 So this morning I was watching a video from some of my contemporaries talking about masculine and feminine energy and I often times have to laugh at some of these conversations first off many of it is just this rhetoric that's generalizations that men are turning into women and women are turning into men and I thought I'd dive into this Conversation for a few minutes begin to share my perspective Now to give you some examples of how women are turning into men like the boss bitch out there Or women that are more goal oriented or career oriented or whatnot. I'm asking that's becoming more like men I want to ask everyone what is so wrong with that? What is so wrong with a woman being empowered in her life to actually support herself because the reality is is We've been in for for hundreds of thousands of years women have been dependent on men for survival And if you if you experienced what I experienced about 15 20 years ago I know a lot of men a lot of couples in the age of 40 began having Divorces with their partners and a lot of women found themselves on the short end of the stick From a financial perspective and I simply mean to say is that there isn't enough income There isn't enough resources often times to go around When to when a couple goes through a divorce and they had to put themselves out in the workplace to support themselves So I'm here to simply say is women being dependent on men You're really having to trust that this man has a the capacity to Financially support a couple for 20 30 40 even 50 years having that not expectation But that's certainly that dynamic that's been around for hundreds of thousands of years And I'm simply here to say there's no guarantee in life So a woman being self-supportive is actually a good thing a woman being empowered So why does that have to be characterized as masculine energy? How about that just being empowered? Okay, so now let's talk about the narrative that men are turning into women that they're becoming more in touch with their emotional side as If there's something wrong with being more in touch with their emotional side and what I mean to say is Given that men often times don't live as long as women part of that is because they hold on to their Emotional stress and they die much younger because they stuff their emotions in So I'm here to say there's a benefit for a man being able to tap into his emotional side to be able to emote to be able to Release stored up energy and I don't see anything wrong with that Okay, now let's go back to some of these narratives about women being you know in their masculine energy Well, it's interesting that a lot of coaches will characterize the women in their masculine energy as being Controlling as being criticizing act in a state of contempt to be defensive Well, so I have a real problem is controlling behavior masculine is being defensive masculine is being critical of another person is being in contempt masculine Because I'm assuming that if a man was controlling a man treated a woman with contempt a man was criticizing a man was stonewalling a man was being defensive all of these Behaviors that are unattractive of a man was being that he's being an end of masculine You see and the same thing when a man is You know being in a state of generosity like receiving a woman making effort as if there's something wrong with that See a lot of times the the narrative that men are turning into women is that they're becoming overly passive that that's feminine energy Well passivity isn't a really healthy Energy whether you're a man or a woman being controlling isn't a healthy energy whether you're a man or a woman So, okay, so now we have to talk about how this relates into the bedroom Everybody talks about polarity and it's important to have the masculine polarity and the feminine polarity See my near my belief system is this if two horny people have sex What does it matter who's on top and who's on bottom? Who what's it matter who initiates to horny people like to have sex? So so you have to be in my opinion horny enough to want to have sex because here's the the the challenge with this Conversation about polarity It's usually that a woman is in a passive state and the man has to initiate sex because he's the masculine She's the feminine. Well, what if she is not let's just say in the mood. What if she's feeling sick? What if she's maybe angry at him? For him to be in his masculine to take charge and take her in the bedroom and claim her Well, you know, that's disregarding another person's feelings So I think when it comes to the sex conversation is to determine Yes, it's important that there's someone initiates But you also have to have a receptive person to initiate sex and it's certainly important to have a healthy sex life within a Relationship I'm a big proponent of that But do we have to make it that's so dramatic that it has to be you know The man initiates and the woman just receives well if she's not in a space to receive, you know He can initiate all he wants. It's still not going to create the dynamic that this narrative talks about now a Man certainly has to create a safe space a woman has to certainly create a safe space Certainly two people have to want to engage in a physical relationship But to create all these narratives and by the way, men want women who initiate sex. Does that make him a feminine? You know, we like it when you ladies initiate sex because if it's always on us You know, we're dependent upon you always being in a good mood for it That's why I prefer to horny people having sex because then you don't have to I've what's the What's the expression who wears the pants and the family who cares when you're in the bedroom? You don't want to be wearing pants in the bedroom. You hopefully want to be naked All right with that said our men becoming more like women certainly there's a shift in Going on right now where men are actually being afforded the opportunity to be more emotionally expressive I think that's a good thing for men and I think it's a good thing for women I also think it's really good that women are in a space of empowerment So they're no longer dependent upon men for their survival and I think that's a good thing too So now I shared something earlier about the negative aspects of a woman being in Controlling contempt and how that's characterized as masculine See, I'm really here to say from my perspective. That's really bad behavior bad behavior It's not masculine and when a man is being momentarily passive I don't consider that a woman being passive is necessarily a good thing either So let's talk let's throw out the gender terminology because we we all say that energy is not gender-based But the reality is is we are making some sort of assumptions that these are gender based So let's throw this out the window and let's call it what it is bad behavior Whether it's a man or woman doing it does not healthy Needy behavior whether it's a man or woman is not healthy. What's truly healthy is a Emotionally mature people enter and entering into a relationship with one another and certainly There's a benefit of having roles in the relationship and what I mean to say not gender-based roles But for example my sweetheart, there's a picture of her right there. She's actually planning our next trip Why because she's good at planning trips. It's not that she's in her masculine It's not that I'm in the my feminine that she's planning the trip She just happens to be better at that so what I'd prefer couples to really recognize is Leverage your strengths, you know, some people have like in case with Marie. She has the strength of planning a trip She's good at it. She's planned a gazillion of them that she knows how to find the deals Okay, that's not her being in her masculine energy and me being in my feminine energy. It's leveraging her strength. I Happen to be the one that kind of Leads our spiritual relationship by planning spiritual events for us So for our relationship so we can strengthen our relationship, that's not me being in my masculine That's not me being in my feminine. It's just merely we leverage each other's strengths and we Capitalize on that. See the minute we make this gender-based Gender roles stereotypes that sort of thing it creates a ton of confusion for human beings I'm here to to suggest an alternate way of doing things by throwing out the gender rhetoric and Actually leaning into a heart-centered way of approaching relationship. I highly recommend reading the book Reading the book if the Buddha dated if the Buddha dated This is a great book that throws out the genderic gender rhetoric and says how do we connect with one another? At a heart-centered level maybe if we started to focus more on both the physical aspects of a relationship the tactile things paying for bills and The doing in relationship and also focused on the being in relationship for both men and women alike and stop Creating a narrative that men are bad that women are bad Because it's the creating this narrative of men are bad and women are bad or they're weak and they're too strong Create so much animosity frustration anger that couples aren't going to connect with one another And I'm here to encourage a more conscious way of approaching a relationship Then this childlike way with a lot of this rhetoric out there is this sinking in is this resonating if it is please Let me know. Please post a comment below. I'd like to hear your thoughts and hi Linda As always if you find down in the group, please tell your friends about midlife love mastery Send them to my website Jonathan as a comm have them click the group coaching button so they can join our fantastic group And I'm gonna sign off this videos. I always do first off give myself a big gigantic Jonathan bear hug of self-love I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone Pat a teddy bear pillow Give it or them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love and let's face it We could all use more love in our lives. Thanks a bunch. Bye. Bye now. Bye