 David shows up on the battle not to fight as a soldier David shows up as an errand boy for his dad To bring money to bring a food. I'm sorry some cheese and some some other food to his brothers and to the general so David Has no obligation To fight the Goliath Goliath Opposes no direct threat to David Goliath is not David's problem It's the problem to his brothers because they're the soldiers It's Saul's problem not David's and I want you to see this David comes on the battlefield and Goliath over there Who is the problem of David's brothers and Saul? But David gets involved to help his brothers overcome their battle The whole story of David killing Goliath is actually a story of a man coming in someone's battle and Helping someone else win a battle that wasn't their own. I Genuinely believe when you arrive on the battlefield of marriage. I know marriage is beautiful My marriage is also a battlefield for some people. It's a battlefield because they fight each other But battlefield in meaning that the other person that you are marrying the other person that you have married many times We'll have their giants that they're fighting We'll have their issues that they are trying to resolve in their life And you're coming alongside last David help him to beat that Goliath instead of beating them in Marriage and I want to share with you this morning this afternoon and Practically, how do we go about helping someone else in our family? When a spiritual battle without crippling them or diminishing or destroying them? Because a lot of times what happens is we don't beat the Goliath. We beat each other Goliath triumph and yes We can get divorced and we can restart that But from many cases it never fixes the real issue That our case I'm not gonna go into that's not a message today on divorce and remarriage and all of this stuff But for a lot of people the problem continues to next statistic even says that the second marriages the divorce rate is 75% the third marriages is 80% the further you go that the divorce rate goes on why because many people are leaving Battlefields without Goliath's head. They're leaving with their spouse's head It's their spouse that got crushed nothing enemy and we can restart and we can start clean move to a new city get a get a new Person, but if it's a same problem It's you find yourself in the same situation and we don't want that I always tell people if there is a light bulb that went out in your house. You don't replace the house. You replace the light bulb Are you with me? I want you to write this down the first point is remember your lions before you attempt to help someone with their giants Before David could help his brothers with their giants David had to be aware of the fact that he had had alliance in his own past that he by the grace of God has dealt with Before you can help someone with their issues make sure that your own issues are being addressed and being faced one of the reasons we love to ignore our issues is We try to shift the blame for how we are reacting how we are acting on someone else And because our spouse is nearest to us we blame it on them and it goes like this The reason why I'm angry is because my spouse is crazy The reason why I am impatient or the reason why I do this is because they do that if they stop doing that My problem will be resolved So the problem is never you it's always them if they clean up their mess If they get rid of their demons and their issues, you won't have nothing. Actually, you don't even have any problems It's their problems. They're creating problem for you Amen Hallelujah, so I want you to come with me. Where's the water? so This is just this is you This is you hold hold it together close to you. It's called your issues Now the interesting part with your issues is that they're They're there You're not bothered by them and when you're younger and somebody comes and bumps in and you see the water is about to splash You distance yourself from those people if it's your brother and your sister you're like, I won't talk to you no more Why because you're provoking something you make me act crazy and so I won't talk to you If it's friends you just block them disconnect with them, but then you get married and the person next to you Keeps doing this five minutes. I'm gonna get ready in five minutes 20 minutes You always say five minutes. Why is it taking you 30 minutes all the time? You're lying spirit I rebuke the lying spirit in you in Jesus name Now the crazy part is this when you got water all around you guess guess whose fault it is of course the person who bombed you But remember this I never put the water in the cup I only expose the fact he has had water in his cup If he would have no water Look at this Nothing comes out Your spouse provokes the issues you got in you that God wants you to deal with I Remember I had that with my with my brother will mention which brother there's only two It's not hard to guess by the way And so and then one particular brother when I was not married and he once I'm drew me crazy So crazy we had to translate for my parents and he didn't want to translate He just acted like he didn't speak English and so I had to step in and Translated for my parents and I was like man. Why couldn't you do it man? You never do anything? And I just got so mad. I remember I go to the restroom I sit in the restaurant now and I'm just like my blood is just boiling inside and I hear there's still small whisper the Holy Spirit says Vlad You're such an angry person. I said no my brother is just insensitive disrespectful rebellious child He never respects mom and dad And I see here the Holy Spirit say you're such an angry person And I said if it wouldn't be for my brother, there would be no ounce of anger every coming out of me He says that has it ever occurred to you that maybe I use your brother to reveal to you that I see the anger in you Every day you don't see it Therefore you don't deal it and I want to show it to you But you can't even receive what I'm showing you because you're blaming it on somebody who bumped into you How could you see any other way if I wouldn't let him bump into you? You can't fix someone Until you acknowledge the fact that the water they came out of the cup is not their fault Now they have a fault they should be careful not to keep bumping, but you should also empty your cup You should also deal with the issues that are inside of you. Come on somebody. Are you with me? I? Want you to see what Jesus Christ said he said to people who want to go fix everybody I want you to see what he says in Matthew chapter 7 is he says that before you go about he says Why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye and do not consider plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother? Let me remove the speck out of your eye and look there's a plank in your own eye Hippocrates first remove the plank out of your own eye And then you will see clearly how to remove the speck out of your brother's eye Jesus is saying in fact is if you keep blaming the other brother or your wife for the fact that the water came out Jesus you know what honestly, why don't you first clean up the cup make it empty and then if your brother sister wife Husband bumps into you. He says we can deal with the bump because we don't have the water being splashed many of us We blame our reaction on the action of someone else in reality Your reaction is a result of your character not whoever bumped into you in In order to help someone with their spiritual problem We have to first be watchful that we are taking care and we are owning up to the issues that are Surfacing in their heart because of their problem Are you with me? You know, I did not know how impatient I was and how Controllable I was until my wife did not want to pray as I prayed She's supposed to be like me. She's supposed to pray like me and I was trying to I've shared with you I was trying to pull that flower instead of water that flower and she wasn't growing she was Dying because of that and I thought that it was just a spiritual issue. It was a spiritual issue and I wasn't helping Are you with me? Thank you Eric so much. It will dry up. Don't worry Appreciate your help When people came to stone the woman with an issue of blood, I had a person who volunteered They wanted me to use them as a Goliath Do you want ice-cream? Woman was caught in the act of adultery, which is interesting too because in order to have an adultery you have to have a man The men never made it to the stoning I Think the man was one of the Pharisees Reported the woman and he himself picked up the stone Besides the point people gather together with stones and they decided to throw Stones on this woman to help her of course, you know to get her out of the society and everything and Jesus came alongside I want to show you something Every time you want to help someone with their problem Who you're married to? Your opinion Your advice your insight Could come out as this cold heart and actually painful Asked jopes friends. They didn't want to hurt jope when they shared their insight on what jopes problem was Did you think they came around they just want to like hurt jope? No, they wanted to help jope But somehow you know jope was hurt by their advices. Why because any time you give this Before you get this Even if what you're saying is correct. It will hurt people Because it will be projected in the tone of your voice in the tone of your attitude Your words might be correct, but they're cold Their heart and that's what Jesus said. Hey guys. Um, first of all, you're aiming at the wrong person This belongs in Goliath's head. You're about to throw at the woman's head wrong head Before you start throwing stones, why don't you pick up a mirror and start remembering where you came from? Remember that when you sinned God didn't throw a stone from heaven but had mercy on you Before you go and fixing someone else and you know how they should get fixed and how they should change Why don't you pick a mirror and just look at the fact that One is magnifying glass, okay, why don't you Make sure you pick up the right mirror, but why don't you look at the fact that and remember and how God delivered you from drugs How God delivered you from from the depression how God delivered you from that spirit of tradition how you wrestled How you struggled? How other people showed you mercy or how people didn't show you mercy and how it really hurt and When you looked in a mirror Then you look at your spouse you look at your family member who's currently struggle. It's crazy how this hard True advice becomes graced with grace Mercy and patience and you no longer condone their issue, but you come around with a spirit of gentleness a spirit of grace Spirit of patience Spirit of long suffering spirit of love and kindness you come around and you actually end up helping them instead of hurting them Are you with me? For those of you who are carrying a lot of stones and you became a crazy amazing stone hitters I Asked you today that you stop throwing stones and you pick up a mirror And you take a good look at what God has done in your past because it will surface mercy in you Gracing you know one of the reasons why David was not judgmental and he didn't come trashing his brothers Trashing Saul is because David remembered if it wouldn't be for the grace of God He would have been a lion's lunch If it wouldn't be for the grace of God, he would have been bearer's lunch It's only the God who helped him to overcome the bear and the lion. It wasn't David's slickness It's not David's own strength and power. And so he's looking at the Goliath. He says guys. I know you're struggling I know what it's like I've been there and I'm going to help you and that help actually proved to be helpful to his brothers They were not eventually offended they rallied around him because a man who fought his lions becomes anointed to help others with their giants Amen