 Have you ever thought to yourself or wondered how your relationships affect who you are and how they've played out in your life so far? Attachment theory originated by psychologist John Balby in 1968 is one of the fundamental tenets of positive psychology. It presents that people form models of social relationships called attachment styles based on their early experiences with their parents or primary caregivers and how responsive they were to their needs. This has resulted in four major attachment styles. Secure, dismissive avoidant, anxious preoccupied and disorganized. Generally, they can be described like this. One, secure, is when needs were usually wholly satisfied at an early age. So you believe people are good and trustworthy. You feel worthy of love. Two, dismissive avoidant or for simplicity just avoidant is when there was neglectful parenting from childhood. You see others negatively, but yourself positively, resulting in believing you can only trust yourself. Three, anxious preoccupied, also known as ambivalent attachment style, is when needs were not always satisfied in childhood. You grew up overvaluing love and doubting your own self-worth. Four, disorganized is found when the child is raised in an abusive, traumatic and chaotic home environment. Individuals with this style are believed to be extremely traumatized, emotionally numb and have no sense of safety or security anywhere. It's also called insecure attachment. So with that said, let's dive deeper and talk about the six ways your attachment style affects your life. One, your relationships. Insecure attachment style people have a hard time forming and maintaining meaningful relationships since they tend to recreate unhealthy patterns from childhood into adulthood. It's generally human nature to seek out the familiar, even if it is negative, because familiar equates to comfort. Avoidance or has the tend to get close to people and have trouble with long-term commitment due to their strong fears of abandonment. They keep their partner somewhat distant so that they can leave before they're left. Conversely, people who've had an anxious resistant attachment style are desperate for love and intimacy. They hold tight to their partners and are dependent, clingy and insecure. They tend to distrust others so they may become jealous and controlling. Two, your friendships. People who are secure tend to be friendlier and more outgoing, making friends is relatively easier for them. On the other hand, avoidant children tend to play by themselves and don't bond much with their friends or family. While anxious children become highly sensitive to rejection, they may grow up to be people-pleasers and conformists who crave social approval and popularity. Three, your partner. We tend to find partners who resemble our parents regardless of how negative the parent-child relationship was. Having an avoidant style results in gravitation towards people who are also emotionally unavailable and neglectful of your needs. Whereas anxious style individuals are likely to chase those who are inconsistent in their affection, leaving them being the one putting a hundred percent of the effort needed to maintain the relationship. In fact, studies show that having an anxious avoidant insecure attachment style makes you more likely to stay in an abusive relationship. Four, your parenting. It can be hard to outgrow the psychological scars that a dysfunctional family dynamic can leave. Emotionally well-adjusted individuals often cite growing up in a healthy home environment to be the reason behind their happiness and success. Avoidants may grow up to become emotionally distant parents who don't know how to satisfy their child's needs for closeness and comfort. They may over-emphasize independence and self-sufficiency, teaching their children that they can't count on other people to be there for them all the time. Meanwhile, parents with an anxious resistant attachment style are the most likely to parent be a smothering. They're usually controlling, strict and overbearing as caregivers. And five, your world views. Our parents are our first teachers. One of their initial lessons teaches us how we deserve to be treated and how we can expect other people to treat us. Secure style people are more open and trusting because they were raised to see the good in people. They can easily connect with others and feel comfortable being intimate or affectionate. Dismissive avoidant people are doubtful and wary of others. Their perspective is that the world can be a cold and unforgiving place. Anxious preoccupied people believe that the problem lies in themselves. So they tend to be clingy, self-sabotaging and have low self-esteem and seek constant reassurance. Your early childhood experiences and relationships with your parents can do much to shape who you are, what you believe and how you act towards others. Do you see your own attachment style reflected in any of these points made today? Does this help you move closer to understanding those around you and why they might do what they do? Please like and share this video with someone who could benefit from it and as always thanks for watching. We'll see you in the next video.