 Once any of us goes through a traumatic event, it sticks with us, but have you ever wondered how some people seem to recover from trauma while others don't? Well in this video, we're going to discuss 5 signs that you can tell that you're overcoming your trauma and you might actually be doing better than you're giving yourself credit for it. What is up everybody? This is Chris from the Rewired Soul where we talk about the problem but focus on the solution. If you're new to my channel, my channel is all about mental health. So I try to discuss different topics and try to see what we can do to improve our own mental and emotional well-being. So if you're into that stuff, make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell. And quick little house cleaning real quick. So I announced the Shane Dawson Palette Giveaways yesterday and we've had over 400 sign-ups already. So check this out. Check this out. If you've already signed up, so if you've subscribed, you've signed up for the email ring list. If you want to get a second entry into the first giveaway, retweet my tweet for this video. So you'll get not one but two chances to win in this first giveaway. Alright? But yeah, anyways, let's jump into this topic. So what is trauma? Alright? When we talk about trauma, like we often think of like PTSD, right? And for some people, it's something really severe such as, you know, assault, abuse, going to war and all of that. But trauma can happen to anybody who goes through an experience that can be life-changing even, right? Like the death of a loved one or even being in a near-death experience such as a car crash or things like that. A lot of us have trauma that stems from our childhood. So what happens is, is our brain develops trauma responses, alright? Our brain locks in in a park called the hippocampus which is in charge of our memories. It's like, yo, when this thing happens, the sight, smell, situation, whatever it is, you should be afraid. You should get ready to run, alright? Or fight, okay? And yeah, like I was saying in the intro, like it's always fascinated me that some people are better at overcoming their trauma than others, right? So using myself as an example real quick, I had a traumatic childhood. Now it might not be the same as yours, but I grew up in a household with an alcoholic mother, alright? Some of you have had your own traumatic childhood experiences. For some of you trauma might have happened later in life, right? But something that I was always curious about as well, I was talking to a buddy of mine who's a war veteran and he, you know, he has some PTSD from, you know, being deployed and everything like that. But you know, he's back home, he's married, he has kids, he works and everything like that. And I was having a conversation with him and I'm like, what separates you from other veterans who come back and they can't get over it, right? Or get through it, right? Like they've been through the same things you have and he didn't really have an answer, like he didn't really know. Well, I think after reading some recent books, I think I've found the answer, alright? So we all know about PTSD, post-traumatic stress disorder, alright? But something that we don't talk enough about is something called post-traumatic growth, alright? So this has been covered in a bunch of different books I've been reading lately, but the most recent book that I'm reading is called Super Better by Jane McGonagall, alright? And I'm kicking myself in the butt. I wish I would have started this book sooner, like, oh my God, I cannot stop reading it. It is so damn good. And I'll do some more videos about this and everything like that. Like if you feel like you've been stuck in your mental health journey and you're trying to find a new way to kind of like overcome depression or anxiety or trauma, whatever it is, check out this book Super Better. I promise you, you'll love it. Well anyways, Jane McGonagall, she has done so much research. Like part of her studies, they've looked at, I think she said over 400,000 people, right? And she was fascinated with, too, was this post-traumatic growth. How come some people are overcoming their trauma? And she found that there's five common things that people with post-traumatic growth have. So I'm going to talk about these five things. What I want you to do is ask yourself where you're at with these different aspects, how you can move forward with these different aspects, or, you know, work towards these different aspects, alright? So I'm going to use some of my own personal experience because something that I'm trying to do is because my life is a million times better than it was, right? And I'm always trying to deconstruct it and see like, what have I done or where am I at? Like, why am I handling things better than some people are? How can I break that down and use that to help others? So I'm going to use some of my experience to go through this, alright? So number one, the number one thing that people say with post-traumatic growth is my priorities have changed. I'm not afraid to do what makes me happy. So like I was saying too, part of trauma can also be having a near-death experience. So for many years, those of you who don't know me, I was in a drug and alcohol addiction, right? Many children of alcoholics and addicts become addicts themselves. And during my addiction, I was very depressed. I was very suicidal. And seven years ago, I had a 10% chance of living, okay? I was this close to death. They told me that even if I got sober, like, I was probably only going to live another year, okay? So I often look back at that situation as well, because I was totally hopeless. So when it talks about my priorities have changed, I'm not afraid to do what makes me happy, like hugely, hugely, like my priorities have changed, right? Like my son, for example, like back in my addiction and any other fellow recovering addicts out there, like the addiction takes precedence over everything, the drugs and the alcohol, right? But another thing is too, like coming that close to death, like all my priorities have changed. And like the last six months, like this year has been very difficult for me and I feel like I've taken a lot of steps back, but reading these books and kind of looking at these different things and kind of having something to set my sights on, I'm like, okay, that's where I was. This is where I need to be again, right? So the second thing people with post-traumatic growth say is I feel closer to my friends and family. Yes, yes, yes. So for me, like I mentioned my son, I have my beautiful girlfriend Tristan, you know, I have my parents and I have my friends too. And I have the new friends that I've acquired since getting sober and just, you know, other people who knew me in my addiction and who I've grown up with and everything like that, like my relationships mean so much more to me, especially I'm more connected with people who have been with me throughout, you know, my addiction as well as my recovery. Some of my best friends that I've known since I was a teenager, right? And it took me getting sober and going through everything I've been through in my life to really know what a good relationship looks like. And when I say that, I mean, good relationships are two way streets. Like I legitimately something I try to do to foster better relationships with my friends and everything and, you know, let them know that I care. I set reminders up in my phone all the time just for silly things, not just like birthdays or anything like that. But if one of them has like a doctor's appointment or something like that, like I try to set it on my phone and like foster a better connection with people. All right. And then something I also do if a friend was sick or like my mom recently, she had surgery earlier this year and everything like that. I set a reminder, right, not only for the day of the surgery, but also days afterwards, right? Follow up with them and see how they're doing. Okay. So the third thing people say with post-traumatic growth is I understand myself better. I know who I really am now. And this is something especially since getting sober as well. And it took me time. It took me a lot of time to discover who I was for a long time. I had no idea who I was. I, uh, when I share my story, like my full story, I discuss how I used to be this kind of like social chameleon. I was constantly changing who I was and who my personality was based on who I was around and everything like that. Right. And it's taken me a long time to discover who I am and get to know myself and like myself for a long time. I had no clue what I liked. I had no clue what I liked, what I didn't like, and I just experimented with everything. And if you're like that, I suggest you do the same because I wasn't finding happiness and fulfillment, just doing things that other people liked or like when I was back, you know, just dating, you know, and everything like that. Like I would change for the girl I was with and everything like that, you know what I mean? But now I know myself and I know who I really am. All right. So number four is they say, I have a new sense of meaning and purpose in my life. Yes, yes, yes. Like coming so close to death for me. It's made me want to live each day with more purpose, but also overcoming my addiction, you know, massive improvements in my depression and my anxiety, my, you know, traumatic childhood and everything like that. I have found meaning and purpose in helping others, right? Like why do I have this YouTube channel? Like you guys, it's something I haven't even discussed. So hi, this is the first time I'm saying it. I actually have a full-time job. I'm back to full-time work and I've been back doing it for a few months now. And I'll dive more into that in another video. But like I love doing this so much and helping others that not only am I working like a 40 plus hour week, but I come here and I'm still doing pretty much daily videos. And sometimes when I'm feeling kooky, I do two videos a day. And, you know, through the whole month of November, I'm doing daily mental health blogs as well. And it's because I have this new sense of meaning and purpose in my life. And I often look at myself and I'm just like, I can't, in good conscience, be where I'm at today, have been through everything I've been through and not try to use that to benefit others, right? So number five, the last thing is I'm better able to focus on my goals and my dreams. And this, what a great number five. Like, again, this is something where if I'm being just, you know, honest and trying to be self-aware, I made some major back steps this year after everything happened. But I feel like I'm finally getting back on the track and I'm better able to focus on my goals and my dreams. If any of you watched my other video about how I've wasted the last six months of my life, like I, the way I envision it was like I was on this path, right? I was on this path and then like a storm or something like maybe like Dorothy Wizard of Oz style, I like picked me up and just took me off the course, right? And it's taking me six months to get back on the right track because here's the thing and this is what I hope for all of you. When you get back on the right track, when you're able to focus on your goals and your dreams, everything else is just noise, right? Everything else is just noise. Like my goals and my dreams involve being a good father, right? Being a good boyfriend, being a good son, right? But also helping as many people as I can and giving them hope to improve their mental health or overcome their addiction or whatever it is, right? So the rest is just noise. You know what I mean? The crappy comments that people leave, the little tweets that people do and everything like that is just noise because I'm getting back tunnel visioned on my goals and my dreams. And that doesn't have to be yours. Maybe yours is the career path that you're going towards or improving your own relationships and things like that, like whatever your goals and dreams are. But I want you to look at this list again and ask yourself, like, how are you doing with these things? Right? And you don't have to be like where I'm at. You might be ahead of where I'm at, right? You might be behind where I'm at. It doesn't matter. But like something that helps me out a lot is knowing what to aim for, like knowing what to strive for, right? Am I going to let my trauma run my life? Right? Or am I going to work towards something? Am I going to work towards something and overcome this thing and use this as something that is built up strength and resilience? You know what I'm saying? So anyways, like I said, like even if you're not in the Shane Dawson giveaway, retweet this video, share this video because chances are you know somebody who has been through a rough past and maybe maybe they're actually doing better than they think they are. All right. But anyways, that's all I got for this video. If you like this video, please give it a thumbs up. If you're new, make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell and a huge, huge thank you to everybody who supports the channel over on Patreon as well as everybody who supports the channel by buying my mental health books and merch and all that good stuff. All right. Thanks again for watching. I'll see you next time.