 I feel like singing a song that is kind of a Christmas song from Jesus. You probably know the lyrics. It's from the chorus. And the song is called Christ Has Come. That's when we were here. We were over there. So this is a whole new acoustic. Yeah, we can really enjoy the music. Well, Merry Christmas everyone. Thank you for coming. We can't think of a more wonderful way to spend Christmas together than just here in our hearts and feeling that love and connection at a time of prayer to let up and let go of anything that blocks the light from our awareness. I remember that section in the chorus where Jesus is encouraging everyone, bring anything that still hurts you, bring it to the Holy Spirit this Christmas time. That's like his wish for Christmas, bring whatever hurts you to the Holy Spirit and be free of it, be released of it. So it's just been dawning on me too that this world isn't dream. And as we deepen on the spiritual journey, we are learning how to read the signs and the symbols. And become very good at dream interpretation, because that's really how the Holy Spirit can reach us through dream interpretation. We seem to get off into chaos and havoc and drama when we blank out and really are not aware that we're dreaming. We're taking our perceptions very seriously when we're interpreting them in very dark and serious ways. It could be quite a drama, it could be quite dark. But the purpose is really to start to let the Holy Spirit interpret our dream symbols for us. So it seems like every year there's so many symbols that come and we've been enjoying love symbols this year, 222. Yeah, everywhere. Everywhere. 2022, we got married on February 22nd of 2022 at 2.22 p.m. And then the symbols have just followed us all the way through the year, including getting stuck in a snowstorm in Minnesota and hearing the pilots say our departure will be very soon and the distance we will cover down to Jacksonville is 222 miles. So it's been twos, twos, twos all the way along. And I think we can start to see that the Spirit can be very playful with the use of symbols and we can start to just enjoy the symbols as they come to us instead of seeing that there is a problem. And I was just pondering today how beautiful it is to really remember that there really are no problems. Any problem that appears in perception has been made up. It's a make-believe problem, not a reality. So anytime we start to take something in the dream serious then that is just trying to make a problem where there isn't a problem. And that also brings up this curious, if I say, methodology of problem solving, which human beings seem to be quite focused on everyday problem solving. And what Jesus is really wanting us to understand is that it's not that the problems that we perceive need to be solved but that the very belief that there are problems at all is what we have to raise up into awareness. We need to pray to be shown that there are no problems. We never have had problems and we never will have problems. And therefore we are not really meant to be focused so much on problem solving but just on prayer and faith to be shown another way of looking at the world, to see the world differently. So that's why Jesus is telling us, seek not to change the world, seek rather to change your mind about the world. It's being lit up in mind to have a good laugh and start to realize that what you thought was so isn't so. So I think that also shows us that as we start to move deeper into the spirit we are going to have our perceptions transformed very, very radically because with our perception of a fragmented world we are not seeing clearly at all. It's like in Corinthians in the Bible looking through a darkened glass. We're just not seeing when we're in the dark, when the filter is clogged but when we clear the filter then we see the world in a completely different way. So the prayer has to be one of learning to be guided and to let the Holy Spirit use our judgments to unwind us from this dark way of proceeding. And when we open up to the idea of God's will being perfect happiness we can see that the reason the ego made perception was to convince our mind that perfect happiness was impossible to make perfect happiness seem like a far off unreachable dream. I think Frank Sinatra did a song called The Impossible Dream and I remember my dad played that song a lot to reach the impossible dream. This is my quest to follow that star no matter how hopeless, no matter how far to dream the impossible dream. That's pretty much what this world is to dream the impossible dream and to cover over the idea of perfect happiness so it makes it seem like an impossibility. So our experience has been that that's why the guidance is so important. Guidance is a way of the Holy Spirit using something that the ego made which the ego made judgment. It made judgment for a reason and that reason was to try to bring some order into chaos whether you call it the fall from grace or the fall from heaven or the dream of forgetfulness, forgetting God's law and oneness but this realm of dreaming a world of separation was initially experienced by the mind as very chaotic and so judgment was an invention of the ego to bring some order into chaos and that's why the ego judges, compares, rank orders and what it did was it took the cosmos of images and just put them in a rank order or hierarchy of illusions that seemed to bring the mind into a semblance of order but actually not a peaceful sense of order it still was an unsettled state of order just like if you had a preschool and the children left the room, the children stayed there and the teacher left the room and the children got into a food fight and when the teacher came back she saw there was food on the ceiling, on the faces, all over the kids and she screamed, stop! Stop! All the girls over here, all the boys over there put your food down and immediately the order was trying to be restored to a chaotic pre-school room with food everywhere so the ego used the judgment to try to bring a sense of order into a very chaotic situation the reason it's chaotic, of course, is because before the seeming fall the mind was used to heaven so everything was bliss when you go from bliss into something other than bliss the feeling is chaos feeling is, oh my God, what happened? the Holy Spirit has to use the judgment to unwind the mind from this entire chaotic perception so we could say God's will, which is for perfect happiness is just the state of heaven and then the one thing we could say about perception as you go through the awakening it will seem more and more unfamiliar it will seem more strange when you get closer to the lawns of heaven what seem to be your everyday perceptions of this world start to become so loosened that it may feel more like a hallucinogenic drug experience than approaching heaven because it's so different so when Jesus said, judge not, lest you be judged he's basically saying that any judgment whatsoever will block out the awareness of this bliss from your mind even the slightest judgment you know, a cup of iced tea is the judgment an iPhone is a judgment it's not like we just had to stop all people from judging all other people a person is a judgment everything that was made to be as if a separate object the stars are judgments the black holes are judgments the oceans, the planets are judgments everything, the solar systems are judgments because they seem to set off something as if it exists in and of itself apart from all the other images in the cosmos so there's parts in The Course in Miracles in, for example, in Lesson 128 he does this he does it in a number of parts of the course in the text and in the workbook he says basically you're perceiving a fragmented world in which images seem to exist in and of themselves and they're set off by time and space and in your world you perceive this is just the way things are objects are objects images are images things are things stuff is stuff but this is all invented there are no such things as things or images or objects in Heaven Heaven is pure abstraction and when you come closer to it it feels like something's being taken away from you and it's really you could say it's just the old familiar egoic way of perceiving the world as being rinsed away is starting to fade away and that's why we gather like this gathering we're here at Christmas to in some sense get a different perspective on the awakening because from the ego's perception it seems as if things are being taken away from us we titled this retreat The Light of Christmas originally but as we came closer to the retreat and we started to receive the feedback and everything we decided to call this marriage, divorce and eternity that was a little more appropriate for this gathering there's a lot of issues up for the participants around marriage, divorce and eternity eternity that was your nickname when I first met you Cindy was called eternity she'll be representing eternity show my ego some things haven't changed so what that does is it starts to put us into a context to see things in a different way because when we talk about marriage, divorce and eternity the marriage is oftentimes seen as a desire for a union experience that's what a marriage is it's a desire for a union experience and divorce can have many different meanings but we do know from A Course in Miracles that Jesus says all things work together for good so whatever seems to be occurring in the dream what Jesus is convincing us of is everything that's occurring is happening for your awakening nothing is happening against you and everything is happening for you or more specifically for your mind not for you as a person because when those interpretations come in it's very dark and very personal and the highs and the lows can be interpretations that can be very fleeting but eternity is something that's beyond the judgments of this world beyond the rights and the wrongs of the judgments of the world and so this is going to be a very interactive retreat that felt like that would be very helpful I don't know if you have a song about that though I could sing eternal too you can feel how lovely and nurturing the fact that really is the only point of perception perception is just nothing more than an opportunity to regain or to remember the eternal so we can talk a little bit about the dynamics that perception has no other purpose it was made by the ego Jesus says the world was made in hate where it was made as an attack upon God a place where God can enter not and so if the reinterpretation of perception is an opportunity to regain the awareness or to remember the eternal then that gives us a very focus for this world that means that our time is not random time, Jesus says time can waste and be wasted by the ego but actually time and perception have a very important purpose to regain eternity and awareness there's one part in a course where Jesus says only a constant purpose can stabilize events so if you think and you just look at your entire life and when your time all the ups and downs, all the things you've done I remember Johnny Jackson was telling me all the adventures you've had and you've had some adventures all over the world we can call you Johnny Adventure instead of Johnny but actually all the adventures of time and space are really just calling on the mind to give them a constant purpose to stabilize all the events one time when Bill and Helen were taking down a course of miracles they went through quite a few chapters when they finally got up their courage to ask Jesus they said we stop you for a moment and ask you one question how did this happen in the first place? they got up their courage to ask Jesus how did this happen in the first place? and he just said well you should know by the emotional ups and downs the emotional roller coaster of your emotions as a human being that you believe that it did happen he wouldn't even tell them how or why and he wouldn't even acknowledge that it actually happened but he would say you believe that it happened because look at your emotions your emotions should tell you that something you believe something happened and your mind is very powerful so if you believe it happened then you can experience it as if it happened but he wouldn't acknowledge that it actually happened he was just saying you believe it and you are on this emotional roller coaster ride one time I was talking with Jesus in my mind and I always would say let's cut the chase let's get down to the breathing of the core of things and he said ever since the belief in separation from God you feel something is missing you feel something is lacking something has gone terribly wrong you don't know what it is you're quite sure something is amiss and from this state of life you yearn for love and you seek for it in form but it cannot be found in the form you're actually looking for it where it can't be found and so I said okay seeking for love seeking for love yeah yeah and he said doing a lot of that doing a whole lot of that and he said well let's look at it from a different angle once you seem to forget eternity you have a yearning for continuity you want continuity because you want something that will last forever you want something that will endure you want something that will stay with you you don't like temporality you don't like fragmentation you yearn for continuity so when we get back to the marriage, divorce and eternity the marriage and the divorce part come about in time and space out of the desire for continuity you want to find love you said having to try to find it in a love partner and you will go after this construct which is marriage in this world because underneath it you have a deep burning desire for continuity you don't want things to come and go so quickly back when I was growing up in the 1960s I came up with the invention maybe Cindy remembers the invention of the Dixie cup remember the Dixie cup they were all on a row of paper cups all together and you could poke your Dixie cup it was about this big and they say you get a little drink and crumple and of course the throw away society filling up the land the waste places everywhere but Jesus would say to me you see relationships in terms of Dixie cup relationships and they don't satisfy you you see your food in terms of Dixie cup you're always getting little taste of many different things and you don't get any continuity from it you're just searching for variety oh here we go come on in beautiful we're just talking about Dixie cups one little drink and then you throw it away and I was saying Jesus was saying you're just not satisfied because your heart is yearning for continuity and you're not finding it in time and space and there's a part of you that's very sad there's a part of you that's depressed because you're looking for continuity and you're not finding it you're not finding it in your jobs you're not finding it in your relationships you're not finding it in your families You're not finding it in your hobbies and your interests, you're searching for continuity. And then he went on to point me out in the course where he says that the present moment is the closest approximation of eternity that this world holds. So if you're going to find any semblance of the continuity that you want, you're not going to find it in the form. No matter how many times you incarnate and reincarnate, it will still be the same story. You will not find continuity in time and space. This is important because this course in miracles that we're following with Jesus is here to save us time. It's here to help our mind make a decision that we can go for something that will be fruitful, that will be helpful to us, that will quench our thirst for continuity. Some of you remember 2,000 years ago, Jesus met the woman, the Samaritan woman at the well. And he said, you know, can you give me a drink? And she said, but I'm, you're a Jewish man and I'm a Samaritan woman. And she went into a big long thing about we shouldn't even be interacting. And he again said, will you bring me a drink? And then he was like a prophet. He said, call your husband. But he knew that she didn't have just one husband. She had many husbands. And right away that came to the light very quickly because he's very telepathic. And eventually he did say the words, drink of me and you will never thirst again. I think that relates to what we're talking about, about continuity. I think it's Jesus, which is our real self, our true self that was perfect as God created it, was speaking to this woman saying, drink of me and you will never thirst again. He's saying it to all of us. Follow my purpose and take my purpose that I give to you, the calling I give you, your life's calling. And begin to transfer it to every person you meet, including yourself and every situation that you experience. Only a constant purpose, he says in the course, can endow events with stable meaning. If we want continuity, if we want stability, if we want peace of mind and still with perception, we have to let go of everything else that we learned about this world. We have to let go of the purpose that the ego had for making relationships, the purpose for jobs and careers, the purpose for our hobbies and interests, the purpose for everything that we perceive in this world. We have to be willing to let it go and say, bring me your purpose, Holy Spirit, so that I may have stability and peace of mind, so that I may come close to heaven. Before I wake up to heaven, I can have a happy dream. I can have a peaceful dream, a joyful dream. That's exactly what Course in Miracles is about. And he goes on to say that linear time is an invention of the ego. God did not create linear time. God did not create past, present, future. He actually tells us that the present moment is before time was. Like he said in the Bible, before Abraham was, I am. It's actually not a point in between the past and the future. That's part of the mesmerism. That's part of the hypnotism. My mother, who just passed away a little over a year ago, was a history teacher. So she spent her entire life teaching thousands of students, past, present, and future. And Jesus says, not only did the ego make linear time, and God had nothing to do with it, but he says that the ego attempts to force continuity onto linear time. The ego tries to force, Jesus used the word force continuity. So here it is, the one thing that we're desiring continuity, and the ego is trying to force continuity onto past, present, and future. You see, the only way the ego can maintain guilt is through linear time. The ego says, you were terrible in the past, the present moment is just a little blip of nothingness, it's just that the ego is unsexual, can't do anything about it. The past just rolls over like a steamroller, and then it rolls on into the future. So the ego says, you're guilty in the past, you can't do anything about it in the present, to change that guilt, and you will be guilty in the future. And that's why the ego came up with concepts like, you'll burn in eternal hell. Anybody remember that? We heard that one on this planet. That comes from the ego, burn in eternal flames of hell, is an outcome of the belief in linear time. So for me, I started to realize that, wow, that is radical stuff, in that I'm willing to go for the guidance, I'm willing to let you guide my mind, and guide my life, and bring me miracles, because it's apparent to me I'm going to need lots of miracles, and lots of trust, and lots of epiphanies, and spectacular moments that show me that things are not as they seem to be. Because when we just admit that things are the way we think they are, based on our past learning, it's very depressing. It's no wonder why people commit suicide. It's no wonder why people are addicted to antidepressants, or are so distracted by so many things in this world. Drug addictions, alcohol addictions, sex addictions, addictions to various forms of stimulation where people feel so bored, and so depressed about what they perceive to be linear time, that they're looking for a way of distraction. Even a momentary distraction they feel has got to be better than extreme boredom and depression. But underneath it, what Jesus is saying is the gateway to what you really want, is to go towards the present moment and towards continuity. Now, how do you go towards the present moment? Well, you do it through guidance. I mean, right before we came down here, Igor texted me, and we had a nice chat on the phone, and we were down here in July, right over in that room and everything, and for Igor and Katarina, not only are they hosting all of us, but they're going through some major shifts and changes in their perceptual world. Their dream is shifting and teetering in a big way, which is good. I'm glad you all invited us to be part of that because when you start to go for your intuition, when you start to go for the true continuity, when you start to go for the present moment, the Holy Spirit will loosen things up in your perception in, I'd say, a pretty dramatic way. In fact, in the early stage of the development of trust, Jesus says it will seem as if things are being taken away from you. He comes right out and says it will seem as if things are being taken away from you. And the only reason this is happening is because you had put value into something that was valuable. And how else can you learn but through contrast of having things seem to go away, to learn that the value that you sought was not in the things or in the circumstances or in the situations or even in the relationships. But the true value of spirit is within you. It's you. Your real self is what's valuable. The Christ self has all value. And the trinkets of the world will just say their dream symbol that the Holy Spirit can spin around a little bit to help you realize, oh my gosh, I thought that was valuable and now I'm starting to realize maybe it wasn't as valuable as I thought it was. Of course the egos that are going, it is valuable and you should be sad and this is terrible. Whatever is happening, we will judge whatever is happening in that way. So it was beautiful because we're coming down here and Igor says, well, we did a beautiful house, we're going to have a retreat in, it's sold. I said, what about the house across the street? It's sold soon. Wow, this is really just a skit. You are in a theater. Enjoy the sparkly lights. Because in about three weeks, they're gone. The whole thing is gone. I like that. This reminds me of my years with family. I would show up and do it and then I would move on to the next town and people would say, didn't you maintain contact with those people? Did you get their email addresses? This was back in the early days of email. I said, no, it never occurred to me to get email addresses. I was walking through something as soon as I passed through it. I was on to whatever would be shown to me next. I wasn't trying to maintain contacts with the past and I was just trying to just show up and have it be brand new and fresh and then move on to the next theme, brand new and fresh. And for me that was my attempt to find that continuity inside of myself instead of trying to look for continuity and form. In this world, of course the ego has looked for continuity on the timeline. I remember when I grew up in my family, my grandfather, Heinrich Hermann Hofmeister, was called Harry and Lillian were married for 57 years. That's pretty good in this time world, 57 year marriage. But I would have some really good discussions with them because I was interested in finding to the core of what was valuable and I know I was quoted probably many years saying I would rather have one instant of complete, pure union than 57 years of compromise. That's what I was thinking. Why are you talking about that? But I know in talking to Lillian and Harry they really hung in there and they really used their relationship for a long forgiveness. But I still feel, Jesus is saying, one instant spent together restores the whole universe to you. One instant. But he's telling us that you're not really afraid of the things that you think you're afraid of. You're afraid of connection. You're afraid of light. You're afraid of redemption. You're afraid of love. And you've got really good at distracting away from love, getting into a bunch of other things that aren't love, and then trying to convince yourself you're in love. When you're distracted and addicted into so many things that really God didn't create and don't really have anything to do with love. So it's quite sobering actually when you start to look at that. One instant spent together restores the whole universe to you. That's why when we come together we have great opportunity not so much as to expect that we will reach that instant, but to hold it dear in our hearts and also be willing to let up into awareness of the thing that is in love and not hide it and protect it. And that's what's so important for healing just to be able to talk about it. We were coming down, Igor messaged me, I talked to him the next day, well the houses are so really, the houses, both houses, yes. We're getting a divorce. You're getting, oh, divorce. I had you on speakerphone. I was just kind of wandering through the house hearing the words that she swore in this lifetime she would never hear. Because I had you on speakerphone. And she's just wandering into the kitchen just like, what's happening in the room? But actually, we can rename the retreat now because we're all going for healing. We all really are going for healing. We're all going to expose anything. And I think Igor asked me, has this ever happened before you? I said, yeah, back in the mid-2000s. I went to Argentina and the two were getting a divorce and it was a Argentinian family and grown children. And they were all angry and pointing fingers and ready to throw people out of the house. But I actually had a great time. I actually enjoyed these kind of things where I get dropped into a hornet's nest of an Argentinian family is breaking up. After 32 years of marriage the husband has an affair with a woman from Uruguay or whatever and then everybody's emotions erupt and explode. And I think I'm grateful that I have been sent in by Jesus for two weeks so I can sit ahead of hard-to-heart talks with everybody. They could just express their rage and express their anger and they wanted their father to get him out of the house. Get him out of the house. But no, he was still in the house and that set up a lot of beautiful conversations where I would sit with everybody and I would say, no, no. This, everything comes down to decisions and we all have very powerful minds and we have to equally honor the decisions that are being made. So I talked for two weeks about honoring the decisions that were being made in love, in kindness, in respectfulness and don't blame and don't try to make somebody right, somebody wrong. I absolutely refuse to take a side. The wife's name was Maria Cristina Uart. It's a French name. Mary Christ Uart. That's a set up from Jesus. The wife's name is Mary Christ Uart and the husband's name was Alberto Sr. but he was affectionately called by his wife, the king. So this is perfect. An Argentinian family. The king is leaving the queen and I'm just there to say, calm down. We have to honor and respect the decisions. So it was two weeks of forgiveness of just saying let's honor and respect the decisions here. We're not here to take sides. We're not here to make somebody right. We're not here to make somebody wrong. We're not here to dredge up the past and hold things against people. We're here to honor the decisions. And I said, I kept smiling through the whole thing. We can choose peace right now. We can choose peace. They're like, ahh! They're ready to kill each other. They're like, no, no, there's another way. There's another way. They would say, David, if you only knew, no, I don't need to know anything. I'm staying here in the spirit of love and reconciliation and let's treat each other with kindness and respect. So it actually hasn't been now. We've got a whole weekend here or three days here to explore how do we go for continuity? How do we actually go for continuity? Because that's what we seek. We want to continue this. In one sense, I think, I can see that's partly why Jesus was having these houses sold is because they had mortgages. Mortgages are instruments of time. Mortgages are instruments of the ego for distress. Unless the mortgages are Christ-controlled and, I mean, fully given over to Christ to manage, unless Jesus Christ is your mortgage manager, then you are in for a hellish ride because anything that's an instrument of time was invented by the ego. And the ego invented this world to keep you from knowing who you are, to keep you from forgiving, to keep you from finding that continuity. So I could actually see the blessing in this was like you had something being listed off of you that you both, maybe you felt it over in Israel, right? You probably felt it first when you were right over there in the Holy Land. Shed off the mortgages now. Jesus was speaking to you loud from the Holy Land now. And then when you got back, you didn't even have to call a real estate agent. Jesus made sure that the call was made to you. I wanted to buy both of your houses. You see how that's what happens when you put everything, including your mortgages under Christ's control, then Jesus will arrange time and space. And that's a good practical example of loosening from the instruments of time which were made to keep you bound in time and taking you one little step closer to eternity. I'm sure as we talk, I mean, I think, Gabriel, you had things where you, when I first met you, you had a company and you were flying around the United States and doing all these kind of things with the company and then eventually you sold the company and then the people you sold the company to wanted to have you install the CEO of the company. Little turns, one little turn at a time, you see? First Jesus gets the company out from under you and then comes back in a way that you hadn't anticipated. But that's what I mean by putting everything under Christ's control because it will unwind you little by little out of the beliefs that you have about how your value and security is tied into time. And that is not the truth. Our value and security is not tied into time. It's tied into the present moment. So we're all kind of, I call this, we're all saints in training. We're all going through these unwinding experiences. We're being taken closer to our experience of the present moment. And then, you know, there's so many saints throughout history that have spoken about this. Another thing that comes to mind around money is inheritance. Wow, that's really an interesting concept because Jesus is saying your inheritance is the kingdom of heaven. You are created by God and your inheritance is eternal. But once you put that inheritance onto the timeline then you see the arguments begin. You see the struggles begin. I remember with my mother and father at some point I was traveling so much around the United States and Canada and so much around the world that I think they informed me at some point. They said, David, we don't know how to break this to you but we've decided to have your sister be the executor of our will. You know? Yes. That's the most beautiful thing when you've been left out of being the executor of our will. I knew that was up. Jesus, thank you, he's working overtime. And sure enough, you know, when my mother passed away then, yeah, I would occasionally get an email or something or a few dollars in the mail. And I was very thankful. Because when you get something like inheritance which is really divine and you start to put it on the timeline you see what that does to families. You see brothers and sisters and people fighting getting attorneys doing all kinds of things. And it wasn't long after, I think within this past year I saw something where Gandhi had said he had quite a few children and everything and he was married and he had quite a few children but I know while he was still alive, Gandhi did say I will be passing on no earthly inheritance to any of my family members, my wife or my children. I was like, wow, that takes guts. That takes guts. He really was into nonviolence. He really was into peace, you know, when you do that. I remember Cindy, you were going through a divorce one time and you were married at the time to a millionaire. What's his name, Stan? Richard. Richard, Richard Stan. And then I was in an airport somewhere and you called me and so well we are going to go through a divorce but I'm not going to ask for anything. And I remember the millionaire's attorney saying there is not a woman alive on this planet that will not ask for anything. But I knew Cindy. I said she really isn't going to. She's not going to ask for anything in the divorce. And that was probably a great teaching for that attorney. Richard's attorney. Who had to witness that? Whoa, there's another... Don't you want a card? Don't you want something? You see, that's where we start to really see how willing are we to follow Jesus towards the continuity or how willing are we to follow the ego. Because the ego is always saying safety and security is on the timeline and you need the things of time to be happy. And Jesus is always telling us, no, it's not that way at all. It's not the things of time that will ever bring me eternal happiness. It's actually in beginning to start to see the valuelessness of the things of time and space. So for me that's been kind of the adventure of my life because as I let go of my university studies I let go of my pursuit of degrees, I let go of my career and then began to just travel and accept invitations. One of them was going to... So anyway, I didn't even own the house. She was in Hartville on High Street. I really pay attention to the symbols when I'm visiting. You're living in Hartville, Ohio and the slogan for Ohio is in the heart of it all. So you're living in Hartville in the heart of it all on High Street and she was living there because a friend of hers had just offered her a place to stay. So she was just there with a hot tub and it was all freely given and that is a symbol of how our life is meant to go. Yes, it's like this. This place seems like a fairy tale, right? We're looking through fairy lights. We're looking through the fairy lights. But it's meant to be a listen follow where you follow along and you follow your guidance and you go from scene to scene to scene as if you're in a fairy tale, as if you're Cinderella in the fairy tale. And you don't actually need to know what will be in the next scene. That's what right now, Katerina and Igor are doing. You don't know exactly what's in the next scene. This is an apartment with two cats and Jackson though, but that will be interesting too because you don't really know what's coming next. And that's what I started to trust. You know where Jesus has trust with several other problems now. I started to say, well, I'll just keep trusting and I don't know how it's going to go and then I'll trust again and I'll just learn to take what shows up and then I'll trust again and take what shows up. And that is a very different way of living your life than planning for the future based on past learning, which is how the ego set up when you're dying. Always planning for future outcomes based on past learning, on your education, on your past experiences and trust. And Jesus is saying, no, you won't escape from time and space if you keep going, playing by the ego's gains. If you just go your way, even with all the songs that Salah's received, I don't know, 100 and some... I'll say 120, 30 songs. 120, 30 songs. But each song is coming very fresh. Like it's just showing up. Sometimes it just comes and stays in your mind until you record it or whatever. But in one sense, that's how your life starts to become. You start to just receive things and then you appreciate what you receive and then you appreciate again what you receive. And then you start to say, could I really live my life just listening and receiving and acting upon the guidance that's given to me? You see, that goes against all of our programming, all of our conditioning. It's like Robert Frost. It's the road less traveled. Your intuition and following the Spirit is the road less traveled. Now, I think we have a really good three days to explore this topic in depth. Yes? I can't explore this topic right now. Because since you start talking, my mind is like, first of all, I love the interpretation, you know, like interpreting life as a dream. And I've been doing this more and more often. And as you speak, I'm seeing that I'm having like a double divorce right now. 28 years of Miami Beach Day County divorce and 14 years with my landlord. And I'm circumstances, I just pack everything, Thanksgiving weekend and I am as a guest at my sister's house in Tampa. And I have no idea what's next in my life. That does seem to be how things are orchestrated. That's why we're all here to look at this so deeply. And I do know that it's like, they always said when God closes the door, he opens a window or when doors seem to close from the past that where we were just repeating and looping in, there is a fresh opportunity for what I was saying to find the continuity, to find the purpose, to find the hidden purpose for everything. You know, we're so accustomed to thinking that in terms of goals, you know, the ego has really fooled us into striving for future goals. And we thought ambition was a good thing. I remember, I was very, very, very, very convinced that ambition was good until I was watching the movie Gandhi and I adored Gandhi and there was an American journalist who was walking with Gandhi when they were building an ashram in South Africa and the American journalist's name was Walker. And Walker said to Gandhi, Mr. Gandhi, you're quite an ambitious fellow and Gandhi answered him saying, I hope not. And I said, I had to stop the movie. What did he say? This guy, I thought, Walker was offering Gandhi a compliment and Gandhi's reply was, I hope not. You're quite an ambitious fellow. I'm waiting for Gandhi to say thank you so much. But he said, instead, I hope not. And that hit me hard to stop the movie because I thought, wow, Gandhi's saying I hope not. I had to start to question my own beliefs about ambition because they've involved the future. After all, this is America, right? Ambitions for the future make a better life and so on and so forth. But what Jesus is teaching us is we're going to find that continuity in the present moment. We have to be willing to question every value that we hold. He says not one can be kept hidden or obscure your learning. And so that was kind of a turning point in my life. Maybe I was in my 20s when I was watching that Gandhi movie and I had that moment where I just thought, wow, I think I am going to go for truth. I think I'm going to dedicate my life to finding the truth, whatever that is. And it also struck me recently because I was just watching this movie I'm going to show on the last day of this year called Einstein and Eddington. And I saw the trailer and I just felt, I told Saul, I said, I don't know this trailer, I don't know where that movie is, but I said, that feels like really good. And I'm going to show that movie because it touched me so deeply that here are two scientists, a young Albert Einstein who's been called back from Zurich to Berlin and Arthur Eddington, who's a brilliant scientist in the UK. This is back in the early 1900s. This is World War I breaks out and these two are exchanging letters except one's in German and one is from Great Britain and the people around them are like, don't, you can't write letters to these, you can't communicate, they're the enemy. But what I like about these two scientists, they cared more about the truth even during World War I than countries, than nationalism. You know, Eddington was all fired up. He went looking in his library where he was in his university and all they had was one paper by Albert Einstein and he kept reading it over and over. He was fascinated by what Einstein was discovering and then he went in one day and they said, sorry, that one paper has been removed. The one paper from Einstein that he was reading was removed from the library because he's German. We're at war. It's been buried some down in the archives. He was so mad at Eddington, he went down digging through the archives to find this paper. Because he was in pursuit of truth. And so was Einstein. Einstein said, all these scientists in Germany are signing this, say, we back the German government, we back the military. You know, here, we need your signature on it. Einstein refused, absolutely refused to sign it. He was furious at the idea that they were going to make nitric acids or things to get people and kill people with. Einstein hated war. And in Eddington, he was a Quaker. He was developed to God. So here, Jesus brings these two together that have this deep yearning to find the truth. To find the continuity that we're talking about. Not even a world war could keep these two apart. Together, they join minds to come to some huge discoveries about the relative nature of this world. And God did not actually create gravity. God did not create the laws of physics. They started to go beyond to the absolute. Which perfectly lines up with what Jesus is teaching us in the Course. I am sparked by whenever I see someone who's willing to go for the truth above all else. That's what my life has been about. And I have to say, I feel happy that I decided that. I was in my 20s, not usually the most popular time when you decide to just let go of everything. Your parents, relatives. What are you going to do for a living? I want the truth. Does the truth pay? What's the salary for a truth seeker? No idea. But you can see, that's what Jesus is encouraging. He's saying, go for the continuity in the present moment because you'll find it there. And you won't find it in the instruments of time. And Monica, good for you. You'll find yourself right at this retreat. We renamed it and you're like, I got a double divorce. Yeah. There's a song that you can play with your... I have a limited because my cable is stuck on. Oh, I could play my savior. It's a beautiful one. Your savior, that intuitive voice that knows us as we really are that's so eager to take us into eternity. And yeah, I was thinking of Monica coming after those 30 years and everything. Actually, when little David was four was the last time it snowed. In St. Augustine. And then that was 60 years ago. Then 30 years ago, I was up in my little place in Cincinnati and I was just praying and praying. And then in 1992, 30 years after that first snow, Jesus said, go to Florida. So I remember the last time I was here in August talking a bit about how I was guided so strongly to go with a friend of mine and we traveled and we toured all around Florida for six weeks. And there's so many miracles. I've never done anything like that in my life. Just take off in a car, go down. I met so many people that were into a course of miracles. People that I've never met. I stayed with them. I had these deep conversations with them. I went to course groups. I just decided, Jesus, go ahead and use me. And so the first trip was in 1991, was out across the United States in five and a half weeks. And then this trip to Florida in 1992 was the second big trip. It's good as a teaching device because when we rely on our past learning, we don't realize how thick that programming is. You know, we're taught. We need education. We need jobs and careers. You can't go off on most people at the time that thought, is this some kind of a fairy tale thing? You know, you're going in a car down to Florida. You know, do you know people? I said, no, I don't know anyone. That's the fun part. I don't know. I'm going to go to course of miracles groups and people took us in. Admittedly, our car was stolen when we got to Miami. But that turned into a miraculous adventure. You know, you really don't know how well it can care you are in your life until your car. You're traveling. You've got everything in the car. And then the car is gone. The beach came back. The car was gone. It just unfolded. We were picked up by park workers. We were taken in. We were taken right after it happened. Our people that were going to stay with us said, well, we need to stop by a 12-step meeting. Would you come? We said, we have no car. We won't go wherever. So they took us to the 12-step meeting. They were in Miami, Florida. They were running a clothing drive. And people down there have some money. So I had a whole new wardrobe. A half an hour after the car was gone, I lost my whole wardrobe. And I was gifted by these people. I had a 12-step place, a whole new wardrobe. The woman who was traveling with me, she just smiled. She said, the Holy Spirit dresses you better than you dress you. I mean, there was just a comedy show of one thing to the next. But you don't really know about the divine prominence. You don't really know that spirits got your back. When you have too much education and past learning telling you who you are, where you are, what you are, and how you're going to survive in this world. We've become so adept at following the ego that we're entrenched in ego thoughts and ego beliefs. Money, protective clothing, and literally the car was gone. All the clothes were gone. Everything was gone. You know, it's just like, we were walking down by the water and my friend Beverly, her pants, she rolled them up because her bottom of her long pants were wet when we got back to the empty car. And she just gave me a look and I just had lines from the Holy Spirit coming. All things work together for good. There are no exceptions except in the ego's judgment and everything you need. Nothing will be denied you. All these lines from Jesus came just at the moment when the car was gone. And that's how we learned from Jesus our intuition. When things seem to be taking away like these houses, that would be Spencer, Catherine and Igor now because the houses will be gone. How much effort did you put into fixing the houses up over the next six months? It's like making a theater as an agent. We all come to get to enjoy the theater and then it's gone. And the same with Monica. You've left so much behind down there in southern part of Miami but now it's a fresh start. And that may seem to the ego kind of risky and scary but actually what I was saying at the very beginning was the only purpose of perception is to be used by the Spirit to lead us to our remembrance of eternity. There is no purpose for anything in this world other than everything being retranslated into a forgiven world and then us waking up to our eternal nature. So once we start to look at it that way it does start to be like an adventure. The ego would say it's risky. And of course I had many people back then in the early 1990s that were saying David you're taking the course too far. It doesn't literally mean like in 128 the world I see holds nothing that I want. And I was like nothing, nothing at all that I want. I was like in my probably back then, yeah, maybe early 30s and it was like the world I see holds nothing. Don't take it literally David. Don't, don't, don't get too fanatic on this. But that song you are my savior, I believe in you. You can feel the energy around that. If you're caught up in a dream world and you're taking the dream world interpretation seriously and you're feeling stress and darkness and heaviness and you feel sad. You feel tired. You know, if you feel these things Jesus is saying please choose again. Please, I've been here for you all along. I'm closer than your breath. I am so close right here and I'm so willing to offer you the guidance. And the guidance will seem to unwind you from what you've already built from what you've already made. It's kind of like going to the beach down here and making sand castles, you know. We used to do that as kids we would make these intricate sand castles and we would just wait till the tide came in and you know. It was gone. And I can see now the spirit trying to get my attention saying yeah, this is a world of sand castles but don't put too much belief and too much value in the things that you seem to build because that will turn into a tragedy. It will turn into a drama. It will turn into a loss. My mother passed away last year December 7th Pearl Harbor Day and we were out in Utah I think she visited us. We adopted her cat because the cat needed a home so the cat became a unity and we were out there and we were in a bedroom and there was a window there looking to a courtyard there and then Spava said turn around and look because the door into our sun room and I said I turned around and looked and we both watched the handle move and the door opened and I went oh Evelyn is with us we can feel her coming right into the house this big house with the cat we had her cabin and we saw the handle move and she came and just joined us but you start to see that you don't ever really lose people because people are thoughts in your mind they're just reflections of what you believe in they're just means of showing you in your mind what you believe in they don't really go anywhere there's nowhere to go everything is happening in the theater of the mind and once you start to every day just start to look around and say oh what is the dream showing me today or what is it that I need to learn today or what is it that you're showing me and you start to come out from that perspective then it helps you forgive so much faster than thinking of people as people thinking of people as someone that you're attached to someone that you can't live without someone that you would feel grief if they were gone and you know it still comes down underneath it every time we grieve every time we feel sorrow every time we feel loss it's still this continuity that we still have and we've been looking forward in the form and we get so disappointed when the form doesn't go the way that we had planned not realizing that this is the Holy Spirit knocking on our heart again going I'm here I'm the continuity I'm the spirit I'm the communication that you want I'm the connection that you want I'm the warm glow that you want I'm the nurturing that you want I'm here I'm always with you but you won't know it if you keep seeking for it in these persons places things and I felt more and more like this whole world is just a series of seeming release points and letting go and I feel grateful now that I have a context for everything because when something starts to disappear I can enjoy the disappearing instead of I like how a workbook lesson the first workbook lesson is nothing I see means anything then the second one is I've given everything to see all the meaning it has for me and I was just reflecting through how wow that second lesson I have given everything I see all the meaning it has for me is the ego is really big on beginnings and endings you know whether it's a body celebrating the birth of a baby or the death of of a body it means a lot to the ego you know long periods of grief or big celebrations that go on we celebrate repeatedly birthdays over and over every year you know that's the time for people to come together and celebrate birthdays and then the death there's funeral and there's usually periods of grief and mourning and I was over at one time I was in the Canary Islands and I talked to a friend and she was supposed to go to a monastery in the Canary Islands and she got there I think it was a Buddhist monastery and she got there and she was all excited to pray and meditate with the monks and everything and when she arrived the the head monk had just died and they were closing the monastery for a traditional one year of grieving and she was like it's crazy I went there all excited to be in a monastery and they shut the monastery down for a year of grieving which is part of the tradition of this particular group but I thought look at that and then we have somebody like Jesus saying I am the Alpha and the Omega the beginning and the end in total joy he's saying in total joy I am the Alpha and the Omega he's like saying trust in me and you will never taste death trust in me and you will know eternal life trust in me I am the beginning and the end the Alpha and the Omega but yeah this is the kind of thing that a lot of times people don't share because it's like wow I don't want to go and bring everybody down and tell them what we're going through and then the whole thing gets renamed before before you got here all this got renamed because we want healing we do want healing we want expansive joy we want to feel vibrant we want to feel connected all the time not just on special occasions or certain occasions and I think that's the way of reframing it putting it in context of that everything that seems to occur is happening for us to reach our full potential to reach our natural state of mind but nothing isn't that refreshing to think that nothing has ever gone wrong in our life or ever will go wrong it's just that we have to stay present to like emotional honesty like here's what I'm dealing with right now I'll hide it I'll protect it and talk about it I think it is a course in using relationships to heal it is a course in reinterpreting everything that happens in a very radical way and I think over the years I've had a lot of retreats and gatherings some of them two days but I just been always grateful for the healings I mean I've actually done a six week retreat where someone came that was diagnosed with cancer and went into complete remission by the end of the retreat because there was such a thorough opening up to letting all the thoughts up and that she had been resting with and hiding I've just seen how that's the purpose of everything to really do is for healing and we're not really in charge of anything and so it didn't become pretty obvious I mean after I first talked with Igor I was talking with it wasn't very long after that that we were right after the call it just kind of changed and repurposed in terms of the themes because it's part of that thing I will sit back and let him lead the way we just don't feel like we're trying to do anything for the world we're just here letting it show itself and I know it's a lot of healing that's involved with that I think it was the serpent on the mount where Jesus said do not store up your treasures on earth but store them on the kingdom of heaven and so all the things that make up one life at that moment it's actually a really fun job and I like the people I am working with condo is pretty nice a little the size is all good in that sense but I just feel it kind of does anybody kind of like what is a pixel like the picture is just kind of the same and I have no idea it's quite fascinating I know if you get back to it the very back of the text Jesus has a section called and the self he's talking about it's the Christ and the self concept is the image that the ego made as our identity in this world so the whole section self concept versus self he says the Holy Spirit's function is exchanging self concepts in other words it would be too much if the tablecloth was pulled out and all the silver wear and the glasses and the casserole and everything were flying all over the place so he says the Holy Spirit's task is to exchange self concepts and each time there's an exchange of the self concept it's a little bit of a loosening from the world and usually there's a bit of fear because the first change that the mind went through was the fall from grace so now even when there's a change in relationships a change in where we're living a change in our environment our circumstances of our personal life there's a bit of trepidation there's still a bit of fear that gets stirred up because it's a reverberation of that very first fall from grace but he says these changes are always helpful and I always am fascinated by the idea that the script is written and imagine that we're just mentally watching something that has already been filmed it's like one of those old movies it's already in the can it's on the projector and you can't when you used to go to a theater you can watch the film but you can't really change the film you can believe you can identify with the characters don't go in there, stop get away from me we can still project meaning images that are on the screen but the idea that it's all part of a prearranged plan and that it's actually always helpful every change that seems to occur in form is always helpful for us in the bigger picture even though NEO wants to break it apart and say well that was a good day that's a terrible day whoa I didn't see that one coming you know it's the ego is still trying to navigate itself in what's already a prearranged plan so I just know in my life there's been so many shake ups and shake ups in places and people and things and then usually while it's happening at the beginning I was just like I felt like the wheels were coming off and I thought this is terrible this is terrible but then in retrospect I can see every little loosening was actually a benefit I was letting go of the past a little bit at a time I was taking away my hold on the past my determination that things had to be a certain way for me to be happy that I will never be happy unless I can get this back and somehow get that back and then spend years trying to reinvent the past you know to get a better version of the past but it is amazing how our trust grows stronger and stronger I mean just as I was flying down here I texted with you there and then my friend from Germany she said yeah I've been evicted from my house that I've been living in for three years with over clear water and I thought that's odd I'm just coming down to Florida and I hadn't heard from her for years she's getting evicted I hope the same with a friend but I can just stay here two days I need a place for for you know a couple weeks I want to move more to South Florida and then came here and then Ebor said oh we have an apartment that's here until the 15th and so we were able to have a call sitting here all four of us on this couch and Gemini was so happy like oh my god I don't have a place to stay and I just thought I heard in my mind call David or write to David and then then it came a place to stay and those are the ways those are the miracles where things just perception gets rearranged it's all for us and it's all like these miracles just showing us yeah it's going to work out it's all going to work out for the best but you have to at least suspend the ego just for just a little bit to let the miracles kind of come into your mind and show you and convince you over and over and over but yeah we're just so honored to be down here and be used and with all of you in this way to start to explore these things much more deeply because that's all we want we all want to feel safe and secure nobody wants to feel like something's being ripped away or that we're making a wrong turn or that we're doing something that we're going to regret nobody wants to live with regrets based on fear of consequences like what's going to happen to me so it's like an honor that we've all been brought together we didn't even know what this retreat would be but it's seemed to be very destined yesterday I heard the airport I bought something from a woman I was paying attention to signs in various states on my trip and we checked the exchange whatever she said you have a good time with your family and then I said yes and even for those you made it but Scott was telling me I guess there was someone who was coming to this retreat all the way from the Netherlands and could not board the plane because he didn't have the proper vaccination to get into the United States he was very disappointed but we're going to Igor's filming it and so to our dear friend for all of us that made it or didn't make it we're all going down this retreat together he'll have to give us some feedback on how this topic relates relates to him well are there any requests for this now that we know the theme any requests for anything for this retreat no more divorces go deeper into the marriage I think it is beautiful I'm sure even in your marriage which is quite new there's been some surprises and things that have been happening to themselves so it's again that purpose where you desire the purpose and the continuity and it takes over and uses the marriage for the higher good of everyone so that's a great topic that's a beautiful topic it's a few classes a week and it's helpful and I so here's the telltale word for the most part I really enjoy it I like it I think I love it but I'm not sure I enjoy and so as simple as it is and how well it works I'm feeling torn like here comes the divorce part I'm sure within the next year I will be completely done with it and even though it's something I love and I'll say I'll ask Jesus for the guidance and it will come in just so clear it just feels good to be able to share this feeling and these thoughts in the presence of my family with you David especially and to just feel it level up and get it out now beautiful that's good we're exploring the further reaches of it's so interesting that of all the things that we've achieved and pursued and everything in this world that this state of mind goal it's a state of mind goal we're going for the highest state of mind possible and to keep the context like wow that is so different than the form goals the state of mind goal to be happy imagine saying to your friends and elders instead of just I love you, I happy you I joy you I wish you I have no concern about what you do or don't do I just wish you happiness more than that now I wish you happiness I will you happy because God created us happy whoa that just starts to transcend all of our concepts really to will happiness and Jesus is saying he's saying you are the light of the world and you bring the light with you to every circumstance and every situation you encounter you are the love and you bring that love with you you light the room up you bring the joy you bring the glee wherever you go who you are is the purpose of everything he then says the kingdom of heaven is within you the word within is actually unnecessary the kingdom of heaven is you wow so what a state of mind to go for and then we can start to realize wow if I really will love and will happiness and will joy then I can't possibly hold on to expectations around my brothers and sisters I can't be expecting them to act differently or to talk differently or to think differently I want to will it he says will that kingdom of heaven you can will it and yeah we were just talking about that before what a precious thing that we have to be able to use the power of our mind to will happiness to really will it to choose it and it's so different it goes way outside the boxes you know because we were kind of settling for compromise we were settling for mediocre you know we were settling to house my life going my relationship it's better than that one over there or over there Jesus is like come on get over this it works really well for a while and then all of a sudden it's just everything about it starts to plateau and it's everything you try it's just not going anywhere what better sign do you need right and like for me it's you got to do less Jeff you just got to do it once which is just strange this thing it is strange it is strange we think just we've been so accustomed to being the doer that was I need to do nothing what what are you talking about it's crazy yeah yeah you can really see where I like that corporate wrestling you know where today I will judge nothing that occurs Lord let me not be your critic today and judge against you wow you mean to tell me that if I just practice this lesson today I will judge nothing occur he's like teaching us he says you know the way the script is going today just vines and you just want to pick oh the toast is a little too brown there it's a little brown too crunchy too and then you go outside now we might see snow here for the first 60 years you know you expect St. Augustine not to have snow you come to a retreat people say you're going to St. Augustine you're going to the beaches well it's going to be 20 more and we may have a winter wonder man more like Minnesota but see this is where Jesus I think is having some fun with us where he's just saying I just want you to go through a day and really enjoy everything enjoy when the dog barks enjoy when the light turns green and the person doesn't accelerate enjoy it you just stay in there with the green light he wants you to really like to go through a whole day just one day without judging anything letting things all things be exactly as they are wow that's a high standard but we're in for it we're the family of God we've been called by God and it's new I understand what you're saying because we're so used to doing and achieving and organizing we've become masters in that organizing and then it's like he's taking it you're giving me that organizing skill what? so it's truly an adventure to be on yeah to be good so I've been hearing the word in her mind to send Jesus is even saying don't put me above you or different from you I want you to merge merge in the light now don't even see me as different so you're the same take my hand and walk with me yeah that's precious to really go for ascension to go for the merge that's very beautiful yes for one thing where I'm at in my life and he was saying this and everybody said it like what next I'm 55 years old I'm not getting any younger Ben Mary, Ben Horst what is it? why am I here? I guess what I want to know is what is my calling that's what I want what is my calling after all these years what is my calling I still don't know that's it yeah I keep seeing the letters 55 the numbers 555 just feeling like just like we've been talking about big changes big shifts and it's funny that you say that to not to interrupt you but I felt that I was feeling that too I was feeling like this this major shift I haven't told my friend I'm like there's a major shift that's going to happen and I think it's going to something has to do with this retreat I don't know what it is and this morning when I got up I was I did on the Course in Miracles website I have a little eye that should be you know like overkill and it was less than 222 and when I was on my way here and I looked at my destination arrival time 222 222 so hey the plot thickens wow we don't know what we're in for but wow I thank you for sharing I think too I think that's where my life is going where I just try to stay open and open and many many many times I was like wow didn't see that one coming didn't see that one coming gee did not see that one coming but it all worked out in the most wonderful helpful ways meeting people you just never know we know we're not in charge that's the best part you know we have believed that we were kind of partially mostly in charge but now it's starting to become apparent that we're not we're not in charge thank god for that yeah yeah you start to feel gratitude for that like okay what what is it because at the beginning when I first started just traveling and going I just had sometimes had thoughts like what am I doing like this is my calling happening and it really was wondrous and there's so many miracles and so many heart openings and mind openings that I was just so grateful for but I could have never imagined it or predicted it in any way so those are good topics that sounds like that's why you're here you're nothing short of your life's calling well very good well I hope all of us can get some sleep after this and then tomorrow around the same time we come back for another session and then there's a movie that Jesus has given us a great movie Queen Latifah and it's a movie about just about this topic about she's kind of got a pretty conservative life and then things go wide open and miracles start to happen when she lets go into it so that'll be a good movie and then we'll have another session here probably after we take a pause after the movie we'll have a big dinner a Christmas Eve dinner here where we all get to have a family dinner family dinner here so yeah it feels like it's going to be really wonderful we'll just leave it in Jesus's hands and see what he shows us thank you