 What's up everybody this is Chris from the rewired soul where we talk about the problem But focus on the solution if you are new here I'm always doing videos so you can improve your mental and emotional health and in this video I'm gonna do another breakdown of Gary Vaynerchuk psychology, and this is important I've had so many Messages and comments and all that lately with people talking about how they're afraid of their family members Judging them, but this goes out even broader than that it goes out to friends and Colleagues and people from high school You're worried about what they think you're up to and where you're at in life And you're constantly comparing yourself to others But anyways, I'm gonna show you a clip from Gary Vaynerchuk's speech at a Dutch brothers coffee conference And just for the sake of time, and I know you got a short attention span I've cut it up a little but you're about to get the gist of it And if you're touchy and don't like the f-word, I apologize in advance, but that's just how Gary Vaynerchuk rolls. Let's watch There's this inherited fear of failing in your career your major your degree your business Moving up in Dutch Rose management, whatever it may be for yourself What's your one liner for just taking the leap and going for it? You know, it's it's you know, I hate repeating myself, but like I get it and I'll do it until the day I die Who you afraid of like what when you get fired from Dutch bros tomorrow, right? Right like when you right which I can see is pretty much gonna happen, right? Like when that happened right when that happens Like what are you scared of like what your dad's gonna be like? I told you you're a loser or like or like your girls like I can never trust you I can never marry like what I It is a whoo like what like tell me the thing like what like what I Love I swear on my fucking kids health. I'm obsessed with losing. I fucking love losing I love losing because I know exactly what you're thinking about my loss And I can't wait to stick it in your fucking face when I come back Remember once my grandma said that I was lazy because after seven hours of fucking dragging wood in my parents backyard I was like I need a break because she's old-school Russian gangster And I remember laying there and her drilling me and me thinking myself I'm gonna fucking stick it to you grandma like nobody's ever like I like losing I'd actually I'd actually have a whole different new concept I recommend fucking up on purpose I'm being serious. It's so much better to like eliminate expectations from the get Then you're playing with house money If you're scared of other people's opinion fuck up on purpose then everybody thinks you suck shit, then it's all upside All right, like he pretty much just summed it up right there. I want to make very clear. I actually Hate motivational speakers. It's a weird thing. I'll do a video on that later But Gary Vaynerchuk he talks about how he's not meant to be a motivational speaker All he's trying to do is inspire people to do the things that I already know that they can do and try to Break away some of these barriers. What's funny is I finally got sold on Gary Vaynerchuk when he was on the 10% happier podcast I I've just really been intrigued by Gary's Natural ability to be very self-aware and kind of peel away the layers that a lot of people don't see So just like he was talking about like I Mentioned this in my last video that I'm going to link up in the description We have to start peeling back these layers and getting curious and ask ourselves like why where is this coming from? where is this fear of my family judging me coming from and Here's something that I do on a daily basis. I Filter the information coming in and who it is coming from For example when it comes to your family and they're looking down on you for the job choice You made or what you're going to school for or who you're dating I look at them and I analyze them and I ask myself one question Are they happy in life and even if they are I asked myself another question Do I want to be who they are because there's somebody who might be very happy? But somebody who's always talking down to people and judging other people I look at myself I'm like do I want to be like that because if you answered no to any of those questions Then why are you trying to go down a path that they think is right for you? That's the question that we have to ask ourselves when it comes to a judgmental mom dad brother sister friend Whoever it is we have to ask ourselves like why is this opinion so important to me? Why am I affected by what they think Gary talks a lot about how he lives for his funeral and basically what he's saying is He knows he's gonna die someday Me I was very fortunate and unfortunate depending on how you look at it Five years ago. I had a 10% chance of living almost died My time is very very valuable to me I cannot waste my time trying to live up to someone's expectations Because if you've ever been in let's say a toxic relationship Where you try and try and try and try and once you get to the top of what you think is that mountaintop for that person What you often find is that they're still disappointed So why am I basing my life my decisions my actions off of what somebody else thinks when I know that they may never be satisfied Now I want to touch on Gary's last point he made like go out go fuck up on purpose Eliminate all expectations like I truly believe in that I don't recommend that you take the route that I did but that was my experience for those of you who are new here I am a recovering drug addict Five and five years ago. I was in the hospital congestive heart failure. My heart was a side of size of my lungs I lost everything I couldn't see my son lost my job lost my truck lost my apartment All my friends hated me my family hated me everybody hated me, right? The beautiful thing about rock bottom is that there's only one direction to go and that weighs up All right, so people doubted me people thought that I wasn't gonna stay clean They thought I wasn't gonna stay sober they thought that I was a never-going-to-amount to anything and I have that mentality. I have this competitive mindset that I tap into see there's two different ways that you can work with this all right One is that they say these things and it beats you up it tears you down and now you start having that negative Self-talk in your head, or you take that and like Gary said he wanted to stick it to his grandma like You take that and you use that as your motivation When people thought that I wasn't gonna stay sober like any of you recovering addicts out there watching this video I know I got some of you out there in the audience Use that as your fuel when people doubt you like the worst thing you could do is prove them, right? Go out there and prove them wrong when they think that you can't do something go out there and do it work harder. I had people Who thought it was a bad idea for me to start this YouTube channel? Chris people don't want to talk about that stuff Chris There's not really a following for it and no I'm not some huge youtuber I know Jake Paul or Logan Paul or anything like that, and I probably never will be but in The last five months or so I've grown this channel pretty well a lot more than I thought and it's because I wanted to prove those people wrong I wanted to get this message out there for anybody who out there struggling with mental health or mental illness problems or Addiction or emotional issues or trauma like I wanted people to know about the solutions that we can discuss So you know what I do? I work my day job at a drug and alcohol rehab and I come home and I make this content for you And I work my butt off. I love proving people wrong and that's what I love about Gary Vaynerchuk Like I said, he's not even meant to be a motivational speaker, but I I can't stop reading his books Well, if you know me I do audio books and I just finished up another one of his books But like I will put links in the end card for this video to go to his channel I will also have some links in the description for some of his books that he's written they're Amazing and this isn't meant to make you like go out and like try to become a billionaire or anything like that It's trying to find what makes you happy because that's what matters at the end of the day I am going to do another video about how Happiness is not based on your success Success is actually based on your happiness. So find that happiness and in turn you will find that you are Successful and no matter what it is. It doesn't matter if it's work if it's school if it's relationships. All right So just keep that in mind. I will also link to the video that this came from Gary Vaynerchuk's talk I listen to these talks all the time and it's it's just amazing So here's the question of the day Just like what Gary Vaynerchuk asked, what are you afraid of? What is your worst case scenario? What are you so afraid of? Let's start thinking about that and then let's move forward and Pursue the dreams that we have and be the people that we want to be because that's really all that matters All right, so if you like this video, please give this a thumbs up and if you are new here Like I said, I'm always doing mental health and addiction recovery videos So click the little round subscribe button and also if you're new here click or tap on one of the thumbnails right there To check out some of the other videos on this channel. Thanks again for watching. I'll see you next time