 Ranger, Warrior of the Woodland! Ranger Bill, Warrior of the Woodland, struggling against extreme odds, traveling dangerous trails, showing rare courage in the face of disaster, in the air, on horseback, or in a screaming squad cover. Ranger Bill is mind alert, already smile, unswerving, loyal to his mission, and all this in exchange for the satisfaction and pride of a job well done. I don't remember right offhand who said, these are times that try men's souls, but a truer statement has never been made. Hi there, boys and girls. You know, those rangers of mine are the finest men on the face of the earth, except when they get a wild notion in their heads. But then, on the other hand, that's what makes people human. Well, it wasn't too long ago that I was ready to flip my lid as the saying goes, because my rangers were acting stubborn, ornery, and cantankerous. And not only did my men act up, say, I almost forgot, we'd better put a handle on this story, huh? Let's see, what'll we call it, ornery to die? That wouldn't be so good. Hotheads wouldn't fit either. How about scaredy cats? Now, there is a title getting close to the truth. Stampede? Oh, that's about cattle. My men are stubborn as mule sometimes, though. You know, a good title just doesn't come to mind right now, so let's just say this story is about lover boy. One day, not too long ago, we were plagued by a sudden absence of doctors in the area. People, doctors, and animal doctors. It all started early one morning as I was walking to the office with Henry. Hey, look who's out bright and early. Looks like Doc Jones. Hi, Doc. Let's go over, Bill. Okay, Henry. Hello, Buzz. Beautiful morning, isn't it? Beautiful for anything you want to do, Doc, except stay inside. That's right. Well, fellas, this is goodbye for a while. Goodbye? What? How come? You aren't quitting us, are you? Oh, no, not at all, Henry, but I need a vacation badly. He had me worried for a minute. Where are you going? Well, that's top secret, but it's far away, believe you me. Far away and no way to reach me. That's the way to do it, Doc. The only way, sometimes, is how long since you took a real vacation. Five years? That long. You really need a rest. Don't I know it? Well, I gotta buzz along. Hold everything and everybody together until I get back. We will. Say, what'll we do if we need a doctor? All there's one coming today to fill in while I'm gone. That's fine. Have a good rest, lots of fun. And how? Bye. He sure is a nice fellow and a good doctor. I'm glad to see him get away for the rest he needs. Right. I wonder who the new doctor is. Whoever he is, he'll have tough shoes to fill, trying to keep up with Doc Jones. Your attention, please. Flight 11 is now loading at gate 2. Passengers to Chicago, Omaha, Junction City and San Francisco, please board your plane. It's going to be a long two months, Matt. Not any longer for you, but it'll be for me, dear. I still don't understand why you're going all the way to knotty pine. Can't you get good medical experience here? Yes, I don't doubt that I could. But remember, my husband, to be that you're going to be tied up on special research for the same two months. Bad chance I have a thing very much of you. That's true. I won't have the three time I'd like for two months. But how about those good-looking He-Man Rangers out there Dr. Jones was talking about? Oh, my dear. I believe you're jealous. Who wouldn't be? It's not every day those fellas have a beautiful woman doctor to sew up their busted heads. Don't you worry a minute. I guess I'd better go now. Please, dear, don't forget to ride an orphan. I'll ride an orphan. That's a solemn promise. I've heard that song before, honey. Sometimes I wonder who you love most. Me or your precious microbes. Don't forget the one you love, Doctor. Not for one minute. Or me and my microbes will be on the next plane going west. Goodbye. Have a nice time. Goodbye, Dave. I'll miss you terribly. Why, Doctor, your emotions are showing. So are yours, you big lug. Bye, bye, dear. Goodbye. Look out for those rugged, good-looking Rangers. A wire for you. Oh, thanks, pal. Sure it's your business, Demby. The new doctor wants me to meet him at Junction City Airport. Doc Jones told him to contact me and I'd see that he'd get squared away. Airport? How far is this doctor coming from, anyway? New York City. New York City? That's right, Gray Wolf. Maybe the new doctor is a friend. Yeah, probably so. I'd better call Marie and tell her the new doctor's on the way. She'll probably want to dust up the office. What's so funny? I'll tell you. That's pretty good old-timer. Yeah, real cute. I'd better call Marie and tell her to look under the desk and see how much dust is collected. Are you sure the doctor was on this flight? That's what the wire said, Henry. It's possible there's a mistake in the wire, but I rather doubt it. Paging Mr. William Jefferson, please come to the information desk and meet Dr. Benson. That's Mr. William Jefferson. Hey, that's us. I don't see a man waiting there. Just a woman. Hey, I never thought about that. What? A woman doctor. A woman doctor out here? Looks like it, Henry. Let's go meet her, huh? What a sharp-looking dish. Henry Scott, watch your remarks. Okay, so I'll change. Wow, what a beautiful woman. Dr. Benson? Mr. Jefferson, I'm Dr. Benson. Just call me Madge. How do you do, Madge? Welcome to the West. I prefer Bill to Mr. myself. All right. Henry, close your mouth. Yes, sir. This gaping young man is Henry Scott. How do you do, Henry? How, how, how? Is he party Indian? Oh, did I say the wrong thing? I don't think so. Henry's not even a little bit Indian. Just a little caught off by, uh, well, that you're a young woman. You know what I mean. Oh, I'm, I'm sorry I spoke out of turn. Oh, oh, oh, that's all right, Dr. Benson. Let's take the ladies' bags to the car, pal, and start for naughty pie. Henry Scott. Oh, yeah, you take the bags. I'll take the lady to the car. Henry, I'm, I'm sure you'll find I'm not a freak. It's happening quite frequently now that a woman becomes a doctor. Yes, sir. Shall we go to the car? Henry, you pick up two of the doctor's bags and carry them and I'll take the other three, and I'm quite sure she can make it to the car under her own power. I'll take the bag, sure. Just a minute. Oh, my. He fell right over that suitcase. Are you hurt? Me? No, I'm all right. Bill, I'll escort Henry to the car. I think you'd better, if you don't mind, a porter or a porter. You called, sir? Yes, help me to the car with these bags, please. Yes, sir. Excuse me, sir. Yes? If that young fella is sick, we can get a wheelchair so we won't fall again. Well, thank you, but he won't fall again. Well, how can you be so sure? Because he's fallen just about as hard as he can already. Batch? Yes, Henry? How long do you have to study to get your degree? Seven years. That isn't long. Well, then there's internship and postgraduate work. Uh-huh. Do you think our fella should always be older than the girl? To what are you referring? Well, when a fella and girl get married, you know, just anybody. Does it make much difference if the girl's older than the fella? Well, I think it all depends on the fella and girl involved. Um, how do you like our beautiful country out here, Madge? Oh, I like it very much. It's really beautiful. I'd like to see more of it in my spare time. I'll be glad to show you're on the country, Madge. Very glad. Thank you, Henry. I'm afraid, Dr. Benson, that you're going to have your hands full. Hmm. I believe you're right. How are you, um, doctoring heart trouble, huh? Oh, I think I can affect a cure. It'll have to be a long treatment, so it's not to be brutal. It's for today. How about you, pal? Oh, me? I'm not tired. What? After riding horseback all day and checking 14 fire lanes and taking inventory of eight fire equipment caches, you're not tired? Nope. Not at all. Hmm. Well, I'd better shake a leg. With Madge? I canceled my date with Murray Lou. Madge? What for? You questioned me about my dates. Oh, um, now you're right, Henry. I'm sorry. I'm taking Madge riding this evening. What's good about it? Hmm? Well, I don't understand. Why isn't it a good evening, young lady? I know why Henry broke our date. Well, Dr. Benson, come on up. Join the party. Good evening. I thought Henry was taking you riding this evening, man. Oh, I didn't think it'd be wise. I have to make a call, so I stopped by on the way. Oh, I see. Madge, this is Mary Lou Thompson. Mary Lou, Dr. Madge Benson. Oh, you are very beautiful. Oh, thank you, Mary Lou. You're an unusually attractive young woman yourself. Well, um, now that the mutual admiration is finished, I suggest we discuss our mutual friend, who currently is suffering from palpitations of the ticker upon meeting one, Dr. Benson. Bill, I hope you don't think I'm being cruel, but I... On the contrary, Madge. But I'm afraid you might find Henry a very persistent young man. Mary Lou is his girlfriend, and now that you've come to town, he's got himself all twisted up. Mary Lou is left out in the cold. That's true, and one more thing. After I'm gone, he'll go back to Mary Lou, or try to, which will only create another problem for both of them. Boy, I'll say it will, because I don't like playing second fiddle. Well, practice a quick way to bring Henry back to earth without doing any damage. I hope so, Madge. Do you have an idea? Oh, yes, I have an idea. You see, it's not very polite for me to announce that I'm already engaged to be married. You're not wearing a ring. My fiance is also a doctor, and he needed the money for a microscope because of his research work. The ring can come later. But my mother has a ring, and I know she'll end it to me. Perhaps that'll be the way to settle matters. It should arrive in several days if I phone her this evening. But what if he doesn't give up? What if he's really in love with you? Henry's infatuated, but not in love with me. Oh, I hope you're right. I know I'm right. You just be patient now and try to help Henry all you can. That'll be helping yourself at the same time. Is she right, Bill? Yes, I'm sure she is, Mary Lou. But, on the other hand, I'm not a woman, so I can't be an authority on these things. This is rugged a place for a woman, doctor. Maybe Doc Jones lost his marbles when he asked her to come here. Let's not pick it on Madge. I mean, Dr. Benson. You have a tummy ache? Billy Goat, your heart will go fumble, fumble, fumble. You're mad, Benson. Henry, not kidding. That's for sure. Bill, you've got me frightened to death to meet your rangers. I didn't mean to, Madge, but I want you to be prepared for the worst. Those men of mine are the finest rangers in the world, but they're also the biggest rascals. And, T, you should know the half of me. Oh, my. It's really not that bad. I just want to alert you so you don't get embarrassed, and so... And watch the old timer. He's a first-class disliker of all female women in a man's domain. I've always said so. They're watching from the office window right now. I wonder what the old timer is thinking up to initiate you. Well, it looks like I'm going to have my hands full. I'll say you are. First, you've got Henry and his crush on you to worry about. And now, all these other men. I feel sorry for you. Bill, this sounds like fun. Is Henry fun, too? Oh, no. Oh, sir. Henry gets my most considerate care to affect a cure. But those other wild and wooly ranges of yours are going to get the business. Medically speaking, that is. I feel well at all. I'm sorry to hear that, Henry. What bothers you? I don't know. I just kind of feel down in the dumps, you know. Not too good all over. Sit down, please. Sure. I want to take your blood pressure and pulse. Anything you want to do is fine with me. Now, just roll still. Sure. Now, let's see. Say, when are we going writing? Shhh. I can't hear when you're talking. Blood pressure's normal. When are we going writing, Madge? Now, your pulse, and please be quiet. Okay, but you still haven't answered my question. Pulse normal? I still feel sick. Open your mouth. Okay. Where are we going lying? Hmm. You have a nasty throat, young man. It's red all over. No horseback writing for you. Huh? I think I'll need some of this. Stuff looks awful. And a little of this. Give that stuff to a horse. And here's for good luck. Who's that stuff for? You. Me. I'm not taking that junk. It's because it looks awful. I've suddenly gotten over my sick feeling. Take it. Who did he kill me? He's not poisoned. Prove it. You still haven't asked. Take these pills. I can't swallow those horse pills. Why even an alligator to have to gulp twice to get them down. Take them? Madge. Only because you asked me to. See, I have a horse. You're a naughty Scott. Now drink this down. I have to. Drink it. Who's the doctor here anyway? Okay. Listen. This kills me. My errors will sue you. What? That ain't the name of God. What's that? Castor oil. Castor oil? Woman, you're crazy. You're not going to doctor me anymore. You look as though you forgot something. Yeah. When are we going riding? Oh, I don't really know, Henry. I'm terribly bushed and I've got some house calls to make. Yeah, you love about this weekend. Well, I don't think seriously about squeezing some free time for a ride. Now, that's a promise. Yahoo! Horse pills. Castor oil. But otherwise, wow, what a dish. Henry Scott. Bye-bye. I wonder if I'll last for two months. Nice to see you again. Thank you. It's nice to see you. You look so nice in that western outfit. Thanks. Manage, what about Henry? Well, I'll tell you Mary Lou, I'm still waiting for the package to come. It's taken off a long time to get here. Well, your mother probably insured it and it takes longer because the records would have to be made of it as it travels this way. You're right. You know, I never thought of that. But please be patient, dear. Everything will work out fine for both you and Henry. I hope so. And remember this. I'm on your side. What's the matter with your foot, old timer? Yeah, I did a grizzly step on it. Oh, boy, I stepped on it. I could almost believe it. That's really the matter, old timer. Don't nail no doubt. You asked for the bill, isn't that right? You said it, Gray. Well, bye, ask for it. Well, let's go see Dr. Benson. You're a foolish stuffy. You're hardly able to walk. You sure must be doing a good job of making it worse. Are you going to the doctor? I'm asking you once more and then I'm going to carry you over myself. Open the door. The old timer is going to the doctor. Take him from that side, Gray. Won't have nothing to hang my shotgun. Stumpy. Stumpy, if you don't stop clowning, I'll let the anesthetic wear off. I'll be finished in a jiffy. That is if you'll be quiet. Then all I have left to do is to bandage it up. Timer, I'm warning you for the last... What's that diamond doing on your left ring? What do you mean, Henry? What's it doing there? Why, you know as well as I do. You're engaged? Well, of course. Say it's when? Well, Henry, I was engaged before I came out here. What's the matter? Are you ashamed of it? Why didn't you wear the ring when you got off the plane? Well, I... Oh, Henry, I'm sorry you're hurt, but really, you haven't any reason to be. What do you want? Henry, please don't be embarrassed. I know all about it, and I understand. Ah, nuts. Henry, her fiancé couldn't afford a ring because he needed a microscope. You know, it really isn't polite for a girl to just announce right after she arrives that she's engaged. That's it. The ring is far. She sent for her mother's ring. I think she's pretty wonderful, Henry. She tried not to hurt you. That's right, Henry. You'll have to admit that I've done nothing to encourage you. You're right, Manj. Absolutely right. I guess I got sore because, well, I wanted to tell you that I knew we could never make a go of it. I knew it was infatuation, but, well, I was getting over it. Thanks, both of you. Now, I will go riding with you on Saturday. That is with you and Mary Lou. That's a date. Isn't it, Mary Lou? Oh, yes. I'll say it is. Hey, what about me? Who's going to watch after me now that I'm all bandaged up around the foot? I'll get you a crutch, Stumpy. A crutch? How good would come of a female? They just... Well, you see what I mean. You just can't convince the old timer that Dr. Benson fixed up his ingrown toenail real fine. Well, see you next week for more adventure with... Ranger Bill comes to you transcribed from the Moody Bible Institute in Chicago.