 And lastly is fight like a pro Fight like a pro in marriage. There's two kinds of fights There's those that are like street fighting with no rules and there is a fighting like a boxer Boxer is a pro. They don't they don't beat they don't hit under the belt. They have a referee They don't just go swinging anywhere. They want to hit they have a certain time where they can hit and then they have to stop Go to the corner get you know kind of fixed up and go at it again twelve times And after they win the fight they hug the other opponent. They don't stab him to death Now in street fight How what are the rules kill the other guy? You look for anything the rock is the weapon of choice You have a knife on you awesome. It makes it faster You have a gunman. He'll make it quicker and many people fight in their marriage like a street fight There is no rules you can say whatever you can curse you can exaggerate you can do whatever and then they wonder Why is the marriage so beaten up? Because you're street fighting. There's those who are religious. They say well perfect marriage has no fights Are you crazy? Even if you will be married to someone just like you you will still fight Marriage is good when people fight, but when you fight like a pro Not like a street fight, so let me just give you a few tips on how to fight like a pro one Let's read the verse Ephesians chapter 5 verse 26. It says the following be angry somebody say be Come on everybody say be Angry some of you that problem. That's probably the only verse in the Bible. You're fulfilling on daily basis Like I did not know the Bible tells me to be angry. It doesn't have to tell me that I'm doing that by myself just fine How when you find this verse is very easy to live by Now shall not lie in the church The Bible says be angry You're like a Bible is not against you being angry if God will be against you being angry Then God being angry would be God would be a sinner God gets angry anger is a good thing There's nothing wrong with being angry Bible tells you be angry if you see injustice be angry If your spouse keeps leaving those dirty shoes and then dirty socks and underwars be angry If you ask them to fix and clean those dishes be angry But the problem is not with that the problem is it says next thing do not sin Do not let the Sun go down in your wrath nor give place to the devil means if we stay angry through the night We give place to the devil by next morning So let me give you a practical tip number one Don't go to sleep angry stay up and fight Do not ever Go to sleep angry stay up and fight Now if you're a husband and you love sleep Admit you wrong and go to sleep I mentioned that I'm usually right Every argument with my wife. I'm always right She married mr. Wright. She didn't know my first name was always Always right, but I'm usually right until 9 o'clock When it comes to 9 p.m. There's a possibility I might be wrong By 9 30 there's a very high chance. I might be wrong by 10 o'clock. She's a hundred percent right. I'm wrong 10 30 this is when you know, I'm like I'm already humble that I am wrong 1130 I'm like a possible Peter. Oh, I'm such a sinner depart from me Lord When I was when we just got married I wasn't like that I doing our I remember an argument that I'll never forget Because this is the only time I fall asleep when she was still angry We had an argument that started with during the morning and and I was so like I I didn't love sleep at the time I love to be right more than than anything and so instead of fixing the issue right the way I tried to say well It's her fault. She needs to apologize first and I'm not gonna apologize. Why because out of this argument She is responsible for 95 percent. I'm responsible for for five the five should never apologize in front of 95 I know my math There I am sitting on the couch mean I'm not talking to her Of course, she's not talking to me and so the time comes to about six o'clock and I'm thinking no I mean it is three hours. It'll take us three hours to fix this. Maybe I should begin So I come out and I was like, you know what I really think that what you did was wrong today Which is not our best way to start to finish the argument and so she's not talking. I was like, well great You don't want to talk. I'm not gonna talk either So I turn around on the bed. I'm facing the wall And I'm trying to pretend that I'm not breathing not to give her the satisfaction that I'm alive When you're married, you will know exactly what I'm talking about. And so and I'm not even breathing. She's like, you're still there No I'm not here like you what you want to talk. What is there to talk about? There's not to talk about Great nothing to talk about. So nine o'clock hits nothing to talk about this deep silence and I accidentally fell asleep With me I can fall asleep with anything and everything so it wasn't hard especially when it's tense I fall asleep faster a woman. She cannot usually fall asleep just like that So I fell asleep and then I wake up to somebody hitting me in my ribs Wow I woke up and I was like, what's going on? Who's here in the house? It's like you loser. It's me And so now we're arguing about the fact that I fell asleep. We're not arguing about whatever happened in the morning That's not important. What's important is how dare You fell asleep You don't love me. You don't care about this relationship. You can we talk about what happened in the morning? That doesn't matter now. We have a bigger issues at hand. You fell asleep I was like woman. I'm so sorry. I was like I was trying to stay awake to wait until you open up You didn't want to talk to me. So I fall asleep and So we fixed that I apologize repent of everything I've done thought of doing didn't do everything took the blame for myself For everybody and then she recognized after that that it was a little bit of her fault, too Just a little bit and so we hugged it out We went to sleep next morning when we went on a date coffee date. I told her I actually did not Mean to disrespect you when I fall asleep. It's just when you don't talk for two hours. I Fall asleep And She said I didn't mean to hit you It was just it was really hurting to me that you dare to fall asleep knowing that I can't sleep if I am angry I was like well seemed like I handled it just fine You should have just maybe and then I realized like no no no no no you and I was like, yes Yes, babe, so we made a promise and it's been seven years that if we're angry If we are fighting we don't go to sleep until we finish it now if sometimes Sometimes because in marriage, there's three problems. There's the proactive problems Reactive problems and radioactive radioactive is stuff you can't talk about you won't fix it in one argument It's like heavy stuff and so in the heavy stuff what typically we do is we just bring the stuff to to the minimum Where both of us can sleep knowing we still love each other. We're not gonna do anything We're not gonna poison and like stab each other during the sleep everything will be fine And next morning will resume when we're better rested and so but you have to not go to sleep angry If both of you go to sleep angry if the other person sleeps on the couch You sleep in the other room and it's always the and you're angry your tense You have to listen to the Bible Bible says do not let Sun go down on your wrath stay up and husbands Let me give you just the practical tips on how to dissolve this one How to fight like a pro is approach a woman and Touch her No, don't push her Don't pinch her Just gently touch her It's crazy what a touch does to a woman especially when she's now if she's one of those You you might want to stay away So I'm just gonna gonna share what worked for me and stuff because my wife is the opposite for me Like if we're arguing I don't want to touch her because I'm by accident. I'm I like break something, you know And so I don't want to touch her but what she taught me She's like if you could only just come in and just touch me gently on my shoulder and reassure me that Everything's gonna be okay. And so when you start with that But that means you got to get control of your stuff when your wife is mad. It doesn't mean your horrible husband It's just because you got a woman Woman woman is a woman she has her stuff. It's completely fine. Don't take it personally It's not it's not because you're a terrible husband. You just because you have an amazing wife And so but the second thing after that and that's typically with brothers that we struggle with is that we try to be sarcastic when we are fighting now Your humor attracted her to you, but you're typically not that funny You're definitely not funny when you're fighting Let me ask you a question. Would you consider Jim Carrey Funny if he would laugh at your mom's funeral and crack jokes Would you consider a comedian funny if they would come to a funeral of somebody that you loved and crack jokes? No, you would think they're crazy man When there's a tense moment World War three is about to happen. It's not a time to be funny You're not funny. You got to understand that you got to be sober minded You got to be vigilant and you got to be you got to put on bear like like Mardukah in the Bible Like put ashes on yourself like come in broken With with reverence and I'm not I know I'm being a little bit funny in this right now But you really have to be heartbroken when the woman sees that you're serious when the woman sees that you're like You're understanding the weight of this problem like you understand This is like life and death issue and you're approaching this like that it makes you feel like okay I'm not the only one that's hurting. He at least understands. I am hurting. I can I cannot tell you the second one Was the hardest thing for me to be delivered from? My goodness through sarcasm How many of our fights could have been fixed in five minutes and they had to last five hours? Because I was such an idiot. I Love I'm not funny guy at all. It's just when we are getting into an argument. I turn on stupid And I start cracking things that and I think they're funny. She looks at me. She's like you stupid Why don't you stop that? She's like you were you were you were moving so good? It's like why did you slip from the right path of righteousness? And I keep laughing laughing and I know it's wrong, but I can't stop It's coming out naturally. It's so creative. I feel this creative juices like man. Somebody used to record this is rhyming I'm losing my wife, but I'm gaining the gift of humor flowing through Come on all the all the wives will admit sarcasm doesn't help right Third one is validate her feelings when she's hurt and she's complaining. That's good She's sharing her feelings One of the things that we can do as men is that is this instead of coming say you're feeling that Cry a river build a bridge get over it. You can't come in and say well Oh, I know why you told me that the monthly cycle thing messed up with your chemicals and stuff like emotionally That's stable. That's that's why that's why I know you're mad. It's because you have a period in three days. Everything will be fine Anytime you blame women's feelings on her monthly or if you're super spirit You're like I've really been sensing this this spirit over you a spirit of like this anger jet spirit of jealousy I got it jealousy. I see you're jealous over other women And I really think we need to deal with that right now You want me to lead you in a prayer of renouncing can I sign you up for inner healing in our church? You really you really need to go to prayer line Anytime you shame her with her feelings even if it's demon behind it Even if it's a monthly period even if it's a generational curse Stop being a counselor and a deliverer and a derrick prince in your marriage You validate those feelings something like this. So you feel like I've been ignoring you I'm really sorry about that. I'm really sorry that you feel like that now don't don't admit anything yet Don't sign up for anything. I'm really sorry that you're feeling like that You're not saying what she's feeling is right. You're just saying that you're sorry that she's feeling that If right away causes the woman to feel loved and appreciated you're hearing her and then this is the magic comes in I asked the Lord for wisdom to find your 1% of the fault of why she's feeling that you're not a responsible for more than that just 1% remember She's responsible for 99 But you're responsible for 1% of the fault like that one that you didn't respond to the text message Like the one where you didn't bring roses. You didn't say I love you in the last four days You didn't kiss her you didn't hug her you didn't spend time you were always so busy all of that It's so not important at all, but you find that 1% that you are Guilty of and you focus on that 1% and you exaggerate that 1% and you said how bad it was and you will never do it again And next thing that happens she will run to you give you a hug and says I knew I made a good choice that I married you Everything is over Amen