 If you're interested in changing your gender, then you are considered a transgender person. That means you are either biologically a man who identifies as a woman, or a biologically born woman who self-identifies as a man. Some transgender people have expressed feeling uncomfortable with their biological body. For example, a biological woman wishing she didn't have breasts. Reading and hearing about the experience of transgender people might connect with you or help you understand your own internal feelings. Some transgender people have felt like they were transgender as far back as they can remember. Others started identifying as transgender later in life. Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of the Procrastinator's podcast. An intimate, small session today with me, your favorite guy, the best guy ever. And Monkey Jones. Hey, finally an episode where I can actually say I respect all of the cast members of the podcast. I wouldn't go that far myself. And also Endless Jess is here. The only episode where I can say I respect one member of the podcast. Congratulations, Nate. You did it. I did it, guys. I did it. Well, and that's it, everybody. That's it. Just the three of us today. Everybody else is off doing more important things. And we're left in the trenches to carry the sink and ship as far as we can. I was going to say we're the three amigos, but based on this topic, we might be the three of me guzz. Impressive. And if you can tell from that extremely cryptic hint, we're talking about gender swapping today. Gender swapping. You can only refer to me as my new name on this episode, Estrogen Jess. Good. Okay, I'll be Mum Kett, I think is what we decided. Yep, that's a good one. And I'm going to be best gal ever. Which is short for best gal Godot ever because I identify as killing two Palestinian children in the Israeli defense force. There you go. The one true meme has returned. The only funny joke from that overly long, terrible Marvel DC podcast. Yeah, but that one really hit. That one really fucking hit. I'm going to get it again. Okay, let's fucking get into it, I guess. Speaking of Mum Kett, remember when the Alvin and the Chipmunks, they had the chimpettes? And they were like, yeah, I do. This is where we're going. Just the excess pre-edit site. What, you mentioned the chimpettes? That's all I need to say. That's what he knows to be struck cold. That's all you need to say about the chimpettes. The only good thing about that film franchise was that Jason Lee played the main guy. And then in the second movie, he was like in the hospital the whole time. They wrote him out of the movie, but not for the first 10 minutes. And I don't know why they made that choice. Maybe they just only had so much money to pay for his time. Yeah, because Jason Lee is so fucking expensive. The guy from My Name Is Earl is a hot ticket in Hollywood. No wonder they called the squeakwell. Because without Jason Lee, it's just a tepid little fart of a movie. Squeaking through the butt cheeks of Hollywood's tight sphincter. Too tight to dish out that money for Jason Lee. So this topic is so shit that I could find nothing related to it on Urban Dictionary. Like I tried searching like gender bending, gender swapping. Let's just read gender. Isn't it rule 63? Is the internet rule about gender swapping? That's true. That's true. Okay, let's see. Okay, rule 63. All right, that works. Rule 63 is a rule of the internet that reads as follows. For any given male character, there is a female version of that character. This rule's exceptions are only in- Oh, this is fucking- who gives a shit for whatever. Only in the instance that A, the male character is already so androgynous that a female version would be basically the same or B, the female version hasn't been drawn yet. Well, what- what- why would you even write that? Just fucking- this is shit. This is terrible. This is- this is absolute garbage. Um, hey. So, uh, the- the chimp bets, the- those Alvin and the chipmunk girls- Can we not- They remind me- uh, no. Well, what I- what they remind me of is how incredibly hot female versions of characters that you already like are. That's what we're behind you with that? Yeah, because- yeah, it does. Okay. I'll buy this premise. That's- that's true. Would you say- I mean, like, uh, when I see- when I see a female versions of Commina, for example, I find that extremely arousing. Oh, yeah. Like, like the girl from that, uh, the cosplay girl who yelled at you, that's the hottest Commina I've ever seen. She's- she's great, dude. 10 out of 10. Great. It's- it's because you got all the great things about a character. But then you also can sex them now. Yeah. Which is- which is just great. Which is just great. And it works the other way as well, I- I guess. Like, if you've got a cool female character, that's nice. But when you gender swap them, like, you can project all the things you like about them from their, I guess, female version. And then also, now they can be- they can drive well. Now they can drive- Got them! I gotta say, when me and Mage did our Nauru cast, she drew a picture of Mia's Naruto and her as Sasuke. So we have this female Sasuke. It's pretty much Sasuke with purple hair and tits. And like you're saying with the- with the chimpettes, I- I jerked off to that picture Mage drew probably 30 times in one day. It's just- it makes the character so much hotter. I agree. Well, okay. That's the podcast, everyone. We'll be collecting our fat three-person check now. That's one facet thoroughly explored. This is what happens when you got three people. Okay, but here we go. There's another facet, and it's the- the personally gender swapping thing, right? So there's- there's wanting to be the little girl, as it were. The Digi Bro complex. Yeah. Yeah. Which can you say why Digi's not on this episode? Because I imagine a lot of people in the comments are angry that of this topic, of all topics, Digi should be here. Yeah, that's true. Here's what happened. So we said, hey Digi, do you want to come on? He said, fuck you guys. Fuck the PCP. I'm too big for that shit. I have 300,000 subs now. I'm- you're all beneath me. And that's why- Did he cross that? Did he get the 300,000 now? By the time this is out, he probably will. Okay, well, Greg, congrats, Digi, congrats. Also, we hope to Voo. I hope to Voo would be here too, but he's- he's busy as well. So this is what you left with folks. Enjoy. The table scraps of the PCP. So I want to be the little girl, and by that I mean I would definitely- I see a lot of perks. There's obviously some negatives, but I see a lot of perks in being a sexy girl, you know? I do have friends though, because if I was a girl, you'd know I'd be a 10 out of 10 goddess, of course, it's a given. Yeah. It's just a mirror image of yourself, but with tits. That's right. That's right. So there's a lot of good things about that. I guess I'm making it- I'm taking this literally. I'm taking this like real, like if I was just suddenly a girl. In society, there's a lot of good things about being a girl, but there's definitely some negatives. For example- Wait, wait, time out. There's negatives to being a girl in society. I don't think that holds any water, Nate. Name one. Well, I've got a friend who- Okay, too far. Again, you're already saying crazy things. I know. I've got a friend who's super hot, and she works in customer service, and she was just telling me the other day, all the time, people will come up to her, like men, and they will want to have sex with her. So what that manifests as- What a tragic life she must live. Being interactive. Well, imagine if all the dregs of society kept coming up to you with the clear intention of wanting to fuck you, and it's like, uh, yeah, okay, cool. Appreciate the compliment, but- Not to get off on a gender dynamics tangent here. I think it's unavoidable, but- I mean, what the hell else are we gonna talk about on this shitty fucking topic? You know, I get that complaint of why women would feel objectified and feel shitty if, like you said, the dregs of society are always wanting to fuck them. But, like, from my point of view, it's the same thing, except the dregs of society always want to fight me. So what's really worse? Well, like people's dads. Yeah, like people's dads. Yeah, that's true. That's true. Can we talk about that for a second that Jess is trying to fight every dad on earth? Yeah, I'm making that a, I'm gonna make it a patron reward tier for a certain amount. Yeah. I will fight your dad. I will- I will fly out and we'll have a real fight and we'll be on YouTube and everything. You're gonna go to them. They don't even come to you. Yeah, it's gonna have to be a high reward tier because I'm gonna need a lot of money to pay for these endeavors, but it'll be worth it. If I can go down in history as like the YouTube guy who fights dads, that's a good legacy. This is great. Munchy goes out and captures them, you know, sets them up and then you fight them, you know, he sex them up and you knock them down. There you go. I think this is the first feature film in the PCP cinematic universe is that instead of Rocky, it's called Daddy, where Jess just beats up people's dads. Endless, endless Jess versus the dads. Yeah, yeah. Okay, well, I- Instead of the kid catcher in Chitty Chitty Bing Bing, Munchy is the dad catcher. Of course. Is that a reference that's lost on this generation? By the way, I did want to say about that, about what you're saying here, about the being annoyed by the dregs, like being objectified, I mean, I'm sure that's annoying for women to be objectified by people, but even putting that aside, even if you're not objectified, I'm just saying just the fact that people ever come up to you at all and, you know, it try to talk to you like people are boring and they're gay, and I don't want to hear from them ever. Oh, it's so worse. So just on that level, just on that level, like, yeah, you know, there are definitely advantages to being women, but that's definitely something that would annoy me because as a man, no one in my life has ever approached me with any proposition of any kind. Nobody gives a fuck about me. No, as a man, I just, like, constantly get approached with hostility and mockery all day everywhere I go. Like, women complain about, like, catcalling, like, hey, you're hot and you're pretty and I want to fuck you. Like, yeah, that would be annoying, but like, I walk outside every day and I also get people catcalling, except they're saying like, hey, faggot, like, out of a moving car and like, fuck you, buddy, screw you. And it's like, that's way worse. Well, when you walk around in your brony t-shirts, Jesse, a little bit of that is to be expected. I do not, no, I do not dress provocatively. I dress as like, I try to like hide my strength as much as I can. I wear like overcoats, like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, like I hide my fucking shell when I go out. Wearing, wearing a turtle mask. That's why, dude. I like that Nate is suggesting that Jess was asking for it based on what he was wearing. That's exactly right. Hey, how could you fucking fascist? Nate is that guy who's driving by in like cars with open windows going, hey, faggot, fuck you. I got that horn that's, Oh my God, it annoys me so much. It happens to me every time I go out. It's like, I really do dress like as normal as possible to try and avoid people looking at me. Like I wear like a baseball cap and like just a regular t-shirt and jeans and guys will like yell shot. And like I get so mad when people fuck with me that like I will fucking go out into the middle of the street as they're like peeling away and like, like call Drogo, like stomping around like, that's fucking, that's fucking shocking. I'll fucking fight all of you. I'm like fighting random cars that have nothing to do with it. I'm jumping in, I'm jumping through other people's windows and like driving after them and a whole chase breaks out. It's an adventure every time. You know, that's interesting, Jesse, but I have to say I have never been in any kind of serious fight in my life, nor have I ever even been close to that level. So I just wonder, do you think it might have something to do with your aura or perhaps just the place you live? Perhaps that place is just more hostile than the world that I grew up in and existed now. I think I'm just too, I'm just too handsome and strong. People hate me for it, the world can't handle this. You know, there was, in part six of JoJo, there was a particular stand called Survivor and its unique ability was really shit. Nobody liked it, but its power was that it made everyone around it a little more on edge, just a little more pissed off than they were normally. And what happened was like during the part where like that thing was going around, like everyone in this entire jail where the thing took place, they all started fighting because they were all just a little bit pissed off and then someone did something and then they all had a massive fight and it's a huge riot inside the jail. And I think that might be you, my friend. You might have some sort of superpower here. Yeah, I might. I definitely do, I definitely get people to a certain point somehow without doing anything. Have you guys ever done any sort of drive-by cat call either to a man or a woman, just yelling something at somebody on the street as you drive by? I've never done anything like that. Though I have done, you know, numerous like more like approaches, you know, and shit in my in my heyday. Well, I don't mean like hitting on somebody. Like the example I wanted to give was that back when I lived in Iowa, my friend Biggs, the only thing you would ever yell at people as we drove by them, they'll be walking on the sidewalk and he'll just yell, get a car. And that's it, just do it over and over again. To these lowly creatures without a car. We don't know if they don't have a car. They're just fucking walking. So that's what I guess. He strongly disapproves this. Well, I've never, I've never cat called anybody, I don't think. I feel ashamed. I should have cat called somebody by now. I should do it. I should go out and say, hey, baby, give me that pussy. You know, one of those. Does it work? One of those. Yeah. I mean, of course, why do men keep doing it because it gets results, right? I would assume that's the case. No, what you need is a wingman. So you got to drive and you got to like be holding action giraffe out the other window like, hey, baby, I got AIDS. I got AIDS, but this guy doesn't over here. I look like a hero by comparison. I look like a real catch. That's true. That's true. Or just a guy to just to like, you know, be the guy in the dark alley where the lady turns down and like she's like, hey, baby, I'm going to get in that. I'm going to get in that now. And she's like, no, please. And then I come in and I beat up my friend and then I take her home and we do the sex. That's that's a pretty solid plan to be like an alley man. Yeah, I want to be an alley man. My goal in life is to be like the mugger at the beginning of the superhero movie who gets beat up by the hero first. Yes. Before he has to fight the super villain. Oh my God, you know what? That reminds me of this is this is sort of relevant to what we're talking about. The what are the greatest moments in all of anime of all time is from it's called like something something Nietzsche Joe. It's not it's not Nietzsche Joe. It's like the it's the high school boy version. It's got like a longer name. It's like boys something Nietzsche Joe, everyday lives of high school boys. So there's a moment in that in that fucking manga or sorry anime where so like there's just like a bunch of a bunch of dudes like a bunch of Japanese high school kids are just hanging out in an alley. And they're just like they're like talking about like homework or like science. Like they're being like responsible mature students. And then all of a sudden like a girl walks in, right? Like a girl walks in and she sees these three like slightly rough looking dudes hanging out at this alley. And she's just like she steps down. She doesn't notice them. She sees them and she's like oh uh uh uh and they're just like what are you doing here? And like they're not they're just like hey what's going on? Like what's up? But she's like spooked just because she didn't know what she was walking into. Then all of a sudden like another dude walks into the alley like and sees this situation. He sees like this girl spooked by three guys and he says to it like he assesses the situation and he's just like I know what I have to fucking do. He steps up and he's like hey you three Ruffians quit hassling this lady. And all of a sudden these three guys who were just like super willing they were just gonna like help her get directions or like guide her out of there or whatever. They just look at each other and they know what they have to do. They're like hey man fuck off. We were gonna play with that bitch. She was gonna be ours. We were just gonna have a little fun. And they all began aggressing towards the guy. And so the guy is just like yes this is my chance. He proceeds to beat them up as they allow him to beat them all up. And they're just like yes this is what we have to do. They allow themselves to be beaten up and then the lady is like oh my god thank you so much for saving her from those Ruffians as the dude like escorts her out like haha I'm the fucking hero. And the guys just get up. They nod each other like yep we did it man. We really we were what society needed today. That's really inspirational. I want to do that. Isn't it? I want to set up a fucking heroes. Like a slip and jimmy wingman scam. Where I fucking pretend to be a rape boy. And if the plan goes wrong I just accidentally end up raping the girl because the guy didn't get there in time. Where were you? You gotta commit. You gotta commit. You made me a bad boy. Okay so we've talking about how great it is to commit rape. But let's talk a little bit more about how great it is to be raped. Well we need to backtrack Nate because we were listing all the negatives of being a woman and the things you would face. And we got lost in the catcalling world. So what are the other disadvantages? Okay well there's a real okay this is a real thing right. Women are physically. Is it rape because we just talked about that. Well not really but like women are objectively on the whole. Not every single person but they're generally weaker than men. So when you got a woman walking outside alone and like you're just doing whatever you know you're just walking home or whatever. And I feel the same fear. Whenever I'm walking out alone I'm like oh god everyone's gonna fucking murder me. But when you see just like any person you know there is a pretty good chance that they are stronger than you and could overpower you. There's at least a 50% chance because you know men or whatever. And if you know it's a man then you know this guy could be you. So like in that situation if you're like unprepared you don't have anything to defend yourself with. Like that person could push your shit in if they wanted to. And I don't know about you guys but I don't trust anyone ever. Whenever I see a cop I assume he wants to kill me. I assume he wants me dead. Oh yeah cops definitely. So I will just do whatever the fuck he. Are all serial killers. Like just as a cop has like infinitely or you know a more than enough advantage over me to kill me if he wants to because he has a gun. Like to a woman most men just have that advantage because they generally are just stronger. They could take you down if they felt like it. So just like it's a little bit spooky. You know being a woman out there. Just just being out there doing whatever you want. So like my female friends will generally tell me like and I've had some people I know I've had some bad series with this shit they'll just be out walking and they're scared because they don't want to die. They don't want to get raped. They don't want bad shit to happen to them. So just on a physical level you know that's a disadvantage. Not to mention the fact that of course women have a vagina which is a desired thing by most men. So like it's like a guy walking around has nothing to offer. Like there's no reason to like. Women have those. I've been looking in the wrong places. Women yeah. So like it's like women like have a diamond whenever they're walking outside that every man really wants. And like if a guy is pushed over the edge he might go for it. You know it just and I'm not trying to say men are demons or anything. It's just like I don't trust anyone. I have no faith that anyone will do the right thing at any point. And so I totally feel why women are spooked by this shit. All right Nate I got the ultimate solution for this problem. If we become women here's what we should do. It's a new invention. You might have heard of it. It's called the gun. You get one of these bad boys and you're stronger than anybody else because then you just shoot them. Yeah that's true. That's true but. I like that you keep using the word spoot to describe women who are about to get raped. Like a rapist jumps out and they they just do the uh they do the standing in place Scooby Doo run before they fucking flip top. You're oversimplifying the spectrum of spook right now because there's it's really a spectrum. It's really a spectrum. Jess I got a question for you. We know you can beat up any dad on earth and on the subject of female physicality I want to know who wins in a fight. Endless Jess or Ronda Rousey. Uh I'm gonna have to say endless Jess. Whoa. Bull fucking shit. I'm surprised. She was fucking kill you. Bull shit shut up. I'm sick of that fucking that like. It's true. That that any woman in any sport could be any regular man ever. It's all bullshit. You take you take fucking you take fucking uh the black widow from the Avengers and a regular fat guy off of from like a video store and the guy from the video store will win every time. I hate movies. I hate fucking this this just people just wanking themselves off about strong women. It's fake there's no such thing. Fuck Ronda Rousey. You can take the world's most. I beat her up. Take the world's most honorable Bushido woman. You know she's got her katana. It has been folded 20,000 times. So she's 20 times stronger. Jesus Christ. And all I do is I say hold I I put on 250 pounds. I become a fat piece of shit. I say hold my beer bitch and and then I've won. I have I have defeated her. I have defeated her yes. Okay. You know what pisses me off? Like if like if a guy did fight Ronda Rousey and he won he'd get no credit. They just like dismiss it as beating a woman. But if he lost that's true. He'd be even doubly mocked for it. Like oh you lost to a woman. So which is it? Is she on an equal playing field or not? Well she has a disadvantage you know. There's a disadvantage. Nate have you listened to uh biggest problem in the universe? I know Jesse only seven episodes of mean to finish it. Was there one of the episodes or was this a different podcast? Where they talked about like a trans trans woman. So like a guy who becomes a woman was in mixed martial arts and he like won a tournament and how that was bullshit. So that's is that kind of the same thing? Yes it's related. It's like the the practical way to achieve this. Okay so yeah the practical way to beat up women and still get credit for it. Hey wait a minute go to think of it. Why am I fighting Ronda Rousey? The deal was that I would fight Ronda Rousey's decrepit father. That was my thing. Well yeah I mean Frank you probably have a bigger trouble with her father. Jess versus Frank Rousey. Well okay so on that topic because I always thought that was interesting. So okay so like there's what is in fact the difference between men and women physically right? So there's there's a bunch of stuff. There's like hormones, the presence of testosterone. More like the hormones. Oh you nailed it dude. There's like bone density differences. Obviously there's like there's anatomical differences right? That's real shit. That's real shit. So so right now we know that we're not looking at the same thing. So if a man wants to compete with women and say that it's totally even like he's got no advantages like what we would say now what they do now is like they have them going like hormone therapy right to even the playing field. So they they haven't taken estrogen and shit and and don't take testosterone? Are you talking about the transgender AMA fighter or MMA fighter? Yeah that's what I'm talking about. I don't think he goes on hormones to even the playing field. It's because he wants to get a woman's body. He doesn't have to do with his job. Well but if we were trying to make it fair you would have to do something to address the real differences. If we wanted to make it fair we'd say you don't get to do this because you were born a man. Okay but there might be a way. Go fight in the men's league. Yeah I mean it's okay so at this point we got a couple categories now. So you've got men who are just men you got women who are just women but then there's I mean there's some clear gray area here if you're gonna be transitioning or whatever there's there's gotta be a way to account for that difference. Well what it is there should be a tranny league. Well like it's it's it works like Pokemon there's three stages like you go from like a man into a trans woman and then with the help of a thunderstorm you become just a woman. Yeah that makes sense. Why a thunderstorm? Um I don't know what a moonstone make more sense. I think so. A moonstone. Well if you're trying to become a man uh yeah you need a thunderstorm to become a man so you can become Chad Thundercock. Right yeah that's the one that's the one. Have you guys been seeing these memes incidentally recently that have been poking them in popping up of like uh how like the virgin stands versus how the Chad stands or how they sit. Yeah as it turns out I'm a virgin. I don't know whatever I fucking love them. Chad is my hero uh but anyway. Oh we'll get into that later when we talk about if we were women. Oh yeah that that's exciting that's exciting. Um I don't know uh that's that's been addressed I guess. Oh it's it's crazy man. I don't know uh like we could talk about like so so if you're actually transitioning from a man to woman IRL uh it's it's complex you know you would have to really restructure your whole fucking anatomy. Yeah and like your bone structure and you have to install a vagina which I think they do now at least to some degree. Yeah they do. Um but but but uh Caitlyn Jenner still is a penis. Just um just throwing that out there what do you think about that monkey. I think that's that's none of your business what Caitlyn Jenner Caitlyn Jenner yeah. I just want to say though what is my business is what pronoun I'm forced to use for someone that if they're gonna tell me I have to refer to someone some way then it becomes my business what what they are forcing me to do and um I'm just is it insensitive to say like you know if you're gonna make me say he or she or whatever like let's see some documentation let's see some proof that uh you know I just don't like being forced to do something on the other person's word because I don't as I've said I I'm consistent on this I don't trust anyone uh if you just look like a woman if I saw Caitlyn Jenner on the street would absolutely call her female because she looks that way no problem with that at all but if somebody who looks male comes up to me and just says hey call me she call me whatever then I don't think it's crazy to say like okay uh but why though like what's what's what's the situation here dude what am I what am I looking at here what are we dealing with here's an example of this that happened to me recently as we've discussed in the previous couple episodes of this show there is a recent uh the the tranny phantom massacre right the guy randy stare who shot up the thing he wanted to join embers ghost squad but randy is or was transgender so my friend bedhead bernie loved him to death but I think he made a tactical error on this he wrote up a script about the the the whole thing and I had to narrate it and when we referred or when he referred to randy in the script he would use they them pronouns which is very confusing because we're talking about one person so the comments were just it was a firestorm of who the fuck is they uh and like why are you respecting the preferred pronouns of a of a mass shooter like why would you do that that's a tough one that's a tough one I think a lot of okay now finish your point well yeah so like bernie's bernie said he wanted to do it professionally because he's making all these videos for his portfolio so we can get into college and all this shit but like in that case fuck randy stare fuck their preferred pronouns I don't care what you think you what you think you're a fucking ghost I don't give a shit randy's a guy a ethical quandary like um yeah like uh how like it's our generation's crucible to decide like what bathrooms uh trans people should use it's like our generation's crucible to decide should you respect the pronouns of a killer you know what that reminds me of should you like not punch nazis is another question on the table for our generation that's a big thing happening right now okay but but that aside you know okay just I think like any trans activist or whatever any person in the know would probably argue that like okay yes this guy is uh a bad person you know he killed people it's objectively wrong but like I I think what they would say is like we should segregate uh to use the inappropriate word separate but equal we should okay we should separate like a person's like gender identity from any crimes they commit and we shouldn't lump in like their their murderous tendency mental illness shit with their gender fluidity or confusion uh that's probably the case they would make what do you what do you think about that I think I'm still thinking about ronda rousey and how much when she fucking when she comes on like a talk show and like like conan o'brien or or whatever or like jimmy kimmel whatever like loser talk show host will like pretend to be like afraid of her like oh ronda rose is gonna beat me up all right come on and you're like six foot five what are you doing what are you all right i would i was joking before but ronda rousey would definitely beat your ass and would definitely beat most men's ass like i was just kidding before she would easily devastate any of us i don't care what anyone says a trained killer she's a trained killer dude she will fucking kill you i'm a self-trained killer i've been shadow boxing for 20 years like fucking old boy what the hell is shadow boxing i've been killing on the streets training i'm fucking probably like yes i get that you're strong but she has she knows how to fight if it works for old boy it works for me that's how i approach every situation in life you don't get a hammer hey you know on this issue of gender identity i did want to say though that um look look i'm i'm totally i can't beat ronda rousey then at least conan o bryan could definitely beat her go to the bryan's like 10 feet tall he's he's irish he's got that like he's got that irish that irish boxing stance from the 1920s yeah he does you can't step to that in an mma ring they outlawed that from mma because it was too powerful look he is an untrained uh twink fuck boy he would get his shit pushed in no instantly nobody on earth is stronger than conan o bryan we're working on we're working on invader zim logic right now like the tallest man is the most powerful it is has dominion over all he can lay his eyes on might so jeff would beat all of our asses then well i yeah is that why we kicked him out of pcb because he can kill all of us it was too much of a threat it was too much of a threat he was too strong okay but i was gonna say i'm about gender identity can we get serious and talk about how we would fuck all the guys in high school if we were girls yes but in one sec i just want to say about this because i really want to talk about that we will get we will certainly get there i've been joking about this a lot but i i do actually feel like okay so gender is is actually pretty crazy and there's legitimately people out there who who feel weird about it um i definitely think that like it's kind of a meme that people who wouldn't necessarily be into it uh are just kind of are just like yeah that sounds fun let's get into it i mean i have no idea how rampant that is but i'm sure that's there to some degree just like just like any you know trend or craze would be um but uh but on the just just to address this i i feel like it's a little bit of a of a it's problematic it's a little bit problematic that in english i know we don't have any real good way of addressing people that don't adhere to the binary of male or female so i'm just saying like i i i feel for people you know the fact that we have men and female bathrooms that you know that kind of sucks for people who who who are floating around somewhere in the middle so uh i have a legitimate sympathy for them but uh i don't put on but here's where here's my red pill and comes in on a practical level these people are the vast minority how much effort are we really going to put in to worrying about their specific and i know in a perfect world we would just bam put like an extra bathroom for everybody for everyone what fucking gender identity there is have an extra bathroom just for them so that everybody feels safe and at home but practically can we really be doing this guys can we really be fucking around with this i i think the solution is that we don't need more bathrooms we need one bathroom for everyone it's fucking hard that we have two in the first place you know you're absolutely a hundred percent right on that i mean think about it when you were three years old your mom would take you into the women's bathroom because you're too fucking young to go by yourself when i was a young boy my mother took me into the women's bathroom to take a mando shit yeah right i mean i didn't get traumatized walking into the women's bathroom when i was three so i mean realistically what's the worst i can have like everyone in the world you live in a house with women and you usually have one bathroom and nobody gets raped usually i did why the fuck didn't i think that before the problem the problem isn't that we don't have enough individual bathrooms to segregate everyone into the problem is that we segregate them at all right now that is the problem you know they should we should have co-ed everything it worked in starship troopers it you know that's my other got my first little baby boner to starship troopers so we know it's good philosophy in life if it if it doesn't work like it did an old boy then it must work like it did in starship troopers well thank god we just solved this massive issue for everyone i honestly if i'm gonna rape somebody it's not when they're taking a shit it's probably when they're not taking a shit you know i i like the rape after the shit because like the the passageway that i like to use has already been stretched a good way so you know that works for me that works for me wait if i'm gonna rape somebody diarrhea every time they go to the bathroom they're stretching that's lube dude and that's just the way i like it if i'm gonna rape somebody it's gonna be jumping out in a monster mask in that scooby-doo hallway with all the doors so that even if they try to fucking run away they'll just come through the other door and i'll catch them it's perfect i've been studying those scooby-doo running in and out of drawers chase sequence is my whole life i have cracked the code i become the master of them of these portals to different dimensions and now i could catch anyone during them all right monkey let's get into it how much you want to fuck our male uh high school classmates so here's my problem with digi bro's approach he wants to become a six-year-old girl and then fuck himself right right wait you know i might not be as traditional as most but even i'm thinking like okay digi you can do better than that if i'm gonna become a girl i want to be i want to be fucking yamada from yamada's first time i want to be a hot buxom uh blonde 15 year old high school girl and i'm gonna fuck oh i see every single boy in school i'm gonna get the reputation of the cock sucking queen my friends i'm gonna i'm gonna go to fucking college parties when i'm 15 or 16 i'm gonna fuck seniors in college fuck it i'm gonna fuck every chat i want to know because us as guys we only get to feel sex from our point of view oh yeah i'm plunging my dick into your puss whatever but it looks like she's enjoying that a lot more than i know i've always i've always looked the same thing yeah i think it's better for them of course it is i think it definitely is if the guy is like at all paying attention to what the girl wants then yeah yeah i need to know what sex feels like as a girl and i need to abuse it by being one at the very least it's definitely a different experience and i would absolutely love to experience it at some point yeah i don't think about it if you woke up i mean regardless of what gender you are now if you woke up tomorrow morning just as the opposite gender you could be like the only person in history who gets the true experience of both you cannot squander that opportunity that this is for all of humanity to know this information this is your responsibility to go out and fuck that was my problem with your name he wakes up and grabs his tits instead of rubbing that little clit bean all fucking day baby yeah it's true it's true i would definitely do that if i woke up in somebody else's body absolutely well are we talking about gender switching or body switching because if you wake up body switch in a different girl's body and you start you know fiddle in your diddle is that rape oh you know i was just gonna bring it down to be like okay guys we gotta talk about the whole respecting someone else's body okay but first of all how if you wake up and just it's your body only female then go hog wild dude do whatever you want to do but hell yeah if you are in someone else's body and you know this that raises some concerns and i i guess i would have to say you don't do it man i would have to say don't do it i don't think i could i don't think i could resist if if there's no way they're gonna find out you better believe i'm doing it because it's a victimless crime that's true well i mean that's that's entirely true and and i i don't hate victimless crimes are as you said victimless so it's not really a problem right yeah but like the objective if you're going for what's objectively the most moral situation i would have to say like really beyond like masturbation like doing as little with that body as possible is like the objectively most moral thing you can do because it's not yours to use really it's not like i mean like what are you gonna do lay there and poop your pants if you're in someone's body you're gonna have to see their pussy eventually you're going to have to you're gonna have to take care of it you're gonna you know what you ever if you wake up in a woman's body um some some other woman you wake up in her body you have a responsibility to play with your pussy first thing because you've got to figure out like where the tampon goes you gotta figure out like how to wipe it when you yeah you gotta know these things okay you can't just get to the bathroom and not know and spray and spray fluids everywhere i don't know maybe i assume they dab or at least or something i don't know you don't want no idea dude yeah girls only have one hole they have the cloaca or like a spider yeah or like a chicken right they just have the one hole that spews out everything they don't need anymore right that's that's how i understand it um i know we become women yeah because you know what that really is on the other hand on a practical level that really is something no one in history like like every guy in the world like every woman in the world has to like take every guy's word for it like what what sex for him is like what the orgasm is like like no one ever has crossed the boundary to experience the other side for no historical documentation it would behoove you to get in there and do that shit just so you can really say like okay they're different in these ways this is better in that way it would be better for everyone it would be a public service i like that he's taking a very scientific discovery approach and i just want to fucking flick my bean i i i always gotta come back to the to what's objectively right or true because that's the way i like to operate well you know if nate's taking the the scientific approach and uh and mumke's taking the base animal yeah physiology approach then i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna go ahead and i'm gonna take the emotional approach the spiritual approach because you know the we mentioned the movie your name recently uh a couple minutes ago which you know i i did a review of that movie in in my hit series the plebe and the weeb which comes out every week everyone loves it it's every week yep um hold on the most consistent show on the internet they call it um not my words it's everyone else's words um consistent quality maybe not upload schedule yeah every single week you know every twice a week monday and wednesday every week rain to shine um you know the the movie your name is like it's like my dream scenario because like uh oh no the guy wakes up in the girl's body the girl wakes up in the guy's body they wake up in each other's bodies and because of it they become lifelong friends they become yeah they form a genuine bond they learn about each other and and and it's just an unbreakable uh a union of love of love and friendship and camaraderie and that they can't even remember their names well they're out of the other shit though whatever yeah it works out i think they figured out at the end i don't really remember yeah well they just like find each other we don't know if they become friends all we know is he stopped her village from getting killed by a meteor you can see everything you need to know from the look they share at the end when you've been in another person's body you've been taking those poops you've been taking those peas that's a bunch for life nothing can break that i get my body back and like dude you wore this asshole out with all that pooping come on save some for me my dude save some for me um you know what i i like that approach jessie what we really got here we've got we've really got a triforce of approaches here we've got me the the triforce of wisdom monkey the triforce of courage and jessie with the triforce of power for sure yeah just just just feeling that shit out yeah i nate and jess i really if we can switch topics real quick i want to hear your day in the life from from wake up to go to bed if you are a girl and you're like a teenager okay how many cocks do you suck in that day well i do i know do we know that it's only for one day no no like this you're a girl now so what's the day i'm just a girl the typical day in the life but we should no we should also do like you're only a girl for one day what do you do with it that'd be probably better because like if i was a girl for one day then you'd know i'm slutting it up as much as possible hell yeah of course without a doubt without a doubt well you know i really have to wonder i have to ask because this is a variable that to me matters quite a bit in this situation am i waking up like in a random girl's body or am i waking up in the body of a girl that i personally know it's no it's going to be like a girl version of you oh we're doing real sexy i'm just a girl now yeah whatever you are yeah well first thing i do is is i'm figuring out you know how the clam works you know i'm getting down there with a with a fucking with a with a microscope and a fucking like a magnifying glass and i'm i'm going you know how do i work this thing how do i make a profit off of this thing and then i even i go out into the world and then i and then i i assume i just go out into the front lawn and go hey world i've got a vagina and then i just get money and fame and attention and and love that works pretty sure for the rest of the day your youtube channel will have like an extra 100 000 subs oh my god that's the first thing i do i think a fucking vlog with my tits out holy shit dude you know what you do you know what you do you make a mens rights channel as a woman that's what you do that's how you fucking win the game that patreon is going to be three thousand dollars in the first day she won head baby just that's right spend the entire day making nothing but like low top uh low cut top vlogs and then set them out on your youtube channel like every couple of days for the rest of time and then you can profit off that one gender swap day for the rest of your life yeah that's smart that's thinking that's thinking and also you can finger your pussy between videos hey yeah and you butthole too i mean you can do that as a guy but i mean that's totally yeah now but that's that's gay dude totally gay all right so we can only agree it's not gay to get fucked if you're a girl but what about kissing would you kiss a guy if you're a girl i well absolutely i mean okay well the thing about like okay so the thing about like female like sex in general is a lot a lot of the gratification comes from pleasing the other person right so like if you're kissing the other person or if you're like let's let's give a guy a bludge you know you're giving some bludge like what what is enjoyable about that experience that a lot of women you know like a lot of women legitimately do enjoy doing that it's that they're making the other person feel good so like for for for us in this situation that's us like a guy who's now become a girl like what we're getting into right now is pleasing a guy which is gay that's gay okay well super gay um i just want to get my pussy i don't care if he feels good okay well in that case yeah i mean in that case it's it's it's whatever in terms of kissing though you know you probably gotta that's the thing that you do to ease into it you know because like you can't you really you really cannot just come up to a guy and say i want to fuck because every guy will assume that you have an ulterior motive but that you got something going on with you like you're a weirdo you got stds something's fucked up with you you gotta you gotta pretend like you like are into it for some bigger reason we just gotta go up and say hey i'm actually a guy i'm in a woman's body this is for science we have to do this right now and he'll be like my god if it's for science he'll be into it this will be who the human race we have to do this that's a better case than just saying i just want to fuck because i i don't know i don't know guys listening at home if you ever wake up as a woman then you want to fuck go to nate and just say it's for science and you'll be down yeah say it's for starfleet i would definitely do that i would without a doubt do if i knew that shit was true of course there's my problem with kissing a guy if you close your eyes you could probably pretend it's a girl but if they got any facial hair i don't want that itchy shit rubbing up against me while we're kissing no way you know oh that's a tough one there's no way i couldn't be horny my pussy would be as dry as the sahara desert okay well we gotta address this fact we we got to address this fact like have we become attracted to men through the gender swap now are we now no i'm still me i have my brain i just have a girl's body okay okay all right yeah i was gonna ask like how much of my brain it has become girl like no what i thought about this a lot would boys still be gross to me i assume they would well okay you know what this is gonna make me sound 100 gay but i have i've always had a sincere appreciation for the male form and i do think that if i was all of a sudden a girl i could probably get myself into the headspace where if i find just like some really attractive guy i would just enjoy being around him oh god i'm fucking gay i'm literally gay i'm literally gay now uh i mean don't you guys have a list of yeah it's over celebrities who you would fuck right now as a guy i do if jake jill and hall came knocking on my door i'd be gay with him for a night fuck it um yes my list is my list is paul f tompkins and nobody else i would you know those mustaches mine's mine's mostly anime characters i'd fuck rance i'd definitely fuck rance he wouldn't want to fuck me but i'd fuck him if you want to you know i think if i were a girl if i were in a like i had a girl body for a day um what i would do what am i saying you know i would wait until like five minutes to midnight and then i would challenge ronda rousey to a fight and like yeah like like she'd be beating me up because i'm a girl like she'd think she had it in the bag but then midnight strikes i turned back into a strong boy and i'm like now i've got you where i want you to come bang bang bam bam and then i'm punching her i'm throwing her like over the cage wall i'm so strong now my man strength is out of control and i just get and then i get i get the trophies and the gold the belts i get all the the mma awards ever joe rogan comes out and personally congratulates me when he puts his arm around me like how'd you do it and then in the second round you turn into a guy and you really beat up that pack ronda rousey and i'm like that's right that's right rogan i did it praise me bow you gotta get a millennium puzzle and pretend that you're yugi transforming yeah yugi halfway that's good oh man that's good that's good yeah i've always i've always had a fear though about this that what if you're what if you know you just get lost track you're just you're just orgasming over and over you get fucked by you know every tom dick and harry up the block my biggest fear well it's it's that you're you transform back at midnight right but what if some dude is you know balls deep at that moment and you transform and now you got now you got a dick permanently fused up inside your body which is definitely gay you'd be like attached at the dick like siamese bros exactly yeah isn't that the plot of the movie stuck on you i hope so is that true how true is that go watch that movie yeah with with matt daemon and drill bit taylor i don't know the special guest appearance special guest appearance by ron the rousey as the bitch who gets beat the fuck up by every man by the two by the two conjoined at the dick man she thought she was fighting a woman but midnight struck and the woman turned into two conjoined at the dick men one played by matt daemon and the other played by the character drill bit taylor not oh and wilson the world fuck wow i don't remember that being mad daemon that's crazy have to rewatch that shit it actually has positive score on rotten tomatoes what the hell does it really yeah 61 percent the other guy was greg kenny air don't know who that is i wonder what bubble boy has in rotten tomatoes i'm gonna let that up yeah let us know let us know who could forget bubble boy fun fact bubble boy is zack aliphanax's first movie he plays the the bus take up guy that's fascinating you know i always loved um in uh in the movie juno uh what's his name uh michael sarah not michael sarah it's you know the neither of them it's a bit character from the very beginning uh you know the guy who played the the nerd fuck i can't remember his name from um mclovin the american not mclovin the the american office you know i'm talking about uh ryan not ryan who's the fucking weirdo creep dwight of course dwight the character who plays dwight is in the very beginning of that and as uh as uh fucking juno is getting her pregnancy results she's just standing at the counter i guess she just pissed on in the bathroom he's looking at and he just says your ego is prego and um okay it was uh the greatest line of all time it's pretty funny pretty good dude pretty good uh uh oh oh my god would you get pregnant as the girl as the girl that's the fear because i want to slud it up for that day but then like am i pregnant as a man the next day are my eggs oh my god uh what happens i yeah i always have that fear of uh spiders crawling in my ear at night and then laying eggs and like filling my brain with eggs and i am the spider boy under their control from ever forever uh same situation you know wait a minute terrified terrifying i think what would happen is if you got impregnated as a woman and then turn back into a boy i mean you would now have the fertilized egg inside you but it would be like in your dick or ball sack region like it would be in you which means that you would be shooting out the fertilized egg you could theoretically fuck a hole in the ground and grow children from soil that'd be i was hoping for a more uh uh fuck what's that arles swars an agar movie where he gets pregnant daddy daycare no that's not the one junior i think it's called junior i believe it's called uh terminator two in case you were wondering bubble boy has a score of 30 on rod and tomatoes sorry jake jillian hall now 30 doesn't mean that it's only 30 good 30 means that 30 of people gave it like 10 out of 10 100 percent oh really by falling down niagara falls in a bubble yeah i i i'm definitely all 30 of those percent when i was a kid i had three vhs is that me and my brother watched over and over again we had bubble boy we had max kiebel's big move and we had race two of the three we should not have been watching rat race is a masterpiece hell yeah masterpiece we could do a whole episode on rat race any movie that ends with an actual smash mouth concert is a certified fucking masterpiece yeah get fucked john cleese um oh there you go all right my only exposure for the majority of my life that john cleese was fucking rat race and not like monty python is that true oh no that's not anything else i thought it was just the guy from rat race that is sad uh fucking good monty python good good movie good holy grail uh upvoted top top top pick on reddit uh okay i i don't know what i'm doing okay here we go uh i feel like we've exhausted are we done we got any closing points to make about this whole gender swapping thing so i guess if you wake up as a girl and you want to fuck go fuck nate and also carry a gun and uh don't try to fight ronda rousey i think that's what we learned today which you can do immediately when you change back any man can beat ronda any woman who wakes up tomorrow as a man the first thing you'd better do for scientists go wait ronda rousey shit you know i i felt like we didn't really talk enough maybe we should right now just about the whole thing about being a woman turning into a guy like what you can expect what what can your average woman expect when she wakes up as a guy the next day you know because we're gender inclusive here we want to i um i think get ready for uh all the attention all the all the all that people giving a shit about you gone oh it's gone don't don't don't expect any person ever do anything for you ever again nobody gives a fuck about online dating you're not gonna get any results at all that that's correct that's correct zero messages in fact don't leave the house because the world is a nightmare now don't do it yeah every every woman becomes a man for one day and like halfway through it she's already like on all the mra boards and all the like men going their own way boards she's done you can't take it anymore she hasn't she hasn't at the years of training that we have to get to this point alive be excited women when you go to work as a man you'll get an automatic 30% raise i was gonna say that god damn it yep yeah 23 23 cents on the dollar bam in your pocket day one they're like oh my god we've made a huge mistake we didn't realize you were a man all i realize you had a dick here's the extra cash that's how works folks it's just that easy um that's that's why i really feel for the the the transitioning community from uh from male to female just when they you know it's it's it's tough enough for the surgery now it's it's tough enough you know just going through the process of all that but then when they just walking to work one day and they're like my pay oh no 20 77 cents of the dollar you know it's it sucks they're sorry sorry dude that's corporate policy what can we do that's just how it works that's just how it works obama wanted it here's some benefits going pee it's gonna be kind of fun now you don't have to get your butt on that dirty toilet seat you can like fucking sometimes in a like a restaurant or a bar they'll put a little fly sticker in the urinal so you can try to aim at that and that's kind of fun yeah um what else we got uh sometimes you get to go off easier now yeah you get to go pee in a trough sometimes with like all your buddies put your arms around each other and like sing songs while you do it and sway back and forth uh that's fun that's i don't know if that's a positive you get the holy you get the holy jothers dicks you know that's that's that's what we do at the old trough uh if you jerk off in the shower you can like uh see how how far you can shoot your common market with a sharpie and see if you can beat your last record the projectile come thing yeah that's that's a big one that's a big one um what else we got what other benefits are there to being a man in an american society today other than having a dick i i this is a big one this is a big one you can be fat and nate won't hate you intensely immediately you know that's that's a good one that's a good one that's pretty good yeah no no joke though like fat women it's they have it way worse than fat men and that is kind of sure though you know on on the one hand like that's kind of true but but like women's okay like well what does it matter if you're an if you're an unattractive woman because well okay i mean it does to some degree because it's all about uh you know like whatever being attractive whatever uh so like you want to you want to fuck somebody right you want you want to get catch yourself a high quality man but there are tons of men who will still fuck you even if you're fat yeah but if you're a fat guy i would say that it's harder well i would say that there's tons of fat guys who have who have hot female wives there's Peter Griffin there's Homer Simpson you know there's uh king of queens uh yeah don't forget king of queens hmm the greatest man who ever lived king of queens i don't know what his name was in the show you know what it really is it's that women are because men are visual creatures like our appreciation of women has more to do with their physicality than a woman's attraction to a man which is more about personality and confidence and shit so yeah you know i guess in that way yeah you can't be if you're a woman you can you can be fat now and it won't be as big a deal that's true that's true what the fuck else you got uh oh you will be expected here's a negative you will be expected to carry shit for people who are smaller than you or all women or all women you'll be expected to carry their shit now if uh or hold doors you know i mean that's less that's less prevalent these days um oh my god you will now have to deal with the nightmare of feminism in general hating you hating you in every way so that's that's that sucks that's you can be elected president no matter what you say all right over a woman you can you can grab pussy freely now you know you are it's the door cart blanch for grabbing pussy as we've learned i think that's about it i can't think of any other benefits of being a man yeah me neither dude oh oh oh you can have sex without personally getting pregnant so that's that's a nice one you don't have to worry about that at all anymore you might still get std's but uh you will not be the one who gets knocked up for months or have to deal with the whole you will be the one who knocks yes and yeah i think that's it i think that's it oh wait i forgot the most important one you can now become a catholic priest that's checkbox oh you can now be in god's in god's corner that's a good job's fired in eight verses the catholic church look out uh not a fan not a fan oh wait oh you can now move to saudi arabia and drive you can now drive in saudi arabia i forgot about that you can now Saudi arabia and not wear a fucking scarf on your head and that doesn't mean that's a i mean we're we're down with the hijab now that's a feminist icon it is why why the fuck it's very confusing i don't know all right i think that youtube is lucky that they banned me from uploading on my main account for two weeks because i got this uh mumkeys declassified sharia law survival guide video and i'm gonna take the internet by storm uh here here's hoping for a 10 billion views uh and and and a glorious new caliphate in the west all right so there you go uh all right let's go to the questions already let's uh let me only do the search thing okay hashtag ask pcp by the way you guys could feel free to do this as well if you want i know monkey does sometimes yeah you tagged me in the tweet so now i'm getting all these notifications so thanks for that okay you're anytime dude okay here's a question from uh shade i don't know if you guys have ever heard of this guy no a little known guy he wants to know why does jess hate spiders so much oh what am i tweeting about this this morning or something that's probably why he's asking all these people are so fucking unoriginal and reactionary you know just because that was shade who fuck shade that's did she's little brother shade like emcee she do yeah that's that's emcee shady this must be a different shade um oh how many shades are there i don't know fifty shades of gray you could say um i hate spiders because spiders are fucking ugly they're monstrous they're hideous they're gay they're cretins they're scum they have no fucking backbones literally and figuratively um they're weak um and you know people say they're not dangerous but that doesn't mean they're not evil if if you know you take the smallest most harmless spider if they were bigger if they were big enough to eat you it would so you know spiders are evil and they're ugly they've got too many eyes and too many legs they've got tiny little hairs and they're they crawl on you they get on you they get in your hair they spin webs the webs are gross um and do i really even need to justify this uh fuck spiders um you know what even ronda rousey could beat a spider that's how much i don't respect spiders all right people uh people always make the case that like yeah but spiders eat other bugs they eat mosquitoes and they eat flies and they eat other shit uh i'll just kill them myself yeah i'll just kill them myself so what kind of defense is that they're worse than the things they eat i would rather have a mosquito on me than a spider you know what um that's actually a tough one because i i hate mosquitoes so much i i hate them more than spiders for sure i want every mosquito in the fucking world destroyed they are they are going to kill us one day mosquitoes are going to be the downfall of humanity because they're gonna they're gonna suck blood out of some some fucking aides super aides boys they're gonna transport it all over the fucking world i don't care if they revive the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park i don't care that's not good enough that's the only thing that a mosquito has ever done that was even a slight positive they're they're evil i fucking hate mosquitoes so i'm on team spider i guess i hate mosquitoes i just i i respect mosquitoes a little bit more because when a mosquito lands on you like yeah it's annoying but you only have to feel it landing on you when a spider lands on you you have to feel every leg crawling up you slowly it's just it's just touching you a thousand times as opposed to a mosquito which touches you once i mean i'll say that's true touching a spider web is worse than touching any of these things i'd rather fucking die than walk through the forest and get a big spider web in my face and if there's bugs in there then you're even more fucked well the the only reason that i get freaked out by that because of the is because of the presence of the bugs in the spider web no but i i guess that's kind of your point so yeah yeah that's pretty shit like i freak out because i i'm like assume there's a spider on me now so really the problem is the spider uh spider i just think the spider the the web itself feels all silky and gross and sticky on your face and i just i just wanted to walk through the woods and and peek on this bath house over there and now i gotta worry about this shit and you know all the spider fags are always like uh spider silks a thousand times stronger than steel but how come i destroy it effortlessly with every fucking checkmate checkmate mother fuckers there you go fuck all fuck all spiders fuck that slut charlotte fuck that fucking fuck that french bitch and james and the giant peach i don't even care i would i don't care how sexy her face is the rest of her is an abomination yo you know who's hot rock rock nara from monster musume she's the best because she's fucking i would sex the only good spider is spider man and the good part of him ain't the spider part it's the man part it's the man the muscles and the dong spider dong no it's all right just another quit yeah i got another question for you i'm glad you two are here because you tour the the pcp experts on this subject mark morella wants to know what is the bare minimum age to count as sex with the young the minimum age it's not it's not a it's not an age there is no minimum it's a state of mind that's true like when you got when you got your choice as you know 45 year old milf if you got her dressed up in her baby bib and her diaper that my friend is some a whole school sex with the young right there that is the official um um fucking the the non-incriminating stance yeah it's all in the mind just like just like just like my hero an older person who is retarded does that count yeah that'll count you know if they act like a baby if they look like a baby and they act like a baby and they smell like a baby then it's sex with the young just like my hero chop chop master onion said uh sex with the young it's all in the mind what a hero my hero uh i've got a question here um from athio at pterodactyl says should entertainers bring their girlfriends along for the ride no what are you guys what do you guys think absolutely not and that might seem hypocritical coming from me but here's the thing i gave her her own channel and i only put her on my channel when i need a woman and she's like the closest one near me i'm not bringing her along for any ride i'm giving her her own platform on sheep over go check it out gonna post a link down in the comments okay i'm saying is you you ain't gonna give your girlfriend a ride i'll give her a ride i'm gonna ride you know what i'm saying no i'm saying my dude now um yeah i pretty much think uh that's totally appropriate yeah if you're if you're already doing something and you're just trying to like like the whole yoko ono situation is like the classic one you don't just insert your bitch into like the thing that's already going on if you want to make something new like what ben's doing with his new channel with his girlfriend that's a okay that's perfect that's exactly the right thing to do if you if you got to create a people and they want to be doing stuff just yeah just don't fuck up the shit that's already there i will only time defend my use of of of girls in my videos thusly sometimes i need to go outside and i need a cameraman i need someone to film me that's the first reason and you know the thing is that when i do like stuff like my panel cast you know uh the my girl is like she knows about comics so i at least i keep her where she belongs on a thing that is in her field you know i i assumed that she was not going to be any kind of expert when you first started the panel cast and said she was gonna be on i was like oh boy here we go but then she was like more knowledgeable than you in some ways and uh that was yeah she's a she's a solid asset she's reasonably vital to that endeavor and i was just gonna clarify the only time you're gonna see a girlfriend on my main mumki channel is when i need a woman to be used as a prop that's all she is to me is a fucking prop excellent excellent and you know what jesse was saying uh yeah like uh i hate that i have to make all my shit by myself like because i always want to live action stuff and it's really fucking annoying and i've adapted so it's not a big deal now but like uh god i would fucking love to do more live action shit like you like you're fucking zelda video jesse which i assumed you filled with with flusia all over the place it was great it was uh it was awesome if i had a person around to do that with i totally would and also god damn our let's plays just a whole lot easier to make when you've got someone to bounce off of and converse it with you know what in fact i take back my whole stance you should always have uh a second put all your girlfriends all your boyfriends all your friends in there put your whole family in your videos make a whole a whole production out of it that's how you get the real good content that's how you get the youtube success and the youtube bucks you got to have a bunch of people working for you for nothing for peanuts yeah you can do it with relationships that's what you did that's right before you seduce someone into helping you work there you issue people have is when i like with the Beatles you get your girlfriend in there and then like Nate was saying they completely change the content like for example with a vgn he got his his wife involved as a producer on the movie and then the movie ends with like the other guy getting the girl for no reason yeah it should have been fucking james right why the fuck didn't he fuck that bitch the girl didn't even talk to the black guy the whole movie and then they're kissing okay the the movie should not have had the girl or the black guy at all they were totally worthless characters that's a given i did not see it but i mean you know for all we know i mean i don't know shit about these guys or about the production of the movie but like from what i've heard it sounds like like like monkey was saying the the wifey here she had some input she had some like she made some changes along the way and who the fuck knows exactly how drastic those were what they were at some point yet you really if you're a creator do not let but and it's kind of inevitable because like whatever people you hang around are going to change the way you think like you're your friends to some degree define how you think and like that's why we're also angry all the time that's right talk to pcp guys all day so it's like if you're just like some dude from the midwest or whatever and you move to california like you're gonna adopt that mindset over some it's gonna happen like like tim heidecker i think it's kind of an example of that oh he's just getting more and more you know he'd be moved to hollywood and he's just getting more and more you know liberal and yeah i don't i don't really begrudge him i disagree with him on some of his points but you know that's fine but you can see his mind changing you can see those changes happening and uh like the the thing with yoko was like it she actually wasn't really as far as i know i'm no expert on this but i she wasn't like forced into like the beetles or anything it's not like lenin was trying to bring her in to like change the beetles but what she definitely did was change john himself and so like he and like it's it's hard to say like what what are you gonna do like tell your friends like break it with his girlfriend she changed him from a serial wife beater into a guy who respected his spouse what a fucking bitch how could she do that that that was a big problem if her ruins the music then it's a terrible thing on the face of mankind yeah yeah can't disagree with there but you know yoko ono makes some good stuff dude i loved her uh her latest album which i believe is called like do you ever listen to her perform live she's a fucking nightmare but anyway um you know it really grinds my gears um you know when it's just really gratuitous and transparent how like guys will be like oh i'm this is my show and here's my girlfriend now and it's like it's almost like they're using her as like like a sports car or a trophy to like show off dude not to i can have sex with girls i gotta i mean girl you know to some degree there's always gonna be a little bit of bullshit like if you get a girlfriend and for whatever reason you're talking about something where it's relevant and even when you do that little mention because it's pertinent to what you're talking about there's going to be some people who are like oh here we go we're shoving in the whole girlfriend thing i guess that's the sundegrees unavoidable that's that's the takeaway just keep it relevant don't uh don't be gratuitous and transparent and gay with it don't be gay in general if you've got you know nobody wants to be that couple just don't do it you know you know what this reminds me of uh did you guys ever see uh probably not fucking uh jeff's videos where he started having his girlfriend wear his merch and shit i'm just saying that's uh yeah he was playing it off as a joke but but still i've never watched a jeff video ever and i think okay the monkey approach only put your girlfriend in the video if the whole joke is that you're abusing her and that she's too stupid to think of groceries that really is like the funny way to go like nobody is if you're a comedy boy nobody's laughing if you're showing off your girlfriend just like just showing her off like that's not funny and people are be like what the fuck you're wasting my time bragging about the shit so yeah you got to make it funny like mumke did which was great the the the wife abuse thing was was wonderful um okay here's here's another question at uh greg berry ant asks uh how do you keep yourselves motivated enough to work for more than a few hours without taking a break i constantly get distracted and i have a i this is a question that so so it's really funny to me this question like motivation questions when i was young i had such a hard time focusing and um i was never able to like concentrate very long on anything and even when i was in college and like i was starting to do things that i sort of liked which was game design um like even then i found it agonizing to like force myself to like oh fuck okay i'll try to do like a puzzle design today or whatever or like program this thing so like things were getting a little better but what i found is like i didn't level up or or increase my skill at this at all the only thing i ever did to get better at this was just find things that i inherently liked doing it was i basically cheated the system i just kept looking around until i just found out like you know what i fucking love making videos uh and like during the tbap days when me and ben would just like bust one out every week and they were pretty fucking great like it was so easy to just do that because i really wanted to do it so unfortunately i don't have any practical advice for this but i would say just find something that you actually like doing and maybe it's just a like a variation on what you're trying to do now that's all i got maybe you guys have some more useful answers to this how do you stay motivated question i wasn't paying attention it was it was basically like how do you stay motivated without fucking getting distracted or taking a break oh shit i'm the wrong fucking guy to answer that one uh yeah i think what helps me is that i am a bit of a fame whore and i the whole time i'm thinking oh man if i put this up it's gonna get seen by at least five thousand people baby gotta get this sucker out so if you're like an up and comer and you have no audience i can imagine it's very hard to be motivated to work because you feel like you're doing all this work for literally nobody because nobody's watching so if that's this guy's case which i don't know who he is if that's your case i can't help you i have no idea what you can do well you know i think it makes it keep your eye on the prize is what you're saying right you just just just imagine even if you're not like immediately getting i guess what you're talking about like instant gratification right you put it up bam five thousand people see it feels good you get those responses get those upvotes it's nice like you get those downvotes if you're doing a podcast with sigh which is better than an upvote because that means it's not that they're supporting me with a little click is that they're going against sigh with a click which feels much you know what i you know what i would say i would just say like you just gotta value what you're doing like when i when i started like my current channel best guy ever like the the current login videos like literally six months each to make them or no the first one was three months second one was six months holy shit at the time at the time they got like way fewer views than they deserve and now that i'm like growing a little bit they're starting to get more views they're like basically a hundred thousand views which is like a healthy amount of views for like a lifetime video so i'm more happy with that but at the time like well what kept me going at the time was just how much i needed to complete this project the project itself is what made me want to keep going and i felt there was an inherent value a a need that was served by me creating this thing and i feel like it did that and i feel like that's why people like it so like at later on you can just do it for the for the views and for the clicks but at the very beginning at least you have to have some sort of artistic vision uh which which i would recommend going for something like that i don't know that's work for me but i'm sorry totally cut jesse off yeah i i never really feel like unmotivated i think uh in terms of motivation i'm always like yeah i'm gonna do what i want to do because that's i'm cool and that's what i do but i definitely do get distracted a lot um i always am i working on like a like a dozen things at once i've always got a bunch of vegas windows open and there's always like like a like a a new episode of a show that i want to watch or like a podcast and then once you start watching something you fall into a hole and you start watching you know you just fall into like a youtube hole or like you lay down on the couch once what once you're on the couch it's fucking over the day is it's over that i'm sure that's a trap so um you know it's it's hard to stay focused sometimes so uh a couple months ago i tried adderall for the first time oh yeah oh yeah that worked out yeah like and i was sold at like oh this is a this is a is a is a drug it's not for you it's illegal that i'm selling this it's you know you should be taking this but it'll make you like super focused and super you know into your work and i'm like okay i'll take it and i took one and like it definitely worked but like the thing is it didn't feel like i've achieved like a a different state it felt like maybe i'm supposed to be on adderall maybe this is how i'm supposed to be working so that's my advice is just take adderall yeah you know i mean you're laughing but i i'd back up that recommendation i took adderall once in high school and i was in pre-calc and i couldn't figure out this fucking pre-calc shit i took one adderall and i taught myself that that whole chapter in less than 20 minutes is that true is that actually true i could i could feel like my brain was a fucking locomotive i could feel the engine of the train revving in my brain i could physically feel it no and it felt great i laughed just because it's funny but no i'm actually i'm totally on board for any of these kind of like like treating the human body as like an engineering problem to be solved with like fixes or drugs or like yeah man you don't like you start speed forcing and burst linking you can like you can do anything when you're on adderall it's a miracle drink you know we've done we've done so many episodes of this show like giving advice to up and coming like aspiring creators who look up to us but all our advice was wrong the only advice that matters if you take anything from this podcast just take adderall yeah the only reason i don't wholeheartedly agree is because uh because i'm i'm i'm engineering focused if the adderall perhaps introduces other issues for example just one that's possible is if taking adderall gives you this high of ability to create stuff that there will follow of course a subsequent low where you're off of it and will that make you like unable to function without it at that point or like yeah i know i'm not being fun i'm being serious right now but like um well luckily i didn't take it enough to get addicted yeah luckily i'm so if it's possible to just be on if it's possible to take adderall i can only afford like two pills a month so yeah well that's good if it's possible to like for everyone to be on adderall all the time and literally all it does is make everyone better at everything that i would be 100 on board but um yeah i just gotta watch out for those consequences that's all yeah that's all well i mean like i every time i write a script or record a let's play i'm drinking am i gonna be dependent on drinking probably but do i care no well i mean if you don't care that's fine i'll just keep drink i mean rolling rock i got it because i was like oh a vgn he's pretty funny maybe this is magic funny juice and it actually take it tastes exactly like water but has all the benefits of alcohol so i really i endorse rolling rock if you can't afford adderall go get some rolling rock it's great if you can't afford them both then yes definitely mix them mix as much as everything from from from daddy's medicine cabinet throw it all in a big tincture just mix depressants and narcotics together all the fucking day don't do that don't die if you want to die at least pledge to our patreons before you do that's smart that's smart just be responsible with your money invest in your future um all right so there you go that's that's that is there any other decent questions here let me see oh my god here's one okay this is actually very personal to me uh at mozilla fennec and hey dude what's going on uh asks so what are good ingredients to put in oatmeal i'm trying to become more of a healthy boy dude i eat oatmeal every breakfast of my fucking life i'm a fucking oatmeal expert and i know exactly what you need to put in your oatmeal to make it delicious okay here's what i'm doing right now i'm so i'm so i'm so excited he asked this question yes i'm all about oatmeal okay you get yourself a big bowl of uh you get you get the big thing from from quaker oats the old fashioned oats you pour a fucking cup into a bowl and uh here's what you do you put frozen strawberries from the grocery store you just pour a whole like a fucking fuckload of those in there you cover that thing you want you want to have a lot because it's going to be this the taste is dependent on those you just cover that thing with water you you fuck you pour the strawberries pour water it doesn't matter how much just put a bunch experiment so you get the right amount maybe do a cup or whatever the strawberries have water in them already and then you just microwave that you do that for two minutes you stir it up you put it back in and do another two minutes and then bam you got perfect oatmeal now if you are a weak boy what you can do is you can just put some sugar in i would recommend like one tablespoon of sugar that might be a little bit too much but something like that and then you just mix it up and bam that's immediately delicious and perfect if you want to be an even more of a madman what you can do is you can put brown sugar in and butter you could just put brown sugar and butter if you don't care about like it's going to be more fatty this way more more calories and shit brown sugar butter do all the same steps just don't put in the strawberries or you put the strawberries you fuck them onto it guys that'd be fine too bam there you go that's perfect that's all you need to know folks that is the that's the best way to eat oatmeal i do it every single day of my goddamn life the strawberry one and um there you go there's a solution there you go all right we're done do you guys have any oatmeal suggestions no i'm the kind of the little dinosaur eggs in it yeah that's really for fuck what i said just get the dinosaur eggs okay we're done uh no more good questions uh thank you for the questions yeah everyone's gonna piss out all this rolling rock i've been drinking the whole time wait what we what is this now this is a shitty question now okay i'm sorry i'm gonna ask this last question uh at at art mark 88 asks about the Wonder Woman film do you think the area's reveal should have been an end credit scene no it shouldn't have been in it at all yeah it was terrible yeah yeah i didn't yeah we already talked about this is the last episode didn't we did we did we talk about this fucking i don't i don't know okay fuck i don't know why i felt like answering that i forget it abort abort question uh mark you're dead to me okay here we go we're all done uh thanks for listening everybody make sure you send us more questions or you know father fucking uh do the thing at uh tp procrastinators on twitter and use hashtag ask pcp to get your questions answered here and uh subscribe to the youtube channel of course which you're probably already watching and pledge to our patreon uh patreon.com slash the procrastinators to get all the fucking bonus episodes i think there's three now you get into the secret patron discord where like everybody all the pcp guys are in there and like even just today just was offering to beat up people's dads if you want your dad beat up yeah possibly from discord throwing a buck or two those people they contributed to the podcast and if your dad is ronda rousey you get into the discord free because i really i really want to crack at that dad if your dad is ronda rousey so if ronda rousey wants to be in the discord she's in for free all right ronda you're in buddy okay thanks for listening everybody we'll see you next time bye