 Ever watch a video, a streaming series or an ad featuring groups of friends, and for the briefest of moments wonder, why can't I have that? We do that too. That's legit natural. Humans are generally social creatures, striving and thriving to get our group on. Though, but how do we get there? Because you know you want meaningful friendships, not just a group for show. Ironically, that also means there's a lot on the line here, so you're nervous. Let's help you out with some tips. Even better. For this video, we have Avery and Terry to help provide examples where needed. Wave hello you two, let's get started. 1. Highlight similarities As much as we know you're your own strong individual person, you will tend to get along better with someone who has at least some of the same interests. Sure, it was easier in school because everyone was stuck going to the same place, the same room every day for hours on end, so you're bound to talk to someone simply due to that frequency. That environment can be recreated now. By you, just participate or join in a group. Think of stuff you generally like. Is it cars? Maybe mudding keyboards? Maybe I like pottery? I just joined a pottery class. Hey, me too. I saw you there. Seriously? You make the best of things. I didn't think you'd be in a class. Oh well, thanks, you too. And it looks like they're off talking about pottery. I see beautiful friendship in the making. A group could be physical or even an online discussion thread when you have something to talk about that first big step has been taken. 2. Start simple and open Let's say you've initiated a conversation, but then it suddenly gets awkwardly quiet. Does this sound unfortunately familiar? That's a worry. Many of us tend to get ahead of ourselves and we end up asking too much too soon. We also tend to ask questions that can be answered yes or no. So start simple and ask questions that start with things like how or what. Um, Terry? Avery? Care to show what we're talking about? Sure. Right. Um, hey Avery? I saw you walking a dog the other day. Is that yours? No. Okay guys, that's an example of closed question name. Let's show them open. Right. Um, hey Avery? I saw you walking a dog the other day. How'd you get a dog? Oh, a big golden colored dog? Yeah, no, that's not mine. It's my neighbours. I walk their dog on occasion. I mean, I love dogs but, you know, expensive. Oh, I get that. That dog looks so happy and friendly. Reminds me of the time I had a job at a pet shop. See? Open. This will give you more information and you can then ask questions based on the answer that they gave you. This shows and confirms that you're listening to them and hear about what they say. After all that, you share something related about yourself. Think of it as a trust move. They've trusted you with some info and you're now trusting them. And all good relationships are based on trust. Number three. Joke around. Good, non-aggressive humour is a great way to bond with others. It helps to break the ice and ease orchestra's moments. It lightens the atmosphere, which makes others comfortable. Having a good sense of humour associates you with good times and confidence. So people may choose to speak and open up to you because they know it's not going to be swamped by a downer or a lecture. Number four. Share a meal. And don't try to start a friendship when you're angry. Food is good for the soul and it's good for making friends. You're in a place of comfort and good cheer when eating a meal. Sharing that face with someone means you now have more than one person in that same happy space and conversation will naturally flow. Number five. Compliment them. Don't go overboard though, because then it might feel creepy or fake. Just be genuine and let someone know when they've got something good going on. It can be something simple like hair colour or a compliment on a skill they've likely been working on. Avery, Terry, you're up. Hi, I just wanted to let you know I think your Mandalorian armour is amazing. Thanks, I made it. You made that? You have got to be crazy talented. Now the person associates you with feeling good and the compliment has also acted like an invite to talk to you. Other people get nervous too and a compliment is a great way to allay fears that they'll be smart. Number six. Seek help. No, no, no, no. Don't do this through gathering minions or acting incompetent. In this kind of help, we mean being open to asking for someone for assistance or advice and something you're truly and genuinely interested in. So it's not like you're making them your lackey. You're complimenting them by acknowledging their expertise in an area. If you're inquiring because you're curious, you're acknowledging that what they're good at is a desirable thing. Generally, it allows them to perform small acts of kindness, which can lead to increase closeness and a connection. They feel valued and helpful and people like to know that they matter. The key to this, though, is that the interest must be genuine because pretend or polite curiosity feels fake and makes it seem like you're either being condescending or have an unsavoury, ulterior motive. Number seven. Are your friends? Have friends too. This is where you're using the fact that the odds are in your favour. See if you can be friends with your friends' friends. Chances seem good. After all, you have lots of common interests with your current friend. Chances can be good that their friend has some overlapping interests too. Plus, you trust your friend and thus there's a better chance that their friend is safe. By being your friend's friend, they've been vetted. There's a far lower chance of unpleasant surprises and you already have something in common. The mutual friend. Number eight. Spend time. Like anything new, a bond needs to be nurtured. So when you click with someone, that's the critical time to cement the bond. Of course, your older friendships do need care too, but the bond there is already pretty solid and can survive longer periods of downtime and a new friendship. Pick an activity that allows you to actually get to know each other. Interact over social media, play games or do that similar interest you have. Hey, that reminds me. Terry, I got some new clay and extra potters wheel and some new designs. Want to do some pot? Sculpting? Sounds great. I have so much to tell you from the last couple of weeks. See? These two can catch each other up and continue to feel relevant and needed in each other's lives. Number nine. Dealing with doubts and fear. We all have these same doubts and fears. Mostly, it's about things we have very little control over. Like, what would that person think? What if it doesn't work out? Part of dealing with the doubts and fears is to realize that because we are all such varied individuals, no one can be good friends with everyone. Meaning, if your best efforts aren't reciprocated, that's not a feeling on your part. Focus on why you're trying to be friends with the person, rather than worrying about their reaction, which you can't control. Approach them because you're genuinely interested, not faking concern. You're focusing on them, taking the spotlight off of you, and that can also help you feel less on the spot. Well, I was in this group and this one person was talking. They seemed to like all the same movies I liked. They'd even read this series of books I thought no one else had read. But when I tried to talk to them, they just insulted my opinions and kept shutting me down. Well then, it sounds like you approach them with an open mind and friendliness. If they slam the door on your face, that says more about them than you. That's right, Terry. That person's reaction was stating they would not be a good friend to you, Avery. You were genuine and good. Making friends can be hard because we tend to focus on what they want, and it can be easy to forget that what you really want is someone who gets along with you, not you bending over backwards to change who you are for them. Friends will, of course, have an effect on each other, but in the end, if you have to do a 180 to be someone's friend, are they really friends with you or just with the act? You are worthy of friendship, so go out there and get them. What have your experiences been in making friends? How did your best friendship start? Please share, comment and discuss below. You can always make a new friend in us by hitting that like button. See you soon!