 I'm not what I think I am. I'm not what you think I am. I am what I think that you think that I am. Today, we're gonna be talking about how to reprogram your personality, because all too often people think this is my personality, this is who I am, this is who I am stuck with, this is who I'm going to be the rest of my life, and I'm here to tell you that your personality, who you are, who you think you are, is one of the most malleable things that are out there in the world, but you've been acting as if it's a piece of concrete and it can never change. I am this way, I've been this way since I was younger, I'll be this way forever, and I'm here to tell you that is absolutely 100%, not the case, and we're gonna talk about it. And I wanna tell you this before we even dive into it, is that you are wearing a dirty shirt. You are wearing an old, dirty, torn, worn out shirt. You are, I am, we all are. And what exactly does this mean when I say you're wearing an old shirt? Well, let me explain, I was watching Queer Eye, the show with my girlfriend, and if you haven't watched the show, it's a real good show, where they go into someone's house, they fix up their house, they fix up their personality, they fix up their wardrobe, they fix up their look, everything, and there was a show that we were watching that they had an Asian woman that she was sitting there, and she was talking about how she's just always been this way because she was taught when she was younger that she wasn't pretty, and she just held on to it. So somebody told her at one point in time in her life that she wasn't pretty, and now she's in her mid-30s, and she is just under the assumption that she isn't pretty. And the reason why is because of something that she was told when she was a child. And I wanna talk to you about that because all of us were basically given a shirt as a child and told, put this on. And what happened is we put it on, and we decided to put this one on for some reason, and we've been wearing it for a long time, even though it doesn't fit us anymore. It doesn't reflect who we truly are. It's dirty, it's gross, it's torn, it's never been washed. And she was told that she was ugly, and because of the fact that she was told as a child she was ugly, she believed it. And every single day she basically put on her ugly shirt and thought, well, I guess I'm just ugly. And so even if she grows up to be beautiful and amazing, she's still going to think that she's ugly because she's still what? She's still wearing that shirt. So I want you to realize that all of us are given a shirt at some point in time. We put the shirt on, we wear it, and we think that that is us. Not realizing that that version of us, I mean the version of you right now that's either sitting or watching and listening and seeing this, the version of you right now does not have to be the same version of you in five minutes. You can be a completely different version of yourself. And that's what really tricks people out because they think, well, I am who I am and this is who I'm gonna be forever. So the question I have for you is, what shirt are you wearing that you have outgrown? Think about that. Are you wearing the I'm not good enough shirt? I'm not smart enough shirt, the ugly shirt, the overweight shirt, the never be good enough shirt, the I'm not good at math shirt. What shirt are you wearing that doesn't make any sense? And by wearing this shirt, you're creating the reality around you. Now you've heard me say before that your thoughts create your reality, but this shirt that you're wearing changes the way that you interact with people and the way that you interact with people changes the way that they react to you. So let me give you an example. Somebody could be ugly as a kid. I wasn't the best looking kid, right? I could be ugly as a kid. And let's just, let's not even take it as me. Let's just take it as in, let's say that little Johnny is ugly, right? He's ugly, he's told that he's ugly when he's a kid, maybe a kid bullies him. Maybe his alcoholic uncle tells him he's an ugly little kid or a pudgy little kid and he'll always be ugly the rest of his life. Maybe his parents say it, whatever it is. And he puts on this shirt, this ugly little boy shirt and he wears it the rest of his life. Now, even if Johnny grows up to be looking like a model, he's still going to have what? The confidence of somebody who is ugly. And so we've all seen it before. We all know somebody, excuse me, who is a great looking person, but they don't carry themselves the same way that a normal great looking person would. You're like, there's just something off. And you can tell that that person doesn't have a lot of confidence even though they might be good looking. What's happening is little Johnny could be this beautiful man, this handsome man, this model-esque looking man, but he's still wearing the what? The ugly shirt. And so what he's doing is he's going out and interacting with people, wearing this ugly shirt. And when you interact with people with less confidence or you act differently, their reaction to you will be different. So what's happening is those people are actually reflecting Johnny's own beliefs of himself and he can't get out of it. He's wearing this shirt. He thinks a certain way about himself. And because of the fact that he thinks this way about himself, he goes out into the world and people react to him in a different way than if he went out there with confidence, with swagger, with being, you know, I'm here. I'm good looking. I'm going to dominate the world, whatever it is. Cause we know when someone walks the room and they're confident, you know, when a confident person walks through and they have this feeling of just confidence that's there. But Johnny, for instance, might be wearing the ugly shirt even though it might be great looking, might be going out and not be confident at all. So no matter how great he looks, he's carrying himself a different way and people will treat them differently based off the way that they are. Another example of that is the overweight shirt. You know, all too often there's little kids that are overweight and they are given, you know, somebody says, oh, look at this chunky little kid. He's so cute with his big old cheeks, whatever it is. And they hear that and they put on the fat shirt. They put on the overweight shirt and they wear that shirt forever. And they don't think, and you know, because of fact that they're wearing the shirt, they could be 35 years old and overweight and they've always been overweight. What happens? They say to themselves, once again, they go out into the world with the habits and traits and interact with people as an overweight person. So an example of exactly what I mean by this is somebody could say, listen, I wanna, you know, smoke could be 35 years old. Let's use Johnny as an example, but instead of him being a ugly kid, he was an overweight kid. Well, now he grows up, he's 35 years old, he's overweight and he thinks to himself, well, there's no reason for me to work out because it's just in my genes. My whole family is overweight. You know, I wanna be healthy, but there's no reason. I just don't have the genes for it. There's no reason for me to eat healthy because of the fact that I've always been fat. So why would I eat something healthy when I'm not gonna not be fat? Because all I know is being fat. And so they're overweight and they're wearing the overweight shirt and going out into the world with the overweight habits and traits not actually ever changing those. And, you know, diets have never worked for me. They've never worked for my family. And so there's no reason for me to put effort into it. Now, that might be the case. Maybe your family does have, maybe there is something in your genes that makes you a little bit overweight. It doesn't mean that it's impossible. It means it might be harder to lose weight, but it's not impossible. Nothing is impossible. The actual transition of who you are into who you want to be is not impossible. And so you have to think about that. Am I carrying this shirt with me that I need to take off? This ugly shirt, this overweight shirt, this I'm not good at math shirt because I failed a math test in second grade and I put that shirt on and now I've been failing classes. You know, I failed all of my math classes. I failed all that was so hard for me to do because I put on a shirt in second grade when I failed that first math test, right? I could wear the son of an alcoholic shirt if I wanted to and say, oh, yeah, well, I'm just the way that I am because my dad was an alcoholic. It's a really great story around this about about two twin brothers. And those two twin brothers basically, they grow up. They have an alcoholic father when they were a kid. They're two identical twin brothers and one of them grows up and he becomes a successful CEO. And the other one grows up and becomes an alcoholic and they go up to both of them and they say, why are you the way that you are? So they go up to the alcoholic and they say, why are you an alcoholic? And he says, I'm an alcoholic because my father was an alcoholic. So then they walk up to the successful CEO and they say, why are you not an alcoholic? And he says, I'm not an alcoholic because my father was an alcoholic. Both of them have the exact same circumstances but they're wearing different shirts. Not one of them is wearing the victim shirt of, I am this way because my dad was this way and I will forever be this way. That is my mom's biggest fear is that I will turn out to be an alcoholic because they say that there's an alcoholic gene which I'm just calling bullshit on. I will never have it. And if I have it, it's not gonna affect me. Like that's just my overall thought of the entire thing in general, right? So it's not like people are like, oh, well I'm an alcoholic because my father's an alcoholic and his father's an alcoholic. Well, same with mine. My father's an alcoholic and his father was an alcoholic as well. That's being broken with me, right? So I put on the shirt of, I will never be an alcoholic and I'm not going to let that affect me. In fact, I'm going to use this instead of something that holds me back, something that propels me forward. So what shirt are you wearing? Excuse me, because none of it is true. None of it. The only thing that is true is what you accept as true because when you accept it as true, you're gonna go out into the world and you're going to actually go out and take actions and have the habits and traits of X, Y, Z. Whatever it is that you're actually believing yet. But you, if none of it's true, why are you still waking up every single day and putting on that shirt? Does that shirt serve you anymore? Or is it time for you to go out and get a different shirt? Think about that for a second. What if you just decided to put on a different shirt and not put on the same old, I'm just overweight and I'm gonna be this way forever since you were six years old and that first person called you fat and you finally had the awareness that you were bigger than other kids and you've just perpetuated that the whole time. Because now that you know you've been putting that shirt on, now that you're looking in the mirror going, oh my God, I have this shirt on, you can change it. If you were wearing the ugly shirt, little Johnny, he's just ugly. If you were just wearing the ugly shirt, how about you wake up and you put on the I love myself and I'm beautiful shirt every single day and you look at yourself in the mirror and you tell yourself a hundred times, I love you. I love you for all of the flaws, for everything. I love you. Because we all know somebody who's not good looking, but they've got just confidence and you're like, how in the hell did that happen? Like we all know somebody that's like that, right? The reason why is because they decided not to put on the ugly shirt. They decided to put on the confident, I'm going to conquer the world shirt and what I look like doesn't matter and what's crazy about it is the confidence makes them even better looking. That's the real crazy thing about the whole thing. If you're wearing the overweight shirt, why don't you just put on the I'm going to lose weight no matter what shirt. I'm going to diet. I'm going to not even diet, I'm going to eat healthy. I'm going to eat healthier. I'm going to take out certain parts of my diet that I know I should have taken out a long time ago. I'm going to eat healthier. I'm going to go to the gym a few times a week. I'm going to hire a trainer. It might be harder for me than the average person, but damn it, I will do it. Why don't you put on that shirt? This is also just so you guys know this is the reason why people lose a bunch of weight. Like somebody can lose a hundred pounds and then gain it back is because they can get very, very routine and disciplined for an amount of time and lose a hundred pounds, but they never actually take the shirt off. So what do they do? They eat a couple extra cupcakes. They go to a drive through and they know they shouldn't. They do this over and over and over again. It's not like they gain, you know, they lose a hundred pounds and they gain a hundred pounds back right away, but they lose a hundred pounds. And then three years later, they back to the same size that they were is because the shirt never actually changed, which is how they view themselves in the mirror never actually changed. It's the same reason why people who are, you know, they say the, you know, poor get poor is because poor is a mentality. You know, I've been poor. I know what it's like. Poor is a mentality. I know a lot of poor people. I know a lot of rich people as well. Both of those are mentalities. It's the shirt that they're wearing. Oh, I'm poor. My whole family's been poor. We've been like this forever. We're always going to be like this. That's a shirt that you're wearing. You could take that shirt off and you can change it anytime. You know, the I'm not good at math shirt. Excuse me, going crazy today with my cough. The I'm not good at math shirt. Okay, so you might not be great at it. Doesn't mean you can't improve at it. You know, when I remember what happened with me and I'm really good in math and really good at just seeing numbers and just doing them. And the reason why was because I remember in third grade, I switched to a different school. So between second grade and third grade, I switched from a bad, I switched from a bad school and a bad part of town to a better school and I guess a better part of town. And when I got to third grade, I realized that I was a lot stupider than all the other kids. And we had these things that were called split classes, which means that my third grade class, my teacher actually taught second grade and third grade. So there were second grade kids that were smarter than I was. And they were really good in math. And we used to do this thing called the math minute. And literally I remember this. The first math minute that I did, there would be all of these different equations. You know, it was like multiplication, addition, all that stuff, whatever you're doing in third grade. And I remember going through them and I got destroyed. Like everybody finished it. You were supposed to finish this fast you can and the person who finished the fast, it was a winner. And you try to, everybody tries to get it done in a minute, right? I remember I was terrible at it. So I had this little thing that had, you know, you would push, it would say one times one and you push it down and you would say one. But you couldn't see it until you pushed it down and say one times two and it was a graph that went from one to, one times one to one times 10. And then it went down to the bottom for 10 times one to 10 times 10. And so literally from one to a hundred, all of those numbers you couldn't memorize. And so I went through and I literally remember hitting that thing and memorizing and memorizing because I was like, I'm not going to be beat. I'm not going to be stupid anymore. I remember literally thinking that and I went from terrible at math to really good at math only because I was fed up being stupid. I didn't realize it then in third grade, but I was just changing my shirt. You can change your shirt at any point in time. What else do we have? Alcoholism runs in my family. I'm not going to wear that shirt anymore. I'm going to wear the, my father was an alcoholic. I'm not going to be a damn alcoholic shirt. That's the shirt that I'm going to wear. There's a really great book that's called Psycho Cybernetics. It was written a while ago and it's been a while since I probably about 16 years since I've read it. I remember my very first mentor told me to read it and it's about a, the whole story is about like in the early years of plastic surgery. There was a plastic surgeon. He would notice that people would come in and he would fix something super small on them like a, you know, like a mole or just a tiny bump on their nose and he would fix it and then they would come back, you know, after their surgery, a few months later, whatever it was and they would be a completely different person only because he removed a mole. And what he realized, what it, it wasn't the actual mole that was, that was, you know, holding somebody's personality in place. It was someone's perception of themself that held them back in place. And so he would change this little tiny thing about somebody, they would come back and be a different person with more confidence, you know, more outgoing. They just look him in the eye, they shake his hand more and he realized that it had nothing to do with their physical appearance. It had everything to do with their perception of themselves based on their physical appearance. And so the book, Cyber Cybernetics talks about that and realized that surgery wasn't even actually necessary. What was necessary is people's own perception of themself changing. So the question that I have for you is what shirt do you need to take off? What shirt have you been wearing your entire life that no longer fits? And you know what? Probably we didn't even fit in the first place and it's dirty and it's worn out and it's keeping you in the same place perpetuating the same habits, attitudes and traits that you've been doing the exact same way your entire life and it's time for you to take off the shirt and put on a new shirt. So the question I have for you because we all have shirts we need to take off and put on a new one. What shirt do you need to take off? Think about that for a second. What shirt do you need to take off? The next question I have for you is what shirt do you need to put on and replace it with? Now here's the thing that we all need to know. You're not gonna wake up tomorrow, you know, having thought that you were ugly your entire life and wake up and you're just gonna put on a I'm beautiful shirt and you're gonna think that way forever. No, no, no, the brain likes to fall into old habits and traits that it's been doing for years and years and years. It's very easy for the brain to continue to do what it's always done. It's very hard for it to start to change. So you actually have to change the shirt every single day and you have to change your perception every single day and you have to be very diligent on changing your perception of this. It won't change in one day. It's a complete reprogramming but here's what's crazy when you do something over and over and over and over and over and over again, your brain actually starts to change the chemicals in your brain and actually change the structure of your brain and when it changes the structure of your brain it changes the function of your brain. It's called neuroplasticity. So you can do this every single day, every single day, every single day. If you think I'm ugly, I'm ugly, I'm ugly and you wake up every single day and you tell yourself a hundred times in the mirror and you look yourself in the eye and you say you're beautiful, you're beautiful, you're beautiful, I love you, I love your mistakes and you say the same thing over and over and over over again 100 times every day for the next year, your perception of yourself will 100% shift because you are actually making chemical structural and functional changes in your brain by doing that. But you have to be very diligent on it. So two questions here and I'm going to actually go really deep with you in just a second because we're not done. Which shirt do you need to take off that you've been wearing for way too long? It doesn't fit you and probably never did. What shirt do you need to put on? Now, the next thing I have to ask you, which is going to mess a lot of you up, sorry to do this to you. What shirt are you making your children wear? Think about that for a second. You have been giving your children a shirt their entire lives. Everything that you do and say to them, your perception of them is changing their perception of themselves. So what shirt have you maybe unintentionally be given your children and you didn't even realize it? I want you to think about that and I want you to ask yourself, what shirt do I need to give them? Maybe I've been giving them a shirt of you're just not good at math. Maybe I'll be given the shirt of, yeah, well, you know, our family is just overweight. That's the way it is. And then they're overweight because of their perception of themself. Maybe you give them the perception of, yeah, our family is just not that athletic. Our family is not that smart and you're going to be the same. What shirt are you giving your children? What shirt would you prefer to give them? Now, if you don't have children, what shirt are you giving out to everybody else? Because here's the interesting thing. And I don't want to dive into in this episode because it can get to a whole other episode on song. Um, there's a very, I think it's Calvin Cooley that says this. He says, um, I'm not what I think I am. I'm not what you think I am. I am what I think that you think that I am. So we actually build ourselves in our personality based off of other people's perceptions, our perception of the way other people perceive us. So your children aren't just building their own personal reality, personality off of themselves and what they see, but they're also building it off of what they see you have, how you interact and talk with them. And so does every person that you love that you talk to every single day. So you're handing out shirts every single day as well. By the way that you treat people, the question is, is it the shirt that you want them to wear? So there's a really great quote that I want to leave you with that the Buddha said and the Buddha said, just as a snake sheds its skin, we must shed our past over and over again the same way that you have to, the snakes sheds that skin you now need to shed that shirt. Hey, thanks so much for watching this video. If you want to learn even more about master your mind, click right here and watch this video as well. If you believe that the world is going to, you will see all of the ways that the world is going to.