 I'm here to talk about a magical fact. I tell you how I got the power to be exact. It took a little training, but to my surprise, there it was, music to my eyes. You may be seated. Welcome to this celebration. I think I'll go for a stroll with my favorite troll. Take a ride on the back of my dinosaur jack. Such a fine day to fly, I guess I'll be a jet plane. And if a grown up person asks me what I'm doing, I'll explain, I'm just kidding. Just being a kid, just kidding. Montpelier to Madrid, just kidding. What a world we're all in. Don't know how we'll grow up, but what a way to begin. After a hard day in the dirt, how about a cookie for dessert? Better give me an extra 12, might have to entertain an elf. Oh yes, and two or three from Mary, don't forget her little lamb. And if a grown up person tells me, I'm just kidding, just being a kid, just kidding. Montpelier to Madrid, just kidding. What a world we're all in. Don't know how we'll grow up, but what a way to begin. I played with a gold kid named Gil, my blue buddy Bill. Lean and her sister, Sal, who's green. Orange Owl's a good friend. Purple Pete, what a guy. Big folks don't understand, a rainbow prettier than any in the sky. We're just kidding, just being a kid, just kidding. Small and proud, sing it long, sing it loud. Get larger every day, I guess it's gotta be that way. But there's one thing I know and I'll never forget. Always be a kid inside no matter how big I get. I'm just kidding, seriously. Just being a kid, just kidding. Montpelier to Madrid, just kidding. It's a purse and some of us were classmates. And some of us were lovers in the fall. Kerosene. We should know a lot about these days. It's called making the best out of a bad situation. Written by a guy named Dick Feller. No relation to Bob, great Cleveland Indian pitcher. Well, I know a man, he's an educated man. And I know a man, he's a hard working man. He gets up real early, goes downtown, about 15 minutes after he's been gone, this big ol' milk truck pulls up on the lawn. Milk man rushes up to the door where that man's wife's waiting in a kimono. Plants a big ol' kiss on a cheek and they go inside. Well, that truck never moves for an hour or two, none of my business. One day I called him aside and told him what's been going on while he's gone. He said, I guess that's so, but do you know, we're never out of milk or yogurt, cottage cheese or ice cream or any of them or other cow-y things. I guess he's makin' the best of a bad situation. Don't wanna make waves, can't you see? We're just makin' the best of a bad situation. I reckon I'd do the same if it was me. Well, I know a man, he's an educated man. He's an alligator wrestler. Jumps right in there and grabs them long green boogers. Bob, whatever you grab them long green boogers. But I won't tell me you had a full Nelson on this big alligator when this other alligator snuck up and bit us right here. Plum off, didn't bat an eye. He just crawled right back in the shade and went to sleep. The alligator, not the man, it's none of my business. One day I said, you know, sure too bad about that little accident that you had here. Hat's gonna fall over your eyes and you can't ever be a gypsy. Got no place to wear a gold earring. Well, that man just looked me right square in the eye and said, huh? I guess he is makin' the best of a bad situation. Don't wanna make waves, can't you see? He's just makin' the best of a bad situation. I reckon I'd do the same if it was me. Well, I know a lady, she's a mighty fine lady. Got a hard of gold. She wouldn't harm a fly. I just tried to get by, keep her house in order. You know, her husband, he worked so hard, he came unglued, came unwrapped. Just kinda snapped, thinks he's a chicken. That's right, one of them cackling and criminal Sanders types. Roosts in a bush by the side of the house, none of my business. One day I said, you ever thought about finding the doctor who could make him well? She said, I have now and then. But then again, he don't eat much, just chicken feet. All that peckin' in the ground, don't hurt nothin'. Heaven knows we can use the eggs. I guess she is makin' the best of a bad situation. Don't wanna make waves, can't you see? She is just makin' the best of a bad situation. I reckon I'd do the same if it was me. Yeah, we're all just makin' the best of a bad situation. We're all in this together, you and me. I wrote this in 1979. Most of you weren't born, but that's okay. And with a gift of a song, And she's home, she's strong, She's best of a gentleman. Wish I had and probably will. Sells most anything from hot dogs on downs. Someday I'll share his life, I'll be his weaning wife, Hot cross Katie, she stays up all night just makin' that good stuff. When her buns are in the oven, I'll pop over for some lovin'. Cheers, but they're not too old to cut the mustards. Shuffle down the streets so fast, Hard to catch up, but let alone pass. Down the street there came two leanies. One was fat, one was skinny, One was a meanie, one was sorta dreamy. Both of them were wearin' beanies. One was dirty, one was cleanie, One was stiff, one was sorta leanie. The rest of this song don't happen. So I decided to write this song for overzealous developers. It's called Edifice Complex. Whenever I smell a medicine's oughta be, Got to roll up, cause growing things is wasteful. Farm land doesn't rate, So I'll turn these fields to factories And fly home out of state. I got this Edifice Complex. And I hate my mother earth. The hospital room just made me salivate. I take right after the old Cinder Block. At the zoo, he'd point to the cage and say, Some of those chimps got all the luck they needed. On this mall were lots of stores. E-I-E-I-O. With a big buck here and a big buck there. Here a buck, there a buck, Nevermore a live buck. Old McDonald's had a mall. The hall, where the rich slumroads roam. And the fawns and the cubs used to play. Where maple's so tall, Where pastel and the foe. Even Sigmund Freud should always be enjoyed. Here's a song from that musical called, Hold on to hope, down will fade away. Yesterday was bad, so leave it in the past. Forge ahead, cause it's stronger stuff. Use it to my ears at your heels. You feel you'll never find the exit door. Take a giant step and choose some different roads. Follow the mate of stronger stuff. Your laughter will be music to my ears. Sometimes you feel you're stuck inside a box. Or locked with it a room without a key. Against the wall, there's bound to be an answer. Guarantees and jeers. Don't take their guff, you're made of stronger stuff. Your laughter will be music. Your laughter will be... I have to go to the Bulley No More table over there. This musical is unbelievable. And so this is called, Flail Away. Cheerfully vague. Often staring off and utterly teary and scattered. I've got my son in my eyes. And I sing to the... Welcome, my baby, to the big old world. You kept us guessing about a boy or girl. I know it's colder here than inside, mom. Your little body's got to flail away. Flail away, flail. Folds unfurl, flail away. I hold you against me and I rock you slow. A powerful feeling like I've never known. You grab my shoulders and I'm glowing like the moon. You let out a yell and flail away. Here we go. Flail, folds unfurl, flail away. Might have been gas or a sideways yawn. But I could swear you put a smile on. When you're grinning with your guns all around. Makes the daddy want to flail away. Flail away, flail. Folds unfurl, flail away. I love you when you're cranky. And I love you when you laugh. I love you when you giggle in your bubble bath. Love your pooping when I just changed you. That's when you really flail away. Flail away, flail. Folds unfurl, flail away. So hard to leave you in just between us. I wish I could feed you like your mama does. But when you're eating from a bottle and a spoon, I'll nourish you to help me flail away. Flail away, flail. Folds unfurl, flail away. You're wandering eyes bring tears to mind. You trust me like none in my time. I'll teach you reading and I'll teach you how to strum. If you teach me, I flail away. Flail away, flail away. I said, play here, which is a big honor for me to be a part of this event. I also want to thank Bookspealer Records in Montpelier on Langdon Street for providing the sound system pro bono. And so thank you to Bookspealer and Nate in particular. So let me do the dirty one first. I don't want to leave you with the dirty one. But I'll do this one first. And thanks to Ed for insisting that I do at least one filthy song here. It's just cool. It could be water, water, kids without dirt, you know? And that's what this is called. It's called dirt and your part. I haven't made you sing until now. It's not really a singing thing. It's a kind of a screaming grunting sort of thing. And your part is dirt. I'll go over it again for you. And it's hard to memorize this, but dirt, can you hear that? Perfect. Here we go. Daddy's on the brink of a dry martini. Mama's just an old fashioned girl. I'll beat the sucker for a straight up stinger and granny is going pink squirrel. Well, I'm faced with a family of guzzling guppies. Even my dog gets his licks. They all call me nuts not to want some cheese. Mama just turned six. Give me dirt. I can rock and roll around in mud pile. I'm hurt by sun down. I'm a day crawler. Normal kids go for the G.I. Joe games. I never went for green. Then there's no sliding into snow games. Cold and a little too clean. Me, I'm working out in a big old sandbox, getting my sculpture done. Michelangelo might have made more money, but I never had this much fun slinging. I can rock by sun down. I'm a day crawler. Now, Rosemary grows very well in the dirt, but she never in the soil when she's wearing a skirt. Sunflowers towering at it. How about suns? Can you dig it? Dig it. You can dig it. You can dig it. Dirt. I can rock and roll around in dirt by sun down. I'm a day crawler. Deck my pants with mud march 30. Fa la la la la la la la. Tends the season to be dirty. Fa la la la la la la la. All around me folks are moping. Fa la la la la la la la. Slinging. I can rock and roll around in dirt by sun down. I'm a day crawler. Sling it to me one time. I can rock and roll around in dirt by sun down. I'm a day crawler. Said, I'm a day crawler. Here I'm a day crawler. Lane is the driving force, creative genius, and passionate human behind bully no more. So go support that show and take it to your schools. Also, take me to your schools. Haven't do some song writing with me. Anyway, here we go. Just in our midst, half monster, half angel. The only devils you want are kids. Again and again and again and again. They give us life and laughter. All they ask is that we love them. Make our voices rise. They give us a hug so we can celebrate the children. They're our world, they're what's in it for us. Celebrate the children, then we'll know how to celebrate ourselves. Celebrate the children, not just today or only week, a month or a year, forever. They teach you how to dream, keep you honest, keep you guessing, show you more ways to let off steam. Then a teacaddle cat, all the priorities out the door. Celebrate the children, they're our world. Celebrate the children, then we'll know how to celebrate ourselves. Celebrate the children, not just today or only week, a month or a year. Teach them peace, teach them vision, show them that there's strength and kindness. They give you hope and return. They're the future of this. Celebrate ourselves, celebrate the children, not just today or only week, a month or a year, forever.