 But we're looking for areas in which training can improve your life. And what most people don't do is most people either don't think about it. They don't acknowledge it. They don't go after it. Or they let things get in their way. They let obstacles get in their way. They say, oh, well, you know, I can't do this because blah, blah, blah, right? Money's a big thing, right? Money's a, especially in what we do, money's a big deal. It's like that's expensive training. It's like a lot of people don't have that kind of money, right? A lot of people, like, we don't have an extra two, three thousand dollars. You know what? Steve, who was sitting right here, El Topo, that guy slept in his car to take training. He said, you know what? I only have enough money. Did I take training? I don't have enough money for a hotel or anything else. So I'll sleep in my car to make that happen. Okay? What did he do differently than the other three guys, the other ten guys, who said, oh, I don't have the money. I don't have the money and so I guess I can't take training. He made it happen. He didn't let those excuses get him down. He didn't let those things hold him back. And what you'll find is that those excuses are the same things that hold us back in field and they're the same things that hold us back in business, in our career, in everything else that we want to do. So by looking at the excuses that our head comes up with, that our mind comes up with, and being able to get around them, being able to overcome them, we train ourselves, we train our brains and our thought process to not allow those excuses to hold us back. Does that make sense? Yes. Okay, so in the center again. All right, so what area is training holding you back or lack thereof? You guess or you do want to? You do. Okay? So in what way would training help you with that? Do you need training to enter law school? Like, do you need the training to take a test to get in or you tell me, I'm not a lawyer. Okay? So do you think training would help you do that? I don't think so. I'm not buying it. Okay? The area in which you need to improve. I want you to think of areas in which you need to improve. Yeah. We'll come back to you. Okay? Okay, black shirt right there. Area in which you can improve. Okay? Now what's the solution? What's the how and the when? How do you get around that? Okay? What time do you work? What's your hours? So then what's been holding you back right now? Because there's just so much to do. Okay? So yeah, exactly. You could literally, when you get back, as soon as you get back, start implementing this, right? Okay? So the when is basically immediately as soon as you get back, right? Now will you do that? Million dollar question. Okay? Good. Solid. Solid. Alright, let's move on. Okay, execution. Right? When you're in the moment actually executing, pulling the trigger. Okay? We can prepare. We can be aggressive. We can get the training. But in the moment, can you pull the trigger? Can you make it happen? Okay? And like all these other, these other facets that we covered, execution is again one of those things where there are a lot of us, all of us, have sticking points in execution. Okay? So in execution, one way you fail to execute in anything. Write that down. Look up when you're done. What do you got, man? Just not being aggressive is what's holding back. If I really want something, I'll make it happen. Okay. And if people often wish things the less of their resources. You can be really aggressive and then when the moment of truth comes, fail, right? Correct. Correct. But in what area do you fail to execute? Okay, I want you to be more specific. I want a very specific area in where you're not executing. Okay? To escalate? Okay. Okay, why? Okay, this is good. This is good. This is exactly why we're here. Okay? So what I'm trying to get at is the root cause. Because if you don't know what the cause is, you can't fix it, right? So what's the root cause of this problem? It's fire to execute. Is it not knowing what to do? Is it not knowing when or how to do something? Is it being afraid? Correct. I'll tell you what it is. Okay? I'll tell you with an almost certain degree of accuracy what it is. It's fear. It's fear, right? Just like all of us experience when we're approaching, all of us experience when a set's going really well. And we don't want to mess it up. We don't want to lose it. Okay? It's just like anything else, all that is is fear. You have to learn to recognize that. And you have to learn to see fear in a different light. Okay? Okay. Actually break down. What are you actually afraid of? Correct. No, no, no. Not logically, right? When you're feeling that, what do you think you're afraid of? For example, okay? You go out and you see, say, two gorgeous women and you're going to go talk to them. I don't care who you are. If you are sane, you are afraid. Because I'm afraid. The other coaches are afraid. You guys are afraid. It happens. Okay? And no amount of training fixes that. You just learn to manage it. Now what if we break that down? What are we actually afraid of? Now logically, there's nothing really to be afraid of. But emotionally, what are we afraid of? We're afraid of rejection. We're afraid of the damage to the ego, right? We're afraid of our self-concept being different from what we think it is. Okay? We're afraid of all of these different things. We're afraid of the social proof impact. We're afraid that people will see that and they will look at it differently. Those are all actual feelings and emotions. And when we can narrow down why we're afraid, we can then take steps to eliminate that or to fix that. Okay? So what I want to know from you is what are you afraid of in terms of say escalation? Okay? I want you to think about what though? What are you afraid of? In other words, if this doesn't work out, what are you afraid is going to happen? Let me take a shot in the dark. If this doesn't work out, are you afraid that she's not going to like you anymore? Correct? Correct? Right, right, but we're not looking logically, okay? Because logically, there actually is nothing. But emotionally, what we have to do is we have to break down that emotion. That emotion of fear. Like I said, if it's an approach, a lot of times it's that validation. Or it's the possibility that we're going to break that validation. Right? We're not going to get that validation, right? Or our peers are going to look at it differently. Okay? So let's say, let's give a specific example. Let's say escalation, right? Let's say going for the kiss. Would you say that's an area in which you're not escalating? Okay. So when you're in the moment and you know she's down for that, and you know I'm really close, all I have to do is go for it. Right? So we're eliminating the other variables. We're eliminating anything to do with, I don't know how to do it. Close, not anything. You're right there. It's all you have to do is reach out and take it. But you're afraid. Okay? What are you afraid of? That's not going to work, right? That it's not going to work, right? Okay. So if we're afraid that it's not going to work and that you're going to get, say, quote unquote rejected. Okay? What we're going to do, and we're going to talk about this a little bit in our game. Okay? The solution here is to look at that differently. To reframe. To change your point of view. Because what you see from your point of view is if she doesn't kiss me back, or she's not ready, or whatever the case is, and I get quote unquote rejected. In your head, your head is playing a mini movie, and that movie is she's going to reject me, she's going to run out the door, and I'm going to look like an idiot and I'm going to feel really bad. Okay? In reality, what happens in the real world is when you go for it and say for example she's not ready, or it's not the right time, or her friends are looking, or whatever mistake you're making, and she's not ready for that. What really happens is you continue to move forward. If you go to kiss a girl and she walks away from you, she was going to walk away in the next minute anyway. You do not blow yourself out with escalation. Like a lot of guys say, a woman will always forgive you for being a man and for going for it and being a little bit miscalibrated. A woman will not forgive you for not being a man, for not going after what you want. Does that make sense? So next time you're in that situation, I want you to realize that if you go for it, the worst possible thing that could happen is she's not down and you're going to try again later. If she walks away, you are going to lose it anyway. She was going to walk away in the next minute anyway. So you can't actually screw that up. There's actually no way to screw that up if you just go for it. Okay? A lot of guys think I'm here. Let's say this is a scale. Right? A lot of guys think I'm here and I'm trying to go this way to escalate. Right? I'm trying to get further ahead. And this is before the kiss. And this is what a lot of guys think. If I get the kiss, I'm here. I'm further ahead. If I don't get the kiss, if she rejects me, I'm here. That's what a lot of guys think. In reality, this is what it looks like. This is you before the kiss, about ready to go. If you get the kiss, you're here. Okay? We understand that. If you don't get the kiss, you don't go that way. If you don't get the kiss, you're there. Does that make sense? The key to that is when you don't get the kiss, you still move forward. You move forward because she realizes, you know what? You're a man. You're going after what you want. Maybe it's not the right time, but she can forgive you for that. You are going after what you want. That is an attractive quality. Whereas if you don't, if you don't go at it forward at all, guess what you do then. Now you move back. That's the only time you move back. So when you guys are at that point of execution, take action. Anytime you're on the fence, right? Decision, decision. I'm not sure which one to do. You always err on the side of action. Anytime it's like I'm not sure which one's going on, it usually means that that decision is a decision of action or inaction. You always want to err on the side of action. Last year, pretty much right after I did the 21 convention, I had an opportunity if you guys saw the JetBlue thing. $600 would fly anywhere JetBlue flies. So I called my friends and I said, hey, man, let's go do this. This is going to be a blast. We're going to fly around the world. We're going to see all these new things. And my friends all gave the typical response that I'm sure you guys have all gotten to. Oh, yeah, let's do it. Let's do it, man. They don't follow through. They don't actually do it. They're not closers. They're not people that do things. They're people that talk the talk, and they can't walk the walk. So what happened is we got down to the wire. I said, you know what? They're, oh, we got to check for work. We're not sure yet. You know, like it's really busy. I was like, you know what? I'm going to do this. If you guys would like to join me, that would be awesome. But if you don't, if you can't for whatever reason, that's cool too. So what I ended up doing was basically traveling around through all of South America by myself, not knowing the lick of Spanish, not having a hotel to stay in, what the hell I was going to do. And I'll tell you what, from a guy who never traveled growing up, my parents never took me anywhere. I never left the country until about four years ago. From going from that place to going to a foreign country, not speaking the language, not knowing anything about the culture, that scares the crap out of you. But I had a decision to make, and that decision was action or inaction. Now, inaction would have been an easy decision to take. Oh, you know, my friends don't want to go. It's expensive, blah, blah, blah. I could work on the business. There's so many things I could be doing. I'm just not going to do it. But I chose action. And you know what? That was the best decision I ever made. I grew more from that one trip, from facing my fears in that one trip than I had grown in the last 10 years. When you are faced with action and inaction, you always err on the side of action. Nobody ever regrets action. You never say, oh, I should have taken that vacation. That's so, yeah. Like, I'd retrospect. I should have just stayed home. You always regret the inaction. You never regret the act. Even if it doesn't turn out right, at least you gave it your best shot. At least you can go to sleep at night knowing, you know what? I gave it my best shot. How many of us have been in field, and we see that 10, and we say, oh, man, I should approach her. But she's talking to some guys. I don't know. I don't know. How many of us have been there? All of us, right? Now, how many of us have been there when you don't approach? Because she's talking to the guy and you beat yourself up at home. The whole time you're home, you're like, I should have done it. I should have done it. Now, how many of us have actually approached so you get blown out, and you go home and you're like, man, I shouldn't have approached. Fuck that. That was stupid. I shouldn't have done it. Like, that was a waste of my time. I wanted my five minutes back. How many of us have never done that? I have never done that. I have never regretted an approach that blew out. Never. We're talking thousands, five, 6,000 approaches, never regretted an approach. Because we don't regret action. We only regret inaction. Okay, so let's move on. Okay, so one of the really, really common questions that I got last year was, okay, Fuji, so you're teaching the fundamentals. What are the fundamentals? What does that mean? What are the actual skills that I have to learn and in what order? And I answered that question over and over and over and I realized that was my fault for not explaining that, for not elaborating on that. Okay, so real quick, I'm gonna give you a hierarchy of skills. For all of you guys that ever wondered, okay, these fundamentals, what do I do and in what order? Do I learn this indirect first? Do I learn like the seduction stuff? Do I learn like the advanced? Like, when do I do this? How does this all fit together? Okay, this is the hierarchy. If we went from what you learn at the beginning to what you learn towards the end, approximately speaking, this is kind of the order in which you learn things. So first and foremost, body language and subcommunication, perhaps the most important thing in all of pickup. You can literally have nearly none of these other things, but have the body language and the subcommunication of an attractive man and you can do pretty well, which is why the first thing on that list is to nail down your subcoms, nail down your body language. And I realize that's also the hardest thing. How many of us have ever been in that field with a drink here, right? And someone tells us to put the drink down and what happens two seconds later when you get distracted? Boom, right back up again. We've all seen those wings, right? We've all had the wings. Oh, hey man, you should put your drink down. He's like, okay, cool. Yeah, oh my God, dude, the other day. I was hanging out, instantly comes back. Now why is that? It's because it's a habit because you are used to doing that because you have done that so many times that it's muscle memory. Now what happens if the muscle memory is leaning back, if the muscle memory is smiling, if the muscle memory is keynote, is physical contact, if it's all good habits and not bad habits? All of a sudden we stop thinking about those things as well. Our subcommunication and our body language, as we all know, communicate a whole lot more than the words we say, so focus on that first. Okay, second thing.