 I mean, that relates to what Keith was saying earlier, it's like, I want the experience, I don't, you know, it can say all these things in here, but until I have the experience, and Jesus is saying right, good and disaster form is difficult to credit in advance. I don't understand what he's saying about that. Well, if everything that's good comes from God, and you've been told that everything that's good comes from God, and you are experiencing confusion, frustration, lack of peace in any form, then it seems like, well, that's nice, those are nice words, oh, they sound sentimentally nice and correct, all things good come from God, but it's as if, that's not my experience of it, it's as if it's like a game, or it's kind of just words, and it doesn't make any sense. In other words, I always use the example of, you know, if God gave answer to the separation, you know, where would He have placed it? Would He have placed it in the future, or would He have placed it in the present? And wouldn't He be cruel if He placed it in the future instead of the present? Because there would be a gap to accepting it, you know, I mean, what if He has laid it, so to speak, right under one's nose? What if it's right there, then why would it be in the future? Why would there be any chasing for it, or whatever? And what is blocking my awareness of it? If it's right under my nose, then what is it that's blocking my awareness of it being right under my nose? The kingdom of God is at hand, I don't see it, I keep tripping over it, but I don't see it. So what is this? And what is it? Here we go, here we go, hang in there, hang in there. Why should the good appear in evil's form? You know, God's given you the present answer, the Holy Spirit is right there, right here, right now, why should the good appear in the evil's form? How can who I am be yet to come? And is it not deception if it does? Its cause is here if it appears at all. When it says its cause is here, it's talking about the good. The cause of the good is here if it appears at all. Why are not its effects apparent then? Why in the future? And you seek to be content with sighing and with, quote, reasoning, you do not understand it now but will someday, and then its meaning will be clear. This is not reason for it is unjust and clearly hints at punishment until the time of liberation is at hand. Given a change of purpose for the good, there is no reason for an interval in which disaster strikes to be perceived as, quote, good someday but now in form of pain. This is a sacrifice of now which could not be the cost the Holy Spirit asked for what he gave without a cost at all. Look at the reasoning of that. Why should the good appear in evil's form? And is it not deception if it does? I mean, there is cause for joy right now and the thing about it is if I'm not experiencing the joy and the peace and the rest, then it can't be that God is withholding anything. It's not like the sun is not shining if I'm going like this and going, my, it's dark. I wish the sun would come out. You know, that's kind of an image of what the deceit-mind is doing, you know. Father, Father, help me as it holds this shield to the light. Take my fear away. You know, I mean, that's this, this shield, what's blocking it? But even if the sun, the sun of God is doing, please help me. Wouldn't the Father still shine? Shine, shine, shine. The shining is not stopping. That's all the Father can do is shine. You can't, will the mind be aware of it though if it just keeps on shining, shining, shining? But the Father won't pull that book away. No way, no way. It can't happen because that would prove that the sun was helpless and needed to be rescued. It would prove that perfection needs some help to be perfection. God would not be Himself if, if He reached down into error and said, that is awful. That is real. Your shield is real. I will help you, I will help you out because Father knows His sun is perfect. And so that's why it has to be voluntary. I mean, that's why it's totally from within and looking at the shield. And coming to the point of saying, this isn't me, I don't need this. It has to be a thought. I mean, that even the future is in, that salvation is in the future. I mean, that thought has to be questioned. And that comes back to everything we talk about, linear time, cause and effect, ordering of thoughts, judgment. I mean, I use all these different things. It's not complicated. It's not like, okay, I'll get all this thing down on judgment and all this thing on ordering of thoughts. And then I'll do this stuff on special and holy relationships. And then I'll do this stuff over here on, take your pick of categories and everything. But you somehow, like in college, you've got to get all the different parts down. And then regurgitate them back. You're right. It's not about this book, like you're in college and studying 1200 pages. It's about an experience. And this, even seeming to read this book is just symbolic. There's a mind's desire for that experience. Yeah. There is nothing special about moving eyes over this blue book. Will the blue book help us get clear on how to take the shield down? The Holy Spirit will. And if the blue book is a symbol of the Holy Spirit's thinking in a form that you can understand in that sense, it could be helpful. It's just like you're turning to the light in your mind, and this is what seems to be going on in the screen. There's this person named Keith that's reading this book, that's coming to these sessions, that's doing these things. That's all a bunch of images out on the screen. That's the way it seems to be happening. Really, it's just your intention, your burning desire to turn around to that light. That's not caused by this thing. This was no magical thing when the Course seemed to drop into your lap and everything. That wasn't anything magical. That's just still an effect. Just like this is an effect, and this is an effect, and everything in the world is an effect. There's nothing special about a Course. There's nothing special about dialogues. I think it's better than other forms and techniques. Let's look at these plastic paragraphs here. Yet this illusion has a cause which, though untrue, must be already in your mind. And this illusion is but one effect that it engenders, and one form in which its outcome is perceived. This interval in time when retribution is perceived to be the form in which the, quote, good appears is but one aspect of the little space that lies between you, unforgiven still. Be not content with future happiness. It has no meaning and is not your just reward. For you have cause for freedom now. What profits freedom in a prisoner's form? Why should deliverance be disguised as death? Delay is senseless, and the reasoning, in quotes, that would maintain effects of present cause must be delayed until a future time, is merely a denial of the fact that consequence and cause must come as one. So there it is stated again that cause and effect are together, but any kind of reasoning that says that salvation is in the future or it's coming, I will achieve enlightenment in the future and on and on all those thoughts are just merely a denial of the fact that consequence and cause must come as one. Enlightenment must be simultaneous. It must be instantaneous. That's what it means to recognize something that is already there. That's the freedom now. It's not like enlightenment is something new that somehow if you read the course enough or you do this amount of good deeds or you do something perceptually that you'll come to when you fill the cup up or whatever. The cup is full. The cup is overflowing this very instant and the only choice is will I accept that? Will I recognize that? If there still seems to be some vagueness, some obscurity, some questions, like gosh it sounds so simple but it doesn't seem to be the fact of it, then there's something to question. I still must believe in personhood. I still must believe in preferences. I still must believe in linear time. I still must believe that there are real things that happened in the past and there are real things that are going to happen in the future. If I believe any of that, then I'm just denying the awareness that's available to me right now. I'm denying enlightenment. And when those objections come up in your mind, like what about my debts or what about Julie and those kids? Great, salvation is immediate but trust would settle every problem now. If you line up with Holy Spirit and just say, this takes everything that I've ever believed and it just seems like it turns it upside down, it just flies in the face of everything I've ever believed and you have a contentedness and you listen to the Holy Spirit, He will dictate to you. It's not like you have to deal with all these problems. How am I going to deal with Julie? How am I going to deal with the debts? How am I going to deal with all these things? So then I can be open to you Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is available right now and He will dictate. He will give it to you what you're to say and do so to speak. That's comforting. I thought what could you not accept if you but knew that everything that happens past, present, to come is gently planned by one whose only purpose is your good. Once you accept His plan as the one function you would fulfill, there will be nothing else the Holy Spirit will not arrange for you without your effort. He will go before you making straight your way and leaving in your path no stones to trip on, no obstacles to bar your way. Nothing you need will be denied you. Not one seeming difficulty but will melt away before you reach it. You need to take thought for nothing except the only purpose that you would fulfill. Chapter 20, Section 4, Entering the Ark. Paragraph number 8 at the end of that section. You can't have it spelled out any clearer than that. To me that's cause for rejoicing right now. Not rejoicing in the future. Be not content with future happiness. So it seems like a really helpful question to ask myself is what is it I want? If what I want is what I get, then I want to be very clear and very focused about what I want. And in that I can just trust since the mind gets exactly what it wants that whatever themes to need to happen in form to have that come about will absolutely happen. How could it not? I understand that but that's again making it sound like we just have to go through this time interval. Even if it's perfectly planned in time that's what I'm questioning. It's the whole idea that we have to do this in time. In other words, why can't it happen today right now? I feel ready. So what I'm always left with is I must not be ready. There must be something left unquestioned. There must be something else I want more than that. If I'm getting anything else but that there must be something else I want more than that. And that's what I'm getting. As we go deeper and we continue these sessions you'll just notice that a lot of the thinking the words will come out of the mouth and you'll notice where the thinking is coming from. You've already sensed that sense of monitoring.