 Why is the narcissist no longer interested in you? When the narcissist first met you They showed curiosity and concern for you. They had a strong desire to learn more about you They were interested in you. They were attentive and focused They attended to your comfort and wishes It seemed like they really cared about you They idealize you in the beginning. In that moment, you are perfect You are everything they have been looking for They put you on a pedestal They think of you as a perfect person with no faults They believe that you are better than everyone And that is why they are so eager to get involved with you That is why they may even talk about getting married or having children with you early on in the relationship Because in that moment, you are perfect to the narcissist They assume that they're never going to find anyone better than you Which is why they're willing to put all their cars on the table They're willing to do anything to secure you because in their minds This is it You are everything that they could want They're not going to find anyone better than you But they're not so eager to learn about your faults or mistakes in the beginning They don't want to learn about your flaws or imperfections They want to continue seeing you as this perfect person They want the fantasy So even if you do try to be vulnerable with the narcissist They're not going to show much interest in anything you have to say They will continue seeing you as this perfect person Who is everything that they could want and they will do whatever it takes to secure you They will throw everything on the back burner just to be with you Because in that moment you are perfect to the narcissist It doesn't get any better because they have this idealized image of you in their minds The more familiar the narcissist becomes with you The more they begin to lose interest in you they don't see you the same way as they did before They get used to you They get comfortable And you just don't do it for them like you used to But this has nothing to do with you It's not that you've changed It's just that the supply has lost its potency Every supply has an expiry date It no longer gives them the same effect as it once did It's like when you see a luxury car in a magazine or on a TV commercial You fantasize about it. I did that moment. It looks perfect But when you buy the car and you become familiar with it It's not the same as when you first had it The buzz wears off and then that car might even become an inconvenience to you when you have to maintain it Because it's no longer as fun and exciting as it was in the beginning and this is exactly How narcissists experience people when they first meet you You're new You're unfamiliar They're still trying to figure you out But the more time they spend with you The more they begin to lose interest in you They begin to think that you're not all that It becomes boring and tiresome as a result of repetition and over familiarity They become contemptuous towards you They begin to see you as though you're worthless or beneath their consideration Because they're used to you now When the narcissists first met you They idealized you in their minds you were perfect They overlooked your flaws in the perfections But as time went by They became more and more sensitive to any mistakes that you made Until it was like you couldn't do anything right Everything you did was wrong Even though you may not have changed at all They just see you differently now Because now they're more familiar with you The newness has worn off So even though you may have been vulnerable with them in the beginning And opened up to them about things you thought were significant or important for them to know And at the time there was no issue with what you could find in them Now they're blowing it up out of proportion Now it's become a big deal because the more time they spend around you The more they lose interest in you The more sensitive they become to your flaws or imperfections They can only idealize you As long as you reflect back to them everything they need you to be As long as you do what they want you to do Which is an unrealistic expectation of them to have of you They expect you to live for them They expect you to sustain their false reality And when you inevitably fail to do that It all falls apart That is when they begin to devalue you That is when you go from being this perfect person To being completely flawed But rather than realising that this is a flaw in their own perception They begin to see it as though you tricked them As though you presented yourself as this perfect person As though they were deceived by you When the reality is that from the moment they met you They idealized you They overlooked anything that they didn't like about you Because they wanted to project this idealized image onto you They wanted to live in a fantasy And when you struggle to sustain this fantasy for them That is when they blame you That is when they start to see it as though something is wrong with you When you get involved with a narcissist It's only a matter of time until they lose interest in you They look at it like If you are so great Why would you want to be around them Why would you be interested in them Because underneath the arrogance and grandiosity They're actually very insecure They lack confidence in themselves They don't think they're as great as they lead people to believe So whenever you're around them They assume there must be something wrong with you They think you must be crazy But at the same time They will also be very controlling over you They will want to spend every second of the day with you While they are devaluing you While they're trying to make you feel like you're nothing They're like addicts It's like they're looking at a line of cocaine Knowing that it's not going to do them any good But because they're addicted They can't help themselves They think that by increasing the dosage It's going to make them feel better But it just makes things worse They just need to take a step back They need to focus on something else But they can't help themselves Because they're addicted to you And when they look at you with contempt It makes them feel better about themselves There's really no greater high to a narcissist Than reducing a happy successful person To a miserable wreck It makes them feel like they're better than you It makes them feel something Which is all a narcissist really wants So even though the supply may have lost its potency They still get a kicker of beating you down And putting you beneath them When really They're just trying to distract themselves From the thought of why they can't appreciate you Especially if they see that other people value you It makes them feel like something is wrong with them Which is why they always have to put you down They have to make you feel like something is wrong with you Or something is wrong with anyone who values you They will tell you that those people Don't know what you're really like Because in the narcissist's mind You tricked them You weren't who you said you were When the reality is That they idealized you And the more time they spend around you The more they begin to lose interest in you The more sensitive they become to your flaws and imperfections They have to see it as though something is wrong with you Or anyone who values you They have to see it as though it's because they don't really know you Because otherwise that would mean there's something wrong with them When the narcissist loses interest in you They assume that it's because of something you did There are small windows Where they do recognize that they have a faulty perception of you Where they do realize that they just can't get the same fulfillment From you as other people do But they always fight against it They always find a way to justify the negative perception of you And that is why nothing ever changes That is why they're not going to appreciate you Unless they spend some time away from you And even then They're just going to re-idealize you again The cycle always repeats itself They cannot see you as a real separate human being Because they're not real And only a real person can recognize another real person Which is why they may see you But they don't really see you They just see a reflection of themselves Everything they hate about themselves is what they project onto you And yet they think they know you so well They think they're so familiar with you When the reality is That you don't even exist in their world The narcissist lives in a world with a population of one Where there is nothing more Than reflections of everything they either idealize or hate about themselves Thank you for watching I hope this video resonates with you Please like, comment, share and subscribe If you would like to donate My PayPal link is in the video description Coaching Inquiries You can email me at coaching.narchsurvivor.co.uk Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon