 I'm the Comic Weekly Man, the Jolly Comic Weekly Man, and I'm here to read the funnies to you happy boys and honeys. Yes, boys and girls, it's Comic Weekly Time, and here I come right into your house to bring a little fun and happiness. Right out of the pages of Puck the Comic Weekly straight into your living room, your friend the Comic Weekly Man, the Jolly Comic Weekly Man. Oh, little Miss Honey, how are you today? Oh, I'm hot. Well, what have you been doing to keep cool? Wally. How about I'm sure you don't go swimming all by yourself? Oh, no. Well, I'm proud to meet a child who is careful when he or she is around water, and I'm sure you're always careful when you're in swimming in a crowded pool too, and I know you wouldn't play dangerous tricks on anybody else. Oh, no. And now for a notion without making sure that a grown-up is right there beside me because you're not... Well, I can tell you right now, you're a good friend of mine because anybody who takes such safety precautions around water as you do is someone I admire. And you know you're a good example for everyone to follow. Yes, I am. Yes, you are. Now, could you please read the funnies? Puck the Comic Weekly. Very well, I'll read that in just a moment. But before I do, let's listen to this nice man. Puck the Comic Weekly. And on the first page, under bringing up Father Beatle Bailey. Magic wits for the music, please. Very well, my lady. Toot me a toot and tweet me a tweedle. Squeeze out music for Bailey the Beatle. Beatle and his company are out on an overnight bivouac, which means they're sleeping in tents on the ground. Beatle, who's been trying to go to sleep, exclaims, Oh, the ground is too damp. I'm going to sleep up here in the back of the truck if no one catches me. Next morning, as the sergeant is shaving, he says to one of his men, Oh, uh, Hot Rod, you better drive into town before breakfast and get those supplies. Okay, Sarge. Third picture, the truck is in town, and the driver has gone off to pick up his supplies. And then, Beatle wakes up. He stands up in his underwear and stretches. Oh, boy, that was a good night's sleep. Now, lady who's walking by sees him standing on the truck in his underwear. Yipe! How did I get here and clown? And last picture, top row, he wraps a blanket around him, leaps off the truck, and dashes for a store at his bare feet. I've got to find some clothes. Enough, Mama, in England. First picture, bottom row, he's in a store. Quick, quick, give me something to wear. And 10 minutes later, Beatle is standing in front of a mirror, wearing a gay sports shirt and bright slacks. The clerk says, uh, that'll be $28.50, sir. Uh, I don't have any money with me. Then take them right off. Do you understand? Right off. Fourth picture, bottom row, Beatle's hiding in an ash can. He sees Hotrod, the guy who drove the truck into town, loading a bag of potatoes onto it. Psst! Hey, Hotrod, bring me a potato sack. Hey, Beatle, you should be out on Bivouac. Not in an ash can. And last picture, the truck pulls into camp again. And Beatle gets out of the truck, wearing a potato sack. The sergeant takes one look at him and shouts, Bailey, you've been absent without leave. And Hotrod laughs, Ha, ha, ha, absent without pants is more like it. And Beatle, he clas- And he ends up back in camp in a potato sack, looking like a rotten potato. Oh, I'm sure he feels like one. Well, now how would you like to see what's happening to Roy Rogers? Oh, you know I would. All right, then, turn over the page, and go past Prince Val, who is in Ireland. Turn over page three. And here on page five is Roy Rogers. And you remember? And the trail had led him to the construction camp. And the three crooks were there, and while Roy was talking to Hard Rock Higgins, that's the leader, one of the other crooks was going to shoot Roy. But he slipped and fell, and Roy heard him. Pulled his gun and went after him. Well, let's read now and find out. Here we go with Roy Rogers, king of the cowboy. Ah, yip-a-yo, now here we go with Roy and Trigger. Ah, yip-a-yo. Roy dashes past Higgins. Higgins swings the hammer. Wildwood yells for Roy to duck. Roy quickly ducks, and the hammer sails over his head. Oh, blast it, I missed. Wildwood pulls the gun, and Higgins sees he's covered and pulls up his hands. Then Ham, one of the other outlaws, runs for his horse. Roy shouts, Hey, hold up there, mister. The third outlaw smiley starts for Roy to get him from behind. But he trips last picture-top roll. Roy whirls around. Oh, no, you don't. The smiley is knocked out. First picture-bottom roll Roy exclaims. Two men were hiding behind the ties. One got away. But I think this pair can tell us plenty about that payroll robbery. A few minutes later, Ham, the escaped outlaw, is burning leather, heading for the hideout to get all of the stolen loot for himself. At the same time, Dangerfield, the owner of the carnival, is approaching down the road. The outlaw sees him coming, and rains in behind a rock. Last picture, as Dangerfield's wagon reaches the rock, Ham shouts, All right, pull up that Dangerfield. Whoa, there, whoa. All right, Dangerfield, you're gonna help me grab a bag of loot, dead or alive. Oh, no, please, please, no violence. You should have my complete cooperation. No, he doesn't. Well, I'm afraid we'll have to wait and find that out next week. But now, let's turn over the page. Oh, look, bruh-rabbit. And I know you want to read that. Oh, yes, indeed. All right, here we go with Uncle Remus and his tales of bruh-rabbit. Say the magic words with me, please. Hippity hoppity, make it a habit to give us music for old bruh-rabbit. Uncle Remus says, This is about the time bruh-bar overslept his hibernating time. Bruh-rabbit is sitting on his porch, reading the paper. When bruh-coon and bruh-possum come running up, Hey, bruh-rabbit, bruh-bar has always slept his hibernating time. Yeah, nobody can wake him up. Well, if you try everything, then I'll try something else. You better come on inside. Five minutes later, bruh-rabbit is pouring something into a salt shaker. This is my extra-special magic wake-up powder. First picture bottom row, bruh-coon and bruh-possum have led bruh-rabbit to bruh-bar's cave. And we see bruh-bar lying on his back, his hands folded over his chest, snoring away. Bruh-rabbit whispers, Now everybody keep quiet and let bruh-bar do his bruntin'. And then bruh-rabbit shakes his wake-up powder onto bruh-bar's belly. Sprinkle, sprinkle, little dust. Now go ahead and do your rust. Suddenly, bruh-bar snoring is interrupted by a... And bruh-bar jumps to his feet and dashes down the road. No! And last picture, as bruh-bar disappears around the bend, bruh-possum asks, Hey, what is that magic wake-up powder? And bruh-rabbit answers, Well, in the language of us craters... It's what us call cow itch. And bruh-coon exclaims, Great. great day. And Uncle Remus says, sometimes nonsense makes a lot of sense. Yes you bet he did. But how long? Oh until he gets to the first stream where he can jump in take a bath and wash the itch powder off. You bet he's some trickster. Well now let's turn over to the very last page of the first section and look here's Dick's adventure. Oh yes. And you remember that last week some men came into this frontier town carrying gold. Why you bet we can't. Here we go with Dick's adventures. Say the magic words with me. Let's have music for adventurous Dick. Feverishly Dick and Mr. Campbell work to get the news of the discovery of gold in their paper. Second picture Campbell says mark my words Dick no one's gonna believe this silly yarn. Well gee I don't know Mr. Campbell I got a hunch they will. Last picture top row the door bursts open and a frenzied crowd surges in. They've heard of the discovery the gold mine and first picture second row the gold craze mob snatches the papers as fast as they come off the press. Hey it's true look says here gold mine near Sacramento. Hey I'm gonna get there and stake me out acclaim. Yeah me too we'll be rich won't have to work another day in our lives. Last picture second row editor Campbell pleads. Don't think you're gonna get rich just because somebody found a few ounces of gold. What do you mean a few ounces there's piles of it lying there in the ground just wait for us to go get it. Yeah and I'm leaving right now. Yeah me too. Last picture at daybreak after working all night putting out their paper Dick and Campbell leave the office as they head home Dick says. Hey Mr. Campbell how about us going ourselves and looking for gold and Campbell snorts. What you mean you believe it too Dick. This is going to turn out to be the greatest hoax of the age. Yes you bet they do. Well isn't all things like this there are those who will be lucky and those who've had a little more experience than the others and these are the ones who'll get rich and the ones who are unlucky and don't know so much about how to do things. They're the ones who aren't successful. Well worse than that they probably give up their jobs jobs they already have and spend all of their savings trying to get rich and they end up by losing everything. Yes it is but that's what happens when you're foolish. Well we'll find out about that next week but now look below Dick's adventures there's Rusty Riley and I'll read that in just a moment but first here's that nice man again with something interesting to say. Now here we go again with Puck the comic weekly and on the last page are the first section Rusty Riley. Magic words for the music please. Very well my lady. Gallop and run till the road is dusty give us music for his horse and Rusty. Decks and Rusty were on their way home to the milestone farm in the truck carrying Silver Lad the last of a famous line of race horses. A rival horse raiser Velvet Kane doesn't want Silver Lad to reach the milestone farm before Kane closes a deal to sell horses to a wealthy South America. He sent two of his men or key and scrub to make sure that Texas prevented from delivering Silver Lad to the milestone farm. They've set up a detour sign which has led the truck off the main road through some woods across a bridge and up to a shack where porkey and scrub are waiting. As the truck pulls into the yard or key slips away to dynamite the bridge so tax cannot get back onto the highway. Tax and Rusty get out of the truck scrub comes out of the shack to meet him. Tech says oh excuse me friend but I'm getting a little worried about this detour. How far is it to the main highway scrub replies. Detour why this ain't a detour mister this road ends just beyond here. How'd you get out on it. Why there's a detour sign where this road leaves the highway says the highways closed. It sounds like some fool's idea of a gag. You better come on in the shack and have a cup of coffee. Thanks friend. They go into the shack last picture top row. Me and Rusty are due in Lexington tomorrow so if you show us where we can turn the truck around scrub leans back in his chair and smiles. Mister we can barely turn our Jalopy around but in the morning we can try chopping a few saplings out and maybe we can find a way to get there. First picture bottom row we're at the milestone farm. Mr. Miles is talking to his daughter Patty. I must admit that I'm a little worried that I haven't heard from Tech since he started and then he thinks if he only knew how really worried I am. I stand to lose milestone farm unless I put over that deal with Senor Caldaris and I must produce silver lad to do it. And at the breeding farm of Velvet Kane Senor Caldaris the wealthy buyer from South America is saying I am more sorry Mr. Kane but I wish to cancel my order for your yearlings. I'm going to deal with milestone farm. I have just learned I have acquired a silver lad son of Gallant Corporal. Hey don't be silly Caldaris that's nothing but a rumor. You haven't seen that stallion have you. Mr. Miles is going to show him at the horse show tomorrow. I have his word. Well word or no word I got a grand that says he won't show silver lad. If he does you can forget my yearlings. And last picture back at the mountain shack for key has called scrub outside. Yeah what is it for key. Listen scrub I planted the dynamite under the fire into the bridge then I went down a highway to take down a detour sign scrub it's gone. Yeah that ain't good but just remember nobody can prove we put it there. Doesn't get back onto the road to bring silver lad to the milestone farm be able to sell his horses to that man from South America. And then. Well let's hope that that detour sign having disappeared will get scrub and porky into trouble and help Tex. I hope so. Now it's time to go to the second section of the comic weekly. Let's read now and find out here we go with Dagward and Blondie. I'm a food I'm a from Zim Zim Zambi conjure me music for Dagwin and Blondie. The phone and Mr. Dither's office rings. Yes hello it's Blondie who says last picture top row Dither's answers. Oh don't worry Blondie I'll tell him I'll tell him. Second picture second row the phone rings and Dagward's office. Hello Dagward Bumster to the firm of Dither's and company incorporated speaking. It's Mrs. Dither's who tells Dagward. Oh Dagward would you please tell my husband to meet me at the day's restaurant at six we're going to find there. Last picture second row Dagward says. Now don't worry Mrs. Dither's I'll tell him. I know Dagward that's why I called you I knew Julius would forget. At the end of the day Dagward and Mr. Dither's are putting their coats on to go home and then Dither says. Same to me there was some kind of message for you. Message message say seems to me there was one for you too. Now what was it. An hour later Dagward and Mr. Dither's are down at the waterfront still trying to remember what the message was Dither's grown. Oh this is terrible we don't dare go home until we remember those messages Dagward. And Dagward shoes his fingernails. Golly it's getting dark. And they think and think trying to remember. Two hours later the moon is high in the sky. Last picture third row Dither suddenly shouts. I remember the dress from the dressmakers. Oh yes and you're to meet your wife at the Dither's restaurant. Hooray. An hour later first picture bottom row Mr. Dither's comes into his house and there stands his wife glowering at him. Dither says. Now darling I went to the restaurant just like you said and you weren't there. I waited for you three hours and then came home. Now dear don't lose your temper. About this time Dagward comes into his house and there stands Blondie impatiently waiting for it. I went to the dressmakers just like you said dear but her shop was closed. That means we can't go to the dance tonight. Now Blondie remember I'm your lawfully wedded wife I mean husband. And a half hour later Mr. Dither's who is now a mess of bruises and bumps from the beating his wife has given him is on the phone calling Dagward. Oh hello Dagward I'm calling to find out how you made out. They can't remember a thing. Blondie was sure that Dagward would forget if she called him so she called Mr. Dither's to tell Dagward and then Mr. Dither's forgets. Well after the beating those fellows took I don't think they'll forget again. Aren't those people funny. Now I know you'd like to see what's happening in Walt Disney's story The Sword and the Rose. All right then let's turn over the page and go past the little king on page three and here on page four of the second section is The Sword and the Rose and his sister Mary had fallen in love with a captain of the guard which isn't what they like to have happened because Mary princesses. No the king and the queen try to make certain that any one of the royal line would marry someone of another royal line. Yes but I was Charles Brandon and I don't blame her because he's brave and handsome and daring. Yes but King Henry has noticed Princess Mary is pretty fond of Charles Brandon and the king had said he's going to break this up by having her marry the king of France. Well let's read now and find out. Here we go with The Sword and the Rose. It's Mary Mary England when knighthood was in flower music to be with Charles story hour. Charles Brandon who is now in love with the princess Mary is talking to his friend Cascaden. Oh sir Edwin what am I to do a mere guardsman be wished by the princess Mary and Cascaden replies hi Charles and you have cast a spell on me lady too and at the same time in the princess's chambers her lady in waiting Margaret and she are talking. Margaret tells the princess that she shouldn't fall in love with a commoner because King Henry has pledged her to marry the king of France. Last picture top row the princess answers that it's time that everybody understood that she'll wed whoever she chooses. At that moment there's a knock on the door. The lady Margaret opens the door and the chamberlain says last picture second row with license of your Highness the king commands you to the royal presence to meet the French ambassadors. Mary answers informed the king I'm not disposed to come. First picture bottom row the quaking chamberlain returns to the king. He bows and says fearfully your grace my leech the princess says she will not come. The king explodes what am I to be flouted under the winds or roof defied. And last picture he leaps to his feet. It's thunder if she'll not wait upon us we'll wait upon her. Oh you bet he is. He's going to talk to Mary himself isn't he. It looks that way. Oh I hope she's brave and doesn't let him scare us though because I wanted to marry Charles Brandon because he's brave and handsome and daring. Well we'll find out more about this next week. Now let's turn over the page and here on the last page of the comic weekly is flash Gordon. Yes and there to investigate there to see what life on the planet is like and they were trapped inside a cave. And there's just a little tiny spot at the top that they might escape through. And he's sure that the giant is waiting to capture them. I wonder what will happen today. Let's read now and find out here we go with flash Gordon. Let's have music for heroic flag. As they crouch on the top of the boulder a foot away from the narrow opening flash who has glimpsed the giant says whatever it is it's hiding there waiting to grab us as we crawl out of here one by one. Midas says well it's not going to get me and he fires his rocket this is gone flash says your shots didn't seem to bother it much and then the pilot shots hey I smell something burning flash looks around and sees the cave is beginning to fill the smoke last picture top row he exclaims trying to smoke us out we've got to act fast listen cover me I'll make a run for it if I get outside perhaps I can stop it so holding his rocket rifle in his hands he makes a run for the opening here goes he crawls out of the open but is suddenly knocked over by the giant hand hey he falls head first into a huge basket the smoke drives Midas and the pilot out of the cave I can't stand the smoke I'm getting out too the giant hand scoops first Midas and then the pilot into the basket and last picture the three of them see Dale come tumbling down yeah here comes Dale well that makes the whole parcel of us caught like fish in a basket yes they're all captured now next week we'll find that out now that's all the time I have but before I go here's that nice fellow with some more interesting information honey and all your boys and girls I've got to go now okay that's a date and a date with all your boys and girls be sure to meet me with our little friend miss honey next week when I read pop the comic weekly for I'm the comic weekly man the jolly comic weekly man I'll be back to read the funnies to you happy boys and honey don't forget boys and girls see you all next week your friend the comic weekly man the jolly comic weekly man