 I hope that I won't be stealing anything from Frank and Pfefer when I say that 2016 was the year of the cyber. Today, they will do it. They will let cyber again from all barrels. And in that sense, welcome to our two cyber ninjas, Frank and Pfefer, and a warm welcome, please. And welcome to the translation, your translators are Zebalis, Pink Dispatcher and Franz Tee and Anwin are waiting in the wings to take over later. Hashtag the feedback C3T or Twitter crown C3Lingo or email to hello at C3Lingo.org. Tell us, and are you all there? Shall we start? Oh, yeah. All right. If you say so. Get your free Windows 10 upgrade. Pfefer forced me. All right. The usual resolution check. Calls of louder, louder. It's too quiet. It's true. It wasn't that great compared to previous years. But it's never satisfactory the first time. They always have to redo it. Reality is overvalued, addition 2016. Now almost without simulation artifacts. And once again. Three times the charm as usual. See the balloons. Yeah. Lovely. Okay. Good. That's that's okay now. And I want one of each color on stage at the end. Okay. The year 2016 was well, not that great. It wasn't very easy to get slides together that I should say in advance. I didn't want to lead you to suicide or depression. We had that for you. The depression. So we'll start. So we looked for images that would really incorporate the year 2016. And this one is one of those. Surely you've seen that. I haven't. Me neither. So our American friends sent this one about this. They had it a bit tougher. Also, we can say finally the apocalypse is here. We have been waiting for years. So you can actually pinpoint this on several things. But I want to say straight in advance that one excuse is eliminated because we were prepared. Some terms of service were updated and actually contain a section on the zombie apocalypse point 47 C is 57 10. Sorry. So well hidden, but these terms of service are no longer valid when the zombie apocalypse because they were very precise. And Amazon are not the only ones that anticipated problems like this. The Pentagon plans the zombie apocalypse apparently. So they are very well prepared. They really have a training scenario that they devised for it. What kind of measures as an upcoming military strategist you should take when the zombie apocalypse or if it comes, we've illustrated it. And particularly notable about the German report was the category which I can't decipher from back here. So you see if a newspaper starts introducing an undead category, something is going to happen. But it's true. Do you need this category? Because we had this report as well, this new item in film. A drunk person announced the zombie apocalypse, but this text is worth it. So there was an emergency call first from a woman that saw a man with a pistol saying something will happen. Then they started moving and went into a cafe and wanted to keep the people safe from the zombie apocalypse. And they collect this man, tied him up and then he had the excuse of some kind of gang zombie challenge. So the police said the problem was that the shocked affected people were very hard to calm down. So you see that the collectives subconscious does have something with the zombie apocalypse. So this was a fairly worldwide phenomenon. For example, in Japan we have this. If this becomes common, we'll have a big problem. A pensioner just blew himself up. Or in China, the background to this, schools were closed for smog. And the school director said, well, we'll move the test outside. This is how it looked. Well, and in Europe to the apocalypse came closer. Didn't it? Great Britain. Germany is still facing it. It hasn't happened yet. Our new president will be sworn in. So let's not forget what this guy here, Roland Gornes, who was in a torture prison because of the person who is due to become president next year. In America, there was another apocalypse, which you may have noticed. But the apocalypse of this kind, the one man's problem is another man's opportunity. The current book by Frank Walter Steinmeier, still foreign minister and soon president. And on Black Friday Trump paraphernalia were 30% reduced. So 2016 in every sense was extraordinary. And I've tried to visualize this by a collection of headlines. Whatever you search for, some kind of headline saying it was extraordinary was there. And we saw out of your headlines, we thought particularly exceptional. France being on top because they have a state of emergency. Since 2016 and 2016 in January, they extended it until ISIS could be totally defeated. Well, this could take a bit longer, but we're sure. And an emergency like that is not only helpful in politics, but also with international associations such as the World Health Organization, securing funding by announcing a global emergency. And in February, very surprisingly, France extended the state of emergency, but only until the end of May. So I understand the national, of course, didn't like it that much criticizing it. And did you know what happened in May? Yes, France extended state of emergency. Well, and in July. And because it works so well, Edouard, of course, joined in. And export hits, that's what he called it these days. And the Americans, their laser pointers are being utilized. Also Americans extended their state of emergency for 9-11 while you're at it. It's working so well. He couldn't hold himself down and extended his state of emergency. Then in November, there was an exception to the exception because the World Health Organization declared their emergency over. Hang on, hang on. Don't be happy. Don't rejoice too early because then suddenly a little panic always helps. This is about bird flu. And did you know what happened in December? France extended their state of emergency. Well, yeah, so the way this looks on the streets could be observed in Brazil. What was it? The Olympics? Yeah, the Olympics summer games. And you could see people like this on the streets. Reality 2016. So security is important. We all know that and agree. A terrorist could use helicopters, for example. From afar, this is how it looked. And the nicest thing we thought were the media reports. Ooh, what's the original name? Donna Goodlove? Anglicized Gargoblaster. Gargoblaster, yes, that was a gargoblaster. It smells a bit more. It seems to be consistent rum mostly and maybe a bit of Marty as well. All right, but not much words. It's gurgling away very nicely. Sparkling. So we've been looking for an image for a long time that kind of summarizes the media. And this is what we came up with. And I think that's all that has to be said. And then you ask yourself, well, the media perspective on events, they have a certain, well, images have a certain power, don't they? So this one, for example, you think, ah, somehow I know the other side of that movie. What did they do to this poor lion? And then the mighty internet finds, well, that lion was actually just having a tomography, a CT scan. And someone made the other image out of that. Details, details. But all in all, the future in 2016 looked more like this. And then we asked ourselves, why actually? What is actually the reason that everything went a bit pear shaped? And we went searching a bit and found a man that at least had a lot of fun. Reality, what are you talking about? This is, sorry, what's the name? So in Russia. So his responsibility in Russia is keeping public order. And he did things like founding a youth organization that in German press was called the Putin Youth. In Russia, it's called the Nazi hours. So nice festivities like this, or at the right there, sports activities under the watchful eye of the important representatives of the people. And then they had this kind of opposition party that they founded and financed. And with Kremlin money. And that was because the main party has kind of survived itself and it ran its course. So the interesting thing is that these things then leak out that someone's done this. So these people do something, found a party, financed Nazi skinheads or the contra-organization for the Nazi skinheads or a human rights organization or something. And then suddenly something leaks out. Oh yeah, the money came from us. So the sense in this is that reality is being destroyed. You rob people of any orientations because anything they have as positions that you can hold on to. Heroes, organizations, positions and such is completely virtualized. We have to know that this man comes from Avongale Theater. So this is someone who comes from theater and he has written a book as well which appeared in German close to zero is the translation of the German title and he always disputed that this has happened but when the book was turned into a theater play he actually went there and said to the director well you have to edit a few things it's not completely correct. So this should be our mascot for this evening about the reality section. So previously the reality was still simple. You simply were lying. You just created your own reality there are weapons of mass destruction we have to invade. So shake the UN bird or something but then someone comes around the corner and destroys the nice story with facts. So sadly no weapons of mass destruction in Iran even the CIA have to admit it. Silly right? That's not what you want. That's not how it works. So very stern stare. So new now completely destroy reality and he has a very very learned scholar here in Donald Trump. We were searching. We didn't have to search long. The nice statements by Trump he says things like he says you are what you think you are you can be Swedish constructivist thinking fighting fighter helicopters whatever you want these days and you can say things like I'm not really provocative I don't want to be I do love provoking people but yes I do so experts a very important thing to have so just employ many experts and listen to them experts are important and nice but I don't need any. So we'll have to speed things up a bit is for and against abortion foreign against gay marriage gay marriage thank you Democrats and Republicans alike and wants to become president or does not want to become president so kind of quantum state of reality and the thing about Swedish is that his family said they were from Sweden for a long time and then there was this other person with red hair wasn't there? Do you know what she's called in English? Pipilong stocking, literal translation I think pretty sure I'm really sorry if we destroy your childhood memories now but reality is over anyway another nice thing was this thing here remember last year David Cameron who said something about a pay kind of photo someone took a long time to remember in the audience still coming up hold on so when the Panama Papers were leaked he had a few well quantum reality jumps and those were Monday private matter Tuesday so I see this progressive shift from reality of realities Mark we have included this it was the BBC state television as it were that had this so very very happy teacher so this now is a new normality get used to it Google has got used to it so a bad day for Europe is translated as a good day for Europe in German and there's a literary role model isn't there? Does anyone remember? Exactly the older people among you will know this from there the younger ones will know that originally it was stolen from Nietzsche that's like a secret slogan of the Sussinen order who said nothing is true and everything is allowed and we see that everyone's playing by that role now there's a new very common word for that postfactual post truth it is usually in English okay so the young and naive altars which are a team of journalists have given us leaked this material to us in 2003 you supported Iraq war that created ISIS is this your politically largest error I support, never support a war I did not support the Iraq war the target was defined and the target was the war against terror the war is led by certain allies which have been brought together in the anti-ISIS coalition and the government supports this war government age, post-truth of course people say that we live in post-truth times post-factual, post-factual this is very important many examples for example from the Arab world there are weapons that's why we don't deliver any weapons to them says Sigmar Gabriel economic minister and vice chancellor we've talked so much about our supposed collaboration of Rammstein at what you call the drone wall do not believe in rumors and US government being informed that US Rammstein base had some further tasks planning, supervising and evaluating air operations it's not about how drones are being used we find that correct and good and that's exactly how we perceive this the basic right to asylum does not have an upper limit but 800,000 on the long term is too much spying on the monk friends that is just not on isn't it time to invite to get Edward Snowden to Germany I don't know what the one should have in common with the other very normal, most countries have this conspiracy theories, post-factual because no one wants to change products being offered for cryptography this is a topic from nerds, for nerds there was never a deal with Syria are we not giving a deal with Turkey either no, no deal with Turkey, what then? this is propaganda the chancellor is not lying the government is in favor of a nuclear free world so we all have to take this test and I find it wonderful to be to be surveilled by the media and by thinking for themselves and find out the truth post-truth, young and naive thank you, thank you, thank you so, thank you very much for the videos and this has been paid for by donations they like to receive you on donations as we have seen sorry gentlemen, I'm really sorry that is still Hamburg sorry, sorry, I'm still in Hamburg sorry so, popcorn or what is that? sorry guys, sorry exactly at the right time, sorry sorry so, how we handle all this post-truth here is a little hard for the government so what other possibilities are there which steps can we take to get along so this hard reality to make it easier to digest for the people so we have, look, in which country this works well so we came to Canada in Canada there's a prime minister maybe you know him, it's Justin Trudeau Justin Trudeau is, he looks very nice and very handsome and he's a nice guy and so he has it easy and we don't know if you find the pattern if you see a pattern here we'll show you some pictures and there's the boss so the queen and he finds, it's the prime minister of Bangladesh also likes him and our chancellor likes him and if you really have this kind of charisma then you can really do a lot of things Canada has turned into a surveillance state with everything you need for it with the secret services of the leash and everything that goes with it when, if you have a prime minister who likes pandas then you can do all that so free trade agreement oh, we talk about Sita and you will see America now even Sigmar Gabriel he looks nice when he's side by side with Trudeau the German minister for economy, for economic affairs so all the criticism of Sita or... so Canada has this problem with the oil slicks they have oil which is a bit hard to get out of the ground they need very long pipelines and if they burst there's an environmental problem and it's not very nice so it would have been too nice if someone could do something about it there were some hopes put on Trudeau and there were protests against those policies and politics but he just approved the pipeline and so against the... he just did some tricks then and we looked for an extreme example for these politics are there people who also try to do this so that's him as well so pay attention to the tattoo there were imitators they were not quite as successful in the United States they tried and there's one question in politics if everybody lies how can you find out things if you look at politicians in their natural habitat how can you find out what kind of people they are the traditional methods are listening to them that's just only partially helpful more devices won't help there are several ways to try that there were clairvoyance so they tried to see into the future and there were Kremlin astrology it was really looking at some indicators on pictures from Russia about whom more articles were written and on diplomatic receptions and which direction the Kremlin was moving and in the 90s in Wall Street there was a new comeback of that and with Alan Greenspan that is the chief monetary chief of the US and one tried to find out by the thickness of his briefcase if the interest rates would go up or down and it was just a joke the Greenspan briefcase indicator but others then also talked about that and it was established very quickly something like that should be there today it's very unscientific but we would try to find an indicator that really works and I think we found one we put a lot of images through machine learning algorithms in the cloud of course to find an indicator and our machine learning systems actually found something and that is the umbrella so this is really like a love story for teenagers and we show other pictures see if you can find the difference so this is this in the beginning everyone has his own umbrella and then they have one umbrella for two alright just a moment here's another one but umbrellas are indicators for something else not only cooperation between countries but also looking at politicians evaluating politicians can you really solve hard problems that you can do that is it more egocentric or is he ready to help others is the marriage still working so you have to be careful don't come to rush conclusions so is it a good politician that is beyond personal nice and I saw if they can take a step back for other people's advantage and take the disadvantage for himself and this picture shows that quite well in contrast to the other pictures you can see on the right so even in the second row sometimes you can find something from umbrellas if someone has a career in front of them or not and this is what you can see here so will it be promoted or does he have to go to the Gulag who knows maybe tidy the railway stations in Siberia but maybe the umbrella has also historically been a good indicator maybe we should have paid attention to that earlier it's very nice very nice motif four images there umbrellas just one for 2016 we tried to positive sides 2016 was a year of the arts and we can see by the albion the philharmonic building in Hamburg which notoriously took a long time to finish and the same question we have in other places and some people would bet on it and this guy here was a political commentator and people were betting on which tie he was wearing on a particular day and sometimes during one interview or one program he changed his tie six times some politicians also have other can do other things and as you see Cameron he was actually singing after the Brexit he just resigned as prime minister and then was singing that was a nice exit so 2016 this is the German comedian Böhmerman was very famous for insulting the Turkish prime minister Turkish president yes thank you and there were others CEO of a publishing company and said that he was agreeing with Böhmerman and then Erdogan also filed a lawsuit against this CEO who was maybe a more important person in the economy than a small comedian so more pieces of art as public art maybe it's not immediately clear whether or not this is art or maybe it's just rubbish and here's a nice example construction workers found something and they didn't know what it was it was a cylindrical and it was from resin with metal splinters this is not a picture of the actual object there are no pictures of that but there are pictures of objects like this so what was it somebody knows it's organized and it is used to fight against camp trails in the esoteric realm so it's a big conspiracy theory that airplanes just spray chemicals and not just exhaust gas so it's quite interesting to have people leave that in open places in public places in pieces of art cloaking devices this is always something that artists use artists in Brazil tried to rob a bank and had heard that if they glue aluminium foil to their bodies they will be invisible to surveillance cameras well that worked very well as you can see so art in public spaces other people also do that if they want to influence public opinion this nice picture and below that is initiative new social market this has been founded by a lobby organization by employers and their description is that they want to promote liberal reforms in the marketplace liberal reform sounds a lot better than destroying employment so this is one of the highlights art do you know what that is so the Austrian candidate for the new right this is obviously satire but they're offering the new right candidate a place at the art academy as Hitler was many years ago not offered so this is an honorary prize you're getting and obviously he won it all so it's not necessarily an artwork as such but it's maybe the creative potential of a situation liberated in a certain moment to express artistic intentions so we take one example in Scotland Donald Trump's golf course so the Scottish were saying well we'd like to have a cattle farm here in the way of his nice sea view and of course Trump tried to sue against that but he failed on all levels and so after all that he was on a tour in Scotland visiting and so this was their reception they had a little band to welcome him and there was another artist at the occasion to make the most of the occasion he got lots and lots of golf balls for Donald Trump and you have to zoom a little bit closer to see what was distributed all over the court with a tiny little swastika on it and so we again noticed that the Scots are really world class at insulting people so this was just number one I won't read it out but the placard is explains itself well it escalating quickly and we just highlighting the best parts for your delectation well maybe delectation so very creative expressions and insults to paid fuck trumpet is the highlight nicely underlined by the hair so sometimes obviously the artistic value or benefit of such an action can only be evaluated and esteemed after the fact so what we see now the Russian secret service which is also a kind of police academy and so they made a video of themselves cruising through this very through the Moscow city with these very inconspicuous cars and oh yeah that's so far away you can't recognize a thing so that's a trick of high definition has its drawbacks but another artist a work of art the troll trolling of the year and this happened in Oregon in the United States so we had an armed conflict with a sort of American version of Reichsbürger of right wing activists and so people told them that if they said when being questioned that they are idiots they it didn't really help but they declared themselves idiots in their statements and incompetent in the hope of being not being well that was the matching phase for this statement so not to be subjected to court rules etc that was the idea so have a look at the quote and maybe even read it a second time this is a letter to the editor to an Austrian newspaper this is about vaccines which are a conspiracy in the karma industry there are a lot of, well, bizarre typos in this playing with words it's very hard to explain but instead of caratative instead of sisyphus work there are lots of jokes in Latinized words so just look at it a second time and this kind of thing usually can't necessarily be improved through a comment but in this case correction, the pharma industry so there are lots of jokes and puns with misspellings of words, of terminologies and well we thought what you can always start is a meme of course to try and make a little series of jokes and so I prepared a presentation you have a very simple model you start in Soviet Russia then you have some kind of task so very simple structure but in the other word order so an easy example in Soviet Russia, president assassinate you so you invert the usual word order so let's practice in Soviet Russia, find a caption law break you in Soviet Russia space explore you so this is just a little practice but we noticed this year that the same kind of pattern is not of course limited to online memes, we have a few examples from real life so this is an informer from the German secret service so we just turn it the other way around what old news is capitalism but in Soviet 26 Islamist infiltrate you so there were claims of the protection for the constitution paying money to al-Qaeda fighters transactions some things in you had informants that were exposed and in 2016 the informants talk about the police the same it doesn't work that well there were child pornography service that were run by the police and not just one or two but several of them probably have seen this one nowadays the ads are blocked from you so when you visited built D with an ad blocker you couldn't visit the site it was quite a scandal or discussion in Germany there used to be interest paid to you but nowadays you pay it's the other way around American protect terrorists from you sometimes you turn stuff right and again be able to read them in 2016 you make videos to scare terrorists 2015 15 with warning against cheap in 2016 she now wants against bad quality of apple products China wants against bad quality of apple products sorry a small bonus slide this is no photoshop there is not a photoshop it's a real one what you don't recognize immediately is that they're all fake the apple store is not from Apple Samsung is not from Apple it's Apple products for years they noticed that people saw shops from them and then the CEO told the press they don't know shops from them so it's a fake in 3rd of 3rd of all tax in 2015 Apple pays tax well it's a bit far fetched isn't it that's something new where tax pays apple where every US so to the news from the economy so hardware used to be heavy and it gets lighter and lighter and smaller and smaller there are other trends that might be less conspicuous for example the one I look at in 2014 we bought hardware 2015 we noticed that hardware surveils us we noticed that hardware kills us so this you can see the same pattern in different examples for example in 2014 smart phones were great in 2015 smart phones called home in 2016 we had small explosions that didn't look that well did someone just try to get his phone out I did household items used to be very secure you buy them and connect them then the first people started to upload in the AOT then they checked it with the surveillance don't tell anything secret in front of the TV private from the TV that was last year this year they flew blew up at us doesn't look this is the pattern and we looked into it and someone else would have recognized that Samsung has a real strange path a strange path the washing machine Samsung also does military equipment we looked in the dark corner and saw this secret the DARPA works with something look at the safety sticker apparently this car is full of washing machines with telephones inside of them Samsung wasn't the only one with dangerous explosions at 170.000 stoves cameras used to be able to buy no problem, quite cheap then there were the first channels to pay attention who you buy them from he covered up his camera with some sticky tape this escalated in 2016 and the cameras suddenly turned into botnet hosts and destroyed the internet for us of course you can spend some time without it but in certain circles it's more difficult because it turns out that in Finland in some communes the public heating supply was connected to the internet and they really were shivering the sensors that controlled it, so surveillance cameras kill new slogan China, plastics, 2014, no problem it was broken, but never mind it was cheap as well in 2015 it turns out that you have to look very closely they surveil us that plastic things, what's the headline there, can you read it? you will hear more of this, but still in 2016 that wasn't... so confetti raining down heavily and someone up-sailing from the ceiling and running off stage if you're not seeing this the chunk has been ruined so what was that all about? ok, so the China plastics have taken a strange turn this year to begin with electric shocks well of course we won't go home without a proper explosion right? so that happened too and some people then took this personally to some extent and the evil board explodes although I have learned today you learn new things at congress of course that the actual problem was that the mechanical working was so bad that there were edges that stood out and those then punctrated the accumulator and that started off these explosions but these are not the only accumulators or batteries that had problems the one where you would have died earlier there was an update this year bonus slide, cigarettes, you know cigarettes the Marble men were dying off from lung cancer one after the other, that's known but then you know how it is with technology everything has to be quicker these days even dying, so e-cigarettes that explode in your trouser pockets that didn't look good our cars, you know e-cars 2014, all great looking great, 2015 you notice where this is going they started monitoring you surveilling you and in 2016, well you can imagine right what happened in 2016 they just blew up on us again but not just high tech things like this are dangerous but also things that you think you know, toilets 2014 you know how it goes, right trusted look trusted image familiar image you can't have much happening then and then it started first they were surveilled hang on, hang on this is an old sticker by digital courage actually but you know we won't be going home without an explosion again and a building site toilet explodes in the city of Filt so you see where it was can't you? but you can imagine, not very appetizing but well, that's all engineering right? it's an engineering problem so maybe in science it's all better 2016 was announced as the year of science so this is something star 7x which we visited so a record this year or a breakthrough, a milestone gravitational waves were proven great year on that regard then this you've probably seen as well science advances so you have kaida sitting here and well all around a good scientific year at some universities although well mediocre that's Bielefeld's technical high school offering their first bachelor studies for vegan diet and this is a kind of flat joke that I couldn't avoid because there was this headline this year that was so great sausage, oh you see it in English sausage wielding extremist attack vegan cafe in Tbilisi I had to include this surely you can see and an interesting definition of extremist right? we'll stay with science good news Mrs. von der Leyen, defence minister who faked her doctor thesis can keep her doctor title no mal-behaviour led by an intention to receive so that was what the university said so everything fine Microsoft improved its AI this year which AI again where it was a big topic in general it was a bit too hard well it's a teenager right they are impressible and it kind of went downhill quickly it escalated quite quickly and then tweets were protected this was a tweet bought from Microsoft but you have to see the positive side it's not a total disaster I have preserved this as a monument the dangers of AI so science also in 2016 determined that fracking is completely harmless you can see it here finally proven and well science of course is more than research it's about education as well you have to spread the knowledge so this year we saw a certain need for that for example at the Berlin Lagesl the authority that is for social services and receiving refugees so supplying refugees with documents and they completely failed there and a completely chaotic situation that can only be described as authority failure but something had to happen and of course they got experts in or we did the Bertelsmann-Arvato people very well known data analyst but let's go back refugee management efficient process design best practice dialogue in the future workshop and the arena of solutions what was that interjection? I didn't understand so another thing that really makes the illustration more interesting than the background this is an air cleansing device purification device you know the China images so the need is there there is a small problem and the Dutch said well we'll do something about it and we saw an illustration of the device in action got it from the archives for a long time that's another classic French movie Louis Diffené classic French comedian it was exactly that kind of device in that film and the world is clean not just that there is also a prototype for the next generation for 2017 that's when it will be introduced but we've got some secret images and that is of course from the movie Spaceballs the giant space vacuum cleaner well pull yourself together 2016 was also a high tech year we all remember the great achievements and politics of course had to deal with that as well and politics and technology is always a certain difficult topic there are certain frictions particularly when it's about cyber clearly this is a trade fair visit by Mrs Merkel but some people lead the way such as Ettinger the EU commissioner and the traffic minister Durbrind the person responsible for the data highways as well the traffic minister and Ettinger used to be responsible for digitalization then the cyber bullshit award that we originally named after Richard Clarke now he said things about encryption and privacy being larger issues and fighting terrorism so he kind of disqualified himself as a patron for this so we need a new one and that was more difficult than we thought of course first we thought of Donald but then as he expressed himself concerning cyber it wasn't completely disputable what he said you need two or three approaches until passing being able to pass that last one but he claims these claims are not complete nonsense they're not obvious nonsense he simply doesn't know he doesn't have a clue and that I prefer to someone claiming complete bullshit so Donald Trump is out so who else do we have how about Mr Ettinger let's see Merkel of course has full trust in Ettinger sorry his deadline has been called already that has been the norm when Merkel expressed something like that so this is just the new chief of the German security IT authority Schoenborn unfortunately the press only reacted with a certain moderate positive attitude so this was a second grade candidate but that's not the core of the issue anyway if you look at Loppedia what his career was starting at the bottom there well yeah well you don't really want someone like that at the head of the internet security agency so maybe you can call him a cyberclown but where does this actually come from and we found the original quote from industry insiders mocked as cyberclown he does not have any indication of technical expertise where does this actually come from governed by lay people from some kind of demo probably one of the freedom not fear series so interior ministry looks for voluntary cyberfire brigade so is he really that bad what did he do well surely you've noticed the cyber defense so he started in force voluntary brigade that industry experts would be lent to the state free for a small fee to help cyber ring at cyber things and the internet was immediately enthusiastic well no the they apply forceful cyber right this illustration comes from the computer build the computer branch of Germany's largest tabloid and largest newspaper overall cyber war make it great again new country will defend oh there was this quote that our freedom is defended at the Hindu Kush considering the Afghanistan war and then Merck account to call the internet a new area and this new area will be defended at the mouse pad because we have a large age range here with the large tag group we have the whole thing in metro as well BSI cyber brigade we serve voluntarily and again the internationally convincing version hack the planet with mr. Putin so cyber bullshit now is a huge category but there are many entries where you just take one glance and immediately see bullshit bullshit but if you look closely the name actually well the rest is bullshit too but the name so they've asked an expert and they said that they are ridiculously optimistic this complete bullshit as they have machine learning surprise surprise and it's about terminology as well not just the actual statement but someone being able to coin a new term that has direct response that can only be described as bullshit and we had a nice case this year exactly the dormant cyber pathogen something like we will all die it's lying in wait cyber pathology and the advantage with the pathogen is that there are established defense strategies and sometimes that cyber pathogen is kind of flexible you can extend it not just to viruses but also contents and there was this case of politicians called Anthony Wiener who ended his career by posting lewd images too much and his telephone had to be searched because they have emails on them because he was married to Clinton's main advisor so someone has to do it and this is how it looks so this is how you deal with cyber pathogens and another guest that we had this year who also expressed himself about cyber bullshit concerning the phone affair when the FBI said under oath that the iPhone could not be opened in any other way but the way they were proposing and then a week later they changed their mind and that was obviously a cyber bullshit as well and another case of bullshit in the crypto debate is always ripe with bullshit and it's not just targeted bullshit someone just has no clue at all it's not always meant in a manipulative way it's not quite clear in this case but the CIA director announced that cryptography outside the US doesn't really exist a very theoretical concept yes exactly and observers from Europe were kind of wondering this AES that American encryption algorithm whether it actually come from or invented it well you can't know everything as the CIA chef said so it's not good to know everything as well so another headline for you here that should be enough already IBM combines mainframes with the blockchain and the cloud hmm so if there was a three field bingo here we would have had thousands of cheers now without the blockchain nothing goes these days of course there's cyber bullshit in Germany as well you won't be surprised to hear that the telecom chef if you've ever listened to him he this year really gave it his all and the timing was kind of unfortunate there because nearly at the same time there was this highly announced security conference talking about Putin problems and the whole plastic that the telecom had distributed failed at the same time but then you can always call for a cybernato and that announcement that all telecommunication customers could be happy so it all gets a bit nicer if you look at the way the format looked the announcement was made we know what we're doing there was a huge failure of telecom routers in Germany now with the next plastic router apocalypse that affected routers they had a proper warning that they released and then we suddenly realized something is strange about this report and we looked a bit closer and then found risk level 5 the question then was what actually is risk level 5 it's a warning so 5 is kind of report is a warning and we then asked around and was kind of evasive it's not quite clear and we asked why is it such a problem because actually Germany if you look at the bandwidth statistics how much do we have compared to the home they have surpassed the 1% mark at least that but there is room for improvement there we've shown it to Poland so with high tech sometimes the problem is that if you start too early with certain device categories you get prototypes that have issues, early issues so the Berlin police in winter noticed that it gets cold and the cars with the radio communication failed not just one but 60 we had this internal police report found it and this report that the cold failed it was true but it wasn't it was actually just a cover up that the weather was responsible for this reason and then there was the problem with this harmless childhood diseases they affect technicians and F-33 fighter jet pilots have to turn it off and on again sometimes and that was kind of known, familiar to us we found a secret video from the service centre for the F-33 it was the pilot up in the air not really coping and everything swabbling about and machines spouting out of control a few thousand meters left to the ground and he then calls the service centre from the IT crowd from the British sitcom which is the standard phrase, the first thing that he always says and there's a service call so not just small planes are affected but bigger ones as well harmless childhood diseases the dreamliner had to reboot it a few times as well so if you're flying home from congress and catch a 787 get to the cockpit and ask when it was booted for the last time that was actually the second time that happened to the dreamliner here's the expert and you'll take over from me now it's not only in the air but on the ground you can't just fall down but the most expensive destroyer gets stuck in the Panama Canal and it's a bit embarrassing and water was running through the gasket by the propeller it's not a big problem and also in Germany the tornado, the German-British-Italian fighter jet also has problems after the software update new problems again from driving your car if you turn on the headlights and the cockpit lights go on and so the cockpit illumination was too bright so the pilots couldn't see at night and the drones are crashing after a ride for the United States so the Global Hawks, the big drones of the US are crashing and they have to deal with it somehow and they really don't want to know that everybody knows so they just put these stickers on on it there really was some innovations in dealing with technology so there was a case where the police had a drone not the military, the police killed someone with a drone and there was a disarming drone disarming robot for bombs and drove up to the sniper and then exploded the bomb on the robot beside the terrorist the attacker and then they asked for an upgrade and there's another upgrade which would have affected someone some people of you, it was the Windows 10 update that's not always only for opportune times it doesn't always come at nice points in time but has interrupted weather reports sometimes or destroyed the menu at a restaurant another high-tech innovation is voice recognition and now you talk to your devices and the voice recognition is coming to your home and the Amazon has something, it's called Alexa and there's a device that's called Echo and the third device you can just talk to the device and the address you say hello Siri with Apple and then the device knows the talk you're talking to it and turns out hello is optional for Alexa and in practice it can sometimes lead to problems and well there are actually people who are called Alexa the Internet the Internet of Things is a thing that we have to deal with this year and there were some high-tech things this year especially for nerds it's very attractive because if you like to tinker then you can spend hours with it so there was an Englishman who tried to make a Wi-Fi enabled and it didn't quite work and he posted on Twitter live what he was debugging and was quite technically challenging and when he talked about his his cluster his MOOC cluster and we don't know if it was real but at least it was a good set higher than the Internet in Heating hello Siri open the door please transfer all the money from the paper account or something like that sometimes it also gets hot and sometimes it's a bit cold sometimes it's a bit cold yeah what's important about security problems is how the manufacturer will react and there's a very nice example for manufacturer of of the most widespread webcam there's a Chinese manufacturer it's like well security issues everyone has those and that's just that's alright that it happens to our products the industry is standard and we don't worry about it and so they didn't say it's going to get better but it's just standard so the good news from this year the NSA is best why you can read it, I'm leaving in big numbers so nobody wants to work on it they got some bad press apparently so the lying press as the slogans of some German right wing demonstrations goes so energy is very cheap now China China actually reduced their CO2 emissions and Germany didn't and Germany says we don't really need to do anything about it if China burns so much coal but if China actually makes progress then we can also do it so on the employment market IT personnel is sought after and customers perhaps become very insistent that's the problem quickly enough but that's rather an opportunity than a bad thing the war on terror is almost over we have one so the right hand of Osama bin Laden is also dead his other right hand is also dead and another right hand, so how many right hands did he have so by the end of the year let's stop at this one this one, the small print his death had been reported multiple times already there was some change in the rhetoric suddenly bin Laden's right hands have not been killed but they only had financial problems and they requested political asylum so the war against terror has been won almost but sometimes there are misunderstandings and we see them more negative than they really are and if you look closely you can see that in fact it's actually great what was happening and there's one thing this year and this is the election of Trump there was one for it, in fact it was really great so we found this news of the RNC, that's the party organization of the Republican Party and the election of Trump was celebrated like the coming of Christ so yeah he's a figure of salvation and a bringer of light 10% now the market is up 10% also the people from the censorship were at the toilet sometimes the censor took a break yeah the censor took a toilet break and sometimes you wonder who chooses the pictures and some of the subtitles took a nap it shows a picture of Clinton and chance of Bernie so sometimes there are some ambiguous images if you look at the where the people in the background are looking it's quite strange what's happening here but really the core topic is really the content and we have an old example here our partner in democracy Mr. Erdogan in 1998 he said we don't really take it serious with democracy but there's one to talk about it yeah journalists was told to communicate for some seekers and they did it all at once but we got quite close the real truth and you don't have to read all of it I saw and heard that the leader of other planets are afraid because because they are interested in which way the European Union is going to choose and you can see the image sometimes people who are used to talking with the press talk about something in this time he talked about the person who takes care of the completely overpaid and not working Berlin airport he said that billions were misband so that was the press speaker who said that and the Lithuanians said we must reduce our historical feelings the Lithuanian president the German internal secret service leader wanted to what was angry about persons who leaked information and he wanted to put up crosses in the courtyard of this secret service organization and nail employees to them we have leaked image of that happening but we don't have enough time so what was all about there was a locked and they looked into it every other week and they found something new every time and it's you or sim cards or whatever and previous looking at the box they didn't find it but we don't know how it looks and apparently the lock box looks like this well maybe we'll find something else it's a larger model and you might remember this council of foreign relations and the CEO director was there and he had some quite interesting and remarkable ideas and he said geoengineering stratospheric infrasol injection to change weather patterns do you think about that and this is a video so three extra aluminum it's about chemtrails and now we wait you all know what's it's on YouTube you can find it the NSA warns against cloud computing that was on a conference where they sent someone from technology one of the organization who hacks other people and he says what you can do to not get hacked and his main recommendation was not to use cloud computing not only the CIA and the NSA were saying surprising things the FBI as well said surprising truth for example they sure does that the election machines were so secure because it's so bad nobody can hack it sometimes there are statements from politicians who were supposed to be diplomatic this diplomatic like the french foreign minister and he saw about his new colleague from across the pond from the UK yeah it's not completely untrue and when Boris Johnson heard about it this is a photo of him yes and sometimes it's the other way around that you try to hide what you said from the public and the Pentagon published a study to say about how much money is lost usually by public Romans usually or where they said much and they wanted to show some new information and they wanted to see that two millions were lost and one billion was found but with 25 billion dollars half a million doesn't look that well so they just dropped the study the prime minister of Japan Japan the current but the one back then he also had some well the center was on a loop right the situation was a bit worse than expected so he had some real good person he asked his nuclear suppliers whether he knew anything and he said no I just studied economics the same as TEPCO so we see the new chef of Tokyo Electric here who obviously wanted to clarify a couple of things so like admonishing his predecessor not maybe to use the word meltdown etc well you could say in retrospect he said it was a cover up extremely regrettable so that brings us to the Anatoly Bogoski award for applied nuclear safety and that was a well high competition this year so Europe of course present as well Belgium all time favorite so their reactors are so broken that they can't actually cool their cooling water tank so increase is a well plus 10 degrees Celsius is okay but the degrees have been gradually adapted as you can see here so if things are heated up so what they do now is actually heat the water in advance so if you have 50 degrees Celsius it's too hot so if it's well if 45 degrees we have a bit of space to maneuver well atomic waste if you want to leave it somewhere traditionally the best place to leave your atomic waste is very close to the border of your neighboring countries and that's exactly the same what's happening at the Canadian American border, US border you can see Detroit and Toronto on the map here and in between that we can see the nuclear waste right in the middle of the big lakes area of course no problem no danger of contaminated water and South Canada is where most people live in Canada so if you have a pool of water in the nuclear reactor what do you do with it so they find a solution, a swimming pool for campers is what they bought and when that was filled up they bought tubes and when they were full do you know these from the camps when they were full they had to go back to the supermarket and bought this very nicely shaped sample of course nuclear safety is safe with us but exactly how safe it is well you can see how little tiny events are enough to cause major problems and that was exactly what happened to a nuclear power plant in New York which was actually taken down by bird poop and we found an image of the suspected perpetrators well nuclear safety isn't related to buildings et cetera but also to well maybe artefacts and gadgets something was found by divers and thought oh dear I found a UFO but of course it was a nice story all the same just atomic weapons so we know that things are leading towards the end if you get to the next in Lamex Cues Award it's the nicest samples this year the browser extension you might have heard of it replaced the phrase donald trump with someone with tiny hands and this was actually used in a news item as you can see here correction was necessary but it's not only the excuse but the euphemism itself so it's not pre-crime information environment we don't call it a big data platform but a unified environment so it's a matter of vocabulary so we had another popcorn event here so suddenly people had to explain Obama this is about the no spy agreement saying maybe we could stop spying on our European partners and well there were questions for instance like well why was America monitored she's our partner efficiently isn't she but the response went into the well the response was basically well actually we're trying to listen to Putin and it wasn't exactly her phone because we were already monitoring it and had her under complete surveillance before she was even chancellor when her predecessor was still in office and so you know what happens when you have temporary solutions installed never touch your any system you know nice story from Seattle where there is someone snapping at the heels someone fighting cameras with court cases and in this case it was the electric infrastructure of whatever and he wanted to know what the surveillance cameras on those utility poles were doing and of course that just wasn't on but the excuse they found that was really great because they said this was an invasion to the privacy of those people under investigation if they said where these cameras were next item is funny on many levels because it's about a data base at the US Air Force and complaints that we are talking about now are about someone stole my food from the fridge or I found a corruption affair that I think I have uncovered and of course these things are outsourced to Lockheed Martin for example and of course these would be the main suspects in the corruption affair but they were running the database and then there was this regrettable hardware failure so this is close to the story where the tax records were moved to planet which was then eaten of a supernova or something yeah well it can happen can't it so we have this positive item here and more than everything is fine from our internet minister traffic minister he found this innovative solution how to install a overall and surveillance system that is running all the time and it's all encompassing just say that we are looking after the protection surely what didn't we think of that before and of course sometimes it's not even the hardware itself that is the problem but someone simply ignited it by mistake and that's what happened to a Taiwanese warship towards China and the rocket then went some 55 kilometers before hitting a Chinese stroller and left certain marks of use and unfortunately we didn't quite find the excuse in that case that was a mistake an oversight it happens someone smoked it probably or went to the loo a source of joy of course was the NSA committee of investigation at the German parliament for lame excuses we found one just as a representative for the whole genre and that was a file of destruction it was reflex oh yeah right you can't do anything about that then and that brings us to our traditionally last section the balls of steel award you know we premier citizens that have shown extraordinary courage there have been new sports like this sometimes it's the context that makes things special people at work facing huge challenges and there were people then that were kind of courageous if not innovative for diffusing bombs this guy is recovering improvised incendiary devices here's another one look what could possibly go wrong the blue one the blue one another thing that really impressed us were the women in Poland that went staged mass rallies and overturned a total ban on abortion the Polish parliament took note also very impressive were the women in Saudi Arabia that bombarded the king's office with letters asking to be allowed to drive because they were fed up with the charade they had to go through and quite at the same level was a project in Mali where they to have a certain problem with Islamists people calling themselves Islamists that go and burn old libraries and smoke them out and burn them and they got together and managed to save from the city of Timbuktu they were about to be invaded from those acts of war and destruction and there were a few obstacles to overcome there and with that as usual we wish you a merry crisis and a happy new year is that it? I thought we would have more so thanks for listening leaf