 Good morning to you. This is Power Talk. My name is Ram Magukko. As always, it is a pleasure being with you each and every Thursday. Today we are coming to you live from the broadcasting house here in Nairobi, Kenya. We are also live on our website www.kabc.co.ke4 slash y254 is where you can be able to find us. Ensure that you follow this particular conversation online. We are live streaming from wherever you are from. You can be able to catch this show online at our website. That is www.kabc.co.ke4 slash y254. As always, it is a pleasure being with you each and every Thursday. Remember, repeat of this show also as each and every Thursday from 10pm. You can be able to catch up this particular program if you have missed it also on YouTube. Let's keep this show going. We are in the season of festivities. At a time when families are planning to get together, people want to have fun. People want to meet up. You have not seen your family, friends and relatives from the beginning of the years. Some for so many years and they are about to meet during this particular season. How best? Can you maximise your season at the same time, have fun with yourself and at the same time still ensure that you are safe for January. Remember January is also coming up. Skulfis need to be paid, rents need to be paid and so many bills, loans, you know it. You have things that need to be paid. Yes, we are at a season of festivities Christmas New Year. Can you go out and drink with your family and friends and at the same time save? Is it possible? How best can you be financially intelligent during this particular season? This is all about understanding the festivities, going through the festivities right here on Power Talk and to introduce my guest and helpers in having this conversation. I am with Ruth Mudoni. He is an appropriate advisor, someone who has experience in the field. She has what it takes man. It is nice seeing you around. How are you doing? Fine, thank you. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. It's that time. To my extreme right, I am with Antonin Janga, a counsellor, a counselling psychologist. Thank you Antonin. Thank you Antonin. Every day you look dapper man. That's it man. We are telling him to buy for MP. Yes, next year. It's about time. Not even five years from now actually. Here in Ginu na faw kwa MP. What do you want? Nivai. Wasombu eh. Tandiki anaya kwa tiri bano na furia. Have you seen that meme that was going around on media? When the devil is seeing you making it in life, going financially well, that's when the devil whispers in your ear, my son, five times here. But thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you. God willing. God willing. It's the festivities. We want you to engage with us. That's a power talk show at Ram Maguko. That's why 254 Channel is where you can be able to find us. Tell us what you think about these festivities. How are you engaging yourself? How sure are you that you're going to be safe for January? And as somebody in Kenya once said, in whose hands are we safe? In whose hands? In whose hands are we safe? Ruth, how are you planning to engage your festivities? And have you started? Yes, I have. But actually, when I was called for this, I remembered it is the festive season. And I was thinking about my landlord. Hei anika sama januari. So I had to pay first of all, for my January rent. Just to make sure January I am safe. You have to be safe. Think about January first before spending all your money for the festive season. But you see the stress. The stress. Think about January first before you do anything. Think about January first. Pay all your dues that you have to pay for January. Then now, live life. Live your festive season, enjoy. Have you started enjoying your festivities? I'm trying to first of all finish all the expenses that I will need in January. Then I am in for the festive season. What I'm planning to do this festive season, to visit family, sana sana family to spend time with them, because it's been an year since I went. Ushagoku gotia, the grandparents. So I'm planning to go spend time with family. But I'm preparing myself psychologically. People should also learn that before stepping into the festive season now that we're in that time, that period, psychologically they should be prepared that the events will be coming along. Companies are having end of year parties. People are having family gatherings here and there. So they should be psychologically prepared. Because there are people who have social anxiety and who are very tricky for them. So they should be psychologically prepared. Because there are people who have social anxiety and who are very tricky for them. To have that in mind. But if you prepare in advance you know that these are the type of events or these are the events I'm going to go to then I don't think that you'll have any problem. Okay. There is something that there are so many areas that we need to cover. And before we get into the integrities, generally from the get go, because we are talking to the youth. They are the majority. Anthony, you said that it's been a bit over a year since you went to Shabu. And I know there are many youths who are in that particular position. I'm one of them. It's been like a year, but there is this particular notion that many are going through. They are not going home. They are not used to going home. But if you go to Shago, they are like, ah, panna. And for some they see it as an outdated thing. They don't know where their home is. Kwa kumambia, ayame nmanyi peke kuna jia waziend. That's fair. Uka me panagari ena baka kwa sho sho haizi fika because they have no clue where it is. What would you advise youths, that young person in regards to this particular notion going to Shago for some they see it as an outdated thing that maisha nia panai Robi. Awa na jona. First thing Ram, I need to know that what we need to know when we go to Shago, there are many reasons that we can say that we are going to go home. If we go to Shago, traumatic events that happen to our children. So avoid going to Shago because when you go to Shago, maisha nia panatu maisha nia ziliwa make of traumatic. Maybe akiwa dogo wa zazio likuwa na chapa they did not have that closure with their parents. So I'd say if to you going back home brings back some traumatic traumatic events which are so so harmful to somebody psychologically then Ram me says the advice we want to end the home. Maybe at a foot time na ma besti na some of the few family members when they are comfortable now are hung around now but see at the end the home because when you tell a young person to go home maisha nia ziliwa na rimaimini but if you don't have any problem with your past events then I don't see any problem of you going home because at the end of the day a family comes first. But if there is that process of recovery? Yes, there is a process of recovery but 60 kilo mutu na recover from a traumatic childhood experience. Whatever somebody is going let's say a young person is going through maybe relationship issues whichever issue that we want to go through may have been brought up from that childhood experience na iu sasa iu chalud experience nia toka nyumbani. Sato na imagine iso issue zote me kuwa sayitai miya COVID-19 sayitai miya sasa tu na elike ya janwari alafu hende nyumbami iim kumbushe some of those things how will that help him? But that person can be able to seek help and as a therapist ID kansula kuhandro that traumatic event but if you don't have any absolute reason for you not to go home Ram piawe na kuhambia. Tafadali hende nyumbani. Salinia grandparent kiniwata kuhu busy na hirubi ban akuna kitu kama busy na hirubi there's nothing like being busy in life I actually think the first of the season is the time that people go home that is when people go home then whole year when people go home when they come home you're being personal I will be going I will be going home this December he was told as you too we will be going home this December we will all be going home you know people looking for money people of good jobs and also Ram I think people are not going home okay I don't know there's a group of people who don't want to go home because they know where you want to go you'll have to buy the shopping you'll have to buy clothes you'll have to make everyone happy and it's not in your capacity just to slightly move away and just stay in Nairobi you normally deal with advising people on how best to invest now kuna maybe you can give me the term if I'm investing in you I am the investor and you are you're the investing no you're investing you're investing in Anthony you're the investor what is Anthony the investee the investee so there are some investees who are going to go to invest in Nairobi I want to say I want to say I want to say I want to say I want to say I want to say I want to say and the question that you ask I want to say I want to go home if you don't have the money just stay but I think Ram what we can say is if you want to go home you'll have to go to Nairobi you'll have to buy a car you'll have to buy a public shop you'll have to pay you'll have to buy a car isn't that a bad financial decision it is it is at times they do because at the moment maybe you do not have money but people don't want to understand they don't want to understand you don't have money for as long as you're my son and you need to take care of me people look at okay let's say you're my son Ram I'm your mother and I live in Ushago and in Ushago I mean that's a public figure I need to keep so Ramu kikuja kunyona kuja na vitu telekiata neighbor nikuja ntimi you know there's something that only happens there's joy that comes but not everyone can understand that you don't have money but when you know you don't have money isn't this one of the reasons why youths don't want to go home because there is so much pressure to deliver you're giving money like you're a charity organization yes and you don't have that particular money so after that you can go to Nairobi I think you can just stay in Nairobi and laugh at me to a small token to your mother and say this is for this but that does not give you that does not mean you don't go say hi okay kama utaki kwenda festive season end of January there's no festive season end of wasale miye we cannot go empty handed at least tuma kitu so utaki kwenda because how are you going to get pressure and money at Nairobi tuma kitu kido if you imagine Ram to me as an example Ram is a public figure kwa pa liya lafu how will that even sound kwa kaita kwa kiji jivili na kwaangana kwa kiki kwa ii homestead will you put that every year after a long time you would be knowing even how your home is but you need to go check on your parents but you need to go check on your parents after I am Ram after I am Ram after I am Ram after I am Corona Ram always because I attack a dog or something Ram, the country there are still restrictions in Mekwa okay so after I am Ram but an year later that's 12 months later kwa zi kosa savings kwa zuna ju wa sasa the expectation they expect from you eka tu savings kidogo every month at least kitu kidogo na kifika December kwa uta kosa kakitu ya kutuma kwenda at least kwa na sayla zi mati wende wuka ena wuka ena your family your grandparents for a whole month another example here we have this particular youth he or she is with a family that is divorced or divided in one way or the other mama kuku the dad kuku they just have issues but it is at the festive season mum and jyusha rukwao niku of course mama rukwao nita fortuna baba what should these youth do in order to go through this festive season and feel as though they still belong to a particular family and how do you bring this together Ram what I can say is personally I am in that kind of family and now that question now bring it back to me now both of my parents sorry to say this are not staying together the divorce so na jyusha rukwao at the festive season dad kuna get together on 31st mum they get together on 31st but now I am like what matters here is before if we get December from January to November at least I make time let's say I am in December I will make time on January to November at least I know if it is get together and happen yearly na jyusha rukwao kama lasti nili na say mum they say I can go to say dad and the other year you can just balance because now they are separated and will go to stick to one side you also need that in the other side so you always balance each year na jyusha rukwao na jyusha rukwao na jyusha rukwao na jyusha rukwao na jyusha rukwao na jyusha rukwao na jyusha nili na jyusha rukwao na jyusha na jyusha rukwao but it doesn't bring friction when someone says that happen na una mainda w examining kuleko ugoing nils tooko i name divorce parent because no decision they made so no decision can be made ...if they own you at the same time. Because there are differences that does not concern you. As long as you are happy, they are happy as well. But you know there are some kids who take advantage of this time ...and say nimi na ataka mami na radiote wa kuji hapa. There is nothing you can do about that Ram. Kamani divorce and you know divorce is an official from the court. Kamani evil, you cannot change anything about it. Ataka as much as you want your parents together. As much as I want my parents together. As much as I want them to be both of them present for me. But that's their life. And that cannot affect how happy I am. That's their life. Yes. We need to separate issues here. Yes. That's their life. Whatever they are going through is them. Whatever I am going through is mine. Because when you put in your mind that now bring their issues to me. Now it will make me not live a happy life. It will stress us and we will not get tired. So it will be every time I will be working on trying to make this together. But now nothing can change. A divorce is a divorce. And once this case of divorce, now it will be discussed how I will be tena into scratch of Niharusi. You need another process tena. So if you are happy, that's it. Yes. Yes. Let me hear from you Ruth. Yes. When we are at a time like this for a young person and you know these are times when emotions are always in the air. And someone feels as though you know what, I wanted to have fun and no one can do anything. About it. About it. And you go all in. All in. You know what I want to say, I'm not going to stress young we all came from January. Najachi. Najachi. What do you think about that? I think you need first of all to understand how do you earn? Is it, do you earn? Does your earning, is it basic income? Is it a portfolio income? Or is it passive income? Do you work to earn? Or is it portfolio whereby you get to buy, what is it called? Do you get to buy what is it called? Shares and then sell, that is the portfolio or is it passive? So you need to understand where you are. So when you understand where you are, you get to know how much and how much you'll spend. First of all, take care of your next month. Ala fujia chile. True. It is true. It is the end of the year. You've made it to the end of the year. You need to feel good about it. But live under your means. Don't over expand, don't over use your money. And as I said before, before you get December, you need to have plans. You need to plan ahead and say which type of events, which type of parties, how many functions will I go to? You need to spend money, you need to pay fees, you need to do this and that. Allow me to enjoy my son. Eat that money, can not solve your problem. Ah, eat that money. I usually see people like, Shamba Kamulini 250. 250,000. Ah, yes, if you eat that money. Ah, eat it. But if you eat that money. Because now if you eat that money, if you forget kula kila kitu, it will be so difficult for you to manage January. Utanzako se maio, I wish I had, instead of saying these words of I wish I had planned earlier, just plan earlier right now and know which type of events and this is the type of money I'm going to use. Kamuna jo ni salari ako uli receive, amuna receive himant. Plan tu yu salari useme, minda se minda chukwa salari kidogo ni yeke ya janwari, ya kupi, feesa maia kufanya, this and that. But don't take the whole of the money wika lekeshe rehe, window is spoiled, yeh wazazi, nisa wako spoiled wazazi, but not the whole of it. And then of the day, you have your life to do. Dreams of me. Kila mutu. Kila mutu. Kamana Ram, koi yo dreams of me, unali fomshaharaya 70,000. Ume se maa, 40,000 ni me kakando, 30,000 ni sawa ni angu, ya kupi jibamba. Kamana yo 30,000 na joa, ni ako ako jibaman, 40,000 ni kakando, me yeke ya janwari. Kamana yo 30,000 na joa, na ako dispend, sawa, dreams on you ni sawa. I want to suggest another angle. Perspective in terms of priority. Yes. And this is, of course, relative. It is debatable. But I want to find out from you guys what you think about the aspect of priority. Whereby, these guys have called you, me se maa 20 pale, the other guys have called you 20 pale. Now, for some guys, they choose, for some people, they choose not to go to either places. And their role is the ones who are called introverts. Wa na se maa ni antisocial, tembele aatu, enaga hauts, be someone who is social. And they are always called different types of names because they don't always say yes to going out. And they always say no to invites. How best can someone prioritize which places to go to and which places not to go to and at the same time maintain their own dignity? Ruth. I think that is a very nice question. So let's talk about the introverts. Yeah. For as long as you are at peace, for as long as you are happy, be an introvert. Sit at home, that's okay. You come first before anyone else. So the moment you make a decision, think about you first. Does it make you happy? If it does not achana naio, if staying at home or even taking it out, that is what will make you happy, stay there. Do that. Do that. Don't get pressured about people. What to attend, because they are extroverts. People, like me personally, I love to see people around. When I'm stressed, I love seeing people around. You like going out? No going out, necessarily, just to see people. I can even get out of the house and just watch people, because that gives me peace. It gives me peace. Do you like the view? Yeah, I like the view, I like looking at people. I'm just wondering, that person woke up in the morning, did this and that. I'll do this and that. I'll even go out and check up on my friends and I have friends who are introverts. We don't like seeing people at all. And that is what makes them happy. So this festive season, if you want to sit, sit at home, do what you want. If you want to go see family, for me personally, family comes first. I'll have to go see my parents, my grandparents, enjoy their company. And if now you don't want to go that side, you can have a drink with your friends, enjoy, but keep your dignity as you have said. Can you do? Anthony? If it makes you happy, then do what makes you happy. If you feel like you don't want to go out, nobody is forcing you. But then how do you balance? Because if at a hour to peer, you know, sometimes they get angry. They can get pissed. You know why they get angry? Because none of the day, there are people, you know around we have friends that we call friends, but they are not necessarily friends. That's why this Robert Buralele Sema, keep your circles small. The friends that you have make sure they are very few because they are friends who even don't know your personality. They are friends who don't know your personality is an introvert. Because you know, there are different types of persona, kuna amtua na konga introvert, kuna extrovert na kuna ambivert. So if you was an introvert, you feel like going out and maybe isn't a thing for you now, na feel it is okay for you to just stay home. Na hata kama hawa ta kasi rika. If they are your real friends, Ram, they will understand that it's your decision and they will not force you on that. But if they are not, they will be pressurizing you. But if it's a friend who understands that you have this type of personality, so hasn't this been influenced when they are going out or wherever out. If it makes you happy to stay home and relax and have your drink maybe. You can even tell them to come over. Root, come with you. Ladies like sleepovers. We do. We do. A lot. Now what do you mean? It's alarming kwa mga wa. And this... Nani ali kwa mga na kuchu slipo wa. Kwa ni this invites have become a lot? Ladies, they like slipo wa. They like slipo wa. Ani msa na izikatu kwa yubatu wa. Arina Shanga, what's up with ladies on slipo wa? I think slipo wa it depends on slipo wa. Is it at your boyfriend's place? Is it at your friend's place? Where are you going to slipo wa? Okay. So where are you going to slipo wa? Let's start with the lady and other female friends. And I don't know what happens in this slipo wa. Maybe you can tell them. What happens in slipo wa? During this time, watu ananda ku? Watu ananda lakwao? I know. Watu hawata lakwao? Can you advise people to go for slipo wa? Are they a go to for you? Is it something that you would do? It is not something I would do. Of course it's with me and friends. It is with me and friends. Not with me and friends. Me and friends. It's something I would do because friendship is really nice. And I keep my circle very small. I think I even have actually five friends. I think even five is a lot. Female friends, yes. No male. Not really. And I'm very straight. On behalf of the man. On behalf of the man. Ouch. Okay but you keep it straight. Yes, I am. So if you want to go for slipo wa with friends, it's okay. And there are some people who go for slipo wa with their male friends. Just to mark their territories. They would go to a festival to mark their territories. What do you mean marking your territory? You know this festival, when you go for a slipo wa, I would go for a slipo wa. And I would go for a slipo wa. So when someone from the village said that they were going for the slipo wa, I would say that they were going for the slipo wa. I was actually in Pika, I was in 24, 25, 26, and I was in 30th. And I was in Baki. And I was in Baki. And you were wearing items? Ah, na wanata eh? Ya, na na na memura my soul. Ati 2 things. 2th brush enyo na wacha. Do mwingina na kujaku tegneza edges nazu. Edges are... Edges, na wacha. Daniela. Daniela. Uhu na wacha ya kuhu brush. Mwingina na engiya na tu miyakama. Ya kuchu tegneza edges. Oh my God. Ramu na nga kujoha. Mimi na nakufa enyo. Mimi na nakufa enyo. Oh, apa na. Ya kuhu tegneza edges. Ha, nan of the above. No, no, no. By the way, just my own personal opinion. And this is for those who do it. And I'm not saying this is the way to go. I'm not saying this is what people should do. My own personal opinion is. Although I don't encourage slip of us. I don't encourage them. I feel... Inakujama na mani na mingi. Apunu na lizo by the way water we. That's it. Let me tell you Ram. Let me tell you Ram. Let me tell you Ram. This year, mi atasile we atami mwenyewe. What to have said me water we? Water we. Two to two. Two to two. Now say me water we. We are crossing over to the new year. But I don't know what we are. We don't know. I think it's about time we know. One of the new year's resolutions. We are not we. What am I? What am I? I was saying. My personal preference is. That I don't think it is right. I don't know about you. I don't think it is right for a man to leave his house. Ataineku lalako nyimbama namke. That is not right. I don't think it is. It is okay. Even if that is your girlfriend. Even if that's your girlfriend. Wacha e ayakuji kwa ko. Sewewe we quenda huku. I cannot go for sleepover. But you know Ram. One thing you don't get is that. That the ladies feel comfortable. When the man come in to their house. Dem kuwanade ma ko comfortable, ma nanume wa ke ku jaku wa ke. Kwa sababu ganyana feel ko comfortable hapo. The environment. A kuna maybe this man is maybe can try to do something. Ata kuwa comfortable. I don't see any problem. If you say it's a visit Lisawa. But sleep over. But if you comfortable Ram. Iwa kwa hidayum na jua ram, kuna waatao different. We are all different. Our decisions vary. Onez Aku One Kona Decision ee nga Umgenez Aku One Kona Decision ee. To you, you are watching me as a man, you are comfortable to go to your ladies and wha, isi kwa yi regular laki ni, isi kwa leo keisho kutua usizwe, at least wacha deyum aku jakwa ko. Kwa nili isi kwa yi regular? Kwa sababu gani, ma naum me ram. Ma naum me ram, teiwa shiki kuja kuaki ane dha kwa fili ee差 ee. Niku fani ya kitu, niku peki e, niku niku fani ya Bacha sa mimi niki na kwa deyamu na joku na bitu siya zifani Niki lalamuguyangu nimi ya keleaivi, ita kwa issue But I feel like Aman, you're not supposed to go regularly Regularly on a ladies kwa adinumba ya dem At least go once in a while, but it's not I don't think you should even go Aman? Do all of us look over? No, why? I think ata iguyako ina shuka I don't know Fini o, why? If I'm exuding too much ego But I cannot Yes, why? Kuna kuna this man who have this toxic masculinity In the one I just say ma evo Is this music? No, no, no, no, no This masculinity, this is the end of the day But new question But the people are there all the day If it makes Aman happy And if it makes the lady happy If you guys are in a relationship And you're both comfortable with the man The man is comfortable with going to the ladies Then why not, but not And then what I'm trying to say is Kama niniwa wili muku comfortable Namuku sawa nisawa But isi kwe muna umeya mezoeya Kuhenda kwa dem Hadina fika point Muna umeya mezakuleta hadin gwa zake kwa dem It doesn't make sense Let it be just once in a blue moon Mada moja moja But if you two Let's say in a route na ram If you two are comfortable Kama muku comfortable that is nisawa But if one of the party is not comfortable Then you can sit down and say By the way, you know what? You can come to my place Namibimi na zakuja Manomi na zakuja kwa dem Visit Just talk it out It depends on how the two of you are Yes I think I'd love to go to the man side Nisi ya kujia Miwa nipikie Soft life kidogo Sosa haki kujia seni miita pika You need to be smart What about men who cook? Aku pikie Eya nipikie Kadina iwi vi Aoshi evi ombo Singyo, say Kim You like that? I do Rami no na kano I love cooking I love washing the house I love washing clothes I love that Mi si na Shida? Look at how Ruth is looking at you But it's true It's true You know, one thing Sosati na kachaze tuzimi tufunza Manomi afaiku fanya this and that Manomi afaiku kone kana jikone kipika But at the end of the ram You can do that to make your lovely wife or lady feel nice I want to take a short break I want to take a short break I want to take a short break I want to take a short break But I love what you say You like men who can cook During this season Men should go out Cook for the women Yes Even if that is your wife Mambe babe today When are you going out? I'm not cooking I mean, it's been a whole year Exactly man It feels good Ram You're done Let's go back in a bit It's all about understanding Getting through this festive season The hashtag is part of the show at Ramaguko At Y254 channel So you can engage with us Tell us what you think about this particular season How are you going to get through your festive season What have you planned for yourself What are the financial decisions And financial plans that you have made For yourself as you go through this particular festive season Remember you posted a question on our Twitter handle And on our Facebook page And you are asking How best can you be financially prepared How are you prepared Keep engaging with us The hashtag is Power Talk Show At Ramaguko At Y254 channel Tell us where you're watching us from And I shall sample your feedback After this break Let's take that break We'll be back in a bit This is Power Talk Y254 Imagine This is Power Talk Right here on Y254 TV My name is Ramaguko If at all you're just joining us You're just in time for the very next part Of this particular conversation Remember it's all about understanding Now going through this festive season How can you make The best financial decisions Decisions pertaining to your finances To your relationships To your health To your life To your family It's all about understanding Going through this festive season I'm seeing many people are watching us also On online And you've asked our question On Facebook and Twitter Going through the festive season How best can you be financially stable Financially prepared The hashtag is Power Talk Show On Twitter At Ramaguko And at Y254 channel Is where you can be able to engage with us To sample a few of your feedback Yanga So transistor Asama Ngunguri Town to kupa-moja sana Hadi Samati Kalale Wayoonawa Khamkunji Analzema kupa-moja racha Jose Hana any idea I've got no idea and how you can get financially prepared All right, don't worry We are here to give you an idea Of what you can do Yose Usijali sana younger Keep engaging with us The hashtag is Power Talk Show Agu ko, at why 254 channel. Remember, it's all about understanding the first season I'm with Antonin Jenga and Ruth here. My fantastic guests of the day. When you want a break, you are having a tete, a tete. Before we went on that break, we were talking about how men and women can relate and going for sleepovers and whatnot. Now, let me get yet a different perspective of this because during this first season, allow me to say it as it is because part of it is where we say it as it is. Men are going to lose their innocence this season. Men are going to lose their virginity this season. How best can a man prevent himself from destroying someone's innocence and how best can a lady protect herself from stray and manipulative men who want to take advantage of her during this season because it is that this time, 9 months from December pata jamaa na zaliwa. Agu ko junior, playing around, Ram junior. Nimitibweji, na was an example. I think a man already knows what he wants with you, the moment that he sees you or even talks to you. If a man gets to talk to you in a perspective of come, let's have dinner in my house, you will know the agenda of a man by how he talks. You will know a man by how he explains himself. So to keep your innocence this December, just listen to a person, listen to how he says it. So it's not about that he come, let's do this and do this. If you want to go out, go out in public. You don't have to do it in private. Do it in public. What is there to do it in private that can't be done in public? Yes. Nothing. Come on out, let him take you to a restaurant. Let him take you to a restaurant. So one thing that ladies should avoid is having dinner dates in their men's houses. Actually not only dinner dates but avoid going to a man's house. Anthony. So what I can say for a man, you need to know what you want in this lady. So you don't have to go in there, you know I love you, you know I want to spend the rest of my life with you, you know this and that, but you need to know what you want in this lady. If it's sex, just tell her. You know what I mean, just want us to be friends with benefit and I just have it with you once I stand in. And if it's a lady, you are comfortable with that. I have a question. Atia. Yes. Atia what? If it's a man, you want sex from this lady, you just tell this lady. Tell her directly, I want friends with benefit. Exactly, just because it's so built-in around the bush after five months then you come to know that this man was after sex from you. Just be direct and say you know what, I just want, I'm not ready to date, I just want us to just have these friends with benefit and that's it. For a lady you need to preserve your dignity, you need to know that it's not a must you have it this time. You know, you can preserve your dignity and know what you really want also in a relationship. You want to ask something. I'm going to go and say my topic. What are you saying? I'm avoiding some questions. I'm avoiding some questions. Say it as it is. Say it as it is. Yani, there are people, okay, yes, I'm not that shocked. I'm not that shocked. It has happened to me once, twice or thrice. Somebody can just tell you want friends with benefits with you. Yes. Isn't that a bad sign? Is that a sign of a bad friend? No, that's not a sign of a bad friend but you know at the end of the day if you want a lady you need to go straight to the point. But that doesn't mean you're a bad friend. It just means that you know what you want from this lady. Don't just go say, imagine Ram, you tell him this lady you want a relationship with her, you want to spend the rest of your life with her, you want to travel to Maldives, Mauritias, Cichias with her and sure, you just tell her you're the only thing that she, you know, even in Russia, we started in Namambia, we were in Mlango because I was knocking. Something like that. You just lie, you just be straight forward I know what I want. I know what I want. Has anyone ever said that to a lady? Yes. I know what I want. We are to come back, we are to see what good things will happen to us. So yeah, just be straight forward. No what you want. No what you want, be straight forward and don't go beating around the bush. Don't waste this lady's life, I want you to talk to your sisters because there is a lady who is head of heels of a man but she doesn't know that this man is just not good for her And she is going to lose her innocence this month This month she is going to get pregnant This month someone is going to lose her virginity This month God forbid somebody may even lose her life because of hanging around the wrong type of friends Talk to your sisters Don't give it out too easily A man is a hunter If he is serious with you, he will hunt So you have to really look at that person and listen to how he talks Ram us as women, we do our actions out of the heart You can do anything But they tell you coming to me, we are in a relationship Personally I think we are having something You know your agenda with me So this December this festive season take care of yourself Keep your dignity Let me tell you the moment you have sex with that man Even if you are in Asia Even if you are Tarenda That was his agenda He gave him a leeway So don't give people a leeway to your heart Not even to your heart but to destroy you You can't be counting How many people this December How many people have you had sex You can't even count I mean keep your dignity Don't be lose Let people respect you But you are in love And that's where we go wrong as ladies It's not that you are lose You are just in love with this man Then you will get in love with so many men In the year If it's about love Let me tell you Ram I never thought I was in love Charakter development Charakter development Charakter development I'm telling my friends I'm pretty sure I'm in love I do this and this And my friends are just looking at me Charakter development Let me tell you Ram I do character development One thing I usually tell people Even men and ladies Young ladies and gentlemen I usually tell them that When you are in a relationship with a lady Or when you are in a relationship at the moment Or maybe you wanna be in a relationship Sex shouldn't be the main thing that you go for Sex should be just Something that happens But it should be the main thing Don't waste time for this lady Because even ladies Also have intentions of sex with a man It happens vice versa It's not only the man who wants sex from the lady So sex isn't the only thing That you can have with this person in a relationship You can build more than sex Yes it is important But it isn't the main thing Ram It is only the main thing Yes Guys It's not the main thing And even if And my belief is If somebody is in a rush of sex with you Then you should really check on their priorities Red flags Red flags And if he cannot wait Then he is not worth it He is not worth it That's true You hit the nail with the head We were going to Nipo We were going to Nipo Very true Yes sir This is something that we may know Aposas Yes sir But it's true That was a lame joke there But it's true But it's true If this person cannot wait He is not worth it It's not worth it Very true Quote by Ram Aguko Now I want us to look into this particular perspective Those who are dating This is the time when a man is going to develop arsas Because the woman The wife or the husband Or that particular partner that they are having with Wants to go to Diani And you have no money And all my friends are going out for Christmas Last week And then they will go to Uwapi And they will go out The pressure that is put on relationships Because of Christmas A new year How should we handle our partners during this time? I know there are so many relationships That as women are waiting to be taken to The dates, the coast The Diani And maybe your partner is not financially stable I think I think your partner should Say to me that you are a buyer But you have to pay for it This is a festive season coming I am not saying it is an obligation to do that But it feels good to be taken out If you do not have the money now Try to get some cash somewhere I am not saying In the best way Let that person borrow from next month Are you saying you should take a loan? Not a loan No, do not take a loan for enjoyment Just borrow from next month No, this is the amount I have taken From next month to do this So there will be a deficit next month You have to occupy that deficit For the next month But if that is what makes your girlfriend happy Take her to Diani Are you saying ladies should Go to Seme Seme Nasi mamia hapo Hadia pelakwe out I do not think so It's a serious relationship But they should understand Seelazima pelakwe But if you sit down and tell your lady Sinapesa But in January I will take you to Diani It does not have to be in the festive season But kama nilio waku sumbua Aie Anthony There are men who are going to be put under pressure here To pay for things they do not even know I know That's a red flank And there are some ladies who are out with their friends A lafana wubiwa na bi kwebe Nibee Nibee Tuko out baki na Ruth Na yu kutuko shotki dugo Unazaka tumiaka 10k We will see what to do I love you. Bye But all this starts from the beginning we are the beginning of you starting to get this relationship you are a man you can get a relationship ʻ aluminominu you approach them na expect,a man na zile you know high hopes me kwa wiki hei hopes ʻ wa ni kwa na pesa nitaku fanya this and that then this lady as much as we aите wk pa ningu wu wakuna naji wa wooo naka kitu they will attack at money the support of the men and the women could endanger pressure yes you know what I am saying, yes Ram uke naku wakuna approach them how do you do it? just be point blank nimi say ma don't beat around the bush tell this lady Kama wuna jua, you're not financially okay. Communicate with this lady as early as possible. Usimweke high expectations at the first date 20 Vilarosa Kempinski. Na wuna jua kabisa how ways you afford kwenna Vilarosa. You know your pocket very well when you afford kwenna hotel in town in Yutam Lipiachipsa 150. But you're giving her expectations on the first date that will take her to a high-end restaurant. But you cannot afford. So as a man, you need to know that. You need to be straightforward to this lady. Before even getting into this relationship. Di omukiendelea, isi fike, is it times inye, wuna ananza kukupigia na kuitisha pesa na anana. Kabisa wuna jua wuna, but you are giving her expectations on the first date 20 Vilarosa. Wulimonesha, wulimonesha wukona gari, wuna isa afford expensive restaurant. So as a man, be genuine with this lady. And if it's a lady who does love you, it's a lady who likes you and wants to spend life and wants to spend the rest of her life with you, then I'd understand. If you don't have money, I'd understand. Because at the end of the day, relationship isn't built on just love. Mani razima ikwe mahaliki dogo. But if you as a lady wuna uchali a kona effort mahali anamik, then why not? It's not about ati mimi mimi kwa ya kwa relationship nikona anana, tsalaria 50k. I can be earned in even 10,000, but I can be able to... It's not about the money. At the end of the day, pay, it's not about the money. Love, yes, cannot be sustained without money, but not extreme money ati razima ikwe. Very rich in oni weza kwa sustained. Kuna, let me give another example. Yet again, kuna ato me kwa kitu sumwa social media, nita awa imuakantawa. Now you have, I don't know how many days left. Bado tsa awa. Bado tsa awa. I think you know where I'm heading to. You know, during February, Valentine's, there is a... People were saying, Valentine's is coming. Where is your boyfriend? You are sitting at home, lonely. Now, 20 to 21 is over. And there is a lady, or a gentleman, under pressure, awa, amao lewe. Familiye na umuza, eh, makaime isha. Na hatu oni utu. I love they ask you, wuni una fikiri aji. Una panga aji. You thought so? Yes, he's on my side. Na, apondo me gonga. Well, maybe I am. Kama akuna akuna. Nakama iwezi a iwezi. Sosa ram tutafanya ni ni. What will we do? The men are there. But where are the serious men? Men are there. Everywhere actually. But there are very few serious people. I am not sure if I am. My director, actually I have two people upstairs, they are talking in my ear. I am saying, I am saying, I am saying, I am saying, I am saying, I am saying, I am saying, I am saying, I am saying, I am saying, but honesty Ram, I feel as if, like people personally lovely at set land and have a very peaceful life. So when you say, it is tiring. And for my main set to be happy and know what I want. The older you get the more your priorities here so you want something serious and constant. Then, what can the woman do, because you don't know how to respond to you parents Mcha kaga tia kiviwa mta niline. Mcha k 불�a kuna kupilwa wagi wa kwa kretuwa. Keru naka piliwa. Kenu mtp na mtepo wa kutuwa. Kupiliwa kuhira wagi mwilim na mtepo. Kuchi wajatu wajatu a., uzihumu tisha na mwili, kmetu wajatia na mwiliw . buti k будетu kusura kuewa. Kuhiri wajata klunin. I want to go to Ali, maybe I'll come during... That is a red flag. And me am wondering where the serious people are on this day. Are you saying that if you tell your partner that it's time to see the parents and they say it's too early, it's a red flag? It is a red flag. Why would you not want to go there? Because you know you're not serious. Wuna ja kenya wuna ta kwa? I'll differ. Yes. Why? Yes Anthony. You know I'll differ? mazuna ke wa ekbo sila Blue ju一下 kikiwa injusticea. Kuna k materi niedu mmento. Ya individu nunga. Na mmento kiseha min Farmt Noteu. Makama kiyan wa Medu maikini, buita maikini mokumisha ne move. K 좋아하 kWimola na Majet.' Maikini maikini ke masticibe kene wмam shoto. Sonyu kwa na maikini bine maikani moke to Samunti handu. N kuwadi itadz vaccination Mendu m �Нapote. Ya misimlilip ministers, na m ister muren wsima konugip FREE forötya revme naputnana So, the lady should inquire further about what the reason could be? Yes, communicate, because at the end of the day it's about you too and you want to do life together. Do you agree with that truth? One year. No, I don't think so. Let's say we've dated for one year now and you've never met my parents. Then what are we doing? Never, never. Yes. Even at a kupiti ya kusama tuhae, say at a serious meeting. Yes. At a serious meeting it doesn't have to be one year, honestly. You know what I say is, if you're dating someone, at least make time, come on the day mama ni boi ujuwe at least umzazi. Hatami bisi mua tajai, hajai yung yena one of your parents. Yeah. Forget one year. One year. What if it's less than a year? Ay, mi ram ni taku peleka. Kama ita eza, ita eza by the way, but min taku peleka. Kon umzazi? Yes. What is the least time you're going to say mahapa? Nahi, from here, kuna numa, we are not ready, but from here kuna bele, last morning umzazi. Psychologically, you need to get the mindset, unapaku date them, nakuwa na mindset, ya kuwa between 6 to 18 months, hapando inu peri diya kuwa them. If you pass 18 months, but if it's below 6 months, then at least hapokuna wene, but if it's 6 months, may date for 6 months to 18 months, then hapokuna ready. Actually, even 1 to 8 months, your name, that is yours, it's me and you. So if you take a one month up, you want to see each other's parents, that's okay. I know, you need to add in. You've given the example of when the woman is ready and the man is not ready. What about when the man is ready and the woman is not ready? When the man is ready? Yes. The woman is not ready. When the man is ready and the woman is ready, we're saying that now. When a lady says no, juwa hayuko ready, it's not that she's not ready, but it's somebody else. But it's unbalanced. There's somebody unbalanced, and then you can't introduce all of them. You have to be sure of the person you're introducing. You can't go introducing everyone to your parents. Yes. And it is during this December, this season that people are doing introductions. Ya. Some are doing introductions. Narorashiyo. Narorashiyo. Narorashiyo. Narorashiyo. Angola. Angola. No, na. This Saturday. This Saturday, 11. So you see things are happening. But if now the lady kiseima yuko prepared, Ram, kiseima yuko prepared, yuko prepared, na kuna vinyana kuei. And then you can introduce me to Kelly. Yes. Kuna if you can introduce me to Kelly. Yes. Kuna if you can introduce me to Kelly. Yes. Nukweli. Is it worth it or not? Adyaki ni kupelike Ram alafutena to me kusana the next 31 week. What you have to do is let's put our private relationship for like eight months. So talk up what you can introduce. Okay. Because the moment you kaka wazazi alafu uluwa expectations, wazazi naiaiai because ladies have a soft heart. Yes. Ladies forgive easily. Ma dema kuna soft heart. Ma naumia kuna rungumu. Rake ni ladies can really forgive and they can they are so easy to heart break. Very easy. So if we imagine dema meseima, no, amikata alafu wewe uko apu una keep on insisting, ni keep on insisting. Then ni me fika mali ni bidema kakubali. Then after some time amiku introduce alafu kujuluwa expectations wazazi naza dema. How will that even make her feel psychologically. Ataku wana juwa e wazazi wana juwa ni kuna. Sasa wami has that issues tenna. How will that be now? You get it? It will be so difficult. So yeah. That's a very sad turn of events. Yeah it is so sad but it happens. It happens. It happens to you guys. You see it doesn't happen. Ua amdi e manze. Ua amdi e. Atawale, bado aja ni jibu were the serious ones. Kata mali sema na na katiyangana. And that three days. Yes. Ram Ram. This is Ram. Agutu said she have approached them na na nam katia in three days. I want you to tell us. Na na mu nama ni me approach a kakatia e. One day. One day. So Ram, what's the secret? So Ram, what's the secret? Tare kwa mbe keto. A kuku bali anaku kubali tu. Yon ni say? Hapa ana, how do you do it? Honesty. And do you break people's heart? So what you mean to Niku Lizzi? I'm a heartbreaker, yes I am. It's good to accept. It is good. People admire you even online, that they send you texts saying, I like you, you're handsome, I like how you present, I like blah blah blah blah blah when can I see you? Can we go out? Yes, so you can accept them all. Of course you've broken hearts. Yeah. And how do you... Hey, tumestuka, one day. It is... It is... It is... It is... It is... It is... It is possible. And for the one day, how long did it take? Come to Ramu University. Come to Ramu University. Nice. Come to Ramu University. I will school you. A place of... Where learning is... In this first priority. Yeah. I want us to take a look at what's happening on social media. Now, if we... This is... All right. Recho Anasama, watching you from Muitehi. As I understand, I love the show. This is Mark Anasama, enjoying the program. Mark here, watching you from Gidurai Massive. Thank you so much, Mark. Now, if we... I love the conversation. Fire, fire, fire, burn them. Now Anasama, to Kohapa. Ruth to Kohapa. We sit to Ache. To Kohapa. Thank you so much for your feedback. I can't be able to read all of them, but I want us to have final comments on this and then I shall be able to wrap this up with a quote. Let me get it on my phone here. But before that quote, let's have a final comment and a final word. What would you say is there should be our take home that you'd like us to, every person watching me today to remember as I go through this festive season because at the end of the day, whatever has a beginning has an end. December started, December will end, general will come. What should be our take home for the day? Let me start with you, Anthony. All right. What I can say is, number one, you need to plan where your savings unafakujua the money you're going to use this December and you need to save on the January kifika houta ita kupatapa baya. And number two, for the ladies, please preserve your dignity. I know this is the time where you go to events, parties, preserve your dignities. And for the men, please let's not misuse these ladies of ours. They are so precious. They are baby girls. So don't say what to me. And this festive season, I'd like to tell you, just enjoy yourself. Visit family if you want to. Just enjoy yourself. But don't say if that money cannot solve your problem. Eat that money. You can eat that money but January kifika you will regret why you ate that money. Just know how to save. Jwa pesakratu. Me is festive season, you January kifika kifika houta ita kupatapa baya. Just before you when I say at the take home, my parents are watching and my daddy is telling me at the, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, Please be smart and this man, this man I'm sitting with, apa, these guys are hunters, let them hunt, if they want you seriously, they'll hunt, but if you give them easily, too bad for you, but enjoy your festive season. For those people who are thinking of the financial decisions, personally, mimi nimeli par rentia januari. I am settled. Let's, usi kwe ule rafiki januari uta anza uta kujo semiati, please Ruth ni say dena 2,000. If you, kama uji tegnezi, kama uji say di sayi, to si pata ni januari, alafu anza ekse mami si rafiki. Ram, I'm talking to these people. Take care of yourself, take care of your financial decisions before you enjoy your festive season. Pay your rent, pay whatever you need to do, then enjoy with whatever you are left with. Wow, that is Ruth Mudoni and Antonine Jenda. Karugunesana. Thank you. I want to end with a quote and as always, you know how we do it. Tell us what you think about this, do you agree or do you not? Be happy, not because everything is good, but because you can see the good side of everything. And that is what brings us to the end of this morning's conversation right here on Y-2-5-4 TV. My name is Ram Magukul. Big thanks to Antonine Janga and Ruth Mudoni. Thank you so much for coming. It was all about getting through the festive season. My name is Ram Magukul. Merry Christmas, happy new year. May God bless you and may God bless the work of your hands. This is Power Talk.