 Hello everyone, welcome to the being human podcast Scott St. Marie here. We're talking about negative emotion and thoughts today So if you're a human being listening, oh We all have them. We all get them. Let's put negative in quotation marks first If you have that kind of carousel mind, you know, this video might be for you Just that cyclical nature of thinking may we get into a rut of what ifs and negative thoughts In the right you're a piece of garbage and you're never gonna be a good person because you failed that exam And then your boss hates you. You're gonna get fired. Oh my god I just want to sleep if that's kind of where your mind can go Let's talk about it. And we have a question from a subscriber. Oh My gosh, I'm actually scared of clowns We have a question from a subscriber and if you have a question just comment on YouTube because we're gonna be doing this in the podcast And or send me an email. Okay, so Scott I want to first say that your videos are helpful. I haven't watched all of them yet I've been going through them from oldest to newest Second thing I want to say is that you don't have to answer my question in the podcast if you have too many of them I won't get mad Anyways, here's my question. How does a person not let negative feelings get control of the mind? Your videos are not letting negative thoughts convince a person that they are true has been very helpful The problem I have is trying not to let negative emotions get the better of me Emotions are not facts is what I have been told but they can still ruin my day. I did meditation. They still win out Ah So notice first that We're in a black and white world here Like negative and positive negative emotion positive emotion I did the meditation they still win out So with emotion we're at a win or we're at a loss Know what I'm saying here. You know where I'm going with this. We were popped out of the womb real quick depending on what your mom went through and we entered a world and Automatically, it's polarized Audit like look at what the internet is everyone. I'm bored of the internet I am bored of my phone and we're gonna do a separate episode on what that means for me And I just like to discuss who else is feeling that But it's all polarized either you got a girl with 16 abs in a bikini on the beach With a briefcase of a billion dollars saying my life is awesome Or you have someone on social media saying I live in poverty. I need help I deal with mental illness my life's a catastrophe I'm in despair. Oh my goodness talk about the quote-unquote Win and loss the polarization that we see all the time And I know in my life. This is translated into the way I think to It has It's hard not to when you think about what we're always exposed to and it's not to say that Oh, I'm gonna put my kids in a soccer game where there's no winner or loser. We all get ribbons. Oh Oh Slap them up. No, that's not what we want to do. But when we talk about you my friend It seems like you want control of the mind and you want control of emotion master Emotion and hey man We can do certain tools and exercises to help with that one thing is to do things in spite of how we feel Create distance and space from those emotions like we did in that event We did a few weeks ago. I invited people on zoom We did a certain meditation together to distance ourselves from those and then to go about our days but To answer your question, let's just do this. How does a person not let negative feelings get control of them? I'm gonna Google negative Emotions look at negative emotions list comes up Okay, let's see what's here. A few of the most commonly felt negative emotions are fear, anger, disgust, sadness, rage, loneliness, melancholy, and annoyance like Depending on how often you feel these things depending on how you express them depending on your Relationship and how you actually perceive what is happening in the mind and body I See no problem with sadness isn't why would I am not calling sadness a negative emotion in my life? I'm not even calling fear or anger negative These can be powerful tools guys. I Was again, I was did I I don't know if I started the intro with this I I was at the Lamb of God concert last night Lamb of God Megadeth Trivium and in flames. It was so Frickin awesome Horns up mosh pit everyone in it was the most beautiful thing. I love going to heavy metal shows It's beautiful. Everyone's there and they don't give a shit and they come out of their caves and they're all decked out in piercings and studs and oh my gosh and the music is Powerful It's powerful. You have people putting their hands up and me. I'm in the mosh pit And we're singing to 512 lamb of God. It's like my hands are painted red My future is painted black and everyone's like I can't recognize myself I've become someone else my hands are painted red and then they play ruin and everyone's like fear pain hatred power See I can't even do it power Screaming these words if people letting anger out emotion out in a healthy way through music like that through community And you create something as a group That was not there in that amphitheater before It's like the beauty most beautiful thing and the reason I'm telling you this man Is because I started to tear up multiple times. I think the buddy I was with did too I think we looked at each other at one point and we're like, yeah, this is it man Wow and if I had a a very controlling mind in that moment and One that seeks only negative and positive What do you think my thoughts would be there me tearing up and crying at a heavy metal concert because it's beautiful You bait a male You sensitive dick, what are you doing crying at a concert get a hold of yourself God? This is a negative emotion. What are you doing? Why are you feeling bad? What is this? What happened to you? Get in the pit get it together so I Didn't think much of it. I was just like this is beautiful and I'm at a concert and I can feel whatever I Whatever comes up So you're wanting to control the mind and when we control something we grip it And I can tell you in a later episode. I'll probably talk a lot about this Jesuit retreat I went on a few weeks ago when you grip when you want to control something Grip it and you want to spin it each way and you want to lift it up and lift it down and push it side to side It's like if you have a bird lands on your fingers. There's this awesome forest in Markham And these birds just land on your fingers because they're so used to people if giving them food and they just flying land on your fingers and To listen to the song of a bird. I need to let it Just land on my finger and let it do its thing and then it floats away and continues being a bird But if it lands on my finger and I and I want to control it I want to keep the bird and I want to move it each way and I'm like sing Tell me tell me what you sound like now sing. I got a grip on you your mind I can control you. It's not gonna sing its song. It's not gonna do what it's intended to do and with emotion We kind of do that we're kind of like okay. I'm feeling something, but I don't want to so I'm gonna control it by doing something else Distracting myself wanting to feel something different shaming myself doing all of these worksheets listening to a meditation and You're in a win or lose because if you do all these things and you feel the same way you feel like you fucked up If we release the grip a little bit on emotion if we Are a little more gentle man if we're a little less hard on ourselves in these moments if we're not living in a black and white world where Polarization of hot bikini model person in poverty where all the people being like yeah life's good life's okay Yeah, bored some times and I go to work and I come home and I garden and I watch Netflix And that's the day and I'm going to die and that's it it Like we're all those people that's the vast vast majority is 95% But we see both ends we just see when in loss So maybe try to see your emotions when they come my friend a few things take a breath Maybe don't call them negative right away say hey, I'm feeling something here Maybe ask what it's trying to tell you gently What are you trying to tell me? What's up? Maybe nothing maybe nothing but feel it regardless feel it fully Because what we resist persists, right? So if we keep resisting the anger and if we keep resisting the sadness and we're always that Positive person good vibes only hi guys come to my party. It's in the middle of a pandemic people are dying I just lost a limb and I'm on crutches, but life's good Like you don't have to be that You can literally Create a bit of distance from the emotion be gentle with them loosen the grip and When you judge it less harshly you can live beside them What's that Gordon Lightfoot lyric? It's um It's so easy to live wait No, no, sometimes I Got to look it up Gordon Lightfoot It was called oh so sweet off his latest album. Oh so sweet. Oh Man, let's see sometimes I oh there's it Sometimes I remember Here in raindrops fall Feeling my love breathing alongside of me This is not so nice it ain't easy to live with no tears of regret, but sometimes it was oh so sweet so You can have like this this feeling of love breathing alongside of you That's awesome, but to create distance from emotion You can have these emotions breathing alongside of you Maybe that anger is just a little beside you as you go about your day and you try to understand it But you don't judge it. You don't get concerned and dive into it you kind of Release it a little bit release the grip from it and let it be there Let it be there and see what it's like to just go about your day a little bit What's it like to not have to worry and be concerned about how you feel There was that that zoom call we did a few weeks back with people And it was called creating space for anxiety and depression And we did a meditation to create that distance and I hope we'll probably do more events later, but um Listen man, I know I'm going in circles and I know I'm doing a saying a bunch of stuff the the whole summary here and for everyone listening Loosen the grip Loosen the grip a bit When has every anything gone completely the way you planned? And So at this retreat I was With this uh with this priest and and uh, he said you know scott The easiest way to make god laugh is to tell him your life plan Yeah And maybe another easier way to make him laugh too is to tell them exactly how you want to feel all the time Ah You know So be easy with yourself Don't like to let the emotions get you and win Don't think of it as a win and loss Think of emotions coming Feelings of all sorts long big spectrums And they hit you from time to time and you can decide to understand them at certain points Decide to maybe distract yourself at certain points Decide to go for a run if you're angry listen to music if you're angry talk to someone if you're lonely Sit with them alone To feel them out You know work with them accordingly Depending on the situation you're in I think we just get so caught up with these freaking Like not to bash any other podcast or anything But the reason I stopped reading all this psych literature and looking and reading other Uh, or sorry listening to other podcasts about psychology and what to do with negative emotions And how to deal with this and what's the best way to deal with negative feelings and how to not Uh, just shut up just Work on it yourself and see how far you get And then if you need a guide there are millions of guides and podcasts waiting for you to listen But we get so Involved in living the best life the happiest life. We need to do it right We need to win win win win win and we got to do it so we win every time Is then if we fall short of that If we fall short of the happiness if we fall short of the euphoric feeling if we fall short of the raise of the promotion of the Of the success of the friendships of the relationships if we fall short from that we are nothing short of a fuck up That's all we are Be gentle It's not black and white It's not just sunshine and darkness It's mostly in between And we got to learn To know that sensation and feeling of when we're the in the in between It's a good place to be it's a fine place to be I hope that helps dude and thanks for uh, yeah, thanks for For watching and thank you for your question and thanks everyone else for popping in Uh, this is the being human podcast all links in the description Ba ba ba subscribe and I'm going to go What I need to do today Meeting at three. Oh, shit. That's in five minutes. It's 255. Okay. Yeah. All right. See everyone and thank you very much We'll see you next week or whenever I post and stay fresh. Stay juicy. Be calm Ew, why did I say be calm? No, no, no, no I meant be gentle with yourself and love yourself regardless of these these emotions that pop up. All right. Bye. Bye