 You you let me believe that it's okay that I got five kids and 40, but I make it a hundred thousand dollars So now I deserve to be with you because I want to sleep with you Well shit, tell me that no most men won't You have a 50-minute your DM's doesn't mean you're a catch. No You having a thousand men in your DM's does not be your catch Honestly, some of the most catchiest people are the ones you would never expect facts Listen, it's the message right here Like boy tell me how you really feel Because I just want to build with you black girl. Tell me how you really feel. I Want to keep it real with you. I want to live better eat better I want to love better sleep better. Yeah, I want to feel so aligned you're taking attributes of what He has going on in his life and you're applying it to your life as Maybe you're not a peacock. Maybe you're a penguin. You're using what he took And applying it to your own life. You think most men do that? Yes Except give me an example I mean it's a thousand times over even if we're just speaking of like A beauty influencer that I watch She was talking about the difference between when she goes out with her natural hair versus Long leave in the different approaches that she gets from each interaction She's less likely to be approached when her natural hair is out versus when she's got hair down to her ass and it's a different color It's the small things like that that Make it harder for women. I feel like to believe that You aren't acting like a peacock Well, I mean the the question is the question would then be like What kind of men does she get that she attract so she attracts less men with natural hair But what kind and caliber of men are those and then she attracts more men with this long slick hair What kind of caliber of men are those? That's true. I have no idea, but yeah, no it is and I think again Between the colors and between the natural hair and those are two totally different topics because we could talk about that all day long because I do feel like Even in 2022, there's still a large gap when it comes to stuff like that. So Yeah, and I think part of the problem too is Some women who complain about these things They complain about it because they're not attracted to the men who they wouldn't have to complain about it with Like you're not attracted to the guy who likes who prefers your natural hair. So like That's why a lot of times it's disconnect because it's like I don't have success with black women and I love them in their natural hair But she's over there in the corner complaining about future not liking her with her natural hair. It's like why don't you go where you're Celebrated by black men. Yeah I mean, that's a good question. That's a good that's a good Statement as well like when it comes to that kind of stuff because you're right Sometimes that guy who wants the natural hair isn't hitting on what the woman may want but again it goes back to Pop culture and how you feel and all this stuff because there's so many It's crazy that we were taught when we were this little not to judge a book by its cover But then we do it every single day in our lives. So I think the The notion of somebody actually enjoying the hair that grows out of our head that we've had to create things Like the crown act to make sure that we're not discriminated against on it's just very like I want to say it's confusing It's very confusing because how do I know you actually Truthfully like this and it's not more Than just a fetish or something like that But I just I feel like there's so many layers when it comes to stuff like that I mean, so the the fetish thing, you know, you can make the argument future who likes slick hair is fetishizing that So It's it's it's gonna be like the kind and caliber of man that you're going towards But I want to segue that into, you know, the 10-year challenge Have you have you seen a lot of these pictures? Yeah, in my experience, it may be yours is different 90% of girls I've seen and fell off. Yeah a cliff And most of the dudes I've seen have gotten better. They they they've started they got some swag They their glasses are off their beards connect now And You're hearing about a lot of hey big head Yes, yeah But the the the the girl who was the baddie back in high school like What's going on? Wait, what? What's the deal with that? Well, again, we talked about The romanticizing I feel like sometimes for women After they've gotten like you said when you get to the ring when you get to the wedding you've won And then I feel like for a lot of women. That's it We start having kids and I just look how I look and you better accept it I really have seen that happened before, you know, you see women all the time with short hair and They just don't wear bras and they just look however And I think sometimes that happens because like you said, they've Reached their top level of what they think is right as opposed to men I feel like I don't really know the answer for that part But I feel like I can speak to women who have either lost themselves because they've reached their highest level or They've accomplished what they wanted and they've gotten what they wanted and they're comfortable because if we're gonna impact that too Being comfortable in relationship will have you out here fucked up Because you look like who done it and why you think he's gonna be down to the ground because you just are like My man gonna love me regardless Think about it Think about the girl who married her high school sweetheart. It doesn't happen often, but When it does maybe she lets herself go because he's loved me since I was 15. How would he ever stop loving me? And that's why you have to continue to date the person and like realize that this is not the end But I think that's the I think that's a disconnect I feel like when we were talking about hierarchy women sometimes feel like they reached their highest level as opposed to a man who Doesn't have that same You don't get as a man I don't feel like you get the same kudos for being a wife or being a husband and being a father You don't get that Not at all. Not at all. It's like in prison now. Yeah, exactly. Yeah so You know going back to when I was saying like you can't tell me shit these days um It kind of ties into love me as I am and and it doesn't matter how I look whatever whatever whatever a big thing right now Is body positivity A lot of men are sick of it They're tired of it. They they Feel like women are offering us bullshit on a plate And expecting us to eat it like it's a five star meal. Yeah Explain that to me. What's going on? body positivity That term can can turn into such A toxic behavior so quickly that I don't think we're realizing it Yes, I should be positive about my stretch marks and my roles and my whatever But also Am I being healthy about it because that's what you mean? That's why they're sick of it because they're just like I look like this. I don't need to fix it. You need to love me regardless And that's not the case Because even now like in my personal experience, I'm like, how did you get here? and I feel like sometimes People in general get to this spot of like, holy shit. I'm huge now. But this is body positivity because Whoever named celebrity insert celebrity name Says that they look like this and it's okay for me to look like this and I feel like sometimes body positivity just is One it can be a good way to connect the community of people who need to be connected because As women there's a lot of pressures to look a certain way and to be a certain way and to be perfect It's slim and no cellulite. But also It creates unhealthy habits and it also takes away accountability Which I know is why sometimes men get tired of it because it's like you're not even holding yourself accountable anymore for taking care of yourself because This is real life. Like if you don't take care of yourself, you could be dead tomorrow. So I think that's why I think the other problem that men have with it is it's it's very one-sided Oh, definitely because I can look like that but you can't look like that Or you can't be short and you can't have a little dick or you can't have a light voice Or you can't like so I can still Your beard got to connect but I can be 300 pounds. Yeah, so like wait What do women need to do? What do men need to do in terms of body positivity? Yeah who Oh so women Again, I feel like a lot of what our standards today are based off of these Artificial people that belong on social media or that are from social media Because that's where a lot of I feel like the idealisms of like what you're supposed to be and what your partner's supposed to become So one get off social media go look at normal people because that'll help you As women probably just accept the fact of Your type may not be who you're right for who's right for you um, I feel like Even myself I romanticize a type of man for so long And as soon as I let that shit go Other things happened So maybe he is short. Maybe he is bald. Maybe his dick is tiny But honestly like they say it's about the motion of the ocean not the size of whatever um, and then for men I think it's going to take up on both sides understanding understanding that like This woman isn't just saying body positivity all the time just to You know sugarcoat when she's going through her to give herself an excuse She's saying it because there's something that she needs your help with And on both sides, you know I feel like though for women A lot of it is more Image based on what images we see out there versus men They get You become a list men become a list at all times He can't like he said he can't be short. He can't be fat. He can't All these things so I think that's the difference and I think that it all just takes understanding and just Really knowing What and who you're getting involved with I think that's a really good point Especially like you you you put some of the accountability on women, which is rare. So I commend you on that Oh my god, yes So I think you're in a unique position to answer this question because you work in the media space Why is Mr. Kevin samuels Yes famous he's famous because He says some shit that nobody else would say if you think about it if you look at our long history of media It's always the people who say things out seemingly to be outlandish That become the famous ones Um now whether I agree with his opinions on everything Is another story but He's famous because he's just gonna say it. He's just gonna do it and there's people feeding into it How is he gonna tell me what a man wants from me if he's never been a woman, you know And there's people feeding into these theories about him or whatever and then You're not seeing what his life is like either He's just a man sitting in front of the computer. We're all just listening to it Like sometimes sometimes honestly Do most women know what a man wants? No So Why would he need to be a woman to be able to tell you what a man wants? Oh, let me see. Why would he need to be a woman to tell you what a man was? He wouldn't but again, we have to get out of this generalization thing Because we generalize what a man would want and what a woman would want I don't know what you want. You don't know what I want But if I'm going based off of this dude sitting in his house to tell me how to get a partner It's already messed up from the beginning because It's individualized per person, right But that I would agree with you if It wasn't the case that if you pulled 10 women To explain their ideal man, they would they would Explain the same dude yeah too popular phd who makes six figures and in six foot tall Yeah, so so if he fits that or if men who fit that are telling you what they want Why wouldn't more women listen? Because you're saying okay, so you're saying the list and that all 10 women may have the same list But they don't know what they want We're just Fantasizing just like the man is fantasizing what you want. You don't actually know what you want because One thing for certain is we're chasing these ideals of people When you don't even know what their soul looks like like you just literally just out here like oh He got a big dick and he got money. I got to be with him, but you don't know what he's like for real so the idea of Any part of that whether it's Kevin samuels or a controversial woman speaking It's bull I believe But I mean from from my point of view, it seems like that's what he's saying Yeah, it seems like you know, and what a lot of men understand is that 99 percent of women want one percent of men That's true And because you want one percent of men Here is what those men want so if you're really interested in that one percent of men This is how you become attractive to that one percent of men. So He also says that, you know, for example, the average of best girl She was saying that after she became a dog rumor and started making six figures She couldn't respect her boyfriend or the men that she dated who made $30,000 a year So and that that was why he was like your average of best because he was essentially saying that The men you want wouldn't want you So why aren't you more invested in why aren't you more interested in Building union and partnership with the men you qualify for What's the problem with that? You say qualify for Oh my god But you tell me you say qualify for and you You know say she's no longer attracted to her boyfriend because she makes 30 he makes 30 000 and she makes six figures Why won't she qualify for Someone else or someone higher up because the curriculum is different Her going from making 30 000 to 100 000 doesn't make her a better catch for a man who makes six figures No And just I mean and you know men understand that if I want Halle Berry I have to make a certain amount of money Right, but for some reason women don't understand that in the reverse They think that if I'm if I now make six figures it doesn't matter that I'm 40 with five kids Six for the men should now want me when men don't grade women on the same curriculum as as women grade uh men I feel like You're kind of right. I'll agree with you just a tiny bit. Where am I wrong? I also well Because you have to again look at what we're in right now I literally can go on instagram Look at a dm From some random dude And he'll be like I don't need to see your face. I just need to see your Vagina and I'm gonna pay you $10,000. That's where the irrational thoughts come from Because the because society so you're saying it's irrational Sometimes And also You know, you just uh anyways, um, yeah, sometimes it can be irrational because Men sometimes feed into that You you let me believe that it's okay that I got five kids I'm 40 but I make it a hundred thousand dollars So now I deserve to be with you because I want to sleep with you Well, shit. Tell me that Well, most men won't but That's why I'm telling women like he you have in 50 men in your DMs doesn't mean you're a catch. No You having a thousand men in your DMs does not be your catch Honestly, some of the most catchiest people are the ones you would never expect So, I mean, of course, none of that matters, but The way everything has been built up now I can go on a sugar daddy website And lie about who I am and get everything I want or I could be who I am and still get everything I want So of course, there's not the same curriculum But it's also up to men sometimes regardless of age To take responsibility for that and incentivize the wrong behavior. You do You literally tell me sometimes I can Meet you tomorrow We can go to dinner You pay my mortgage my all my utilities And all I got to do is pop some pussy every day out again And then you want me to say what shouldn't the woman know that that's unsustainable Huh, shouldn't she know that that's unsustainable like I can do that between 20 and 30 and after that The sugar daddy's gonna dry up because they going back to the 20 and 25 year olds That's not always the case though But I'm saying like if you had 10 sugar daddy's between 20 and 30 Between 30 and 40 you might have five. Yeah, the point But somebody's still Obtaining my life style, right? I don't care if they do window down halfway. Somebody still take care of this So I just think it's a layered conversation because we can save the curriculum thing But sometimes you just got to stop acting like that too, especially these old ass men And that is a generalization that I'll keep So answer this for me If you're talking to a group of five girls or six girls seven girls, they'll say, you know Um, my circle is full of bad bees. You know I'm saying like this one's a doctor that one's a lawyer Um, this one is an esthetician. This one is this this one that they're boss bitches and they walk out and they got this The letters on but they're all single. Yeah, why? Because and I I don't know I've had this conversation before so this is where I'm getting this idea from You have back in what the 1950s was still when women had to be married to even have like Drivers license whatever. It was something crazy that I don't feel like nowadays It's obtainable sometimes to be both Because yeah, there are a lot of bad bees out here with the grease and doing this But it's hard to obtain both because we've never been taught to obtain both I mean personally in my circumstance I grew up with a bad bee who just happened to be married but it was Not a successful relationship because on the other side of that if you do find somebody Is he going to be okay with the caliber of woman that you are? Because a lot of times you see It happened and you see her finally found her boas And then boas is mad at you because you work long hours and make more money than him It's still a thing of The man's ego or whatever it could be a plethora of things But I will say I think that's one of the main reasons because We're still at the point where we're still accepting that women can be bad bees and they could have degrees and have Nice jobs inquires and take care of themselves. But back then I needed you I needed you to obtain my lifestyle And I also was bit to stay at home take care of the kids and shut the fuck up. That's not the case now and then Are just trying to summon are still trying to make that happen They're trying to make that happen with this girl who just spent seven years being a doctor and now you want me to Just shut up and listen to you While trying to be the bad bee That's but the problem with that is that if you ask her what kind of man she wants. She still wants a traditional man So why can't that traditional man want a traditional woman? What's the problem? What's tradition? Um, well when you ask women they say I want a man to provide and protect and you asked men they want a woman who's Kevin sam is called a fit feminine and friendly But the doctors and the lawyers struggle with fit feminine and friendly a lot of times, but they still want to provide and protect. Yeah Well, because I'm I'm sure you've seen this but there's a lot of cases where these uber strong women To say at the end of the day, I just want somebody to go home to and to take the responsibility away from me And I think when they're 30 and 40 When they're 30 or 40, yes But you like right now We're Still 20 something. Oh, I feel like we're in the largest race of our life Some people are starting families. Some people are starting businesses. We know millionaires at this age So at 20, nobody's thinking of that for real. Well in some cases, so I think that's where it comes from Because right now Think about it. Every time you go on instagram anybody from our age demographic is grabbed it is out there getting it It's working seven jobs is lying. It's starting businesses. Yeah, it's lying They are lying, but they're not everybody last year became an entrepreneur. Everybody became this that the third So, yeah When i'm 30, maybe that's when I want you to lighten my love a little That's what I think so obviously like we said kind of in the beginning There is a gap between black men and black women. Yes um What role did black women play in creating that gap? None, no, just like, um What role did black women play? Well Again, I think it goes back in history as well. Um Not knowing how to coexist once that man has broken whatever relationship I personally think that even now regardless of the disconnect when Generally typically when there's a conflict between a black man and a black woman Sometimes it ends up where the black woman no longer wants to even speak to the black man or so busy bashing that black man That you can't find your way back And then you raise your children to hate their dad because x y and z or you raise your children or whatever, you know Things happen. So I think that's where it happened for black women And then is your second part for black men? No, no, yeah, well, yeah, we talk about black men And when I when it's a black man, I ask him But I I'm very interested to know Because the popular idea is that black men messed up the black family, right? And we can't create the black family by ourselves. So why the idea that we can mess it up by ourselves All right, so I'm always interested to know. Okay. What part of the dysfunction are women willing to own? Yeah, well, that's part of it and you know, even like destroying the black family Has nothing to do with black people It never has anything has had anything to do with black people I feel like Because it happened through slavery and then it happened when you know, you get rewarded for Being a single parent or whatever it may be because it's crazy as that lady is Candice Owens She makes a good point and she was telling people that one that that one thing. Let's be mindful that one thing That one thing when she said, you know The government came in and made sure they created the divide And what continued that divide I feel like is a lack of healing on the black woman side because you think about it One black man hurts I'll use me for example One black man hurt my feelings five years seven years ago And so I take that on every single black man that comes after him And then I have a black son and I teach him not to be like that black man And that continues it disconnects because I never healed from that and never had that conversation So that that that's um, I think you segue perfectly into this question and then we'll close it out What kind of son do you want to raise? Oh god? Oh my god children. Oh Uh, well in 12 years when I have children um I want my black son to be Like who I potentially believe obviously is going to be his father. Um, which is very vulnerable, but also able to navigate your feelings in a healthy way because I mean, I'm a woman and I still can't navigate my feelings in a healthy way um one who Isn't afraid to have those hard conversations, but knows how to go into it with a certain amount of tact and ability to communicate um One that actually does care about black women because you know oftentimes We make these black well. Yeah, we make these black men who hate black women And that's just so crazy to me because you've got a whole black ass mama, but uh One who has compassion one who has strength but one who also understands the importance of having relationships that matter Because we get so caught up in having just a relationship just because with anybody not even romantic um And one who's strong and not the definition of strong because the definition of strong is fucked up when it comes to black people But one who finds his own strength and isn't afraid Because there's so many obstacles black men have to try to over You know overcome and overlap and it's a scary world out here Even to be a black man You know one of the obstacles that black men have to overcome a lot of black men. Unfortunately. Yeah They're black ass moments. Yeah Yeah A lot of the dysfunction starts with mom. So And that's what I said about the healing the the popular phrase you hear is that You got a black mom. Well, that's the reason but Does that while black men heal because I absolutely preach that? Does there need to be some empathy from black women and understanding about that? Definitely And it's gonna be hard. It's gonna be very hard because again We've been conditioned to see black men as these untouchable things. It's crazy that you know The world sees black people as people who don't experience pain But then we as women are like that black man should not experience pain So there's gonna be a lot. There's gonna have to be a lot of empathy Like I said before I'm always preaching about the therapy because You never know what kind of healing can happen when you just let somebody else help you That's not a part of this equation