 um he gets sexually harassed by someone who he ultimately gets into an affair with and then falls in love with the daughter. I don't know it. Welcome back to Life Lessons in Film. Today we're going to be making sense of life through The Graduate. Yes, Dustin Hoffman. It was an experimental time that that movie came out. But yeah like the main premise right is that young graduate just finishes college and that you know understandably when you're that young still 2021 don't really know what to do next even if you have everyone you know family and friends coming by and suggesting you should get into this industry or trust me this is the way to go you know it's going to be big you know you can have all these people giving you suggestions. Plastics. Plastics yeah exactly he's like one word for you plastic. Okay so I'll remember that you know it doesn't mean anything like his family wanting to well they they I'm trying to think of the word but they drag him around as if he's not really a person a lot of times. They show him off. Yeah they live vicariously through his achievements right he was a successful track athlete. He got some awards. Got some awards he's good at stuff and so they can boast about it but then he obviously feels dehumanized by a lot of that. He just wants quiet time he wants to reflect he's a little bit disoriented you know it's he's done with with university and now he has to be an adult basically and those things are really hard. I got a sense also from that movie which I think is happens a lot at times of families where they want him to know what he wants to do now it's like okay so you know yeah take a couple weeks in the summer but now get off your butt you know but they don't do anything besides that they just say get off your butt okay and do what you know any guidance any suggestions any starting point yeah none of that. The parents are problematic to me for the fact that they just keep pushing for him to make moves and move forward with his life without actually staying down to figure out what's going on with him yeah and then they they also keep pushing him to potentially start a relationship with their friend's daughter again to kind of I don't keep it all in the family right wouldn't it be great if you guys get together too then another reason to hang out with their friends yeah and for longest time you know because no one likes to be for smash made like that when he's like I don't even we don't know each other it's weird stuff being weird stuff forcing things so much oddly and funnily enough they end up actually really getting along and then so maybe okay in that case I guess they were right but it's tricky because at the end of the day if you are a close family yeah which I don't know about this family if they are close to per se but ideally whoever you're dating you can bring home to your parents and they will get along with them and also you bring people home to your parents too for the parents to assess assess them out and because they care about you and don't want you to be taken advantage of or find yourself in a bad um relationship so obviously I think it does make sense for parents if they if they have a friend whose daughter is a good girl or if they have a friend whose son is a good guy and they think that this might be a good match and it obviously makes it easy because then you don't have to do the whole thing of meeting you in laws right yeah so in that way it does make sense of course and I think every single parent would take advantage of that but the guy is very resistant to it and the mom is like well you know what I'm just gonna have to throw a party yeah then and invite that entire family over if you don't want to take her out that is incredibly invasive yeah that's the kind of parents that just will just do whatever they want and never you know the kid will never feel listened to or validated for like you know that's well we're just gonna do that anyways if they didn't even ask him and you know I was thinking I think probably my my favorite part of the movie is the scene where say he finally gives in takes up the daughter and at first he's kind of trying to act kind of dickish because he kind of just wants it to be over quickly and then he'd be like hey I did it okay you happy now you know and then she gets upset understandably and then he's not actually that kind of guy who feels bad and then he starts to be honest with her and opens up right and he talks about you know first of all he's like I always felt like I kind of just had to act a certain way around people you just had to just be you know it's like kind of like the world makes you have to feel like you have to have your guard up and be mean and also he's like yeah people also just seem to know what to do and he's like I just always never really I don't know like I just like how do people figure this stuff out I definitely think that Mrs. Robinson is way more in the wrong he's a kid like she's an older woman and he's still young and she knows that she can manipulate at the end of the day she's he is afraid of doing this because well it's the parents friend yeah and she's older what are my parents gonna think all of these things so he doesn't want to yeah and so I believe that she pushes him into it it's that that thing where people in authority take advantage of that authority because they understand because she is an older lady and she's you know he considers her he still tries to be respectful yeah even when someone you know like your your father's friend and that's why people like that like family friends and who are older they can more easily take advantage or even sexually harass yeah kids like she's saying she's like I've known you since you were a kid yeah I think as all of us were watching this they presented in a way where you kind of forget that Mrs. Robinson is in a relationship yeah and then it's you just kind of start settling into oh they're together they're gonna go and do that even though we know it's bad and then it's and in that way you also start to to not really think of how bad this relationship is really like I'm also just reflecting on it right now because after we watched the movie we were like you know let's not talk about it let's talk about it right then so that's you know that what we talk about is fresh to both of us I'm reflecting on how people in authority figures in a position of authority and this is not like a leadership or anything like that but it's just literally your friends dad your friends mom yeah these people know that you have a certain level of respect the respect for them and they take advantage of that respect knowing that you're not gonna because sometimes you kind of feel bad to say oh no please don't do that you know for whatever reason just because that you've you've grown up with these people and you've known them for a long time and you you want to give them that kind of respect so even though you know that they're doing something wrong it's really hard for you to call them out and they are aware these people who do this and that's why a lot of people that do get sexually harassed it's a lot of times from people they know and it's why it's also very hard to go to court and prove it because you find yourself in this position where I couldn't say no to mr mr Robinson but it was sexual harassment from the very beginning that's how it started off yeah he is trying to get out of there and she's preventing him from getting out literally using a lot of yeah guilt and a lot of controlling yeah language and tactics and he's like yeah yeah yeah and he's like okay fine put it in my daughter's room and then he goes to the daughter and then she closes locks the door and now she's naked that is pure and utter sexual harassment if that were a guy and she were a woman every single person who watched that movie would be like what the hell yeah I feel like there's a lot of men for example who don't who aren't able to come out because of experiences of sexual harassment because of how well oh no it's gonna emasculate him people will find him to be okay but you're too soft you got you got harassed by a woman right but realistically this was a sexual harassment story this whole relationship that was packaged in this way that made us feel like almost endeared to the relationship you realize this is actually a sordid situation. They start to talk and get to know each other yeah yeah but the whole time yeah then you have to remember that exact I think that kind of brings it back to how messed up the situation was yeah when he actually which you know it's a lot healthier for him to actually develop relationship with the daughter. Wow this movie is insane can you imagine like it was insane because it just started as oh this guy is doing this you know little thing with Mrs. Robinson but Mrs. Robinson then accuses this guy of rape it's so interesting because all of these things that happen they're just sprinkled into the movie like nothing is like like it's not as huge a deal I'm not sure if they did that on purpose because he just we find out that the mother accused him of rape just like in one tiny little scene yeah and then it's not talked about ever again yeah and I'm like this is huge yeah the daughter believes him ultimately realizes that the mom is lying yeah even though that's also not actually talked about they never actually sit down and discuss this yeah um in detail the movie goes off the rails a little bit I think just in terms of after she gets upset with him then she goes with this other guy and then they end up about to get married and then you know the rest of the movie is him trying to find out yeah find where they're getting married and then to stop the wedding or to object and then you know she ends up still I guess somewhere feeling like he was innocent or that it was you know I mean growing up she probably knew her mother was manipulative who knows but you know in the end yeah she goes with him um so yeah some of those things they don't really address in the way you'd expect them to which I wonder if it's because of the time right you know because I think if you had a movie like that right now yeah I I don't know if they would have included the rape allegation in there right unless they were going to expound on it further right it's it's really huge because those kinds of things do happen people have been accused of rape and it's it's such a disappointing thing it's disappointing not just for the people who are affected like the people who are held accountable for things that they didn't do yeah but it is also such a huge disservice to people who actually do get sexually harassed or get raped it makes it even harder I believe to for example as a woman if you're approaching if you're trying to seek justice for rape it makes it even harder when there are all of these other when women when people can also falsely yeah it just makes it so much harder and and that is the tricky thing I guess that is hard to get around is that there will always be people that are out to to manipulate and to affect things for their own selfish gains so that they know okay well you know I can just say this thing which means nothing to me it's a huge accusation or whatever but it means nothing to me and this is across the board this could be anything this could be again like accusing someone of anything yeah murder rape you name it yeah yeah I'll say this if you don't if you don't do this I'm going to ABC I really don't think that these conversations were being had at that time and of course obviously they weren't having being had to the magnitude that they that they are now because women really weren't talking so much it's unfortunate as well that I think we are definitely still behind in terms of men themselves getting raped and men getting raped and men getting sexually harassed because these things happen to them too but we're still very much behind on that I think maybe it's because sex is still such a taboo thing for people to talk about and those kinds of dynamics I guess I don't know like why men's experiences with sexual harassment yeah yeah to talk about for fermented talk about things like that it was a big thing for Terry Cruz to come out being sexually harassed by another guy in this case but you know that was a really hard thing for him to bring up yeah I mean I think it's obviously a lot of societal yardsticks at play here a man is not is supposed to be strong enough not to be sexually harassed and if you are being the idea of you being a victim of sexual harassment then he feminizes you and you don't want that right so you're not going to say it makes you a victim you don't yeah men it's not to say that men don't want to be a victim but it's just the world that we live in if you are seen to be a victim then you're weak you're not worthy to be called a man but it was just interesting this movie I think it showed all of those complexities of manipulation and people using power using their power to put someone else in a weaker position and detrimental position for their own personal gains even you know whatever those gains are you know they're not justifiable so um there was a lot of yeah yeah which I really don't know if the people and you know who made that movie were even thinking of that it's hard to say I think there is there is definitely some some themes there but yeah because it's it's not a movie where you can say ah that is the theme of the movie it's definitely like like for instance kramer versus kramer I think you can fairly safely say this is a movie trying to show I guess it was like this but instead of where women generally get custody of kids assume that they'd be a better parent kramer versus kramer the whole theme main theme of the movie is that no sometimes the the father can actually be the better the better parent in this case so but that movie is very clear I think that is like you know that's clearly the central theme with this I think it was something that was there and intentionally there but it wasn't really kind of like what everything was you know gravitating towards you know yeah yeah it's an interesting movie because when I look at it so many things did happen right and you're like what was the movie about could it have just been about a guy who's done with school I mean it is the graduate so he's done with school and he's trying to figure out what's going on and it's just covering his time over the summer and the summer just over it happens to be um he gets sexually harassed by someone who he ultimately gets into an affair with and then falls in love with the daughter I don't know it yeah young young graduate is just trying to figure out what to do with his life and certain things like a like a affair with the older woman happens which is quite a quite an experience and then ends up falling in love with the daughter of the woman she's having first so he gets just it's a big tangled mess but I remember you were watching a trailer or something and you're like oh that looks like a really cool part where they got married and then now they're kind of unsure or worried and you know in this case it's when we have Jax she runs out of getting married with the other guy and then they get on a bus and then they're there and and you get yeah that is an interesting because scene it's one of the it's an interesting scene because it's it's it is uh up to interpretation it's one of those scenes it's one of those movies I think where uh you can look at it as maybe they after the adrenaline and they realize they're kind of safe for a bit because they're on the bus and they're they they escaped you know the wedding and the family and everything so then maybe they're just trying to kind of you know process everything that happened and try and like clear their head or you know maybe they're thinking is that the right decision did that that makes sense or did we just totally screw up like what are we gonna do now yeah I don't know I think you can you could you could probably look at as okay you know they they both realize yes you know we want to be with each other but there's still the kind of linger there they leave it there where they're not just kind of smiling looking at each other and all we're going to live happily ever after the kind of yeah I did the ending was so sad for me that scene because for both of them it was just it took such a heavy toll this guy's just been accused of rape the girl finds found out that the guy he loved was having an affair with his with her mom and then the and then at some point things that the guy she loved raped her mom so so such an entire mess you know a lot of process yeah so both of them have been going through a lot you know and there is I think for both of them just that reconciling with the fact that okay we have basically created fissures between ourselves yeah and our family the comfort yeah the comforts that we are so used to that we've grown up in those have changed we now literally have to fend for ourselves that's a good that's a good point so I think that there's that two people that come from a very cushy privileged upbringing I feel like both their families are probably going to disown them and now they're gonna have to completely go at it on their own yeah and like you said that they're just not even like just entering adulthood and now they're completely on their own yeah okay what do we do now especially when you're starting out having the support of your family to guide you through these changes is such a relieving and you know it gives you that security and so now they don't have that security and so I think that there is that realization that they really truly have to figure out what to do so I think that's that's that's what happened and I felt really sad about it because I felt like it wasn't their fault what happened sometimes when you do have to make your own way from your parents independently of your parents especially when your parents don't agree with your choices that does make it even harder um especially in the beginning but ultimately I think anybody who does make their own decisions even if they're wrong but whenever you take an agency of your own life it is always a good thing um it's always worth it no matter how hard it is at the beginning no matter how many mistakes you make but what when you're starting yeah starting is always the hardest part and these people are starting literally right at the beginning and that's when the movie ends and I think that captures the complexities of the feelings that that they must have had in their heart in that moment especially after all that had happened yeah I don't know what else to say with that no that was a fair bit yeah a good chunk a good hunk yeah hunk of stuff yeah that's about it that's it what'd you guys think of the graduate did you see it then till next till next time that's a wrap bye bye that's a wrap