 I was starting to get dinner ready and haven't called. Being the first person in the family to know and having to kind of report that down the chain, obviously was a very difficult experience. I was away on an island with my sisters. I was in my room doing something. He was like, can you come out? We need to talk to you for a minute. I just looked at my sisters. I said, get me home. And then I packed and sat all night with tears running down my face. Matthew suicided on May 13, 2013. Worst day of my life. When he was a child, he was the happiest child in the family, always smiling. He scared me the most, but he was also the child who shared the most. He was always trying to bring other people's spirits up, even had a detriment to his own sometimes. Amazing. The circulates air all throughout the house. It was my favorite. I think he reminded me a lot of me. Even though he could be typical Matthew, goofball, he always had that soft spot and that underlying caring for people. He just came to me and said, I want to join the Army. I said, what? I was frightened and I was very proud. And then he went to Afghanistan. And that's when he came home and he wasn't my son anymore. He was a shell. You know, as he progressed towards the path that he was on and his mental health declined, I talked to him less and less. I had less contact with him. It was harder for me to get in touch with him. He drank a lot, but he was drinking specifically to blackout so he wouldn't have his nightmare. One of the contributing factors in Matthew's case and cases till now is the stigma that's associated with depression and suicide. And if people felt like they could talk about it and accept it for what it is and to get the help that they need without feeling that they're going to be stigmatized then perhaps there's hope for others. If one person has just taken him to behavioral health, he could be here. If you have to intervene, do it. If you have to be the bigger person, if you have to show a heavy hand instead of a soft one, that's what you have to do to save somebody's life. You have to do it. If you really love them, if you want them to be around, that's what you'll do. Even if it's your best friend and they make you promise not to say anything to anybody that you should say something anyway because it's better to have a best friend that's mad at you than to not have a best friend at all. I'm very proud of my son. I'd trade anything to have him back. It's your life. Don't let anyone tell you what to do with your life. You make those decisions yourself and you do what's best for yourself or if you have a family, you do what's best for your family and that means go for help and it works. I'm living proof. Reach out, person listen, get them help. It's okay. It's okay to talk about this stuff.