 Y254 Imagine Thank you so much for sticking to Y254 TV My name is Sherry Blessing and you are watching the Powatok Show Now before we went on our break we were having a conversation about social media etiquette and one of our experts has just told us we now term it as NETICATE So I want us to have a conversation about wona communicator je social media and witu ganyu wa zina kubo Uke na mtame andika comments jo me post video nene wena kubo about social media and the way people communicate on these platforms Go on our pages which is at Y254 on Facebook, Twitter and X and we will sample some of those comments as we get back Sorry, as we proceed with the conversation So joining me is Chebet Cheres a digital content creator and Trophy Kiprono a communications expert So I think to me tackle the professional aspect extensively we have noted that you have to communicate in the right tone, the right words you have to understand corporate jargon na lazima wenda na brandia yu company aways yonza ku communicate from your own tone and your own brand and identity you have to understand the brand identity of the company that you are working under now let's get into the interpersonal communication for professional people sometimes try but the interpersonal especially on social media the facts that right now I can DM Rihana sometimes people feel like I've seen a post about someone who actually uses Drake's DMs as kama personal filiake so anytime she's venting about work ananda rekwad voice note kwa DM ya Drake who is a socialite, he's an international musician so I wonder, Chebet wewa kwa as a digital content creator have you gotten some DMs that uliku onawanda yes this might be a fan this might be a person who appreciates my craft but the delivery but the familiarity ko zuna zoto na nga nikama wana kujua nimeshaku for the social media I know you have you experienced that before okay like I said I've not experienced many negative comments but experiencing funny DMs and just outside crazy for sure so many times I want us to treat social media like someone's house just because it's the social media platform doesn't mean you can just walk in there because you don't walk into people's houses and just the cops will come for you you will go in so if we can do that for people's houses the social media is the same walk in with respect knock fast so I think if we always have that in mind it will really help us so about people who comment crazy things on people maybe not mine specifically but like there's just people who just who have given you the permission to you don't know me first of all in person in fact it's always the ones who don't know you that comment crazy things they speak so crazily they come there with and you know like you said people feel like they've known you so they can come there and I don't think the issue is us talking and feeling like we've known celebrities are influencers we love them we go to their DMs but now the issue is just how you're communicating really it's just do you have respect this is my space much as it's a social space it's still my space so I think let's bear that in mind always so that when you're walking into somebody's DM much as you want to say all these things say it in a manner deliver you know like how we learnt in school that it's not just about the message it's also the delivery of the message they are the same they are twins people always think it's just oh I said what I had to say because it was the truth ah ah no no no you say what you have to say but in a way that like she said doesn't offend the listener and then it's just communication really that really goes along and then sometimes people feel like this is the thing I've noticed on social media when you comment something negative on a celebs thing or an influencer or whatever because you know that negative comment will catch their attention faster than the positive one please don't be one of those people even if it takes you 15 years for them to notice your positive comments that 15 years will come but now people go for the comments because they know because they know it will trigger it will trigger that person to come and be like to now defend themselves or to like insult it and be like you see I told you guys now she's responding to me or now he's responding to me let's not be those people because just because we don't want to wait for you know they'll see positive comments like a million of them and they won't say anything but then they will see that one negative comment and go to it so I think people get get high from that which is there's no need for that if they don't notice you can go to another celebs but your favorite person who will and then comment nice things one day your nice things will add up together and I think I love the way you really brought that out because truly first of all people assume it's my opinion I have a right to my opinion and it's it's in me but you're posting on someone else's account I also like the fact that you gave the analogy of ita house yes it might be an open house na kutzokutembea but it's not like come chafwa my clothes use my utensils break my plates and then leave casually restaurants and bars are open for all try walking in there you will see you will see what will happen to you treat social media like that it's open the fact that you've even tied that together people feel they need to post negative comments for the laughs especially wakenya that is one thing I've really noticed Kenyans will they may not even have something to say but because they feel like I'm bored I'm trying to make people laugh I'm trying to get followers I'm trying to get the attention of people let me comment something funny or let me comment something that is rude or negative but that happens a lot especially with big brands because people the followers feel entitled to I follow you I've been following you for 3-4 years so I know you but then you don't really know someone Trophy how do you communicate with perhaps I have someone I idolize and I really love them and I want to get the attention I've been trying for the past 3 years attention I jive the comments are not being liked or responded to and I opt for the negative feedback sometimes it's also because of the pressure that we feel from this person you feel like they are constantly living their very best life but I'm here struggling so let me just make this one negative comment because the way people assume ladies were successful living you see the glamorous lives it's because of a man so I go and comment how do I react to that how do I as a viewer who wants to comment on my maybe I don't know some celebrities some socialites page but I feel it's coming from a negative point how do I control that it's not necessary let me just leave positive vibes or just let me walk away how do I do that by first asking yourself am I projecting my insecurities on this person most oftenly when we disagree with someone we're doing it because this person has the balls we post this and one thing and personally I don't have problem with criticism because I understand the fact that I don't know everything in life so as long as you critique what I'm saying respectfully in fact I'm okay with that because I don't know everything so you disagree without I'm posting okay but now where we draw the lines is name calling name calling, abusing people and a lot of people don't know how to disagree without being disagreeable especially when you're a woman you just have to understand some names you'll be called here and there and often when you go to these comments these negative comments you'll notice that they're doing that purposefully to get a reaction out of you they want you to react and I disagree with Chebet when she says that people don't know you actually it's always your friends they just use some pseudo accounts because they don't have the balls to face you straight and tell you like nobody has to like you because you know if you want everyone to like you then it means you have a kitu you want everyone to agree with you which is something wrong but it's okay if Chebet disagrees with me respectfully she's like I see your point but I think on this this way don't say that's very stupid that is idiotic no it's okay to disagree but disagree respectfully just ignore such negative comments don't give them the attention they want just ignore them and you'll often find them coming to the DM they'll be telling oh you're so good you're too good for my posts and my texts they'll come to the DM so you'll notice you dealing with someone who is not okay mentally disagree respectfully people misuse that term they'll write the most unprovoked thought and finish it with respectfully and that happens a lot it happens a lot this day disagreeing without being disagreeable is actually critiquing what has happened not the person I disagree with your thought about this and this don't start saying oh you know what you are ugly what does ugliness have to do with what I am posting and if you are so sure that you are beautiful what does my ugliness concern you with so it's an inferiority complex in a way that is why they are doing that so I feel like you just have to understand as a personality just as a normal social media user if you get negative feedback look at it if it's constructive if not because most times it's people projecting honestly it's people projecting because they feel envious of the position that you're in or they feel like you're doing so much and I'm not doing enough or I feel like your life is moving faster than mine when you shouldn't even compare yourself to begin with and now I want to bring us back to you mentioned that Chebet your accounts were private before you made them public could you tell us the decision of you opening a social media account and making them private because so many people ask what's the point of you being on Instagram if you have a private account with like 5 friends and 500 posts most people will do that these days because they want to maybe maintain some sort of privacy but what was the reason behind you keeping your socials private first of all there's something trophy has said about you know when people come and comment crazy things on your so one way is ignoring them but I'm also for please put people in their place please please because you will not come to somebody's house and then wruga the house and then steal things and I'll be like oh I'm just gonna ignore you whatever weapon I'm gonna get or I'm gonna call the police and you're going down because respect is a two way so you will not come and comment rubbish on people's pages and then expect to live with your rubbish you will collect whatever you came with so I think apart from ignoring them which is obviously the best but sometimes please put people in their place because people are mannerless out here social media has made people mannerless we no longer have like she said netiquette please go study about netiquette go study how to comment on people's pages how to talk to people online how to interact with people online how to receive, how to give those kind of things anyway about people who choose to be private and you know I've had that comment so many times what would you be on social media when you're a private user I don't know what the minute we make my preference or her preference or your preference and then we make it we load that preference over other people that's what we call prejudice there is no way if somebody wants to come there with their zero followers please let, they are not bothering you in fact you don't even know them in that moment they just want to see what's online without having to deal with all that nonsense because being on social media is exchanging energies with people, crazy people good people everything you're collecting it's like a basket of everything so it's not for everyone to be contaminated like that to be mixed up like that and you know by the time you're going from a private user or by the time you're deciding to go full blown open with your account, share your life you're deciding to go down a very dangerous road because you want to share you're being very brave you want to share bits and pieces of you or parts of you or just your life with people so you will get one hand people who resonate with you and they're so grateful you get a whole community that you wouldn't otherwise have in like normal life day to day living but then you also get this bunch of miserable people like she said people within securities they just want to come and project and it's a very dangerous or rather a very delicate balance if I may call it so but the time you're moving from that to that it takes a lot and then for me it's because I wanted to pursue digital content creation there are many people who don't want that life they just want to be to look at funny videos so let's let's leave people to do what they want to do if they want to be on zero followers private forever if you want to come to this side let people do what they want to do I like what you've said because that is prejudiced I can't tell you I want you to have long hair when you personally prefer to have short hair it would make sense because that is my preference and you are your own identity and that is the problem that people have because we believe say it to the social media say it to the chabets and that is my opinion because I have been following and following for so long and that's not how the world works you have to accept people for who they are and move accordingly if you're no longer pleased with maybe the content that someone produces walk away if you're not pleased with what you say you can unfollow you can do so much you don't have to and there's so much content out there there's so many creators out there who make it easy for you to get alternatives so I want us to go on our social platforms before we continue with this conversation and this is on Facebook we have Derek Dero Shaz who says and the question we were asking is what is the dislike about social media and Derek when you say that's a very clear comment because that brings an aspect of tribalism and we are trying to move away from that so why would you hide behind a social platform to do that wamboi Kelvin who says I hate celebs who always post about their families wamboi wamboi mtoto wakifal he says posting naked photos that's also I don't have anyone to follow peace cave he says he says he says he says I like that peace cave has said a very very important point you can express yourself and so many platforms have warnings against that so they will block you and take you down quickly so let me go back to wamboi Kelvin who says I hate celebs who always post about their families now let's bring that up because we have socialite celebs who post everything I just woke up I am eating this I am eating this I am eating this there are those people who will give you day to day minute by minute updates of what's going on how much are we allowed to share on social media trophy kama mimi niseleb and I'm trying to probably build up my following and as he said people who post their families and perhaps some family oriented and that's the content that I want to align myself with or to say I post so much about hair or nails or makeup but for lozongoko we are mezidi how do I go about it what makes your soul happy what makes you happy the thing is people need to understand live and let live what you feel is okay for you another person does not feel the same we are all different now we perceive the world that's the basis of communication if you don't like someone that they are posting too much about something and follow move to the next person the thing is celebrities if people didn't like what socialite are posting it would be that demand for it there is a lot of demand otherwise these guys won't be wasting their time shooting reality shows if there is no one who can make money there is demand for it I think her comment she doesn't understand this that what you think is right is not what Chebeck thinks is right what I think is right we are all different just like what Chebeck has said to bring into context whoever disagrees with her you are going to the pits of hell you will go to the roots for me I would easily disagree but then I will ask myself does that person have the mental capacity to understand something called a different perspective do I just let it to let it before you know it they start calling your names so the way Chebeck does things does not mean it's wrong that is her way of doing things the way I do things does not mean I am right or wrong it is the way I do things I live and let live that's true and just unfollow you don't have to follow these people there are so many content there are so many celebs why were you following exactly maybe you were single you were familiar unfollow imagine and you know the truth is why are you here just go because you know the problem is you don't have an issue when you post your real life and then when you try to fabricate some information or you try to maybe ume plan this is not my everyday they start saying you know you are living a fake life so where is I feel like follow content creators follow people follow personalities who you align with because you have the option of unfollowing people imagine you can just follow three people so you understand there is another side of sharing the moment you expose your life expect some backlash so you can see all good there is always the other side of everything you give people an opportunity don't expect all good what you disagree so choose your poison you are showing us your life we will question whether what happened to your relationship because you brought it up both sides are happy that's true I think the most important thing here is not whether you are sharing or not sharing it's just that etiquette of respectfully asking what happened between you and Dave because that there is a big chance you will be answered because we want the public but then if you come with your negativity you will also probably meet people like say people are different sometimes you will even be sued you are a brand and you know when you are sued they even call them social media inlaws what? it's a whole serious thing because maybe I have followers let's say I have 10k followers and I post my man today and we start moving to get me and Zeku post you know he did this we've done this six month anniversary one year anniversary and then to achane people even check and they will ask so I feel like even as a public figure you have to anticipate things like that because even if you don't want to even if you don't want to talk about it just say respectfully at this time I'm keeping the situation private I will share later on imagine my shaita songa mbele I also want to wrap it up with the conversation about people who post naked photos that happens a lot these days because people know or assume there's going to be a certain following of people especially ladies so Chabad tell us because you're a content creator and you've done very clean content that is directed you have ideas that are productive you have to post when you are a follower so talk to us about people who post naked photos what do you think should be a guiding factor if Kim Kardashian has posted this Mbonamimi nisi post and they want to compare themselves with people who have already maybe established their brand or maybe that's their brand identity what do you think about people who post that and then maybe want to change their brand later on and go in a different direction I think this boils down to everything we've been talking about today back to preference okay and what is naked complete nudity because now bikini is still not naked because how will I have a problem with people who say this one is wearing undergarments for us you need to cover up how will the undergarments companies sell those products to us how will we know we need models and personally being in the modelling industry and not just content creation how will people know if you don't advertise the briefs the boxers that's not the issue let's be very let's be guided you know that we don't go taking subjectively because now if you say that this is nakedness no no just don't follow that page who forced you to follow that page and you when you're going to buy you want to see a model who looks nice in a certain maybe bra and then you want to see how they look then you want to also see that and weigh your options be like do you like this company no I don't like how they look and no but no one has forced you to imagine just follow or don't follow those pages you go imagining how you can buy your undergarments without and then also like you said about what's that final final it was about if you want to change your direction let's say there was a lady there was a story that came up a few months years ago sometime last year about a lady who used to be very popular on covid radio those covid radio buy a popular socialite back then on instagram and she would post she would be that constantly probably naked because the kind of content but most likely naked and doing things that were considered sexual and then later on she realized I want to be a wife I want to maybe change the direction of my brand because people still associate her with the past so how do you move away from that identity particularly before lingerie these people particularly who are naked who are only fans of something who do something that's maybe sexual first of all life is dynamic no human being and life is not static no human being is static you're not stuck you're not in one place people change all the time so from the ones who are viewing understand that just educate yourself on how life is people change even you yourself you're not staying in one place you're not the same person if you were to gauge you from what you did 10 15 years ago or 30 years ago things that we don't even know about you'd be like cameras of like guys that I'm so embarrassed about that so let's not people judge people in the limelight just because the camera is pointing at them the camera hasn't pointed to you because one day the lights and the camera will be on you and all the dirt will come out so never judge just because the camera hasn't been pointed to you not because you're clean or because you're doing anything special but just because the camera hasn't turned to you then for the ones who are in the limelight who are doing content creation celebrities influencers understand that people don't love you they probably just love you in the brand there's like 3-4 people who genuinely love you and will grow with you and will understand your journeys and will cheer you and will never judge you everyone else is here to consume content they're here too it's like it's a very dangerous field like I said people are here watching what you're doing you do anything small they're here for the entertainment and that happens a lot because I personally don't have so many followers but I know for sure that people will never be seen in my stories and they'll never comment nothing they follow every single thing you do there are fast ones to hit that story or status but they will never say anything so understand that people don't love you, they're here for the entertainment they're here to know the things that are happening especially if you're the one who's sharing a lot so careful with that every time you're going into that like famous space or you're trying to put yourself out there please have that in mind and I feel like that can bring us tie me to the next conversation about mental health because so many people are suffering so many people get depressed they break down either the recipients of the content that is being created or the ones who are creating the content so trophy, could you tell us about perhaps from the perspective of someone who is creating content and they receive all this criticism every other time they hear kuna otwa toh praise, kuna otwa toh communicate but most of the times it's like kumesha kina kaji so could you tell us how do you for your mental health how can you maybe move through the digital space ask to better say it never take people's praises of you to heart don't let criticism get to your heart don't let compliments get to your head you're only as good as your story right now kesho uki trend they will crucify you, they will persecute you so one thing about putting yourself out there is to realize you being vulnerable and there are things that are associated with that, make peace with it it comes both ways so when someone criticizes you always remember nobody pulls someone down unless they're under you you'll never find someone up trying to push you down as well as down is down pulling you down, just remember that and then if it gets overwhelming just get out of social media for some time it's not a matter of life and death just get out of social media for some time and with respect to mental health and what you'd ask to bet about the naked photos and everything just remember the internet never forgets I love one thing the socialites who started this will never tell you how do these photos translate to money you know that aspect people never discuss so the young girls are like after school I'm shooting a naked photo then is the money coming from make it make sense so they need to understand that because they'd be under pressure but I'm also nude I'm also doing these photos it is because there are a lot of things behind the scenes nobody will ever tell you it is not a matter of life and death social media is there you found it it will always be there it will always be a better platform that's very true because there are people who that's the brand identity there are lingerie models there are people who have been doing that there are photographers who just do shoots of people who are naked and it's artistic so you have to really understand why am I doing this where am I going with this even in Kardashian change she's not a lawyer she's now the naked thing in Misha she's a business woman and you see even in Kenya we have a very clear example we have like Vera Sibika started as a vixen and was popular for that but then she rebranded going forward and right now people respect her as an entity so it's very important for you to understand where you're going and what direction you want to take it so I want to we got a comment briefly my phone unfortunately went off but it was a comment I believe from Twitter which is now ex I'm finding it had sometimes me too so the comment was on Sipendi watu kukuja kukatiana chinia postizangu and that happens really realistically that happens so perhaps you can trophy I can start with you maybe give me some comments on that briefly as you tie it with your your final thoughts watu katiana let them be personally I don't take these things too seriously because even whoever pahat they will actually be some wedding later so don't kill the joy and as I wrap it up I'll say this the internet never forgets and if you cannot tell someone something in person don't write it online if you cannot say it in person kukutana naehivi don't write it online it is just basic manners and I hope we had time to even cover the social media etiquette of even giving breaking news in terms of death you know that is something very important watu skizi breaking news someone has died people are like and it's like a competition to share even the photos and the images videos everything even of people who are mourning like remember Kevin Kiptun's family someone is just sharing the father breaking down like who does that is there an award or something for that is there an award for that and there really isn't Chabad could you give us your thoughts on that and she's brought another interesting aspect during the time when you meet we share let's talk about your breaking fake news because fake news is also social media so tell us briefly in probably under 90 seconds what do you think about watu kukutana chinia post zako people will get in connections like that and breaking sensitive news first of all I don't mind like he said don't take it seriously let people enjoy as long as they are not fighting in there if you are fighting now take that nonsense to another place but if they are doing nice things they are talking they are giving you nice suggestions let people be it's not that serious then about breaking fake news please always confirm your sources first and then break in a way that is very respectful and very considerate of the person there is no competition it's just that sometimes we want to share the news all of us like you know but then let's do it in a way that really doesn't injure those people and then finally I just want to say social media three things first of all social media is not a real place please it's a real place but it's not a real place keep that in mind number two social media is an illusion what people are showing you is nothing compared to what they are going through if they are showing you 10% of their joy there is a 90% you know nothing about or their money their riches they could be showing you 10% of what the other side the negative side they are going through the hardest time but there is another 90% you know nothing about keep that in mind thank you thank you so much I think that really sums it up first of all don't take it too seriously be sensitive be considerate of the other person because it's human beings imagine so be very sensitive detach yourself from some of these comments and take social media breaks because sometimes it can get really overwhelming take breaks especially if you're content creators if you're celebrities or socialites on the platforms if well any consumer be very sensitive you have to understand this is a human being with the life of their own if you do not resonate with what they are saying if you do not like the content and follow them block and follow no one is forcing you to consume their content so that is it for today it's been a very wonderful show I know we have so much left but we will have this conversation I want you to also continue this on social media and Elenu Kunembe and how you can be more sensitive on social media thank you to every single person on our production team and Timothy a very amazing producer it has been a wonderful show and I hope you stick to Y254 TV I repeat of this will air tomorrow between 1 and 2pm so please check out our pages and please stick to Y254 TV I'll see you next time at the same time same place