 I remember an experience that you talked about, David, one time when you were having some physical symptoms and then you realized this is impossible. So what I want to know is what got you from the experience of what was going on physically and this is impossible. Okay. That was a day in the life of the parable of David, rolled back many, many years. That was the day when David was doing the workbook of Course of Miracles and David was on lesson 136. Sickness is a defense against the truth. Perfect day to have symptoms when your workbook lessens his sickness is a defense against the truth. And the context of that was that I came home and as I was in the kitchen I started to feel very, very nauseous and I was contemplating having dinner but I got more and more and more nauseous that was the symptoms and then I even had a plate of food reheating in the microwave and I just started thinking how as it got more and more intense how I would not be able to eat that plate of food and then the mind actually started searching for a cause of the symptoms which is like habit for a lot of us. You feel symptoms, you start whether you're in the metaphysics or not. You still start looking for a cause and it was this really deep nauseous feeling and it was like oh is it a flu bug and where did it come from? Oh my grandmother had it, my dad had it, I must have come from that. And you know the typical things and oh is it the 24 hour bug or the 48 you know it probably common to what a lot of people would think and then this very, very strong diarrhea feeling hitting them instead of the double whammy of nauseousness in the stomach and then the diarrhea and then racing down the hallway toward the bathroom in the toilet and sitting down hitting them onto the toilet and then that's when my lesson of the day came, sickness is a defense against the truth and what happened is that that idea came from the course and then related ideas that you make the choice for sickness when you're afraid of love and you want to call on a witness to prove that you're frail and weak and little and you're not in the magnitude of being a child of God and you're not in the magnitude of love and so it's a trick, it's a trick in the mind with a quick forgetting you know you make the decision but you forget the decision and then you look at the symptoms and you think that the symptoms came from somewhere in the world it could be anywhere, catching the flu or whatever and or something that you ate, food poisoning or whatever too much time out in the sun and so on and so forth so as I went deeper down I did go into this experience that I know a lot of people when they've gone in near death experiences they go inside very very deep I went into this deep prayer and meditation sitting there on the toilet and I was a captive audience with spirit and literally driven there by my perception of sickness and I realized that everything that I've been taught in the Bible and Sunday school and all these years of following Jesus and listening to Jesus and the teachings of Jesus including the course that he was now teaching me that's all in your mind and there's nothing outside of you I realized that it had to be so that either Jesus was telling me the truth about all these things all these years that I could rely on him and trust in him and follow him or the only other alternative would be that he was the biggest liar of all time the biggest faker of all time and he was completely full of gibberish and nonsense and so as I sat there with these intense symptoms it really came down to me going into the core of what my experience was with Jesus and the Christ and if it was true that sickness was a decision and that I could change my mind then everything that Jesus had ever taught me was true and this would be a demonstration and if it was not then I could just give up on the whole thing you know the whole Jesus thing and so I really could see that clearly it couldn't be both ways it couldn't be that it was both ways it had to be one that I was choosing it or another that I was at the mercy of it and so as I went inside what broke me free of it was I just started to feel all this love that I have for Jesus inside all this gratitude that's drawn me my whole life welling up deep deep inside of me and that got stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger so much so that it was not anymore just a stream of thoughts I just went right into the immersion of this is either true or it's not that I'm working, practicing, studying and when I went fully into that then all the symptoms vanished in just an instant just like they were completely gone and that's when the words came this is impossible kind of simultaneously with the thought this is impossible from inside that love then everything disappeared it was a very powerful experience because I couldn't chalk it up as oh another intellectual insight this was literally the release from a decision for pain and suffering in my mind it was just going in deep enough and saying you know I'm going to have to go right to the root of this one and it was very very it just propelled me in the rest of my journey to let go of the world to let go of careers to let go of nationalism and country all types of pride to let go of identification being whatever a speaker, a teacher, an author to let go of all concepts of relationships to let go of male and female to let go of masculine and feminine to let go of all types of subtleties that seem to be a part of even spirituality that are really just more duality they just aren't true point blank, they just are not true and for me my whole purpose was to to experience the present moment to live in that moment to be a living experience and demonstration of that moment and so that was a beautiful experience that propelled me and it came just simply from dropping down into the love and from that place of that deep love that's where everything changed for the rest of my life