 When it comes to this game, I feel that I've been lied to. The entire time I was making my way up to this castle, my chat was telling me that this boss fight was going to absolutely destroy me. What they didn't know is that my intense hatred of magic using NPC enemies in this game would result in the beating that you are about to witness in this very video. That's a guy. Put the money in the bed. Open up! I've come with my greatsword. Ooh. Who's gig- Oh, it's a cutscene boss! Ooh, it's been a little while since I've got a feast on something. Maidens? Y'all good? What are we looking at? What do you know about culvers? Are we fighting now? Am I picking up my controller? That didn't sound like fighting where- What in the fuck? I'm not sure who I'm fighting here. Do I have to take- All right, I'm going to go for the ones that are singing because they are- Their singing is matching the shield. Oh yeah, her shield's flat. Am I not? Oh, solar flare? I thought that was the boss. No, they're getting raptured! I need to find the next singing. Ah, there you are. You have a beautiful voice. Shut up. Who fucking rocked my shit? We've got our next artist. Yeah, it's two. And I almost died. Who's singing, bro? Who's giggling? I need to find the last- Wait, where's this fucked up, bro? Am I going to kill all of them? There you are, you little singing bitch. All right, come here. I'm ending it. Shut up. I win. Oh, no. Second phase? Is there a second phase? Do I win? Kick her while she's down. That felt so easy, dude. My beloved. Oh, God. I have no fear. I will hold thee. It's not before I do. Ye will be come. Oh, hurry, Erin, hurry! Forever. Erin! They must run- Run to the right side immediately, though. Gotta run. Mother's rich slumber shall not be disturbed by thee. Mother. Foul trespasser. Send word far and wide. My God, dude. Of the last queen of Karya, Granala of the Fall Moon. What is this? A Final Fantasy 14 boss? And the majesty of the night she conjures. I don't have any health potions left. Do I get a refill? I'm running. Oh, my God. I'm not afraid of no wizard. Shut up, bitch. That thing's gonna fall. I've seen Majora's Mask, okay? Okay, I feel like you hit me with some shit that wasn't really fair there, but all right. I actually posed up like that. She does kind of look like Dark Magician. Oh, brother, this- I'm gonna fucking- My hands are gonna give up before my spirit does. All right, I'm beating it this time. Literally don't forget it, chat. Oh, bro. Why did they- They put a shortcut in, so it means that it- Whoever put this on the- What would you- I need to read this message. What did they put? And I'm gonna downvote it. Lever. Also send elevator back down. That's loser behavior, bro. Fuck. That is loser behavior, though. Because that implies that you know that you're not gonna one try. They eat up so many flasks. They're giggling and they're singing and they're book throwing. Truly, this is like the Scholastic Book Fair all over again, dude. Is it the one in the back singing again? Oh, my God. I died! There's literally no point in dying on that phase. There's no point in dying on that phase. That phase is so- Such nothingness. You took too long. God, damn it. Bro, I couldn't find her. Dying on phase one of that. That's just fucking embarrassing. Holy shit, this boss fight. I'm not sending the elevator back down, by the way, because I won't be coming back here. Hate it here. Excuse me, ladies. I've got a date with Destiny. Please, please, please, please. Ah, I forced it. I forced it. I knew- I knew I couldn't, but- I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm pissed. He's fucking- Oh, I forgot all about this. All right, I gotta find the next- All right, next. I can hear the singing, there it is. All right, on to phase two. Up. All right, next. Jesus Christ. All right, am I full health? I better be full health. I'm gonna be pissed. All right, come on, come on. One time, one time. All we need, one phase. That's it. That's all I need, baby. All I need. Sweet shotgun. Yeah, I've seen that trick before, too. No. Shut up. Don't talk to me. No fucking way, that dog. Stop healing when you're missing 20% when one flask heals 60. Yeah, but the moves can kill me. So, I always like to pre-heal if I don't know if a boss one-shots me or something. Ignore the dogs. I kind of wanted to do that, but then she slipped away. Oh my God, out of the way, dude. I don't know if I can outrun the dogs, but it was gonna be my- My initial strategy was ignore the dogs. Oh, they fade? Damn, the dogs fade? All right, well, then we got this boss in the bag. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to read leather a couple times. Those are dogs that you could summon yourself. Perhaps if I studied the ways of magic, yes, but I do not know magic. I only summon Winston. Okay, okay, okay, okay. There's no fucking way. Oh, cool. Wait, she just summons different ones? There's no way. I'm gonna throw. I'm Godlike! I'm that guy! I'm built different! That's the end of the fight, right? No, I wanted to do the Shadowbringers theme song. Fuck! Is this statue just a statue? Oh, no, that's a steak. That's a steak, which means the boss is ahead, dude. Where is it? Where is it? Liar ahead? No secret pet. Waits. Damn, dude, putting Liar ahead. All right, that was a layered mix. Good job, Souls community. You got me that time. Am I fighting that? Damn, dude. What's going on in here? This is good atmosphere. Oh, shit! Oh, quit your bitching. Nice moves. Oh, easy to telegraph right hook. I've seen it before. There's nothing you can do to stop me. Oh, my God, he did a fucking raised aerial attack. Here comes the right hook again. Easiest telegraph moves in my life. He's gonna explode! Oh, so this is phase two. You gotta... Damn! Damn! All right, so phase... Damn! All right, so you've been holding back. You know what's saying, though? Oh, you little cheatin' asshole, dude. So we're cheating. All right, I didn't know we were cheating. But now that I know we're cheating, come here. Frostbite? How did that oak come? Would it frost? All right, I'll give it up. He fucking got me. I can't... I can't upgrade my sword. If I had upgraded my sword, this guy would have been a piece of cake, but I can't upgrade my sword. I just have to keep charging ahead. Oh, my God, he's so far away compared to where I started last time, which might not seem like a huge deal, but I can't get my free swing in! Oh, brother. This guy won't let me get my... I was in sippy cup animation. Damn, actually, I should have went to get my swords. Use Winston? Can I get on Winston in this boss fight? No, this is a Winston-less percent. We can't use Winston. And quite honestly, I don't need Winston. Winston's for fighting dragons. This guy's not a dragon. He's a bitch. All right, brother. That's fucking annoying that I got to buy that fight. Give me that thug. Oh, come on, man. Cheating little asshole. Oh, he fucking ripped the ground up. I'm dead. I'm not dead. I'm dead. He ripped the floor up. He's actually... He's actually putting in a new flooring, so that's totally fine. This is a dragon, to be fair. I ain't buying it, dude. He's half dragon. Well, then Winston only fights whole dragons. He's dragon kin, which in a fantasy setting, if you don't have at least some dragon blood in you, then you're just a side character, bro. I think the real question on everybody's mind is can I stagger him? Oh, come on. Don't be shy. Come on. Don't be shy. Come here. Oh, and I gave him a fucking slap on the old head as well. I don't care if he explodes. I dodged this. Okay. Yeah, you just got to get away. But I dodged. I know you're done. That's why you're trying to run away. Wait, I'm going to get frostbite. Damn, why are you running up on me like this, bro? Oh, he's fucking good. It's what he's thinking about me probably, like most likely. And that's what I think is funny is that we can both be our own people. Oh, mother fuck. I had him. I'm going to squash him like a bug here in a second. Can I get out of your fucking paint, man? Please. Nice dodge though. You saw that? See how I remain cool under pressure? Why am I not sipping? Oh, I'm not using my sipping. I see what I had. I made a little mistake there with what item I was using. All right. So what do we know about this boss chat? We got to stay on his legs. First things first. I think we do the strategy we do. We wait for the left or right hook. We dodge. We get to his feet. We start going in. We try to force the stagger. Phase one, if we don't, that's fine. But we want to ideally have four flasks going into stage two. Ideally. So we could also play it a bit slower. I'm going to stop and get my zero runes just to feel good. All right. So he's going to throw a, what's it going to be? Left hook day? Yes, left hook day. Get to his legs or just his asshole. I mean, whatever works. Oh my God. He hit us with the back sweep. Nice. Good positioning there. Good positioning there, chat. Love to see it. Okay. He's going crazy. He's doing, he's doing some new age shit. I'm getting, I'm getting free for that. Deserved. All right. That's fine. You know, it's fine to use your one. Especially if you do this and just, no. I got greedy for the stagger. I'm not healing. I'm not healing. I'll tell you that right now. Because I'm staggering right here. He's got to get staggered now. Run for it, chat. Phase two, just as planned. And roll. Shut up. Oh, classic iconic mistake there. Hey, you want to die in a tucked away corner? To hide your shame, huh? I want him to look at me in the eyes when I kill him. Oh, beautiful roll. Oh, I forgot about part two of that attack. Oh my God. I would have been pissed. Damn, he's perched up there. I don't know if he's intended to do that, but it looks pretty cool. What the fuck? What happened? He fell. Okay. So not intended. Yeah, he's going to get... He had to get back up. How fucking embarrassing. He was like, yeah, I'm cool as fuck, dude. Oh, I got him now. You got to be kidding me. Don't fold. Don't fold. Swing, swing. He should have known about me. Easiest boss of my life. I don't know who this dragon thinks it's scary. This is a boss? Nah, nah, I didn't even know. Oh, you are so unlucky. I was going to let you live. You must not have heard about me. They call me the dragon slayer. Damn, rest in peace to this dragon. This is unfortunate. No way that killed me. What? Unreal. So this dragon's got a bit of bite to him. Ah, okay, okay. He's not like the other ones. All right. That's what they all say. Jump over it. The tail swipe. Admittedly, I didn't think this dragon would be strong enough to make me have to take that off. I underestimated this dragon, and that is a mistake I will never make again. Come on, stagger like the rest of them. Here he is. There's my special little guy. Come here, come here, come here. You thought I wouldn't? So you thought you wouldn't get a piece, huh? Oh, he's using the ancient one hit KO move. I've seen it before. Oh my God. Oh, kickflip over the fire. I'm nice. I'm schnasty with it. Oh my God. This guy's a scrub. This guy doesn't know how to play the game. Oh, flying dragon grail. He's going to end up just like the rest of them. They all do that move when they get desperate. Oh my God. Are we taking this battle uphill? I'll fight you uphill. Where'd he go? Coward. Oh, good. He saved the rest of his health for me. Hey, I don't remember saying I was done with you. He's trying the... Honestly, has he even hit me this run? I don't think he's even so much this graze me. Did I hit him with the dangerous spin move? There's just no fucking way he went from right to left. There's just no fucking way he went from right to left. Why would he... It was over. It was over. It was, truthfully, the battle was already won. God, this dragon's a bitch, dude. If he didn't have the fucking... I gotta get off the bridge. If we bring him off the bridge, that attack probably is not even a big deal. But he's on the bridge. I am tucked up right now. Oh, beautiful way to start the run. I gotta be honest. I gotta be honest. That's the way to start the run. Oh, go down, you bitch. Oh, he wants to go down, dude. He wants to go down. He wants to take a little dirt nap. He's begging me to put him out of his misery, and I am happy to oblige. Oh, shit. I'm getting caught up in inputs right now. There he goes. There he goes. I'm not gonna be able to make it. That's annoying. All right, just stay close. I don't want him flying away, if possible. He might do it anyway, but... Oh, no. I'm running. I'm just running. I just ran. I just ran. Grail! Shut up! Oh, no! I threw, I threw, I threw, I threw, I threw! I threw is what you all thought. But I never throw. 80k! 80k for a little old me? Gee whiz, dude. Another dragon down. How does it feel to be so cool? I know. I'm still getting used to it myself. Anyway, I'm gonna beat this boss's ass, too. So y'all are telling me this big bitch is supposed to be a boss? I don't buy it. Just wake the fuck up. All right, all right. So he does have a little boss fight to him. Oh, anti-air. That was sick. Oh, he pierced my sternum.