 And usually when you're nervous the thing is usually when you're nervous you tend to like tighten up a little bit more you tend to Be less expressive So I was like to say overdo the shit out of this one if there's a second thing I want you to do in conversation I want you to be that overly empathetic child Right, she says that her dog died you better have a look on your face like your like like mother just died like that second I Mean you know well wishes for all of your mothers of course I don't There was a graphic example. I know I apologize if I've said If she let's something happier, you know, she just you know talks about how she did something really cool You better have a look on your face like you just like rode over the Grand Canyon in a motorcycle I'm not asking you to be fake. I'm asking you to overcompensate for your natural tendency to tighten up not listen and not respond emotionally The way that she would like the most Second thing I want you to do aside from teaching out of conversation be that overly empathetic child There's few things in this world that turn on a woman more Then when she knows that a man is just fully focused on her Not even thinking about anything, but just completely clued in completely tuned in Few things will turn on a woman more than when she's getting genuine strong attention from a man few things Second technique for really being present. I like to call this one relating and personalizing Complicated name. What do I mean by that relating? refers to relating your own personal experience whatever Personalizing means asking more personal questions to her about what she's talking about relating. Oh, wow. I did this one time Personalizing, what was that like? Like did you enjoy that? What was your experience like? Would you recommend it? How did you excuse me? How did you feel about that more personal questions about her about regarding whatever she was talking about and here's the secret about this stuff? All this other stuff all this listening stuff we're talking about the secret is is it requires no effort? What's so ever? Zero the only effort that I'm ever doing in a conversation is Those couple questions that I mentioned And forcing her to have a conversation sometimes when it's necessary, right? That's the only work. I'm ever doing the rest of this stuff It's just it's no thought whatsoever relating and personalizing. I'm just fully tuned into her. I'm just fully listening to her and as I am It's naturally gonna make me think of things in my past. I'm just naturally going to think of memories of things that are related to it No work whatsoever It just pops up when I'm really paying attention to somebody And if I'm really tuned in it's relating and if I'm really tuned in if I'm really thinking about what she's going through and imagining And imagining myself in that situation what it would be like. I'm gonna have natural curiosities I'm gonna wonder what that's like. I can't I won't be able to help myself Personalizing simply an expression of your natural curiosity. No thinking required. What's up? What was that like? I want to know I'm just genuinely curious relating personalizing All of it. Once again, it's just happening in this bubble before the lull. This is all Swirling around in this space getting her talking more the more you're really focused on her the more she's gonna talk The more you're like just relating personal stories that you're just inspired by and really asking questions that you're curious about the more she's going to talk And then the third technique I have for active listening I call it Following the trail of breadcrumbs And it's this one simple. It's based on the premise that women will always tell you what they want to talk about next if you're paying attention They'll always give drop little hints in the conversation. It's not complicated. We make it ourselves complicated. I think okay Well, I have to say something funny. I have to say something clever. I have to say something interesting. No Just take the easy layup She's like just take the lob that she's throwing right at you. Don't try to be fancy. Don't try to you don't have to She's gonna be like, yeah, it was fun. We did that for a couple years, but then you know, I had to stop Why did you have to stop? Oh, well, you know, I had some family stuff going on and my heart wasn't in it Well, I don't know if she wants to talk about the family stuff. Why wasn't your heart in it? Simple follow the trail of breadcrumbs that you're going to be talking about The trail of breadcrumbs that she's laying out for you. No need to look anywhere outside of the material She's just throwing at you if you're really paying attention It's how to get her talking more other than physical Questions teaching her out of conversation being fully present Three most powerful verbal ways that you're gonna get her talking more possibly the three most powerful because there's another one That's also ridiculously powerful Possibly the most powerful way that you can affect a woman and That is To give her validation in the form of sexual interest. Oh She's a girl She wants to feel desired by a man It's in her DNA. She can't help it and when she starts giving off signals that she's interested in you Signals are really simple. I have four She holding eye contact and that's a strong one. You're getting eye contact. What's over to She filling in those gaps the conversation. Why do you think I smile so much when she fills in that gap that I'm leaving for her? That's a sign that she's attracted to you Three she gets a real smile on her face not a polite smile, but a genuine smile. She's really happy Can't help it and for this is another strong one too She points her hips at you people always point their hips at what they're most interested in Woman gives me her hips. I'm all over her at that point But the point being is that when a woman shows her interest in you if you don't respond With interest as well. If you don't say I like you too You're basically telling him thanks, but no thanks, bro. Like you're cool. Good luck with everything I'm just not that into you or I'm just not confident enough to do something either way. She's gonna go find another guy She's out at the bar. She's looking for love. She's looking for excitement She wants to hook up or at least flirt and have a sexy time if you're not gonna be the guy to give it to her Onto the next one real easy So in that moment that she starts lighting up and she starts showing you she's interested in you if you do not Express your interest back towards her. You're gonna lose her every single time Why does she want a guy that doesn't like her or can't even express it if he does So you have to you must in those situations express your sexual interest giving her validation through your sexual interest and That's really What escalation is? That's really all escalation is is showing a girl your interest in her through the way you look at her Through the way you touch her through how bad you want your body on top of her and through the things that you're saying Because you can't help but think of them that she's turning you on That's all escalation is now. That's a whole another speech once again. You want to talk about that in questions or when we're out Awesome, let's do it, but it's that I'll probably be talking about that will probably be the basis for my speech next year No time whatsoever to delve into escalation, but what I will say very briefly is