 Hello everyone, welcome again to another Narc Survivor video. Before I begin please hit the thumbs up button down below to show your support. Hit subscribe and click all notifications to be notified when I upload a new video. And if you would like to book a one-on-one coaching session with me just go to my website it is narcsurvivor.co.uk. The one thing a narcissist will do in your absence. Narcissists like to keep secrets. They like to keep things unknown and unseen by other people. They like to have things that are not properly understood because they're very insecure and they feel powerless and helpless. So by acting strange, peculiar and mysterious it gives them power and control over their environment. It gives them narcissistic supply and that is always the reason for why they do anything. But when they're seeking supply they will also behave dishonestly and they will keep secrets because it gives them a false sense of power. So you may never catch them out, you may never see what they're doing but they've been doing this for a very long time so they are masters of manipulation. They know how to plan and coordinate the elements of a situation to produce their desired effect but whether you see them or not you can be certain that there is one thing that they will be doing in your absence and that is engaging in their many addictions or they will be in the process of seeking new supply. Narcissists maintain a sense of superiority through a constant need for validation, a lack of empathy, manipulation and other controlling behaviors because they're seeking emotional sustenance to maintain their self-worth and self-esteem and they will typically target vulnerable people who are more likely to provide the comfort or support that they are seeking. They may acquire their supply by using their charm and charisma to elicit admiration but with that to some work some narcissists may have to resort to aggressive behaviors but either way they will engage in excessive self-promotion and they will always steer conversations back to their achievements or they will create drama and a little people to elicit emotional reactions to reinforce their sense of importance and there are clear signs to know if you are a source of their narcissistic supply because they will seek constant praise and admiration from you, they will expect special treatment and they may even exploit you emotionally or financially. They will also dominate conversations, seek to be the center of attention at all times and react strongly to perceive slight criticism. When the narcissists first targeted you, they idealized you and saw you as perfect. They showered you with attention and praise but as time went by they started to feel insecure so they began to devalue you to where they became manipulative and emotionally abusive and from that point on they begin to spend less time with you because they're off seeking supply from other sources and they're engaging in their many addictions. One of their main addictions is that addiction to people, they attract people by projecting a false self to elicit a constant stream of attention and admiration but it's never enough and they're never satisfied so they often employ other addictions in an attempt to fill this bottomless pit and one of their other addictions may be alcohol which they will use to reinforce their false sense of grandiosity where they will become even more self-absorbed as they display an underlying craving for admiration or they may even use recreational drugs to achieve a state of superiority above other people and to lessen their feelings of inferiority because their self-esteem is constantly fluctuating as it's all a facade it's not real it's a deceptive outward appearance which is why they have a void that can never be filled and it's why they have to use other people to fill this void but even then it's still never enough so they have to use alcohol or recreational drugs in an attempt to stabilize their fluctuating self-esteem and they may also engage in a pulsive buying or gambling to self-enhance and elevate their false self but once they've run through all of their options for self-gratification through the use of positive sources of supply then they have no choice but to resort to negative supply and this is where they can become dangerous narcissists will typically begin to seek negative supply when you know your own mind when you're not prepared to lie down and be walked over in the way that they would like when that happens they will turn against you and they will seek to destroy you as a means of acquiring their negative supply they will punish you for not giving them the attention and admiration that they believe they are deserving of and entitled to and they may react to this in many ways by becoming rageful and escalating to violence or they may use passive aggression or withholding to punish and control you out of their annoyance and disappointment and as a revenge for their narcissistic injury this is often subconscious which means that they do not consciously know what they are doing they just feel like their false self has been threatened so now they are determined to keep you under their power and control but if you're no longer susceptible to their revelation they will seek to destroy you as a means of annihilating the threat because they have very low self-esteem so they are very easily threatened and it causes them a lot of anxiety so then they feel like they have to deploy certain tactics to regulate their self-esteem and to manage their narcissistic injury but they will see it as though they are defending themselves rather than attacking you even though they may damage property intimidate bully slander stoke mimic plot wrongdoings manipulate lie and pretend or even turn people against you and encourage people to support their side because their rights and your wrong and it's all because they crave acceptance and validation which is their positive and narcissistic supply and it's what they prefer to negative supply so they will do whatever it takes to get it even if it means throwing you under the bus they don't care because they want it and they need it and they can't without it images everything to a narcissist and this is why they can't have any empathy for you or anyone else because they're in this constant pursuit to elevate their false self to prove to themselves that they are wanted and desired but even then it has nothing to do with anyone but themselves we are nothing but pawns in their game of chess we are mirrors that reflect back to them how they want to be seen and when we look into a mirror we're not concerned about the actual mirror or where focused on is the reflection we're getting from that mirror so they don't see you or anyone else the people they're involved with or trying to get supply from do not even exist in their world the narcissist is a prisoner of their own mind they have an inability to interact with the external world they only know how to pretend and act like they see you when really they don't they don't even see themselves because they view themselves as an object as well they're either a good object or a bad object and they're not really that concerned about being a good object they're just doing anything they can to avoid being seen as a bad object because that would then reflect back to them that something is wrong with them which is a feeling they're doing everything they can to avoid reflecting on but this is what they're doing in your absence they're doing everything they can to avoid being seen as a bad object so that they can avoid viewing themselves as a bad object and feeling like they are bad or wrong because they can't deal with the shame so they created a false character and a false reality to protect themselves from their true feelings about themselves and because of this their self-esteem continues to fluctuate because it's like they built a house on shaky foundations so they never know where they stand they never grasp a good understanding of a situation or what someone thinks of them which is a miserable existence but it's how they have to live because they chose to live a lie and that lie continuously comes back to haunt them because they're like a house of cards they're dangerously unstable they're on the brink of collapse which is why they're constantly in need of supply they're addicted to people alcohol drugs shopping gambling gossiping punishing and revenge and it's all as a means of establishing their shaky foundation and this is why they're always on edge it's why any little thing could set them off and cause their reality to crumble because it's built on a lie they're not who they say they are they've done horrible things to people and they are aware of it which is why they deny project blame shift and gaslight because they're trying to pretend that it isn't there so that they can continue living a fake life but by doing that they're just running from themselves instead of accepting themselves for who they are and that is why they're so miserable it's why they're so heavily dependent on you or other sources of supply whether it's people or one of their many addictions when the regard to get is that they can't even experience those things they have to get people to filter everything through them so that they can live vicariously through other people because they can't find pleasure or fulfillment in anything directly it doesn't do anything for them because they abandon themselves to create a false reality which is why it's all about their image of reputation and it's why nothing they acquire or obtain is ever enough thank you for watching if you found this video helpful please give it a thumbs up share your thoughts in the comment section hit the subscribe button to receive the notifications if you would like to support the channel you can donate at paypal.me survivor you can book a one-on-one with me on my website it's narcsurvivor.co.uk thank you for watching and i'll talk to you soon