 So of course I was going to call the ambulance. Oh, breasts. Welcome to episode 25, everyone. We are Marty and Michael, and we don't know where we are. I think we're in Scotland. I think that's where we are. Straight out of Edinburgh. Listen, listen, listen, listen. Did you hear that? Yeah, you should have put it up to the mic. Oh, fuck. Michael did a little fluffy puffy. So today's date is the 14th of the 9th, 2029. And on this day, a famous event, the first brick was built from Mr. Gay Brickson. And he built a brick accidentally, believe it or not, using sand and dirt and pieces of wood. So he accidentally made the first brick. On this day in 1973. So there's your little famous event. That's when bricks are invented. That is a scary look. That is a worry. Do you like my outfit? I've noticed that you're wearing anything different. Thanks. You look like a huge vagina. Famous birthdays. Tom Cruise. Happy 63rd birthday. He watches some of our shit. So Tom Cruise, happy to have you watching our shit. Fuck him. I hate that guy. If you're in a Scientology, fuck you. Also, don't jump on couches. Can't be a bit more respectful. You fucking dog. You were so lucky to have Katie Holmes and I'm sure you hit her. I reckon. I'm going to say that Tom Hanks, is it? Tom Hanks, I think, yeah. You hit Katie Holmes. But another famous birthday is the guy who cuts Donald Trump's hair. Very not not that well known yet, but he's on the rise in the hairdressing industry. His name is Gail Fung Tye. And he it's his birthday today and he's also a regular viewer and he sends us all sort of hair products. Michael's hair wouldn't look like this if it wasn't for Gail Fingtong Pair. So thank you Gail for sending all that stuff and for always watching and supporting us. Happy 18th birthday to you, our friends. Happens regularly. I don't know what it is. It has spasms in my right elbow. What's that mean? Michael has recently had some serious, serious health scares and he gets worried for a few days, but then some of the serious health scare symptoms subside a bit so he relaxes and then continues his lifestyle of debauchery and alcohol consumption and drug abuse and fast food consumption. And here he is dressed in pink. It's like the pink panther. And no, yeah, we'll get to that in the LA stories, which we should have said last week and we're sorry we didn't, but we'll say that for our story segment this week. On this day in 1842, the first horse was built by Dr. Donkey and he accidentally made a horse out of donkey parts. So thank you, Dr. Horse. Yeah, it is late. What, in 1649, he accidentally made a horse. So and fuck me, where would we be without horses right now? Yeah, well, it'd probably be. We'd be riding donkeys around like idiots. So thank you, horse. Dr. Donkey. Dr. Donkey for inventing horses. Oh, fuck me. All right. So that's the end of our shit talk. We like to mention some crazy things that have happened on this day in the past and we also like to mention some famous people's birthdays that watch the show. So now we're on to the next segment, which of course has been renamed and it's been renamed. Whoa, even that, that's. That's us. Yeah, you just fucking lost your headphones. It says to do that in the title. Oh, it's in the brackets. Yeah, fuck. Sway your head forwards so violently that your earphones snap backwards off of your head. Man, Matthew's awesome. It's quite a strange man. Matthew. Sorry, Matthew. Gregory. Gregor Brown. Gregory. Gregory. All right. And this segment is just basically where we answer any questions. So you guys have sent in some questions. You've sent in some for us. You've sent in some for Jackson. We'll answer the Jackson questions when Jackson's on the fucking show. So relax, be patient, or maybe just skip this bit if you don't like us, whatever. But we're going to answer some fucking fan questions right now. All right. Let's do it. Read the first question. It's from underscore Georgia underscore proctor underscore. She has asked, how does one become a legend like you guys? How many times do I have to say it? You don't simply become a legend. You're either born like this or you're not. Okay. I'm sorry. It's not what we do is not achievable by everyone. It's hard. If someone who wasn't born with the legend gene tried to do what we do, that would fail hard. You're born with it. We were given this gift at birth. I came out, I crawled out of my mother's tits and said, and just was a legend straight away. And that's just how it is. I'm sorry. But I'm sure other people are good at other things. I saw this guy the other day. He was very, very efficient at sweeping. He had really unique angles the way he positioned the broom. And he swept a room in maybe half the time. Maybe half the time that I would have been able to sweep the room. You shouldn't be sweeping. We shouldn't be sweeping. Well, it's just you've got to do where your talents lie. Our talent is just being a fucking legend. Yeah, dude. Being a fucking legend. I was looking in the mirror the other day and I was just like so hard. Mirrors are the best, man. Dude, they're my favorite. Man, I fucking love mirrors. I've got them all through my like since fucking Facebook pages now. We're back to monetization. My whole room is just mirrors. Yeah, dude. I was sometimes I'll catch a glimpse of myself in the reflection of a car window and I'll stop for a good 15 minutes nodding and smiling. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Pumping yourself up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I don't do it. 15 to 20 minutes. Yeah, yeah. I know it's hard. Well, you know when you're walking through a shopping center and there's a there's a mirror or like fucking, you know, a reflection somewhere. I'm always checking myself out in it because it's like, fuck, that is good. Yeah, dude. Yeah, sometimes I'll lose three to four hours a day. Just looking at myself. I'm still on that thing again. Yeah. But yeah, it could be bone cancer. Anyway, back to the mirror and stuff. Like I, dude, I don't know if you do this because well, yeah, you have told me, but let's tell everyone else to go to sleep at night. I just put our vids on. Yeah. I just put them on next to my ear and I just hear like sometimes like until I fall asleep because I obviously have to sleep. I can only sleep three hours because I'm fucking legend when you're a legend. And then like I will be drifting off and just hear our voices from our vids like the audio podcast as well. Like it is just, it's so. I just get Siri to read out the comments, like just read out the love comments and that puts me to sleep usually. But yeah, usually I have a huge mirror that I put on the ceiling above my bed and I'll just lie in bed on my back looking up at myself, tossing off or sleep. Yeah, I started like when I bat off now, I bat off to myself. Yeah. Have you ever tried your own ass? Sometimes I look at analytics and I, and I wank. I just, I'll look, look at our growth over the last three months. And I'll, that sort of gets me off. Anyway, next question. Yeah. Dumbass underscore 106. Have you gone through puberty? Man, do you remember? I remember the day. I don't, but I remember the moment. I don't remember the date or the day, what day it was, but the moment when I found my first black hair on the, like near the dick. Yeah, because I have an older brother and I remember he, he got them first and I was, it was so exciting to see some fucking hairs on your older brother. And I was like, fuck, I can't wait till I get some black fucking hairs on my- I didn't like it. I ripped it out. Yeah, yeah. It scared me. Yeah, it is, it is concerning to start with. And in your voice starts deepening, all these weird shit starts happening and your hormones are all over the place. But you don't, you don't think, like, looking back now, puberty is pretty traumatic, but you don't know it's traumatic at the time because you haven't gone through it. You don't know what's normal. Know what I mean? It was weird. Do you remember your first bat? Yeah, yeah. I remember it was like, it was scary because you feel like you're about to get there and then you start being crazy. I don't know what's gonna happen. I don't know what's gonna happen. And plus my brother was standing there telling me not to do it, but which was like a bit of a distraction. Yeah, yeah, it stops that. So it made it a bit harder. But yeah, once you get there, it was like, and then, yeah, it was scary. I was at year eight camp and all the boys in my dorm were jerking off saying, yeah, it's cool. It's cool. And I was telling everyone not to do it because I was really offended. Yeah, yeah. I used to pretend like I didn't need to wank because I got bitches. I get sex when I'm 14. I get sex heaps. I don't need to wank. I'll get a lot of sex. Yeah, your brother's a legend like that. But I remember then once everyone went to bed, I was like, why are they raving about this shit? So then I started, I didn't even, I just sort of winked myself off through the pants by rubbing it. It was like a weird clip back then. That's why I'm in the middle of the show. Yeah. Rub them in the pocket. You can rub it. Yeah, yeah. And then like all of a sudden, I just fucking this weird shit came out and I knew you. And I was like, oh, I fucked my undies. Next day after- I'm already on here. You're talking about such amazing things without me. Oh, come on. Come on, Kyle. Well, let me introduce him first. No, let me introduce him first. No, no, no. This is good. This is good. He's right. We should have him on for this. These are good questions. So without further ado, let me introduce you the man that has made salmon, salmon the most popular fish in the world. And very silly. And he's fucking got- He's got- Bulk followers. He's got so many fucking followers, man. He would- He gives- He wants to lose followers because he's sick of having so many. It's sick. It's sick how many followers he has. Like, it makes me sick. Like, sometimes it will be walking down the street and there'll be fucking 400 people just standing behind him. Dude, yeah. It's literally like a fucking- You go to Chermside Shopping Centre down the road from us. Great place. And he just gets swarmed. He's the fucking number one fucking social media dog in Australia. Give it up for Jackson O'Dowdy. What is up, Mike? Cousins. We just all kissed. What are we talking about? So back to my first off batting story, right? So I figured out that night once all the boys were asleep that you can- You know, your fucking white stuff comes out of your dick and it feels good. So then the next day after all the- We went surfing because it was like Telebudger down the Gold Coast. It was like a camp fucking place and blah, blah, blah. It was fucking so good. We got back from after the first activity and I went straight to the toilet to try and do it again. You can't force a wank. It just naturally happens and over time you just get that form right. Because I didn't do like that form for a good while. I used to do like- Like a fire stick. Yeah, like a clear- Yeah, like a fire stick. I used to get two fingers and- I used to alternate flick my balls with both hands and my dick would go hard. I think I might have tried that. Flick my balls and that would stimulate and then it would- It would foam. Yep. Foam would- No actual cum, just foam. I think from the mixing of the- It works for a good three months. I have chips in my mouth. Dude, I used to get scared of my mum walking in. And then you start wanking in front of her. Didn't you have a lock on your door? What I did was like- I'd get so- Because you know like you're watching like some- I don't know, fucking- It'd be a sexy scene in like a teen movie or some- Like a, you know, not a teen movie. This brings back memes. Almost sunrise. Anyway. And then I'd get worried because you know, you don't want to pull your pants up and your mum knows you're jerking off. So what I'd do is I'd leave my pants on and rub my dick through the undies. Ah, and just cum in your pants. And I'd cum in my undies. You realize when your parents washed your shit they're going to see that? No, I'd throw the undies out. Man, there was some, yeah. You didn't put them in your house bin though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You go and dump them in there. Do you remember when you dumped them down the street? Wet dreams? I don't remember there was a sign there. I don't remember, I still have them. That wet dreams coincided with when boxes were cool. So I would just wear boxes, I'd go to sleep and then just jizz in my boxes while I was dreaming. And then I'd have like four pairs of jizzed up boxes lying around my room. And then when it came laundry day, like I'd forgotten that mum did the laundry and that she would just walk in and she'd be like, oh, didn't you just, and then, yeah, I don't even want to really talk about it. You know, with her being an adult, she would have known like, oh, my son's coming in your shit. Yeah, yeah. I never had a wet dream in blue from it. I told my parents when I had wet dreams. I told them, I told them when I learned how to wink. What were you saying today earlier on about mum? Oh, I was just saying that I'm attracted to her. I think, I think it's normal just not everyone admits it. Is it, am I incorrect? True. I definitely can't, I can't say that. Mum, mum's pretty hot. But like, I don't have that for like, it's not. Your mum is not hot. Please tell me you're lying. Dude. I have, I need to see a picture, like a nude, hopefully. Yeah, I've got. She doesn't have Facebook? Didn't she cop? No, she's not a cop. She's free from... Dude, no, no, she's, yeah. She was, she's like... You've got a hot mum. I reckon your mum's hotter. I've got a hot mum. Oh, no, my mum's probably most likely definitely hotter. His mum is probably hotter. Bullshit. Yeah, but what, when did you start wanting to eff your mum? I never wanted to eff my mum. I just said she was hot. Yeah. Okay. Big difference, Michael. You idiots. Do you have a brain? You alcoholic. Oh, fuck. Now the sip. Pink fuck. Next question. All in all, yeah, I think my mum's very hot. And you guys can be the judge also. She has Instagram, Janine, Odo. Where do you go? Have a little look? All right. Has she got followers? Duh. Oh, we are sick fucks. When do you guys have glasses of water at if you're guests or something thirsty? Yeah, yeah. That's exactly what Matt told me to get. Really? Yeah. Okay. Spottles of fucking cleaner and wine. Yeah, you gotta get into alcohol. I don't want to get into alcohol. Look at you and you're a great example as to why not to get into alcohol. Look at me. You're 30 and you pissed the bed. I'm 29. Nearly 30. And I pissed the bed. All right. Next question. Next question is from Michael underscore Fallon underscore verified Michael Fallon. Some of you guys might know. He's got a blue tick. He's got a blue tick now. Good friend of ours. He has asked on a scale of one to 10, 10 being you'd have sex with it and one being you'd throw up on it and then bury it. How much do you like apples? Oh, seven? I've never looked. I've never been sexually attracted to any fruit. But if you bore a hole through an apple, I can imagine it could be all right. I'd give it a try. And to be honest, that I've never considered it before. But since that question has been asked. Yeah. It brings back a memory from school. It's like a strong seven. I sort of want to maybe even try it. We called a thing in school a cum apple. And what we used to do is you used to get a pan and you'd put the pan in an apple and you'd swirl around a little bit and you'd fill it up with white out. Remember white out? The liquid. And then you'd like pull off. It was like a cum apple and you'd launch. Dude, you could launch that at someone's head and it would just explode with cum. Next question is from sebb.woodrow and he or she has asked, why did Nigel ditch for like a year? Okay, that was for Nigel. Okay, we can answer that. Yeah, he met a woman. Nigel basically, he wasn't allowed to post on social media because there was a mafia drug lord chasing him. This guy from Africa who thought that Nigel had something to do with the cocaine shipment being rerouted from Australia to America thought that Nigel had something to do with it. And Nigel, like nothing, nothing to do with it. So he came to Australia and was hunting Nigel for four to five years. And there were some really hairy moments where some of his gang members saw him on the streets and we were with him one of those times and we had to leg it into the marathon. I sucked one of them all. I laid one of the dudes off. The marathon hotel, we had to leg it in there and tell the security what was going on and they stopped the African drug lords from killing us that day. Yeah. So that's why he was off social media for a year, I think. Yeah, I think, yeah, I've heard that somewhere. Could have been a dream. I'm not in a movie, but anyway. Yeah, whatever. All right, next question is from PhilipusWalter8. What a good name. And he or she has asked, how long do you guys knew Jackson? May I interrupt? Is this username, is this person a verified account? No. Next question. Next question. Mitchelton underscore. We know each other because they got me on their TV show. Michael and I used to have a shitty little community TV show and we got Jackson and Charmy on as guests to interview once. No one. We paid for their flights. No, Marty paid. Yeah. That was straight out of my pocket. Yeah, Marty paid. Yeah. They flew us up there. I stayed in the hotel. Paid for accommodation. For you, not for Charmy though. I guess that was because Charmy lived in Brisbane and I had the hotel. Why wouldn't you just stay at Charmy's house that night? I don't know. I wanted to get a hotel. Yeah, fair enough. We had no followers. I think Charmy actually had, because you know how he lives with his aunt. He was living with his aunt at the time. She lives in his house. I think she might have had a friend there. Or they had like her family member there. So there was only spare rooms and I just said, fuck it. We're flying up and sleeping on the floor. And also I would. We had no followers. Don't ever forget that. She should show everyone on camera then. I know. Meth dots. Swirl on the pipe once in many times. My lovely girlfriend has a pimple popping obsession and I have to be the brunt of it. She rips out my beard hairs, causes this and now I have red marks on my face. I'm dating. Yeah, Jackson's dating a girl also. He's not gay. Yet. Maybe I am. We have had. Well, you fucking told me. Me, Michael nearly fucked. On New Year's Eve once. We won't get too into it. We won't get in. We won't get too into it. We won't. It was a joke. Oh, look. It was pretty close to becoming a reality. Michael was spreading his cheeks apart on a couch. Completely naked. New Year's Eve fucked. Anyway, long story short. We're always nude around each other, showing each other our parts and that. I had a morning bone. I was walking out. I'm probably hard 90s at the time. Even if us three and Greg and Nigel were all in the car driving together, I would probably somehow have an erection. And I just always get it out and show everyone. That's just what I do. I walked down the morning with an erection, as always. Michael was naked, showing everyone his asshole. Midway through a bender. A few words got thrown around. A few ideas would pop through each other's heads. Things were said. Things were said. Nothing was done. Thank God we came to our senses. It would be weird right now if we had a fuck. We wouldn't have fucks. I wouldn't fuck you. You'd have to roofie me. We won't see. We're never going to see. I'm never going to fuck you. Next question is from michelton underscore. And he or she has asked crunchy or soft tacos asking for a friend. Both. I like both. Together. Yeah. I'll get a perfect answer. You go. I reckon soft. But yeah, I can understand crunchy. Okay. You want to hear my answer motherfuckers? Crispy taco with the soft on the outside. Double. A double cast. A crispy taco in a burrito thing. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Why has that not been done before? It has been. Taco belt do it. But that's just yes. Fuck. We never heard that. She's going to go there. Should we take the pork cast there? All right. Bring the you ready? How long does this take to pack up, Greg? It's Gregory. It's Gregory. Gregory. I'm sorry. Gregory Brown. Really? Yeah. So it's not your middle name? And why is it? Isn't that illegal to have your dad's name as your middle name? Dude, no, no. My dad's middle name is Michael. 100%. That's not a lie. Are your parents proud of you? No, yes. Ever since? 9-11. Yeah. Ever since 9-11. Post 9-11. They've been a bit weird with you. Terrorist. Hey, I didn't do it. I just helped. You gave a shout out to some of the boys, did it? Anyway, next question is from Myrna Daniel 636. And he or she has asked, if you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be? Cup of bum. Yeah, yours would be arseholes. 100% bumhole. Yeah. Just a wall of arseholes protruding out of them and you just go and suck along each one. Hundreds of arseholes. It would have to be like real life food. I don't know, probably sushi. Pizza for you. Yeah. Wow. Really? Pizza for you. Hawaiian pizza. So that is your number one. Half of it's got chili flakes because it gets a bit too much. Anyway. And all. He had three lunches today. Because he hates everything he ever orders. And Myrna would be just an assortment of vegetables. Actually, sorry. An assortment. Actually, I loved it. Michael, you're being very rude. Mine would be an assortment of vegetables, not because they taste good, but just because sometimes they become health conscious. And I know right now that that is what I should be eating. So that's what it would be. No. And I want to change my answer because I live with Loki. When he cooks, it's my favorite. And Sate, no meat. Just Sate vegetable stir fry. Unbelievable. Where's the protein though? Yeah, it's in the beans. Next question is from Sene Coastal Life. And he or she has asked to Jackson, have you ever felt embarrassed? Not like real, real embarrassment. Like there's been obviously little things when we do videos, but nothing where I'm like, remember the time I drank your piss? That wasn't embarrassing. Yeah, I know. If anything would be embarrassing for you. Oh, my Snapchat story? Well, it wasn't really embarrassing. It was kind of just like, fuck, because it looked so little. I'm trying to think of the last time I got really, really embarrassed. Dude, you make me embarrassed on the regs. Seeing people from my past life when I used to be a tennis coach. Now, it's so embarrassing. Because usually really rich business owners or whatever. And it's always like, oh, seeing your videos, it's very funny. You just not have a past life. Yeah. I thought about that. But then I thought like, I don't want to lose that. You know? I don't want to forget it because it helps. I mean, if you have dementia, it's stupid. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. My name died of that. Like, I don't know if that's what killed her. That's what she had before she died. She fully forgot who I was. Dude, same, same as mine. Anyway, next question is from, we can't see it because Michael fucked up the screenshot. Is Nigel Jackson's dad, if so, did he get us funny slash craziness from him? We answered this last fucking week's podcast. Yeah. Is he, is he, he told us that he wasn't, but is he your dad? Well, he said he wasn't. Yeah. And I guess that just sums it all up. Well, it's my childhood. Yeah. Nigel is Jackson's biological father, but he is a bit ashamed. All right. The next segment has been renamed. What was it? It's really close. And basically this is just a segment where we talk about an old story and it just so happens that the story that we're going to talk about this week is our time in LA and Jackson was there for half of it. Oh yeah, this is perfect. It is. Everything is working out perfectly, Greg. LA was a good time. It was a great time. Happiness was everywhere, but for the. So the first thing we want to talk about and we'll try and talk about them in chronological order, but the first thing that happened when we were there was we fucking destroyed our Airbnb. This is a 2.5 to 3 million dollars. I would like to rudely interrupt here and say them saying destroyed is like a very, like what's the word, like a understatement because it wasn't destroyed. It was like very, very, very minor compared to other Airbnb's that we usually go to in America. That was just a few fly streams thrown away. We filled a whole spa with piss and rubbish everywhere. A few broken windows. That is all nothing that bad. We've done a lot worse. And also the. And this wasn't our fault, but every time someone had a shower upstairs, the sink would overflow in the kitchen and and sewage would just flood the entire kitchen. Actual shit. It was it was a shit Airbnb. This house is worth millions of dollars and it was fucking shit. Like there's there's it's a two story house and the third story is the fucking balcony with a fucking spa spa. And then we would just open the windows from the the first story and piss into the spa and the the spa became our toilet. And yeah. And you know, the ground became our rubbish. Some other highlights from LA. We Michael got a tattoo of one of our friends. Friends name was so smashed. One night we got a bit sloshy sloshed and we went out and with some friends that just so happened to be in LA and Michael got one of their names tattooed on his asshole. Perot. He's a good dude. One time this is finding his part. It's my favorite moment of the whole trip. We were coming home after filming a few clips in Hollywood to our place in Uber. And Marty just lets his fart rip wherever he is, whenever, whenever. So basically he let this fart rip so loudly in this Uber and the Uber driver put the windows down sped from went from like fucking it filled him with rage. The scent of my what I did filled him with rage and he became a really aggressive reckless driver. And it was that was funny. Another thing that he literally was driving 100 kilometers in a 60 zone weaving in like LA traffic's fucked. They're overpopulated. They fucked themselves with just not a good traffic system. And he's just going flying in between three lanes just like a fucking race car driver. And then with rage he was fueled with hate from what Marty did. And yeah, it was the funniest moment of the trip for me. We got super high went on a TMZ tour. Do you guys do that higher? Yeah, they record you. No, because it was scary because like we were highest fucking then we get there and then we find out that they try and make it super interactive and they want everyone to get involved and talk about shit. And we were highest fucking like please don't ask us fucking questions. We're trying to like slid down the seats trying to hide as much as we could. But she just kept asking us questions. I never when I say us. I mean me because Michael refused to say anything. So there'd be awkward silence. I was like this. I was like this. So she couldn't even fucking see Michael and I had to answer everything that she is asked. It was so shit. Jackson, why didn't you guys simply say you didn't speak English? Yeah, we should have some Australia. Hey, how are you going guys? You guys in Australia? What do you think of this? Throw some shrimp on the burry, man. We should have said that. Every American says that throw some shrimp on the bar. I've never heard of one Aussie ever say that shrimp. Imagine we know fucking prawn shrimp. Fucking prawn. Yeah, well, I don't own a Barbie. Like eat them cold. The dough. No, the dough. I eat them raw. Who's fucking barbecue is a fucking shrimp. You fucking eat you peel a prawn and eat it. You're in barbecue or fucking shrimp. The fucking prawn is about this big fucking truth. It's about this fucking big dumb dog. Can't fuck. Fuck off. I hate them. Fuck dumb dogs. I hate them. Yeah. So that's our LA story. It was pretty cool. We met some cool people. We met Vitaly. We went to the team 10 house. We met Chad Tepper and Zach arse. The best thing about California is weed's legal. And you can literally buy gummies. The highest we've ever like that is a good high eating. You guys do edible gummies there. Do we ate a whole pack in three days? You know they can make you hallucinate. Yeah. I don't think we hallucinate a bit. Yeah. And I didn't say them ones did. I said sometimes edibles can have that effect. But you clearly he's not listening. He's not listening to you. Is he fuck with Michael? How old are you? I'm like a hundred. So that's the story of LA anyway. The next segment has been not renamed. It's just it's got in brackets guest Jackson. And I guess maybe Matthew Gregory Brown thought that Jackson's first name was guest or something. And then his last name was Jackson. But fuck all dog. Why is there a pop in it? What do you mean pop in it? Fucking massive. It's not a whitehead or anything. It's like probably like a bite. Try and squeeze my skin. You slap. It's because you're covered in. You don't. You got one here you little fuck. No, that's actually a tattoo, mate. Yeah, he's got that bump tattooed on. Fucking do not look at me and notice anything. We might as well do a little bit of guest Jackson. Yeah. Yeah. Who are you? Oh, you're gonna actually talk a bit about other stuff. Yeah. Interesting. Like what do you want to be? Where are you gonna be in five years? Have you heard of Charmy? Yeah. He's hurting. He's big deal, man. What do you guys want to know? I want to know. I want to know what you're doing, man. What the fuck are you doing? Just sitting here at my friend's shitty house covered in piss waiting for the cooler house made to cook it up a nice vegan feed. Jackson used to live in this house. He used to dwell in this area. Yeah, he used to sleep with me. No, he's never slept over. I think I actually slept in the bed all the time. I had that room and I liked the bed more because your bed was just fucking. You would live every night. My bed was fucked because of his cunt. He's fucked one of my mattresses too. He fucked nine girls on my bed. No, no. I pissed a lot. Nine girls. I pissed nine girls. You're so far away from the mind. Oh, yeah. I pissed all over Jackson's. No, that's your spare bedroom mattress. I walked in there after I got back from America into my like where I left my mattress before or whatever the fuck was going on. There's like three big piss stains. It's just bottles of piss everywhere that is solidified because it's been sat there for so fucking long. Solid chunks of piss. Just crap everywhere. Pizza boxes and just this man lives like it's disgusting. He has a piss bottle. He keeps a piss bottle next to his bed. Oh, yeah. I said that. He doesn't. It's going solid. No, I did that because Manique was staying over. I didn't want to wake you guys up going to the bathroom at night. It's not that fucking loud. It's fucking the toilet. This house is like a fucking anything you can. Why don't you go and buy something? You can hear a cockroach walk down the stairs and they walk downstairs. I actually enjoyed living here. But the moment Marty moved out, it's like kind of went a little vibe. Just got lost a bit. Yeah, yeah. Agreed. It's never been the same since I left. It was fun when we're all here because like Michael didn't drink quite as much. Marty left. Michael started drinking more and I don't really like alcohol like that. I don't judge, but he's a loser. So I left and I left fast. Did you get you only went 200 meters up this tree and you want me to come over tonight to play? I mean, what are you going to? You know what's a snake? I'm not going to shower either. Can I sleep in this spare bed? Yeah, you can actually. But don't fuck that one because that's the brand new mattress. My old bed. I'm sleeping on the piss bed in my normal room because I like that mattress more. He is. He swapped his new mattress with my old piss mattress. I mean, your old piss mattress is mine. I left a nice expensive bed here and he fucked it. Yeah, you can't ever leave him. If you leave a mattress with Michael for six months, it's fucked straight away. I was at Charmys the other day you're filming and out of the back, there's just this mattress next to the bush. And that's what they put out for Michael when he's there because he pisses everywhere. No, we'll fucking out. Yeah, yeah. You're a pathetic excuse of a fucking out of one bed. Have a human not an adult. A human. You're a woman. And I'm going to have my way with you later. So, Jackson, fuck Mary Kill, me, Michael Nigel. I know I'm going to be the fuck. I'm going to be the fuck. Maybe. You would love to fuck me, I reckon. You would love it. I know why you're so cocky. Like, what makes you think that I want to fuck you? You're also lonely. Yeah, I'm more feminine. You're changing his skinnier. You're changing his answer, don't you? Yeah, yeah. You can't manipulate me into voting. Oh, yeah, he'd kill me, actually. I don't know if I'd kill you. I do like being around you sometimes. I probably like Mary Nigel because he's got more money. Nah, fuck, I couldn't marry Nigel. He's when he shits, it wreaks the whole fucking house out. I'm probably married Marty's because he's the healthiest. And I know that I'm going to have a partner for a good long time. Fuck. You know that I won't do you wrong, bro. You'll be loyal. Yeah, I'll be fucking with you to the day you die. I can't. And you're going to look good, fuck. More importantly, you're healthy. He's an alcoholic and Nigel drinks 10 coffees a day. So, in terms of health department, marry for longevity, Marty. Fuck, it's so hard because like, I don't want to fuck Nigel, but I don't want to kill you. Do you want to know who Nigel killed? No, I don't tell him after. You know, I kill Nigel and fuck. Nigel kill me. It's hard to say when I'm sitting next to you. He did. Yeah, he killed you. He's trying to know he's that I'm killing that. That one hurts. So, yeah, kill Michael, fuck Nigel and marry Marty. He changed. Oh, what was my original answer? Kill Nigel. Yeah. Yeah, kill Nigel, fuck her. I let you, you almost did. You almost did, right? You've already nearly done it, eh? Can I be drunk? Yeah, of course. Oh, cool. You licking yourself up to the heels? At least I know my fucking, the choice of married is going to live for longer than a few more years. Yeah. Oh, look, he's already finished that glass. Yeah, that's all my alcohol is on. That's it. So, I'm bored. Can we finish this? I'm going to bed. You want to play CT? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've got heated beers in the fridge for tonight because I knew you were coming. Don't excite me. I just told you he's giving you six beers. No, he's not. I was like, when did I bought you a case once? I didn't lie about that. I bought a six pack. I knew we were going to have a good session tonight. Are you serious? Yeah. Are you serious? I've won. If you're serious, dude, I will. No, you're not. No, I am fucking serious. I went down to the shop. I went there with Nigel today. I've got a six pack of beers. I've got some soft drink. Some sticky tape. Some starburst. I'm soaking now. So, the next segment has not been renamed. It's just still called prank call. And for this week's prank call, I'm going to call Domino's. And Michael is going to insert some words that he's written down. And I have to incorporate them into my order while I'm calling Domino's. Here we go. Hey, can I just place a pick up order, please? Friction. There's just a bit of friction. What sort of value pieces do you guys have? Multiple sclerosis, whatever that word is. I've just got multiple sclerosis. Is there any sort of chicken pizzas? What are the chicken pizzas that you have? Empathy. Pardon? Empathy. Rash. Empathy? Yeah. No, no, that's just like a slang word that I use. Empathy when something's cool. All right. So, yeah, let's just put down one of those barbecue chicken pizzas. With rash on it. Silverback. Yep, rash. Yeah. And do you guys have any silverback meat? Pardon? Crystal man. Do you guys have any silverback meat? Yeah, yeah, sorry. I've never really ordered from this before. I'm not sure what the ingredients are called. Do you guys not have silverback meat or? Crystal man. Or a crystal man? I'm not sure. Right. Okay. What sort of other beef pizzas do you have? Boiled. We have the beef and onion. Is that boiled or? It's like put in an oven. Oh, wow. That's so pedophile. Cat skin. All right. Well, I'll just get what was it? Oh, there's like a meatlovers or something. I'll just get that with. Barbecue chicken. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So a barbecue chicken and then I meet lovers with extra cat skin. Hang on. My teeth are just bleeding, bleeding teeth. Birth operation. And there's this birth operation. Do you guys have any sides as well? Birth operation? Retarded development. Yeah, we do have sides. We have. All right. So so far. So let me just read this order back out. So we got the barbecue chicken. We got a barbecue meatlovers with extra cat skin. And then we have a birth operation. Birth operation. And retarded development. Development. I've got a shattered heart. I'm sorry. Shattered heart. Sorry. I'm just I've never ordered here and I've just got a bit of a shattered heart listening to you. I'm. Demented. A bit embarrassing and I feel a bit demented. Do you have a let's just leave those two pizza orders. What sort of drinks do you have? Enrolling children. We have like pet solar. Do you enroll in children? So you guys are like enrolling children? Are you guys like enrolling children? Like to work at Domino's or is that? Efficient rapers. Yeah. Yeah. Was there like because I just there's like an efficient rapers down the road. And I just I sort of need work. Happy dick. Fuck yeah. Happy dick. Happy dick. Yeah. Friction. Active friction. Yeah. Yeah. Sure. My name is friction. F-R-I-C-T-I-O-N. Frictions boil. Friction spoil. Friction s-s-p-o-i-l. Friction, friction spoil. Teeth are bleeding. Teeth are bleeding. Demented with the shattered heart. Yes, please. And I'm also demented with the shattered heart. Enrolling children. Efficient rapist. And you guys are enrolling children and you guys are efficient rapists. Is there no more? Happy dick. Happy dick is also the last one on the list. You've been part of a prank call. Thank you very much for your help. I cancel that. Cancel that order. Okay. At the end. Okay. At the end was like she was a hater. The hard part is making it all the way through the prank or without them hanging up. And we did that. Yeah, it's not usually that you get- Like, that's a lot. That's a big list. That's a long list of shit to say. Like, I could have kept going. Like, do your job better and fucking hang up on us. Oh, yeah, I snuck those phrases in there. Well, I think that's just, it's hard to tell. I sound like a normal person. What do you think, Jackson? That's what most people sound like when they order food. You mean very entertained by our prank call. You've been enjoying what we've done. And on that note, we're the best. Best. We're the best. We're the best. We're the best. We're the best.