 Daniel underscore of hair has said my cousin has been disregarding coronavirus safety measures and has been visiting friends And not using hand sanitizer wearing a face mask or keep or keeping even a meter away from anyone Oh, I know what I'm gonna do. I know what I'm gonna do. Hey Are you Malcolm? So I'm going to pretend to work for the government and I'm going to say that that that someone with the coronavirus That someone with the coronavirus app has tested positive to coronavirus and he You have been close proximity the precinct five days ago Aaron. It's the precinct What's that word mean? All right here we go. I'm calling him shut your fuck Hey, Calamity, it's just a Malcolm here. I'm just calling on behalf of the Australian government Have you got five minutes to talk mate bit of a weird one? No worries when you're finishing mate love to have a quick just a very quick chat with you just regards to the coronavirus app you've been exposed to someone Five p.m. No worries mate. I'll give you a call in about five minutes Eastern standard times or are you on the great rank great dividing range time? No worries, so if I give you a call back in about five minutes, is that 530 on the eastern standards time or are you at the back? Well, I was just letting you know that you've been exposed to someone who's just tested positive for a coronavirus in the last five days and You're gonna need to go and get tested immediately Oh Yeah, so I'm not sure if you're aware but people are downloading the coronavirus app that the government has issued out and so we've just had a few cases confirmed today and One of them actually had the coronavirus app downloaded and it appears that you were in very close proximity with them in the last ones of five days and Yeah, well it's exactly right. So Yeah, it's it's picked it up and you're gonna have to go in and get tested as soon as possible and The the person that you have come into contact with is is quite sick. So it's sort of it's Pretty late pretty late in the progression for them But yeah, what we just sort of need everyone to sort of stop what they're doing and head straight in Now have you been into close in close contact with anyone at your work today? Yeah, fuck it. Yeah, look you're gonna have to they're all gonna have to Well as soon as as soon as you go into the doctors They're gonna know the protocol to follow But you're just gonna have to jot down all their names and numbers and bring them in with you And they'll have to take some take some blood tests Do some nasal swabs and they'll also have to do an anal cavity swab just to make sure that you don't have any of the Coronavirus in you. How are you? How are you feeling in any symptoms? Any sort of cold or flu-like symptoms any fevers? Um Well, I was working in the rain last week. So I felt like I was kind of fighting off a cold. Yeah That's been all good. I've got a little bit of a sore throat right now But I just drank some refrigerator water and So you've had you so you you're saying that you actually have a sore throat right now That's actually the first symptom. Yeah Yeah, have you had Normal because I just drank refrigerator water and that happens often when I do yeah, right Have you had any sexual intercourse with anyone over the last five days? Very very possibly mate look where we're just sort of getting all the data just gets sent into us You who knows you could have just driven past someone, you know what I mean Like you might have even like been in actual close proximity with it. Do you know what I mean? Like you might have actually been standing right next to them, but the app, you know, we're just sort of trying Yeah, yeah Yeah, so it doesn't quite tell us that you could have just driven past someone But if you've got a sore throat and it's coming up You've been flagged on the app as being close to someone in the last five days you need to get in there immediately because there's a 85 to 90% chance that you've actually got coronavirus and you need to tell all of your family and friends to stay the fuck away from you Because you could all be fucked from this. I'm talking long-term lung damage and maybe even tumors Long damage and tumors mate all the new research is saying huge testicle tumors 5g Overly professional mate, mate, mate, you don't you don't you don't know what you're doing with man fucking get in there, man Fucking get in there and get it all checked before the fucking button hits the roof Mate app that app is fucked man that app is fucked a leader come that's good No, you're fucking resources and information, but you need to know something. All right You you aren't this this isn't real you living in an alternate reality. This is a simulation and we are the owners And we're coming to collect. Sorry. Sorry. You need to apologize to me. Otherwise. I won't take this any further Snapping at me the jaws of death No, you're actually on a prank call for on the Mariam Fully actual podcast one of your mates sent your number in He needed to know I could we will lose in him Yeah, no, yeah, I just I just wanted to try and make it a bit more exciting just to see what you'd say was being frantic Good your mate Daniel I'm like fully hard right now. Thank you for being a good sport We love you dude be strong and stay stay swim Yeah, yeah, dude. Oh, that was we just fully winged that then I thought you were gonna hang up I thought you're gonna hang up early on Yeah, work my ass. Oh, that was good dude. Thank you for that. Oh My god be strong and stay wise and never drink the fruit of the labors until you reach the end