 I'll be honest. I'm 30 years old and I really want to be married. You know what I'm saying? And so I would have to agree to you agree with you. I think some of the things that some of the ways I've been going about dating Maybe that's why I'm still single. Okay So I just I just really came up here to thank you for your advice. I really am listening to you What state are you in? What's it? Oh, yeah I'm from um, Raleigh Durham, North Carolina Okay, how far is that away from Duke? Oh, um, Duke is in Durham. So it's the city of medicine Okay. Well, so because you have a isn't it in the college triangle down there? I have nc state unc Duke So are you involved in any of those school associations? Is that a problem? Yes I mean, what should I be doing? Because I'm an entrepreneur. I sell cars. I don't know like why why it would be over there You know what I'm saying? Well, uh, this is what I say book essentially, but here's the thing Seriously, if you sell cars Do you not network? I do like I sell cars like a contract. Well, listen, I mean if you you can apply them selling cars You need to apply it and selling you See you're in Raleigh and you got a Coming from sales. I don't understand how salespeople understand this you got a you got a prospect to get leads to get appointments To to present to pitch to clothes How many leads are you getting sitting in your house? And you got the college triangle the college triangle duke University of North Carolina nc state all that has alumni associations Football programs basketball programs lots of money flows through there You need to become I don't care how you get there but get around those places of academics and money because that's what band boosters alumnus and things like that chamber of commerce um, american heart association charities things like that. You just cannot sit and I'll just be cute You've got to do something. This is what back. This is how Becky kicks our ass because they're willing to get out of the house and do something Okay, well, I would definitely implement your advice. I really do appreciate it. I mean, you're right. You know what I'm saying because You're right. I'm not even gonna Can I be lazy we're lying on this Okay, I got a question too before we go If I do want to have value man, you know what I'm saying? I do Am I because I'm a and I'm a very Because I'm in sales. I have a strong personality very sharp and I I like to go with after I want I normally just don't like to lose am I wrong for like Is it too controlling for me to kind of Pick the guy not be aggressive But in my brain, you know, I'm saying like I want to go after him Is it wrong to go after a guy or should I just let him come to me? Wrong is wrong is not the right is not the word to use That's subjective. But you say you want to high value man Yeah, why Because I'm a high value girl. I feel like you know, why does that make why does that make sense to y'all? What do you mean? Why does it make sense to you because you look in your bank account and you say I'm a high value girl So I should get a high value man. Why does it make sense to y'all when y'all know that's not how we pick Well, I don't know when I say hi, I guess everybody have your different definitions of high value I have my definition One, I don't believe in 50 50 anything and it's like a lot of guys who Let me help you out high value Is feminine Okay High value is feminine. No, I'm talking about how about you man What is the high value? You said you're a high value girl. I I believe I am Then that means your femininity would be number one right That goes opposite to regression Opposite of aggression. Yes Aggression is masculine So maybe I should turn off my sales when I'm dating I'm just telling you what high value man want Is not aggressive females. They want feminine women Okay, okay And you ladies mind Stop looking at the comment section Okay I'm not looking at the comment section. Why do I do that too? No because I said I saw somebody say I was a four Focus here focus here focus here. I'm focused. I'm focused unless you because if you're down there book a session because Pretend and see and this is and I'm used this as an example. This is a teaching lesson You know, I have a platform and people do something so fun You got me online and you're too worried about what people are saying in the comment section versus paying attention There's a little bit of time I have that's a break in rapport with the high value man You just showed high value men. She's not for me because if I'm sitting in front of her She's gonna be worried about everybody else instead of me. That's not how we roll So You may be successful in your career But your education your income does not increase your value to men Okay I did a broadcast on that two three days ago Men value your femininity your beauty your fitness Your submissiveness your cooperation your win And high value men We'd rather go get the girl who works on fries and McDonald's than a six-figure top sales person Well, I hear what you say saying Kevin But a lot of guys that I date they do at like they care about that, you know, they at like Are they high value men? They're they're not high value men if they ask them like they care about that. I'm asking No, no, no, no. Are they do they make six do they make ten thousand dollars a month? Yeah, they like oh, I want her to hustle. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on They make ten thousand dollars a month Yeah For five years Oh, I don't know. I don't know. Okay. Well, I define high value It's ten thousand dollars a month in Atlanta dollars Houston Charlotte dollars For at least five years Other high value men recognize them as a peer They have a network of high value men and other people They're Visible Meaning what they do is linked in level meaning they're not entrepreneurs Means they have a title that most people understand and their money is above board And last they're useful to others and the group Many of you ladies think high value just means because somebody's making More money two or three to double the money what where you're at and that's high values far more than that I do and I don't believe a man's value just equates with money. I don't I don't I'm 30 Was far too many of you ladies are too concerned too much on what you want. You have no idea what men want Well, that's all I'm up here because I need to know Well, that's why that's why well, but unfortunately here's the reality. Unfortunately My show is to kind of start to start the conversation But if you want to really know you're gonna have to actually pay for the learning curve. You went to college, right? Yes All right, so when you went into debt for a degree that you didn't need to sell cars. Actually, I didn't finish I didn't finish. I wanted to see you. That's not the point. That's not not the point It's not the point the point is The kind of men you're talking about are rare and you're competing against the best of black women and the best of other women for them And they're going to get exactly what they want Okay, I am too Normally get what I I'm gonna get that's why I'm even up here because I like to get what I want Obviously what I've been doing ain't been really working out But I'm just a type of person Uh, you cannot out for your way through this I'm just gonna get what I want you can't do that You can't you can't determine what we do is men All anything you can control access to is your body. We control access to relationships See you're already out of your place Well, I said the the kind of men you want are gonna get what they want I'm gonna get what I want to put your penis up But but you but you're using the energy Oh, you're saying like I'm giving off masculine energy. Yeah, you're not gonna get in high value. It does not do this Okay You're not demure You're not refined reserved quiet. Hey, I'm out here. What's going on? Hey, what's up? Let's turn up. That ain't what we do. That's not what how about you do Who's gonna take you to a country club with the mayor's ball with all that? Well, I'm I'm first of all, it's different levels to two different sides to me. You see on one side Well, but I'm seeing what you show me and you don't know me and you're in front of thousands of people And so we tend to be who we are. I'm an image because ma'am. We are who we are And my point is Where's where's your daddy? He ain't home getting over covid What do you do for a living? He owns his own company I mean, he owns a moving company. Okay moving company respectable. Yeah middle class income though He makes good money I said middle class. I didn't say broke. I said middle class Why don't you hear middle class you automatically think less than you hear blue cars you think less than Listen, listen, and that's where your high value men are for most of you your daddy Yeah, but would you date a man? I mean be honest Would you date a man for the moving company? Yes, my dad makes good Would you date a man who's starting a moving company? Uh, yes, I would get potential I would if I can Say what now? It's not how about you did What would you not have my value is already there? Okay, high value was already there. He had to be doing what he's doing for five years. He's already there. He's already a superbowl champ Yeah, my dad had his company for 20 years But but you came in saying I want a high value man. I remember Exactly. You want him already to be there? No, I never said that. That's what you said I never said that's what high value means Oh, okay. So I'm confused now. I do got a question for you Are you saying that women should not desire a high value man is already there and we should be open to men Or and we shouldn't be open to men who's building No, I'm no, I'm saying you need to be in your lane and Most women don't want to build well with a man who's building like how was your mother when she married your father She was 23 22. I believe right eight years younger than you There's you saw the pattern and you chose not to do it Because I'm gonna get what I want. So you already want somebody who's where your daddy is now But you got to marry him while he's 22 That's why high value men look at y'all like y'all crazy because you want to come after we already won You don't want to build You want us after we already got the six figures and this and that and something so forth and we're like, okay I'm gonna get the premium because well that was different. My dad and my mom were younger They were younger. So that's different 22. You could have did that too I could have but that's not the way I went. No, no, that's not what you chose You had suitable men Who approached you in your teens and twenties that you'd overlook them for something else possibly No, no, no, we do no cuz see I did a video on you likely met your your match and you just blew it I don't remember him if he can Okay, what's the longest relationship you've ever had Maybe about six months Six months your entire life, right? Even when you were in high school in college I didn't really date in high school in college. I mean in high school How long was your last relationship? I don't even want to really count that but it was this summer. I don't even count it But ma'am if you only have 60 if your launch relationship has been six months. I got worse news for you. What? You ready Are you gonna probably say it's me but okay The question was okay. You're not ready for it Okay, I'm ready. No, you know, you don't have the skills for it You the longest job you ever held that's a man the six months and you want uh, You want an executive level Position man and you only got six months of work history. If your relationship history was a resume It would be trash How maybe because you've only held a job for six months. You don't know that maybe I wasn't dating all those years man See, this is what this is when this is when the ego comes out I don't have to know I know one thing when I'm reading right now What you're saying you want and what the kind of men That fit into that category what I do know unequivocally Is what the hundreds and thousands of men who are like that where I'm in that category The women they want and who they pick And they don't have this energy They don't have these talking points. They don't have this relationship history. See Were you raised to be a housewife? No You're raised to be independent And that's not what a high value man is. I mean, I wouldn't say that my mom was a housewife for You were raised to be a housewife. You was no way you'd have no only have a six month relationship in 30 years That maybe but kevin. Maybe god have a man in front of me. No, that's bullshit. That's nice about a man See how the audience see how this works. See how this works You your mama was made at 22 And you looked at your mother and did you say you want to be like your mother if you want to be different In some ways in some ways What's the answer? That's the that's a broad answer. Well, which one is it? Some way 50 50 50 Really? Well, you should have did the 50 50 that she did got married at 22 I could have if god presented him to me. God ain't got nothing to do with this. That's bullshit. I mean, I believe in god I don't know. I believe in god too, and I was raising the church baptized the fight. We'll get you my bible from 1974 I've been over three singles ministry. So I get tired of you women putting this stuff on god man, there's a natural choice and this is why I'm you laughing but this is why so many black women by themselves because Y'all just talk and talk and talk and then your ego and yourness and that and it just goes in one end round to other Ma'am, you've had six months relationship history in 30 years If I presented a man who's the kind of man you said you want you don't fit what he would need Because you have no experience being with the man of cooperating with him. You don't believe on the job training. Okay On the job training, you don't believe they're gonna go get a younger woman to do a woman with better relationship history Well, I'm dirty. I'm not old. You're old for marriage I don't think so Okay Okay, and and understand something this is what I mean folks They don't you can't say anything. I'm not old for marriage If you went to a matchmaker, they would tell you you're old for marriage And at what age does high risk pregnancy start at 35 right? So if you met a man today, how who was ready to be married, what's the soonest you be made to this man? I honestly have a rule for myself. I wouldn't date anybody over a year So he's got he's got to be ready within a year if you don't know within a year. My dad told me I turned 31 November 5th Okay, so if you met you today, you'd be married within a year. How long would you want to be married before you started out with kids? right away So you're gonna pray on your honeymoon night. I would love to right but see here's the thing What are the chances of meeting somebody and being ready to marry that being married In a year when you only have six months of relationship history over your lifetime Well, that's look we're talking about we're talking about what it comes to Ultimately what this is what it comes down to this is not disney. This is not fancy. This is really practical right You have little to no relationship history meaning cooperation with the man A man would be a fool To move that quick on somebody who has no demonstrated relationship history I mean that's how men look at this Especially when you come from a mother who was married at 22 and your friends and man for years You saw the path, but what most people look back and say You saw your mom and like well, I love my mom, but she she got married too early I want to get out here and do what I want to do That's usually more the story and that's the way it's presenting man And it's not a judgment But what I'm saying is ultimately the men you're talking about they don't look for women like that They're looking for women who are feminine help me Different energy about working with the men serving their family They're wanting to do it early. They're not looking for this independent SAS kind of thing Well, everything you just described is me other than the fact that I didn't do it early I'm very submissive I'm very caring very giving what you can say that but what is that show? Show what is that show in relationships? What is that show in relationships? What? submissive So if you are submissive and cooperative What what all men want and you are a black woman in the south You're telling me that no black man who has been suitable is coming across your path because that's what all men want I mean, I don't know. I mean, maybe he has maybe he hasn't you know what I'm saying Not to me. No, not suitable. I would say not I mean to me Immaturity immaturity, you know what I'm saying? Like Yeah, I would say immaturity They don't believe one of my my major deal breaker is if you don't have the same spiritual beliefs as me A lot of them don't they say they do But they're not acting like actions are not lining up with that You know I'm saying or I just don't see a lot of men who display leadership values You know I'm saying you want me to submit But you got to give me something to submit too. It's no way Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on If I just turn down the volume And let you see how you are moving Your energy Is all sass That's what I'm sitting here doing. I'm just reading you and you think you're involving informing me and I'm like Man, I talk to you every night And I've talked to you for 30 years And I'm trying to tell you You're just like the other snowflakes out here and think you're special and you're not Because here's the question in this sense. We're all god's creatures, but if you didn't have the same spiritual beliefs, right? Then your pastor should be helping you lead this husband search not you Actually, you don't really believe in a single ministry. Well, then you're under the wrong shepherd I don't know about that No, sorry every time I give an answer that lines up with something. It's all shame insults guilt The need to be right man is a big problem with a lot of black women And and you've been doing you so long that this is just Habit to you and the thing is I'm telling you how the kind of men you say you want If you want if you really want to know I'll tell you what I do I'll put this video up on youtube and I'll let high value men evaluate you. How about that? Hey, I'm I'm all for it. Okay You want me to put it up on youtube and put it in front of a bunch of men and say Is this the kind of caliber woman based upon this interview that you want? Like I said, yeah, that isn't that doesn't right That doesn't right. You don't know why so many women Who comes from middle-class background from middle-class families want these exceptionally high earning men Now you just said that men money does not equate the value. I never you just said high earning. That's what you said That's no, no, no, no, no, no. I said a woman's money does not equate the value A man's money is definitely part of this value Okay And what I want some I don't know why so many Middle-class your middle-class raised woman your mother married at 22 your father owns a moving company Middle-class successful You should be getting with another middle-class average successful person Not be looking for any elite top 10% earner I mean, I will start there. But you know, once you get with me, we gonna we we we shouldn't to the stars Well, we gotta stay there while we gotta stay middle-class So again, this is one of the remember so if you're listening the lady who was in houston the 43 year old I didn't hear no. I'm talking to her. She's listening. This is what I was saying about you with the plumber You're taking a man who was perfectly fine doing what he was doing And you still gonna make him be more than he needs to be so you can keep over the Joneses No, it's not pushing people. No, no, no, it's called. It's called. I'm not talking to you out I'm talking because I spoke to a woman Saturday night who said the same thing She's 43 The same thing matter of fact, where is it? matter of fact Thomas the plumber is what I call it I could get with him and we're gonna be the credit and investors and this and that and I'm like I always gotta push a man to be something and he's happy with what he is It's like it's like all of a sudden black folks have become Black women Start thinking because you make a certain amount of money only men who make what you may qualify So even if you meet a man who is in the top 15% of men that still ain't good enough because he has to make six figures and you talk about christian None of what you're talking about do respect man. Nothing what you talked about is is is Is christian I think men make money more of a big deal than women do for what you've talked about the entire time you've been here is The the income Okay, I just said I don't I said that's a part of me I don't believe that value to me when i'm talking about a man for one his spirituality is number one That's how you would be okay with a man making uh 42 000. Yeah, if he's a devout christian Don't play with me. That's sad That's sad because It's sad because 51% of black men are single and childless and 64% in the middle class It's sad that that man was your father, but he ain't good enough for you