. Like this is the day where I mean and so it could go wrong or or really right Exactly. So I would love to go back and relive it knowing that both are safe and not being That would be amazing. It sounds like a little less anxiety. Yeah, I would be much more relaxed But it was the craziest thing is right after the jump there was like a birthday celebration and will got up to give a speech And he the first people he thinks Was us That was and thomas's parents were there too and they they were like, what is happening? What is happening? We're just will smith's 50th birthday party and He's saying thank you to you before like all these people that he's known forever. It's just like it didn't make It was it was just too surreal to Yeah, it was just too surreal. Yeah the whole thing um And then ever since that day, I mean we've collaborated with him again and it's just he's been such a Knowing him in person now. It's it's been like such a guiding force for us Like what you want to represent for the world how far you can take your message Um, so it was uh, it was definitely a change in our perspective of what's possible and From that point on we've yeah, we've just kind of just gone ham on on mojito. Yeah fuel the fire exactly And what are you guys most excited about next? Obviously you had a lot of planning that Was paused with the the quarantine, but you guys have been hard at work. So what's the next exciting project for you? Well, we have our podcast coming out, which is the first time we're actually Launching anything that's not video or written and we've been wanting to launch a podcast forever. So actually being able to share what we've learned And bring in people that we've met that have inspired us to dissect these different topics and ideas around discomfort and And it's not just discomfort. It's just every facet of Just going after something you believe in and being a human in this world, you know So launching the podcast is really exciting for us. It's coming out may 26th and I would say for me. I'll let you answer this one, but for me. I think community There's I'm sure you guys experienced this where You get so sucked into creating content that you you can sometimes forget that the there's It's actual human beings watching and they they want to connect with you And they want to connect with each other and I think we've done a decent job of Creating some tools for our community, but there's a huge because we preach the idea of Strangers our friends are just friends you haven't met yet And like getting out of your comfort zone and connecting. There's such a huge opportunity for Bringing that to an audience that's beyond yes theory. It's beyond art of charm It's actually just the world like the world more than any point right now Needs people to understand each other and understand like you guys said earlier. There were so much more similar than we think and there are ways of doing that there there truly are and The more we're willing to commit as content creators to helping our audiences Connect with each other and understand each other and be there for each other in my opinion. That's actually what Like content is about and that's what the digital world is about is like how do we how do we get to know each other better? And so I'm really excited to to continue talking with people like you guys and and other content creator friends and Engaging our communities more and seeing how we can better Help the world in a big way I love that Yeah, absolutely. I mean I think Um Depth with our audience is something we're really excited about Amar uses an analogy of we've been building this skyscraper for for a while with all the people living in it And now we really want to make sure that we make sure that every single person who lives in our skyscraper is Incredibly fulfilled and is able to achieve the the depth that they can sometimes get a glimpse of through the videos And so I think what's difficult and you know in a youtube video is like There's a limit to how long I mean not really you can obviously make them longer if you want to But there's a lot of conversations that we have between each other or between mentors or between You know the stranger that we just took on the adventure that we don't always have time to lean into um, so yeah being able to Bring those out through the conversations in our podcast is going to be incredibly fulfilling because there's a lot of people that um This I think there's a portion of our audience that watches for entertainment And I think there's a portion that watches because they truly genuinely want to to learn something You know change their their mindset towards life And and they want to go out and sometimes they're like, how do I do it? you know, and I'm sure you guys get that question a thousand times a day and uh Being able to have more in-depth conversation feels like the Best next step that we could possibly give to our audience and so the way we structured it is Each podcast is like a specific theme so discomfort of starting meditation Uh ego whatever and each time we we have a guest that we kind of try and break down the the ins and outs of that topic while bringing out um like anecdotes from our videos and and there's like these long conversations that we had with wim hoff Iceman when we went and shoot shot the documentary with him in poland there's so much depth that we're excited to share um And that's just the first step that we're hoping to take towards just being able to strengthen and and um I guess yeah bring uh bring value to to the community And where can our audience find more about the upcoming podcast and everything you guys are working on? It's going to be called the yes theory podcast wherever everyone gets their podcasts. It's in partnership with headspace So we're super stoked. It's going to be on the headspace app as well um And then obviously on on youtube. Yes theory on youtube, um We're going to be uh launching a whole bunch of new uh projects this year. So we're we're just super pumped to Very exciting. Well, thank you matt and thomas for joining us today. We appreciate it. Thank you guys weekend Yeah, this was awesome