 Greetings, Bolshevik Bunny. Greetings, Comrade Roark. What's wrong? You look depressed. Do you remember I owe Capitalist Pig a dollar with an 11,000% APR? Yes. Well, I fell behind on my payments and asked something called a collection agency. Started calling me about the debt. I even left a voicemail in the middle of the night. Listen you little f***. I'm starting to lose my f*** patients with you. You better get my f*** money soon or I'm going to come to your job and I'm going to tell all your co-workers what a f***ing deadbeat you are. And if that doesn't work, I'm going to start calling all your family and friends and tell them how much f***ing money you owe me. Then I'm going to have you thrown in jail. You hear me a little f***ing? You better start paying up or you're going to be in deep f***ing. Geez, he swears a lot. I don't know what to do. I don't want to go to jail. Well, in the United States, you can't go to jail for being in debt. Yet. Why? Let me explain how collection agencies work. When you fall really behind on your debt payments, eventually a creditor sells your debt. Sells my debt? Yes. They do this for two reasons. One, by selling your debt, a creditor ensures they get some of their loan back. Two, they no longer have to track you down and demand your money. A debt collector is now in charge of that. Now, Bolshevik Bunny, you know we communists never make sweeping generalizations about groups of people, right? Of course. Well, 98% of debt collectors are the scum of the earth. Like most parasites, debt collectors have only one function, which is to squeeze you for as much money as possible. Is there a way to stop them? Yes, by knowing your rights. Legitimate debt collectors are bound by U.S. law. Specifically, debt collectors have to abide by the Fair Debt Collection Practices Act or FDCPA. What is the FDCPA? Do. Let's go back to that very rude phone call you got from the debt collector. You said they called you in the middle of the night? Yes. First of all, the FDCPA prohibits debt collectors from calling you before 8am or after 9pm. Second, it prohibits them from using any profanity or abusive language. Debt collectors also can't visit your work, interact with your family and friends, or threaten you with jail. Well, if that's all illegal, why do debt collectors do those things? Because most debtors don't know about the FDCPA. People don't know about the FDCPA. That's right. The only way a debt collector can get your money is by filing a lawsuit against you. They could sue me. Yes. And obviously a lawsuit is an unpleasant experience, but it's also a double-edged sword for the debt collector because lawyers and court fees are expensive and debt collectors are lazy and greedy. So they'll try to avoid going to court by using any method they can get away with. Like bullying poor people. As I said, scum of the earth. Well what should I do if I know the collection agency is violating the FDCPA? Before we get into that, let's make one thing perfectly clear. Due to the law, a collection agency has to send you a validation notice. This is a document listing who the debt collector is and how much you owe them. If you don't get a validation notice in writing after the debt collector first calls you, chances are that phone call was a scam. And this brings up an important point. As soon as you start dealing with debt collectors, start keeping written records of all your interactions and never ever ever agree to anything until you get it in writing. Now let's move on to how you can stop getting phone calls. I can stop getting phone calls? Yes. All you have to do is send a cease letter. A cease letter? Basically, it's a letter telling debt collectors they have to stop all phone calls. And under the FDCPA, collection agencies have to abide by a cease letter. What an important thing to remember about this letter is that you need to send it by certified mail and you need to send it with a return receipt. Why? Because the collection agency will have to sign for the letter and the return receipt. So you'll have written records that they received the cease letter and in the event that they call you after they receive it, you'll have proof they're breaking the law. And if a debt collector breaks the law? First, write down any violations and add them to your written records. Then you have two options. The first option is to file a complaint with your state's attorney general or the Federal Trade Commission, which enforces the FDCPA. Of course, if you go down that route you will be dealing with large government bureaucracies and as we all know, those are horribly inefficient. Except under communist regimes. What's the other option? The second option is to hire your own attorney and sue the debt collectors. But lawyers are expensive. Yes. But if you have a strong enough case with plenty of written records, a good attorney may be able to make the debt collectors pay all the legal fees. Check with your state's bar association to find an attorney who has experience dealing with debt collectors. Remember Bolshevik Bunny, your ignorance is the greatest weapon debt collectors have. So educate yourself about your rights as a debtor and realize you can fight back. Okay. Unless you owe money to organized crime. Then you're f***ed. Aw. Oh.