 Okay, so I downloaded the game. I didn't look anything up. Like you said, I just joined your game instantly. Wait, you joined it? I thought, I don't know who starts. We'll say Black, I think Black starts first, doesn't it? I don't know, chess. So excited. How many times have you played chess? Oh my god, it's like once or twice when I was back in kindergarten or something like that. You played chess in kindergarten? What? I was smart as a kid, then I fell down a tree and now I'm no longer smart. Pwns can move to at the start, and then after that it's only one. Okay, so now I can take you, so I'm going to. But this starts, are you ready, excited? I'm gonna shoot you. Oh my god, look at him. Wait, wait. Oh, wait, did you fall? Where are you? Okay, so you've got like special abilities depending on the piece that you play as. Oh, did you shoot me? Where are you? Oh god, I don't like this, I don't like this. Oh my god, dude. Yes, yes. This is how chess is meant to be played. I was gonna say, can I crouch? Go on, you play Apex Legends. You should be good at this. What? Oh wait, I killed you. Oh, I thought I lost there. I'll kill you. Oh, during the wrong one, you can duplicate. Okay, so I see. Do you like this version of chess now? I think it's better, do I have a chance to kill you even though I make a bad move? Actually, I don't even know if real chess applies, like the checkmate sort of stuff. I'm assuming that the bigger pieces like the rook, knight and bishop and stuff have more abilities whereas the pawn's quite basic. Oh, you could have a bishop against my pawn if you put your bishop there. Do you think you could handle me? You think you could take on my pawn prowess? I want to go! Let's go! Oh my god, you've got a freaking blunderbus. Oh my god, Jesus Christ! Run! I can hear you shoot. Oh my god, are you over there? Where is he? Where is he? He's hiding. Oh god, I see him. Where can you fly? I don't know, I think so. I'm not sure. I'm trying to figure out the controls. Shoot his toes! Oh yes, he's behind you. Okay, you killed me! You should die! Right, you could take me with your knight if you want. You think you can face on this bishop? Oh, this pawn's unstoppable! Oh, you've got a bow and arrow. Wow, okay. Two shots. Damn! Oh, there's like a charge up, is there? Yeah, there is. It's actually really hard. I don't want to play that one again. You got me really good there. Right, his weakness is the knight. Let's get him with a rook! E! I don't know what E does. Ah, wall! Oh, the rook has a sniper. Oh, I see. I see how it is. Oh my god, he got me! He's unstoppable with the pawn! I'm a handsome knight! You can't find me! Yeah, you made the knight. It's really good you can see how you can kill as well. That's really good for a cut. Oh my god, look at him! He thinks he can take me! I can! I've done it before. I can take your pony with the queen, but it's whether or not you want to move that. Oh! Oh! Okay, well, king it is! King versus knight! Oh, you have a sword! I don't know what any of this does! Oh my god! What just happened? Did I jump in the air? Oh, I have an ability like that. Jesus! I'm too tall! I can't slash you! It's just like a boink! A boink! Boink! You're too young! Leave me be! You can't side step like that! No! That was to kill my king! Is it over? No, no, no! No! What did that do? Yes! He's so close now! No! Oh wait, I got you! I got you! I don't even know what the charging point is! How close were you? At one point, you pretty much had me. I think one more arrow you would have killed me. Did you get my knight out? That's my main. Alright then, let's go! Knight V-paul! I'm like, how excited is no idea what takes once so all of a sudden you can just be flung into it like a match. Oh my god. Oh my god, I'm terrible at this. Just gotta wait for you to jump into my thing. Oh, what's happening? Are you sending multiple pawns to shoot me? I got you once though, didn't I? Oh, you hit me once? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you nearly killed me fully. It's like a two shot up thing. A glass cannon. Alright, fair enough. Bishop! Now if you don't stand a chance. Oh my god, I have a grenade! No! Do you think you could flee from me? Oh my god. Alright then, I'm mains V, I'm mains. Let's go! Did you die? Oh, I jumped away. Oh, I see. We're being tactical are we? Wait a minute. Oh, no, no! I got grenades for these! Oh my god, you hit me! That's not fair! Do I regenerate health? Where did I go? Right, Polytheon! Oh, I see. It was too powerful! Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I don't like it. I'm not good at this. I don't even know how to engage a fight. Oh, you can. Jokes on you, you haven't been in the Rook before. Oh, he's making walls. Go on then. What are you going to do, son? Are you going to run backwards? Oh, he's running scared! I see, I see, I see. I'm going to shoot your bum then. You can't hide from me! Be able to make walls and run straight into them. Oh my god. I think you've regenerated all your health, haven't you? Oh, I'm always just waiting to instantly die. Oh yeah, chess mustn't work, because I've just, like, checked you. Oh, you think so? You think so? Let's go! There's a freaking machine gun! So if you kill the Queen, if you kill the King, then that's it then. No, you didn't hit me with the swipes. What? Those swipy swipes. All right, all right, I'm going to start open with the Auschante opening here. I have no idea about chess, by the way. I don't know how to play chess either. Oh, he's wanting to engage with the knight. I'm not letting you have that. No! Oh my god, no, he's got the Gatling Gun! Jesus! Get him, Ponds! Get him! Oh my god! What am I supposed to do? She can fly! Oh my god! Am I even... I'm stuck in a chair! Oh, there we go, there we go, there we go. Oh god, that's you. Oh, that is you. Wait, are you holding a knight prisoner? Yeah! Are you holding a hostage? He's like me! Oh, that is so not fair! This is insane! Who made this as a prison genius? Leave me alone! Oh my god, no! There was no way I could hide from that. Wow! Will you? Will you? Or will it die? Are you saying that's a good idea? It was a good idea. I was hoping to kill you instantly, but it just didn't happen. Oh no! It can be only one. Right then! No! Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god. Oh god, you can fly! You can fly? It's the flying knight that got me. I've lost my best piece. So have you! Your queen just fell through the table. Yeah, your queen's not there anymore, right? You can't see her. I can't see her, no. Maybe we both killed each other at the same time, but you still were. Oh, I want to look at him. Look at him trying to bring his pony in as quickly as possible. Pony be pony! You don't know it's the best pony. Only the best pony wins. Oh my god! I suck at this. What is it? They put like the E is curved arrow. Like it shoots you around. Oh, did you use E there, did you? Alright then, back to basics. You're the better pawns. I was gonna say, I don't even know which one you are now. Did I get you? Yeah, you did. Did you know which one I was? No. I was just hiding in the park. Oh, you were just standing, you weren't jumping anything. You were just standing still. No, no, no. Your queen's there for a second and then she disappears. You're being jipped out of her. Were you good at kindergarten? I don't think so. I think I swallowed a piece or something. Oscar said, oh, he's engaging with the pony again. I don't like this, I don't like this. Oh my God, the curve arrow, I did not like that. Oh yeah, you run. You run, yeah. They even know where you are. I'm right next to you. Oh my God, there's something. Oh my God, he is. Okay, so my strategy is to get all your clones to follow me off the table because then they can't come back up. You hit me. Oh, that's the curve arrow, like home on. Right, I'm using the curve arrow. I don't like this. That's not fair. Okay. I see, I see how it is. There he is. There's the plunder bus. Oh my God, I'm not good at this. I'm really not good at this. Oh my God, the grenade. Oh God, he's got wings. I was almost dead. I was so almost dead. Yeah, you can see my screen. You were so close to dying. Are you going to engage your king? I'm going to try. All right, let's go. Wait, what? Oh, it pulls towards. Oh my God, I do not like this. Oh my God. He's got the lunges. Wait, I can just do the arrow. That didn't really work. Oh, now he's scared. Where are you going? You're hitting around the tree? It is super hard. It is really hard. Yeah, you really don't want to. Rematch requested. Yeah, yeah. Okay, fair enough, fair enough. We'll call that one a draw since you lost the queen. You're going to mirror everything you do. You're going to mirror. You're going to mirror. Okay, first off, let's do this. I think this is you. I could be wrong. I wish you could hit. Oh wait, I won. All right then, let's go. I'm not winning this one, I don't think. You can't just come here and think you have something, man. I know, right? This is like a wizard chess. It is a bit, yeah. Maybe that's where they got the idea from. How about Barak? All right, let's go. It's fine. Wait, wait, wait, what? Where did you go? Oh, I think I see you. Yeah, I see you. I see you. You might be able to run around, but not for long. Yeah, yeah, you can't hit the table and just win. There he is. There he is. There's only one that would fly off the table. Unless you got on the table, that was brilliant. It does take a lot of shots. I will admit, it does take a lot of shots to kill you. I knew it. I knew he was going to do it. I knew he was. Let's go then, son. Linus, Linus. Oh no! Queen because she's too OP or something. Oh, the game doesn't like you winning and having the Queen. Maybe they should play chess on the floor. Blunderbuss it is. Maybe I don't. Maybe I don't. Maybe I don't. Oh God, I don't think I do. Wait, which one's you? Is this you? Yes. Oh my God. The grenades won't do anything. You see that guy just like, I will protect you. Oh, oh. You don't goofed. I don't goofed up man. No, it's not going to happen. Oh my God. You can't fly. That's not fair. Bosses don't fly. All right, all right, all right. All right, all right, all right. There he is. Oh my God. Does that do much damage to you? I prefer the grenades. I'm going to be fair. No, there he is. Oh, you and your damn curved arrows. Oh my God, where is he? It's really not helping you when you should grab into the air because then I had just the aerial view of you. I know. Well, I've learned that. Thanks for the heads up. Let's go then. Let's see how you face it. Bishop versus Knight. Is this hurting you? If you click loads, you just like fire loads of arrows out. Oh, I didn't know that either. That's, oh, that's a new strategy. Yeah. I don't think they do any damage. I don't know how, how damaged you were before you died. Wait, I have my queen. Oh my God, you do. This whole time, she isn't, oh no. Behind you. I can shoot the top of your head. Oh, that is like you, is it? No. You're down there. I am down here. This is not good. This is not good. Another wall please. Yes. Wait, where are you? Oh my God. Where is he? Sniper cross map. Oh my God. You're so good at being the damn Knight. It's not fair. I didn't play with the king. You was the, okay. I thought it was the king. No, I didn't play with the king. No, no, no, no. I wasn't going to risk that. You can be too good with that. All right. Now we'll do it. Now we'll do it. Let's see your main be the king, baby. Where did you go? Off the table. I can't be close to you. Oh, is that so? Oh, I see them. I see them in the chair. I see them. Oh, yeah? You need to kill me. Oh, you could block. I didn't even realize you could block. Oh, wait, did you take those damage from that? That's what I did. Yeah, but I took damage from blocking. No, you don't. You win, Excite. You win. Yay. You're just too good. I liked it. I know you do. It's not fair. You're too good with that. I'm never playing again. Bye.