 Welcome back to my channel today's video is going to be I don't know. It's not necessarily sad. It's just you know, one of those classic Alex, let's talk about a certain topic and just kind of ramble to the camera have a good Therapy session with my audience that seems to enjoy these videos before we get started Make sure you subscribe because I would love to have you as a subscriber and also follow me on Instagram because I try really hard on my Instagram and I just like growing my platforms On both sites so this video is a little bit different and it was actually inspired by a post I saw on Instagram. I honestly don't really know where to start with this video But I think I will just say if 8th grade Alex or 9th grade Alex or 10th grade Alex would see myself where I am now It's definitely not where I thought I would be in my life. I know that sounds like kind of sad But also there's this like silver lining and happiness to it because like I'm doing something that I've always wanted to do It's this weird feeling and like I feel a little emotional about it Maybe it's just because it's about that time of the month, but Yeah, like if you asked like 9th or 10th grade Alex, like where would you be when you're at 24 years old in life? It would definitely be something like oh, I'm probably gonna be in medical school, you know already graduated Probably find the love of my life, you know, maybe in my first year of med school or graduate school or you know This that are the other I would be you know living in an apartment with him or you know on my own or something and Not with my parents Making YouTube videos probably not that If we're if we're being honest here like no, I don't think I would ever imagine This to be my life, you know what I'm saying? I thought I would probably have like a bachelor's degree if not in biomedical sciences probably in the medical field maybe pre-pharmacy or I don't know medical lab tech or something like that and Not something in in video making definitely not definitely not motion graphics Considering I am not the most creative person or I'm a creative person. I'm just not an artsy person anyway So I think that's a really good way to start this video I did not imagine myself where I am right now, which is looking back It's a little sad, but like where I am right now is just like Incredible like I didn't think I could do this and I didn't think that I would make a penny on my YouTube channel I've been doing this for probably like what five six years now So it's been a while and it's taken me like so long to get noticed by people and you know Then we have you know people blowing up overnight. It's just really difficult. It's hard, you know But I've always been that person to like always set goals and like want to achieve them So like even though I didn't go to medical school or didn't finish my a finish a bachelor's degree like I proved to myself that I could do that like with hard work and determination because of the grades that I made when I was at that university and the grades that I went when I went to the college I transferred to and Graduated with a digital media degree So I proved to myself that I could do that but YouTube. Oh my gosh YouTube is a challenge man It is so hard like I am not gonna lie Coming up with ideas trying to figure out like what does my audience want and there's only so many Adoption videos I can feel like I can do to be honest There will be one coming in the near future I would assume but just looking at where I am now is just amazing and I if you asked me when I first started YouTube If like I could do the things I've done. No, I would say like oh man I don't know. Yeah, so I guess I just want to read this post to you guys because Life with Justine and I met her a couple years ago I think um made this post and I will post it on the side here And I'll leave it down below if you want to check out her stuff because she's the one that really inspired me to make This video so she says something I don't talk about publicly is my fear of failure I feel like I was behind in life because everyone around me is having a kid Engaged married or just became a new house owner or just became new house owners I envied it, but then I realized that I need to take a step back and focus on the path that God put me on I'm not meant to be having kids and getting married now, and that's okay I also have to realize that there are so many people my age who are in the same position I am actually thankful that I didn't go down the path that I felt like I had to go down in order to be successful Even though my life isn't the way I expected it to be I'm happy and hopeful for my future or happy and hopeful of my future So I agree with this one hundred percent She put it in such clean words that that's exactly how I feel and I wanted to make this video to say that there's so many people Out there including myself that feel the exact same way. Yeah, I cannot wait to have kids I can't wait to get married like I can't wait to do all of that stuff But I guess it's just not the path that I'm meant to be on right now And that's fine And I know everything happens for a reason because I always say I Was left on the side of a road in China ended up coming to the United States of America With two gay moms. I mean come on like I know that there's a higher power I know that there's a God somewhere because of just like where I've landed so I mean I know that I am on the right path and That I just need to just go where I need to go also I made some notes because I didn't want this video to be a complete ramble So yeah, I I still live with my parents. It's cool. It's chill Even though they love having the news on like 24 seven. It's a little challenging I guess my reasoning for this would be the fact that I don't really want roommates. Yeah, I just wrote that down I don't want roommates um if I'm gonna be with a roommate or like live with someone I want it to be my like significant other like boyfriend fiance whatever I don't want it to just be some random person Also, I wanted to add most of my friends have a significant other that they're living with or whatever or are married I don't have a lot of friends that are like single if that makes sense. So I'm not moving in with some rando I'm sorry not gonna happen I rather live with my parents because we are kind of friends now now that I'm an adult and we just like enjoy each other's company even though we drive each other insane sometimes I also wanted to add I don't want to rent anywhere either I would rather like buy a place if I was living with like my boyfriend or something I wouldn't mind renting but overall if it's just me I don't want to rent Another thing I wrote down that there is no right or wrong way to live life And it is not a race because I always thought and this is kind of touching back on what I just said I always thought that there there was like this, you know Certain age is that you're supposed to do things, you know, and I just realized that that's not the case like if I wanted to change my career tomorrow like I totally could and That would be fine and I could still do YouTube like there's so many things You I could go back to school if I wanted to even though I'm like definitely afraid of school and I hate school so much That's another video for another time But honestly, I do not like school at all probably like some PTSD there But I'm definitely probably not going to go back to like a traditional school If I ever were to further my education in some sort and Like the having kids thing luckily not a lot of my friends are having kids right now Which is good because like I don't know it'd just be even more weird But I have thought of the IVF route if I have not found My person or whatever because as you guys know, I definitely want to have a child biologically And I want to be at a healthy stage in my life to do that Like I don't want any like risks or complications So I have like thought of that and I'm not against that whatsoever Like I'm not against a lot of things just because I never had a normal life I mean I had a normal life But like it was a little it was you know that tiktok where they're like had a bit of spice That's totally our life So there's definitely nothing wrong with that in my mind if you disagree that is fine Um, there's a lot of people that disagree with me about the dad challenge podcast But I think their comments are in the health review section But I just wanted to kind of touch on this because I want you guys to know you're not alone and with like valentine's day Just past and everything it's it's really difficult sometimes But looking at my life now and just knowing I made as much money as someone with a full-time Job did doing what I absolutely love to do this past year is just Incredible doing a part-time job at a tv station and doing this That is like mind-blowing if someone asked me if I would ever like get to that No, because I thought I would never get to even experience that whether I get to experience that next year or not I just think that that's incredible that I have also enough money where if I wanted to put a down payment on a house Like I could probably not the most um intelligent financial decision to make which that's why I'm not going to do that But just knowing I had that opportunity to do that right now in my life Is just incredible and doing something that I mean not a lot of adults my age can say that they Can do exactly what they want to do and I'm so grateful for my parents being able to Help me do this because I don't know like it's just it's just incredible And I'm very very thankful and blessed and it's because of you guys that I I get to do this And it's because of you watching the ads because you guys commenting on my videos and just like everything And I and I love that you love my parents. Um, that's amazing So I guess I'm just like rambling now But I just wanted to make this video because you are not alone You are Going to take a great path in life no matter what it is as long as you're not hurting yourself or those around you You're doing okay. Keep your head up. Um, there's always hope that you can that is going to come There's always the future to look towards and that's why I think I always look towards the future because It's just I don't know it it keeps you moving, you know, but I guess that's valid for this video I hope you guys enjoyed it. Um, don't forget to subscribe and I'll see you guys in my next video